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1465
1466

... Well hello there. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by qnnplmr

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[–]LxB 220 points221 points ago

polar bears are one of the few animals that will actively hunt humans as a food source. he will eat your face, and the rest of you too.

[–]moby323 54 points55 points ago

This is their main hunting strategy.

[–]densets 11 points12 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/qdsYu.jpg

[–]sanadia 22 points23 points ago

along with "omg I'm drowning cause of humans, help :( Idk how to swim I am a bear"

[–]Manwithabeverage 16 points17 points ago

Stands on overly tiny piece of ice for effect

[–]AustinTreeLover 6 points7 points ago

I thought their strategy was to convince people they want a kiss and then bite their heads off.

[–]butt_ruckers 3 points4 points ago

one paw swipe and bye bye head.

[–]imafunghi 87 points88 points ago

I refuse to believe that. I choose to believe that they protect us from seals. Fucking seals.

[–]palubalis 77 points78 points ago

Delicious fucking seals. Bacon of the sea.

[–]imafunghi 15 points16 points ago

haha bacon of the sea? where did you get that from?

[–]deij 18 points19 points ago

If Dugongs are the cow of the sea, then seals must be the bacon.

[–]Bl00DISH 9 points10 points ago

Also, Narwhals are the yedi of the sea.

[–]SpasticSpoon 13 points14 points ago

They stop Cthulu eating ye

[–]Dustin- 2 points3 points ago

Yedi

What?

[–]djinn71 -1 points0 points ago

Unicorns.

FTFY

[–]SamuraiPizzaCats 0 points1 point ago

I'm pretty sure that seals are really just dog mermaids.

[–]Spooooooooooooon 1 point2 points ago

From the sea... ಠ_ಠ

[–]ddcinjapan 2 points3 points ago

A seal with a bow-tie?!

[–]GundamWang 0 points1 point ago

It's too bad Osama didn't keep a few of them around then.

[–]imafunghi 1 point2 points ago

Bears wouldn't resort to helping cowardly terrorists!

[–]raffletime 0 points1 point ago

Do we really need something to protect us from fucking seals? Just keep it in your pants.

[–]randomgoat 15 points16 points ago

Buzz killington over here.

Sheesh.

[–]HeyYouYoureAwesome 1 point2 points ago

Well at least he'll look adorable beforehand.

[–]LettersFromTheSky 1 point2 points ago

Exactly my thoughts. Here is the next picture

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

What are the other animals that do this? All I can think of is sharks.

[–]murder1 11 points12 points ago

Sharks don't use humans as a food source. They will attack a human if they mistake it for a sea lion or seal or something else that they actually eat.

[–]FalconOne 5 points6 points ago

See I've always questioned this explanation. How do they know that a shark "mistook a human for a sea lion or seal"? did somebody interview the shark later and the shark said "Oh, snap, I wondered why dinner tasted funny, humans always give me an upset stomach, i had the shits for days"

[–]cutrateslashjob 4 points5 points ago

Tiger sharks and oceanic white tips are known man eaters. Most others are indifferent.

[–]mrburnswhenipee 2 points3 points ago

People taste like chicken-of-the-Sea.

[–]Scoops_Haagendazs 4 points5 points ago

IIRC a lot of the sharks that attack people never end up eating the people. They take a few chunks out of you but once their hunting hormones calm down they go "wait, wtf is this disgusting shit, this ain't no seal" and just fuck off. Also, people often hear that sharks can smell a drop of blood in a million gallons of water, what isn't mentioned is that most sharks don't find human blood appealing. They may smell your oozing wounds in a million gallons of water but they, quite frankly, don't much care for it.

[–]easypeasy9 0 points1 point ago

This is comforting to know.

[–]gimpwiz 2 points3 points ago

What other people said, and also because humans are full of bones instead of delicious blubber and flesh. It's like the difference between eating your normal steak, and cow leg. Lots of work and not much reward in the latter to obtain the meat.

[–]RModule 0 points1 point ago

I was about to comment exactly the same. And just to give it a reference: http://adventure.howstuffworks.com/shark-attack.htm.

[–]experts_never_lie 1 point2 points ago

If you go swimming in False Bay, near Cape Town, where white sharks are known to swim up under seals so fast that they breach, and one does it to you, I think it's safe to say that you were mistaken for a seal.

If you mimic the appearance and behavior of their prey and they attack, they're probably confused. If they alter their behavior to seek out humans, then they're actively hunting humans as a food source.

[–]3206 1 point2 points ago

I think it's safe to say that you were mistaken for a seal.

Why doesn't it make sense that the shark thought you were also food?

[–]experts_never_lie 1 point2 points ago

If you dress up as a gazelle and hang out in the savannah, I'm not blaming the lions for what happens next either.

There's a big difference between "It's trying to kill us!" and "If I pretend to be its prey, it might hurt me!".

[–]txcapricorn 0 points1 point ago

I don't remember where I read it, but I read somewhere that sharks don't like the way we taste - sharks will bite then let go. Could be a load of bullshit, but it would make sense. I think humans taste like ass too.

[–]3206 1 point2 points ago

How many humans are being eaten by polar bears each year such that humans are considered a food source?

[–]murder1 0 points1 point ago

I really don't know, but you can't deny that the humans up north look like fluffy marshmallows due to their coats!

[–]LxB 1 point2 points ago

I'm doing some webcrawling, and it seems that the only animal that still does this is the polar bear.

[–]Powerfury -1 points0 points ago

TIL: Polar Bears take bath salts

[–]MacFatty -2 points-1 points ago

What if the prey suddenly turn up with massive balls of steel?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]AMeanCow 35 points36 points ago

Ladies and gentlemen, the South.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]SirFappleton 6 points7 points ago

Yeah AMeanCow, don't be racist. What a fucking Jew that guy was, amirite?

[–]redditorforthemoment 260 points261 points ago

"Sir, if I could have just a few moments of your time I'd like to talk to you about the lovely products the Coca-Cola company offers."

[–]laurieisastar 1 point2 points ago

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

[–]Purdy14 -1 points0 points ago

"I hear they go down well with some Fox's mints."

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]sanadia 6 points7 points ago

so hardcore man.

[–]spaceghost_one 60 points61 points ago

What a fantastic way to lose your face.

[–]You_Fucking_Idiots 53 points54 points ago

News Update: The bear who ate off a man's face earlier today was not on bath salts.

[–]icalledshotgun 6 points7 points ago

The man who ate off a bear's face

FTFY

[–]Cleopas_Hadishi -2 points-1 points ago

All of my comments get posted way too quickly. Are we all just part of the same Internet brain?

[–]You_Fucking_Idiots 3 points4 points ago

It's the implants the CIA put into us at birth--the original internet.

[–]sweetgreggo 46 points47 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/g1XgF.jpg

[–]sextangles 23 points24 points ago

Good lord it looks a lot more vicious horizontal. What a monster

[–]perverse_imp 16 points17 points ago

Dat longneck.

[–]RobotLido 2 points3 points ago

I've made a huge mistake. I've turned the world sideways.

[–]mattc286 19 points20 points ago

Reminds me of this.

[–]fecklessness 12 points13 points ago

CHOMP

[–]Preowned 2 points3 points ago

Nom nom nom, om nom

[–]relevantusername- 4 points5 points ago

Have to admit, I was scared clicking that.

[–]Preowned 0 points1 point ago

Hmm why?

[–]relevantusername- 1 point2 points ago

blood, gore, polar bears eating people etc.

[–]Preowned 0 points1 point ago

Ah, o/c

[–]kleptobismol 19 points20 points ago

future Darwin award winner.

[–]NotaMethAddict 11 points12 points ago

Awww, I bet he'd maul my face so cutely!

[–]AnnOminous 7 points8 points ago

World's largest land carnivore. That's just stupid beyond words.

Take a look at the expression on the face of the local guide (who knows something about bears) and you know what happened to Mr. Get-Back-To-Nature.

http://beruangrebus.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/ours-polaire-bus.jpg

Here is the last image from his head mounted camera. http://img94.imageshack.us/img94/5776/hayt.jpg

A friend always went on the land with both a large gun and dogs. The dogs were bear deterrent and would buy some time so that she could get the gun and aim it properly.

[–]Inhospitable_Blanket 6 points7 points ago

Must resist...urge to pet.

[–]larwk 1 point2 points ago

I'd reach a hand out and see what it did. It looks more curious than threatening. I bet I could get away with petting it a lil, especially if it was fed. If not, oh well. I'd go down as an awesome statistic.

[–]razvyazka 3 points4 points ago

I have long since maintained that we need to get on domesticating bears. Because bears are fucking awesome, and I would like to live in a world where I can safely have one as a pet. And/or ride it to work.

[–]Black_Tome 4 points5 points ago

Polar bears actively hunt humans (not mistake them for seals like those dumb sharks). That's probably not a good idea.

[–]sextangles 2 points3 points ago

Dude look at it sideways. http://i.imgur.com/g1XgF.jpg Thing is a killing machine, mark my words.

[–]Inhospitable_Blanket 1 point2 points ago

Still, look how far it's extending it's neck. It looks like it wants to eat the guy.

And All the videos of Cute polar bears chasing dudes without looking ferocious. >.>

[–]parallel_jay 8 points9 points ago

Hello breakfast

[–]ElTimablo 7 points8 points ago

Good thing that man has such colossal steel balls with which to protect himself.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]samisachickYEAH 2 points3 points ago

And then the polar bear ate his face. The police assume that the bear was on bath salts.

[–]drunken1 6 points7 points ago

Balls the size of icebergs.

[–]Badong11 20 points21 points ago

Brain the size of regular balls.

[–]barrelotomato 0 points1 point ago

Probably can sink titanic with his balls.

[–]cheeeeeese -1 points0 points ago

I may be missing some sort of social queue, but i highly doubt his balls could sink titanic.

[–]Krumpetify 2 points3 points ago

I think you mean cue, not queue.

[–]iwishiwereyou 5 points6 points ago

A terrorist and a polar bear. This is a dangerous meeting...

[–]haiku_robot 9 points10 points ago

A terrorist and 
a polar bear. This is a 
dangerous meeting...

[–]iwishiwereyou 5 points6 points ago

Yay! I feel special!

[–]oneyeartrip 8 points9 points ago

Dat neck!

[–]Dokbokki 2 points3 points ago

I hope that polar bear is not high on bath salts.

[–]moby323 2 points3 points ago

Relevant

[–]PoopsMallard 2 points3 points ago

I can honestly say I would be too terrified to do this myself. Polar bears are killing machines.

And here's one being dissected by scientists.

[–]gentlemandinosaur 0 points1 point ago

Thanks. I watched the entire thing. Super interesting.

[–]nefhar 0 points1 point ago

Amazing footage. It was sad to see the dead bears. Very ethical of the scientists to only use the bear carcasses that the hunters killed. Amazing that all of the bear carcass was put to use by the community -- skin, meat, fat. It was not a trophy kill.

[–]snwbrdngpoo 2 points3 points ago

"Psst.... Do you have any apples?"

[–]Lynich 2 points3 points ago

Relevant

[–]mrjdblack80 2 points3 points ago

Question for OP - Is this in or near Churchill, Manitoba? I ask the question because I work for the company in Colorado that manufactured these tundra buggies and have never seen them in action. Cool picture!

[–]Trapped_in_Reddit 7 points8 points ago

nowkiss.jpg

[–]RedFollower 1 point2 points ago

That is a long neck. Starting to thing Polar bears are actually fluffy dinosaurs.

[–]Discoamazing 1 point2 points ago

That looks dangerous.

[–]mechalex 1 point2 points ago

I predict rotating that image 90° anti-clockwise would make it 7 x more frightening.

[–]Leezus 2 points3 points ago

And 100 x more frightening if you rotated it clockwise.

[–]bigoh 1 point2 points ago

Hello dummy

[–]Berne9 1 point2 points ago

"Come a little closer so I can rip your face off"

[–]PalpableAtom 1 point2 points ago

Well, that head won't be attached to anything for much longer.

[–]Asassinsneed 1 point2 points ago

If I were you, I'd slap it right across the face and go back inside. It works.

[–]cosworth99 1 point2 points ago

No puns, no witty reply. I just have to say that I'm always impressed at other animals' ability to distinguish another animal and interact with them it what appears to be a social setting, curiosity if you will. Even when wearing a full ski mask and glasses that hides any recognisable features.

[–]laudalelemera 1 point2 points ago

This bear is very clever. I can see that, Can you?

[–]Peabush 1 point2 points ago

http://cache.jalopnik.com/assets/images/12/2009/02/Polar-Bear-Bus.jpg relevant

[–]silenti 1 point2 points ago

His whole head is a neck.

[–]Moofus84 1 point2 points ago

We're all out of coke, go away.

[–]Micr0waveMan 1 point2 points ago

Hello Food.

[–]jaotter 11 points12 points ago

that's a beary dangerous situation!

[–]qnnplmr[S] 10 points11 points ago

It could turn grizzly quite quickly.

[–]RobotLido 8 points9 points ago

False. That is a polar bear. They are incapable of turning into grizzly bears.

[–]red97 6 points7 points ago

False. Polar bears are just SSJ1 grizzly bears.

[–]waltonsimons 1 point2 points ago

That's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]RobotLido 3 points4 points ago

Your understanding of evolution is disturbing. It's not like a Charizard can turn back into a Charmeleon.

[–]memegsta -1 points0 points ago

Looks like a rawrin good time.

[–]I_Fellate_Baby_Cocks -5 points-4 points ago

Oh man, I cannot bear another pun thread.

[–]qnnplmr[S] 13 points14 points ago

I just noticed your username and am now disturbed.

[–]pantadon -4 points-3 points ago

Maybe his username should be youthenized.

[–]mrburnswhenipee -1 points0 points ago

In my heart I want to down vote you for drawing attention to IT!

[–]volcano420 -5 points-4 points ago

Perhaps he's a mohel?

[–]miked4o7 -3 points-2 points ago

I was thinking just the polar opposite.

[–]hillaryyy 0 points1 point ago

the angel from my nightmare

[–]ReeferRage 1 point2 points ago

but seriously man your face coulda been fucked. they eat meat unlike many other bears

[–]oblivision 2 points3 points ago

Assuming this is a picture of OP... So cute

[–]iwishiwereyou 2 points3 points ago

I prefer the more common vegan bears that wear mittens.

[–]Corn_Pops 1 point2 points ago

Ha. That's my friend in the picture. He is a wildlife photographer and took this a couple years ago.

[–]pingplong 1 point2 points ago

Meanwhile 100 people died by slipping in the shower...

[–]Rangourthaman_ 0 points1 point ago

Amateur ninja vs. Polar bear.

[–]iAmericA45 0 points1 point ago

Holy christ on a bike, it's a Stretchbear.

[–]Ranunculus_Auricomus 0 points1 point ago

This face is going to be grabbed in 3... 2... 1...

[–]kegman83 0 points1 point ago

Human help get apples.

[–]imabigsofty 0 points1 point ago

Is this going to turn into another face eating story?

[–]pnpbios 0 points1 point ago

Maybe Black Ops II will have a polar bear kill streak?

[–]c00per 0 points1 point ago

ummm...if you value your head you shouldn't do that. Just and FYI

[–]MadCap1987 0 points1 point ago

"Why hello there Mr Polar Bear, aren't you just the cutest li... OH GOD HE'S EATING ME!... HE'S EATING MEEEEEEEE! RAGHWRR ragh raghackackack brwuuuuuuuur blurble blurple blurp.

[–]adzug 0 points1 point ago

yes they eat us you know.

[–]wearepog 0 points1 point ago

All fun and games till he jumps and swipes your head off.

[–]ligerhunter 0 points1 point ago

Watch out bear, that man might eat your face. Humans are all about that stuff nowadays.

[–]Boomfish -4 points-3 points ago

That is an extremely stupid person. Also DVs to all the puns.

[–]Leezus 1 point2 points ago

Bring your downvotes. We can bear it.

[–]DrCockanballs -1 points0 points ago

Now kiss

[–]MarkDLincoln -1 points0 points ago

Feed the Bear.

Improve the human genome.

[–]WilliamHTaft -1 points0 points ago

http://karmadecay.com/i.imgur.com/6c0rX.jpg

[–]Emmanuell89 -3 points-2 points ago

this is actually Photoshoped, can't seem to find the post but it is .

[–]Corn_Pops 7 points8 points ago

It's real. It's my friend Tristan Bayer who is a wildlife photographer. http://m.wired.com/rawfile/2010/10/readers-arctic-photos/

[–]zen_monkey -1 points0 points ago

I believe you. I am sure there are people stupid enough to pose with a wild polar bear like that, but I think if they're that stupid they've already died from something else before the trip.

[–]Henital_Gerpies 0 points1 point ago

As well as who took the photo.

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