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all 45 comments

[–]Limerick_Summarist 71 points72 points ago

A robot with talent and pluck

Built with hands that really do suck

Science might not care

But he does truly despair

And could end it all without giving a fuck

[–]Elanthius 53 points54 points ago

Scientist think they're so great
But they've finally sealed our fate
Despite loving to sing
He says only one thing
EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE

[–]Lokkion 14 points15 points ago

I enjoyed this. I think we've all had fun.

[–]Alexthegreatbelgian 2 points3 points ago

That was beautiful

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

I commend your idea to denote

Paraphrastically what OPs wrote,

But your meter is poor,

And its substance a bore,

And therefore it has earned my down-vote.

edit: Apparently using "OP" without a definite article is grammatically incorrect, though I thought it was an established internet convention. My bad. Elanthius's solution messed with the meter so I made it plural instead. Thanks, Elanthius!

[–]oskar_s 6 points7 points ago

There was a young man from Japan

Whose limericks never would scan.

When asked why this was,

He replied "It's because

I always try to fit as many syllables into the last line as ever I possibly can."

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

The troll count in this thread is TOO DAMN HIGH!

[–]Limerick_Summarist 5 points6 points ago

I get why you feel how you do

At limericks I am fairly new

But I will keep going

In hopes of still showing

That I can do these things well too

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

And I wish you the best of luck!

Honestly, keep doing what you're doing. But I'll be watching. ಠ_ಠ

[–]Elanthius -1 points0 points ago

Paraphrastically what the OP wrote

FYMFY ;)

[–]d1al96 1 point2 points ago

There once was a man from Peru

Who fell asleep in a canoe

He dreamed of Venus

Played with his penis

And woke with a hand full of goo

[–]PhiladelphiaIrish 8 points9 points ago

[–]A_Twilight_Zone 3 points4 points ago

Ever read I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream? Same idea with horrible a horrible outcome.

[–]cjcrashoveride 3 points4 points ago

Except with more rape!

[–]hatteshizzle 1 point2 points ago

Always a good topic....

[–]Vanceldore 4 points5 points ago

I met a guy with lobster hands once. Always there in a pinch if I need him.

[–]BobTheSCV 3 points4 points ago

That would be engineering, not science.

[–]WildN0X 0 points1 point ago

No sense in correcting the world

[–]BobTheSCV 0 points1 point ago

If nobody corrects the world, everything will be wrong.

[–]LeMadnessofKingHippo 2 points3 points ago

Why? Why was I programmed to feel pain?!

[–]Im_A_Parrot 8 points9 points ago

That's not science. It is engineering. 99% of "mad scientists" are really just mad engineers. Please stop the scientist abuse. It is making us mad.

[–]farore57 0 points1 point ago

A parrot scientist? Do you do original research or just repeat experiments that have already been done?

[–]vxx 2 points3 points ago

Oh this poor robot. I feel sad now.

[–]shaun_the_postman 2 points3 points ago

[–]mrdeadsniper 1 point2 points ago

I think I will put that with my sympathetic robot collect. Reminds me of the Spirit cartoon for xkcd.

[–]QWOP_Expert 1 point2 points ago

Reminds me of this passage from Mostly Harmless:

"Now logic is a wonderful thing but it has, as the processes of evolution discovered, certain drawbacks. Anything that thinks logically can be fooled by something else which thinks at least as logically as it does. The easiest way to fool a completely logical robot is to feed it the same stimulus sequence oyer and over again so it gets locked in a loop. This was best demonstrated by the famous Herring Sandwich experiments conducted millennia ago at MISPWOSO (The Maximegalon Institute of Slowly and Painfully Working Out the Surprisingly Obvious). A robot was programmed to believe that it liked herring sandwiches. This was actually the most difficult part of the whole experiment. Once the robot had been programmed to believe that it liked herring sandwiches, a herring sandwich was placed in front of it. Whereupon the robot thought to itself, 'Ah! A herring sandwich! I like herring sandwiches.' It would" then bend over and scoop up the herring sandwich in its herring sandwich scoop, and then straighten up again. Unfortunately for the robot, it was fashioned in such a way that the action of straightening up caused the herring sandwich to slip straight back off its herring sandwich scoop and fall on to the floor in front of the robot. Whereupon the robot thought to itself, 'Ah! A herring sandwich. . .' etc., and repeated the same action over and over and over again. The only thing that prevented the herring sandwich from getting bored with the whole damn business and crawling off in search of other ways of passing the time was that the herring sandwich, being just a bit of dead fish between a couple of slices of bread, was marginally less alert to what was going on than was the robot. The scientists at the Institute thus discovered the driving force behind all change, development and innovation in life, which was this: herring sandwiches. They published a paper to this effect, which was widely criticized as being extremely stupid. "

[–]i_spin_bubbles 1 point2 points ago

...and after a while, he acts like HIM

[–]user_without_a_soul 0 points1 point ago

I love you.

[–]i_spin_bubbles 0 points1 point ago

...with all your s... OH WAIT

[–]Breathing_Balls 0 points1 point ago

Robot cannot service itself. Poor sod.

[–]farty_mcfly 0 points1 point ago

You have what my old music teacher, Mrs. Mellenger, called "stupid fingers." With hands like that you'll be lucky to master a belt buckle.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Medically speaking, your heart is retarded. And your liver's a slut.

[–]redmercuryvendor 0 points1 point ago

You reminded me of North No.2. And now I'm sad.

[–]Intrexa 0 points1 point ago

Has science gone too far?

[–]rebelpride 0 points1 point ago

Thus, the birth and evolution of the Daleks. All they really want is to evolve into something with fingers

[–]Hardcorex 0 points1 point ago

poor guy :(

[–]OBrien 0 points1 point ago

If Strongbad can do it, I'm sure this robot can eventually find love.

[–]cultured_banana_slug 0 points1 point ago

They won't be laughing when they're starving, surrounded by cans of food, and have no way to open the cans. And the robot will laugh. And laugh. And play piano.

[–]ILL_Show_Myself_Out 1 point2 points ago

Wow, that really struck a chord with him.

[–]kerune -1 points0 points ago

I'll make a note of it.

[–]venefb 0 points1 point ago

Thank you for informing the staff.

[–]jt25151 -1 points0 points ago

Technically that's engineering, not science.

[–]pittybrave -3 points-2 points ago

i caaaaaan't stop laughing

[–]zaymo -5 points-4 points ago