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top 200 commentsshow all 474

[–]AlphaRedditor 702 points703 points ago

[–]mozeiny 260 points261 points ago

I would watch the fuck out of that.

[–]filmfiend999 94 points95 points ago

I would watch the fuck out of a Blade/Abe tag team match against Glittervamp/Jerry Dandridge (Colin Farrell remake version that tried to kill Fright Night).

[–]alison09 52 points53 points ago

At least Tennant was entertaining in Fright Night.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points ago

I agree, made the whole movie worthwhile

[–]atizzy 8 points9 points ago

I would prefer the twilight vampires to be eaten by zombies then shot in the head when they try to get up.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]mach-2 1 point2 points ago

[–]lPFreely 1 point2 points ago

Very nice, but perhaps not harsh enough. Entire cast of Twilight vs Goku, that's the movie I wanna see.

[–]WildeNietzsche 12 points13 points ago

Oooh, I thought Colin Farrell was great too. I actually didn't think the movie was bad at all. And I went in expecting to hate it.

[–]prince_of_tacoma 8 points9 points ago

I really enjoyed the Fright Night remake. I got exactly what I wanted.

[–]leeflippingreene 4 points5 points ago

I'm not going to lie I really enjoyed the remake. Tennant was great.

[–]filmfiend999 4 points5 points ago

He was ok, but he isn't Peter Vincent. That's Roddy McDowall. I grew up in the 80's and that was a favorite since I was little. I am so aggravated by the recent slew of terrible 80's horror remakes. If anyone tries to remake Creepshow, that may be the last straw..

[–]mycatiskai 1 point2 points ago

They are filming a remake of Carrie in Toronto right now. Why does Hollywood want to ruin good old movies.

They should just release the old movie into theaters again it would be cheaper.

[–]alison09 1 point2 points ago

They're also remaking Dirty Dancing. That's just wrong.

[–]filmfiend999 1 point2 points ago

now that is scary

[–]smartindumbcircles 17 points18 points ago

I would watch that so hard, again and again.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]smartindumbcircles 10 points11 points ago

Shit I had my ohh face 2 minutes into the opening credits

[–]gmick 6 points7 points ago

Snipes gets out of jail next July. This could be the summer blockbuster of 2014.

[–]Zhang5 5 points6 points ago

It'd be over in under a minute though. But I'd put it on repeat.

[–]Neebat 2 points3 points ago

Sure, the fight would be over in under a minute, but then there'd be another minute of gloating. They could sell a full-price admission for a two-hour movie and just show the two minutes of Blade ripping Edward to pieces, 60 times.

[–]SRS270 20 points21 points ago

I'm with you. You have my sword.

[–]drakoman 28 points29 points ago

And my DVD player.

[–]idma 11 points12 points ago

upvote for going out of the norm

[–]BobTehCat 32 points33 points ago

AND MY AXE!

[–]FarmerTedd 35 points36 points ago

It's still funny to me dammit!

[–]wafflesareforever 7 points8 points ago

AND MY AXE!

[–]tidux 8 points9 points ago

Are you Abraham Lincoln?

[–]sleepystrangekid 6 points7 points ago

...And you have my bow...

[–]dietotaku 120 points121 points ago

nothing will ever beat the seamlessness of this one.

[–]ImmortalImitator 9 points10 points ago

Clever girl...

[–]AdmiralEO 2 points3 points ago

That made me laugh until it hurt. :D

[–]pitonegro 1 point2 points ago

Hahahahahaha today has been my best reddit experience ever. Laughin my balls off. I love you guys

[–]TimeZarg 1 point2 points ago

Fuck yeah the Count, putting down wannabe vampires :P

[–]Kramol 25 points26 points ago

[–]Hamlet7768 6 points7 points ago

Hell yeah, Orlok!

[–]Cenodoxus 35 points36 points ago

No, no, no.

For the purists: http://imgur.com/k8Rj0

[–]WildeNietzsche 66 points67 points ago

I like it, but is there a smaller version?

[–]DeathToPennies 1 point2 points ago

RES, man. RES. Makes life easy.

[–]stagfury 3 points4 points ago

I'd rather watch Angelus destroy his soul first.

[–]effemelle 1 point2 points ago

She's stabbing him in the wrong side of the chest... it's over the heart, the heart is on the left. D:

[–]POSTS_GIFS 65 points66 points ago

[–]pictocube 9 points10 points ago

Vamplander

[–]RanksUrLawls 3 points4 points ago

85. My homie!

[–]Panda412 1 point2 points ago

Ironically, one of the models from that scene (Meekus?) is now a vampire on TrueBlood.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]uranus86 59 points60 points ago

[–]onewheeled 20 points21 points ago

Dear God, that almost hurt to read. Bravo.

[–]FuckOffMightBe2Kind 24 points25 points ago

Note: this is a novelty account.

[–]lxiir 5 points6 points ago

I don't understand why people would down vote this...

[–]goblueM 1 point2 points ago

perhaps because its downright painful to read, even if you get the fact that its a novelty account and well-done, too

[–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 11 points12 points ago

Redditor for 5 days: -3542 Karma.

That's quite an effort.

[–]snafy 3 points4 points ago

Novelty account :)

[–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 7 points8 points ago

I know :)

[–]zenmunster 1 point2 points ago

:)

[–]daedalus733 18 points19 points ago

Almost -600 karma per day, and with fairly long posts. That's some dedication.

A++

[–]nathancheek 11 points12 points ago

What in the world did I just read?

[–]Zhang5 9 points10 points ago

A post from a novelty account that's supposed to emulate the writing style of an emotional teenager.

[–]martellus 11 points12 points ago

-3354 comment karma. I think its working.

[–]Zhang5 6 points7 points ago

It's almost like a protected form of trolling. I doubt it'll get banned since it's just a novelty account (and it sticks with the schtick).

[–]TheJackalope231 2 points3 points ago

What's the username? I'd like to see other posts of this creature.

[–]Zhang5 1 point2 points ago

[–]TheJackalope231 1 point2 points ago

Bleh. Never mind. That's just painful.

[–]nathancheek 3 points4 points ago

Well they're definitely better at amassing negative karma than I am at the opposite

[–]namesrhardtothinkof 3 points4 points ago

I wonder if you typed this out and added the spelling mistakes or just dove right in.

[–]leex0 1 point2 points ago

what a terrible novelty account. but it does have some valid points. "if u dont like twilite then dont watc it ok?" -> "If you don't like Twilight, then don't watch it. No need to constantly hate on it just to engage in a circle jerk." "u shuld wtch it nd ull probly like it 2." -> "You should probably watch or read something before blindly hating on something. i'm sure there are thousands of angry internetters who hate on Twilight without even trying to read/watch it."

[–]TwiceThePriceOfRice 1 point2 points ago

Surprise muthafuka

[–]chubbydidge 43 points44 points ago

[–]PocketTheFerret 1 point2 points ago

Can you also add the riot guy into this picture?

[–]preo 27 points28 points ago

if you look closely the picture is fake

[–]alahos 2 points3 points ago

I can't decide which one of those 2 pixels is shopped.

[–]preo 1 point2 points ago

actually its 124,080 ;)

[–]BitterVegan 49 points50 points ago

Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe. - Abraham Lincoln

[–]Apostolate 34 points35 points ago

That doesn't sound like a good movie.

[–]soulcakeduck 16 points17 points ago

Depends on which two hours the movie covers.

[–]VVesley9 5 points6 points ago

Well, it starts off slow but it really picks up towards the end.

[–]pufan321 2 points3 points ago

Great book though.

[–]nanowerx 1 point2 points ago

Great movie too. Fuck the critics, I was entertained...hell the writer of the book wrote the screenplay.

[–]DonnieNarco 373 points374 points ago

Guys, I'm just going to say what I think, and I don't care how unpopular this opinion may be, but it has to be said. I know, thousands of downvotes for going against the opinions of most redditors.

I don't like Twilight.

[–]TheStupidZebra 227 points228 points ago

all of reddit gasps in unison

[–]SchrodingersCake 146 points147 points ago

I just read that as "All of reddit grasps the unicorn."

I need to go to sleep.

[–]rawbamatic 40 points41 points ago

[–]DeathToPennies 11 points12 points ago

FUCKING INTERNET.

[–]pew43 1 point2 points ago

Well, thats... hmm... I'm not... I can't... I don't-I can't-I'm not... uhm...

[–]qtip12 16 points17 points ago

I like out your way!

[–]ChinesePhil 10 points11 points ago

lol i read that 10 times as "I lick out your way"

Heading to bed too

[–]ZEB1138 12 points13 points ago

[–]red321red321 1 point2 points ago

we just wanted to taste the rainbow, man

[–]whatwhatintehbutt 2 points3 points ago

gold

[–]lbutton 1 point2 points ago

The creepiest animal in the world...well done Captain.

EDIT: creepiest underbite

[–]gordigor 1 point2 points ago

Alpaca dramatica

[–]Aeroman91 34 points35 points ago

[–]FilipinoPhil 18 points19 points ago

May Ron Paul have mercy on your soul.

[–]DonnieNarco 5 points6 points ago

Only Carl Sagan can grant me the BRAVERY to make it through this trying time of persecution.

[–]daedalus733 31 points32 points ago

So fucking brave of you to say that here.

[–]Fatecer 6 points7 points ago

SO BRAVE

[–]alahos 7 points8 points ago

Enjoy your reporting, asshole!

[–]GophaKyorselv 11 points12 points ago

Bravery Level: So.

[–]FarmerTedd 9 points10 points ago

[–]uranus86 5 points6 points ago

you have no soul

[–]ebass 3 points4 points ago

i cri

[–]steakmeout 1 point2 points ago

You have no taste and no sense of the Zeitgeist. You might want to see a doctor for that. Fanfiction is the new respected literature, didn't you know? You're going against the grain and upsetting us all. Especially those of who practice pouting in the mirror.

[–]Shazzam74 1 point2 points ago

So brave

[–]DownvoterAccount 1 point2 points ago

SHIT SON YOU GOIN TO JAIL.

[–]JFloUnknown 1 point2 points ago

Jumpin' on the bravery karma train!

[–]xhsdf 1 point2 points ago

Please, tell us more stories of your bravery!

[–]killroy901 1 point2 points ago

You cheeky Bastard. You knew that most of Reddit actually hates it

[–]TwoCat 3 points4 points ago

SO BRAVE

[–]soggit 9 points10 points ago

Has anyone seen the movie? Is it awesome or shitty? I feel like there's no chance it falls in the middle.

[–]Jealous_Hitler 6 points7 points ago

SPOILERS

I went to the midnight premier. We didn't watch it seriously. It has its' moments, but the plot is all over the place, rapidly switching to Abe's love interest to fighting vampires to giving a political speech in about 2 minutes.

Some parts I laughed super hard at, like when the vampire that killed Abe's mom threw a horse at Abe during a battle. A horse.

Also I lol'd at the end when the one vampire promised Abe immortality, only minutes prior to Abe leaving for the Ford's Theater.

[–]carl_jung_einstein 5 points6 points ago

SPOILERS

That field contained, what seemed to be, every horse in America. I mean, where the hell where all of these horses coming from?

[–]adfoote 2 points3 points ago

Throwing the damn horse. My friends and I saw it at the midnight release as well, and we keep ending sentences with "... or I'll throw a horse at you." Good times.

[–]richbellemare 8 points9 points ago

If you're talking about Vampire Hunter.

It stands alone well, but is a horrible abomination of a great book.

[–]MegaZambam 4 points5 points ago

Thank you! The movie makers did not understand the book at all! Great plot that was actually somewhat plausible. The movie was just bullshit and ruined a great book.

[–]nanowerx 1 point2 points ago

The writer of the book wrote the screenplay. Fuck it, I had a great time watching it at the theater. No book is going to transfer 100% to film, but with what they had, it worked to be an entertaining movie.

[–]Arrant_Theif 1 point2 points ago

While reading the book I was thinking of how impossible it would be to make it in to a movie. Way too much awesome.

[–]wouldyoukindly 1 point2 points ago

If you enjoyed the book, you probably won't like it. If you have never read it, then you might like it. It wasn't too bad.

[–]scy1192 4 points5 points ago

tl;dr critics are out of touch, most people shouldn't care about their opinions as usual

[–]Eldorian 1 point2 points ago

I enjoyed it. I probably would have enjoyed it more if I hadn't read the book beforehand, it's not a great adaptation.

[–]Tatshua 1 point2 points ago

I've seen it. It's actually not the worst film I've seen, but I didn't like it. The Internet is, as it often does, exagerating. It deserves criticism, but the level of hatred has gone too far.

[–]kuoushi 1 point2 points ago

I just saw it after not reading anything about it on the internet. Being a fan of the book, I can say it wasn't a good adaptation but I thought it stood well on its own as a movie. It certainly wasn't perfect, but I enjoyed it all the same.

Basically, what this guy said.

[–]imdrinkingteaatwork 86 points87 points ago

People still make fun of Twilight?

[–]radicalheadphone 27 points28 points ago

Believe it or not, they still have another one coming out. Expect anti-Twilight jokes on your Facebook in the coming months.

[–]TimeZarg 2 points3 points ago

Really? Another one? D:

[–]NotaMethAddict 14 points15 points ago

There are a few very brave souls willing to do it. Only the bravest.

[–]Calexica 7 points8 points ago

Twilight always gets upvoted to the #1 spot on reddit just when I begin to forget it existed. Oh, reddit.

[–]steakmeout 7 points8 points ago

As long as I've got a face, you've always got a place to sit!

[–]dontneedyourkarma 37 points38 points ago

I would watch this the same way the Romans would watch the gladiator fights.

[–]RoflCopter4 20 points21 points ago

I'd like to take this opportunity to point out that Roman gladatorial fights were very, very rarely to the death. Unless slaves were involved, trained gladiators were worth too much to die. They fought to first blood. The idea that they were all to the death is more or less bullshit.

[–]frankdozier 5 points6 points ago

Yeah, but it makes for good cinema.

Also, it's thought that the thumbs up, thumbs down thing didn't really happen that way.

[–]RoflCopter4 6 points7 points ago

Thumbs out for death, thumb in for life. Early in the empire there was more actual killing, but as time went on fights came to be rarely to the death.

[–]frankdozier 6 points7 points ago

I find that interesting, especially since the apparent inspiration for the film, Gladiator, was a famous painting called "Thumbs Down."

[–]Zerak-Tul 4 points5 points ago

Yeah, a painting painted in 1872, by an artist who lived over a millennium after the fall of the (western) roman empire. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pollice_verso

I.e. said artist made shit up - much in the same way that vikings have been depicted as wearing horned helmets by artists who never saw a real viking.

[–]chiqadeee 32 points33 points ago

Are you not entertained?

[–]red321red321 45 points46 points ago

[–]aconcernedconsumer 15 points16 points ago

This sums up my reaction to most things on the internet these days...

[–]fantafox 4 points5 points ago

I would watch it the same way that people watch porn.

[–]Sean-Z-Bear 18 points19 points ago

10 minutes at a time with no pants on and the door closed?

[–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 14 points15 points ago

Dangling from the roof by my ankles wearing a Bobba Fett mask with my door wide open and surround sound blaring.

[–]Dalek_Kolt 1 point2 points ago

Wouldn't the mask fall off?

[–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 4 points5 points ago

It's a snug fit. Bit of elastic cord under the chin and you're set to go.

[–]just_saiyan_bro 1 point2 points ago

The mental image of this disturbed me.

[–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 4 points5 points ago

Shit. That is a brilliant idea. A Gladiator-style movie where the slaves/challengers are vampires, and the 'Romans' are vampire slayers. But do it in a gritty, bloody way with amazing fight scenes and psycho, thirsty vampires. I would watch this.

[–]77benevolentelefants 2 points3 points ago

Naked and slathered in olive oil?

[–]bitcheslovedroids 36 points37 points ago

[–]ColdChemical 8 points9 points ago

ahhh photoshop battles...

[–]red321red321 5 points6 points ago

20 days

[–]Bike_stole_my_nigga 3 points4 points ago

Pyro is credit to team.

[–]SpruceHalo 2 points3 points ago

Damn im in the third season and I forgot how he looked like with hair.

[–]Punkwolf 1 point2 points ago

I still gotta watch that movie sometime..... it looks fantastic.

[–]jhb2wr 4 points5 points ago

Phenomenal. I cannot recommend it enough :}

[–]Luskar421 10 points11 points ago

Another reason why Lincoln is my favorite president.

[–]ImNotJesus 30 points31 points ago

  1. Vampire killing

  2. Cool hat

  3. That slave thing.

In that order.

[–]Jeskim 12 points13 points ago

Oooh. You're gonna offend some people there. The gay community considers that hat a holy icon.

[–]ImNotJesus 30 points31 points ago

Considering one of the 6 total words in the picture is "staked", surely one of the thousands of pictures of her with a stake in her hand would've been better.

[–]TheBernSupremacy 21 points22 points ago

Well, yeah

[–]Lillipout 11 points12 points ago

"I've got your Emancipation Proclamation right here!" Lincoln declared as he drove the axe home.

[–]itsprobablytrue 4 points5 points ago

America, Fuck yeah!

[–]nellson13 5 points6 points ago

'Fuck you, vampire.'

-Abraham Lincoln

[–]d-scan 12 points13 points ago

"ABOLISH THIS!"

[–]theghoul 6 points7 points ago

The movie let me down a bit, but it still entertaining.

Edit: Not Twilight.

[–]secretcurse 4 points5 points ago

I haven't seen the movie yet, but I liked the book.

Also, not Twilight.

[–]richbellemare 4 points5 points ago

Movie's story is. completely different from book. They changed the rules for the vampires, ruined Henry, and fabricated some 5,000 year old vampire named Adam.

[–]aidaman 1 point2 points ago

WTF were you expecting?

[–]cakes 4 points5 points ago

A bit? It was awful.

[–]joshuad80 2 points3 points ago

tbh: i'm amazed that none of these 'my favorite pic on the internet' posts that i've been seeing today include any boobs.

[–]beepbeepimajeep_ 2 points3 points ago

Still a better movie than Twilight.

[–]rauf107 2 points3 points ago

He runs like a Welshman. Doesn't he? Doesn't he run like a Welshman?

[–]olididcas 5 points6 points ago

I can't wait until Breaking Dawn Part 2 comes out and Twilight is no longer relevant, just so the internet will shut up about how much they hate it.

[–]DomasPiragas 4 points5 points ago

Is it still cool to HATE Twilight?

[–]mackinoncougars 1 point2 points ago

you slowly put away Team Jacob t-shirt

[–]FuschiaKnight 12 points13 points ago

Wow. So fucking Brave.

[–]Maester_Hodor 1 point2 points ago

Can someone make a wallpaper out of this? 1920x1080 if it please you

[–]Rulebook_Lawyer 1 point2 points ago

I wasn't going to see the movie... but after seeing this image; I think I will as a comedy.

[–]haphaestusmm 1 point2 points ago

I would have liked the movie better if it were modern and the Vampires were hipsters

[–]fungshei 1 point2 points ago

RUN EDWARD RUN! wait

RUN ABE RUN! GET HIM GOOD

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

how did i NOT make this connection?!

[–]Scup 1 point2 points ago

People still care about twilight?

[–]apeman88 1 point2 points ago

I don't know...that Axe looks fake to me.

[–]t4nt4lus 1 point2 points ago

Abraham Lincoln would roll over in his grave if he knew the crap we have today on television and cinema.

And then they say that piracy is destroying the business...

HOGWASH I tell you!

[–]Rofl_Troll 1 point2 points ago

I thought it was Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter not Abraham Lincoln sparkle remover.

[–]Rellikten 1 point2 points ago

Nice try Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter viral marketing team

[–]trousershorts 1 point2 points ago

Please, everyone, LET'S CHEER ON HONEST ABE!

[–]SlightMisquote 1 point2 points ago

"A friend is one who kills the same enemies as you."

  • Abraham Lincoln

[–]chum_guzzler 4 points5 points ago

The only time I ever hear about twilight is on reddit.

[–]Apostolate 2 points3 points ago

But the world must know of my impotent rage.

[–]tfgot 4 points5 points ago

Personal favorite: http://i.imgur.com/3O73v.jpg

[–]non_anonymous 2 points3 points ago

Coming soon in 3D.