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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]dexter675 612 points613 points ago

Back-to-Back World War Champs!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]bootnuts 110 points111 points ago

[–]Dragonfire138 86 points87 points ago

"Daddy, why do Japanese people have squinty eyes?"

"Well, son, atomic bombs are pretty bright."

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]obilex 132 points133 points ago

Paid for my whole seat, only used the edge!

[–]SirRuto 12 points13 points ago

I laugh every damn time I see this phrase. It's just so perfectly cheesy.

[–]reddKidney 36 points37 points ago

fifty stars!

there ya go

[–]turson 2 points3 points ago

50 stars. MERICA.

[–]CunningRunt 29 points30 points ago

Sad that they wouldn't unconditionally surrender after the first one.

[–]vertigo1083 119 points120 points ago

Japan: "Yeh, we're gonna need to see you vaporize two major cities before negotiations."

Truman: "Are these guys fucking serious?"

Advisor: "Yes."

Truman: "Fuck it. Let's rock."

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]lesser_panjandrum 53 points54 points ago

And Samuel L Jackson as Japan.

[–]dcurry431 23 points24 points ago

You motherfuckas really think I'm gonna give up after one pussyass motherfuckin' atom bomb?!

[–]upthatknowledge 19 points20 points ago

and Phillip Seymour Hoffman in his breakout role as the Advisor.

[–]Scrubtanic 38 points39 points ago

Rob Schneider is... the Enola Gay

[–]jessebk 7 points8 points ago

Rated PG-13.

[–]MerlinsBeard 25 points26 points ago

"HELL YES THEY DESERVE TO DIE AND I HOPE THEY BU"

[–]pjeff61 3 points4 points ago

I'm tired of these mutha fuckin nukes droppin on my mutha fuckin country!!!

[–]Punkgoblin 2 points3 points ago

That wouldn't really work, since SJ is physically larger than Japen.

[–]Cthulhuhoop 23 points24 points ago

This made me think of Pawn Stars.

"I wanna pawn Japan for 1 million soldiers" "Best I can do is 2 nukes LOL"

Edit: The downvotes are for the LOL, aren't they?

[–]klamer 12 points13 points ago

I have a friend that's an expert in Asian countries, do you mind if I have him come down here and take a look at this?

[–]sparhawkian 1 point2 points ago

I think Truman meant: "LET'S ROOOOOCK!"

[–]Fig1024 21 points22 points ago

put this in perspective - do you think USA would surrender to the first country that dropped a nuke on one of its cities?

No. USA wouldn't surrender until ALL the cities were nuked. Japan pussied out

[–]oscar2001 1 point2 points ago

That was just our celebratory firework show.

[–]YNot1989 1 point2 points ago

We won a war by destroying two cities with Quantum Physics.

[–]jakeb1991 16 points17 points ago

America's declaration of war was like a laughing Terry Crews watching a dozen midget brawl. Until one stepped on his toe...

[–]tophermeyer 3 points4 points ago

I love how please Stallone looks.

[–]Hamburger_Hinderer 8 points9 points ago

Jason Statham's reaction was even better.

[–][deleted] 84 points85 points ago

despite late entry to both competitions :P

[–]mainsworth 387 points388 points ago

Apparently America has to apologize for not starting wars now.

[–]sunwriter 137 points138 points ago

First they complain that America's late, now they're complaining that America is too early. We just can't win. =[

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]willymo 74 points75 points ago

Simultaneous orgasm.

[–]lesser_panjandrum 59 points60 points ago

Wargasm.

[–]JimmyR42 8 points9 points ago

We call it : Armageddon ;)

[–]Perturbed_Spartan 5 points6 points ago

Armagetiton

[–]FBIorange 13 points14 points ago

We would call it the Korean or Gulf War. In and and then out when the job was done

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

Korean war isn't over.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]FBIorange 13 points14 points ago

37k American deaths in Korea is not enough to qualify?

[–]sunwriter 6 points7 points ago

Shit would explode.

[–]apextek 4 points5 points ago

nobody wants you to come late and they dont want you to come early either. the object is to come at the same time.

[–]sunwriter 4 points5 points ago

Pfft. This isn't a romance novel. People don't come at the same time! Oh... you're not talking about... whoops!

[–]HobbitsAreHipsters 10 points11 points ago

Excellent response

[–]MostlyOffensiveStuff 17 points18 points ago

I think I love you

[–]darkneo86 5 points6 points ago

So what am I so afraid of?

[–]Zebba_Odirnapal 17 points18 points ago

They were building up their units and letting the other sides wear each other down. Classic Civ II strategy.

[–]bassistwanted 1 point2 points ago

Factual, timely, relevant. Upvote for you!

[–]WigginIII 23 points24 points ago

I would argue, rather, fashionably late.

[–]SXHarrasmentPanda 9 points10 points ago

America is never late, they arrive precisely when they mean to.

[–]Tashre 14 points15 points ago

It's called giving a head start and is part of being a good sportsman.

[–]BattleHall 5 points6 points ago

Not enough credit goes to the guy who slips out from under the ring with a folding chair...

[–]CunningRunt 12 points13 points ago

We're a peaceful nation. We don't fight until someone surprise attacks us (Japan) or declares war on us first (Germany).

Things have changed a little recently, though.

[–]MerlinsBeard 16 points17 points ago

Well, this raises a moral quandry:

If WW2 in it's full scope could be avoided but it would come at the cost of US/France/UK declaring war on Germany instead of granting constant Appeasement in the late 30s... would it be worth it?

Because the "cutting them off at the pass" Pre-Emptive War was a strategy that developed retrospectively after WW2 and directly due to lessons learned in WW2. People constantly lament "those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it" but yet those who do learn from history change it for what is mostly seen as a negative.

But what if a reclusive strategy leaves a power vacuum that a more nefarious power fills? Oh well, as long as the US isn't criticized, right? People critize the US for not getting into WW1/WW2 early enough then critize the US for stifling Soviet power advances and potentially preventing a 3rd World War or even worse a thermonuclear war. But, what you do that prevents another action is never recorded... only what you did.

So people call what could be the US not granting Appeasement to the Soviets unlike the French/UK granting Appeasement to the Nazis as the US just being power-hungry in it's own. We left South Korea pretty well off and people also need to realize that if South Korea had been overrun China was very likely to launch a full-scale invasion of Japan. And kamikaze wouldn't have saved them this time.

So the Japanese bitched about US troops being there and in Okinawa but I'm sure they'd rather have the US there than China recreating Nanking in Nagoya.

[–]theshamespearofhurt 1 point2 points ago

America. FUCK YEAH!!!

[–]Slartibartfastthe3rd 287 points288 points ago

"Well, don't want to sound like a dick or nothin', but, ah... it says on your chart that you're fucked up. Ah, you talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded."

[–]TAMPON_POPSICLE 112 points113 points ago

"Don't worry scro'! There are plenty of 'tards out there living really kick ass lives. My first wife was 'tarded. She's a pilot now."

[–]rfbandit 88 points89 points ago

There's that fag talk, we talked about...

[–]TigerBomber 36 points37 points ago

WHY COME YOU NO HAVE TATTOO!??

[–]ByJiminy 43 points44 points ago

A future in which everyone talks in YouTube comments? Dystopian, indeed.

[–]diversionmary 40 points41 points ago

like this comment if you like that comment

[–]TAMPON_POPSICLE 7 points8 points ago

like this comment if you like that comment

[–]stillnotking 12 points13 points ago

like this and like that and like this and uh

[–]pseudohim 4 points5 points ago

By Jiminy!

[–]prezident_camacho 27 points28 points ago

Shit. I know shit's bad right now with all that starvin' bullshit. And the dust storms. And we runnin' out of French Fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution.

[–]idontcarethatmuch 8 points9 points ago

I gotta solution. You're a dick!

South Carolina - what's up!

One of my favorite move lines ever...

[–]betterthanthee 7 points8 points ago

What I do is like.... ya know...

[–]reynej 23 points24 points ago

[–]itsprobablytrue 6 points7 points ago

What movie is this?

[–]splicerslicer 51 points52 points ago

Idiocracy.
Go watch it this instant.

[–]OatStraw 11 points12 points ago

Then go re-evaluate your life for not seeing it sooner!

[–]idontcarethatmuch 8 points9 points ago

Then cry because in a few more years...

[–]thelizardkin 1 point2 points ago

It's on YouTube

[–]dexter675 5 points6 points ago

Wake up Australia, there's shit happening!

[–]rockoholik13 244 points245 points ago

BRAWNDO. THIRST MUTILATOR.

[–]GeneralWarts 126 points127 points ago

It's got what plants crave.

[–]eginnard[S] 127 points128 points ago

electrolytes!

[–]nusmesa 66 points67 points ago

But what are electrolytes? Does anyone know?

[–]fullmetalx91 99 points100 points ago

It's what plants crave.

[–]evilregis 18 points19 points ago

Have you ever seen plants grow out of a toilet?

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points ago

Its what brawndo has!

[–]Whitty_Screen_Name 34 points35 points ago

You should use water Like out the toilet?!?

[–]sundayultimate 23 points24 points ago

I've never seen any plants growing out of the toilet

[–]C_M_Burns 5 points6 points ago

Hey, that's pretty good. You sure you ain't the smartest guy in the world?

[–]fechera 4 points5 points ago

[–]MyAntiAlterEgo 1 point2 points ago

In case you want to find Brawndo, you know to feed your plants and shit.

[–]go4x4it 58 points59 points ago

[–]Stregano 13 points14 points ago

you like money too? we should hang out

[–]pwwilly 9 points10 points ago

That's what I'm talkin' bout!

[–]Andersmith[!] 1 point2 points ago

Ten xxxtra large!

[–]itchypits 3 points4 points ago

Goddamn, shit's changed in a year!!!

[–]Bondsy 14 points15 points ago

What a beautiful man.

[–]philipquarles 3 points4 points ago

The President of America!

[–]popyour_likethis 2 points3 points ago

Aw yeah Broncos!

[–]anxiousalpaca 2 points3 points ago

Have an A.

[–]evolvolution 1 point2 points ago

your the only one in this thread that deserves any upvotes

[–]noccusJohnstein 41 points42 points ago

Dwayne Elizando Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho: five-time Ultimate Smackdown champion, porn superstar, and President of the United States.

[–]Jeffhole 28 points29 points ago

"If you don't smoke Charleton's, then fuck you."

[–]teetertot 2 points3 points ago

Isn't it Tarryltons??

[–]insanity99 10 points11 points ago

Whats all this about? What did I miss reddit?

[–]xLynne 2 points3 points ago

It's just a response to this post

[–]philipquarles 10 points11 points ago

I just hope I live long enough the experience all the awesome stuff the future has to offer, like the violence channel, brawndo, monday night rehabilitation, and handjobs at starbucks.

[–]Kimgoesrawrrr 2 points3 points ago

Especially, OW! MY BALLS!

[–]pseudolobster 34 points35 points ago

I find it hard to believe there are only two animated GIFs of President Camacho on the internet, and this one sucks.

[–]icannotfly 23 points24 points ago

what the hell is going on with that guy in the chair

[–]Hellrazor236 14 points15 points ago

A dimensional shambler got him.

[–]CorDol95 4 points5 points ago

He is obviously from Night at the Roxbury

[–]Z3F 84 points85 points ago

If only Obama were that enthusiastic.

[–]Narwhalxxx 53 points54 points ago

And if only he looked that badass.

[–]Fuqwon 74 points75 points ago

I really really hope when Obama is reelected that he grows out a huge fro and then occasionally gets cornrows.

I'm pretty sure Fox News would just implode.

[–]TheySeeMeDerpinn 22 points23 points ago

HAHAHAH FOX NEWS HATEZ BLACK PPL AMIRITE?!?

[–]rub3s 16 points17 points ago

You are correct, sir.

[–]stoogemcduck 7 points8 points ago

Everyone wants a president that they think they could "have a beer with", why not a president that you could have a beer with on a fucking motorcycle?

[–]BabyCakesL19 42 points43 points ago

Wait... That's not Obama?

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

Sorry, they all look alike to me.

[–]pseudohim 7 points8 points ago

You disgrace the memory of Patrick Henry.

[–]JesteroftheApocalyps 1 point2 points ago

Well, Obama wasn't 4-time World Wrestling Champ and ex-porn star.

CAMACHO 2012!

[–]HuxleyBomb 18 points19 points ago

My favorite part of this scene (and one of my favorite things about the movie) is that the Secretary of Education rocks a double .50 Cal machine gun on top of an R.V.

[–]ZacharyTayl 8 points9 points ago

brought to you by Carl's Jr.

[–]Renegade_Master 9 points10 points ago

Now to make some American bag water.

[–]mydogisdumb 13 points14 points ago

Top three:

"pretending to support our awesome wars." "they claim they were bigger than jesus and damn it no one is bigger than Jesus, except maybe... super Jesus." " Don't let the hippie liberals distract you from what true American patriotism is all about; hating other countries because they are different than us."

[–]Tfish 4 points5 points ago

"They knighted Elton John, and he's about the biggest homo there is."

[–]Stylux 2 points3 points ago

Those fucking Youtube comments ... I'm going to go drink now.

[–]Se7en_Sinner 174 points175 points ago

[–]this_sort_of_thing 18 points19 points ago

This guy, they must fully test his recoil absorption prowess. I bet he could hip fire two 20mm autocannons without even flinching

[–]lurkersaurus 50 points51 points ago

That is fatfuckingtastic.

[–]sfurules 112 points113 points ago

Too bad the dude isn't American...

[–]veterejf 129 points130 points ago

He is now, we just recruited him.

[–]Dahaole 50 points51 points ago

"And with the 53rd pick in the United Nations Draft, America selects the fat fuck with the spastic trigger finger."

[–]Scrubtanic 10 points11 points ago

We're picking 53rd this year? I thought we at least won our division...

[–]carlosspicywe1ner 1 point2 points ago

We did, but we also own the rights to Iraq's pick.

[–]BlueFamily 2 points3 points ago

He's using his thumb to fire.

[–]TomorrowPlusX 24 points25 points ago

Out of curiosity what nationality is he? This admirable level of obesity and firearms enthusiasm are what this country needs.

[–]mindglitch 15 points16 points ago

I wonder if he could be considered a heavy weapons platform...

[–]Vault-Tec_Knows_Best 1 point2 points ago

That made me wince and laugh simultaneously, well done.

[–]sfurules 5 points6 points ago

If my memory serves correctly, he is from Costa Rica...there was a thread in the last week about him. There was some video (which is the gif) of him shooting some huge number of bullets in a short time...on youtubes somewhere....

[–]Ceiba 23 points24 points ago

Why come you don't have a tattoo?

[–]nakedspacecowboy 14 points15 points ago

Best portrayal of an American President in film goes to...

Terry Crews!

[–]Misc_Rodriguez 21 points22 points ago

God, I love how awesome we are!

[–]Italian_Barrel_Roll 17 points18 points ago

Screw "redditor"--this is how I feel as an American at any hour full stop.

[–]Monty_Brogan 36 points37 points ago

[–]Flashthunder 11 points12 points ago

Carries*

[–]better_with_muffins 9 points10 points ago

Don't you tell Murricah how to spell!

[–]Tfish 3 points4 points ago

I told that teachin' lady "The only letters I need to know are U, S, and A."

[–]Trapped_in_Reddit 129 points130 points ago

[–]saroj7878 82 points83 points ago

Boy...is America all about middle fingers.

[–]prehensiledong 165 points166 points ago

AN' IF YEW DON' LIKE IT, YOU CAN JUST GIIIIIIIIIT OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT

[–]bvanman 17 points18 points ago

Now Skeeter, he ain't hurting nobody.

[–]Axin13 52 points53 points ago

DERR TERK URR JERRB!

[–]kwisatzidaho 26 points27 points ago

Dey took er jerbs!

[–]Forest525 26 points27 points ago

Pretty much, man. Pretty much.

[–]Herculix 24 points25 points ago

America. Because fuck you.

[–]Brueggcj 6 points7 points ago

Middle finger with the thumb out is the most patriotic

[–]mysticrudnin 2 points3 points ago

middle fingers are hilarious.

[–]Dimwit86 1 point2 points ago

[–]CoachMingo 30 points31 points ago

BIG ASS TITTIES!

[–]kwisatzidaho 4 points5 points ago

Mother nature is about to piss her pants!

[–]moobeat 5 points6 points ago

Yeah I hurt myself, I hurt my nose

[–]War_and_Oates 1 point2 points ago

[–]MickiFreeIsNotAGirl 8 points9 points ago

You're fucking out!
I'M fucking in!

[–]Bass2Mouth 1 point2 points ago

You ready to go suck your dreams dick?

[–]HawkeyeFan321 5 points6 points ago

The American flag, baseball, middle fingers, and fireworks. All we need now is some beer an this would encapsulate America at its best.

[–]nanowerx 11 points12 points ago

Kenny Powers is America!

[–]charros 2 points3 points ago

you're fucking out i'm fucking in

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points ago

USA USA USA!

[–]iatethefruit 9 points10 points ago

That gif makes my day as an american.

[–]Koshercrab 3 points4 points ago

I'm saving this .gif for the 4th of July.

[–]U_P_G_R_A_Y_E_D_D 9 points10 points ago

I feel like that all the time, regardless of being on Reddit or not.

[–]Kimgoesrawrrr 2 points3 points ago

Awww shit! Upgrayedd is gonna KILL ME!

[–]colonelgetafe 3 points4 points ago

two d's for a double dose of pimping.

[–]KidneyFailure 15 points16 points ago

I don't feel like 3/5th of a person

[–]swiftmickey 5 points6 points ago

UPVOTE EVERYTHING IDIOCRACY!

[–]harmonichaos 4 points5 points ago

Does anyone else like this movie as much as I do?

[–]biggyd1234 3 points4 points ago

Yep.

[–]Zoomerlawns 2 points3 points ago

Not me, because I like it MORE than you!

[–]jimothyjenkins 1 point2 points ago

bahahaha. that beats the bitguys post IMO. lol

[–]biased-opinion 1 point2 points ago

'MURIICAAAA

[–]kidblast 1 point2 points ago

Yes, sir, and rightly so.

[–]DukeOfGeek 1 point2 points ago

This is my favorite "America fuck ya picture". It's the guy with the twin 50"s in the background that really ties it all together.

[–]Shehaaz 1 point2 points ago

I'm Canadian...I agree, so many filthy Awesome Americans here!! :)

[–]OriginT 1 point2 points ago

Can't really speak for the world... but I reckon this is how the rest of the world see Americans.

[–]Aimin4ya 1 point2 points ago

Not now! Batin'

[–]gmonkey129 1 point2 points ago

Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho for president 2012!

[–]JLetten 1 point2 points ago

Oh my. This has 11,444 downvotes

[–]twenty7w 1 point2 points ago

This is awesome hahahahaha

[–]pwing 1 point2 points ago

Shit get me a beer. Get yo' self one too.

[–]Pythagoras_the_Great 1 point2 points ago

ELECTROLYTES

[–]stuff_and_crap 1 point2 points ago

Honest question: What do we think is going on in the rest of the world, outside the US, throughout the movie [Idiocracy]? Apologies for my fag talk.

[–]RADARrevolt 1 point2 points ago

Perfect. Just perfect.

[–]jtrinka4 1 point2 points ago

MURICA FUCK YA

[–]Peter_Panic 1 point2 points ago

Mike Judge was really overlooked with this movie...in 20 years he'll be a prophet, just turn on the TV and see for yourself...'Merica? Fuck no.

[–]Rsrulesusuk 1 point2 points ago

Idiocracy. Awesome movie,