Different perspectives

MissAnthroPee · 2 months

this makes me happy AND sad.

FlamingBagOfPoop · 2 months

In high school I worked as a grocery bagger, a coworker got fired because he was eating a donut for our bakery and couldn't produce a receipt. They didn't like him and were looking for a reason. Stealing is a good reason. So keep your receipt!

iamashark · 2 months

Mitch's follow up was pretty great too. When he envisioned a scenario that he had to prove that he had bought a donut:

"Hey man! Don't you even act like I didn't buy this donut! I have the receipt... damn ... I forgot it... at home... in the filing cabinet... under D... for donut.

Ihmhi · 2 months

I guess I'll be the first to say it, then...

I know Mitch Hedburg, but who's the second guy? I always love checking out stand up comics that I haven't seen before.

LusciousDanielle · 2 months

both of these men are dead, yes?

demon_ix · 2 months

There was a story on reddit a while ago about a guy who spent a few years in prison for kidnapping, raping and abusing his ex-wife while he was in town to visit their son. If he hadn't been filmed by the security cameras of the bank he went into and if the dude at the bagel shop he went to, he'd probably still be locked up.

Turns out the ex-wife made the whole thing up to get full custody of the kid, and went as far as abusing herself with a coat hanger to make him seem guilty. If it wasn't for a detective who actually went through his schedule during that day and figured out the times don't match, she would have succeeded too.

The guy finished the article by saying that he always tried to get photographed by security cameras since being released, because he's afraid to not have an alibi. He says the time he feels least secure is when he's alone at home, because no one can corroborate where he's been for that time.

Edit - Found it. Story. It was an ex-gf, not wife.

Edit 2 - After re-reading it, turns out it was a few weeks in jail, not years in prison. My bad.

Midiex · 2 months

R.I.P. guys. You were both hilarious.

Mitch was just high.

multile · 2 months

Interesting fact, most places give receipts to make sure that their cashiers actually record the transactions in the computer instead of pocketing the money. That's why it's free if you don't receive a receipt, that way you are the one actually enforcing this policy.

Of course they would only get away with pocketing the money if you pay the exact amount. Otherwise they would have to give you change and throw off their whole till.

ngtstkr · 2 months

Tim Horton's doesn't give receipts. Fuck.

Amerikai · 2 months

Patrice o Neal is a legend

ill_take_two · 2 months

Got a couple of tips to help you guys stay out of jail. One: try your hardest to not be Black or Hispanic.

Yaheee · 2 months

RIP Mitch. Best joke of all time is the escalator.

Revolutionary2012 · 2 months

link for mitch..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X53ksjejmns

Peace_139 · 2 months

It's like the dead people are talking to each other O_O.

abravefight · 2 months

The whole thing Patrice does is a lot better. He talks about how he just won't throw away a pop can unless he knows it's in the garbage. All because If some pretty white girl gets killed, and he was a litter bug who didn't dispose of his can properly, suddenly there's DNA evidence that a 6'4" black man was RIGHT NEXT TO HER when she died. BAM. Instant Jail.

Seref15 · 2 months

I'm actually listening to Patrice on O&A recordings right now. Funny motherfucker.

SuperShake66652 · 2 months

RIP Mitch and Patrice.

Great comedians taken far sooner than they should have been.

yeeerrrp · 2 months

sthsthsth · 2 months

Sadly, the reason behind Patrice's paranoia if you want to call it that, is based off an awful incident that happened to him as a teenager. It ended with him being accused of rape and spending time in prison for it. He told the story on Opie and Anthony a few years ago and he was so broken up when he talked about it.

noccusJohnstein · 2 months

Mitch Hedberd wasn't black, and thus, would never need an alibi.

a_used_name · 2 months

Haha I guess Mitch never imagined a scenario that he killed someone

xstr8edgeveganx · 2 months

2 of the greatest comics, unfortunately departed.

iLuVtiffany · 2 months

Well Patrice is black so an alibi would come in handy.

AlphaRedditor · 2 months

The best comedy makes you laugh about something that would normally make you cry.

Szos · 2 months

Two of the best, and both gone way the hell too early.

joeslo · 2 months

R.I.P. Patrice

FreeUpVotesForYou · 2 months

"Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut! I got the documentation right here...oh, wait it's at home...in the file...under "D", for "doughnut."

Stevoh · 2 months

What if you but a doughnut, then several hours later you become deathly ill. You find out the doughnut shop purposely poisoned the doughnuts and a few customers even died.

Now you need proof you bought a doughnut.

err4nt · 2 months

What I love about comedy is that they are both right, and both funny. All comedy is making light of human suffering in one way or another - receipts or the lack of receipts can cause suffering in different ways depending on your lifestyle :)

moviedude26 · 2 months

Good call Patrice. Good call.

BadIdeaSociety · 2 months

Love Patrice. Only sort of like Mitch.

I feel like Patrice's takes on 2000-2011 politics and social issues will be viewed much better than Mitch's funny, but ultimately simple observational commentary.

I hope that we don't have to bury any more quality comedians in the near future. Doug Stanhope... Louis CK.... stay healthy, guys.

John_Barleycorn · 2 months

Back in 2006 when the Duke Lacrosse players were accused of raping those two strippers, one of the key pieces of evidence that exonerated them was an ATM receipt from an ATM across town. There was no way that one of the players could simultaneously be raping the stripper and withdrawing cash to pay her with at the same time.

ETA: Source

blinkdmb · 2 months

RIP Patrice

supersonicsongbird · 2 months

In Italy we have a huge problem with tax evasion - I make sure I ALWAYS get a receipt for anything I buy, even a coffee. Every receipt not given is more money that doesn't go to the government, and it's one more step towards even higher taxes for the honest.

Sepelius · 2 months

Patrice called me an asshole when I was on webjunk... it was a thing we did. R.I.P. both guys.

MorganFreemansPenis · 2 months

From an accounting perspective. If you dont get a receipt, the cashier could just pocket the money and there would be no proof that a donut was ever bought.

CaptainColeslaw · 2 months

durant0s · 2 months

Gotta love Mitch!

Situationalist · 2 months

I have always wondered.. Who actually sits down and takes the time to make these types of images?

funny

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