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all 108 comments

[–]MonksterAZ 197 points198 points ago

I've done this (fortunately with much less disastrous results)! My son was in his play pen crying, and normally when he cries picking him up and tossing him in the air was a good quick resolution, as he was really just looking for attention most of the time. I owned my own store, and his play pen was behind the counter, and I was half distracted doing inventory. I picked him up and in one fell swoop turned, saying "hey little man... alley OOP!" and tossed him up in the air... right into the ceiling fan I forgot was there.

Fortunately I tossed him so that his back was the highest point, not his head. There was a distinct change of sound from "WOOSH WOOSH WOOSH WOOTHUD thudthudthudthud" and then down he came. Fortunately the fan was weak(?) enough that the end result was merely a surprised baby who felt like he got a magic sky burping attack.

Still, I felt like the worst parent in the world.

[–]acog 27 points28 points ago

[–]kg333 4 points5 points ago

...Why the hell did he leap into the fan? I thought he was going to try to ninja reach through it.

I call shenanigans.

[–]acog 3 points4 points ago

I agree, it seems so bizarre that it must have been staged. Although why he would voluntarily allow himself to get clobbered in the head by that fan is beyond me. Even knowing that it must have been intentional, I still laugh so hard I can't breathe every time I watch it. The contrast between his confident proclamation at the beginning to the gigantic BONNNNG when it hits and then his pathetic whimpering.... Oh man, it kills me.

[–]Pimmelman 1 point2 points ago

here is the original. there are some followup clips on his channel. He is one crazy bastard. :)

enjoy!

[–]Wrexem 3 points4 points ago

I saw this a few months ago, the people in my office thought I had gone insane I was laughing so hard.

[–]Breathing_Balls 82 points83 points ago

More importantly, did the fan pull through?

[–]MonksterAZ 105 points106 points ago

Zero physical damage to the fan. I can't comment on the fan's emotional state though; I suppose for the fan it was an equally shocking experience.

[–]neodiogenes 35 points36 points ago

I can always appreciate Reddit's laser focus on the critical but unmentioned aspects of any story.

[–]Themiffins 6 points7 points ago

I'd like to think your fan was happy for some physical contact since his installation.

[–]blore40 6 points7 points ago

Fan to food processor: "Dude, how do you do it day in and day out?"

[–]SkyWulf 5 points6 points ago

"I get drunk as fuck from the mixers they make with me"

[–]shroomtat 0 points1 point ago

O thank god

[–]pdmcmahon 7 points8 points ago

I laughed out loud for the first time today, then quickly realized I'm going to hell for it.

[–]Slow_to_Speak 0 points1 point ago

It's okay. It was the "WOOTHUD" that got me.

[–]pedropants 10 points11 points ago

"Magic sky burping attack" is officially my favorite thing to come out of the internet today.

[–]SkyWulf 0 points1 point ago

Awesome band name, too.

[–]prophetjohn 3 points4 points ago

I almost did this to my niece once and I felt like a similar failure of an adult.

[–]cyale4 2 points3 points ago

I've been hit with a ceiling fan several times (I slept on the top bunk growing up and there was a ceiling fan at the foot of the bed), and it really never hurt. It's pretty much made to do minimal damage upon impact, I'd assume. It stops really quickly and the wood is so light that it doesn't hurt much.

[–]MonksterAZ 1 point2 points ago

Wow, that reminds me, that same son had bunk beds and slit his head open by getting hit by the ceiling fan in his room. Not deep, but head wounds always bleed like mad. My wife freaked out and took apart the bunk beds immediately. Obviously some strange delayed fate there. Revenge of the ceiling fans!

[–]LittleLella 2 points3 points ago

I did that while babysitting once. If you felt bad throwing your own child into a fan, try someone else's. I was sure they would never ask me to come back again!

[–]rexical 0 points1 point ago

I am not sure if this is true but a friend of mine in the airforce said it happened before when a helicopter pilot threw his baby up near the craft while the rotor was still spinning slowly to a stop. The rotor blade hit the baby's head and cracked it open. Gets me paranoid when i see parents lifting their kids high up under a ceiling fan.

[–]ESJ 0 points1 point ago

"Magic Sky Burping Attack" would be a great name for a band.

[–]sirkingsleyz -1 points0 points ago

"Don't worry my Parents did that all the time with me and I hit my head and look how great I am #yolo"-9gagers

[–]afr126 62 points63 points ago

ah, so they do blend.

[–]NiteShadeX2 59 points60 points ago

Baby smoke, dont breathe this.

[–]irawwwr 8 points9 points ago

Of course they do, where do you think I get my daily smoothies?

-An Atheist.

[–]rouge_sheep 0 points1 point ago

Came to comments to say I nearly spat tea all over my monitor; Read your comment and nearly did it again.

[–]sk12345 50 points51 points ago

'Honey I minced the kids'

[–]jonredditshaft 23 points24 points ago

Took me a second, but I chuckled a guilty chuckle when I got it...

[–]Nohare 8 points9 points ago

I live in DC and still don't have power at my apartment from the storm that passed through 2 days ago so I'm just sitting in a dining hall at a local university. They're hosting some kind of baby walk thing today so the place is flooded with mothers and their babies. They were asking if I was okay because I was laughing so hard and wanted to know what it was. This is how I die.

[–]ozdgk 36 points37 points ago

i think i laughed more than i should have

[–]TheLAWLBOT 26 points27 points ago

The look on his face is drawn perfectly. That's what gets me

[–]jdawggey 0 points1 point ago

I literally burst out laughing. It's just so absurd. My mom is making me feel guilty, however.

[–]pigonthewing -3 points-2 points ago

no you didn't. You really should be laughing more.

[–]SoggyCheez 3 points4 points ago

Fun! Fun! F--....

[–]qnaqna321 4 points5 points ago

-UCK!

[–]sharpe1178 3 points4 points ago

"Honey, where is the baby?" "Um....over there, over there, and up there...."

[–]Mitsuna 25 points26 points ago

That ruined my day

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]NDdownVOTED 1 point2 points ago

oh my god what's that!?!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]NDdownVOTED 0 points1 point ago

i know you threw that dookie bag

[–]Gooberpatrol66 2 points3 points ago

Something about this reminds me of a Far Side comic.

[–]Boilerjuan 1 point2 points ago

This made my fucking day

[–]snidecomment69 1 point2 points ago

This made me lol so fucking hard. I was on the phone with someone and now they think I'm crazy.

[–]m0h3k4n 1 point2 points ago

The Ranchochupacabra!

[–]Buff_N_Sexy 1 point2 points ago

It's never too late for an abortion

[–]weinerjohnny 1 point2 points ago

Right to choose.

[–]wotererio 1 point2 points ago

Blanket let's play!

[–]sftktysluttykty 1 point2 points ago

As a parent, I was mortified...As a Redditor I laughed til I cried.

[–]Hatweed 1 point2 points ago

And I just find myself thinking: "They make ceiling fans powerful enough to liquify a baby?" I think I need some mental help.

[–]DrPingu76 3 points4 points ago

I don't think I'd get on with anyone who didn't chuckle at this. A sweeping statement I know, but still true.

[–]r121 4 points5 points ago

I can chuckle at things like that as long as I don't think about it too much.

[–]garygnu 3 points4 points ago

Then you'd hate this Far Side cartoon.

[–]c3llist9 1 point2 points ago

I think you misread his comment.

[–]garygnu 0 points1 point ago

Yup, missed the "didn't" in there.

[–]FelchBomb 5 points6 points ago

[–]IAmBobSacamano 2 points3 points ago

It makes me happy to know that some redditors know the difference between /wtf and /funny. Thanks op. btw I'm not being sarcastic.

[–]lst2 -1 points0 points ago

Dead baby jokes are a sadistically amusing mixture of both.

[–]Shadow250000 1 point2 points ago

[–]Linkirvana 1 point2 points ago

I think the look on the guy's face is perfect

[–]LiveWithFear 1 point2 points ago

That's a strong ass fan.

[–]FishBonePendant 0 points1 point ago

[–]noNoParts 0 points1 point ago

Lucky dad got off easy.

[–]compmstr 0 points1 point ago

I have a scar on my head from this happening, we had a metal-bladed ceiling fan at the time, I remember seeing it under the house (I'm assuming they replaced it with the wood-bladed one after this happened)

[–]sleepyfreshman 0 points1 point ago

"What happens when shit hits the fan?" "I have no idea, but I know what happens when the little shit hits the fan." shows this picture

I'm definitely am going to hell.

[–]learntofart 0 points1 point ago

The peeps down at /r/childfree might dig this.

[–]kill4urmom 0 points1 point ago

Higher daddy hig-BZZZZZX

[–]geekaphobia 0 points1 point ago

WILL IT BLEND??

[–]declareidarenot 0 points1 point ago

This is the only thing to make me laugh today. So, thanks for the laugh and also confirming I probably should never have kids.

[–]MrGoldenVoice 0 points1 point ago

OHGODWHY.jpg

[–]FloydMcScroops 0 points1 point ago

Funny story. I have a dent in my forehead from my father doing the same thing. You actually don't disintegrate, you just cry a lot.

[–]NothingtodohereOGW 0 points1 point ago

Yet another picture that would be perfect for /r/childfree

[–]suspen_sion 0 points1 point ago

Does this remind anyone else of the workaholics episode that recently aired?

http://imgur.com/a/WcN6o

[–]zushini 0 points1 point ago

reminds me of Fandeath

[–]Tr0user 0 points1 point ago

Where is the carcass?

[–]ChrisQF 0 points1 point ago

this made me laugh rather uproariously

[–]elijahcoleschneider1 0 points1 point ago

that "oh shit" moment

[–]SYKoff 0 points1 point ago

I had this happen to me. My dad put me on his shoulders and walked underneath the fan during a family get together. knocked me the fuck out.

[–]USMCEvan 0 points1 point ago

What's funnier than a dead baby swinging from a ceiling fan?

The noise it makes when you stop it with a shovel.

[–]ch00nz 0 points1 point ago

This actually happened to me when i was an infant. Staying at my grandparents my dad was throwing up in the air and my forehead took a good smack from the ceiling fan. My grandpa removed the fan until my siblings and I were all grown up.

Think I still have a scar from it on my hairline

[–]ImmatureIntellect 0 points1 point ago

Oh that took me way too long to figure out haha!

[–]roadkillcannibal 0 points1 point ago

Will it blend?

[–]markman71122 0 points1 point ago

Extremely terrifying derp.

[–]JayDecay 0 points1 point ago

My mom actually knew someone who killed their baby that way.

[–]deadlynoah -4 points-3 points ago

r/wtf

[–]swordof1000truths -3 points-2 points ago

The shit hit the fan.

[–]ChickenChasah -4 points-3 points ago

I'm still laughing at this so fucking hard... You get ALL the upvotes

[–]HiVoltRock -2 points-1 points ago

"Hey, what's with all the red? Is that a crib...oh... HA!"

[–]SuperHorribleGaming -1 points0 points ago

That's messed up.

[–]Ihateyourdick -1 points0 points ago

He gusta.

[–]KlubDogg -1 points0 points ago

asshole! now were all going to hell! :)

[–]ImTheBanker -1 points0 points ago

That's just a bit fucked up

[–]prappl93 -1 points0 points ago

This looks like an "acually is dolan" instance...

[–]inuyome1008 -1 points0 points ago

That's enough internet for today...

[–]v3n0mat3 -3 points-2 points ago

We're all going to Hell for shit like this.

[–]SweetNeo85 -2 points-1 points ago

If there was a ceiling fan that spun fast enough to mince-up a baby, I'm thinking the roof would practically be lifting off from the house from the lift generated, not to mention the unbelievable noise and wind in the room.

[–]onedavester -2 points-1 points ago

nsfl lol

[–]LegenD00M -2 points-1 points ago

As an atheist, what a waste.

[–]gaminggeek12 -2 points-1 points ago

WHY IS THIS FUNNY!?

[–]infinity_times_two -5 points-4 points ago

This should be in WTF!