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What I learned from 9th and 10th Grade Global Class (imgur.com)

submitted ago by babytheo

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[–]VredeJohn 34 points35 points ago

Unless you are... wait for it... the mongols!

[–]VainRobot 9 points10 points ago

Conveniently for them Russia was a collection of squabbling principalities at the time.

[–]Gen_McMuster 15 points16 points ago

they also didn't have vodka during this time period. Which severely reduced their combat effectiveness

[–]d21nt_ban_me_again 3 points4 points ago

Like it would have made a fucking difference. The mongols kicked everyone in the mouth. Also, without the mongols, the russian empire would not exist. The mongols were also responsible for the spread of islam through much of central asia. Yeah they fucked up a lot of shit.

[–]VainRobot -1 points0 points ago

I don't really think that spreading Islam counts as 'fucking up shit'. Seems more of a neutral point to me.

[–]d21nt_ban_me_again 0 points1 point ago

spreading islam was the worst thing about the mongol empire.

[–]VainRobot 6 points7 points ago

I'd take a medieval Muslim over a medieval Christian.

[–]thefran -3 points-2 points ago

Mongols were savages compared to medieval Christians.

[–]LincPwln 1 point2 points ago

Genghis Khan left cities that surrendered without a fight completely untouched, eliminated taxes on the poor and gave his citizens complete religious freedom. He killed more people than any Christian, but that was just because he didn't suck at war, and his troops didn't alienate the population of any city they got within 500km of.

[–]thefran 0 points1 point ago

Genghis Khan left cities that surrendered without a fight completely untouched

Amusing point of view: in reality mongols were not to be trusted about this.

Let's remember what he did to the cities that did not surrender, huh? Kozelsk, the "evil city". Torzhok. Not even children were spared.

[–]VredeJohn 0 points1 point ago

Radical Islam is mostly present in the Middle East (you know, where it started) while the Muslims in most of Asia are more laid back. Furthermore the Mongols were not actually Muslims, forcefully converting people, but rather facilitated the trade between the Muslim merchants in the Middle East and the rest of Asia, by making the roads safe. If you wanted to trade with Muslim merchants it just made sense to convert ("oh, you're a Muslim too? Praise God"), and thus a lot of people in Asia are now Muslim in the same way many Europeans are Christian; In the laid back, not at all fundamental, way of convenience.

[–]LincPwln 1 point2 points ago

Back then, the Arab world was a center of enlightenment and civilization; Europeans only caught up with the American and French revolutions. You could build a Christian church, Jewish temple or Pagan whatever and, while you wouldn't be holding public office, you wouldn't get your eyes gouged out or anything either. Science was far further ahead, literacy was wide spread, war crimes were rare and life was about as tolerable as you could hope for.

Mongols, during their expansionist era, mostly believed in traditional, Mongol folk-religion.

[–]d21nt_ban_me_again 0 points1 point ago

Back then, the Arab world was a center of enlightenment and civilization

No it was not. Back then there were a few centers of enlightenment and civilization. Namely china, india ( from whom the arabs took a lot of knowledge ) and western civilization.

Europeans only caught up with the American and French revolutions.

Europeans surpassed everyone during the renaissance. Hundreds of years before the american revolution.

[–]tuseau -1 points0 points ago

well, no, they got asses kicked by the Teutonic Knights.

[–]d21nt_ban_me_again 0 points1 point ago

The mongols raped the teutonic knights. It's rather well understood historical fact.

[–]spitfire451 6 points7 points ago

gaaaah! beat me to it!

[–]Ramanag 7 points8 points ago

For future use

[–]thisissam 3 points4 points ago

Damn Mongolians!

[–]thefran 0 points1 point ago

There was no "Russia". There was a bunch of nobles in their mini-countries, most at war with each other. The Golden Horde forced the Russia to consolidate, which eventually made them eat a full-blown counterattack.

That, and even Mongols couldn't conquer the entirety of Russia.

Another good point: Russians' invasions are mostly laughable, but they are incredibly at defensive conflicts and counterattacks.

[–]VredeJohn 0 points1 point ago

I know. I was just referencing this show :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yocja_N5s1I&feature=plcp

[–]MedicalJargon-itis 16 points17 points ago

1) Don't try to invade Russia

2) Never get involved in a land war in Asia

3) Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line

[–]sincerely_me 2 points3 points ago

Stop rhyming, and I mean it!

[–]trimeta 2 points3 points ago

Anybody want a peanut?

[–]sincerely_me 0 points1 point ago

Man, I can't believe I messed up the quote. Well done, regardless.

[–]Kinky_Pinky 11 points12 points ago

Unless you are the mongols Edit: how did I not see that comment..

[–]Dabuscus214 4 points5 points ago

upvote for honesty

[–]seaofstars 20 points21 points ago

My 10th grade history teacher's Three Most Important Rules of World History were:

1) History is written by the winners.

2) Don't try to invade Russia.

3) Don't try to invade Russia.

Ah, nostalgia...

[–]TheCourageWolf 11 points12 points ago

Hey guys, I've got an idea. Why not invade Russia?

[–]ElBenito 2 points3 points ago

Relevant username, but don't even fucking THINK about it.

[–]kikster199 7 points8 points ago

That was just basic survival

  1. Do not invade Russia.

[–]CoyoteStark 16 points17 points ago

Don't forget Afghanistan. They are all time champs.

[–]Corningstone 1 point2 points ago

the destroyer of empires

[–]LeZarathustra 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, they're real sports.

[–]410ham 15 points16 points ago

Finland raped Russia new rule DON'T invade finland

[–]memers 4 points5 points ago

To be fair, Finland had The White Death on their side.

[–]LieutenantShineySide 3 points4 points ago

Finland had weather on their side though.

[–]410ham 12 points13 points ago

so did/does Russia.

[–]LieutenantShineySide 1 point2 points ago

Touche

[–]redhammer11 0 points1 point ago

Also they hadn't just killed all of their own ranking officers

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]410ham 1 point2 points ago

wut... really, i demand proof.

[–]Blacklion95 1 point2 points ago

It's Russia. They have 8 Finlands, 3 Germanys, and at least a full Britain in reserve. They always have reserves. They didn't call it the red tide for nothing.

[–]thefran 0 points1 point ago

Finland used to be a part of the Russian empire.

[–]TunaThePanda 3 points4 points ago

Eddie Izzard says it best http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3484764188621153939

[–]polaris210 3 points4 points ago

ЧΘЦ ДЯЄ ИЄVДЯ ЄVДЯ ДLLΘWЄD TΘ FЦCК ШITH THЄ MΘTHЄRLДИD

[–]VanDoodah 8 points9 points ago

Hitler never played Risk when he was a kid.

[–]tristanjones 4 points5 points ago

Thank you. Came looking for an Eddie Izzard reference and was sad to see it so low.

Oh it's the same idea it's the same idea.

[–]TheYeIIowDucK 2 points3 points ago

I like it how the snow in the background is actually relevant to the subject of the meme.

[–]kllr 5 points6 points ago

Don't invade russia in the winter

[–]ZXfrigginC 2 points3 points ago

Best time to invade Russia: right after winter.

Best time to withdraw: at start of winter.

[–]Nautilus23 2 points3 points ago

Rocky took on Russia in Russia, during the Winter, by himself, and won in Rocky IV.

[–]grat3fulredd 0 points1 point ago

General Mud, Gen. Cold, and Gen. Winter never lose.

[–]ThatOneguy14 0 points1 point ago

Or Poland! Must not forget about the successful Polish Commonwealth invasion!

[–]plainsnailing 0 points1 point ago

Field Marshal Monty said this before it was cool

[–]ElBenito 0 points1 point ago

I thought it was just midgets. Hitler, Napoleon, coincidence? I THINK NOT!

[–]no0 0 points1 point ago

Russia tried to conquer East Asia but Japan won the Russo-Japanese War

[–]RollingSkittles 0 points1 point ago

If you try to repost a meme, you're going to have a bad time

[–]worlddictator85 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, I always took Australia, then moved on into Africa. Pretty easy pickings from then on.

[–]BackNipples 0 points1 point ago

it's just too damn big, no one army can handle a country that size, you would need a coalition

[–]ultimatomato 0 points1 point ago

Too true. The one thing I remember from Mrs Sarager's World History is that no one ever defeats the harsh Russian winter.

[–]kamikazewhovian 0 points1 point ago

If russia invades sweden, theyre gonna have a bad time...

[–]gamemasterty 0 points1 point ago

Napoleon and Hitler got fucked over by Russia

[–]Heroshade 0 points1 point ago

Don't know what you're talking about, I just conquered them in Total War and in With Fire and Sword.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

What the fuck is "global class"?

[–]Dabuscus214 0 points1 point ago

I have (and just completed) world studies, in 9th and 10th grade, and we learned about how stupid it is to invade russia

[–]vi_rus 0 points1 point ago

Made a similar one a while ago... One Does Not Simply.. Invade Russia

[–]Grains_of_Rye -2 points-1 points ago

In winter

[–]mvpnick11 -5 points-4 points ago

I kinda wish reedit had an age limit

[–]ZXfrigginC 4 points5 points ago

Click this checkbox to lie to us that you are at least 13.

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