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848
849

Daniel Radcliffe on self confidence (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by WheatOcean

top 200 commentsshow all 269
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[–]arksien 181 points182 points ago

I wonder what kind of sleazy pickup lines he generates from that.

[–]Craigellachie 534 points535 points ago

If you were a Dementor, I'd become a criminal just to get your kiss.

My name may not be Luna, but I sure know how to Lovegood!

I know we're not in Professor Flitwick's class, but you still are charming.

My love for you burns like a dying phoenix.

Being without you is like being afflicted with the Cruciatus Curse.

Hagrid's not the only giant on campus, if you know what I mean.

Your name must be Severus Severus, because you're making my prince full blood.

Interested in making some magic together? My wand is at the ready.

I must have had some Felix Felicis, because I think I'm about to get lucky.

Without you I feel like I'm in Azkaban and dementors are sucking away my soul. I've been whomping my willow thinking about you.

If I were to look into the Mirror of Erised, I'd see the two of us together.

Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?

You are like a bottle of Skele-Gro: You're growing me a bone.

You must be magical, because I've fallen under your spell.

I'm not wearing an invisibility cloak, but do you think I could still visit your restricted section tonight?

I'd like to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets.

You don't even have to say "Luminos Maxima" to turn me on!

Have you been using the Petrificus Totalus spell? Because you've made me stiff.

Whaddya say you and me go look for the Room of Requirement?

Do you want to head to the Shrieking Shack? We could do some shrieking of our own.

Are you using the Confundus charm or are you just naturally mind blowing?

Come on, let's do it Hippogriff style!

One night with me and they'll be calling you MOANING Myrtle.

You can have the portkey to my heart.

Come here, I'll show you a REAL Patronus.

I'd let you handle my wand any day!

Is that a wand in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

ect. ect.

[–]ZeMoose 66 points67 points ago

"I put on my robe and wizard hat."

[–]foobiscuit 23 points24 points ago

For the people who have not seen it though I have no idea how you couldn't have. Enjoy!

[–]Polite_Insults 2 points3 points ago

I hadn't but I'm so glad you posted the link.

[–]_Harley_Quinn_ 2 points3 points ago

I had seen it, but it's no less funny the second time around.

[–]akimbojack 61 points62 points ago

You posted 27 of these with etc.'s at the end. Which leads me to assume that there are more. Please tell me you got these from a website. If you made them up....

[–]arbores 47 points48 points ago

If only there were a way to search for text on the internet

[–]BitchinTechnology 3 points4 points ago

If someone made some type of engine for text based search they would be a very very rich man

[–]mems_account 58 points59 points ago

You are required to learn all 50 of them to join the club. Almost everyone on here knows them.

[–]bmittman 20 points21 points ago

http://www.pickuplinesgalore.com/harrypotter.html

[–]American_Assface 21 points22 points ago

I know something else that's 11 and 3 quarters inches long.

[–]teamintleaves 13 points14 points ago

I always used the number 9 and 3/4 for that, but I think 11 and 3/4 is more... Impressive.

[–]billdietrich1 0 points1 point ago

No, he posted with "ect. ect." at the end. I think he was choking at how lame most of them are.

[–]LookInTheDog 0 points1 point ago

Ectoplasm, ectoplasm.

load more comments (1 reply)

    [–]thowawg 0 points1 point ago

    correction: ect ect ect(oplasm)

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

    I am going to a party with a cute girl obsessed with harry potter, i need to memorize these.

    [–]Spooky_Electric 3 points4 points ago

    You forgot the classic

    "My name is Harry Potter, want to fuck?"

    [–]queenweasley 3 points4 points ago

    Please post this in r/HarryPotter...I would but I'm on my phone and honestly have no idea how to crosspost links or comments. But this is amazing and they would love it!

    [–]FatZombieMama 0 points1 point ago

    They MUST have seen it already.

    [–]queenweasley 0 points1 point ago

    It's reddit, who doesn't love a repost?

    [–]divided_by_0 1 point2 points ago

    Saved

    [–]scync 1 point2 points ago

    i'm using these one day...

    [–]Wangjohnson 1 point2 points ago

    I have a pensieve, wanna make a memory?

    [–]i_did_not_enjoy_that 0 points1 point ago

    It's "Lumos"! Sorry, it bugged me.

    [–]bhyder 0 points1 point ago

    I'd whomp your willow ;)

    load more comments (2 replies)

      [–]SchecterClassic 69 points70 points ago

      "Hey baby, I'm Harry Potter. Wanna fuck?"

      Gets 'em every time.

      [–]_shadrach_ 33 points34 points ago

      I bet he doesn't even need words

      [–]Captain_Generous 1 point2 points ago

      What is that from?

      [–]_shadrach_ 6 points7 points ago

      the tv show Extras

      [–]Maxamillionaire 6 points7 points ago

      Extras. A British comedy program that Ricky Gervais did after The Office. It is hilarious and you owe it to yourself to watch it. Here, let me get you hooked.

      [–]duguamik 0 points1 point ago

      The ending of that scene kills me with funny.

      [–]Dayyan1212 19 points20 points ago

      I used this once. It went well.

      [–]ldv113 26 points27 points ago

      Wanna meet my three-headed dog? I call him fluffy

      [–]coleosis1414 95 points96 points ago

      "Do you play Quidditch? Because I'd like to have sex with you."

      [–]lxiir 14 points15 points ago

      "Are you a wizard? Because I'd like to descendo your pants."

      [–][deleted] ago

      [deleted]

      [–]AAlexanderK 19 points20 points ago

      "I'm a millionaire movie star, why are your pants still on?"

      [–]I_Just_Blue_Myself 22 points23 points ago

      "I'll make you forget that epilogue ever happened."

      Edit: With sex

      [–]Rhakan 8 points9 points ago

      "Hey, I'm famous. Let's have sex and then I'll leave and never see you again"

      "OK"

      [–]frootee 22 points23 points ago

      "Hey, do you speak parcel tongue? 'Cause baby, you're making my snake go up.."

      [–]half_evil_kat 94 points95 points ago

      Ah yes, Parcel Tongue, the secret language of postal workers. As opposed to Parseltongue.

      [–]frootee 19 points20 points ago

      Upvote for taking my ignorance and making it hilarious.

      [–]half_evil_kat 5 points6 points ago

      curtsy

      [–]abovepostisfunnier 2 points3 points ago

      Spit out hot chocolate. Damn you for the intense lols.

      load more comments (5 replies)

        [–]SweetAlmighty 0 points1 point ago

        I could only imagine that it would be something along these lines.

        [–]Crim91 166 points167 points ago

        So I just have to be really famous to be confident?

        Well fuck.

        [–]FarmerTedd 42 points43 points ago

        Sorry, that's how it works.

        [–]FatTristan 16 points17 points ago

        No, you can also be incredibly handsome.

        [–]HandsomeAssNigga 34 points35 points ago

        I can confirm this.

        [–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

        As a fairly handsome guy with zero confidence, http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5w3sjeffO1qen9dmo2_500.gif

        [–]patefoisgras 5 points6 points ago

        As was stated, being handsome is a necessary condition for being confident, not sufficient.

        Propositional logic truth table:

        Confident -> Handsome
     T    T     T
     T    F     F
     F    T     T (*) You are here
     F    T     F

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

        Now place me where very pretty beautiful women have approached me and actively talked to me, and I've been too scared to talk back, resulting in me still being a virgin.

        And GO.

        [–]Dikkop81 1 point2 points ago

        If it's any comfort to you, you're not alone. I'm in the exact same situation.

        [–]patefoisgras 0 points1 point ago

        /r/r4r ?

        [–]dijitalia 2 points3 points ago

        You probably just aren't very handsome. How's that for your confidence?

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

        It just means that pretty women that have given me their numbers are scraping from the bottom of the barrel. My confidence is zero. Only place to go is up!

        [–]fELLAbUSTA 0 points1 point ago

        so pretty girls are giving you their phone numbers but you're still a virgin? You should text all of them at the same time 'hey beautiful!' and see what happens.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

        That usually requires I meet them at some time in the future. Every time I've tried to respond to a woman's advances have all been vagina-drying moments of failure.

        [–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

        You can be hideously ugly and have great self esteem.

        Just ask Steve Bushemi.

        [–]FappingAsYouReadThis 2 points3 points ago

        And humble, too.

        edit: Aw, now this comment appears to make no sense. :( You and your damn *.

        [–]lightsandcandy 0 points1 point ago

        Shut the fuck up, donny.

        [–]Rhakan 20 points21 points ago

        I've always had a problem with famous people promoting the whole "believe in yourself and you can achieve anything/gain confidence/pick up women". It's not like they have to try incredibly hard to accomplish any of that. That's not to say that they're wrong or that they're being disingenuous, but I have a hard time "being awesome" when I'm not already a major celebrity.

        [–]GARBAGEDAYY 8 points9 points ago

        You know it's harder for them in different ways. They can't stop people recognising them and behaving a certain way because of their fame. Which is fine if all you want is sex but what about when a celebrity decides they want a partner and kids. How do they tell the difference between a starstruck fan and someone in it for the long run? Then there's the whole lack of privacy thing, "We finally found time in my hectic shedule to go on a date! Just ignore the 50 men outside yelling and taking 600 pictures of us a minute, honey". People will Google all your dates, stalk them even when they're not with you, magazines will write lies about you cheating on them and all the big moments of your relationship are met with either a price tag or an assumption about the strength of the relationship. To top it all off, when they're divorced, alone, up to their necks in payments and someone asks how they're going, if the celebrity so much as thinks about complaining they're met with "But you've got it all!"

        [–]pakattak 1 point2 points ago

        Yeah, I feel for celebrities. Actors (at least the good ones) do what they do because they love it. It's not their fault that they're so good at their job that they can make a lot of money from it.

        If making a lot of money doing something I love (graphic design/illustration) suddenly made me lose my private life, I'd be pretty depressed.

        [–]OmNamahShivaya 17 points18 points ago

        But maybe they got to where they are by following their own advice. Ever think of that?

        [–]jKnox 26 points27 points ago

        no

        [–]OmNamahShivaya 3 points4 points ago

        no what?

        [–]wooden_spoon 10 points11 points ago

        Yes.

        [–]Crim91 18 points19 points ago

        I don't like this game.

        [–]Jackstick 1 point2 points ago

        ...maybe?

        [–]Flash_Johnson 0 points1 point ago

        no

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

        How are you not awesome already?

        I think you're pretty fuckin' great. I don't even know you man and I think you should totally be proud of yourself.

        [–]Jackstick 1 point2 points ago

        I hope you get struck by a gamma-ray burst.

        [–]apajx 1 point2 points ago

        Or delusional.

        [–]im_only_a_dolphin 1 point2 points ago

        Or a wizard.

        [–]the_walrus_was_ringo 0 points1 point ago

        ...or a wizard, 'arry.

        [–]catharso 1 point2 points ago

        You got that wrong. It's not about fame. It's about beeing a very special wizard.

        [–]canteloupy[!] 1 point2 points ago

        Or you can take up smoking. I hear that's what all the cool kids do.

        [–]skepticalDragon 0 points1 point ago

        Try having a large penis. That always works for me.

        [–]darkbrethren 32 points33 points ago

        Because nobody has said it yet, Daniel Radcliffe is about 5'5"

        [–]kakemot 24 points25 points ago

        That is the size of my dick in inches

        [–]cut_the_sass_please 5 points6 points ago

        This cannot be a coincidence. What does it mean?

        [–]GOATSQUIRTS 23 points24 points ago

        This guy has a 65 inch cock

        [–]Han_soliloquy 7 points8 points ago

        I don't know why, but the bluntness of this comment made me laugh till I snorted.

        Edit: I accidentally a letter.

        [–]sexgott 12 points13 points ago

        1,65 m

        [–]AaronPetykowski 3 points4 points ago

        This was the entire reason I was looking in the comments. Thank you.

        [–]TheAgeOfTomfoolery 0 points1 point ago

        Thanks for saving me a wikipedia trip

        [–]holodog 32 points33 points ago

        "And now for a delicious fag."

        [–]BreadstickNinja 11 points12 points ago

        Aren't they all?

        [–]weewolf 1 point2 points ago

        Bears are kind of scary.

        [–]Lecks 0 points1 point ago

        Only if you start feeding them.

        [–]C4l2LY 62 points63 points ago

        sadly he never said this.

        [–]wes337 111 points112 points ago

        "I can confirm Daniel Radcliffe said this." - Abraham Lincoln

        [–]RewindHoodie 62 points63 points ago

        "Bitches be trippin'." -Aristotle

        [–]notwithstupid 25 points26 points ago

        "Bitches ain't shit but hoes n tricks" - Napoleon Bonaparte

        [–]smokecat20 18 points19 points ago

        "Fuck ya'll" - Tyrannosaurus Rex

        [–]throwAwayObama 3 points4 points ago

        this is where i lost it

        [–]Radicality_ 16 points17 points ago

        I hope you find it!

        [–]chatzimcfee 1 point2 points ago

        "oh you" -Jesus

        [–]Gravyness 11 points12 points ago

        That's a lie, there's no first quotemark.

        [–]SeekIbiza 18 points19 points ago

        "Ain't that a bitch" - Mahatma Gandhi

        [–][deleted] ago

        [deleted]

        [–]jsellout 4 points5 points ago

        happily he never said this.

        It is an extremely lame quote.

        [–]Gwohl 1 point2 points ago

        Isn't this a capture from Radcliffes appearance on Extras? I'm pretty sure he did say this...

        [–]JealousAmoeba 0 points1 point ago

        He did. I think it was a video for Funny or Die. I'd find the link but I'm on my mobile.

        [–]zpeed 0 points1 point ago

        Link

        [–]C4l2LY 0 points1 point ago

        did you even watch the link? he never says this quote in that funny or die video.

        [–]zpeed 0 points1 point ago

        No, I just wanted to provide the link since the guy said he couldn't do it from his mobile. :)

        [–]zXxxxxXxxxXxxxXz 148 points149 points ago

        This definitely came from your "things I've seen on reddit and will repost 3 months later when everyone forgets" folder, right?

        [–]Desolator001 57 points58 points ago

        Too soon.

        [–]weewolf 6 points7 points ago

        Too soon to repost, or too soon to mention the reposting post?

        [–]LORDJEW_VAN_CUNTFUCK 27 points28 points ago

        And nobody seems to care that it's completely fabricated.

        [–]WheatOcean[S] 28 points29 points ago

        Yes.

        [–]Ztiller 7 points8 points ago

        http://imgur.com/h4h8A

        [–]Roflkopt3r 0 points1 point ago

        I used to be self conscious about my karma, but then I thought, fuck that, swallow my reposts.

        [–]orangegluon 8 points9 points ago

        how to pick up chicks:

        1. groom yourself well
        2. be confident
        3. be harry potter
        4. ???
        5. profit

        [–]Beanz122 32 points33 points ago

        TIL Daniel Radcliffe smokes. I had no idea.

        [–]JakJakAttacks 20 points21 points ago

        They grow up so fast.

        [–]BreadstickNinja 26 points27 points ago

        When I see Emma Watson smoking a cigar while she stabs a hooker, I'll agree.

        [–]PenisFlyTrap 6 points7 points ago

        Time to pitch a new movie!

        [–]filthysize 13 points14 points ago

        Less surprising than the fact that he's a recovering alcoholic, really.

        [–]xelfer 7 points8 points ago

        you need to watch extras

        [–]Ateisti 0 points1 point ago

        TIL prophylactics are surprisingly durable.

        [–]nlsimpson 4 points5 points ago

        IIRC he smokes about a pack a day.

        [–]redgroupclan 5 points6 points ago

        Well, I guess he isn't a 12 year old just getting accepted into Hogwarts anymore...

        [–]loveshercoffee 0 points1 point ago

        I'm pretty sure I've seen that he does smoke but the pic is from Equus, in which his character smoked.

        [–]so_many_squids -1 points0 points ago

        Smoking is still really common in Europe.

        load more comments (1 reply)

          [–]CaptnAwesomeGuy 7 points8 points ago

          Source?

          [–]Ruckusleaf 4 points5 points ago

          I'm glad someone would take the time to give that cigarette a pep talk.

          [–]admiralgringo 10 points11 points ago

          I'm going to fuck you I'm Harry Potter.

          FTFY

          [–]louster200 0 points1 point ago

          That works, too.

          [–]apollodynamo 3 points4 points ago

          He and Elijah Wood are so awesome for the way they handle their fame. I love them both.

          [–]dontmutemeplz 14 points15 points ago

          At least he's not Edward Cullen.

          [–]R3divid3r 73 points74 points ago

          Cedric diggory**

          [–]LerithXanatos 4 points5 points ago

          He was awesome in Harry Potter.

          [–]Chiparoo 21 points22 points ago

          "I am not Elijah Wood. Signed, Daniel Radcliffe"

          [–]jakemyers7 8 points9 points ago

          Wilfred is amazing

          [–]GARBAGEDAYY 3 points4 points ago

          Robert Pattinson hates Edward Cullen.

          [–]Captain_Generous 3 points4 points ago

          Based on interviews, he actually seems like a really cool guy.

          load more comments (1 reply)

            [–]fogburner 2 points3 points ago

            I used to be Harry Potter. Now I'm Daniel Radcliffe and I smoke fags.

            [–]grimfel 2 points3 points ago

            "I used to be self conscious about being Harry Potter but then I thought, fuck that, I'm short enough to punch 'em right in the dick."

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

            Daniel Radcliffe puts the "rad" in Daniel Radcliffe

            [–]spunkyweazle 2 points3 points ago

            I tell myself that too. It doesn't really work as well.

            [–]Goldennugget81 4 points5 points ago

            I can't believe this hasn't been posted yet!

            Just go watch it, it's hilarious!

            [–]knirefnel 0 points1 point ago

            Came for this and was disappointed by how far I had to scroll down

            [–]BrandonSullivan 1 point2 points ago

            Sounds like something he woulda said in extras.

            [–]goswimmingly 1 point2 points ago

            REEP

            [–]nikniuq 1 point2 points ago

            Seems a strange thing for Frodo to say...

            [–]armedwithturtles 1 point2 points ago

            so to be more confident i need to be harry potter? brb turning into a british-wizard guy

            [–]TheLastPureOne 1 point2 points ago

            That solves HIS height issue....

            [–]pandasRAWR 1 point2 points ago

            He's not even that short!?

            [–]IIBlazerII 11 points12 points ago

            you seriously dont think 5'5'' is short?

            [–]pandasRAWR 5 points6 points ago

            eh, I guess he's shorter than I thought, but i'm 5'5" as well. could be shorter, I love his attitude about it though.

            [–]dn00 4 points5 points ago

            Hey, 5'5'' is taller than most Asian women.

            [–]mokr22 3 points4 points ago

            1.648 m (5 ft 5 in) 1.646 m (5 ft 5 in) 1.646 m (5 ft 5 in) 1.645 m (5 ft 5 in)

            U.S. France Sweden Australia

            [–]CheezeWhiz090696 0 points1 point ago

            TIL you're tallest in the United States.

            [–]artydecor 2 points3 points ago

            5'5" is taller than most American (average 5 ft 4 in) and British (5 ft 3 1⁄2 in) women as well.

            Source

            load more comments (2 replies)

              [–]SeekIbiza 0 points1 point ago

              Let the man dream

              [–]XerxesDGreat 0 points1 point ago

              ...and I thought Tom Cruise was short...

              [–]GARBAGEDAYY 1 point2 points ago

              Was standing right near him at an awards show once, he's crazy short.

              [–]Condiment 0 points1 point ago

              TIL Daniel Radcliff is only 5'5", do they do some movie magic to make him seem taller?

              [–]GARBAGEDAYY 1 point2 points ago

              Usually short actors have to stand on boxes during dialogue scenes with other actors so they're level with each other.

              [–]eleno 0 points1 point ago

              That kind of explains why he had a problem with his height, it must suck to be the only one standing in boxes all the time.

              [–]Shamwow22 0 points1 point ago

              Productions are known to average out people's heights on camera in order to make height differences less distracting. A lot of shorter actors are known for wearing shoe lifts, for example.

              [–]Stoutpants 0 points1 point ago

              I used to be self-conscious about my height. Then I remembered I'm 5'6" and 122lbs. FML.

              [–]The_Boogueyman 0 points1 point ago

              Every time i'll get an advice, i'll just have to say "fuck that, i'm Harry Potter"

              [–]F5_supermonkey 0 points1 point ago

              well, i mean he IS 5'5". i mean, shit, emma is 5'6".

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

              He'll start going bald and then go back to being self conscious.

              [–]SyxEight 0 points1 point ago

              So all short guys who aren't harry potter, should feel bad about their height.

              [–]AquaNeito 0 points1 point ago

              i used to be self conscious about my height, fuck that nobody cares BLAHBLAHNALH

              [–]ModernRetroMan 0 points1 point ago

              I wasn't too self-conscious about my height until I hit my head to a door frame.

              [–]jhoogs 0 points1 point ago

              I used to be self conscious about reposts but then I realized... This is reddit.

              [–]markman71122 0 points1 point ago

              A fair argument.

              [–]ZomboRobo 0 points1 point ago

              Congrats on your quadruple-double repost

              [–]CapnScumbone 0 points1 point ago

              so that settles his height issues. now he can drive women away with his pack-a-day cigarette addiction.

              [–]AmboC 0 points1 point ago

              OP: "I thought I'd post some original content, but then I thought, Repost! This is reddit."

              [–]odetteful 0 points1 point ago

              Worthy of r/ladyboners? I think so.

              [–]chingyduster 0 points1 point ago

              Smoking= Still greasy and dirty no matter who endorses it.

              [–]Kahnza 1 point2 points ago

              Harry NOOOOOOO tobacco is terrible. :(

              [–]magic_is_might 0 points1 point ago

              Except for the fact that he never said this.

              [–]Quas36Oh -2 points-1 points ago

              Reddit's beginning to make me wish I could downvote more then once.

              [–]NickelPickler 10 points11 points ago

              We should be able to spend our earned karma to buy extra upvotes and downvotes.

              [–]CCXII 9 points10 points ago

              I want to be Scrooge McDuck and swim through all of my karma. I will never spend a dime of it!

              [–]kakemot 1 point2 points ago

              "Than". Here are 5 downvotes. Do you still wish it?

              [–]mangolove 0 points1 point ago

              5 points from kakemot. Periods go inside the quotation marks.

              [–]kakemot 0 points1 point ago

              I don't even want to know what you did last night...

              [–]Quas36Oh 0 points1 point ago

              Hahaha.

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

              I wish I could do that. "Wait, why should I be insecure? I'm Harry fucking Potter."

              [–]graknoir 0 points1 point ago

              Maybe you can't be harry fucking potter, but you could be fucking harry potter; that outta give you a shot of confidence

              [–]Sengura 0 points1 point ago

              Good to see the monthly quota of that pic hitting the front page was met. Now, I won't have to see it again until August.

              [–]roodninja 0 points1 point ago

              That's not really 'self' confidence.

              [–]Mitz510 0 points1 point ago

              He played a nerd with magic powers not fucking Tony Montana calm down.

              [–]Ramseyboy 0 points1 point ago

              I think he's more badass than you know

              [–]asshatnowhere 0 points1 point ago

              'the problem about quotes on the internet is that you can never be sure who really said them.' - Abraham Lincoln

              [–]CosmicPube 0 points1 point ago

              Has he come out of the closet yet?

              [–]VicYesterday -1 points0 points ago

              Daniel Radcliffe is my hero. So proud to be short because of him.

              [–]JediDwag -1 points0 points ago

              haha I hope that is an actual quote, that is awesome. :-P

              [–]lil_squeeb -1 points0 points ago

              Stop reposting this shit

              load more comments (50 replies)

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