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2100
2101

Pizza delivery used to be so much more classy (imgur.com)

submitted ago by nernernerner

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[–]Kerse 115 points116 points ago

What hasn't changed is the "What am I doing with my life" look the delivery guy has though.

[–]Auspants 42 points43 points ago

My local delivery guy drives a "Mystery machine" style painted van and is rocking a ponytail he's had since the 70's, he loves his job and all the people he meets.

[–]cinemafia 60 points61 points ago

Pro-tip: he's delivering more than pizza.

[–]I3addog 8 points9 points ago

you say that like it's a bad thing ?

[–]cinemafia 10 points11 points ago

Nah, more power to 'im!

[–]danielw1245 2 points3 points ago

there's only one pizza place where you live?

[–]Auspants 2 points3 points ago

There's probably a hundred, I don't order terrible Dominos/EagleBoys/PizzaHut on a regular basis and my current small business store only has the 2 drivers. I actually need to find a new place with good pizza, the store has been bought by asians and all the staff are rude as hell (bar mystery machine guy), i refuse to support a business that makes me feel like it's a chore for them to take my money.

He's only delivering pizza btw, I made enquiries one night and it seems he's devoutly anti-drug since the 80's, he doesn't even smell like patchouli any more, just clean living.

[–]I3addog 0 points1 point ago

You say that like it's a bad thing ?

[–]Grimku 202 points203 points ago

But your highness, it is not delivery! It's Digiorno!

[–]mach-2 45 points46 points ago

Forsooth I didst not summoneth the unleavened bread of pig delicacy...

OFF WITH THINE HEAD!!!

[–]I3addog 31 points32 points ago

But sire, we delivered it within 30 days or less ?

[–]zombiejerky 26 points27 points ago

This is a pizza delivery for Lord I.C Wiener.

[–]gravehunterzero 10 points11 points ago

Why I only know of Duke Frosty from the land of Phallus.

[–]Fhajad 9 points10 points ago

It's a karma graveyard down there.

[–]dariusz2k 1 point2 points ago

Did thou have the prior knowledge that the can get two Digiorno pizza's for the cost of one delivery?

[–]pieguyfry22 2 points3 points ago

Made by his lordship, Signore DiGiorno de Longoria himself.

[–]FreeDirt -3 points-2 points ago

M'lord compliments you on your doughy art.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Shadax 5 points6 points ago

aaaaaand I'm fired.

[–]ChuchuCannon 1 point2 points ago

What was it a picture of?

[–]gammarayzzz 0 points1 point ago

fuck you. my boss was next to me.

[–]Dstanding 0 points1 point ago

what was it?

[–]sad_man_at_a_bar 0 points1 point ago

we may never know

[–]gammarayzzz 0 points1 point ago

on the contrary...

[–]gammarayzzz 0 points1 point ago

http://www.reddit.com/tb/tswjw NSFW

[–]I_read_a_lot 28 points29 points ago

If anyone is wondering, it's a Masaccio

[–]CookieTop 25 points26 points ago

I was wondering what kind of pizza it is, not who painted it

[–]kenz101 1 point2 points ago

Spoken like a true gentleman.

[–]I_read_a_lot 1 point2 points ago

without doubt, a margherita.

[–]fiction8 0 points1 point ago

I'm pretty sure the faux-Italian pizza joint here has a Masaccio.

[–]WNBA-Allstar 91 points92 points ago

Special instructions: I want you to come with your posse and play me the song of your people

[–]ark_keeper 24 points25 points ago

Prank pizza order coupled with a Rick-Roll

[–]Fudgalicious 25 points26 points ago

We shall call them... Pizza Rolls....

[–]HereForKarma 9 points10 points ago

AWWW YEAH!

[–]ryder77 6 points7 points ago

I'm jealous of your special instructions, we don't get that fun down here in South America. The most fun I get when I order pizza is using Iron Man as my name.

[–]Fhajad 1 point2 points ago

Special Instructions don't allow that much space usually. I have to type shortly to have them knock for me.

[–]Fudgalicious 5 points6 points ago

"cum w/ posse, play me song of ur ppl"

[–]redforeva 1 point2 points ago

pizza order + http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clzFybU5kDg

[–]voxoxo 0 points1 point ago

I'd pay extra for that. A lot. Maybe there is a good business plan here.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Disconcerted 1 point2 points ago

No go away :D

[–]seanbennick 13 points14 points ago

Sure, it was easy back when it was 30 fortnights or less.

[–]asdkleknmv 0 points1 point ago

that is over 1 year

[–]seanbennick 0 points1 point ago

I know! But I liked that it also worked as Fort Knight so had to use it.

[–]Mavriq420 7 points8 points ago

Classier* more classy is improper grammar.

[–]ThrowShitOnTheGround -4 points-3 points ago

Downvote for noob explanation.

[–]Mavriq420 0 points1 point ago

Down vote for being stupid.

[–]Seven_sins_Greed 15 points16 points ago

Did awkward redditors make them draw on the box back then too?

[–]SwiftyLeZar 6 points7 points ago

"I presume the pizza will be delivered in the standard box? Excellent! I require that the box must be emblazoned with a detailed map of the Kingdom of Sardinia, for I am to travel thither within the fortnight. Also, include on the map some humorous drawings of dragons because I want the box to earn karma approval from my friends."

[–]fionnt 2 points3 points ago

you'd shit bricks if somebody rang your doorbell and when you opened the door, announced your pizza delivery with a trumpet and a gang.

[–]chrisv650 4 points5 points ago

Is that Bill Murray?

[–]returno 12 points13 points ago

That's a photo from the Goldman Sachs executive dining room.

[–]SPACE_LAWYER[!] 6 points7 points ago

this shows a fundamental lack of understanding of wealth. You picture in your mind that rich people eat the same foods as you just in a fancy room and with tons of servants. You are correct that the dining room is exquisite and the handmaidens and jesters are well trained, but the actual foodstuffs and victuals are of a construction and origin that would blow your mind. You should google 'giant coconut crab' and 'vellum'

the foods of the 1% are one of the greatest mysteries of our time

edit: for the doubters, here are a few more: cuttlebone, milk snake, tiffany glass, anemones, receipt paper, goretex, bokchoy and squab

[–]dwowd 2 points3 points ago

Vellum? As in paper?! Rich people dine on paper??? I'm gonna need a source lol.

[–]SPACE_LAWYER[!] 2 points3 points ago

its not paper, it is prepared calf skin used as paper

[–]dwowd 0 points1 point ago

Oh, my bad. Yeah, that sounds way more delicious

[–]SPACE_LAWYER[!] 0 points1 point ago

until you have dined on a thousand year old illuminated manuscript, or even a scrumptious dead sea scroll, you simply have not lived

much like you can buy fish and rice wrapped in seaweed at the grocery store, I was at a party a few weeks ago that had toro wrapped in pages from an original Gutenberg

[–]MDKrouzer 2 points3 points ago

Goretex is the real delicacy here. Practically melts in your mouth.

[–]dwowd 0 points1 point ago

One day, I'll be able to afford the goretex appetizer. Until then, it's back to fried mushrooms for me.

[–]jargoon 5 points6 points ago

They dine on the stolen dollar bills of the oppressed and toast with the tears of the proletariat

[–]Theinternationalist 1 point2 points ago

Dollar bills are made of vellum!?!?!?!?!

[–]jargoon 2 points3 points ago

Rich people have special ones minted

Just like how they use silk toilet paper

[–]fiction8 1 point2 points ago

receipt paper too, at least according to the space lawyer.

[–]redforeva -2 points-1 points ago

coal

[–]Auspants 2 points3 points ago

HEAR YE ! HEAR YE! THINE PEPPERONI FLATBREAD HATH ARRIVED!

[–]HereForKarma -1 points0 points ago

AWW YEAHHH!

[–]thechauchy 16 points17 points ago

http://www.imgur.com/aBx45.jpg

[–]Zarokima 8 points9 points ago

Thine*

[–]DrunkenAss 16 points17 points ago

THOU HAST SLANDERED MINE GRAMMAR, I CHALLENGE THEE TO FISTICUFFS.

[–]Zarokima 2 points3 points ago

Away to thine home, gentleman. Thou art yet again inebriated.

[–]DrunkenAss 0 points1 point ago

I concede, good sir, to your correct and eloquent use of thine. Your superiority is evident in your reply.

[–]BedHedNed 4 points5 points ago

No, thine is only used when the following word begins with a vowel.

[–]Amunium 1 point2 points ago

I've heard that as well, but it doesn't seem to be the case.

[–]BedHedNed 2 points3 points ago

"thine house" is still correct the same way "an historic" is technically correct provided you drop the h.

[–]Amunium 1 point2 points ago

Seems you're right, in all cases I can find it's always in front of "h" when not a vowel. I didn't consider that "h" would have been considered a vowel (or more likely mute). TIL, thanks.

[–]thornae 4 points5 points ago

Actually, given that "thou" (and conjugations thereof such as "thee" and "thine") is a familiar pronoun (used with close friends and children), in the situation, it's much more likely to be "Your pizza hath arrived".

Edit: Unless, of course, M. Ducreux is boning the recipient of the pizza. Since this is the most likely scenario, I withdraw my objection.

[–]Seven_Sins_Anger 10 points11 points ago

Imagine how amazing that pizza delivery service would be.

You're hungry one night, but you don't want to cook food because all the cereal bowls are in the bottom of the the sink full of dirty dishes. You call the local pizza store for one medium cheese pizza. 30 minutes later the doorbell rings, followed by one of those shitty High School marching bands, led by Spongebob Squarepants. The pizza delivery guy walks in at the end, pizza in hand, muscles rippling through his wet shirt. The next thing you know, your panties are drenched with want. "Hey Pizza guy... I don't have any money... But... I can pay you back another way..." 80s porn music starts playing in the background as you two have sex with the entire marching band still inside the room.

[–]Roaven 0 points1 point ago

http://gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs1/1434458_o.gif

[–]CommissarCool 0 points1 point ago

I dunno if I would want to have sex with the delivery guy every time I wanted a pizza.

[–]JasonV3124 -1 points0 points ago

...

[–]erikcasey 4 points5 points ago

And the best part, they don't accept tips. ....... cause they're slaves.

[–]mruss_rr 4 points5 points ago

That is exactly how they deliver it to me. As I live in a closed guarded compound it is no free access to strangers. 1) Pizza guy calls from the gates over cell-phone, announcing that Pizza has arrived. 2) I call to cond management 24hrs service confirming that there is Pizza guy at the gate. 3) She calls to the gate guards to let him in 4) He calls me over cell-phone and asks where is the entrance. I explain the directions. 5) He calls me over inter-com with his face on the LED screen announcing that he is about to deliver pizza so he requests to open the entrance doors. I push the knob. 6) He rings me over door bell, showing he face again. 7) We trade - I give money, he gives pizza. 8) He solemnly departs.

[–]TheBlackestManAlive 6 points7 points ago

I hope he gets a good tip for that BS, otherwise meet him at the gate before they start spitting on your pizza.

[–]mruss_rr 0 points1 point ago

3 bucks for a tip. Is it ok?

[–]TheBlackestManAlive 0 points1 point ago

Damn, if you're looking to save money I'd just pick up the pizza. With gas costs it probably costs him more in gas idling at your gates calling you.

[–]mruss_rr 0 points1 point ago

I guess that even if I walk to the gates I supposed to give him something. Usually it is round up to 100 roubles, so it comes to 2-3 dollars. Pizza is 20$ roughly, we usually order 3.

[–]TheBlackestManAlive 0 points1 point ago

I should apologize. I just assumed you were American (Because I'm American and we do dumb stuff like that) I don't know the standard tip system in Russia. :/

[–]mruss_rr 0 points1 point ago

Hey, we are redditors, we do not apologize as we do not offend each other! cheers :)

[–]Icovada 1 point2 points ago

That sounds extremely annoying. And what the hell is a "gated community", a castle with moat?

[–]mruss_rr 0 points1 point ago

That is pain in the ass. When they change security guards, they do not recognize the face and even try to ask for a pass.

[–]Icovada 0 points1 point ago

"they"? What is it, a prison? Who's "they"?

[–]mruss_rr 0 points1 point ago

Condo management.

[–]Icovada 0 points1 point ago

You speak of it like you have no control or say over it

[–]mruss_rr 0 points1 point ago

Mostly no control. Legal stuff is complicated, it is a new living area, built 5 years ago so owners are not well organized. Besides it is big split among us, one part - a smaller one - is against hard prison-like system, the other - bigger one - is for tight security. Personally I find this outrageous. If we were organized in some union we could pass our own rules, untill that the development company has the appointed service company that basically does not care much about anything as long as everybody pays.

[–]Icovada 0 points1 point ago

Sincerely, that sounds terrible

[–]Cozen 0 points1 point ago

Are you a paranoid millionaire?

[–]SPACE_LAWYER[!] 1 point2 points ago

apartment building in west hollywood

[–]mruss_rr 2 points3 points ago

I wish it was that. It is downtown Moscow

[–]thebeardsman 0 points1 point ago

And then the pizza is poisonous and you die anyway.

[–]ICISIC 1 point2 points ago

Even Emperor Palpatine is there, waiting to enjoy some pizza.

[–]itsprobablytrue 1 point2 points ago

Are you kidding me? That shit still goes on when we get pizza delivery. Sure the pizza guy doesnt arrive with his own trumpets but when it's signed for it's like the lighting of the beacons from lord of the rings.

MOM: KIDS, THE PIZZAS HERE GET SOME BEFORE YOUR DAD EATS IT ALL!

Senior kid: LIGHT THE BEACONS!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Now they just show up at your door, expecting a tip, even though there's a giant hole in the center of the pizza with a giant cock peeping through much like as if you were playing whack-a-mole.

[–]QuickityJacks 1 point2 points ago

I occasionally order pizza when hungover. Let me tell you, friends: as soon as I stopped puking and crying from the noise and surprise, I would have punched the horn-blower in the face so damn hard.

[–]whitesock 1 point2 points ago

I was able to recognize and identify the Fleur-de-lis of Florence before I even noticed the Pizza. Too much crusader kings...

[–]cyberfinger 1 point2 points ago

the nun's seem none too happy that trumpet dude is blasting their eardrums

[–]noisyturtle 1 point2 points ago

Announcing Duke John of Papashire!

[–]h-v-smacker 1 point2 points ago

Their faces are so dull, I'd fancy this music as appropriate for the occasion.

[–]NAM_killer 1 point2 points ago

Dunno about you guys, but when I delivered pizza, that's pretty much exactly how it went down

[–]Stare_Decisis 1 point2 points ago

Presenting peperroni pizza with extra cheese! Horns

[–]Epershand 1 point2 points ago

That guy: "What am I doing with my life?"

[–]daveburnt 1 point2 points ago

Pie cheesy dominae! Hot delivered requiem...

[–]GoColts8718 2 points3 points ago

I didn't know nuns liked pizza.

[–]Seven_sins_Greed 26 points27 points ago

You don't watch much porn, do you?

[–]computertechie 0 points1 point ago

I feel like there's something going on between you and Seven_Sins_Anger up there, but I can't quite put my finger on it...

[–]capfal 0 points1 point ago

The fact that they were created on the same day, maybe?

[–]cluelessdino 5 points6 points ago

Nuns are people too.

[–]Ozymandias12 5 points6 points ago

Seems like they don't. They look pretty pissed off.

[–]centurijon 1 point2 points ago

If some kid was blowing a vuvuzela right next to me I'd be pretty grumpy too.

[–]Clit_Eastwood 1 point2 points ago

That's definitely the city of Florence, Italy. I'm pretty sure I've climbed that structure and the flag bears the emblem of da Firenze. I need a life.

[–]nukefudge 1 point2 points ago

pizza was serious business back then, huh.

it look like everyone knows they ain't gettin' any of it. probably some kind of posh/royal food.

[–]Felix_Austria_nube 4 points5 points ago

Pizza was food for the poor in Italy. You put anything you have left on it.

[–]nukefudge 0 points1 point ago

i was actually browsing this just the other day

but yeah i was just making a funny about the (faces in the) image =)

[–]Rainbowsofpaint 0 points1 point ago

Oh Fry your life will get better.....

[–]xayzer 0 points1 point ago

I like my pizza delivered like I like the heads of my enemies delivered - with fanfare!

[–]ronaldraygun91 0 points1 point ago

I don't know what you're talking about cause that's exactly how dominos delivers my pizzas. But only when I get a two liter of coke for only $2.99!

[–]bytemovies 0 points1 point ago

One pizza with extra big sausage for the Princess?

Off with his head!

[–]McG4rn4gle 0 points1 point ago

Those ladies on the right look really hungry - I know that face well.

[–]thefauxphantom 0 points1 point ago

I remember the days when pizza delivery man was a distinguished position...I miss them

[–]the_last_carfighter 0 points1 point ago

half hour or....else

[–]welshhorse1 0 points1 point ago

What is this picture about? Imgur is blocked :(

[–]RandomMandarin 0 points1 point ago

What is bread may never fry!

[–]Pikachu666 0 points1 point ago

And judging from the people on the right, the customers used to do much stronger drugs!

[–]pastalicious 0 points1 point ago

I don't think that guy is Servsafe certified.

[–]Expressman 0 points1 point ago

Hey, for that money I'll play the trumpet when I deliver your pizza.

[–]GanasbinTagap 0 points1 point ago

30 minutes late and the delivery boy is now your servant.

[–]trampus1 0 points1 point ago

I think some LARPers should recreate this. Just order a pizza and then have a bunch of guys in medieval outfits pop out and start blaring horns to announce the pizza's arrival. Then when the door opens, boom, King Arthur.

[–]DukeOfReseda 0 points1 point ago

What if he came late?-

[–]RobPeriod 0 points1 point ago

If you have the money, anything can be made classy.

[–]IHeartPallets 0 points1 point ago

Still, gets there 20 minutes late

[–]Morans 0 points1 point ago

Nuns are all like "fuck off, horns."

[–]moyerr 0 points1 point ago

Domino's special instructions: don't ring the doorbell. Stand outside and play the bugle until I open the door.

[–]ColoBB 0 points1 point ago

that pizza delivery could be made for more classy payment :D

[–]Icantputoneyeshadow 0 points1 point ago

I like how the guy behind him is bringing in the basket of cheesy breadsticks as well.

[–]Mettkatrel 0 points1 point ago

No dipping sticks :(

[–]ReactsWithWords 0 points1 point ago

I wonder who doesn't like pizza and ordered that giant sandwich.

[–]wakaba 0 points1 point ago

Doesn't that guy look like the guy who holds a giant printed face that does the funny thing? What did I just say..please somebody link to that image! The funny guy. hahaha ohgawdineedtosleep

[–]classoutmyass 0 points1 point ago

Pizza Hut needs to step up their game.

[–]R3MY 0 points1 point ago

Enough with having the pizza place draw shit on the inside of the box. The first person to get the delivery guy to deliver the pizza exactly like this wins.

[–]aqaspecification 0 points1 point ago

Anyone know what that actually is?

[–]xhupsahoy 0 points1 point ago

There was a stand-up comedian who did a bit about a business he wanted to start, 'Classy Pizza'. It would be delivered by a butler in a limousine. His reasoning was that people like pizza, and they like classiness, too.

Maybe if that company existed, there could be a 'modern' or 'classic' option. Classic being as depicted above, of course.

[–]CPTkeyes317 0 points1 point ago

You know what fuck it, I'm using a vuvuzela next time There is a delivery. It'll be legendary

[–]leftnotracks 0 points1 point ago

“My appologies, good Sir Delivery Boy. I have misplaced my coinpurse. Wouldst thou accept payment in another form?”

[–]Finnzipuss 0 points1 point ago

The nuns always hated Pizza Party Friday, cause the king always had dibs on the breadsticks.

[–]marisunday 0 points1 point ago

Why are they so upset to be getting some fancy pizza?

[–]Kunkletown 0 points1 point ago

I hear they also liked a little more fat on their pizzas back then. I'll have "The Ruben" please.

[–]miracleworker34 0 points1 point ago

presenting the royal bacon cheeseburger pizza

[–]prometheus1981 0 points1 point ago

Bitch get the fuck off! Pizza coming through!

[–]jakethesnake76 0 points1 point ago

unless you were to close to the horn the it was like being in NYC all over again..

[–]bigoldirtydick 0 points1 point ago

It's a meee, a pizza!

[–]pizza_lord 0 points1 point ago

Those were the days.

[–]crystallyn 0 points1 point ago

Who painted this, btw?

[–]the_empire_of_death 0 points1 point ago

It's not delivery...it's DiGiorno.

[–]satisfyreality 0 points1 point ago

Here thee, Here thee, we have cometh to deliver thine pizza to your majesty, I. C. Wiener.

[–]I_have_no_username 0 points1 point ago

Hear ye, hear ye... pizza! for a Mister I. C. Wiener.

[–]polaroidgeek 0 points1 point ago

The Giglio on that flag - I have that tattooed on me. Hooray. Or something.

[–]Roomy 0 points1 point ago

Why does that Nun look so evil?

[–]Shyamallamadingdong 0 points1 point ago

The entire painting is also in the shape of a pizza, we've got some subliminal shit right here

[–]crystallyn 0 points1 point ago

I was interested to find out more about this painting and wrote about my findings here: http://crystalking.com/blog/2012/07/19/renaissance-pizza-delivery/ Basically it's not a pizza, it's a special ceremonial tray used at a birth. The painting itself is named after the tray.

[–]Relevant_jokes -1 points0 points ago

I saw this guy in an Italian restaurant ordering pizza in fluent Italian. The waiter seemed to appreciate his willingness to accept their culture.

So, I tried the same thing in our local Chinese restaurant.

I squinted my eyes and shouted, "Harro! Spesha frah raice prease!" But instead of showing appreciation, they took the upturned prawn-cracker basket from my head and told me to get out.

[–]ojolejano -1 points0 points ago

Repost goddamn it, who many times i am going to have to see this with a slightly different title?

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