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all 10 comments

[–]bookwench 1 point2 points ago

They're not atheist. We're their gods.

[–]bogan 1 point2 points ago

Bow down before the goddess human!

[–]bookwench 1 point2 points ago

I've watched my cats lick their own anus. There is nothing sacred or holy about them.... except maybe their flexibility.

[–]bogan 1 point2 points ago

Sometimes if I reflect on the relationship between the two species when I'm cleaning a litter box I remember a comic I saw years ago. I think it was a Garfield comic that went something like so:

Garfield: John feeds me, provides me a home, and cleans my litter box.

Other character: And what does he get for that?

Garfield: He gets to call himself "master."

[–]bookwench 2 points3 points ago

Cats don't have masters. We are their gods; some of us are kind gods, and some are cruel ones. Some of us provide cuddles and food and warm spots. Some of us cut their paws to remove their claws. Some of us pull their tails and hurt their spines. Some of us give them catnip. Some of us steal their children. Some of us drown them. Sometimes we're angry for no reason they can understand; we insist on strange behaviours with regards to bodily functions and perform esoteric acts they can never hope to comprehend.

Gods. It's the only explanation.

[–]bogan 0 points1 point ago

I can't argue with that.

[–]bookwench 2 points3 points ago

This is /r/atheism! You're contractually obligated to argue with me here! Damnit... ;)

[–]bogan 0 points1 point ago

Well, if I'm in danger of being thrown out of the club for seeing validity in your posting, I suppose I could quote Christopher Hitchens:

Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.

― Christopher Hitchens, The Portable Atheist: Essential Readings for the Nonbeliever

[–]DeadGuyKai 1 point2 points ago

Cats don't need Jesus. They all already think they are god.

[–]CunningDroid 0 points1 point ago

No. I'm not. I said above that I believe in God.