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top 200 commentsshow all 387

[–]itwasthemilitary 467 points468 points ago

I love how spiderman has a picture of spiderman on his wall

[–]wilu 251 points252 points ago

[–]davidisaboss 63 points64 points ago

[–]cdp1193 117 points118 points ago

[–]ShutUpAboutTheSun 82 points83 points ago

[–]loldan 38 points39 points ago

I had to zoom in and make sure that wasn't Spiderman in the fireplace.

[–]FalseFactsOrg 14 points15 points ago

zoom in and enhance

[–]theultimatepixel 10 points11 points ago

Enhance. Enhance. Enhance.

[–]usclone 2 points3 points ago

Crime solved!

[–]dulcislol 1 point2 points ago

enhance more..

[–]itsoktobetakei 2 points3 points ago

meta colbert!

[–]Qlue 19 points20 points ago

Narcissistic spiderman is narcissistic.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

[–]Had2ChangeMyUsername 76 points77 points ago

For some reason that's what made me laugh the most...

[–]waxywax 24 points25 points ago

remind anyone of this?

[–]itskieran 4 points5 points ago

Like father, like son

[–]ZeboTheClown 1 point2 points ago

http://www.reynholm.co.uk/images/douglas.jpg

For those of you who don't watch this fantastic show (The IT Crowd, it can be found on netflix), this picture is the guy in waxywax's picture's son and it was put up after the son took over the company

[–]I_Think_Alot 9 points10 points ago

What if it's Spiderman spying on himself masturbating?

[–]FortuneCookieguy 39 points40 points ago

What, is spiderman suppose to have a picture of batman on his wall? Comon!!

[–]oracle989 53 points54 points ago

You think the guy in the $3,000 spideysuit is gonna put a picture of Batman on his wall?

[–]MisterDeclan 25 points26 points ago

Come on!

[–]durhurr 11 points12 points ago

[–]blackoak365 7 points8 points ago

I just lost yet another hour because of that link

[–]Fhajad 1 point2 points ago

Fuck I shoulda known what I was clicking on.

Time to re-watch.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

I'm baman! I'm Piderman! We're best friends!

[–]brussels4breakfast 3 points4 points ago

Do you mean to say you don't have photos of yourself on all of your walls?

[–]Logue1021 6 points7 points ago

Bye spiderman!

[–]bzdelta 3 points4 points ago

Bye, Marbles!

[–]warpaint 1 point2 points ago

Narcissism.

[–]kthanx 1 point2 points ago

Well, he does work as a photographer.

[–]Stringy217 313 points314 points ago

I think it's more that people want you to think they have interesting social lives when they're just sat there masturbating with the rest of us.

[–]PENGUINS_SNORT_COKE[S] 171 points172 points ago

Facebook: life embellisher

[–]SpaceCamper3 20 points21 points ago

The only time I update Facebook is after the one cool thing I did all week/month. And I tag EVERYONE who was there.

[–]Deathwish_Drang 49 points50 points ago

you bring new meaning to the word happy feet

[–]KingToasty 24 points25 points ago

That's two words.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]ihaveagianthead 16 points17 points ago

Don't forget to take a picture of the food!

[–]BIG_TONY_TALK 16 points17 points ago

I'm a foodie because I eat so much! LOL!

[–]ihaveagianthead 1 point2 points ago

Wait! Wait! Let me take a bite of this cheeseburger before I take a picture of it, that way it looks even more appetizing!

[–]PC-Bjorn 1 point2 points ago

Look at me! I eat every day!

[–]asombrosa 27 points28 points ago

That's how I know it's all an illusion. When I'm really out having a good time, I don't think to "check in" or take forced BFFz photos for instagram or whatever.

[–]runs-with-scissors 19 points20 points ago

Don't forget to have a drink in your hand! In. Every. Pic. Ever.

[–]BringTheYoutube 9 points10 points ago

Don't forget to use a period! After. Every. Word.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

And write like this. "OH EM GEEEEEE WE R HUBING SOOOOO MVCH FUN!!!! XD TROLOLO! FUN WITH MAH SLUTSSSS"

That's what the people on my newsfeed type like. Oh and they all glorify underage drinking and risking others lives by drink driving and speeding.

[–]skizatch 12 points13 points ago

And duck lips. Motha. Fuckin. Duck lips.

[–]Onlychoice 10 points11 points ago

"I'm in a shoe store."

[–]AdmiralEO 1 point2 points ago

"WERE TRYING ON HATS IN TEH STOAR! LOL!"

[–]marquizzo 28 points29 points ago

You lucky guys. Most of my Facebook feed has turned into Reddit one-liners from the previous day.

[–]asombrosa 15 points16 points ago

*previous month

[–]AdmiralEO 8 points9 points ago

I have one guy who shares 9gag photos 5 times a day.

[–]BlackZeppelin 1 point2 points ago

You and I must have a mutual friend.

[–]thestairway67 95 points96 points ago

My ex-girlfriend is at the beach with a bunch of our old friends... So, everytime I log onto facebook I see that.... then I masturbate to her friends in bikinis. Revenge is sweet.

[–]lulzbanana 76 points77 points ago

You sir, win at life. Or lose, I'm not really sure. But at least you're masturbating!

[–]thestairway67 33 points34 points ago

The ambiguity mystifies me daily.. So, I masturbate more.

[–]redd_itch 24 points25 points ago

When in doubt, knock one out.

[–]SDForce 1 point2 points ago

This is a good life lesson actually

[–]What_the_f_mate 1 point2 points ago

Never heard this before. New life motto

[–]qqqsimmons 3 points4 points ago

[–]sturg1dj 1 point2 points ago

how dare you use that great man to support your filth...hehe

[–]BlackZeppelin 1 point2 points ago

If you're masturbating you're probably not doing a whole lotta winning.

Source: Masturbator who's not currently winning.

[–]setzer_ 20 points21 points ago

Am I the only one who deletes their ex-gf's off facebook ? every single one.

[–]dongpal 47 points48 points ago

Because we have so many.

[–]ihaveagianthead 11 points12 points ago

Then I'd only have 17 friends, and my fragile ego can't handle that.

[–]thestairway67 4 points5 points ago

I really should have... It sucks to see.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

I just make them invisible in my newsfeed. I don't want to be reminded of their existence, but having an extra social contact out there can't hurt.

[–]hobbers 4 points5 points ago

Delete all the way. Last thing I want to see is her grinding up against some random dude in yet another alcohol-fueled friday night club binge. I've got her email if I ever need it.

[–]redd_itch 2 points3 points ago

You delete them, then they are mysteriously added back as a friend 2 years later by Facebook. True story!

[–]Immynimmy 4 points5 points ago

I don't think you understand what revenge is my friend. But good on you.

[–]badler1 11 points12 points ago

I wanted to up-vote you... I really did

[–]BagofGnomes 3 points4 points ago

I can confirm this. My sister would spend up to an hour or more depending on how much time she had, going through photos she took from a prior meeting or event with people, editing each one to make sure everyone didn't look bad. She would write way over exaggerated statuses, then brag about how many people compliment then walk around with some snob sense.

[–]CHEWS_OWN_FORESKIN 53 points54 points ago

I agree. Going out with people that have to take pictures for their facebook status updates are nauseating.

[–]Darkencypher 53 points54 points ago

Probably not as nauseating as chewing your own foreskin.

[–]CHEWS_OWN_FORESKIN 31 points32 points ago

its a bad habit..I'm considering picking up something more acceptable...like self mutilation

[–]Ajthib01 13 points14 points ago

Self mutilation? No no no, murder by gangrape is where it's at.

[–]craftyshrew 21 points22 points ago

I googled 'murder by gan grape'...

I'll show myself out.

[–]PC-Bjorn 1 point2 points ago

Murder by gran ate.

[–]bellatron 1 point2 points ago

Gang rape? Egypt is way too far.

[–]prettyawkwardpenguin 1 point2 points ago

And even then you have to be a female journalist.

[–]redd_itch 2 points3 points ago

Easy there tiger

[–]dmcnelly 1 point2 points ago

Buying an Xacto knife and giving yourself a dining room table circumcision?

[–]i_joined_4_this 6 points7 points ago

you'd be surprised.

[–]AlphaQ69 4 points5 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]CAW4 16 points17 points ago

Wow, all of you masturbating together

And I'm just sitting here masturbating by myself

[–]Ellemeno 5 points6 points ago

Come and join us!

[–]ThatSleepyGuy 6 points7 points ago

Reddit

[–]AslanMaskhadov 7 points8 points ago

exactly. facebook is like propaganda, to project the image you ant people to have of you

[–]lulzbanana 36 points37 points ago

OH NO NOT THE ANT PEOPLE!

[–]Shellface 6 points7 points ago

What is this? A view for ants?

[–]kleep 6 points7 points ago

Deleted facebook the other day. FEELS GOOD MAN.

[–]PC-Bjorn 1 point2 points ago

No, you didn't. The Facebook! It's still there. :(

[–]ShitforTits 1 point2 points ago

This.

Sad people wanting people to notice them pretending not to notice.

[–]jakeyjake247 96 points97 points ago

i came here for an epic spidey thread. and now im leaving disappointed.

disappointed...

[–]60s_Spiderman 64 points65 points ago

[–]ohmygord 38 points39 points ago

[–]Dubaus 16 points17 points ago

[–]Goldilocks123 6 points7 points ago

[–]mikachuu 7 points8 points ago

How old is this gif?

[–]niperwiper 2 points3 points ago

The internet, I'm fairly sure.

[–]25152118512351915135 26 points27 points ago

[–]syesha 39 points40 points ago

[–]whathefuckisreddit 1 point2 points ago

I was second by a total of 1 minute and 23 seconds. Damn.

[–]Dead_Rooster 18 points19 points ago

[–]whathefuckisreddit 19 points20 points ago

[–]60s_Spiderman 48 points49 points ago

[–]whathefuckisreddit 32 points33 points ago

[–]jakeyjake247 38 points39 points ago

[–]whathefuckisreddit 26 points27 points ago

[–]Wally_B 1 point2 points ago

you fucking missed being first by seconds. holy shit that's close.

[–]whathefuckisreddit 1 point2 points ago

GODDAMN!

[–]JamesBar 5 points6 points ago

Oh god I love spiderman threads.

[–]bozleh 1 point2 points ago

[–]gareththefirst 52 points53 points ago

At least all these girls with social lives also like to be social in very little clothes...

I guess this is where I leave.

[–]badler1 3 points4 points ago

Is that a picture of you on the wall?

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points ago

My facebook experience:

Wow, everyone is done with law/medical/business school and I'm just here masturbating...

[–]TakenakaHanbei 15 points16 points ago

[–]d_web_slinger 32 points33 points ago

I lay down when i masturbate

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

Sometimes I'll sit in the computer chair and then straighten myself out like a board, so I'm on a 90 degree angle. It hurts a bit, but I can hold it for about ten minutes, so it's all good, I only need ten minutes.

[–]Canadian_Man 13 points14 points ago

10 minutes? What else are you doing with all the extra down time?

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

That's how long it takes. Believe me, it sucks, and it's worse with sex. I've got a reputation that I can last for hours or that I am difficult to please, so they all try really hard to get me off, and all do and seem so proud of themselves. So desperate for my cock.

[–]Astrapsody 50 points51 points ago

[–]Zorrac 5 points6 points ago

That's cool, it's the opposite for me though.

[–]RUPTURED_ASSHOLE 8 points9 points ago

Masturbating and correcting your posture? Two birds with one stone!

[–]HvOnskerDu 6 points7 points ago

What bird were you trying to kill when you ruptured your asshole?

[–]RUPTURED_ASSHOLE 6 points7 points ago

Let's just say that falcons are not gentle creatures.

[–]ANUS_ODOR_INHALER 4 points5 points ago

[–]Deucy 2 points3 points ago

It's so much better.

[–]gunju11 11 points12 points ago

My Facebook feed is filled with "A girl is waiting to kill you if you don't repost"

[–]Uranax 12 points13 points ago

I thought only 12 year olds posted like that on FB. Must be som kind of first world pedofile problem...

[–]JEREMIAH_the_Kid 33 points34 points ago

I always wonder how good of a time they're really having if they're sitting on their phone.

Whenever I'm out, updating my status and shit like that is the last thing I'd think of

[–]teamfortressclassic 28 points29 points ago

[–]abstrusejoker 15 points16 points ago

It's kind of the opposite for me. I mean, i'm not pop shoving-it with a bass and shit in real life, but my absence on facebook makes it appear that I have no life at all.

Look people! I don't take pictures!

[–]FirstTimeWang 19 points20 points ago

Wow people have such interesting social lives

I never have that thought while looking at facebook.

[–]spaghetti_code 18 points19 points ago

Yeah it's more like "People seem to have nothing better to do than posting inane shite on fb".

[–]BeatlesForSale 12 points13 points ago

My thoughts tend to be

"This must have been what Hitler thought about the Jews..."

[–]BillCosby3D 2 points3 points ago

Are you by any chance, Irish?

[–]DoubleAxHandle 7 points8 points ago

[–]Xpertbot 5 points6 points ago

I used to love these in 4chan, but now i have nothing witty to say for karma whoring...

[–]bminus02 3 points4 points ago

I haven't updated my status in over a month. Then again I really havent left my house in over a month.

[–]Gooseballs 6 points7 points ago

[–]falteringplum64 25 points26 points ago

I have yet to find anyone with an interesting social life on Facebook.

[–]anubus72 14 points15 points ago

generally you don't "find" people on facebook, you meet them in real life and then add them on facebook

[–]zipzopzoobitybop 30 points31 points ago

You should make better (facebook) friends

[–]Jayross 10 points11 points ago

I have people taking photos from restaurants and hanging out. Seems like they are having fun.

[–]RyanFuller003 1 point2 points ago

Mine mostly consists of people posting photos of their kids these days.

Which is of course to say that they have no social lives, because they can never leave their homes.

[–]perfektstranger 1 point2 points ago

Sorry dude, this is totally your fault. You have built up an uninteresting group of friends and acquaintances.

[–]RJwhores 38 points39 points ago

a spiderman meme that is actually funny

[–]phallacies 13 points14 points ago

[–]Spelunkers 7 points8 points ago

[–]ThisWay27 2 points3 points ago

I'm not gonna stop anytime soon. *faps

[–]Ultraseamus 2 points3 points ago

Looks like his hands are resting on the table. This guy must be a pro.

[–]ihaveagianthead 1 point2 points ago

Spiders usually do have eight legs. We don't know what he has going on down there.

[–]Infamous_Rage 2 points3 points ago

Now I have a mental image of Spiderman masturbating. Thank you Reddit.

[–]Hotjazzsax 2 points3 points ago

why are you masturbating to Facebook

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

/r/nofap and you're just sitting there browsing Facebook. Somehow that would be even more sad.

[–]j0npau1 14 points15 points ago

Upvote for spelling "masturbating" correctly.

[–]CHEWS_OWN_FORESKIN 10 points11 points ago

Upvote for caring.

[–]lemonfreedom 13 points14 points ago

upvote for chewing own foreskin

[–]badler1 5 points6 points ago

Upvote for supporting the Lemon Revolution!

[–]Crim91 3 points4 points ago

Downvote for being bad.

[–]Bassmasta79 8 points9 points ago

/r/NoFap try it you might like what happens

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

There's no wincest here, why are you posting Spiderman?

[–]brachburton 1 point2 points ago

[–]heimdal77 1 point2 points ago

Don't knock it till you tried it!...... err wait..

[–]Solid_shit 1 point2 points ago

But, you don't even have a computer... how do you masturbate?

[–]Yoyoboy123 1 point2 points ago

"oh god look how hot she is!" fap fap fap

[–]Swaggerlisk 1 point2 points ago

Wow so it's not just me...

[–]Midas510 1 point2 points ago

11,638 redditors agree with this.

[–]Catnips_Featherbeef 1 point2 points ago

I always say that the only thing that people love more than actually doing things is knowing that other people know that they're doing something, and that they couldn't join. Oh gosh, I've gone cross-eyed.

[–]chinguatle 1 point2 points ago

way to kill a meme

[–]benzwaggy 1 point2 points ago

Wow all my friends can go on vacations and I'm just sitting here masturbating.

[–]st3dav 3 points4 points ago

Why do you masturbate in a Spiderman costume?

[–]Mixed-Signals 4 points5 points ago

For the tingling sensation of it embracing your skin. Not that I know this from personal experience.

[–]Maligoat 1 point2 points ago

Why spiderman?

[–]BIG_TONY_TALK 12 points13 points ago

Chronic webslinger.

[–]lt_hindu 1 point2 points ago

Gotta love summer!!!

When I saw my friend wearing her red bikini top at the beach and she kept talking about it. I almost blurted out yeah it looks good I jacked off to it once before....

I just mumbled "looks good- once before"

[–]c_lab 1 point2 points ago

Why are you masturbating to Facebook?

[–]Samuriguy 2 points3 points ago

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]KeinMitleid 1 point2 points ago

"fucking 14 year old sluts IsReallyAwesome!"

[–]Loaderini 0 points1 point ago

i thought that was a achievement

[–]doigel 0 points1 point ago

This feel is all too familiar. The daily chafing.

[–]Shagga__son_of_Dolf 0 points1 point ago

Same with most of reddit frontpage...

[–]newboyz99 0 points1 point ago

spiderman fapps?

[–]Skython 0 points1 point ago

Man, I don't know who your friends on facebook are, but none of mine are very interesting on facebook...

[–]stevieboy100 0 points1 point ago

i love how there is a picture of spiderman for everything

[–]molooch 0 points1 point ago

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I'm also glad I work from home.

[–]Patagonialkings 0 points1 point ago

They all make you try to think they're cool. Thats why i dont go on anymore. And hey, masturbating lowers your chances of getting prostate cancer

[–]Dodge5278 0 points1 point ago

Masturbating to facebook?

Try boobs.com, CRAZY shit.

[–]movie-title-retort 0 points1 point ago

Six degrees of seperation.

[–]karma_canoe 0 points1 point ago

Its okay, someone, somewhere, has a worse life than you.

[–]savior6 0 points1 point ago

my jerking off pays a pornstar's salary somewhere... maybe not money wise but in other ways

[–]MrDoubleE 0 points1 point ago

True story.

[–]I_cut_my_own_jib 0 points1 point ago

It's the picture right behind him that matches exactly how he is sitting...that is why this picture is funny.

[–]wildfire250 0 points1 point ago

Spiderman master area to facebook like a boss

[–]devolov 0 points1 point ago

The picture in the background is a picture of spiderman in his current situation. I'll pretend that it's a very advanced mirror so at least I'll still have some faith in 60s animation

[–]RadioGuy2k 0 points1 point ago

Why is this picture like 99999999x99999999?

[–]warpaint 0 points1 point ago

We masturbate to each other masturbating.

Circlejerk.

[–]Bboyflexxo 0 points1 point ago

Masturbate every time your on facebook eh? Yeah me too.

[–]sureyouare 0 points1 point ago

I've read some where that being active on facebook is correlated with depression.

Some of the best periods of my life are when I forget about FB all together and therefore have no time to post pictures/updates, etc.

PS. Technology is awesome...I had sex with Sasha Grey last week.