this post was submitted on
1,011 points (55% like it)
5,095 up votes 4,084 down votes

funny

subscribe2,475,840 readers

11,224 users here now

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 193 comments

[–]zhx 45 points46 points ago

That's pretty dated. These days you have to sit around while they fumble through a bunch of shitty flash pictures on their smart phone.

[–]Newgeta 5 points6 points ago

OMG YES! I don't give a shit about your kids or your phone and I certainly have 0 fucks to give about them voltroning together into my nightmares....

[–]cooolbeans 5 points6 points ago

Wow, best friend award goes to you!

[–]bw1870 27 points28 points ago

I also don't care about what's important to my friends.

[–]HouseofFools -1 points0 points ago

Upvote for 'voltroning together'.

[–]ironnewt 13 points14 points ago

This is what facebook feels like once you pass thirty

[–]rollerpigeons 4 points5 points ago

uuurggg thisss. I can't go on facebook anymore, it's who's kids do what. Oh look, so and so is pregnant with their 5th child.

[–]bw1870 6 points7 points ago

I can deal with vacation and family pics. It's the e-card pics and stupid meme shit that bugs the crap out of me. At least the other stuff has some basis in what's important to someone.

[–]pbostrom 0 points1 point ago

i can deal with the meme stuff, what i cant deal with is the people who share a meme and then one week later "despise" people who spam memes.

also and the same girl who break up with the same guy at least 5 times a year, always posting "blah blah forever" when they get back together, its so annoying its borderline fascinating

[–]damontoo 1 point2 points ago

This is why you don't friend your girlfriend. Only after the wedding should you add her back.

[–]DuckReconMajor 0 points1 point ago

daaaam-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m

[–]Dynamite_Noir 0 points1 point ago

I maintain facebook so I can constantly be reminded as to how boring other peoples lives are.

"Oh, you thought it was a good idea to share what you ate? Wow, you really do suck."

"Oh, your status every day is your diary entry. Shiiit that's some depressing stuff! Thanks for sharing!"

"I get it.. you fucking love super heroes. Why are you so obsessed with the Avengers? Did you help make the movie? No, then why are you so god damn obsessed with it's success?"

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]bw1870 1 point2 points ago

Unless I misunderstand you, I think we have a different view of what 'agreed' means. I enjoy looking at some people's vacation/birthday pics. I don't need to see a complete camera dump, but 20-30 choice pics is fine. This is sort of the point behind FB. To share stuff and connect with friends/family, not just post Twitter statuses and random joke pics.

[–]jdmulloy 0 points1 point ago

If you don't like stupid memes why are you on Reddit?

[–]ThatGreenSolGirl 1 point2 points ago

And as soon as the kid comes you never see pictures of them anymore. Profile pictures, cover photo, vacation pics....all of their children. It's cool to be a proud parent, but we're friends with YOU, not your 2 year old.

[–]ProbablyJustArguing 0 points1 point ago

Isn't that kind of the whole point of Facebook in the first place? To share the things that are important to you with your friends?

[–]rollerpigeons 0 points1 point ago

I guess I should restate myself, sorry about that. I agree, that's what Facebook is all about, and there is absolutely no shame in being a proud parent. However, being 30 year old women who grew up in a small midwest town in which everyone still lives in (I moved far away though, and FB was used originality to keep in touch) and the great majority have children. There's quite a bit of maternal peer-pressure on Facebook, and it's something I'd rather stay away from (I can feel that biological clock ticking D: ).

[–]ThatFeel_IKnowIt 0 points1 point ago

:-(. Guess I'll be deleting facebook in 8 years.

[–]lexbuck 11 points12 points ago

It's ironic that most of Reddit seems to dislike looking at pictures of their "friend's" children yet will get excited about a complete stranger's cat.

[–]kewidogg 0 points1 point ago

A lot of it probably has to do with cats being relatable. If you don't have kids, they aren't very interesting.

Plus, cats are usually either in precarious situations, or doing things unbecoming of a feline. Kids...usually are just sitting there.

[–]lexbuck 0 points1 point ago

Kids...usually are just sitting there.

hmmm... Something tells me you don't have kids.

[–]kewidogg 0 points1 point ago

I meant in the pictures, like the two kids sleeping holding hands, or asleep in the dad's arms, or asleep face down...

[–]il_marcello -2 points-1 points ago

Cats are cute!

[–]ultrastoat 4 points5 points ago

I don't know why everyone's downvoting you. I find almost any cat adorable, and I view babies as these potato-shaped, drooling, wall-eyed disease incubators.

[–]il_marcello 1 point2 points ago

I think newborn babies look all the same (and all quite ugly IMHO), while cats are cute. But I guess people here have a different opinion ;)

[–]xrobau 0 points1 point ago

(Stalking your comments because of the BC, and I noticed this) - Look, yes. They are. But the important thing is they STOP being like that surprisingly quickly, and turn into all shades of awesome. There's nothing better than watching their brains develop, and being aware that you are the person that taught them stuff. Kids are cool. Babies are annoying, but it's a price you have to pay to get awesome and amazing kids. I also have a 3yo boy, too. But he's more interested in buzz lightyear and playing on his DS 8)

They are fun.

[–]xiaou 31 points32 points ago

The hardest thing for parents to realize is that no one else has the tolerance for their offspring that they do. No one.

[–]Waterboyeee 21 points22 points ago

Oh, you just had a kid?

Make sure and take it to any, and every restaurant/movie theatre on a nightly basis. I heard people love that!

[–]Jigsus 3 points4 points ago

It's even bad for the kids. I have no idea what they're thinking.

[–]Hiroaki 3 points4 points ago

It's good for the baby. It's called socializing the baby, you gotta get it used to being in those situations so that it won't flip out in them. Otherwise the few times you take it out you're guaranteed to cry. But there are definitely some places that are "family friendly" where you should expect that, and other places (like movie theaters) where you should not. Especially in this day and age when you can get movies at home.

[–]grassmunk 1 point2 points ago

Movie theatres now offer 'kids mornings' where they show special showings (for the same price) but you go in expecting it to be full of kids. They don't even turn the lights off during the movie and they don't show previews. They aren't generally advertised but you can call your local movie theatre to ask.

It's great cause my wife and I still get to see a movie but no one cares that our kid is a little cranky in the last 40 mins of the movie cause so is everyone elses.

[–]WaitingForClients 2 points3 points ago

They are not thinking.

[–]kawaiigardiner 0 points1 point ago

I swear it a case of 'misery likes company' - someone has fucked up their life so they're hell bent on making everyone else's life a fucking misery when ever and where ever possible.

[–]damontoo 3 points4 points ago

Was at a family get together with my cousin and his wife. Their little kid was 4 or 5 at the time. I'm sitting there and he lays on the floor in front of me and starts kicking my legs. I ignored it waiting for his parents to tell him to stop but nobody fucking told him to stop. They just stared at him kicking me. He started doing it harder so I decided to play it off by smacking and grabbing his feet playfully to get him to stop. Then his mother looks at me like I'm a fucking child molester.

I hate children.

[–]darkscout 2 points3 points ago

At which point you look the mom in the eye. You say "The judge said I shouldn't be this close children. You know, after the 'incident'".

That child will never be within 100 yards of you ever again.

[–]Bermnerfs 0 points1 point ago

Sounds traumatizing.

[–]thesatchmo 7 points8 points ago

A lot of new parents seem to do this for some reason. I'll only crack out the photos if they ask. It's just polite.

[–]BrainInAJar 38 points39 points ago

show them a pile of money in response

[–]MetalSpider 20 points21 points ago

Or a series of pictures of you sleeping for ten hours straight. They won't be enjoying that for a while.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

I'm a childless insomniac... what is the point of my life :-(

[–]MetalSpider 17 points18 points ago

Get a cat. They're good for keeping you amused when you can't sleep.

[–]StezzerLolz 9 points10 points ago

Also, karma-whoring.

[–]MetalSpider 1 point2 points ago

That, too. Reddit loves the kitties.

[–]Phanpy -4 points-3 points ago

And karma... It's the perfect mixture karma and kitties.

[–]Bacon_Hero 2 points3 points ago

Did you even read the comments above?

[–]darkscout 1 point2 points ago

You need at least 5 in a Cat RAID-5 setup. Because at any given time 4 are going to be sleeping.

[–]BeerPowered 0 points1 point ago

Do drugs.

[–]damontoo 0 points1 point ago

Go to a sleep clinic and see if there's something going on. A large portion of the population have undiagnosed sleep disorders.

Also, try melatonin. 3mg about 30 minutes before you want to be asleep. Take it for 7 days. The first day or two it wont seem to do much but by the end of the week you'll be sleeping at the desired time.

[–]ChaoticAgenda -1 points0 points ago

Move to California and get a license for medical marijuana. You'll get weed easily and be in California.

[–]yesyesyesalright 1 point2 points ago

[–]damontoo -1 points0 points ago

Shut up and take my money. Where do they sell that sticker?!

[–]Dynamite_Noir 0 points1 point ago

You're joking, but someone on my news feed actually posted a picture of their paycheck.

[–]xnerdyxrealistx 0 points1 point ago

Money is the most important thing to have in life? Okay got it.

[–]BrainInAJar 5 points6 points ago

No, it just helps you buy the most important things.

[–]xnerdyxrealistx -1 points0 points ago

The most important things in life are not things.

[–]kawaiigardiner 1 point2 points ago

It is a means to an end - if you have fuck all money you can do fuck all in your life. How about this amazing concept - balance the number of kids to have with the amount of money you earn! fucking amazing! revolutionary! I should get my own CNBC show!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]mytempusername 2 points3 points ago

It is said indeed.

[–]mooose 5 points6 points ago

This used to bug me, now I'm 35 and am the last of my friends to not be married and/or with children.

My friends now look at me, my awesome GF, my toys, free time and ability to just do whatever / whenever and their shoulders slump.

After insurance, I paid 14 untaxed dollars (FSA) for my vasectomy.

[–]xnerdyxrealistx -5 points-4 points ago

I hope you have something to do with your life other than "do whatever" or you have a very unfulfilling life ahead of you.

[–]mooose 2 points3 points ago

I wish you the best of luck in your future prognostication efforts.

[–]kawaiigardiner 0 points1 point ago

I hope you have something to do with your life

And to the surprise of some here - you don't need a kid to give your life meaning and purpose.

[–]xnerdyxrealistx 0 points1 point ago

I just said something. If you don't have a kid you can lead a purpose-driven life, but doing whatever, playing with toys; Will that bring purpose to your life?

[–]kawaiigardiner 0 points1 point ago

Whatever could mean anything - helping at a soup kitchen, working for a non-profit organisation that writes whitepapers regarding social policy etc. which are all very much meaningful pursuits.

[–]xnerdyxrealistx 0 points1 point ago

But he didn't specify what it was. That's why I said I hope that he is doing something meaningful. I never accused him of not.

[–]ultrastoat 0 points1 point ago

Having kids isn't the mandatory goal of everyone's lives.

[–]xnerdyxrealistx -1 points0 points ago

...

Show me where I say you must have kids.

[–]Apollo7 9 points10 points ago

"Well, don't they just look delightfully tolerable."

[–]Whitworth 6 points7 points ago

"20 something Redditors complain about children... news at 11"

[–]MBSquared 6 points7 points ago

Yeah what a bunch of jerks, being happy about something and then trying to tell you about it. WHAT JERKS.

[–]ionece 6 points7 points ago

[–]PizzasarusRex 2 points3 points ago

I'm currently in the stage of my life where all my friends are getting married. Its like this only with wedding shit.

[–]fawker 2 points3 points ago

You know that time you went and blew way too much money on something? I mean you splurged, well over your means.

Didn't it make you feel better when you showed it off whatever it was to friends?

Same thing, except these small bundles of economic disasters never go away.

[–]throawawayaccnt 6 points7 points ago

I show them Minecraft pictures in retaliation.

[–]dsoltesz 6 points7 points ago

Oh god. I show off pictures of my Skryim horse. For no real reason.

[–]Fartoholic 3 points4 points ago

Shadowmere is enough reason.

[–]bw1870 0 points1 point ago

Any relation to Shadowfax?

[–]dsoltesz -1 points0 points ago

No Shadowmere. Just the old gray mare from Riften. But, I love her!

[–]MontegoBarbados 12 points13 points ago

Proud new parents don't bother me, even the annoying ones. It's the new parents that seem to not give a shit about their kids that make me worry.

"So I heard your daughter just took her first steps."

"Umm, yeah sure, whatever."

"Do you have a picture of her?"

"Sure, somewhere. I guess."

[–]lexbuck 5 points6 points ago

This response doesn't mean they don't care. This is the response of someone who cares but realizes that the majority of people around them don't care, therefore they themselves act less interested in an attempt to downplay their excitement hoping the person they are showing won't think they're annoying as fuck for breaking out pics of their kids.

[–]MFCH 4 points5 points ago

Yes, because I'm don't want risk losing any of my neck-beard friends by showing interest in my family.

[–]MontegoBarbados 1 point2 points ago

If someone is worth talking with, they are worth being genuine with. If I must put on an act about something that means a great deal to me, whether it be my kids or my wife or job or friends, it means that the other person is not worth talking with.

Why should I pretend not to care about what I care about? Why should I speak with someone that I know will roll their eyes and sigh when I share what's in my heart?

I'm not going to be fake and pretend that my daughter isn't the most precious thing in my life, always on my mind, because I get the feeling that some asshole doesn't care about how I feel and will find me annoying as fuck.

And if I had to speak to this asshole, I would rather just not bring up my child at all instead of pretending to be less interested.

[–]dablainester 1 point2 points ago

This pretty much sums up exactly how I feel. I tell my friends when my son does something cool because they like him. I don't go overboard, show them a million pictures, etc. I do enough to show my enthusiasm and pride in being a father. If someone doesn't care about my kid, they're probably not a good enough friend of mine to warrant me talking to them about more than the weather.

[–]lexbuck 1 point2 points ago

Completely agree. Unfortunately, most people care what others think and worry to death about it.

[–]LordBahumat 0 points1 point ago

These are the parents who are tired because they have kids.

Yes, they have those pictures. In ten years or so when they've actually had some decent sleep and haven't had to clean up a child's feces from a floor/wall/surface in years, they'll want to pull those pictures out. Until then, it's more an exhausted exasperation akin to: "Oh look, my job just got harder."

[–]MontegoBarbados 0 points1 point ago

I was referring to new parents.

[–]LordBahumat 0 points1 point ago

Trust me, the number doesn't really matter.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]MontegoBarbados 0 points1 point ago

So you won't record anything your future child will do unless they are disabled in some way and defy expectations? Do you have any idea how absurd that sounds?

[–]Chaseman69 10 points11 points ago

Does anyone notice that none of them have upper eyelids?

[–]_Lawlrus_ 18 points19 points ago

The guy behind the black woman does and also the two guys in the back.

[–]throawawayaccnt 5 points6 points ago

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]InvisibleSolid 0 points1 point ago

A world named excitement, I like it.

[–]phanzi -2 points-1 points ago

When I read that I had to make sure my eyelids were on right.

[–]trollsconstantly -2 points-1 points ago

cannot unsee

[–]AstronautMillionaire 3 points4 points ago

I love how people in their 20s have kids with absolutely no money or a future. All they talk about is their kids because they can not afford to do anything else, EVER. Their kids are now their lives. They hide their sadness well for a while.

[–]kawaiigardiner 0 points1 point ago

Until they hit middle age, the kids have moved out and they realise that the only reason they stayed together was for the kids and the only reason to keep doing so is because beer gut's and saggy tits aren't going to attract the opposite sex so in the end they give up and tolerate each other.

[–]shakensunshine 6 points7 points ago

My facebook feed is full of them.

[–]TheFecalJesus 4 points5 points ago

Thats partially why I deleted my Facebook.

That and the constant status updates while people are in labor.

"OMG I am SOOO Dilated! Might need an Epidural... Steven and I are planning on saving the placenta if anyone wants to come over for dinner!"

[–]Splooge_Hero 2 points3 points ago

This can't be a real thing. Somebody tell me that this doesn't actually happen.

[–]MikeOfAllPeople 5 points6 points ago

You know what I find annoying? The fact that you call them your friends but have no interest in seeing their kids.

I'm sure you've heard it before, but having kids is pretty much the biggest fucking deal in most people's lives. If someone wants to share that with you because of your friendship, maybe you should just be thankful.

[–]xnerdyxrealistx 0 points1 point ago

Some people are kid people and some aren't. I'm a kid person, but when I have kids I'm only showing them to my friends that care.

[–]MikeOfAllPeople -1 points0 points ago

If they don't care about your kids they aren't your friends...

[–]xnerdyxrealistx 0 points1 point ago

Eh, that's not really true. Some people just aren't kid-people, but if they don't like hanging out with my kids then we will see each other a lot less.

[–]kawaiigardiner -3 points-2 points ago

Stop boasting about it as though having kids were an achievement - guess what, millions of other people are doing the same thing as well without so much as a parade or any fanfare. Boasting about having kids would me boasting because I can drink 5 jugs of beer and then run a mile without vomiting - hardly something to be impressed by.

[–]MikeOfAllPeople 1 point2 points ago

Relax man. People share their lives with their friends. It's no big deal. It's just that if someone is your friend, they want to hear about what's going on with you. When you have kids, that's what's going on.

[–]kawaiigardiner 0 points1 point ago

Before I even open my mouth I first ask myself, "is this going to bore the living shit out of them" and thus I decide not to tell them. I tend to be a person who doesn't tell my friends much about my own life because I'm sure 90% of the time it would bore them to tears so instead I relieve them of that and act as a good listener, a shoulder to cry on and the occasional buddha dispensing advice.

Btw, if you're orientating your whole life around your kids you're going to have a bad time - later on in life when your kids leave you'll suddenly realise that you have nothing and you're pretty much nothing without the kids.

[–]MikeOfAllPeople 0 points1 point ago

When I had my kids years ago I found out who my friends really were (fortunately, 90% were great about it). They love my kids and hang out with them. Of course I don't orient my whole life around my kids, I have a job and a wife as well. But if your friends can't be bothered to hear about your kids, which should be the most important thing in your life, they aren't really your friends anymore. (You shouldn't have to ask yourself if what you are about to say is going to bore your friends. That's just not healthy, in my opinion. If it's working for you though, have at it.)

[–]kawaiigardiner 0 points1 point ago

That is a bit shallow of you - ever thought that maybe they're friends with you and not your kids? sure, I can tolerate kids in small doses like my niece but don't expect me to look after them for more than a few hours at a time - I'm not a kid person.

Btw, kids are important in your life but how about realising that just because it is important in your life it doesn't some how give you the right to steam roll over everyone else believing that you should be at the centre of their universe by virtue of having kids.

I'm gay and I'm never going to have children - I'd make a lousy parent but unlike many parents out there I accept that reality and choose not to have kids rather than believing that a person thrown in the deep end will suddenly transform into a good parent overnight on hearing they have a kid on the way.

[–]MikeOfAllPeople 0 points1 point ago

Awfully defensive. Look when I had kids I had some friends that were genuinely interested in talking about them, and I had some that weren't. My kids are important to me. They are also important to my friends (just like their kids are important to me). When you have kids your priorities and interests change, that's a given. Sometimes people in your life stop having so much in common with you because of that.

It's not a big deal or anything. I don't hold it against any of them because that's just life. But they don't get to call me a friend anymore.

[–]UK_Reddit_User 1 point2 points ago

Well just do the same back to them except have your wallet filled with money

[–]calldom 1 point2 points ago

this is also what r/pics seems to be lately..

[–]stone500 1 point2 points ago

In my experience, guys usually don't show other guys all these pictures of their kids (at least, my friends don't). Women will show other women, but that's cause the women care.

Guys know that if we really want to see each other's kids, then we can hop on Facebook.

[–]MFCH 3 points4 points ago

TIL that reddit is full of rich, professional bachelors that would rather spend their time making money and having a good career than having a family

...and by that I mean lurking /trees then playing Diablo and drinking Mt.Dew til 5am.

[–]kawaiigardiner 1 point2 points ago

...and by that I mean lurking /trees then playing Diablo and drinking Mt.Dew til 5am.

Something wrong with that?

[–]MFCH 0 points1 point ago

Ha, actually, as a dad of two, the only time that I can play Diablo is 3-5am.

[–]kawaiigardiner 1 point2 points ago

It is important to have some me time - it isn't a pretty sight when I see parents so wrapped up in their kids they forget that they're individuals who have needs, wants and desires. The other problem with making your life so kid centric is the kids themselves start believing that they're the centre of the universe and the world should be at their beckoning call result in the horrible kids we see today.

[–]MFCH 0 points1 point ago

Thanks. It's hard to see some things when you're so close, ya know? (My real reaction to your insight)

[–]artistictech 1 point2 points ago

Not full of, but I know at least I am one of those well-compensated, divorced, childless professionals who travels all over while my burdened friends live vicariously through my exploits that I share on FB.

j/k I'm a slob who lives in my aunt's basement and I haven't seen the sun in months.

[–]ProbablyJustArguing 0 points1 point ago

You just learned that today?

[–]rufusio 0 points1 point ago

"Gee, all my purse has in it is a bunch of disposable income"

[–]NotSoGoodAtPhotoshop 1 point2 points ago

My best friend has a son of 2 years. I don't even know how he looks like.

[–]Styvorama 0 points1 point ago

Sounds like best friend means something different to you than most huh?

[–]NotSoGoodAtPhotoshop 1 point2 points ago

Nah, it's just complicated. He isn't seeing the mother and I'm kinda pissed at her and I haven't met her in years.

[–]Styvorama -1 points0 points ago

I am sorry to hear that. Does she have sole custody? If not and it is practical to see your friend, showing interest in his child would probably mean the world to him, especially since it sounds like he is going thru some shit.

I don't blame you for not wanting to see her, but if she is not around and you can get some face time with your friend and his son, I think everyone will walk away happier for it.

Sorry for being intrusive, good luck

[–]NotSoGoodAtPhotoshop 0 points1 point ago

She lives about three hours away, she is the best friend of my ex girlfriend that I haven't talked to for about a year, she's a real bitch.

And he isn't seeing his son that much either. Never talks about him.

[–]Styvorama 0 points1 point ago

That's sad I'm sorry, give your buddy a beer and a man hug from the internet.

[–]jim_pfaffenbach 0 points1 point ago

It's like Redditors and their fucking pets.

[–]kawaiigardiner 0 points1 point ago

There are subreddits; don't like it then don't sub to that subreddit.

[–]rackgen 0 points1 point ago

As an alternative, I present you this

[–]thekfish 0 points1 point ago

I've seen this exact post before. Not just the image, but the exact same title.

[–]KofOaks 0 points1 point ago

Yea? 33 here.

This shit will last forever.

[–]Jp1496 0 points1 point ago

"This is my son... He is already 13 cm." -Borat

[–]Dick_Serious 0 points1 point ago

I really wish life were as simple as choosing either procreating or being rich, which is what a lot of people seem to think.

Kids = sucker with no money

No kids = FILTHY FUCKING RICH YEEEEEHAAAAAW.

[–]cooolbeans 0 points1 point ago

Wow, so sad hearing all these 'i hate peoples kids' posts. I understand that some people aren't ready for kids and I try to keep my baby showing off to a minimum, but seriously. It's the most important thing to happen to me and when my best friend reacted this way, it broke my heart. I'm not asking to talk about him constantly, but acknowledging him once and a while would be nice. I mean, I do talk about your boyfriends and girlfriends and work problems all the time. All I can say, is you'll probably feel differently when you have one!

[–]lostalaska 0 points1 point ago

What used to throw me off is that transitional period usually in your mid twenties when the reaction to hearing about a friends getting knocked up goes from "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, how could that happen? She said she was on the pill right?" to "Congratulations!".

[–]JAKnighton 0 points1 point ago

"All of my friends are getting married and having kids! Obviously this reflects badly on them."

[–]geekjive 0 points1 point ago

PRO TIP: when you get invited to the birthday parties, bring whistles. guarantees no more invites.

[–]tvogr 0 points1 point ago

It took me a while to understand the title, I was reading ''Now that, my friends, are starting to have kids...''

[–]TheKnifeMaster 0 points1 point ago

That was completely synchronized with the beat of my song.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]megablast 8 points9 points ago

It is almost as if there are two groups of different people doing this. Crazy, I know.

[–]BeerPowered 1 point2 points ago

Family guy has always sucked. Always.

[–]manonthemount -1 points0 points ago

i prefer to offer my wallet condom in response, because obviously they need it more than i do

[–]Styvorama 0 points1 point ago

People have children on purpose ya know.

No one would use your expired wallet condom anyways.

[–]BeerPowered 0 points1 point ago

"Darnit, I'm too late"

[–]Old-Ben-Kenobi 0 points1 point ago

Just wait until their kids are old enough to be trouble and they see you continuing to go out having fun/dating new people. Then suddenly they want to live vicariously through you.

[–]Cat612 -1 points0 points ago

I had to watch it for a few moments before I could figure out what was in his hand.

[–]cronus85 -2 points-1 points ago

uteruses..., facebook uteruses everywhere!

[–]ThatFeel_IKnowIt -2 points-1 points ago

Ugh I'm not looking forward to seeing all my friend's fucking kids on facebook in like 5 -6 years. I told my girlfriend that if we ever get married, I will not post even a single picture of my son/daughter on facebook. Ever.

[–]Remingtonh 1 point2 points ago

oh you will . . .

[–]ThatFeel_IKnowIt 1 point2 points ago

No. I really won't. I don't take facebook seriously. Ever. I never post anything serious. And I never will.

[–]arcooke 1 point2 points ago

I'm the same way.. I occasionally post a funny picture/video, might have short chats with people.. but that's about it. My profile pic is Thurman Murman from Bad Santa for crying out loud. I think I have a whopping 3 pictures of myself.

I also hate people's baby pictures. I may post one or two the first day it was born or something, but after that.. never again.

[–]JAKnighton 0 points1 point ago

You've just told me what kind of person you are, your interests and pet peeves. Through the internet. I thought you would like facebook.

[–]arcooke 0 points1 point ago

I don't like the whole status update/event aspect of Facebook. I don't care that a friend is eating lunch at the local taco stand, or that my friend's baby is wearing cute pajamas, or that you are hung over/bored/listening to your favorite song. Just bugs me. I'd rather have a conversation, but that's not what most people use it for.

That is all.

[–]Collaterlie_Sisters -1 points0 points ago

I was just saying yesterday how this was my favorite Family Guy joke.

[–]sawyer1929 -1 points0 points ago

Watched this for 5 mins my face started to hurt

[–]nps -2 points-1 points ago

Context? Video?

[–]RedditGarbage -3 points-2 points ago

Aww your just mad because your alone and lack the testicular fortitude to get a mate or even attempt something resembling a girlfriend..... Ya forever alone moot. SCREW YOU ...Sorry i have been off my meds

[–]Laeryken -3 points-2 points ago

I have some friends that aren't like this. They're wonderful and my bffs. Yay!

[–]Anakinskynader -1 points0 points ago

If you wait for about ten minutes you will see a troll face.