How to stay out of jail

ASS_CRAB · 2 months

The Other Guys.. If anyone is wondering.

armstad · 2 months

"Thanks for the f shack" -love Dirty mike and the boys

Kornephoros · 2 months

How to get girls:

Be attractive
Don't be unattractive

6fast6furious · 2 months

Aim for the bushes.

Satherton · 2 months

GATORS BITCHES BETTER BE WEARING JIMMIES!!

RiNgO70 · 2 months

"I hope you like prison food!"

pseudocide · 2 months

highly underrated movie

pelotero2jn · 2 months

As a black Hispanic, I've never felt less safe.

WingZero1 · 2 months

"I want to walk wrong for three days" - Eva Mendez

I'm not sure if that how it was said.

I_CAPE_RATS · 2 months

This is actually how to stay out of jail.

Alareiks · 2 months

Sounds simple enough, what's next?

TheJanks · 2 months

Ok, first off, a lion…swimming in the ocean? Lions don’t even like water. If you placed it near a river, or some sort of fresh water source, that’d make sense. But you find yourself in the ocean, a 20 ft wave, I’m assuming its off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full, grown, 800 lb tuna with his 20 or 30 friends. You lose that battle. you lose that battle nine times out of ten. And guess what, you wandered into our school, of tuna and we now have a taste of blood! We’ve talked, to ourselves. We’ve communicated and said, ‘you know what? lion tastes good. Lets go get some more lion.’ We’ve developed a system, to establish a beachhead and aggressively hunt you and your family. And we will corner your, your pride, your children, your offspring…”

rokerroker45 · 2 months

That's the same classroom from school of rock.

KMHEA · 2 months

That's a good tip

narboink · 2 months

In all my livin' life the only places I've ever seen cops dress like that are on television or in movies.

360walkaway · 2 months

Also, don't be Middle Eastern-looking at the airport.

twilightcatlady · 2 months

Who else looked at the children to see if any of them were black or hispanic?

FUCITADEL · 2 months

That's solid advice.

Mr_Narwhals · 2 months

Desk pops. That is all

Sc00b · 2 months

Worked for Michael Jackson

Satherton · 2 months

She wants to un plug all the lights and the phones and have a three day sex marathon.

Lhabs · 2 months

http://i.imgur.com/ZRMeE.gif

hipsterdysplasia · 2 months

How about "Try not to commit crimes?"

The vast majority of people in jail, black hispanic or indonesian pygmy, are there because they committed crimes.

It is certainly true that there is differential enforcement but this is largely because, unfortunately, blacks and hispanics are the two most criminal demographics there are in the US, and that despite their relatively small percentage of the population. If they declared a moratorium on crime [I can dream, can't I?] the system would very rapidly stop focusing on them.

It's a fucked up situation but the problem is not entirely or even mostly down to racism. Check out crime statistics sometime if you want a wakeup call.

Windowsfanboy · 2 months

Aim for the bushes.

tommy2fingers · 2 months

I'm a white guy and got thrown in jail for delivering pizza once. They thought I dealt illegal drugs. Searched my whole car, found nothing and still threw me in a cell-- FOR NO REASON.

pinkythug · 2 months

I'm both, jail here I come

SeniorKing · 2 months

Nearly every post you made is a repost. The only reason I am not going to make fun of you is because I like your username.

foxytr900 · 2 months

hey, what film is this?

Teddysean · 2 months

Haha these comics are so funny, they should make them into a movie or something

dexisajerk · 2 months

Oh are we posting this image again? It must be Monday again...

Mi5anthr0pe · 2 months

Got a couple of tips help you guys stay out of jail.

One, don't act like a fucking nigger; they aren't beating you because you took your kids to soccer practice and mowed the lawn for once.

I know this black guy from an old church I used to attend, real nice guy, has a great kid, a happy wife, and a full time job. Guess how many times he's been to jail? None, because he's not a goddamn nigger.

runner5678 · 2 months

Good tip.

whiskeymikie · 2 months

I love reading the title and correctly predicting the content.

mxwjg · 2 months

Repost!

333kyary · 2 months

Just stop looking like you're going to assault every single person that dares looking at you in the eyes, stop hanging around with a knife or a gun in your pants, stop listening to gangsta rap in a stolen car, stop wearing clothes that make you look like a douche. Oh yes, and stop insutling/defying the cops who try to do their job.

Now, you are on the good way - and it has absolutely nothing to do with races. Only people who actually break the law end up in jail. And yes, even if this is humor, too much people actually think this is true.

By the way I find these speeches ironical. The only racists I see when having such discussions are the ones who actually pretend to be victims of racism. Racism against white people exist, and this is a good example.

sasemax · 2 months

I love that movie.

PassionOnThePavement · 2 months

is it bad that when i saw the title of this post, that clip from the movie was the first thing that popped into my head?

MickiFreeIsNotAGirl · 2 months

We will construct a series of breathing apparatuses, with kelp.
We'll be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen.
It's not gonna be days at a time, but, hour, hour forty-five? No problem!

Kaylick · 2 months

STOP BREAKING THE LAW ASSHOLE!

[deleted] · 2 months

This probably the best advice anyone can give you. Also, if you happen to be black or Hispanic you are screwed.

sungmny · 2 months

God damn it

[deleted] · 2 months

Wasn't funny.

SweetNeo85 · 2 months

This also helps.

Menospan · 2 months

Avoid carrying sweet tea and bags of candy at all times

jdeliverer · 2 months

How not to get your ass kicked by the police

Hisui92 · 2 months

Well, at least three of those kids are fucked.

giverofnofucks · 2 months

Good advice - worked for Michael Jackson

capitano32 · 2 months

http://imgur.com/iB6Kj

Son_of_Borr · 2 months

HAHAHA! A race joke! So clever they are! ....

angermom · 2 months

Seriously, this has been reposted at least five times. Come on people.

cookiebox123 · 2 months

What race would he be considered, black? (Ctrl-F)

starjharvey · 2 months

I'm Asian. Am I at risk?

Buckmaster77 · 2 months

most helpful tip ever

ToastScience · 2 months

Oh black scrubs, you so funny.

ChroniclesOfFarnicle · 2 months

underrated movie.

scooter-pi · 2 months

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qw56sh61HEs&feature=youtube_gdata_player

fokyu · 2 months

Is it me or does this look like the class room from billy madison

KoreanTerran · 2 months

[deleted]

lolnah · 2 months

The most painful of reposts, must be the 4th time on the front page in two months.

khanharris1212 · 2 months

Repost

rosshaaaar · 2 months

'I put my foot all the way down.....it made me slightly aroused.' One of my favourite films.

infernalspawnODOOM · 2 months

Who want's to go on a ride-along?

GageMan · 2 months

REPOST!

InsanitySK · 2 months

No Wonder..

ItsMDG · 2 months

"THAT IS BULLSHIT, IN STAR WARS WHEN THE MILLENIUM FALCON BLEW UP AND THEY JUST FLEW AWAY THAT IS BULLSHIT"

VochMaster · 2 months

excuse the dumb here, what movie is this?

supermanbadger · 2 months

You fucking re-post piece shit

Goblicon · 2 months

Or be a decent human

stringerbell · 2 months

I hate these posts that imply that the authorities are racist - without ever mentioning that blacks and hispanics commit crime at a considerably higher rate than whites (in the US, at least).

wanderer11 · 2 months

Obvious repost is obvious. You should have started the title with Not sure if repost

gigashadowwolf · 2 months

Somehow now that Rodney King is dead, this joke is less funny to me. It seems outdated.

Maybe that's because in my neighborhood (part of LA) I've actually seen a white guy get arrested for vandalizing a bus station while his black friend was doing the same on the other side and only got a stern talking to.

logen99999 · 2 months

this is neither funny nor clever. i'm not trying to be politically correct or anti-racists or anything, i'm just saying this is stupid and lazy comedic writing.

blueballz02 · 2 months

Am I the only person that hated this movie? Halfway through it and there was zero story developing. It was boring as fuck IMO. First movie I have ever just got up as left after over an hour of nothingness.

apullin · 2 months

This isn't "nonsense" advice.

WRT hispanic: speak english. Language is the ultimate tool of social mobility. The government is conducted in English. They don't do it because they are discriminatory and racist; in Russia, they used to conduct parliament in French, so the uneducated commoners would not be able to participate.

WRT black: speak english. Normal English. There are erroneous speech patterns that are not uncommon among poor blacks. It's also interesting to not that there is a black "accent", and it fairly constant across the US, whereas the accents of the whites will vary a fair bit.

timdoozy · 2 months

haha just watched this the other day trolol

TheJanks · 2 months

I had several friends fly in two weeks ago for bumming around Texas, fishing, drinking.

Majority of the group arrives, and one guy said he never saw the movie. So we're up till 3am watching it and loving it.

The last guy arrives a few days later, he also hasn't seen it. There were no complaints watching it yet again.

Unbelievably awesome movie.

Euroleo · 2 months

didn see the movie - still i saw the post and was like "don't be black?" and gazing

funny

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