This is about how my first job interview went...

StevenXC · 2 months

"My biggest weakness is being such a workaholic. I guess you could say I'm an all-work and no-play kind of guy."

caboose1234 · 2 months

Honesty is sadly not always the best policy, especially in job interviews.

KillaMarci · 2 months

Honestly the whole job interview thing just feels like one giant circlejerk...

Lord_Vectron · 2 months

I'm anxiously waiting for a call to confirm if i got an awesome job or not. I so wanted to say this in the interview but thankfully i went with the usual bullshit so fingers crossed.

koryface · 2 months

During my last interview while walking back from lunch with the team I hoped to join, I was talking about how I was sick of "the iron man" pose. You know, where the guy lands crouching down on one knee and with one fist on the ground. I imitated it for them, and split my pants. Knee to crotch. Had to buy pants before continuing.

I got the job.

wArchi · 2 months

That window doesn't actually exist.

TheJayP · 2 months

I love when I watch a movie recently and then there is a post about it on reddit. It's like the Internet set it up to make me feel better about wasting my time online.

Gellert · 2 months

I recently went on a course at a factory quite some distance from my own. The guy doing the course used to be a production manager and tells us a story about a time he went to a Yamaha factory. He asked the head of HR how they pick their workers since they all seemed really into the job.

Guy asked if he wanted the offical or unofficial version.

Unofficial.

We take the applications, remove all the people over thirty, remove all the people with less than two dependants. Then we interview, try to find out if they're in debt. We hire those guys, they're hungry for it, they may not like the job but they can't afford not to do it.

Lopkop · 2 months

This is what I hate about job interviews. It feels like this should be the entirety of what goes into it. I hate having to write up a CV using all kinds of buzzwords and paragraphs of horseshit about how "I'd love to be a part of a great team and I have always had a passion for advertising/marketing (or whatever)...I'd love to learn how your organization works and improve my skills so I can become a cornerstone of success for the company".

It should just be, "I can do this. You need someone who can do this. Match made, how much will you pay me?"

SpectrumKing · 2 months

Recently applied for a $1200 per month job. Received a response asking if I have a bachelor's degree and two professional certifications "as they are required for the position in question." Hilarious.

thefourthhouse · 2 months

Why isn't this acceptable to do? It's the truth.

TeacherManCT · 2 months

Back in the 90's I was a manager for the tech support area of a software company. My two non-canned questions were as follows: "How do you deal with stress?" and "Right now if a Martian walked into the room with an ATM card and needed help, what would you do?". The first was asked because it was a fairly high stress environment and I wanted people to have a release. One guy told me he never ever gets stressed and I told him right there he wasn't for us as I didn't want to see him mentally explode.

The second question was to see of the person could logically think through the steps of assisting someone who needed help with a very common activity. The woman who started her response with "First, does the Martian speak English and is it familiar with base 10?" had a great answer and was hired. The guy who said "I'd take the ATM card and get money for him" didn't.

Edit -typo

electricfoxx · 2 months

"It's a problem of motivation, alright..."

Cheffinator · 2 months

"And then when I got the job, I tried to kill my family, hah!"

smokingbanman · 2 months

I got asked in a interview, Where would you like to be in 5 years time? I said Australia

AcolyteRB2 · 2 months

try doing something you love. be bold.

mindoculus · 2 months

I wish it could be this honest. But noooo . . . he wanted to know about my 'prior experience'. No wonder I'm still unemployed.

AngusYoung93 · 2 months

Everyone here is just doing it wrong. When I interview people, I throw out 50% of all applicants immediately. This is to weed out unlucky people.

Sometimes I just pick one at random and hire them. They're almost guaranteed to be the luckiest person.

luparb · 2 months

I'm not unemployed because I don't want to work...

I'm unemployed because I am incapable of sycophancy.

Lunatcharsky · 2 months

It's just a test: how effectively can you bullshit someone. Did you read the expected answers and can you paraphrase them enough? Eloquence and the capability to lie to someones face are key skills in modern work environments.

Rad_Spencer · 2 months

Jack doesn't get the job, then Jack bitches about the economy.....

GenKan · 2 months

My fist:

boss: So... Whats your motivation?

me: how much are you paying me per hour?

boss: this amount

me: yes, that is my motivation!

frankhorriganlovesto · 2 months

I recently got two questions on a personality test which were "yes" or "no" questions. First one which I found absurdly inappropriate was "have you ever said anything hateful to a relative". The second question which I felt was also unfair was "do you feel that at times people in power can be authoritative or dogmatic?" I must've bombed with one by saying yes to both questions, they also made me feel like a fucking asshole.

th3b3arj3w · 2 months

If only it was that easy.....

Bishopkilljoy · 2 months

I hate it when application ask stuff like "What are you hobbies when not working?" what do they expect me to say? I work more? Na I play video games

scaryymary · 2 months

I got really lucky with my current job. The manager basically asked me what 5 - 4.23 is, to see if I could calculate change without a machine. Apparently I was the first one to get it right. o.O

fizzl · 2 months

Ahh... Good ole Nicholson. I'm actually reading The Shining right now. Working m way through all the King books which were made into movies.

plunderous_athause · 2 months

As someone who's interviewed people for a job before, I can give a little insider information. SOMETIMES we're looking for how well you can bullshit, because it requires a bit of intelligence, forethought, and social skills to craft a believable set of "flaws" but turn it into a positive. When you've got a guy who crafts a sentence like StevenXC versus a guy who tells me he shows up to work late all the time, it makes the decision that much easier. Food for thought. EDIT: for clarity.

bgv3efcd · 2 months

I think it's sad that even with nearly an unlimited number of complaints about job interviews... the job interviewers still don't seem to understand that they are fucking retarded.

Are you in HR? You are fucking RETARDED. Do you do the interviews for your company? YOU ARE FUCKING RETARDED. No, really. You are mentally deficient. Unless you work for one of very top tier companies in the world, you are a fucking MORON.

Your company exists because it's now turn-key, probably because it got a start back in the fucking day. You could hire people blind-folded and your shitty company would still function.

So, why don't you stop being fucking IDIOTS and stop asking SHITTY questions?

Icebear8 · 2 months

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=se0HnTUTOMY

redditchao999 · 2 months

And then you tried to murder your family with an axe?

computeridiot · 2 months

I am so going to try that because I am so sure he got that job!

LAWLZZZ · 2 months

Did you end up a murderer also?

2 months

[deleted]

LionSlicer86 · 2 months

It might be because I'm tired, but I could not stop laughing at this for about 5 minutes.

IIspyglassII · 2 months

better then how my interview went, mine somehow went onto how sexy the disney female characters are.....

staythepath · 2 months

I don't get why the ask questions in interviews that most people lie about. They don't ever end up hiring that small percent that is being genuine about wanting to be a restaurant manager for the rest of their life. They hire the person who is best at lying about wanting to be a restaurant manager for the rest of their life. That other fuck is clearly insane.

Kar98_Byf42 · 2 months

It's how they all go, no?

correctedgordon · 2 months

Today was my first job interview. I really hope I get the job...

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