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As a plumber, this is my reaction to most "blocked toilet" calls. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by JayDee240

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[–]boredhermit 210 points211 points ago

As a former plumber, I feel your pain. Gi-Joes, Hairbrushes, toothbrushes, phones, even a diaper or two, tampons. Why do they NOT stop shitting in the toilet when it is broken?!?!?!?

[–]JayDee240[S] 444 points445 points ago

I had one the other day in a single restroom at a grocery store. They say it's been blocked for a while. I get there and look at it, then say very confused to the manager, "This... isn't... possible..." No lie, mound of shit higher than the tank sitting in the bowl, plus probably 1" of piss on the floor and 20lbs of shit scattered across the room. It looked like people gave up on the leaning tower of feces and started just using the floor, and even one in the sink! The smell was unbearable, the whole store smelled. Turns out some prankster shut off the supply valve. I turned it on, grabbed a plunger off the shelf and went to town shoving the horrible nightmare down into the sewers. I told the manager that I was done and the toilet was working. She said "Aren't you going to clean up this mess?" I laughed hysterically as I walked out of the store, got in my truck, and left never to return again.

[–]boredhermit 138 points139 points ago

Yeah, I cant believe how they want you to clean up their mess. The looks you get when you tell the customers no is priceless.

[–]Shimokurasaka 52 points53 points ago

Do you still get paid the full amount that is due?

[–]lowbudgetbatman 80 points81 points ago

well they came to fix a broken toilet not to clean it, so they did the job needed.

[–]Mrs_Brisby 55 points56 points ago

Plumbers. The heroes the bathroom needs, not the ones it deserves.

[–]chudapati09 6 points7 points ago

I've been telling my managers to give the toilet the employ of the month award, the amount of shit that toilet gets in a day and does it practical for free, we're lucky to have it.

[–]MaximumParsimony 7 points8 points ago

Homeowners, Tradespersons, Janitors, lend me your ears;

I come to fix your Toilets, not to clean them.

The mounds of shit that men doo, live after them;

The good is oft interred with their bones;

So it is with Toilets. The noble Client

Hath told you the Toilet was all too easily clogged:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault;

And grievously hath the Toilet answer'd it with a mound of shit and a sea of urine.

Here, under leave of the Client and the rest, —

For the Client is an honorable man;

So are they all, all honorable men, —

Come I to unclog the Toilet.

It was a Toilet, faithful and just:

But the Client says it was easily clogged;

And the Client is an honorable man.

He hath brought many billable hours to me

with invoices did he my coffers did fill:

Did this the Toilet do?

When the poor have crapp'd, the Toilet did ne'er fail to flush it:

And flush'd still sterner stuff: A diaper or two, verily even unto a cellphone.

Yet the Client says it was unreliable;

And the Client is an honourable man.

You all did see that when full of Gi-Joes & toothbrushes,

It still function'd in kingly form,

And did ne'er o'erflow: was this easily clogged ?

Yet the Client says it was;

And, sure, he is an honourable man.

I speak not to disprove what the Client spoke,

But here I am to speak what I do know.

You who all did crap in it:

What cause withholds you then to mourn for it?

[–]drockers 37 points38 points ago

Some how people correlate plumber with maid. Honestly, if I go to fix a bathroom and there is shit in the toilet I'll go out tell the customer to clean up and then I fix their toilet.

[–]ThiswishIwish 18 points19 points ago

I have never understood calling someone in to see a huge freaking mess like that... have people no damn shame?!

Then again I did buy a house once that the sewer line had totally fallen apart (curse you Orangeburg pipe) and they were still shitting down it dumping a mound of shit under the house and were apparently totally cool with it.

The house I bought just this last month though use to belong to a prostitute and a drug dealer... yeah I got all sorts of plumbing issues right about now lol.

[–]drockers 10 points11 points ago

Haha, ya I know those feels. My father bought a house that advertised a septic tank, and winterized house. Took a look under there and the kitchen sink literally goes through the floor and then just dumps water onto the ground under the house. There also isn't a septic tank.

[–]ThiswishIwish 8 points9 points ago

I wish I could say that was shocking lol but I grew up out here in West Tx where it is still not uncommon to buy an old place with a "septic tank" only to have it dug up and find a pipe that goes to nothing or even better a 55 gallon drum with nail holes! And OMG at the damn orangeburg pipe that is still in the ground out here...

The sinks tubs and washers that dump on the ground are still pretty much a thing here to they call it grey water. My washer actually dumps into my front yard right this moment and it is a totally legal way of watering your lawn in the drought with out breaking water restrictions. I will be fixing it at some point but eh bigger fish to fry first!

[–]drockers 6 points7 points ago

to buy an old place with a "septic tank" only to have it dug up and find a pipe that goes to nothing or even better a 55 gallon drum with nail holes!

That's a farmers septic, it actually works rather well for 1-2 peoples waste. What I'm saying is there is literally nothing there!

I will be fixing it at some point but eh bigger fish to fry first!

Here in Canada winterization is a rather big fish haha.

[–]ThiswishIwish 5 points6 points ago

Yep a farmers septic. But here you find them in just nasty never been changed out no one knew they were there fashion. The nothing there ones are worse though shudder

Canada eh? Well I could see winterization being big there what with the ice and snow and freaking COLD hahaha. I HATE HATE HATE cold and will stick with my 110F summers thanks lol.

[–]tribblehippy 2 points3 points ago

How many of those "nothing there" systems are 20 feet away from a well that provides drinking water to the home? Eek.

In Florida, the issue is our high seasonal water table. Septic systems have to be elevated so they don't end up flooded during the wet season.

[–]ChiperSoft 2 points3 points ago

Did he not learn this until after the sale went through? Seems like a home inspector should have caught that... or does Canada not have those?

[–]drockers 4 points5 points ago

No, we do. The sale of the house was such a cluster fuck, and the home inspection wasn't done during the sale because he got it for a steal any ways.

[–]jasonhalo0 8 points9 points ago

Where do you expect them to put the shit, if not down the toilet? (I can understand if there's shit outside the toilet, but I wouldn't know my toilet is broken until after shitting in it, by which time it's too late)

[–]drockers 19 points20 points ago

So fish your shit out of the toilet and call a plumber.

If I'm under a house tieing into a sewage drain obviously I'm going to be working with shit all day.

But I'm not going to reach in pull your log of shit out of the toilet just because you don't want to. This is where the maid thing comes in. My job is to plumb buildings, my job isn't to clean the shit out of your toilet.

[–]Davidisontherun 20 points21 points ago

Plumber here, you don't have a toilet auger? Chews right through shit and then you just wash it off in the customer's bath.

[–]drockers 6 points7 points ago

I do mostly commercial work, but I'll get assigned some residential/service jobs occasionally.

If I'm going in it's generally because the plunger/staff toilet auger/chemicals didn't work.

So I'm usually taking off the toilet and using the big snake or chasing around clean outs, and I don't want to have my head in the toilet taking out the t-bolts if there is a big shit sitting there staring me in the face. But I guess that's why my designation is commercial/industrial not residential/service.

[–]xenoph2 4 points5 points ago

I don't want to have my head in the toilet taking out the t-bolts if there is a big shit sitting there staring me in the face

now that's a motto right there

[–]Ennuiandthensome 2 points3 points ago

Never calling a plumber again

load more comments (2 replies)

    [–]jasonhalo0 4 points5 points ago

    Where do I put it? just throw it in the lawn or what?

    My reasoning would be "Well, if they can get the toilet working again they can just flush it down, right?"

    [–]gregarious24 8 points9 points ago

    Eat it with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

    [–]weewolf 6 points7 points ago

    Trash bag.

    load more comments (1 reply)

      [–]valas34 212 points213 points ago

      Clean that mess up!

      [–]Red_XIII 90 points91 points ago

      http://i.imgur.com/Zjwo4.gif

      [–]xenoph2 27 points28 points ago

      http://i.imgur.com/r3u0y.gif

      [–]machello 6 points7 points ago

      http://i.imgur.com/JoiWX.gif

      load more comments (2 replies)

        [–]weewolf 12 points13 points ago

        Pick up that can!

        [–]AAlexanderK 8 points9 points ago

        That was my first 'fuck the police' moment of my entire life.

        [–]FuCKiNTowel 27 points28 points ago

        I respect you for doing that type of job, seriously, I couldn't do it.

        [–]dasstrooper 16 points17 points ago

        Did you not take a picture?

        [–]JayDee240[S] 35 points36 points ago

        No, normally I take pictures of everything odd that I run into, but the only thing on my mind that day was to gtfo of there ASAP

        [–]jesushitlerchrist 4 points5 points ago

        I want to see these pictures. Please, you have no idea how much I love shit threads.

        [–][deleted] ago

        [deleted]

        [–]drockers 13 points14 points ago

        It's generally stores own by Asian women, they just shit on everything and push tampons down the poor sad toilet t ill it gives out and then literally just mound shit on top of it. I have never had a good experience visiting an Asian owned or Asian populated store as a plumber.

        [–]jesushitlerchrist 5 points6 points ago

        Well, to be fair, the ones who don't shit all over the place probably aren't the ones calling you...

        load more comments (4 replies)

          [–]matthebutcher 9 points10 points ago

          I work for a janitorial company I'm the one who cleans up shit like this;) The last one I did was 4 stalls and the toilets didn't so much back up as they exploded 5 ft up every wall in every stall. Then we didnt get called until it was dried on. That day I learned dried toilet paper turns to concrete. I hate days like that.

          [–]cbs_ 13 points14 points ago

          Please do an AMA.

          [–]JayDee240[S] 22 points23 points ago

          Although I am a darn good PHVAC technician and installer, I am only 21 years old, so with only having 4 years of experience in the field I feel like my answers would be limited for an AMA. I have a few good stories and lot's of knowledge, but probably not enough to entertain reddit. Feel free to ask me what you want in this comment thread, I'll do my best to answer.

          [–]skarface6 9 points10 points ago

          I would like to hear some stories. Preferably funny, please.

          [–]JayDee240[S] 54 points55 points ago

          Here's a story from the perspective of the guy that trained me in HVAC installing.

          • First day of work.
          • Sent to help 60 year old plumber with a service call.
          • Arrive to see sewer blocked up into bathtub.
          • Trytosnakeitout.wmv.
          • 1 hour later, still blocked, customer is upset.
          • He wants to know what the bill will be ($80 per person per hour).
          • Flips the fuck out at the thought of the potential bill.
          • We find a clean-out in the basement.
          • Customer still pissed as fuck, saying how stupid plumbers are.
          • Open clean-out to see big wad of shit and paper.
          • Customer yelling things like Whydoyouchargesomuchmoney.wav and Anyonecanbeaplumber.mp3.
          • 60 year old plumber rolls up sleeves and reaches in a 4" clean-out with bare skin up to his shoulder.
          • Takes out 3 handfuls of you know what.
          • Flails arm around sending shit everywhere.
          • Points at customer with shit covered arm and says "That's why you pay me so much."
          • Customer vomits all over the place.
          • Justice served.
          • Go back to headquarters.
          • Tell boss I don't want to be a plumber, I can't do that.
          • Promoted to head AirConditioning installer..

          True story. The 60 year old plumber (70 something now) still works there, he tells the same story.

          [–]rhinowaffle 13 points14 points ago

          Nothing I've read on reddit has made me laugh more than this. The mental image of a grown man pulling shit out of the toilet, then flailing his arms around sending shit all over the house is flawless.

          [–]ThomasTurbate 14 points15 points ago

          greentext

          [–]JayDee240[S] 11 points12 points ago

          I fudged it up like 3 times, settled with bullets *

          [–]ThomasTurbate 27 points28 points ago

          • First day of work.
          • Sent to help 60 year old plumber with a service call.
          • Arrive to see sewer blocked up into bathtub.
          • Trytosnakeitout.wmv.
          • 1 hour later, still blocked, customer is upset.
          • He wants to know what the bill will be ($80 per person per hour).
          • Flips the fuck out at the thought of the potential bill.
          • We find a clean-out in the basement.
          • Customer still pissed as fuck, saying how stupid plumbers are.
          • Open clean-out to see big wad of shit and paper.
          • Customer yelling things like Whydoyouchargesomuchmoney.wav and Anyonecanbeaplumber.mp3.
          • 60 year old plumber rolls up sleeves and reaches in a 4" clean-out with bare skin up to his shoulder.
          • Takes out 3 handfuls of you know what.
          • Flails arm around sending shit everywhere.
          • Points at customer with shit covered arm and says "That's why you pay me so much."
          • Customer vomits all over the place.
          • Justice served.
          • Go back to headquarters.
          • Open the door
          • Get on the floor
          • Everybody walk the dinosaur

          [–]Triviaandwordplay 4 points5 points ago

          Promoted to head AirConditioning installer

          As a former HVAC installer, that's not a promotion.

          I'd rather run rooters down shit filled pipes than crawl in hot attics all day.

          Also, every job my plumber did involved using a rooter and running it all the way to the street. No immediate call backs when you do that. All he ever used was a rooting attachment, and he sharpened it before each job.

          If he ever got an immediate call back, it was because something was seriously wrong, like a rotted out waste pipe.

          [–]JayDee240[S] 9 points10 points ago

          I get paid a lot more doing HVAC as opposed to plumbing, so I consider it a promotion. I personally don't mind 130F degree Attics, fiberglass duct board, or insulation as much as I mind moldy, shitty basements. Just different opinions I suppose.

          [–]skarface6 3 points4 points ago

          Daaaaang. Got any more stories? That was crazy.

          [–]JayDee240[S] 9 points10 points ago

          Same old guy. At a truck stop, has a urinal off the wall cleaning the calcium out of the back. He has the urinal sitting on his lap. Dude walks in, ignores the 2 other urinals on the wall and pisses in the one the old guys holding. He very calmly waits for him to finish, dumps the piss on the floor, then goes back to cleaning (bare hands mind you). I just stood there watching in horror.

          [–]dbcification 5 points6 points ago

          But... But...

          HOW THE FUCK DO YOU PISS IN A URINAL THAT SOMEONE IS HOLDING. WHAT THE FUCK.

          [–]EasyReader 3 points4 points ago

          Is it possible that guy may have chosen the job because he actually enjoys being covered in other peoples' waste.

          [–]JayDee240[S] 5 points6 points ago

          I think he just enjoys freaking out new employees and rude customers, but perhapse you're right.

          load more comments (1 reply)

            [–]Blackrook7 5 points6 points ago

            I just woke up dreading the call I got last night. I'm going to go crawl under a house, open a cleanout, get covered in shit. I'm bringing a trash bag and a change of clothes.

            [–]pantsoff 6 points7 points ago

            Hazmat suit?

            [–]JayDee240[S] 17 points18 points ago

            Here is what's left of a company supplied "hazmat suit" that I wore while belly crawling through sewage in a tiny crawlspace for 50+ feet to fix a busted sewer line. It was under this motel. Leak was in the center and the access to the small crawl space was on either side of the building lengthwise.

            [–]Loojay 28 points29 points ago

            http://i.imgur.com/UFvIa.jpg

            [–]mouschi 4 points5 points ago

            So claustrophobics need not apply? That sounds horrific.

            [–]JayDee240[S] 6 points7 points ago

            I was very claustrophobic when I started. I like to look my fears in the face and tell them to fuck off. Except spiders, I'll always be afraid of them.

            [–]andrewpurpleworm 4 points5 points ago

            Hahahahhahahha! Nice. What store was that?

            [–]JayDee240[S] 5 points6 points ago

            It was a Rite Aid

            [–]andrewpurpleworm 2 points3 points ago

            Wow. Never goin there again

            [–]Ryan_Firecrotch 4 points5 points ago

            But.. 89 cent candy!

            [–]andrewpurpleworm 2 points3 points ago

            Lol and crap all over...

            [–]Ryan_Firecrotch 1 point2 points ago

            89 Cent. Candy.

            [–]andrewpurpleworm 1 point2 points ago

            I kno i kno.... So.... tempting.... But i like to stay fit

            [–]Siobhan97 6 points7 points ago

            They have some nerve telling you to clean up that horror. And why did they wait so long for a plumber?

            [–]Obligatory_Quote 2 points3 points ago

            kudos to you, your a plumber not a preservation or remediation worker.

            [–]Zitozu 1 point2 points ago

            the leaning tower of feces

            load more comments (14 replies)

              [–]Meme_weaver 15 points16 points ago

              While I can certainly sympathize that you had a tough job and I take nothing away from that, I am also going to have to speak up for the consumer here. I recently had a badly clogged toilet that just stopped working with no warning, and I had no idea at the time. I took a shit into the toilet and upon flushing it it overflowed and flooded the room with shit water.

              It turned out that my roommate had dropped a about 4 pens and the battery to his cell phone in there. But there was no way I would know not to shit into what seemed to be a perfectly working toilet and/or not to flush it.

              [–][deleted] ago

              [deleted]

              [–]OhHiDereGoodFriend 2 points3 points ago

              But if the plumber doesn't clean it, who will?

              [–]Ruvaak 1 point2 points ago

              The person whose job is to clean the bathroom any other time?

              load more comments (1 reply)

                [–]yammerade 5 points6 points ago

                I would be interested in the story as to how your roommate managed to drop four pens and the battery to his cell phone into the pooper. I mean, understand pens fall out of pockets, and I can understand cell phones... but how does it work out that BOTH a handful of pens and the BATTERY to his cell phone end up in the toilet?

                [–]Cpt_Hockeyhair 17 points18 points ago

                I am going to take a swing at this...

                He first dropped his battery in there. Not wanting to get his hands dirty, he attempted multiple times to fish it out using the pens like chop sticks. After losing his third pen, he said "Fuck it!" Threw the fourth pen in and attempted to flush it all.

                [–]Mentalseppuku 6 points7 points ago

                Not wanting to get his hands dirty

                They just don't raise men like they used to.

                [–]Phlexonance 1 point2 points ago

                No rubber gloves at home? ಠ_ಠ

                load more comments (1 reply)

                  [–]Meme_weaver 2 points3 points ago

                  He had extreme ADHD combined with extreme pot-head alzheimer's. According to him, he would take pens in there to do crossword puzzles while shitting, put the pen on the sink to get up and wash his hands, then forget about the pen, and eventually once in a while the pen would get knocked into the toilet and sit there until flushed.

                  The battery, we will never know what happened. I remember his battery being missing one day, and then he just wound up buying a new one. I never found out it was in the toilet until the plumber extracted it and he didn't remember how it got in there.

                  [–]FatalTricycle 13 points14 points ago

                  If a toilet is looking its about to overflow don't sit there awkwardly. Open the back and pull up the air bladder thingamabob. It will stop the water from flowing. How do you not know this already?

                  [–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

                  I'm wondering if you have an unusual toilet or something of if I'm misunderstanding you. On the kind I'm familiar with, pulling up on that buoy thing pulls the rubber stopper off the hole at the bottom of the back chamber and lets the water flow from the back chamber into the bowl; so if you've just pushed the lever and want to prevent a flooding, you'd have to reach in and force that rubber stopper back into place to seal the hole. What you described is what I do when you want to flush a toilet with a broken lever.

                  [–]Mentalseppuku 3 points4 points ago

                  The stopper in the bottom is connected to the handle, the float is connected to the refill valve. Lifting the float will stop water from entering the tank, but any water still in the tank will drain into the bowl.

                  Unless you have one of those newfangled ball floats where the ball sits in a tube and when the water is over the tube it rushes in and the ball bobs up. If you have one of those you need to shut off the water at the back of the toilet.

                  [–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

                  Oh I see what you mean now, and you're right. I was thinking about trying to abort a flush mid-flush (which would probably take lightning-fast reflexes and not do all that much, now that I think about it).

                  edit: and some toilets have a little buoy thing attached to the chain that attaches the lever and stopper; that's what I thought you were referring to originally, my mistake.

                  [–][deleted] ago

                  [deleted]

                  [–]thenewiBall 3 points4 points ago

                  Why would you show people that? Now every asshole is going to do that to toilets worldwide I was much better off thinking that it was some comically large valve in the back of the building

                  [–]ChiperSoft 6 points7 points ago

                  If you needed that diagram to know that toilets have shutoff valves, you are not an observant person.

                  load more comments (2 replies)

                    [–]oobey 12 points13 points ago

                    I have an instinctive aversion to putting my hand into a mechanical device that's in the middle of doing something.

                    All I'm saying is I know a kid who lifted up a thingamabob once, and now he doesn't have hands. Food for thought.

                    [–]Pandatotheface 23 points24 points ago

                    Now that's some shit if i've ever heard it, i think the only way you could lose your hands in a toilet cistern is if you closed the lid on your hands and had someone else jump up and down on it.

                    [–]oobey 7 points8 points ago

                    Oh, well, it was a steampunk toilet.

                    [–]Sorkijan 7 points8 points ago

                    He lost his hands in a toilet? That must have really clogged it up.

                    [–]arnoldlol 6 points7 points ago

                    Please no.

                    load more comments (1 reply)

                      [–]xadz 3 points4 points ago

                      Toilet's are renowned for chopping people's hands off.

                      [–]Meme_weaver 1 point2 points ago

                      We didn't have a tank toilet. Nothing to open, just a pipe in the back that went into the wall. If you know of a way to stop future floods after a flush goes wrong, I'm all ears.

                      [–]SupersonicCicada 1 point2 points ago

                      It is possible to give advice without being a dick about it. How do you not know this already?

                      [–]FatalTricycle 3 points4 points ago

                      I was raised in a dickhead advice world, thought that's how everyone learned. My bad.

                      load more comments (1 reply)

                        [–]Th3_0range 3 points4 points ago

                        The problem is people who shit in the toilet anyway after the toilet is obviously clogged.

                        load more comments (4 replies)

                          [–]userdeath 2 points3 points ago

                          I flushed half a mango down once; was stoned, sorry.

                          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

                          Diapers!? WTF!

                          load more comments (1 reply)

                            [–]genomeAnarchist 51 points52 points ago

                            You left out the part where he looks up at the ceiling. xD

                            [–]Essovius 24 points25 points ago

                            i was kinda looking foward to that

                            [–]RecDep 8 points9 points ago

                            I missed.

                            [–]Ihatemimes 2 points3 points ago

                            So that's your excuse for getting it on the ceiling?

                            [–]ShoesWithSouls 1 point2 points ago

                            came here to say that. I love it

                            [–]Triviaandwordplay 105 points106 points ago

                            Owned a restaurant.
                            Customer tells me there's a problem in the ladies room.
                            I know who used it last, it was a hooker and her pimp.
                            Toilet is backed up and has overflowed.
                            There's shit, piss, and blood in the toilet and flowing out of it.
                            With paper towels.
                            All on top of an empty 40oz beer bottle.
                            There's a used condom in the sink.
                            And a used needle for injecting heroin.
                            There's blood in the sink/on the sink/on the floor under the sink.
                            She obviously got fucked while on her period against the sink.
                            I had to clean it all up.
                            The end.

                            [–]ownworldman 68 points69 points ago

                            Did you greentext on reddit?

                            [–]Triviaandwordplay 19 points20 points ago

                            I'm lazy today, and didn't feel like typing the story out as I have in the past.

                            I have lots of stories.

                            [–]hinduguru 15 points16 points ago

                            Give us another story

                            [–]Triviaandwordplay 43 points44 points ago

                            My place was well known for the seasoned steak-cut fries that I sold. At my peak, I sold about 2000 lbs per week.

                            I had a self serve ket dispenser on a counter where customers pick up their food.

                            You just cut the lid off of a #10 can, and drop it in the dispenser. When it gets towards the bottom, it spits a bit if you try to pump it vigorously.

                            So it's my lunch rush, it's busy, and an obnoxious loudmouthed kid is vigorously filling up 2oz cups with ketchup when it starts to sputter. He keeps going though, without regard to those around him, and gets ketchup on a scrappy older dude next to him.

                            It's not just that the kid got ketchup on him, but how obnoxious he was about it. He didn't say sorry or anything, in fact he thought it was funny.

                            So the short but scrappy looking older dude tells the towering kid to wipe the ketchup off of his shoe(actually it was a boot. A black steel toed boot). The kid laughs at him, so the scrappy dude puts his hand under the dispenser, fills it with ketchup, and smacks the kid upside the head.

                            Ketchup goes everywhere, and everyone thought it was blood. The kid was pretty much "What the fuck!", but that's all he did. That man was very angry, and you could tell he was ready to fight if the kid didn't walk away.

                            The man was a regular customer for years. Relatively soft spoken, but he had a scrappy look to him. Kind of like a quiet biker type.

                            [–]skarface6 19 points20 points ago

                            And that's why you don't mess with random people. Wayyy to easy to pick the wrong one and get beat on.

                            Plus, you know, it's wrong.

                            [–]JCorkill 6 points7 points ago

                            The kid deserved it.

                            [–]Ryan_Firecrotch 1 point2 points ago

                            Plus, you know, it's wrong.

                            The random guy gets to be a boss though.

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                              [–]Phlexonance 2 points3 points ago

                              what's "greentexting"?

                              [–]Durzo_Blint 2 points3 points ago

                              Because I'm too lazy to explain it.

                              [–]POULTRY_PLACENTA 1 point2 points ago

                              Smells like summer in here.

                              [–]dbcification 1 point2 points ago

                              Oh, sweet innocence.

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                                [–]al0newestand 10 points11 points ago

                                Sometimes not knowing when to quit is a bad thing.

                                [–]Triviaandwordplay 8 points9 points ago

                                It wasn't the last time she used my restroom. She went to hide a piece of tar heroin in my recessed TP dispenser, but it fell through a small mounting hole in the bottom of the TP dispenser.

                                So she had her pimp come to retrieve it. He basically ripped the dispenser and wall out to get to it.

                                [–]lamaksha77 11 points12 points ago

                                and what were your colleagues doing while a pimp is ripping apart the restaurant bathroom?? I know they say to be nice to customers but sometimes a bit of pepper spray works as well...

                                [–]Triviaandwordplay 5 points6 points ago

                                The restrooms were on the back of the restaurant, and the entrance to them was from the outside. They knew something was going on, but were probably too afraid to check it out themselves. I'm sure they knew some sort of shenanigans was going on, but didn't know things were actually being ripped out.

                                [–]skarface6 6 points7 points ago

                                Hey Farva, what's that restaurant you like?

                                [–]lingurinn 5 points6 points ago

                                You mean Shenanigans ?

                                http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFZG8KQJni8

                                [–]cumfarts 1 point2 points ago

                                it's a lot harder to quit when you own the place

                                [–]rmm45177 3 points4 points ago

                                Ugh, that is fucking disgusting. Some people are just so gross. Hopefully they washed their hands on the way out.

                                [–]dbcification 2 points3 points ago

                                GG Pimp

                                Fucks hooker on period in restroom, shoots up

                                Washes hands afterwards

                                [–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

                                Your sacrifice shall be sung and praised through the ages

                                [–]cumfarts 4 points5 points ago

                                why didn't you just tell one of your minimum wage lackies to clean it? or did you try and they all quit?

                                [–]Triviaandwordplay 10 points11 points ago

                                Sometimes you have to lead by example.

                                [–]cumfarts 5 points6 points ago

                                not when you could potentially get aids

                                [–]akatherder 3 points4 points ago

                                HIV doesn't last long in the wild... Not that I'd want anything to do with that disaster zone any way.

                                [–]Triviaandwordplay 5 points6 points ago

                                I know a plumber with hepatitis, so there doesn't need to be blood to catch something serious.

                                Yeah, it's a restaurant, so there's always disposable gloves on hand(heh).

                                [–]waltonky 2 points3 points ago

                                I see the wordplay, but I'm not so sure about the trivia. If it's about the plumber you know, I feel robbed, but I'll let it pass.

                                [–]Triviaandwordplay 1 point2 points ago

                                A quick search led me to a government health bureau's website that says plumbers have not been shown to be at increased risk for catching hepatitis, so perhaps the plumber I know that has it didn't get it from his work. http://www.idph.state.ia.us/HivStdHep/Hepatitis.aspx?prog=Hep&pg=HepA

                                [–]waltonky 1 point2 points ago

                                I applaud your follow up.

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                                    [–][deleted] 22 points23 points ago

                                    OLA OP and fellow plumber !!! your post inspired so many memories!! Plumber for 23+ yrs- Stuff like that never phased me-I always loved the laugh I got showing up to "economical" housing when the WC had not worked for a week and they all shat in the bath tub for a week-the look when I told them-"call me when you have the shit cleaned out-is priceless.

                                    I had a highrise I renovated and doing walk arounds I saw water at the 8th floor-follow it up to find water at a doorway...tenant is on holidays-get master key- the stack had plugged and ALL above discharge had gone into his apartment for a week.One of my apprentices started gagging-I suggested he might like another line of work because that is standard fare LOL Same apprentice gagged when I got covered in shit from a stack I cut apart(and told tenants not to flush-they never listen) you could see corn and carrots in the shit..I laughed..he yakked and was dry ???

                                    Test tubes-syringes-shorts from Millhaven penitentiary in the McDonald's WC drain across the street LOL-glass baby bottle-sea shell-bottle of hand cream-syringes again :0 you name it and it will have been in a toilet residential is not bad except for rotting soap and hair balls/tampons that end up football size( I ALWAYS physically showed the homeowner LOL)

                                    Snaking drains in Industrial/commercial /Institutional is is much more prone to "fun" nothing like clearing drains at meat packing plants(blood collection drains are a joy ;)/morgues/hospitals/Old age homes :(/rendering plants/commercial bakeries _the dough rotting is EVIL@! Hair traps in hair salons/Hair traps-drains in vet clinics =HUGE never ending fur balls /Huge grease interceptors and the associated drains or that sweet smell of congealed pop in restaurant drains /Hostess -Frito lay and congealed corn in the drains (like concrete)/ Man I miss it all-always an adventure and I have been covered in just about anything you can imagine plus caustic chemicals etc I always loved asking if they had a MSDS sheet for the drain

                                    Some of the oddest..covered in ink at The Toronto Star....that shit is hard to get off anything and is remnant from the old days of dumping crap down the drain/clearing soap debris in a drain system at P&G clearing a Comet line at P&G/clearing a dust collector on a crane - 200 ft up(hauled the sewer machine up with a rope :( cleaning a drain in a gold and jewellery factory with a guard 24/7 and CRAZY security protocols/ clearing hot caustic drains while suspended over hydrochloric acid vats

                                    and the oddest--mid winter dairy farm-smashed ice access hole in a "juice lagoon" and wore hip waders while tied to back- hoe bucket so I could snake a huge drain backwards (was full of hay and manure and going downstream with fire hose running along - just punched holes that collapsed) after 8 hrs of freezing and manure..SUCCESS!!! Of course the WORST..emergency after hour call(usually Christmas or something you would like to NOT work) one toilet out of 3 in a house and they call rather then shut it off till regular time......jerks!!

                                    [–]Level_75_Zapdos 9 points10 points ago

                                    http://i.imgur.com/gEMPl.gif

                                    [–]phyzome 15 points16 points ago

                                    That was fascinating -- I really mean it -- but I'm pretty sure the caustic chemicals you worked with have permanently damaged the part of your brain that handles punctuation, so I think I missed about half of that.. :-/

                                    [–]Blackrook7 2 points3 points ago

                                    I can vouch for the bakery, the place is grosser than anyone could imagine.

                                    [–]PENISPUNCHER 4 points5 points ago

                                    Why was this so hard for me to read?

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                                      [–]canehdianchick 14 points15 points ago

                                      I work in maintenance at a hospital---- Until you've had to unclog toilets in a medical facility for months-- you ain't seen nothing yet! I use to have a nasty toilet-off with a friend-- texting photos of the most brutalized toilet you could find-- needless to say: I always won.

                                      [–]mpitof 1 point2 points ago

                                      Tell us more.

                                      [–]canehdianchick 1 point2 points ago

                                      Well blood clots in hospice... Having to break up poo in mental health that is so bloody solid that you have to put all your weight and a kitchen knife to it.. to even get it to break up and go down... But the ABSOLUTE WORST toilets to get called to are the IT guys in the hospital--- Seriously.. They clog toilets with black twinky sludge-- it just doesn't flush-- and in the one older part of the building-- for some bloody reason the bathroom doesn't have a drain in the floor-- and the flapper and handle like to get stuck leaving the toilet running--- so you get the black sludge flowing out into the hall way in no time. Those are the fun ones.

                                      [–]catchthe22 12 points13 points ago

                                      Anyone else enjoy Daddy Daycare as much as I did?

                                      [–]Song_of_Sixpence 1 point2 points ago

                                      Yep, I thought it was really cute. : )

                                      [–]WaterSnake 1 point2 points ago

                                      I watched this movie at least 6 times when I was a kid. I haven't watched it since then, fearing that it didn't age well.

                                      [–]catchthe22 2 points3 points ago

                                      I believe I was college when I watched it

                                      [–]Misifuca 35 points36 points ago

                                      Have you tought of joining Greendale's AC repair school? You won't have to deal with those kinds of things.

                                      [–]Abed_is_batman_now 10 points11 points ago

                                      They also have a black hitler and an astronaut making paninis.

                                      [–]sanfranman 8 points9 points ago

                                      How do you work with raw sewage? Do you clean it first?

                                      [–]MeatCarpet 36 points37 points ago

                                      Working with raw sewage is dangerous. It's best to cook it first.

                                      [–]sneerpeer 3 points4 points ago

                                      Add little bit of salt and pepper, bellissimo!

                                      [–]aslate 6 points7 points ago

                                      Add some broth, a potato. Baby, you've got a stew going.

                                      [–]skarface6 1 point2 points ago

                                      Shouldn't it be "buonissimo"?

                                      [–]cbs_ 1 point2 points ago

                                      Cook it in clamato.

                                      [–]ecmmyers 4 points5 points ago

                                      Way to ruin the raw sewage.

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                                        [–]boilerup11 12 points13 points ago

                                        I missed.

                                        [–]Song_of_Sixpence 6 points7 points ago

                                        What do you mean you missed??

                                        [–][deleted] ago

                                        [deleted]

                                        [–]JayDee240[S] 21 points22 points ago

                                        I'm actually a germaphobe as well. Becoming a plumber was a way of facing my fears I suppose. The company I work for only sends me on emergency weekend plumbing calls. I'm mostly a heating and air conditioning technician during the week. HVAC is much cleaner, but I still wear gloves.

                                        [–]Honestly_ 9 points10 points ago

                                        There might have been less intense ways of facing your fears.

                                        EDIT: Freemasons run the country!.

                                        [–]skarface6 3 points4 points ago

                                        Weee doooooo

                                        [–]rmm45177 4 points5 points ago

                                        My therapist told me his first job was plumbing, too. He was also a germaphobe.

                                        One of the stories he tells me is they were working in the basement of a building currently being built and the construction workers broke a pipe or something. There was about a foot of shit water and piss everywhere. He says he slipped it and fell under the water with his mouth open. Just thinking about that story makes me want to throw up.

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                                          [–]FictionalGeorge 7 points8 points ago

                                          It's on the ceiling!

                                          [–]renegadefunk 5 points6 points ago

                                          continuation of the gif http://i.imgur.com/Mf2L7.gif

                                          [–]metalhead4 8 points9 points ago

                                          Shit... there is shit everywhere.

                                          [–]mrpotatoes 4 points5 points ago

                                          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6C9RBMCJOY

                                          [–]ShadowAssassin 1 point2 points ago

                                          Thanks to that video.. I found this.

                                          [–]BrndyAlxndr 4 points5 points ago

                                          Got any good stories?

                                          [–]ClappingBear 3 points4 points ago

                                          I've seen some horrible backed up toilets, but still nothing is worse than clogged kitchen drains and what the fuck ever that black stuff that comes out of drains is. We had a customer recently who had a clean out in the basement for her kitchen sink. OK, cool, just go down in the basement and run the machine in the clean out. Easy job, they said. Open the cap, and that gunk starts pouring out of. It looked like we hit oil in the middle of this ladies house. After about an hour and running a Rigid K50 we finally got it. we packed our shit up and left, there was quite the mess to clean up.

                                          [–]ClappingBear 4 points5 points ago

                                          Heres another one we did, just as bad. That stuff is fucking impossible to clean up. Picture doesn't show the rest of the black water on the floor, or how long it took to clean up. http://i.imgur.com/tnjcJ.jpg

                                          [–]Davidisontherun 2 points3 points ago

                                          urinal drains. worse than anything in the plumbing world. the piss and puck mixture in there is vile

                                          [–]aloyisiouss 2 points3 points ago

                                          I had a plumber out to the house to do a little work and he told me there's only two things you need to remember about plumbing:

                                          1) shit goes downhill 2) don't bite your fingernails.

                                          Good life advice in general...

                                          [–]feeblemuffin 2 points3 points ago

                                          are you really a plumber?

                                          [–]TheCakeBoss 2 points3 points ago

                                          what was the worst toilet you've experienced?

                                          [–]lubeinatube 2 points3 points ago

                                          "I missed."

                                          [–]tristan113 2 points3 points ago

                                          Post to /r/reactiongifs

                                          [–]Yatagasaru 2 points3 points ago

                                          I'm a janitor and this is my reaction everyday I clean the bathrooms, especially the women's bathroom. If it's without a doubt plugged and absolutely fucked, I call maintenance (I work in a factory).

                                          [–]Champigne 2 points3 points ago

                                          I work as a plumber's helper. It's always the damn tampons.

                                          [–]KVK4 1 point2 points ago

                                          Is your name Mario?

                                          [–]nesatt 1 point2 points ago

                                          How many toilets have glass doors?

                                          [–]Mrjetsondc 1 point2 points ago

                                          I appreciate the plumbers who fix the toilets my shit wrecks.

                                          [–]CounterPillow 1 point2 points ago

                                          You should have included the part of the scene where he looks at every wall and at the ceiling. (There was one, wasn't there? I'm not sure if I'm thinking of the right movie)

                                          [–]Copywright 1 point2 points ago

                                          Well, put on your overalls, red hat, and fake mustache, soldier. And do your doodie.

                                          [–]lordlicorice 1 point2 points ago

                                          Did anyone else think he was The Rock at first?

                                          [–]xRags 1 point2 points ago

                                          Instantly thought of aziz ansari's standup. Shit. Everywhere.

                                          [–]illyni 1 point2 points ago

                                          Have you ever had to clean up a top deck?

                                          [–]XxXNightstalkerX 1 point2 points ago

                                          Bob Saget

                                          [–]Mybrainmelts 1 point2 points ago

                                          Came for the bob Saget gif, left disappointed.

                                          [–]First_thing 1 point2 points ago

                                          1: needs the full clip
                                          2: needs the music

                                          [–]Obligatory_Quote 1 point2 points ago

                                          As a tile guy, also someone who doesn't know plumbing and removed a shower Bonnet while the pressure was still on, causing it to flood the bathroom, this was my Reaction

                                          [–]DankasaurusRX 1 point2 points ago

                                          Went on vacation and blew up the toilet in the hotel room.... This was the exact face of the sweet front desk lady when she showed up with the plunger to take care of the problem. I'm so ashamed.

                                          [–]flissss 1 point2 points ago

                                          As a human being, I can't imagine fucking up a toilet, or creating a mess anywhere, and just leaving it for the next person. I've seen people, more than a few times, drop drinks/food in a public place and just stand there or leave while workers scramble to clean the place up. Absolutely no fucking class.

                                          /rant

                                          [–]Theemuts 1 point2 points ago

                                          A few weeks ago, on a sunday night, we had a huge block in our toilet, shit came dripping down the walls of our downstairs neighbours.

                                          To every plumber on reddit: you are the unsung heroes of the world

                                          [–]Devinm84 1 point2 points ago

                                          I always manage to look at these posts while actively using the toilet.

                                          [–]ponk_2 1 point2 points ago

                                          Haha my a plumber just had to visit my house this morning for this reason. I am sure he had to do that.

                                          [–]alecyo12 1 point2 points ago

                                          This is one of those guilty pleasure movies

                                          [–]Kevesvt 1 point2 points ago

                                          Then when you see the mess you go : http://i.imgur.com/dzjdF.gif

                                          [–]Kornephoros 1 point2 points ago

                                          http://i.imgur.com/5xsNw.gif

                                          [–]ArchScabby 0 points1 point ago

                                          I know that feel bro. I have to do the cleanup after you guys fix the toilet.

                                          [–]Jhagrefbak 0 points1 point ago

                                          This is my reaction to most Eddie Murphy movies.

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