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top 200 commentsshow all 202

[–]Powell_46 154 points155 points ago

The day i discovered incognito was a good day, a very good day.

[–]free_range_veal 167 points168 points ago

You fucked around and got a triple double?

[–]mogball 89 points90 points ago

He didn't even have to use his AK.

[–]LenBias34 69 points70 points ago

The Lakers beat the Supersonics

[–]EFG 28 points29 points ago

Younger generation will have nary a fucking clue who the Supersonics are.

[–]MegaZambam 2 points3 points ago

False. I still know who the Minneapolis Lakers are.

[–]Basbhat 1 point2 points ago

were*

[–]landspeed24 5 points6 points ago

It's hard not to when The OKC Thunder are in the Nba finals and they reference how they used to be the Supersonics nightly

[–]nota999 6 points7 points ago

Washingtonian here, still mad at OKC 'round these parts.

[–]rhashawork 9 points10 points ago

Maybe your state should have gone to more games and supported the team more.

[–]Tirrath 2 points3 points ago

what he said, also a Washingtonian

[–]Uncast 0 points1 point ago

Younger generation obviously doesn't pay attention.

[–]Lyulf -1 points0 points ago

I got lost in the comments what was happening?

[–]CUNT_IN_MY_BUTT 0 points1 point ago

Most basketball fans will know, just like a lot of basketball fans now know about old defunct franchises from before they were born.

[–]Icebear8 4 points5 points ago

felt on the big fat fanny Pulled out the jammy, and killed the punanny

[–]Idiotank 1 point2 points ago

Get a text from Kim?

[–]Ants236 23 points24 points ago

I bet his mother made turkey bacon for breakfast.

[–]CPTSaltyDog 6 points7 points ago

I had eggs for breakfast, your mom had sausage!

[–]barttaylor 3 points4 points ago

no smog

[–]TadC_117 3 points4 points ago

No barkin from the dogs

[–]Ants236 0 points1 point ago

B-but that's not part of the song! My mom doesn't even like sausage, she likes bacon!

[–]CPTSaltyDog -1 points0 points ago

oh she likes sausage....long meaty sausage.

[–]Ants236 2 points3 points ago

You're a monster, captain!

[–]thebigboy155 4 points5 points ago

I gotta say it was a good day.

[–]Jawsh1987 3 points4 points ago

I gotta say, it was a good day

[–]Its_Be_A_Spork 24 points25 points ago

I KNOW! I just hate when I'm trying to get my parents a gift and they get on the computer and see what I was looking for! I love incognito!

[–]KyoskeMikashi 4 points5 points ago

I can search for elderly butts with no problem, or very elderly butts if I'm really in the mood.

[–]FleeCircus 19 points20 points ago

Hate to break it to you but incognito only hides you on the client side, your ISP will know all the filth you pleasure yourself to and will gladly hand it over to the police.

[–]danknerd 7 points8 points ago

Plausible deniability, multiple computers, multiple users using the same IP and since IP addresses =/= person, who would get the blame?

EDIT: grammar

[–]FleeCircus 14 points15 points ago

The teenage boy in the family :P

[–]GeorgeForemanGrillz 0 points1 point ago

Even in incognito mode your browser still has some uniquely identifiable information (Test here) that can be used to track you down to your workstation.

[–]danknerd 0 points1 point ago

but what if all people share the multiple computers, using the same named account, same password, across all the computers?

[–]FreyasSpirit 7 points8 points ago

Yeah, but your ISP doesn't care what kind of porn you look at. The whole point is to hide it from whoever you're living with.

[–]analcarbomb 0 points1 point ago

Except for child and necrophiliac pornography, of course.

[–]Jebes 3 points4 points ago

Well, you can always hide. Might still want to get a VPN or proxy though.

[–]GameTheory_ 22 points23 points ago

'command + shift + N' is a reflex at this point

The more you know

[–]GentlemanGallimaufry -3 points-2 points ago

Not sure if Mac...or slip of the hand

[–]BlazeOrangeDeer 3 points4 points ago

command = mac.

[–]GentlemanGallimaufry 2 points3 points ago

Ah, I didn't realize that Command worked the same as Control

[–]Imagine_This 0 points1 point ago

There are still monitoring internet providers and the secret agency...

[–]DivineRobot 0 points1 point ago

Unless you are behind proxies or VPN, your ISP and Google still have your browsing history.

[–]Glands 26 points27 points ago

You up?

[–]tacotrucks 16 points17 points ago

You out?

[–]T-Luv 13 points14 points ago

Kewl

[–]badgarok725 8 points9 points ago

Hey I know I'm the last one you want to hear from right now, but I just want to let you know that you're loved.

[–]huntgrav 1 point2 points ago

:O

[–]badgarok725 2 points3 points ago

;p

[–]billychuck 1 point2 points ago

:o

[–]munge_me_not 8 points9 points ago

You out?

You out?

You out?

[–]archieboi 1 point2 points ago

hehe

[–]Se7en_Sinner 216 points217 points ago

[–]A_Rolling_Baneling 37 points38 points ago

Does anyone know if this is a real painting with a made up title or a contemporary work painted in classical style to make a joke?

[–]cydril 68 points69 points ago

Real painting, made up title.

[–]bski1776 2 points3 points ago

What's the context of the original painting?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]sil3ntgh0st 9 points10 points ago

I think it was called "Discovering the Argonian Maid"

[–]NKarman 29 points30 points ago

Elderly butts

[–]Zeppelanoid 16 points17 points ago

Very elderly butts.

[–]edgeman4 0 points1 point ago

So necrophiliac?

[–]emehrkay 0 points1 point ago

Preggo amputees

[–]zosoyoung 11 points12 points ago

Video link?

[–]Scrubtanic 18 points19 points ago

http://www.hulu.com/watch/358345

Sorry if you're in a hulu hating country and/or dislike ads.

[–]zosoyoung 1 point2 points ago

Thank you, sir.

[–]ipigack 65 points66 points ago

Truecrypt

[–]MrFaucyPaunts 45 points46 points ago

How will using TrueCrypt protect you if your search history gets subpoena'd from a search engine's server logs, or if an ISP keeps records of their customers' non-HTTPS web traffic?

[–]Malgas 13 points14 points ago

You can set Google to force https. That covers the ISP angle at least.

[–]tofagerl 17 points18 points ago

So they subpoena Google instead.

[–]auxiliary-character 24 points25 points ago

Duckduckgo.

[–]THEBURGERKAISER 0 points1 point ago

https://startpage.com is better, it uses googles results and gives you a proxy you can use

[–]auxiliary-character 0 points1 point ago

Meh, I like some of the features of duckduckgo better.

[–]jeremiahbarnes 0 points1 point ago

I think you're one of the only people I've ever heard of that even knows about that awesome search engine. Bang syntax rules!

[–]auxiliary-character 1 point2 points ago

Bang syntax is awesome! I was surprised when it had !archwiki.

[–]Bedeone 2 points3 points ago

Has Google ever given in to an US court issued subpoena? Let alone a (to Google) foreign one?

[–]tofagerl 29 points30 points ago

[–]Bedeone 7 points8 points ago

Oh my ...

[–]tofagerl 2 points3 points ago

Yep!

[–]BornOnFeb2nd 1 point2 points ago

Time to move and change your name, huh?

Might I suggest DuckDuckGo?

[–]JCongo 2 points3 points ago

6,321 in the US with 93% complied. Makes me happy to be in Canada... 41 and only 24% complied with lol.

[–]scoops22 2 points3 points ago

I don't think Google takes very kindly to Russia and Turkey's requests.

[–]jillyboooty 3 points4 points ago

"Hey bill, Turkey sent another user data request."

"HAHAHAHA. What should we do with it this time?"

"I know bill, let's eat it. LETS FUCKING EAT IT."

"That'l show 'em"

[–]elmstfreddie 1 point2 points ago

To think, we have 1/10th the population of the US. So the US has 15x as many requests as us, per capita, and almost 4x as many are complied.

[–]JustinTime112 0 points1 point ago

Depends on Google's policy. If Google has a policy of anonymizing all data collected from https, then perhaps not.

[–]MrFaucyPaunts 0 points1 point ago

That was implicated when I said "their customers' non-HTTPS traffic."

[–]Malgas 0 points1 point ago

...which wouldn't include your search records (which is to say, the topic at hand) if you set Google to force a secure connection.

[–]MrFaucyPaunts 1 point2 points ago

Why would anyone think that using HTTPS (protection at the transport level) when doing Google searches would somehow prevent Google from collecting logs that could be potentially subpoena'd?

I don't see the point-of-discussion here.

tl;dr: Everyone should use encrypted.google.com.

[–]Malgas 0 points1 point ago

One might wonder why you would bring up ISPs at all if you don't consider that point germane to to the topic at hand. I was merely pointing out that it's super easy to cover that one specific aspect.

[–]MrFaucyPaunts 0 points1 point ago

It's not that I don't think covering your tracks at the ISP level isn't relevant (especially if it's easy to do), it's just that there's nothing disputed to talk about here.

We both know that your ISP and your Google search logs can be subpoena'd, and that HTTPS traffic sent to Google -- which helps prevent the ISP from looking in -- doesn't stop Google from collecting information, so there's no point in re-iterating it.

Anyway, I guess it was just a bit of a misunderstanding. Also kittens.

[–]DemonMuffins 2 points3 points ago

Suddenly, TOR

[–]MrFaucyPaunts 3 points4 points ago

Suddenly, slow and impractical for daily/regular browsing.

That, and Tor is only designed to mask who you are, and not the data you send and receive. So even if you are anonymous, you've still left a digital footprint somewhere (especially if you use Tor with a non-HTTPS site), which could still potentially lead back to you if you're not careful.

But I do suppose if you use Tor for sensitive things, and only with HTTPS, while being very careful about the data you send (eg, NOT doing something shady, and then in the same session, revealing your name/username to the server, allowing the data to be correlated), then that's a good use-case.

[–]DemonMuffins 1 point2 points ago

Yeah no don't worry. It's only for searching murder ways and practices. Nothing to worry MrFaucyPaunts.

[–]MrFaucyPaunts 1 point2 points ago

Well, I trust you. Just don't go around searching the name of the person you want to murder, and then revealing your name and address in the same session, y'hear!

If you ever did, I'd be very disappointed in you, and we'd need to have a very long talk.

[–]DivineRobot 0 points1 point ago

So even if you are anonymous, you've still left a digital footprint somewhere (especially if you use Tor with a non-HTTPS site), which could still potentially lead back to you if you're not careful.

How does it lead back to you? They only have the IP of the exit node and nothing to associate you with. You just have to disable javascript so they can't bypass Tor from the client side.

[–]MrFaucyPaunts 0 points1 point ago

I'll assume that by "they", you meant the ISP, in which case you'd be correct: all they would have is the exit-node's IP address, and possibly a DNS query. But in this instance, I was talking about data the webserver operators might have.

To answer your question though, let's say I was using Tor, had JavaScript and cookies disabled (so session cookies couldn't be established), a generic user agent, and browsed only HTTPS sites. I am effectively anonymous. But let's say I did a Google search for the following:

What would be the best way for MrFaucyPaunts (that's me) to discreetly murder DivineRobot?

Shortly after your untimely demise (don't worry, I love you), let's say Google was subpoena'd, and that search query was revealed. It could be potentially incriminating for MrFaucyPaunts, despite having made the search anonymously.

So basically, while yes, you are anonymous to the server operators, you still have to be careful about what kind of data you send, because they can hold onto it, and sometimes that data can be correlated in surprising ways.

[–]DivineRobot 0 points1 point ago

Well ya, if you are fucking retarded enough to put your own name and address in a search query(why would anyone even do this?) or sign in to anything, then you deserve whatever's coming to you. You might as well broadcast the whole murder and put it on youtube.

[–]celestialwolf -1 points0 points ago

Proxy and private browsing session for those certain happy times. Clear cache regularly.

[–]hobofats 1 point2 points ago

wouldnt it be easier just to delete your browsing history rather than go through with the hassle of encrypting it?

[–]Azuraith 7 points8 points ago

One does not simply delete browser history.

[–]ipigack 0 points1 point ago

My whole computer is encrypted... If you don't have my password, you're not getting ANYTHING off of it.

[–]_kon_ 1 point2 points ago

You are missing the point. His lawyer wants to use the search history to make a point in his favour.

[–]lrrelevant 0 points1 point ago

Thank you, kind internet sir

[–]softmod -2 points-1 points ago

Yeah that's not gonna do a whole lot of good if you're search history is subpenaed from your ISP.

[–]ipigack 1 point2 points ago

That's what the 7 proxies are for.

[–]Footballvike81 21 points22 points ago

Eli Manning, the lesser of the brothers in terms of talent and awesomeness, but the greater in terms of hardware.

[–]Thefinalwerd 24 points25 points ago

In the words of Eli Manning, "What does that even mean?"

[–]kier00 5 points6 points ago

He knows what it means.

[–]cdr1598 1 point2 points ago

Eli has won two Superbowls with the New York Giants, and therefore has 2 championship rings. His brother, Peyton, has only won one, with the Indianapolis Colts, and therefore has only one ring.

[–]pinkythug 13 points14 points ago

He got more super bowl rings than his brothers combined

[–]BroadStreet_Bully 2 points3 points ago

This will bother me forever.

[–]puravida1024 1 point2 points ago

I took sometime, but he's doing very well.

[–]laxchris 1 point2 points ago

Which is why he's the greater in terms of hardware.

[–]Ditario 1 point2 points ago

I'm guessing you never had to deal with living in the shadow of an older sibling?

[–]Footballvike81 1 point2 points ago

I am the 4th of 6. I know all to well.

[–]sinnet 0 points1 point ago

Borg have to deal with that stuff?

[–]jstohler 15 points16 points ago

"Kewl"

[–]I_Eat_Birds 72 points73 points ago

My friends and I all have a pact, where if anyone of us dies, we wipe their computer clean for them.

Also, more people should know about Incognito Mode/Private Browsing.

[–]Gorignak 125 points126 points ago

Yeah, you wouldn't want your family to find out what presents you had been buying for them...

[–]genida 31 points32 points ago

No Truecrypt? If I die my family will find a mysterious 200GB file lying around the harddrive for no particular reason.

I have no worries.

[–]the_only_ass_master 4 points5 points ago

I have a gigabyte .txt just chilling on my desktop.

[–]OuHiroshi 0 points1 point ago

Why don't you just do a hidden partition instead of just a file? Less chance of accidentally getting deleted and they won't find out unless they look at your partition table.

[–]reddit_karma_train 24 points25 points ago

http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/tcncb/if_people_ever_went_through_my_internet_search/

joke32 428 points 1 month ago

If I die my pals will smash my computer to smithereens and I offer the same courtesy to them as well"

"DoranIsNeat 279 points 1 month ago

The sacred pact."

"kickalll 1 point 1 month ago

havent you heard of private browsing"

"kickalll 1 point 1 month ago

or chrome incognito"

[–]Tashre 4 points5 points ago

Lets get mad at Trapped_in_reddit.

[–]dwilliams292 7 points8 points ago

Fuck it next week I'm re-posting this.

[–]enthius 1 point2 points ago

I'll be waiting for it.

[–]bigmouth_strikes 0 points1 point ago

You're porn buddies

[–]samissleman17 0 points1 point ago

But then it Is harder to find your favorite stuff... :/ I keep my computer locked, but it can be hard when they want to watch YouTube when I'm on.

[–]Solkre 3 points4 points ago

Anyone but me wants to use my computer? Sure, let me boot into Guest.

[–]Not_a_blimp 5 points6 points ago

Elderly butts

[–]DCJodon 9 points10 points ago

Oh look this post again.

[–]toast502 3 points4 points ago

What film / series is this from?

[–]AvastYeUpboat 7 points8 points ago

Saturday Night Live.

[–]NolanRoss 3 points4 points ago

What a clever title.

[–]whoops1995 21 points22 points ago

It's better than some bullshit like "Porn level: 1000"

[–]Psada 2 points3 points ago

Also it has a double meaning. It could mean that the OP would like to present, but it is also a line from the sketch.

[–]ClintonHarvey 1 point2 points ago

Elderly butts.

VERY elderly butts.

[–]eponine87 1 point2 points ago

one of the funniest skits in 5 years

[–]mkicon 1 point2 points ago

Recently I've seen commercials for bing advertising their feature to "make searches social".

Yet another reason to stick with google.

[–]Relevant_Showtune 4 points5 points ago

[–]matthawis 5 points6 points ago

I would like to present this repost to the rest of reddit...

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]manole100 7 points8 points ago

Alibi.

[–]Waff1es 0 points1 point ago

Anyone know of the picture where it's an old-timey painting with the old couple where the man is in the foreground looking uneasy while the wife is in the background looking stern. There is a caption that says something along the lines of "when the wife finds your internet history"

[–]zacinthebox 1 point2 points ago

[–]computergroove 0 points1 point ago

I dont think I would trade 25 to life for the right to privacy for anything. What do you guys have in your history that would warrant this?

[–]gunthatshootswords 0 points1 point ago

nice try, government.

[–]realterrorreal 0 points1 point ago

You know this is true for almost all of us..

[–]thewayitgoes 0 points1 point ago

[–]SPAZZEH 0 points1 point ago

Ha! I deleted my history! Jokes on you.

[–]SexualWeasel 0 points1 point ago

Lets just say, his internet history wasn't very.. kewl.

[–]taylormackenziec6 0 points1 point ago

This is why you clear your history

[–]modeltq 0 points1 point ago

is this eli.

[–]Dange543 0 points1 point ago

What show is this from?

[–]BelaKunn 0 points1 point ago

This is why I teach my students the added value of learning how to use virtual machines.

[–]Buckmaster77 0 points1 point ago

well id be screwed either way

[–]izokronus 0 points1 point ago

That goddamn mouth-breathing dummy

(sorry in advance for the quality)

[–]Quiet_Robert -5 points-4 points ago

It's like that moment of panic when your friend borrows your computer and says he's just going to check out something on youtube.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]_kon_ 0 points1 point ago

I make a meal for my friends, try to make it delicious...

[–]Apostolate 1 point2 points ago

I remember when typing you, wouldn't result in hundreds of porn links

Oh 2005! A younger time!

[–]blackertai -1 points0 points ago

Ctrl+L. Never Forget.

[–]legoegoman 0 points1 point ago

Wow you got lots of likes for a repost

[–]mini_man_123 0 points1 point ago

Just a friendly reminder to delete your history. Now.

[–]Josh_The_Boss 0 points1 point ago

Is that Eli Manning?

[–]yayapfool 0 points1 point ago

Epic repost is EPIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCC!

[–]subtly_irrelevant -2 points-1 points ago

I don't usually mind reposts but it gets annoying if one pops up too frequently, like this one.

[–]Lakolguy -1 points0 points ago

"A repost". Do I have to finish your sentences for you?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]CannedBullets -4 points-3 points ago

Already posted a while ago

[–]SourMilk 2 points3 points ago

Great! Then you don't mind if it gets posted again so the thousands of new redditors who have recently signed up can see it, right?

[–]CannedBullets 0 points1 point ago

yeah you're right

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

Although this is a repost and somehow has a little over 1,000 upvotes. There are other ways of getting the Internet history even if your in incognito mode or whatever mode do to the fact it still writes it to your hard drive most things that delete things don't completely wipe it off of your history.

[–]Monkits -1 points0 points ago

This was funny maybe the first two times...

[–]tonkasan -1 points0 points ago

Because redditors like to do this when people repost reddit submissions on FB, I'll take this opportunity to say:

"Saw it on NBC first"

[–]grandpaegg -1 points0 points ago

This is seriously the 13th time I've seen this post.... It still gets over 1k karma.

[–]AyoTech -1 points0 points ago

You would like to present aaaaa repost? Oh I thought so

[–]Venerable -1 points0 points ago

WTF how did about 1000 people not see the older post AND/OR that episode of... Wait, it's possible........

..

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]pentium4borg 0 points1 point ago

Alot is not a word.

[–]360walkaway -1 points0 points ago

Dude looks a lot like Eli Manning.

[–]Pank 7 points8 points ago

guess why

[–]Todomanna -2 points-1 points ago

Paranoia, paranoia everywhere.

[–]Roflkopt3r -2 points-1 points ago

"Found this on Reddit, thought this is totally Reddit material"

Seriously, it's not even possible to count anymore how often this has been posted in the last few days.

[–]Lohengren -2 points-1 points ago

Eli can eat a dick

-signed -A Cowboy fan

[–]Ozwaldo 0 points1 point ago

He gave us this ammo to use against Giants fans for years

-signed -An Eagles fan

(PS. I'm actually starting to like Eli. He seems like a pretty cool guy, and I can't deny that he was on fucking point when it counted last season)