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all 159 comments

[–]CirrhosisOfTheRivr 91 points92 points ago

This is pretty much the entire lyrics to Rammstein's 'Haifisch'... for those who speak German. For those who don't, you have a nice day anyway.

[–]Bonghat 34 points35 points ago

Und der Haifisch der hat Tränen

[–]CirrhosisOfTheRivr 30 points31 points ago

Und die laufen vom Gesicht

[–]godrim 29 points30 points ago

Doch der Haifisch lebt im Wasser

[–]bubim 32 points33 points ago

so die Tränen sieht man nicht.

[–]ZetsubouZolo 25 points26 points ago

IN der Tiefe ist es einsam und so manche Zähre fließt. Und so kommt es, dass das Wasser in den Meeren salzig ist.

[–]Apostolate 8 points9 points ago

I'm so glad I can read some German, or I would be confused as fuck.

The last line of the above post basically says, and that's how the water in the sea came to be so salty.

[–]mk1709 2 points3 points ago

I am confused as fuck, so thank you for explaining that last line for us non-German speakers.

[–]feedmahfish 0 points1 point ago

Or you can just look up the lyrics. Haifisch by Rammstein, album: Liebe ist fur alle da.

[–]WhaleTaleMan 5 points6 points ago

Das güügle translate

[–]homerjsimpson4 2 points3 points ago

Rough translation of this thread:

And the shark has the tears and running from the face, but the shark lives in the water so no one sees the tears. In the depths of it's flowing and many a lonely tear. And so it happens that the salty water into the seas.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

[–]anonymousketeer 0 points1 point ago

i came here to say this. man i love that song.

[–]dr-killjoy 0 points1 point ago

Man kann von uns halten, was immer man da will; wir halten uns schadlos, wir halten niemals still.

[–]Pzycho_Freak 12 points13 points ago

Karma for everyone!

[–]Narkohn 4 points5 points ago

Even for you because you said what needed to be said.

[–]randomgoat -1 points0 points ago

FIREFIGHT!!

...right guys?

[–]Fishes_101 -2 points-1 points ago

Nicht micht kränsky sausage hitler und jungen pungen

[–]ZetsubouZolo 0 points1 point ago

bro that is just the worst thing to do.

just because I know a bit of spanish you don't hear me say: tacco tacco, madrid, hola, patatas!

[–]Whalen 0 points1 point ago

"CLEANING WOMANNNN???!!!!!"

[–]ZetsubouZolo 9 points10 points ago

WHAT THE HELL! I just came here to say that thinking naaah as if reddit would make a big deal about Rammstein lyrics. and now this!

[–]MrBoo88 8 points9 points ago

Damn! I was going to post the song! There goes my karma...

[–]Ebolompedo 1 point2 points ago

Have some anyways...

[–]CoveredInBees1 14 points15 points ago

Came here for this. I was not disappointed.

[–]CirrhosisOfTheRivr 6 points7 points ago

Wasn't sure if it was too obscure of a reference, pleasantly surprised other people thought the same.

[–]ChaosChaser 2 points3 points ago

OT: Today, I finally got my German language Magic the Gathering cards from overseas so I can know more than just Rammstein lyrics! Rosetta Stone is for those who don't game. XD

[–]das_Produkt 2 points3 points ago

That's cool. I learned all my English basics from Magic the Gathering cards. And I'm from Germany.

[–]IchTuDerWeh 4 points5 points ago

Thank god Rammstein getting some attention. So fucking under valued

[–]CirrhosisOfTheRivr 2 points3 points ago

Agreed. Props for the relevant username.

[–]IchTuDerWeh 3 points4 points ago

It pisses me off every time someone posts about a band being awesome live and it makes the front page, Rammstein live is some of the all time best and lyrically blow most music out of the water. Too bad most are too lazy to just look up meanings

[–]ZetsubouZolo 0 points1 point ago

I agree. If you name great live bands Rammstein would be the first thing that comes to my mind. I appreciate bands that have a great live appearance by dancing around, motivating the audience and giving it all with original sound.

BUT THEY JUST DON'T HAVE FLAMETHROWERS OR HUGE COOKING POTS!

[–]ZetsubouZolo 0 points1 point ago

even if it's misspelled.

[–]Chrisuan 1 point2 points ago

Rammstein and underrated? Their concerts are huge and expensive as shit...and it seems like everyone knows them

[–]IchTuDerWeh 1 point2 points ago

You are lucky I guess, everyone I know thinks they suck dick and are nazis.

[–]Chrisuan 0 points1 point ago

It's probably because i am from austria...are you from the US? Do people really think that way?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Chrisuan 0 points1 point ago

I bet none of them ever listened to a song by Rammstein otherwise they would have realised the awesomeness...

[–]toofartofall2 4 points5 points ago

First thing I thought of, now I have to go and listen to the song (well, the album's pretty great tbh.)

[–]greatsuccessirl 1 point2 points ago

Came here to say this, was beat to it.

[–]taboo007 0 points1 point ago

Me Gusta ALL das Rammstein!

[–]ZetsubouZolo 1 point2 points ago

don't use german if you don't know it. I beg you sir

[–]taboo007 0 points1 point ago

I took four years of it in high school (and just graduated this year) I can use it whenever I feel like it!

[–]CannibalIowa 0 points1 point ago

Immediately what I thought. Saw this song live, I can die now.

[–]Endarin 0 points1 point ago

I came here just to say this. <3 Rammstein.

[–]SamEdge 19 points20 points ago

Nice try sharks! I'm not falling for that one...

[–]SirCaptain 9 points10 points ago

Well at least give them a hand for trying.

[–]mrmackdaddy 10 points11 points ago

I'm not giving them a hand!

I need that hand ... for stuff.

[–]Sproutykins 7 points8 points ago

I promise you'll be all-right.

[–]vikram13 0 points1 point ago

[–]Dueada 0 points1 point ago

For scientific stuff?

[–]mrmackdaddy 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, you know how everyone is saying "For science"? I mean for that stuff.

[–]caveman_rejoice 60 points61 points ago

Shark fact: Sharks are only found on two places on Earth, the northern and southern hemisphere.

[–]Omer9779 29 points30 points ago

Shark Fact: Hammerheads are called Hammerheads because their heads are shapes like hammers.

[–]hi_internet 22 points23 points ago

Shark Fact: Sharks are so versatile they can live underwater.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

Shark Fact: The movie JAWS, like the movie Titanic, was based on a real historical event.

[–]palaxi 10 points11 points ago

Shark Fact: Sharks poop too.

[–]ProfCrastinator 5 points6 points ago

Shark Fact: Sharks belong to the class Chondrichthyes

[–]Kids_On_Coffee 0 points1 point ago

Whoa, what the hell? Look at that thing's teeth!

[–]sleestakarmy 1 point2 points ago

Shark Fact: Sharks will only attack you if you're wet

[–]CarismoCarlander 0 points1 point ago

ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH? IT'S SHARK WEEK!

[–]MoonCheats 12 points13 points ago

Thanks /r/TrollXChromosomes for making me think you meant something COMPLETELY different.

[–]Hai_kitteh_mow 1 point2 points ago

Same here, I was thoroughly confused for a minute thinking "what does this have to do with that?"

[–]heart_pineapple 0 points1 point ago

yep. I didn't notice the subreddit either.

[–]WeirdIdeasCO 0 points1 point ago

I was kind of scared to click the link.

[–]MoonCheats 1 point2 points ago

I do not blame you.

[–]weedmonkey 11 points12 points ago

[–]lostshootinstar 17 points18 points ago

Shark here.

I can confirm this.

[–]Apostolate 6 points7 points ago

This poor guy thinks he's a shark. There there buddy.

[–]CanadianMutton 1 point2 points ago

HOLY SHIT! HOW DID YOU TYPE?!

[–]ProjectD13X 3 points4 points ago

Carefully.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

They don't have over 300 teeth for nothing you know.

[–]Selachii 0 points1 point ago

is also a shark :D i can type perfectly well, so long as my fins are still attached to my body

[–]NunoM 3 points4 points ago

Find a shark. Flip it over. Watch it slip into a coma. Hug it.

[–]Apostolate 0 points1 point ago

You could just hold it still until it passes out from oxygen deprivation.

[–]daykid 2 points3 points ago

Me: Awww, what a lonely little shark! Mom, I'm just gonna go give it a hug!

Mom: Wait, what are you d-

Me:OH FUCK SHIT MOTHERFUCKER IT GOT ME! OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK.

Mom: Oh my God! Noooo!

Me: OH SHIT OH FUCK Oh Shit oh fuck... pant pant

Me: Man that tickled. These guys really are misunderstood.

[–]JoshSN 1 point2 points ago

Is that where Saltines come from? I'd think they get soggy.

And why does the ocean need Saltines, anyway?

[–]chocobro 1 point2 points ago

Source?

[–]TiDoBos 1 point2 points ago

I'm going shark diving in a month. I will confirm the shark tear theory by licking one's face.

[–]nimbletoes 1 point2 points ago

This comment won't be funny, but this seems like a good place to let everyone know about the documentary Sharkwater. Amazing underwater footage, and heartbreaking narrative about how we are killing too many of this misunderstood creature.

The full film is on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZHUe7xm-PY

[–]rebop 0 points1 point ago

saving link for later

[–]CoyoteStark 1 point2 points ago

"Live every week like it's shark week."

  • Tracy Jordan

[–]Repyro 1 point2 points ago

"Water? Never drank the stuff. Fish F##k in it."

[–]RioTheDragonMan 1 point2 points ago

[–]videostore_guy 1 point2 points ago

No time for shark week. Need to fix the dry wall and then go to some ridiculous job interviews. :(

[–]CTRL_ALT_RAPE 1 point2 points ago

sounds like bs. where do the sharks get the salt from?

[–]girlheartsfett 1 point2 points ago

I clicked this title expecting something about the female reproductive system. Damn you Reddit, damn you forever. CAN'T UNSEE THIS PHRASE.

[–]cooldude11235 3 points4 points ago

I thought it was from whale jizz since they have the largest penises

[–]Stewart_Fishington 3 points4 points ago

Just imagine all those gallons of whale and fish semen floating around you that didn't go to use.
Now remember that time you were a child and got the salt water in your mouth and asked your parental unit why it was salty.
Turns out you might have had aquatic animal semen in your mouth.

Have a nice day.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]aco620 1 point2 points ago

It's posted to /r/funny...of course it's a joke...

[–]LickMyKnee 0 points1 point ago

Did you know that a shark will only attack you when you're wet?

[–]Weave_J 0 points1 point ago

Definitely read Saltines. Flippin sharks giving out crackers to try and gain friends.

[–]WrethZ 0 points1 point ago

Menacing and terrifying, sharks have been menacing and terrifying for over a decade.

Shark facts

[–]Kyle-Overstreet 0 points1 point ago

I'm really tired of shark week.

[–]unr3a1r00t 0 points1 point ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]Kyle-Overstreet 0 points1 point ago

I want like, Tasmanian devil week. Or Honey-Badger week. Or Komodo Dragon week. Something fresh. Actually I really just want to see the Discovery Channel building covered in massive fake pelts or scales.

[–]archivis 0 points1 point ago

I 2008 I ended up in hospital on some seriously potent pain meds in my IV...my stay began on the monday of Shark Week. You have not lived until you've watched that stuff on post surgery pain meds. That got me through quite a lot of my first week at the hospital, though I had to quit watching thursday when I realized the cartilage crunching noise they play when the sharks would bite something was exactly like the noise my knee made when it dislocated, which kind of freaked me out.

So, yay Shark Week! Boo cartilage crunching noises!

[–]ConfuciusCubed 0 points1 point ago

Little known fact: due to lack of limbs, sharks cuddle with their mouths.

[–]Lamar_the_Usurper 0 points1 point ago

But Dad, it's Shark Week!@!

[–]Basbhat 0 points1 point ago

Here's a shark fact. I see the same footage on shark week year after year.

Seriously change it the fuck up.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

"In the third grade I did a report on great whites. Discovered we were a lot alike seein' as how we're both misunderstood badasses."

[–]snooblegooch 0 points1 point ago

sharks can be found in two places on earth: the northern and southern hemisphere.

[–]justmadethisaccountt 0 points1 point ago

Chinese people are making sharks endangered so they can eat their fins. I hate the Chinese people that are eating endangered animals.

[–]benh2obury 0 points1 point ago

Oh shark week, the black history month for sharks

[–]Emrikkaljo 0 points1 point ago

Maybe, but the real reason is: Whale sperm. Yeah. Think of all those times you accidently drank the water in the ocean.

[–]mysterly 0 points1 point ago

Am I the only one that read saltiness as saltines?

[–]rmkaufman13 0 points1 point ago

Boo your reposts are bad, and you should feel bad.

[–]Trick825 0 points1 point ago

You know what makes human's different from other animals? We are the only species to celebrate Shark Week. Shark's don't even celebrate Shark Week!

[–]countlazypenis 0 points1 point ago

Shark week eh? Well my rule is that I do not go where sharks live in the hopes that they will not go where I live, with Reddit being Reddit I guess that this rule will not be possible. See you all in week.

[–]illuminex 0 points1 point ago

They just want to cuddle with, you know, their jaws.

[–]bassinine 0 points1 point ago

bitch i'll cuddle with you, but if you bite my shit one more time i'm going to backhand you.

[–]FromOrbit 0 points1 point ago

Wrong, just checked her pack, I have 2 more weeks left.

[–]PapiSciullo 0 points1 point ago

I call the week when my gf is on her period shark week, cause there's blood in the water.

[–]legoman50204 0 points1 point ago

Almost downvoted because I expected whale semen, upvoted because it wasn't.

[–]cheese-and-candy 0 points1 point ago

[–]MrMackay 0 points1 point ago

I went to our local aquarium one day and they had some little sharks in a pool where we could see them. One swam up to me and the lady working there told me that he was friendly and to pet him. I pet the shark. It bit me. Bitch.

[–]monkeyridespony 0 points1 point ago

Thank you for signing up for shark facts! You will now receive fun daily facts about SHARKS! >(((">

[–]Cinaed 0 points1 point ago

Probably shouldn't have picked a bull shark for that picture.

I think its a bull shark anyway.

[–]scribbling_des 0 points1 point ago

Did you know there are freshwater sharks that live in rivers? And ocean sharks that will swim into rivers with brackish water? I bet you can guess where these sharks live...

[–]ennui_delphian 0 points1 point ago

Fucking hate Detroit. All those inner city sharks trying to start shit...

[–]scribbling_des 0 points1 point ago

You messed it up. You were supposed to know that this could only happen in the land of creepy things that want to kill you; Australia.

[–]Left-Hand-Path 0 points1 point ago

Good, now I know to avoid the Discovery Channel for the next two months.

[–]Idefygravity 0 points1 point ago

i thought it from whale sperm! they lied....

[–]-JS- 0 points1 point ago

Whale jizz.

[–]imkingdom 0 points1 point ago

Pretty sure its from a whale's salty penis

[–]MrOrdinary 0 points1 point ago

Get excited for the five hundredth time.

[–]OmegaXis8009 0 points1 point ago

yes, cuddling...with their mouth...and their teeth...

seems legit

[–]jwatkins29 0 points1 point ago

Fact: some sharks are just misunderstood

[–]radomcupcake 0 points1 point ago

U no tht it's eyes r nxt 2 it's mouth right? Thts not it's eyes...

[–]AdonisChrist 0 points1 point ago

...

so is shark week like every four weeks or something because I see shit about it all the fucking time.

[–]jmr426 0 points1 point ago

[–]streetlamp69 0 points1 point ago

Sharkweekcountdown.com

[–]Melnorme 0 points1 point ago

Mister Connery! Mister Connery! Can I get your autograph?? Hey! Hello! Where are you going! Wait!

ohhh....

[–]southpaw05 0 points1 point ago

I prefer cat facts but this is good too. Is there a number I can text so I receive shark facts on my phone?

[–]thepoisonpoo 0 points1 point ago

Actually, it gets it from whale semen.

[–]scratchnatural 0 points1 point ago

For a split second, my mind went to that place where no logic exists and thought "Ohhhhh poor babies! I bet they just want someone to love them. I could love them. I would love all of them."

[–]rhino-tamer 0 points1 point ago

i always assumed it was whale jizz. anyone?

[–]bloop24 0 points1 point ago

this shit is going on a shirt right now. that is fucking genious(how the fuck do you spell that im so confused i thought i got it right). this will be one bad ass fucking shirt gonna do it right now

[–]Dwonvtoe_me 0 points1 point ago

I can't wait to see the exact same clips, videos and episodes that have been shown each of the last four years!

[–]Iron_Phoenix 0 points1 point ago

Proof!!!!! Where's the proof??!! He's a fraud!!!

[–]omnomnomnomnomnomn0m 0 points1 point ago

Its ok shark I'm a cuddler

[–]rumpleforeskin1 0 points1 point ago

and by tears of misunderstood shark that just want to cuddle he mean thousands and thousands of gallons of whale sperm :D

[–]darkenspirit 0 points1 point ago

http://sharkswithanimeeyes.tumblr.com/

Youre welcome.

(Also a possible source of OP's pic)

[–]mariokid45 0 points1 point ago

Wasn't this reposted like 3 times already? I've seen it a lot...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Did you know, 1in5 sharks has a degree in library science?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Its funny how so many people can't identify even the most known shark species. And everyone is so afraid of them.

[–]remhawk99 0 points1 point ago

Rammstein already covered this.

[–]DNAK1llA 0 points1 point ago

repost

[–]duxbellorum2313 0 points1 point ago

Sharks are my favorite animal. I love the whole "misunderstood" concept. They really are misunderstood... Just not in the cuddly way :P

[–]Bishopkilljoy 0 points1 point ago

Yes.....Cuddle....with teeth

[–]PhatBacon 0 points1 point ago

True story.

[–]STylerMLmusic 0 points1 point ago

This picture has been near the front page four seperate times in the past month. Dafuq.

[–]freakyanimalz -1 points0 points ago

Reddit... It is time we sat down and had a talk. This same post was on my facebook feed about a week ago. Lets try to keep the content original, please! If not stop making fun of 9gag and tumblr for being unoriginal because half the stuff I see here is just as recycled. (Rage post, downvotes expected.)

[–]SilentLettersSuck -1 points0 points ago

Wrong. It's from whale sperm.

[–]binaryecho -1 points0 points ago

Dolphins are gay sharks.

[–]buddybonesbones -1 points0 points ago

cuddle your face with their teeth.

[–]bullshit_detector_2k -2 points-1 points ago

What fucking grade are you in?