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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]xWarheart 815 points816 points ago

Effectively doubling it's weight and still ruining your floor.

[–]tatanka_truck 379 points380 points ago

all while eliminating leg room.

[–]SamuraiRat 154 points155 points ago

About as strange as finding one of these guys for sale....

[–]aeternus828 20 points21 points ago

"have already cooked 1"

uhm what?

[–]MrKrinkle151 14 points15 points ago

The nest was only 6 feet up, so for their safety we adopted and ate them.

[–]n_choose_k 2 points3 points ago

Meat is murder... tasty, tasty murder.

[–]Zerothe0 1 point2 points ago

I thought the same thing. Those things are so small, they don't even have meat in them wtf.

[–]eyeoutthere 30 points31 points ago

Also great for amputating the fingers of children.

[–]unmoralOp 18 points19 points ago

And most humans.

[–]ArtifexQ 4 points5 points ago

"cooked 1 and sold 3 on craigslist"

Heartless.

[–]Sparrow475 4 points5 points ago

I know right? There are some messed up people on craigslist.

[–]Se7en_Sinner 208 points209 points ago

It's made for homeless people who need exercise.

[–]dszordan 120 points121 points ago

An untapped market. I keep telling investors and they just keep throwing me to the curb.

[–]ForumWarrior 98 points99 points ago

I was always thinking of turning homeless, poor, and fat people into a source of power. Like, create a powerstation that produces electricity from man-powered turbines. For disabled and heavy people, you just have a ramp leading to a lift. They roll or walk onto the lift, and the lift lowers them back to the ground.

Since they are essentially working out all day, they're going to be hungry as hell. So you have a cafeteria and you sell them food to recoup part of the cost of paying them.

Kinda makes me wonder if a man-powered power station could be profitable. Hell, you might be able to sell memberships and pawn it off as a gym. You could even put mentally disabled people to work here. Just chain em to a 20-man turbine and let them walk in circles for hours.

Got kids? Bring em to work. Let them play with a bunch of kinetic toys that also make power.

This place wouldn't even need to turn a profit. If you broke even, call it a non profit. Not only are you making people less fat, but you're giving money to poor people and churning out electricity.

Thinking about it, this would be like a gym that pays you to work out.

[–]PhallogicalScholar 58 points59 points ago

They roll or walk onto the lift

I lost my shit at this at first but then I realized you were referring to wheelchairs and not fat people.

[–]ForumWarrior 15 points16 points ago

What about fat people in wheelchairs?

[–]aardvarkarmorer 97 points98 points ago

I think you've devised the least efficient system of creating energy ever.

[–]pizooozooo 16 points17 points ago

It's so crazy it just might work

[–]sun827 5 points6 points ago

Or the most efficient prison ever.

[–]eyeoutthere 10 points11 points ago

I think it would be most efficient to simply burn homeless people in an organic waste incinerator.

I calculate that each 150lb homeless person would generate over 2 kWh of electricity through burning. That is enough to power your average household refrigerator for over 2 days!

[–]AceEnigmaX 2 points3 points ago

This will be AFTER we're out of nonrenewable energy, of course. :P

[–]WaaWaaWooHoo 13 points14 points ago

The English already had that idea, they called it a treadmill and put prisoners on it to grind grains. They were on it 8 hours per day and got punished when they fell off. (http://www.tasmaniavisitorsguide.com.au/port_arthur.php)

[–]TheSelfGoverned 12 points13 points ago

they called it a treadmill

TIL

[–]PaulVene1 13 points14 points ago

<You could even put mentally disabled people to work here. Just chain em to a 20-man turbine and let them walk in circles for hours.>

I have never laughed so hard in my life.

[–]McJagger88 2 points3 points ago

Tl;dr: let's use the obese, the disabled, and our children to create jobs and electrical power

[–]tigerbird 2 points3 points ago

In the long term, they physically couldn't produce more than 2000 Calories of energy a day on a normal diet. They could probably produce more energy per hour, and therefore be paid more, by mining coal or gas or oil.

Edit: It would actually cost poor people money to produce electricity in this way. If you burn 100 Calories in the gym, and 100% of this energy is captured and converted into electricity, that is 418,400 Joules or about .12 Kilowatt hours. At current prices (often between 8 and 16 cents per kilowatt hour), this would yield 1 to 2 cents of income per 100 Calories burned. And to make money by doing this, they would need a food source that can provide 100 Calories of energy that costs less than 1 to 2 cents.

[–]Kensin 12 points13 points ago

Yeah all the homeless people I know are worried about their figure, but don't have the time to get out to the gym!

[–]great_gape 7 points8 points ago

It also looks like you really have to power into it to make it move and if you can pull that off why not just lift it.

[–]vinylstalker 5 points6 points ago

It looks like the legs lift, so it shouldn't ruin your floor.

[–]gamelizard 1 point2 points ago

it obviously is one of those kenetict art pieces.

[–]taninecz 1 point2 points ago

and making it impossible for many people to just fucking lift it.

[–]moelost 1 point2 points ago

I hear they make wheels for this kind of purpose. That even lock!

[–]LoggedInJust2UpvoteU 1 point2 points ago

I'm sure this is some sort of prototype. It will probably be enhanced, made more efficient, lighter, better at ruining floor, etc.

[–]teh_tg 1 point2 points ago

My table is almost 1,000 lb. Its legs are two large polished granite blocks, like tombstones (30" x 30" X 4"). I designed and built it myself. It is composed of granite, stainless steel, glass, and nothing else ;)

I figure my floor is already toast if I ever have to sell my house

[–]AlphaRedditor 1196 points1197 points ago

You know what else could help you move it? Wheels.

[–]THANE_OF_ANN_ARBOR 622 points623 points ago

Why employ easy solutions when you can easily implement unreasonably complex ones?

[–]webby_mc_webberson 262 points263 points ago

Because otherwise you're not going to pass your Wood Work and Design class.

[–]bigandrewgold 96 points97 points ago

Throw this on a trebuchet and you will pass your physics class.

[–]ForumWarrior 63 points64 points ago

A spider-walking trebuchet?

[–]andytuba 34 points35 points ago

Great for rough terrain. I believe the US or Israeli armed forces or somebody is now employing spiderbot "donkeys" for hauling equipment through forests and in Costa Rica.

[–]ElectronFlow 54 points55 points ago

That robots called Big Dog

[–]SpaceWorld 72 points73 points ago

Any time someone posts a picture or video of Big Dog, I always have to take a minute to make sure it's not just two guys in a costume.

[–]bigthink 20 points21 points ago

Thank you for that.

[–]Muhfugguh 7 points8 points ago

Thank you for thanking him for that before I could thank him for that.

[–]Merrep 13 points14 points ago

After just watching the video of the actual robot, it took me until well after they'd kicked it over to realise this video was two guys in tights (though I suppose I should have realised this from your description). It's terrifying how animal-like the real robot is when it recovers from being knocked or put on a slippy surface.

[–]huhtamaki 39 points40 points ago

Soooooo Metal Gear Solid.

[–]TheSumOfAllSteers 12 points13 points ago

Moo.

[–]ChillGrasper 2 points3 points ago

I'm impressed we've made it this far without a complaint about using the word through instead of throw.

[–]natophonic 16 points17 points ago

The picture doesn't really do justice to the utter creepiness of it prancing around, or the amazingness of it recovering from being kicked or slipping on ice.

See here

[–]adamdavidson 10 points11 points ago

[–]agemomon 13 points14 points ago

The afghans use a version that doesn't need a loud electricity generator. Its called a mule.

[–]VoiceOfInternet_haha 13 points14 points ago

I just had a horrible, horrible thought. A trebuchet that throws spiders. Reddit's worst nightmare.

Preemptive 'fuck you' to that spider links novelty if he decides to show up here.

[–]thehomie 15 points16 points ago

Ask this guy.

[–]ItsReallyJustAHorse 38 points39 points ago

[–]turinturambar81 24 points25 points ago

That was not a horse.

[–]WuzzupPotato 31 points32 points ago

Fuck yeah

FTFY

[–]MnBran6 20 points21 points ago

Why was this even purple for me?

[–]calic 8 points9 points ago

This is actually not a bad idea. Wheels on tables do not do well with grass

[–]lac29 4 points5 points ago

[–]Deddan 108 points109 points ago

Those rarely work on real spiders, btw. It's difficult enough making skates that small.

[–]abledanger 41 points42 points ago

Can somebody with a real Tarantula please make a set of roller skates for it?

[–]fargosucks 29 points30 points ago

Next you're gonna suggest somebody strap laser beams to their heads. ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US ALL KILLED?!

[–]Mystery_Hours 1 point2 points ago

Are they ill-tempered?

[–]Vogelscheuche 15 points16 points ago

Holy fucking terrifying, batman!

[–]mr612 11 points12 points ago

[–]Lord_of_Womba 9 points10 points ago

[–]A_fucking_moron 41 points42 points ago

HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU PUT WHEELES ON SPIDERS DUMASS YOUDE KILL THEM IN THE PROCESS AND HOW DO YOU MAKE A WHEELE THAT SMAL?

[–]rojano17 25 points26 points ago

Upvote because after i was done reading your comment all i could think was "holy shit what a fucking moron"

[–]mrjaksauce 4 points5 points ago

Sometimes I upvote purely because people didn't look at the username. The post and username do nothing for me, but I upvoted because other people are dumb. Yay for my self-righteous twaddle!

[–]JUST_GIVE_IT_A_TRY 31 points32 points ago

What if you don't want it moving unexpectedly?

[–]RobinPerris 43 points44 points ago

Handbrake?

[–]huber14 2 points3 points ago

They have these things called brakes.

[–]SunTzuOfFucking 14 points15 points ago

Because this table is designed so it can be pushed without tipping it over. Wheels are in constant contact with the ground and in the event of friction like rough terrain, grass, or other similar situations where wheels wouldn't spin that well - the table would tip over.

This design takes advantage of the fact that a torque on the table basically converts into the legs moving as opposed to the table moving.

It's a way better design, maybe a little slow for my tastes, but it has advantages over wheels.

/Engineering101

[–]itsSparkky 7 points8 points ago

You know how I know you're not an engineer

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]AlphaRedditor 119 points120 points ago

I fucking know I am.

[–]Jzkqm 82 points83 points ago

Woah, bro, I don't want any trouble.

[–]Banatza 42 points43 points ago

beta response

[–]andytuba 12 points13 points ago

Release candidate response: "Here, have a beer."

[–]Omega52 14 points15 points ago

I sense a new era approaching.

[–]Pie_Face 10 points11 points ago

Have you met OmegaRedditor? That guy would end you.

[–]The_Dirty_Carl 3 points4 points ago

Wheels is the engineer-at-work solution. Spider Table is the engineer-at-home solution.

[–]llDemonll 2 points3 points ago

Or a friend, but we know how that goes around here..

[–]GlenMYoshioka 2 points3 points ago

This design is based on Theo Jansen's work: http://www.strandbeest.com/ The advantage is that it can move better on soft (sand/dirt) surfaces and it won't inadvertently role around. Also, it's badass.

[–]SOMETHING_POTATO 1 point2 points ago

I can see this being practical for wooden picnic tables like you'd have in a field. Wheels wouldn't work well for grass.

[–]zangorn 1 point2 points ago

Yea but, he's outside in the grass and dirt.

[–]Bigchevrs 1 point2 points ago

Fuck you and your fucking wheels that's why

[–]monkeyhoo 86 points87 points ago

[–]TheDroopy[!] 9 points10 points ago

That was so weird but so interesting.

[–]kay_em_cee 5 points6 points ago

You can buy a miniature version to build yourself! http://www.strandbeest.com/shop/index.php

[–]wwj 2 points3 points ago

Years ago I visited his shop where he builds the "Strandbeest". Some of the ideas where fairly complex like compressed air energy storage and automatic anchors.

[–]Princeps12 1 point2 points ago

Yup, you won.

[–]Alatorr 1 point2 points ago

That's oddly fascinating. I love how he treats them as real animals.

[–]EthanXD 1 point2 points ago

thankyou for this.

[–]NullPoint84 1 point2 points ago

upvote for love of Theo Jansen

[–]isnortcheerioz 43 points44 points ago

And the only thing I can think of is the spider-carriage from Beauty and the Beast.

[–]maverick_adam 9 points10 points ago

I was thinking just that! I remember that thing creeping the hell out of me as a kid haha

[–]joetromboni 110 points111 points ago

when I buy a table, the one thing I look for, is how mobile it is.

[–]Ghee_Buttersnaps_ 64 points65 points ago

So many, god damn, commas.

[–]phidel_kashflow 44 points45 points ago

Writing, like, he, speaks. Not, that, uncommon, on, the, internet.

  • Bill Shatner.

[–]Just_Livin_Life 12 points13 points ago

Writing like, he speaks. Not that, uncommon on the, internet.

[–]frissonFry 6 points7 points ago

She packed my bags... last night, pre-flight... ...Zero hour, nine A.M.

[–]klauskinski 2 points3 points ago

Come now! Shatner would have never put a pause between "the" and "internet." The one between "like" and "he" is also questionable.

[–]TarlofKoroba 4 points5 points ago

I've never understood why Bill is short for William. It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense! Edit:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[–]joetromboni 2 points3 points ago

Needs more, commas

[–]4dd4m 1 point2 points ago

You, made me, read it, in, his, voice.

Damn.

You.

[–]Olliebird 5 points6 points ago

The inferred pause that your extra comma added made that statement much more dramatic.

[–]everfalling 69 points70 points ago

[–]gizza 1 point2 points ago

Wow, that video really makes it look a lot harder than it would be to just pick it up and carry it. I like how on the pier a tiny little bump was enough to stop it.

[–]Drunken_Economist 196 points197 points ago

I call it, "The Finger-B-Gone!"

[–]YourOldBoyRickJames 35 points36 points ago

That's what they should have called that movie 'Teeth'

[–]SidMega 30 points31 points ago

uhm, but things other than fingers were "B-Gone'd" in "Teeth"

[–]mahacctissoawsum 7 points8 points ago

Only if you're a bad lover. I don't think I'd stick anything else in there once my finger went missing.

[–]stratplayer63 11 points12 points ago

That's stealing. I play that game with my girlfriend all the time..

[–]ArchZodiac 24 points25 points ago

Yeah? Well I play it with your mom.

hehe

[–]photonerdy 290 points291 points ago

You're not going anywhere.

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

[–]jacqueofalltrades 171 points172 points ago

HEY! Chill out.

┬─┬ノ( º _ ºノ)

[–]stave 97 points98 points ago

NEVER!

(╯°Д°)╯︵ ノ(.□ . ノ)

[–]jacqueofalltrades 93 points94 points ago

Help!

ノ(.□ . ノ)

[–]endingthread 34 points35 points ago

(╯°_°)╯︵ ¡dlǝH
There, now you can still read it.

[–][deleted] 65 points66 points ago

( 0 _ 0)
I could have stopped this...

[–]I_Fuck_Pigs 22 points23 points ago

We all miss our chances some times...

[–]endingthread 10 points11 points ago

Where were you man!? It's like a blood bath!

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

I was somewhere else.

I've begun to think I can't do this alone. We should begin the Comittee of Unified Non-Table-Flipping Upright Cautious Knowledgeable Effective Redditors. (CUNTFUCKER)

[–]Assaultman67 87 points88 points ago

8=D-----*ノ(.□ . ノ)

[–]ColumnMissing 58 points59 points ago

Well this escalated quickly.

[–]NathanArizona 63 points64 points ago

Calm down you two ಠಠ_ಠಠ

[–]robobrain10 67 points68 points ago

ಠಠಠಠ_ಠಠಠಠ

FTFY

[–]liberal_texan 54 points55 points ago

////\ಠಠಠಠ_ಠಠಠಠ/\

[–]liberal_texan 41 points42 points ago

.........////\ಠಠಠಠ_ಠಠಠಠ/\

[–]liberal_texan 34 points35 points ago

...............................................////\ಠಠಠಠ_ಠಠಠಠ/\

[–]liberal_texan 35 points36 points ago

.....................................................................////\ಠಠಠಠ_ಠಠಠಠ/\

[–]liberal_texan 34 points35 points ago

Goodbye, spider

[–]Acronomicon 4 points5 points ago

Did you just reply to yourself, and still got karma? What the fuck?

[–]snoharm 17 points18 points ago

           ._ o o
           \_`-)|_
        ,""       \ 
      ,"  ## |   ಠ ಠ. 
    ," ##   ,-\__    `.
  ,"       /     `--._;
,"     ## /

[–]jackwoww 23 points24 points ago

\(◎o◎)/!

[–]andytuba 19 points20 points ago

You taken any drugs tonight, son?

[–]pelanderfunk 22 points23 points ago

I would only pay for that if it moved under its own power and hunted and ate chairs and end tables to sustain itself.

[–]kk123433 2 points3 points ago

This needs more upvotes.

[–]blackguard 144 points145 points ago

that's creepy as hell, please burn this table.

[–]filmfiend999 25 points26 points ago

I don't know....I like it's attitude. The thing moves with attitude and should make an appearance on the catwalk. On the catwalk, yeah.

[–]leftpan 4 points5 points ago

In addition to his passion for the cinema, filmfiend999 is also a model. You know what I mean?

[–]filmfiend999 2 points3 points ago

There's no way I'm disco dancing.

[–]dlistblogger 6 points7 points ago

Watching that table move gives me the heebies

[–]Vranak 8 points9 points ago

what about the jeebies

[–]dlistblogger 8 points9 points ago

Yeah, those too. But not to the same extent

[–]Kenster180 7 points8 points ago

I imagine this being a pain in the ass or hilarious during an earthquake.

[–]TodaysTomSawyer7557 21 points22 points ago

A .Gif in r/pics? Seems legit.

[–]samneu6 5 points6 points ago

YOU HAD ONE JOB

[–]grinr 13 points14 points ago

I hate putting my legs under a table, so this will be perfect for me.

[–]ebs15 5 points6 points ago

Beauty and the Beast came up with this idea a long time ago

[–]KingKami 2 points3 points ago

Wild Wild West 2 trailer?

[–]Past_Your_Faptime 4 points5 points ago

Pics?

[–]LOUiS59 7 points8 points ago

Vsauce anyone?

[–]Gavalar 2 points3 points ago

Is this a picture is it?

[–]theconcretewave 2 points3 points ago

Oh you can move it forward and backwards? That's cool. Now move it left and right.

Ohwait.

[–]floral_disruptor 2 points3 points ago

No one made a Zoidberg joke yet? I'm shocked.

[–]Team_Khalifa 2 points3 points ago

That picture is moving! Who showed one of our pictures to the muggles?!?

[–]XPhazeX 2 points3 points ago

Not sure if Nope.

[–]mbluhm36420 20 points21 points ago

Nope nope nope

[–]JmjFu 2 points3 points ago

Ctrl+F "nope"

Oh reddit, you so predictable.

[–]21007 4 points5 points ago

Next time i need to push a table across a field, I'll remember to get a spider-table

[–]PhinixPhire 5 points6 points ago

Am I the only one who thinks this is freakin' awesome?!

[–]Subdivisions 1 point2 points ago

A table made for the forever alones out in the world.

[–]mcoulton 1 point2 points ago

is there anything theo jansens mechanism cannot do?

[–]Shamoodle 1 point2 points ago

Seems like a complex way to be lazy. Maybe....lift it?

[–]Matt08642 1 point2 points ago

Tables aren't that hard to move, plus this complicates things and introduces too many moving parts to an incredibly simple thing.

[–]ubertomm 1 point2 points ago

Now try moving it with a table top full of food/drinks.

[–]hooizyoo 1 point2 points ago

Ever heard of the term overengineered?

[–]lord_nougat 1 point2 points ago

Spider Table.

Does whatever a spider table does.

[–]Armonster 1 point2 points ago

Crab*

[–]Arizzletron 1 point2 points ago

First time I've ever purposely clicked a post with the word "spider" in the title. Was not disappoint.

[–]Strug-ga-ling 1 point2 points ago

I think the utility of this table is cancelled out by its creepiness.

[–]BunRabbit 1 point2 points ago

Or you and a friend can pick it up and move it.

[–]MojoLester 1 point2 points ago

Now imagine if you only saw the silhouette of the table moving.

Holy shit.

[–]young_whoada 1 point2 points ago

looks like it would be faster to just pick it up

[–]trystynsly 1 point2 points ago

Creepiest table ever.

[–]DJmerwin 1 point2 points ago

Kill it with fire!

[–]VidenTheColdOne 1 point2 points ago

never before have i been creeped out and in awe at the same time.

[–]suspicious_quote 1 point2 points ago

i don't know if I want to kill it with fire, or buy it with money

[–]featherbottom1 1 point2 points ago

I have now developed a fear of spider-tables.

[–]Multisyllabic 1 point2 points ago

So they are introducing 6th generation furniture pokemon!

[–]LoveForHarleyQuinn 1 point2 points ago

This is like one huge NOPE.

[–]get_logicated 1 point2 points ago

so that's how they built the pyramids. they put all the blocks on spider tables...naaaaah. aliens.

[–]stelladoll 1 point2 points ago

That reminds me of the carriage from Beauty and the Beast.

[–]BraDub 1 point2 points ago

Kill it! Kill it with fire!

[–]velkyr 1 point2 points ago

People are still using tables? When will people realize DIV is where it's at.

[–]Gpr1me 1 point2 points ago

This is so steampunk.

[–]anoxy 1 point2 points ago

[–]Xysten 1 point2 points ago

Kill it with fire!

[–]Jasdev 1 point2 points ago

NOPE

[–]Tea_in_the_sahara 1 point2 points ago

Oooo! A new tab-NOPE.

[–]wkrausmann 1 point2 points ago

I want one of these tables: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKv8AaHqsNY

[–]lt_hindu 1 point2 points ago

Seriously about time something happened to table designs. I mean come the fuck on! They have been around since the classical era you would have thought these assholes would have evolved into something more useful and convent rather than being stubborn fuckin fools.

[–]burntorangeboy 1 point2 points ago

Am I the only one who finds this terrifying?

[–]BootyhunterzX 1 point2 points ago

Wtf, this is nightmare fuel!

[–]Eyeamy0u 1 point2 points ago

So months and months ago I modeled this exact table in Softimage/Autodesk XSI (a CG animation package) I was searching "steam punk table" and I came across an Ikea looking picture of this table.

Anywho, I saw this holy Jesus fucking gif just now and my mind is blown. I work at a studio with a 3D printer. I'm determined to get this printed out and see if it works the same. I'll post follow ups if anyone gives a shit. You hate me Reddit. But I still love you.

Also, I'm at a solid [8].