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I have jury duty today... (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by MathJammer

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[–]jesusfvck 20 points21 points ago

Am I the only one who wants jury duty? All my life I have been hoping for that letter in the mail. I actually finally got one a few months back but I moved out from the city to the county the next week and wasn't qualified anymore... Fuck!

[–]nerrrmmal 6 points7 points ago

I wanted to be on one really badly. Then I got summoned. It was a fucking death penalty case and out of 400+ potential jurors, I got picked. Those next few weeks were awful. Fuck jury duty.

[–]jesusfvck 3 points4 points ago

Fuck it because of the problem of having to deal with someone's life in your hands? Or because of the actual process of a trial? Or ?

[–]nerrrmmal 5 points6 points ago

For giving this person's life to 12 idiots, basically. I'm glad to have had the experience, but I hope I never have to again.

[–]jesusfvck 0 points1 point ago

Ahh, makes sense. Never thought about the ramifications emotionally, just really want to fulfill my civic duties (you know, besides military service because fuck that). Thanks for sharing!

[–]nerrrmmal 0 points1 point ago

I treated the selection process like it was a game, too. "Oh man, I can't believe I made it past the first cut, no way they'll actually pick me!" Nope, juror #10. I did manage to make the guy on trial laugh during voir dire, though. That was a little surreal.

(For what it's worth, we ended up being a mostly hung jury and the defendant is in jail for many, many more years to come.)

[–]Hefalumpkin 1 point2 points ago

I get full work pay for jury duty. I work 11 hour days. I get stoked for jury duty because I'll still get a full paycheck, paid for jury duty and you rarely get picked. So you are in and out in 2 hours tops and I lived right next to the court house so I would blaze up right before and kick it with my ipod and wait to leave.

[–]nerrrmmal 0 points1 point ago

JEALOUS. I was a retail-working college student at the time and only got paid something like 20 bucks a day from the state? Parking was also $5 a day, so, extra 25% cut. I usually begged anyone I knew to give me rides, and when sequestration started I had no idea when I'd be able to leave so I couldn't make any plans. Another juror actually gave me a ride home though! Anyways, my point being that your experience(s?) is a vastly different take on it and I'm super jealous :(

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]jesusfvck 1 point2 points ago

If you are registered to vote you are on "the list".

[–]Mclarenf1905 0 points1 point ago

I got called for grand jury 2 years ago and it was amazing experience. I really hope I get selected for Jury Duty again sometime.

[–]DorkPassenger 0 points1 point ago

Nope, I love jury duty. I get paid salary, so it doesn't really matter as far as work goes (they don't even reduce my pay by what they pay for jury duty, which is like $25 a day or something worthless like that).

I got called once for a double murder thing (not picked, they of course look for very specific profiles in their jurors), then next time they canceled it and let me go early in the morning (I couldn't find anything interesting to do, so I just went back to work).

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

http://imgur.com/0HYY1

[–]mysticdickstick 1 point2 points ago

Word, bro!

[–]eagleapex 16 points17 points ago

Do your duty!

[–]LordSwedish 5 points6 points ago

Is that the thing where you get paid for doing nothing? You poor soul.

Seriously, aside from the fact that it is a stupid system, jury duty seems awesome (as long as you're not an alternate)

You get to sit on a bench and potentially decide who lives and who dies...it seems like an okay change from your normal job.

[–]insidiousthought 3 points4 points ago

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read.

-Mark Twain

[–]Andrizzle 10 points11 points ago

FUNNN!

[–]basec0m 2 points3 points ago

I like that version better... can't find it.

[–]sharkbait_oohaha 4 points5 points ago

Jury duty is fucking awesome.

[–]TuskanBananas 1 point2 points ago

Why, you just get to sit there and judge people.

[–]DorkPassenger 0 points1 point ago

Why, you just get to sit there and judge people and the law.

FTFY

[–]LockeDOWN31 8 points9 points ago

Fuck John Lackey. Thanks for helping ruin the Sox. Oh, and classy move divorcing your wife as she battles cancer.

[–]TheVandyMan 0 points1 point ago

What am I missing here?

[–]LockeDOWN31 1 point2 points ago

The player in the .gif is John Lackey, now of the Boston Red Sox.

[–]TheVandyMan 0 points1 point ago

Oh, gotcha, yeah that is a dick move. What an asshole.

[–]Jenwrr 0 points1 point ago

Probably his comment/post history.

[–]mowens87 2 points3 points ago

I actually like jury duty. I'm kind of a sick in that way.

[–]Defendprivacy 2 points3 points ago

Not sure why people hate Jury duty. You get to hang out at the Courthouse, send some scumbag to jail, or refuse to convict some guy who got stopped with a bag of weed. You might get to stick it to some insurance company or look at gruesome crime scene photos. All in all, better than a day at work!

[–]aggatt 1 point2 points ago

But it actually can be kind of fun! Just hope you get seated for a short and interesting trial. I thought it was kind of neat to observe the whole process.

[–]neodiogenes 1 point2 points ago

I suppose it depends on where you are asked to serve. The few times I've been, it's been a fairly straightforward and efficient process, and extremely educational. All in all it led me to have much more faith in the justice system.

Just hope you don't get selected as an alternate juror. You have to sit through all the proceedings and, unless someone drops out before the end, you aren't allowed to even participate in deliberations or make a decision on the verdict. Torture.

[–]H483R 1 point2 points ago

I'm sure I can't be the only person that enjoys jury duty.

[–]illfuckstartyourhead 2 points3 points ago

Protip: If you want out, mention "jury nullification" during the selection process.

[–]tresser 2 points3 points ago

they rarely give people the opportunity to bring the phrase up anymore.

but honestly, why would you want to not serve? Especially with having the power of jury nullification to go against 11 other people that might find something prison worthy, while you do not?

[–]illfuckstartyourhead 1 point2 points ago

Just sayin. Every time I've been in selection, I've been asked something to the effect of, "Is there any reason why you wouldn't vote for a guilty verdict if the evidence shows beyond a reasonable doubt that X law was broken?" I'm also of the opinion that the judges and prosecutors reaction in that situation will make that many more people aware of jury nullification when they go home and google it to find out why the judge shit himself when it was mentioned.

[–]shitterplug 1 point2 points ago

Mention nullification, they'll pass right over.

I hate jury duty so much...

[–]redlinezo6 0 points1 point ago

Kenny Powers??

[–]FaroutIGE 0 points1 point ago

Good advice

[–]Valkyrie2 0 points1 point ago

I had Jury Duty today as well. Wasn't that bad.

[–]Kokzyl 0 points1 point ago

If its anything like that , I would do it everytime. ( Im not from 'merica)

[–]brianfile23 0 points1 point ago

Wear black and carry a Bible; you'll be out of there by lunch...

[–]Logan117 0 points1 point ago

I don't understand; isn't jury duty just a chance to to do in real life what you do all the time on the internet: judge people that you don't know and don't even really care about. I guess it is different in jury duty though, since you actually get the facts first.

[–]yyx9 0 points1 point ago

Genuine laugh, well done.

[–]CheddarWombat 0 points1 point ago

I unregistered to vote just to avoid jury duty. If it were optional, I'd be all for it. Forced? Nope.

[–]brooksjedi 0 points1 point ago

EASY way to get out of jury duty, answer every question with "according to the prophecy"

[–]DorkPassenger 1 point2 points ago

If you do things like that, the judge may have you stand up and grill you about your beliefs and try to reason you into doing the job properly. I've seen it done twice. They aren't fucking around and they've seen all the tricks.

If you want out, just be rational and vocal. Ask the lawyers for clarification on specific points (when the offer a definition, get them to specify who's definition it is, and ask whether you are legally bound to use it (you aren't of course, but ask anyway)).

If you have professional knowledge relevant to the case use it. There was a medical professional in a jury pool I was in, which was in selection for a murder trial in which autopsy reports would be presented as part of evidence. They had to ask her whether she would be able to ignore her expertise in that field, even if on examining the report she had a professional opinion that differed from the report.

Generally, rational and vocal will be sufficient to have you out of there pretty quick, but it really depends on the cases they are selecting for.

[–]Devin_46290 0 points1 point ago

It could be worse. I have a court date tommarow.

[–]sandy_catheter 0 points1 point ago

I hope your spelling isn't on trial, cause that shit GUILTY.

[–]philobasileus 0 points1 point ago

Get ready!

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lk7zez8j5E1qazkdco1_500.gif

[–]citizenp 0 points1 point ago

Just mention Jury Nullification and you'll get kicked off in a hurry.

[–]p1415926 0 points1 point ago

As a non-American, I have no idea why uneducated civilians with no experience of legal matters or the justice system should even be allowed in a court room. Let alone decide anything.

[–]Saluki_nerd 0 points1 point ago

I had jury duty during the '08 olympics. Sat around all day for 2 days getting paid to watch the olympics (although not much).

There are easy ways to get passed over if you do get picked and questioned. If you are college educated, have a competent understanding of the law, or show signs of making a rational decision rather than an emotional decision most lawyers will not pick you.

Edit: I love spell check

[–]Blown_Ranger 3 points4 points ago

college educated

compitant

[–]Saluki_nerd 0 points1 point ago

I haven't gone a day without spell check for at least half a decade, and now I work in an office with IE8, so no spell check.

[–]DorkPassenger 0 points1 point ago

Truth.

We all laughed at one guy in our jury pool. The lawyer asked if anyone had ever had problems with the police. One guy raised his hand 'I had a cop stalking me at one time'. The lawyer waited half a beat to see if more info was forthcoming. 'Ok,' says she, nodding sagely, looking around to see if anyone else wanted to speak up. 'Course, I was dating his wife,' the man drawls. Laughter fills the court room. 'Well,' the judge says after the chortling dies down, 'that'd do it'.

That guy got picked.

[–]enragedvujiji 0 points1 point ago

I feel sorry for you, after seeing how people acted during my jury selection i lost all faith in the justice system.

[–]DorkPassenger 1 point2 points ago

Interesting, I had completely the opposite experience. I was impressed at how people acted.

On the other had, I was appalled at the group they actually picked. I mean, they are professionals picking based on their experience and strategy, and I'm sure they are doing it with knowledge I lack, but OMFG, those are NOT the people I want to see on the jury if ever I am a defendant.

[–]SexualArtillery 0 points1 point ago

whatever, guilty

[–]thehonz -1 points0 points ago

The attorneys that participate in the voir dire basically told us we could skip jury duty for the rest of our lives if we wanted.

They said that that the court won't even come after you unless enough people don't show up and that hasn't happened for over a decade.

Even then, they'd have to prove that you even GOT the summons in the first place so most counties won't even go through the trouble.

[–]Decyde -1 points0 points ago

I had jury duty twice in a month. First time I showed up and sat around for 2 hours and was dismissed. The second time, I got interviewed and when I told them I was graduating college and had an understanding of employment law, the defense dismissed me. 2 months later, a coworker of mine was on jury duty and I told her she was getting on every trial that she was selected for. She ended up getting selected on both trials she was interviewed for and asked me how I knew. I told her she was a nice person who sees good in everyone and very religious....

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