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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]kaitenburger 1907 points1908 points ago

Alex, You shall not pass.

[–]AscentofDissent 723 points724 points ago

Alex, you had no memory of this material.

[–]FalseAlarmEveryone 753 points754 points ago

One does not simply get an A for drawing doodles.

[–]gogogadgetupvote10 651 points652 points ago

Principal finds out: "Tell me, where is Alex? For I much desire to speak with him."

[–]stferago 596 points597 points ago

They're taking the students to Isengard!

[–]kevinproche 212 points213 points ago

Thanks, now that song will be stuck in my head all day.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]riskyplissken 14 points15 points ago

THAT DIDN'T HELP AT ALL

[–]PerfectCarve 12 points13 points ago

Really rather catchy

[–]Excentinel 31 points32 points ago

Yeah, like syphilis...

[–]Noir24 3 points4 points ago

That was brilliant, seem like cool guys.

[–]heymrk 78 points79 points ago

What did you say?

[–]commenterlv99 67 points68 points ago

THEY'RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD!

[–]ZealotNick 26 points27 points ago

STUPID FAT HOBBIT

[–]supaidaman 14 points15 points ago

GARD. GARD. GARD. GARD.

[–]4_word_replies_only 31 points32 points ago

Again, but only louder.

[–]BleinKottle 26 points27 points ago

Why did I click? It's not like it's new. FOR FUCK'S SAKE...

rocks back and forth

[–]selfawarepileofatoms 53 points54 points ago

Stupid fat students!

[–]arise_chicken 82 points83 points ago

Stupid fat students studentses!!

[–]asadsnail 13 points14 points ago

What's taters, precious?

[–]MrJMaxted0291 45 points46 points ago

A chance for Alex, captain of Gondor to show his quality?

NOPE.

[–]Cloud6556 24 points25 points ago

Why not use this test? Long has my father, the Steward of Gondor, kept the forces of bad grades at bay. By the ink of our pens are your grades kept safe.

[–]CraineTwo 7 points8 points ago

No parent should have to ground their child.

[–]sleeplessone 15 points16 points ago

They're taking the students to Isengard-gard-gard-gard-gard!

[–]NoOneShallThink 10 points11 points ago

God fucking dammit!

[–]thunnus 31 points32 points ago

alex has fallen into shadow

[–]I_Quote_LotR_Wrong 21 points22 points ago

Of all the inquiring students, Alex. You are the worst!

[–]yes_thats_right 68 points69 points ago

Janitor: POH-TAY-TOES

[–]CantStandrew 36 points37 points ago

boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew.

[–]GrannyBacon81 11 points12 points ago

I smell man flesh!

[–]Mikey-2-Guns 152 points153 points ago

And my axe!

(I'm sorry I can't think with this damn heat)

[–]jayz98z 224 points225 points ago

And my Alex!

FTFY

[–]Shyamallamadingdong 86 points87 points ago

Multiply, you fools!

[–]PARSLEYsage 53 points54 points ago

Fool of an Alex, next time throw yourself in as well!

[–]Graywolves 13 points14 points ago

For Alex!!!

[–]CircleOfNoms 55 points56 points ago

A red sun rises, bad marks have been given this day.

[–]oledirtybrandon 7 points8 points ago

They're taking Alex to Isengard!

[–]Brentyfresh 2 points3 points ago

One can only hope Alex will be capable of passing by the time he is eleventy-one.

[–]baracudaboy 2 points3 points ago

Best. reply. ever.

[–]stb14808 67 points68 points ago

This makes me think that Alex does these kinds of things a lot, so it's absolutely hilarious that his teacher feels the need to immediately scold him for a small picture.

[–]Bumblebree 445 points446 points ago

I read that in an "Alex, NOOOO" way. It's like she's trying to stop him from succumbing to Sauron.

[–]zanmanoodle 108 points109 points ago

As an Alex that frequently hears "ALEX. NO." from varying figures of authority, this was the last thought in my head.

[–]Stuball1992 58 points59 points ago

The last thought in your head when you succumbed to the Dark Lord Sauron?

[–]BleinKottle 86 points87 points ago

It had a dolan-esque quality when I read it.

[–]HotwaxNinjaPanther 100 points101 points ago

techar pls

[–]Seanjohn2800 31 points32 points ago

Wa teh fuk alec

[–]chiropter 13 points14 points ago

Wors than exspected Alec.

[–]BleinKottle 12 points13 points ago

[–]EmergencyMedical 28 points29 points ago

Glad I'm not the only one. Let's give teach the benefit of the doubt, eh?

[–]GiggidyAndPie 12 points13 points ago

EmergencyMedical NO.

[–]crayola_ferrari 12 points13 points ago

[–]syflox 34 points35 points ago

[–]Agabell30 519 points520 points ago

Totally only clicked on this because my name is Alex.

[–]ClassySalmon 433 points434 points ago

Mah nigga!

[–]Trachyon 209 points210 points ago

What's the plural of Alex?

Alexes? Alexi? Or do we just refer to ourselves as the collective consciousness known as Alex?

[–]kier00 699 points700 points ago

Just a bunch of assholes who were always first in line in Kindergarden.

[–]3229 469 points470 points ago

5 year old Aaron Anderson here, I would just like to say:

BAAAHAHAHHAHAHA YOU WILL ALWAYS BE BEHIND ME YOU STUPID POOFACE!

[–]WalrusTits 331 points332 points ago

My teacher did reverse alphabetical just to fuck bastards like you.

[–]MarbledNightmare 438 points439 points ago

Ahh, the old Sandusky method.

[–]Athletic_Audiophile 114 points115 points ago

Too soon.

[–]r0rsch4ch 172 points173 points ago

I totally thought your username was Athletic_Pedophile

[–]stanfan114 120 points121 points ago

Most audiophiles are pedophiles.

Source: some statistics I just made up.

[–]feureau 11 points12 points ago

You mean Gymnastics_Pedophile? That guy is popular in china

[–]id10t_error34 3 points4 points ago

Close enough.

[–]Prax150 8 points9 points ago

Clearly not soon enough.

[–]mattynunchucks 1 point2 points ago

That's a touchy subject, man.

[–]MarbledNightmare 1 point2 points ago

No need to get your shower cap in a bunch.

[–]mattynunchucks 2 points3 points ago

It's okay, I'll only be upset for 60 to 442 years.

[–]thesundeity 22 points23 points ago

having the first initial j, and the second k, this never helped.

[–]MoaningMyrtle 11 points12 points ago

I was an N.M.

I feel your pain.

[–]ofriceandhens 5 points6 points ago

Poor, Aaron. Back of the line, illegitimate, and victim of child rape.

[–]LethalAtheist 29 points30 points ago

Initials CC here, always comfortably close to the front, but without the immense pressure of being line leader.

[–]JacobCurry 10 points11 points ago

God, I hated being line leader. I never knew where the hell we were going.

[–]HeyCarpy 27 points28 points ago

Just for that, I'm naming my kid Aaaaron.

[–][deleted] 72 points73 points ago

Mine will be A²ron. Pronounced Squaron.

[–]aesthil 33 points34 points ago

I think I'll name mine AaaaaaaaaaTyrone. The As are silent.

[–]jobosno 8 points9 points ago

Mine will be Aaaaaaaaaaaaa. The A's are silent.

[–]Herff 6 points7 points ago

Great, I just spit my pants all over my drink.

[–]aesthil 3 points4 points ago

Here's to buying you a new drink to wear that doesn't have pants all over it!

[–]Ruvaak 15 points16 points ago

Seriously Aaron? Your name starts with two A's? Stop being so greedy.

[–]y2kerick 10 points11 points ago

seems like you LIKE guys behind you

[–]LatchHandy 8 points9 points ago

Not true, Aaron always went first.

[–]hotfiyah 3 points4 points ago

As an Alex with the last name that starts with a W....this is not true :(

[–]qupa1210 3 points4 points ago

Right behind Adam! 8-)

[–]JustZisGuy 3 points4 points ago

We went by last name.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]ClosetShark 28 points29 points ago

A year from now, casually refer to each of them as Alex in a comment to freak them out

[–]alexgdorman 4 points5 points ago

Would probably still freak me out.

[–]Noturordinaryguy 15 points16 points ago

I believe it's called a herd of alex

[–]ace_invader 9 points10 points ago

Hobbitses

[–]pirate_chef 8 points9 points ago

Aleces.

[–]justdoitok 5 points6 points ago

The Alexeratti The Alexicon. The Aleex (like goose to geece). Alexanderers. Honestly I thought this would be easier.

[–]existence123 5 points6 points ago

there is only one alex. The illusion of separateness is maya and will dissolve once you take LSD!

[–]kevinproche 6 points7 points ago

I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week. But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting

[–]fjellfras 5 points6 points ago

Alexei

[–]PantsOnFireMan 8 points9 points ago

We are legion We are one We are Alex

[–]hooterboy 3 points4 points ago

Alexen

[–]comment_filibuster 3 points4 points ago

alexisonfire

[–]bigpapaalex 14 points15 points ago

I love a good Alex thread

[–]Neepho 15 points16 points ago

Mah niggas: /r/alex

[–]Timetogetstoned 13 points14 points ago

Totally got a little scared when I saw my name in caps.

[–]Leadpipe 36 points37 points ago

Maybe you should spend five hours carving THAT into your face, Starburns.

[–]MinecraftHardon 8 points9 points ago

His name was Alex.

Also, Alex reporting in!

[–]XelaBH 8 points9 points ago

I thought my computer was finally responding to my Reddit addiction

[–]NoMoore 8 points9 points ago

Tocayo! (This is an endearing Spanish term that I've come across as an Alex myself, used to refer to someone else with the same name as you.)

[–]Roboticide 13 points14 points ago

Tell me about it. Weirdest fucking thing. My name's also Alex, and I just opened Reddit to check briefly at work. See that first thing on the front page, and just sort of think "Well, shit. Guess I'm done."

Bye guys.

[–]Neverend3r 16 points17 points ago

98% of my friends won't share this because their name is not Alex. Like and Share if you are Alex

[–]ABlackOrchid 3 points4 points ago

Everyone just calls you Starburns though right?

[–]bettysurfchick 6 points7 points ago

Me too! Cept I'm a girl. Anyways, fist bump

[–]Nap-89 4 points5 points ago

All right, no more picking on Reddit, brother. That's part of the new way.

[–]TheHammerIsMyPenis89 5 points6 points ago

New way? What's this about a new way? There's been some very large talk behind my sleeping back, I know it.

[–]Nap-89 2 points3 points ago

No offence Alex, but we wanted to have things more democratic like. Not like you like saying what to do and what not all the time. But no offence.

[–]TreasurerAlex 2 points3 points ago

Me too!

[–]Dantayl 135 points136 points ago

There is something so scolding about the 'ALEX NO'. If it were just a cross then I'd find this funny, but it's unsettling to think about the teacher of this pupil.

[–]superbad 184 points185 points ago

It seems likely that this is not the first time Alex has done this.

[–]just_kitten 72 points73 points ago

Really? I'm the opposite - I would find a cross rather pedestrian and even annoying in its obviousness... But ALEX NO - and on separate lines! - that really got me chuckling out loud. It sounds so hilariously despondent and deadpan... ALEX NO THIS IS NOT ART CLASS DAMMIT

[–]notaseasyasitlooks 16 points17 points ago

I laughed, too, and read it in a tone of voice that made it sound like a hand smack.

[–]gillesvdo 40 points41 points ago

I've had a few of these teachers in my day. Zero sense of humor, and seemingly unable to even acknowledge there's a world outside of the school walls.

As a constant doodler, these teachers were my nemesis's.

[–]Shadowmaggot323 61 points62 points ago

...sigh...fine. I'll take it for the team this time.

Nemeses*, ftfy

[–]gillesvdo 26 points27 points ago

Thanks! I tried "nemesises" first and stupidly trusted the spellchecker's suggestion of "nemesis's" :p

Non-native speaker here.

[–]Demgar 13 points14 points ago

The point of language is to communicate. If you communicated your intent correctly you are doing it better than most native speakers. Spelling be damned.

[–]thehighercritic 7 points8 points ago

true, but spelling be better.

[–]Psyladine 11 points12 points ago

"They called the next one Alien 3. Which is fine, I mean, they couldn't call it Aliens's"

[–]OneCruelBagel 19 points20 points ago

Better than Ali3n, which is probably what would've happened these days. ಠ_ಠ

[–]okayifimust 8 points9 points ago

Isn't that a scene from .... uh ... Buffy? Xena? Something?

"We are her Nemesis....es...ens...."

[–]classy_stegasaurus 2 points3 points ago

I've gotten yelled at like that before. I has a real bad habit of using the staircase that were held aside for only whole classes and teachers.

[–]big_ol_boners 328 points329 points ago

Alex pls go

[–]Truelyoriginalname 117 points118 points ago

no

[–]JimiofEden 67 points68 points ago

Ralph plz

[–]bultaco370pursang 54 points55 points ago

[–]ryeguy 27 points28 points ago

Congrats, all the other retards in this thread thought OP was referencing dolan.

[–]DigitalChocobo 9 points10 points ago

I'm one of those retards and what is this?

[–]xaronax 159 points160 points ago

profesor pls.

[–]RemTar 48 points49 points ago

k

[–]Quaytsar 49 points50 points ago

acually is dolan

[–]Marvinssdf 39 points40 points ago

acually is gollum*

FTFY

[–]four_chambers 17 points18 points ago

We had to write out a story problem for one of our math tests in eighth grade. I don't remember the specifics of the problem, but I named one of the characters "Principal Principal", and then commented on how it was only a coincidence that her last name matched her profession, or something stupid like that. When I got the test back, my math teacher had circled "Principal Principal" and wrote NOT FUNNY in big bold letters right next to it. I mean, I know it's not Evening at the Improv material, but I'm in eighth grade, lady. Cut me some slack.

[–]dactyif 32 points33 points ago

Part of me thinks that there is more alex material out there; one doesn't simply just snap at alex like that.. edit for typo :(

[–]Bitter_Idealist 33 points34 points ago

Blurrier pic, please.

[–]karmahawk 53 points54 points ago

[–]digitalcriminal 6 points7 points ago

thx bro.

[–]JavaMuzik 91 points92 points ago

Alex is a fucking champion.

[–]curtdawgg 20 points21 points ago

[–]sticknutzman 15 points16 points ago

David looks like bizarro Charlie Brown.

[–]slow56k 13 points14 points ago

F+

[–]oleada87 5 points6 points ago

I'm sure the teacher laughed..impossible not to laugh, juuuust a litte

[–]ChungIMO 61 points62 points ago

I always see these as fake. The capital E in his and the 'teachers' writing is very similar in which the first stroke was down to the right, then the top line and middle line drawn afterwards which creates the over shooting with the middle line. I rarely had a teacher whos penmanship was that poor, even with student teachers.

[–]creepig 39 points40 points ago

I rarely had a teacher whos penmanship was that poor

You've never gone to a university, I see.

[–]classy_stegasaurus 6 points7 points ago

That's actually a really common way to write E. Not as far-fetched as it seems that two people write them the same way. In fact, I had a friend who wrote I and F just like me. Except smaller

[–]squigs 7 points8 points ago

I agree. Mainly it seems an odd thing to write. As though he was doing something dangerous or something.

[–]TheMadHatter_9 8 points9 points ago

My teacher's handwriting sucked. We always had to ask him what his comments said.

[–]mrhallpass 22 points23 points ago

Not sure why you're getting down voted. It looks incredibly fake to me as well and you're absolutely right about the middle line in the 'E.'

[–]okayifimust 48 points49 points ago

Unpossible!

A student couldn't be using a red pen! It's not allowed!

[–]DEBdildo 4 points5 points ago

Macro lens. Have you heard of it motherfuckers?

[–]IntRobot 3 points4 points ago

One does not simply calculate the importance of seat belt wearing.

[–]lizardfawn 4 points5 points ago

My name is Alex. Seeing the post title scared the shit out of me...

[–]jj26meu 3 points4 points ago

Bad Alex! NO...NO

[–]uberalles2 11 points12 points ago

I don't get it. No, don't explain. I'm OK with not getting it.

[–]King_Pumpernickel 5 points6 points ago

ALEX YES!!!

[–]My_2nd_SFW_Account 9 points10 points ago

one does not simply take education seriously...

[–]dustintheweb 11 points12 points ago

one does not simply walk into MordALEX NO

[–]arksien 2 points3 points ago

Judging by the dog scolding tone assumed, I can't tell if the teacher is sick of this kids doodles, or ashamed of his skills...

[–]WillNye 2 points3 points ago

Oh, that Alex and his shenanigans. What will he do next, I wonder?

[–]mihitnrun 2 points3 points ago

Alex, you fool!

[–]SonicFlash01 2 points3 points ago

How else would you answer that question?
"As the graph shows; that looks like it would fucking hurt, so wear a seatbelt"

[–]LordKilgar 2 points3 points ago

Teacher was actually referring to him using a palantír to cheat.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

Ahh, the old "Failing school for karma" ploy.

[–]TeRRoR503 2 points3 points ago

ALEX NOOOoooo! -Darth Vader

[–]Ommec 2 points3 points ago

Alex's REPRESENT!

[–]greenhatsftw 2 points3 points ago

And in all caps, no less.

[–]Iamgoingtooffendyou 32 points33 points ago

Teacher seems kind of a bitch.

[–]Breathing_Balls 53 points54 points ago

Not really. Apart from the concept art, it's quite a sloppy attempt.

And his pencil needs sharpening.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

[–]DerginSlayer 6 points7 points ago

So A for effort means nothing to you?

[–]CitizenPremier 11 points12 points ago

Imagine if your doctor got an A for effort.

[–]conwyt 17 points18 points ago

He's implying it was a C effort.

[–]DrVoodoo 8 points9 points ago

I don't know what your user name is supposed to be, but it made me think of this.

[–]cbs5090 7 points8 points ago

I'm related to this guy. No shit.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

You a Twitty?

[–]heyimrick 9 points10 points ago

I imagine a teacher who continually puts up with his doodling and antics. A deep sigh, then finally "ALEX NO".

[–]cadehalada 3 points4 points ago

Typical teacher trying to squash creativity and make Alex a sheep. Fight the power Alex.

[–]kimball10 1 point2 points ago

He's right. I don't see what else it could be.

[–]alexbull_uk 1 point2 points ago

Aww, why? :(

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

:(

[–]FrostByt 1 point2 points ago

Keep it secret....keep it safe.

[–]Dead_beet 1 point2 points ago

gooby pls

[–]Cross88 1 point2 points ago

I was expecting to see someone getting raped over a Jeopardy podium...

[–]irving_zissmann 1 point2 points ago

call me blind but wtf did alex write?

[–]rockboys2 1 point2 points ago

Sometimes I go into my room and pretend to be a leaf.

[–]monoflemin 1 point2 points ago

derp herp alex form CYP ;p

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]crawsome 1 point2 points ago

This kind of behaviour should be encouraged.

[–]SmokinMonkey 1 point2 points ago

I had a professor who gave bonus marks for smart-ass answers and drawings on exams.

[–]xRound_Aboutx 1 point2 points ago

I read it as, ""Alex, NOOOO" and thought that Alex Trebek died. My heart skipped a beat D: