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all 57 comments

[–]Bittergreens 96 points97 points ago

my new explanation for everything- that's how benni roll

[–]sinfulcolors 19 points20 points ago

It does have a nice ring to it.

[–]GoodGuyAnusDestroyer 21 points22 points ago

Benni don't give a fuck.

[–]Lottanubs 8 points9 points ago

Benni-Badger don't care. Benni-Badger don't give a shit.

[–]enhancin 0 points1 point ago

I was at a 24/7 mexican fast food place here in town on my 21st birthday and there were some guys in the next booth over talking about some guy named Chad. They were apparently mad at him for something which I know nothing of and one of them said "If Chad was a 16 year old girl I'd ground him for a month." To which I turned around and went "CHAD DON'T GIVE A FUCK!" and then returned to eating.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Fapologist 3 points4 points ago

HOW DARE YOU. HE'S A NICE MAN!

[–]kindabiglie 56 points57 points ago

My homies call me glitterdick.

[–]SourD420 36 points37 points ago

most definitely this guy -> http://textsfrombennett.tumblr.com/

[–]retrogreq 8 points9 points ago

Holy shit. I just about died laughing from this one.

[–]shhximxhiding 2 points3 points ago

Love that shit, wonder how much you gotta buy to get some baseball cards.

[–]andrzejellis 0 points1 point ago

Guessing a quarter or more. How you gonna fit a baseball card in those small-ass dub sacks?

[–]LloydBentsen 1 point2 points ago

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Holy fuck, you might be right. I've always wanted to see his picture.

[–]beeper917 12 points13 points ago

[–]IJudgePeopleHarshly 12 points13 points ago

FAKE. I now know how to spot them. Pixelated images, perfect black-boxes over last names, and always 'X' hours ago. Also, these fakes have no 'like' link in the sub-comments.

See this, that I made: The exact OP quote

The site: Create Facebook Conversation

[–]JustCheckinMyPhone 1 point2 points ago

Whoa! But shh... keep it quiet, I'm gonna use this.

[–]thunderling 1 point2 points ago

To be fair, "liking" the sub-comments was only a semi-recent addition to facebook, and this screenshot (or fake screenshot) was made at least five years ago.

[–]RedSnt 2 points3 points ago

Probably wouldn't have happened had he not been circumcised. Well. I don't know. I'm no wank expert.

[–]KonigderWasserpfeife 1 point2 points ago

You're no wank expert.

Right. Me neither. Shhhhh.

[–]readyready 4 points5 points ago

The sparkle cooch...does if have a glitter clit also?

[–]MegaFuckerSupreme 34 points35 points ago

You mean a glittoris?

[–]SolarShores 1 point2 points ago

[–]agobayer 2 points3 points ago

i wish i was friends with people like that

[–]brownpaperful 0 points1 point ago

i know. i think my fb life would be more interesting.

[–]fastestguninthewest 1 point2 points ago

"but u no thats how benni roll." is the best catchphrase I've ever heard.

[–]ElLuchador 1 point2 points ago

haha ahh, that is how benni roll!

[–]timecronus 0 points1 point ago

does everyone talk like this?

[–]i_am_indeed_human 0 points1 point ago

the rare sparkle cooch..

[–]BobLeBuilDerp 0 points1 point ago

Real G's update they Facebook relationship status, nahmean?

[–]Biggie39 0 points1 point ago

I once knew a guy that said that he had once taken out a package of pickle relish and started strokin it with that,....to break up an akward situation.

[–]QuillJS 0 points1 point ago

I used to have a girl with a sparkling crotch, but I had to break things off with Robert.

[–]leviirish 0 points1 point ago

This guy sounds cool!

[–]SPAZZEH 0 points1 point ago

I think he was trying to imitate Edward Cullen

[–]Horny_Troll -1 points0 points ago

nigger talk ugh

[–]jdwolfe 0 points1 point ago

"Sparkle cooch" makes me lose my shit every time.

[–]dactyif 3 points4 points ago

Vajazzle.

[–]pjeff61 0 points1 point ago

Glitter lotion - Destroying relationships one sparkle at a time.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Lmao who jacks of with there gf's glitter lotion? Embarrassing!

[–]Lunapsyche -1 points0 points ago

Your grammar. It pains me.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

Do forgive me. You see here on the internet I'm running horrendously low on fucks to share with you :(

[–]Lunapsyche 1 point2 points ago

i had to upvote you because that made me giggle. -taps hat to you-

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

:)

[–]Lunapsyche 1 point2 points ago

simple pleasures, no?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Quite pleasurable !

[–]skizfrenik_syco 0 points1 point ago

maybe he's gay and had sex with someone from twilight?

[–]omgoffensiveguy -2 points-1 points ago

Maybe she got sick of nigger dick and wanted something smaller?

[–]rakust -3 points-2 points ago

black people.jpg

[–]DerelictDiety -1 points0 points ago

So, this is where the little girl got Sparkling Wiggles.... That makes sense.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

It's like textswithbennet or something.

[–]slothenstein -1 points0 points ago

Gotta admire his optimism.

[–]TrapMo -1 points0 points ago

sparkle cooch

[–]raphtze -1 points0 points ago

that's just too fuckin' funny

[–]azulhombre -1 points0 points ago

Don't we all know how benni roll.

[–]shhximxhiding -1 points0 points ago

Not a single fuck was given, cause that how benni roll.

[–]rodtang -1 points0 points ago

This is a repost from a couple months back.

Most of the stuff you post are reposts...

[–]papa_bear_uk -1 points0 points ago

Niggaz be trippin yo.

Fucking idiots.