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381

Pokemon - Christian Version - Imgur (imgur.com)

submitted ago by doyouliekmudkipz

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[–]averyisavillian 44 points45 points ago

Living with Giratina sounds badass

[–]hydra877 4 points5 points ago

Ironically, that's where everyone go after they die on the Pokémon world.

[–]Smuglord 2 points3 points ago

I'd do it. I love Giratina.

[–]jro893 28 points29 points ago

It sure beats Puritan Version

[–]bioluhgy 15 points16 points ago

I think I'm gonna do the Alternate Protestant version.

[–]Letumstrike 11 points12 points ago

breeding shinies just got a whole new level of difficult.

[–]Kristastic 24 points25 points ago

C'mon guys, lighten up. This is a joke, and personally, as a Christian, I find it to be a funny joke at that!

[–]hydra877 5 points6 points ago

If this even happened on Pokémon world, I'd still show a finger to the "priest".

[–]waspsmacker 8 points9 points ago

Not before the priest shows you a finger

[–]hydra877 1 point2 points ago

Then I'd call my Seviper and Serperior to have a "nice" talk with him.

[–]Wilhelm_III 12 points13 points ago

At first: that's kind of offensive… Two seconds later: screw it, that's funny.

[–]AgricolaeAcres 12 points13 points ago

I'm fine with it as long as people realize that most Christians don't actually believe in the stereotypical stuff

[–]Bookshelfstud 5 points6 points ago

Yeah, that's the only problem here: it's funny and all, but if people think that that is verbatim what all Christians believe, then we have a problem.

[–]mantisman 3 points4 points ago

Last time I checked, it's impossible to catch a serperior anyway

[–]dbcification 3 points4 points ago

Because this hasn't been posted twenty times already.

[–]gordito93 13 points14 points ago

I call it the Rick Santorum challenge.

[–]Pelleas 7 points8 points ago

So you're going to make all your Pokemon wear clothes? They're naked, which technically means it's porn.

[–]Midnightatnevada 1 point2 points ago

Nudity doesn't automatically make something porn, if it did then Air Bud is a nasty ass porno and it shouldn't be shown on Disney channel.

[–]gordito93 1 point2 points ago

And that's how I now choose to think of it.

[–]Fishygobyebye 2 points3 points ago

I'll take that as a challenge.

[–]hydra877 3 points4 points ago

...No. I'd better pray to Arceus.

[–]waterdrop66 3 points4 points ago

I'm a Christian, and I find this very offensive.

But it's still funny as fuck.

[–]courier6ix 2 points3 points ago

Good Guy Christian.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]akebeth 7 points8 points ago

Just because it is an exaggerated joke on Christianity (Catholicism in particular, though my favorite bit was the Protestant jab :P) doesn't mean it's /r/atheism...

When I was little my neighbor had to cut his psychic cards in half because his parents thought they were some vile thing. My little cousin who I hadn't seen in a while, just yesterday, claimed Pokémon was evil because it apparently is "witchcraft". He's nine and his mind is already warped by the religious fanatics in my family.

Pokémon has always had to fight a battle against the super religious conservatism here in the US and I think it is not out of place to post a joke about it once in a while.

[–]Lasercat77 2 points3 points ago

I hope you saved your cousin from the insanity

[–]akebeth 0 points1 point ago

I'm working on it. It's hard to explain to a nine year old why their parents aren't always right. Especially if I ever want to see him again. :/

I'm a little afraid that I won't be seeing him again. Because he asked if I "believed in Jesus" and after dancing around his question for nearly twenty minutes I finally had to answer him.

[–]jordan7797 0 points1 point ago

..........well fuck

[–]akebeth 0 points1 point ago

I know. :(

[–]jordan7797 -1 points0 points ago

Lol im atheist too. Nothing to feel bad about

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]akebeth 0 points1 point ago

I'm confused on how that is relevant - the image isn't generalizing whites or Americans, or the combination of the two. Nor does my comment suggest any sort of race, as this view of Pokémon is also held by a lot of black southern baptists...

Maybe I'm misunderstanding you? Are you saying that if the generalization was poking fun at me then I would be offended? I don't believe so. If you made an image of an "American version" featuring Snorlax to represent the obesity problems here I doubt I would be offended, even though I am overweight.

[–]zobbas -4 points-3 points ago

All the jizz from that circlejerk has to go somewhere

[–]DutchHardstyle 14 points15 points ago

Yeah, no. It doesn't seem like the OP has enough knowledge of basic Christianity to make this.

[–]salgat 31 points32 points ago

It's just an exaggerated joke based on stereotypes.

[–]Tastingo 4 points5 points ago

NO FUN ALLOWED

[–]JangSaverem 4 points5 points ago

Thats because OP didnt make it as its been reposted Multiple times

[–]Xavs42 9 points10 points ago

Some of em are quite right (2, 5, 7, 8, 9) but the rest of em seem to be based on Conservative Christian morality systems from the United States.

To be fair, that's a manipulated picture of the Pope (head of the Roman Catholic Church), who actually agrees with evolution/accepts it (1 and 6 are out then).

Additionally, the whole "must not share daycare center" ~ "shall not lie together" etc.

[–]dbcification 12 points13 points ago

Lol... They're all extremely over-exaggerated. None of them are "quite right".

[–]Xavs42 2 points3 points ago

On using Dark types or Psychic types, that's roughly equal to "Though shalt not suffer a witch to live". The one about the other legendaries being idols is spot on too: Exodus 20:5 You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I, the Lord, your God, am a jealous God, responding to the transgression of fathers by dealing with children to the third and fourth generations of those who reject me. Deuteronomy 6:15 for the LORD your God, who is among you, is a jealous God and his anger will burn against you, and he will destroy you from the face of the land.

I think that kind of proves my point. They might be over exaggerated in that "Most modern Chrisitians would never act like that", but that's not true, because your viewpoint represents probably more centrist, tolerant ones. The Bible has tons of stuff that really supports most of these numbers with the exception of ridiculous and purely cultural ones (3, 4).

[–]dbcification 2 points3 points ago

The entirety of Hebrew law applies to Jews following said laws. They're there because Christianity is deeply rooted in that culture. Christians have a different set of laws, which aren't laws so much as love everyone and don't be a dick, and love God.

So no, they really aren't accurate. They're what people on the outside looking in without getting educated on what they're seeing think.

[–]Xavs42 0 points1 point ago

What you're talking about is the more "deist" version of it. The Old Testament is still part of Christian scripture and as such, Christians are supposed to follow the rules it sets. The Ten Commandments come from it, people still follow those. There are just certain rules that people no longer follow because they're unappealing or have become socially unacceptable. The entire Old Testament IS shared with the Jews but the Christians follow all its teachings all the same. The New Testament has tons of other rules in it too. Burn idols, kill witches, don't eat shellfish, don't wear clothes made of multiple types of fabric, it goes on and on. However, nobody follows a lot of these rules now for whatever reason. That doesn't change the fact that the book sets out these rules.

[–]dbcification 2 points3 points ago

From the /r/christianity FAQ, since they explain it better than I:

Christians don't ignore the Old Testament (well most don't anyways) but they do understand it differently than you do.

Like other issues discussed here, the question of the relevancy and interpretation of the Old Testament is answered in different ways by different Christians. In general, Christians don't ignore the Old Testament, but most of us do feel like there are hermeneutical methods to determine when and why it shouldn't be applied literally (which is pretty often). These methods range from popular explanatory metaphors to book-length academic discussions, and it's important to realize that most (though not all) Christians are in fact not "picking and choosing" from the Old Testament but are applying any one of several hermeneutical methods to its application.

There are different kinds of law in the Old Testament. They are Ceremonial, Civil and Moral Law.

Civil Law was law relevant to the civil society of that time.

Ceremonial Law (which had to deal with manner of worship and are seen by Christians usually to point towards Christ). This is also contains the sacrificial system and food restrictions.

Moral Law which are things like the 10 Commandments. We don't live in ancient Israel their civil laws don't apply to us. The Moral Law is more like what God is.

The Ceremonial Law is something you might think of as a glass with a hole in it and water continuously pouring into it. You have to keep water pouring into it until you you make the glass whole or stopper the hole. Christ is the stopper. The Ceremonial Law is something to do that can be accomplished. Once it is accomplished it is no longer a condition. Christ accomplished it.

Another good point to remember when considering what one should make of the Old Testament Law is to consult the Book of Acts. This is our earliest reference detailing the question about how much we should obey the Old Testament Law. In what is called the "Apostolic Decree" (Acts 15: 19-21) Gentile converts are merely required to abstain from fornication, food offered to idols, food that has been strangled and blood.

[–]DutchHardstyle 5 points6 points ago

2, 4, 5, 7, and 8 seem alright. The rest should be scrapped. One included rule should be tithing 10% of winnings. I can't think of any others at the moment.

[–]Pelleas 2 points3 points ago

I don't know why you're being downvoted. I think the tithing joke is funny.

[–]Lasercat77 0 points1 point ago

OP didn't even make this...

[–]TcFir3 1 point2 points ago

Damm my favorite types are Dark, Ghost and Psychic. I guess I be moving in with Giratina soon.....

[–]hydra877 0 points1 point ago

Don't worry, that priest will soon give you company because there's no heaven on the Pokémon world.

[–]Wild_Bulbasaur 1 point2 points ago

Where's the re-post bot when you need it?..

[–]claudesoph 1 point2 points ago

Omg, so good.

[–]MrAnonymous825 1 point2 points ago

I wouldn't mind living with giratina...

[–]zanedraco77 1 point2 points ago

YAY Protestants!

[–]Sithslayer78 1 point2 points ago

Players must capture two, a male and a female, of each Pokemon to complete the Dec.

[–]clopcrafter 0 points1 point ago

But ditto?

[–]jjmikhale 1 point2 points ago

Sounds more like the Westboro version. The Christian version lets same sex go to the same day care, has no problem with fossils, tames all snakes, and none of their pokemon are ever subjected to posion.

[–]ibbolia 2 points3 points ago

Looks like I got some rules to break.

[–]MewtwoStruckBack 2 points3 points ago

Specifically any rules regarding to having to kill legendaries, I hope?

[–]Zelrath 4 points5 points ago

This is hilarious...

[–]Pelleas 4 points5 points ago

I always take any excuse to share this fact: The Catholic Church supports the theory of evolution. Therefore, #1 does not apply.

[–]eman2421 4 points5 points ago

since when. the theory of evolution summaries that creation was random. christian beliefs as a whole state that god created everything.

[–]Zoklar 0 points1 point ago

Depends who you're talking to. I went to catholic school for 8 years in australia and was taught that the bible is there for interpretation, more of a moral guide than fact. Bible thumping rednecks are probably more what you mean. As for the pope, it was somewhat recent, within the last couple years.

[–]BlakeHobbes 3 points4 points ago

I laughed at the Bidoof Church leader to show that there are a shit ton of em everywhere and none of them are very exciting. Bring on the downvotes!!!

[–]Bookshelfstud 2 points3 points ago

oh my goodness could you tell me how you became this brave? I can only describe your brave as SO.

[–]BlakeHobbes 0 points1 point ago

Simple my dear friend, tip no.1 Dont give any fucks about people hatin tip no.2 Realize that Reddit is like Whose Line Is It Anyways, all the jokes are shitty and the points don't matter

[–]courier6ix 1 point2 points ago

No you get an upvote from me.

[–]CactusMeat 0 points1 point ago

this is actually a top post in /r/nuzlocke so i've seen it before. is there a part of reddit i havent seen before? please enlighten me/scar me for life.

[–]Smofo 1 point2 points ago

I heard theres a worse subreddit out there then /r/spacedicks

[–]Untuffel 5 points6 points ago

well there is /r/spaceclop

[–]clopcrafter 0 points1 point ago

and that's worse how?

[–]rickyrakkoon 0 points1 point ago

Im on it... BRB reddit.

[–]LePokeTroll 0 points1 point ago

I am Christian, but seriously... Giratina I am moving in.

[–]yuber123 0 points1 point ago

I normally find r/athiesm style humor to be annoying (and I'm an athiest), but this was hilarious!

[–]Schmedly27 0 points1 point ago

Since im pentacostal would I be alowed to handle the snake pokemon?

[–]AshTheGoblin 0 points1 point ago

Challenge accepted

[–]283leis 0 points1 point ago

  1. And if your pokemon faint, you must treat them as if they died and release them.

[–]O_oValoRo_O 0 points1 point ago

Got to #1 and failed. Looks like Giratina will be my new best friend...

[–]raginmund 0 points1 point ago

Can we just leave pokemon alone? Can a single thing not be stained with the cacophony of religious debate?

[–]HonestGeorge 3 points4 points ago

Nobody's debating anything.

[–]raginmund 0 points1 point ago

HonestGeorge, you are truly honest. Very right indeed.

I'm just trying to do my part to leave any form of debate outside of /r/pokemon.

[–]Chilly72 -1 points0 points ago

Does anyone here know that Protestantism is Christianity?

[–]papabopp -5 points-4 points ago

I'm Christian, and this is bullshit

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]akebeth 17 points18 points ago

First, don't insult people, especially using that horrible "fag" word.

Second, it's atheism, not athiesm.

Third, making a joke based on Christianity doesn't mean it came from an atheist.

[–]dan92 6 points7 points ago

Seriously. I dislike /r/atheism as much as the next guy, but that's not ok.

[–]opinionatedfish 2 points3 points ago

He was probably thinking this was 4chan. This is Reddit. We own pants and enjoy funny reposts on a regular basis.

[–]akebeth 0 points1 point ago

Just because I own pants doesn't mean I have to wear them!

[–]HardBoiledDragonite 0 points1 point ago

I own pants...

[–]doyouliekmudkipz[S] 1 point2 points ago

man...now i wanna know what he said. I dont know what he said and I'm this is my post. Even on my own posts im in the dark on things.

[–]akebeth 4 points5 points ago

Something along the lines of "keep atheism fag stuff out of here, I thought I was safe", with incorrect spelling/punctuality.

[–]lewok 3 points4 points ago

thank you for enlightening us of what the comment was

[–]doyouliekmudkipz[S] 0 points1 point ago

I like your flair, we have almost similar flair's...

[–]lewok 1 point2 points ago

mines just, a little more evolved

[–]doyouliekmudkipz[S] 1 point2 points ago

yup...now i feel a little...muddy

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

I am honestly not sure if you are a troll, or a moron.

[–]Filth_Fury 0 points1 point ago

Probably a moron since the comment was deleted. What did he say?

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

I dont remember, i forget about people like him the moment i realize their stupidity.

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