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top 200 commentsshow all 290

[–]ALLBLVCK 347 points348 points ago

Hes even doing the hover hand!

[–]Imaybereptar 105 points106 points ago

She's not even real and he still fucks it up!

[–]IJohnst 26 points27 points ago

[–]ALLBLVCK 3 points4 points ago

hahaha yes!

[–]JAV0K 6 points7 points ago

"Let me just move her a little higher"

"Nah, I wouldn't dare"

[–]Fapologist 27 points28 points ago

Who are you to judge!! Leave them alone, they look happy.

[–]HustlerThug 58 points59 points ago

Oh don't worry, he already is alone.

[–]FuckingTornadoes 2 points3 points ago

heh

[–]akamushi2 12 points13 points ago

Still better than the pony fags

[–]Midnight_Skye -2 points-1 points ago

:|

[–]meatrocket69 0 points1 point ago

HoverrrrHAND takes me where I wanna goooo...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kM6pEg_Ps9o

[–]Bokstavkjeks 76 points77 points ago

"ur gf is super mkawaii!! is she part nipponese????:)"

hado-chan is japanese yes she somtimes speaks japanese to me like ohayou that means good morning

HNNGGGG

[–]mrpopenfresh 112 points113 points ago

Stop being so tsundere.

[–]JohnAdamZiolkowski 70 points71 points ago

At least he's alpha enough to call her on that.

[–]MacNamedDre 171 points172 points ago

hoverhanding a fictional character. This man is a beacon of confidence.

[–]FauxShizzle 41 points42 points ago

Come on now, hugging a non-existent entity takes practice.

[–]raydeen 21 points22 points ago

She probably moved at the last second.

[–]DrPeavey 6 points7 points ago

It's obvious she's just camera-shy.

[–]tf2pro 249 points250 points ago

I honestly can't laugh at this it's too pathetic.

[–]Stewart_Fishington 139 points140 points ago

Don't worry, I think I laughed enough for the both of us.

[–]HarryLeggs 15 points16 points ago

Laugh again, I couldn't. Tears almost formed due to it being a painful sight. I wish I were being dramatic.

[–]Cocomunky 0 points1 point ago

I got ya covered.

[–]S1ayer 24 points25 points ago

If you have a better way of dating an anime character, I would like to hear it!

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

"I would never judge you, Kureega-san!"

"Well your mother sure as hell does!"

Goddamnit I love Krieger.

[–]I_have_a_dog -1 points0 points ago

Do you not know? About Krieger? About Brazil? Maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

[–]WastingMyYouthHere 4 points5 points ago

Well you can always make them a facebook page.

[–]wafflausages 38 points39 points ago

I wonder if these kinds of people even think twice of what they're actually doing ~_~

[–]tBexosaurus 40 points41 points ago

his face - he knows

[–]retrospects 10 points11 points ago

Those chops are where he stores his shame.

[–]Hate_Manifestation 14 points15 points ago

It looks like he put more than a minute's work into it; I'm pretty sure he knows exactly what he's doing.

[–]durl 4 points5 points ago

Well I mean...it's fake...so...well...feel free to laugh.

[–]YourOldBoyRickJames 36 points37 points ago

Yeah, that girl he's with is definitely photoshopped

[–]durl 7 points8 points ago

Oh wow...yeah...I walked into that one. But the Tumblr is also BS and clearly a parody.

[–]seezou22 60 points61 points ago

NSFW-http://madthad0890.tumblr.com/post/14221449410/it-was-our-first-time While extremely hilarious, this CANNOT be unseen. The guy whose blog this is eventually was arrested for possessing cp. If anyone has the imgur links to the interrogation and court transcriptions that would be great as I can't find em.

[–]Blown_Ranger 25 points26 points ago

Wow, I hadn't read that before.

I am glad he was dumb enough to post all that shit on Facebook.

[–]Squeekydink 25 points26 points ago

things\don't click\cp\cp

He's not very original when naming files...

[–]OccamsAxe 4 points5 points ago

I'd have gone with birdpics\waterfowl\ducks and surround my porn with actual birds.

[–]tryndasphere 19 points20 points ago

That dude is so fucking dumb. I hope he enjoys his stay in jail.

[–]ErnieHemingway 24 points25 points ago

I broke down at "WELL TELL 7 YEAR OLD GIRLS TO STOP SUCKING DICK SO SEXY".

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

[–]SoSweaty 9 points10 points ago

I was really hoping after it got to the part about the contents of the USB drive that it would say "Also located on the usb flash drive was a copy of MCMICHAEL'S resamays."

[–]robwasripped 17 points18 points ago

IT'S FOIL PROOF!

[–]knylok 4 points5 points ago

It's true. His plan was completely resistant to foils. Air foils, tin foils, all the foils.

[–]vacerious 6 points7 points ago

He is not the hero that /b/ wants, but he is an hero that /b/ deserves.

[–]trecko1234 7 points8 points ago

This entire page is fucking gold.

[–]Leadbaptist 15 points16 points ago

Of course he was from fucking /b/ facepalm

[–]seezou22 4 points5 points ago

There we go. Thank you very much!

[–]TryingToSucceed 0 points1 point ago

WHAT THE FUCK!?

[–]gman96734 1 point2 points ago

"MCMICHAEL claimed this was a joke". Wow, that line doesn't get old. I'm not surprised that somebody who talked openly about cp wouldn't have thought out his defense very well.

[–]bewst 27 points28 points ago

WHAT THE FUCK

[–]Coshi 13 points14 points ago

Hmm I wonder why I watched this man have sex with a pillow for six minutes. I mean he was really into it and I could just not stop watching his performance.

[–]vacerious 9 points10 points ago

That guy wasn't just having sex with the pillow. He was makin' love to that pillow.

[–]IAmThePat 2 points3 points ago

It was their first time, there was still a lot of passion between them, before she let herself go.

[–]UnWealthy 2 points3 points ago

A pillow that fine you have to romance first.

[–]Cam3739 10 points11 points ago

That was like watching my dog hump a stuffed animal, but less funny.

[–]andymaq 25 points26 points ago

[–]Aspel 4 points5 points ago

Don't mock James Franco's love for Kimiko.

[–]ofirissmart 4 points5 points ago

My name is James Franko, and I am publicly known to be in love with a Japanese body pillow!

[–]Brbcoffee 2 points3 points ago

Argh! You're being such a non-pillow right now!

[–]anothertake 8 points9 points ago

I don't know what was I expecting when I clicked that link.

[–]seezou22 7 points8 points ago

deaddove.jpg

[–]Whoa_Chill_Bro 7 points8 points ago

cp still means 'clown pussy' right?

[–]Vessix 8 points9 points ago

[–]banjeed 0 points1 point ago

I fucking hate this shit!!! It's not a fucking pizza if it's doesn't have cheese. That's just 'pizza'. You don't order a fucking pepperoni 'and cheese' pizza!

[–]ThatOneLundy 2 points3 points ago

No, it means "Cinnamon Pretzels." I'm sure of it.

[–]ScomberomorusCavalla 1 point2 points ago

"Cheesy pizza" nowadays I think.

[–]nomnomchikhan 6 points7 points ago

Yeah. One mention of cp and I'm not clicking that. After all the crap on askreddit, you must be kidding to expect anyone to click that.

[–]Sasmo 58 points59 points ago

It's a guy fucking a pillow.

[–]theesotericrutabaga 13 points14 points ago

That's....better I suppose.

[–]EatBeets 15 points16 points ago

It's a sad state of affairs if you're relieved that it was a guy fucking a pillow...

[–]seezou22 14 points15 points ago

LOL fair enough, but I assure you it's not cp. Anyone who posts that shit even as a joke deserves prison. It's a black guy humping his anime pillow.

[–]fisticuffsmanship 21 points22 points ago

Okay, but how do we know the pillow is over 18?

[–]seezou22 14 points15 points ago

[–]OutlawGrrl 3 points4 points ago

I looked and all the cp is anime. There are some RL porn gifs but those are pretty tame.

[–]Delfishie 9 points10 points ago

That'll still get you arrested in the USA and Canada.

[–]Red-Pill 15 points16 points ago

Hmm, I thought you were wrong at first so I checked wiki: here

What I gleaned from this was that it is 100% illegal in Canada but more subtle in the US. In 2002, the Supreme Court struck down a ban that targeted all forms of virtual or cartoon porn. (In most cases where people got sent to jail, they also had real cp, not just anime/manga.) However, this does not protect against "obscene" speech. This is why Christopher Hendley got nailed in court, even though he only had anime porn never any of the real stuff. I'm just flabbergasted. Btw pretty much across the board, except for Russia, Japan, and Italy, loli is illegal.

Here, check out this picture. Boom, guilty of possesion of cp.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

Gotta love those obscenity laws.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obscenity

[–]Natural_One 1 point2 points ago

Its cool. Just tell the feds you clicked it "as a joke".

[–]knylok 0 points1 point ago

Read about this fellow's CP collection. Glad he was caught. Hope he gets the help he needs...

[–]wtfOP 0 points1 point ago

i need to look at this when i get home

[–]heyhocloudy 13 points14 points ago

Guys... you do realise this was a JOKE POST? I follow the guy and he's a chill dude. holy shit reddit calm your tits

[–]nikipaprika 6 points7 points ago

If anyone could be even bothered to actually go to the blog, you'd see this, this and this, linked for your convenience. This supposedly racist individual with no life and a 2d girlfriend and others who are aquaintences of his are mocking the fact that users in this thread severly lack the intellectual capacity to even consider the notion that the first image was in fact, THE JOKE. You all missed it and decided to create your own weak attempts at "jokes" at the expense of this guy, giving this whole ordeal a coating of irony on top of this cake of stupidity.

[–]Natural_One -1 points0 points ago

Whats funny about it? Really, whats "the joke"? Looks more like a sad individual with an unhealthy obsession. If he doesnt actually take creepy pics of himself with fictional characters and did this for attention, then thats another level of fucked up we havent touched yet.

[–]enfermedad 3 points4 points ago

Upboats for the truth, my sister is a friend of his and told me about it. Reddit is certainly quick to jump to conclusions.

[–]honest_ed 10 points11 points ago

in the plus side, his sideburns are magnificent

[–]Ernestiqus 0 points1 point ago

Came here to post this, have an upvote instead.

[–]lomonikon 10 points11 points ago

Krieger! http://www.viddler.com/v/99a9d6aa the state of new york would NOT allow this guy to marry his waifu

[–]PB_Jones 8 points9 points ago

I used to wonder who ever clicked the ads on porn sites, but I guess I have my answer now

[–]notworkinghard36 4 points5 points ago

I do sometimes just to laugh at how terrible the scam sites are, and then immediately run an anti-virus/spyware/oh-god-why-did-i-click-that scan.

[–]PB_Jones 0 points1 point ago

Ah what happens? Always so curious but never had the balls to do it

[–]notworkinghard36 1 point2 points ago

"If you're like me, you have a tiny penis. I'm going to tell you how I conquered my problem and now have a massive 27" steel-hard cunt-mace, but first I'm going to tell you my life story, what every woman you'll ever meet thinks about every penis she's ever seen, a brief lesson in the history of acryllic paint, how Microsoft's E3 conference is a sure sign of the apocalypse, and why you shouldn't worry about this just stalling you long enough for this site to finish downloading a massive, unfixable viru-..."

BSOD.

[–]Jeremy252 43 points44 points ago

Jemaine Clement got really fucking weird.

[–]fisticuffsmanship 1 point2 points ago

At least they'll probably get a funny song about being dumped by an anime character out of it

[–]dinomite917 0 points1 point ago

Not to mention fat.

[–]bobbydigitalFTW 4 points5 points ago

He looks like he wants some milk.

[–]isiah1979 46 points47 points ago

Forever alone at it's finest.

[–]Spiffy313 22 points23 points ago

*its

it's = it is

[–]isiah1979 7 points8 points ago

shit

[–]Dmuff 1 point2 points ago

Whenever I see write this, I always have to check.

[–]nightwing2024 4 points5 points ago

I don't understand how he doesn't have a real girlfriend. Those chops are fucking epic.

[–]NothingbothersJulaar 26 points27 points ago

Its funny, but I fucking feel bad for this guy.

[–]gnomestress 3 points4 points ago

I felt bad until I started reading his blog.

http://kojikatsuragi.wordpress.com/2012/05/05/why-you-only-see-whites-in-anime/

Holy racism, Batman!

[–]NothingbothersJulaar 1 point2 points ago

D:

[–]Obsolite_Processor 18 points19 points ago

Hikikomori.

Probably a NEET too.

More common then you think and becoming a growing problem in the united states too.

[–]b3n_5mash 4 points5 points ago

could you expand on this?

[–]StrangeAeons 7 points8 points ago

Google to the rescue!

Hikikomori

NEET

[–]BoxOfHope 20 points21 points ago

I feel bad for him. He's probably had something fuck up his childhood to do stuff like that. A psychological shit storm right here, a la Maslow.

[–]PlatinumToasterRape 4 points5 points ago

He seems pretty self aware of the situation.

[–]nickgenova 1 point2 points ago

thats what happens when you name your son "Thadeus." thats enough childhood trauma.

[–]unrectifiable 6 points7 points ago

Need more tentacles.

[–]Broto_tiller 4 points5 points ago

This upstanding fellow embarked on a quest to asia and then japan. Read about his many adventures in the world of 2d girlfriends.

His entire blog is completely insane. Most people have at least one page on their blog where they at least seem like a regular, well adjusted person.

[–]Snuggadillo 0 points1 point ago

THANK YOU FOR THIS. Apparently, according to him, America owned Great Britain along with Russia and Japan in WW2....

[–]Flan26 1 point2 points ago

I'm assuming that he meant "owned" as in "pwned".

But he dare not post that because I'm sure he's afraid it would make him look silly.

[–]EatBeets 0 points1 point ago

These posts are kind of blowing my mind. How do you even argue with somebody who rejects this world? Grandiosity, lack of remorse...this wiki checklist for sociopathy, hes just knockin' em down. Do you have anymore insightful examples sir?

[–]scudswiddly 0 points1 point ago

Wtf is going on

[–]eilzomalzo 0 points1 point ago

Reading this guy's blog is slowly turning my brain into soup in the most painful way possible. WHY CAN'T I LOOK AWAY?!

[–]AuDBallBag 5 points6 points ago

Reminds me of this.

[–]Yatagasaru 2 points3 points ago

You say there are more like this. Show us and let the laughs continue.

[–]vacerious 0 points1 point ago

Agreed.

[–]Airazz 2 points3 points ago

This is known as the waifu culture. Lonely guys (and some girls) pick some anime character as their wife and take it very seriously.

There's also a subreddit for that as well as some youtube videos. Yes, they're actually serious about that.

[–]Omega2112 1 point2 points ago

click ...

close firefox

start CCleaner

[–]Rosenkrantz_ 1 point2 points ago

I feel your pain, bro.

[–]neibs 5 points6 points ago

Girls are always looking for confidence boosters. Even fictional ones.

[–]shatinahat 66 points67 points ago

Yeah, sorry dude. I have to downvote this. Not because it's a bad post, but because I don't want this to get big and have this kid's life get any worse than it already is. :(

[–]blakeandbake 96 points97 points ago

So your downvote is going to save his soul?

[–]w0bb 58 points59 points ago

what a guy.

[–]cwstjnobbs 15 points16 points ago

Smoke him a kipper, he'll be back for breakfast.

[–]unholymackerel 1 point2 points ago

could we have kippers for breakfast?

[–]TheInternetPope 4 points5 points ago

a hero among men

[–]HeelsUpDickIn 26 points27 points ago

Internet white knights are in our presence.

[–]goddangit 11 points12 points ago

thought white knights only protect girls?

[–]PlatinumToasterRape 23 points24 points ago

SRS WILL BE HEARING ABOUT THIS

[–]Ascott1989 0 points1 point ago

Look at his armour shine.

[–]RangerSchool 1 point2 points ago

Only the Beat Boys can free his soul.

[–]Sexylisk 3 points4 points ago

good man

[–]thethingofcreepy 0 points1 point ago

SO BRAVE

[–]ibelucas 4 points5 points ago

Japan called. Wants their women back.

[–]notworkinghard36 6 points7 points ago

They can keep 'em, I like my women with a little more depth, these chicks are just too two-dimensional.

[–]KdG_GenesyS 10 points11 points ago

This has to be a joke... He really does this? C'mon.

[–]megustalife[S] 35 points36 points ago

Not just him. There's more. Here's some of the posts he has liked.

[–]zhode 12 points13 points ago

Those are females, does he not see the beautiful logic here. At least I'm pretty sure the one on the left is a girl

[–]Gamand 5 points6 points ago

Maybe he planned that and he is some kind of evil genious

[–]Riotjester 25 points26 points ago

Is that Guts?

[–]FauxShizzle 20 points21 points ago

He's a romantic at heart.

[–]Coffee_plus_oldmovie 13 points14 points ago

But he's taken. He's only cheated on Casca once... and that was to score a KILL

[–]vacerious 1 point2 points ago

I'd hit it...with an 8 foot magical greatsword.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

Oh my god I do not know what to say to that.

[–]NivMidget 3 points4 points ago

i...what....he...what...what?!?!

[–]SmoothWD40 3 points4 points ago

A [SPACE] LOT ----------- A [SPACE] LOT GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

[–]SecondDerivative 3 points4 points ago

There must be something about having an imaginary anime SO that makes a person really terrible at Photoshop.

[–]shlomo_baggins 4 points5 points ago

Shit like this makes me feel better about those wasted months in aol chat rooms as a teenager. I never digressed to this stage of delusion.

[–]acidmonkey 3 points4 points ago

I love you.

I love you too.

Me too.

[–]EndSage 2 points3 points ago

Pissed this weeboo used Tsundere wrong . Fucking weeboos

[–]skyclown 1 point2 points ago

I'm sorry but could you explain this madness and what those words mean? You seem to know something and I haven't a fucking clue on this one.

[–]Pinknose_98 6 points7 points ago

Tsunderes are a type of anime character who act tough and mean on the outside but are easily flustered and loving.

[–]Chrischn89 3 points4 points ago

The type that gets tentacles into their holes in hentai?

[–]EndSage 1 point2 points ago

In old 4chan nomenclature , the term weeaboo would apply to this individual , the usage of the word changes greatly from person to person , but in the context I used it , it would be ...

Def 1

"weaboo = wapanese = a white person who wants to be Japanese

It's really simple, people. Just think "wigger", except with asians. "

An then mentioning that he used the word/term Tsundere loosely.VERY LOOSELY.( http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Tsundere )

[–]RichPete 1 point2 points ago

Kreiger!

[–]stimbus 1 point2 points ago

You should cross post that to /r/foreveralone.

[–]WhenWhereWho 1 point2 points ago

I feel like we need more pics. This is...funny because it's sad.

[–]lawngnome1 1 point2 points ago

Typical 4chaner

[–]pflaumen 1 point2 points ago

still a better love story than Twilight

[–]salehalt 1 point2 points ago

So Kawaii desu ugguu~ _

[–]sovietsupersoldier 2 points3 points ago

so romantic....

[–]whimmy_millionaire 2 points3 points ago

Did...did you downvote yourself?

[–]specop16 1 point2 points ago

No free upvotes. Some redditors do it, others don't. I don't.

[–]seannino 2 points3 points ago

There ARE way more like this

[–]lutzee 0 points1 point ago

hand hovering!!!!

[–]IdleScV 0 points1 point ago

I love you too andy-kun!

[–]stealthmoe 0 points1 point ago

Anime Pro.

[–]whoopygoldberg 0 points1 point ago

Fucking goddamn.

[–]tamakitty22 0 points1 point ago

Source?

[–]DiabetesDale 0 points1 point ago

Are you....I don't......Jesus.

[–]mhealzz 0 points1 point ago

classic hover hand

[–]LilithImmaculate 0 points1 point ago

Where did you find this? I must see more

[–]BerserkWolfman 0 points1 point ago

Post more.

[–]marbeastmodius 0 points1 point ago

Forever alone guy.....is better off than this guy

[–]fixedonthesun 0 points1 point ago

I demand moar.

[–]vivalataco 0 points1 point ago

I love how he says 'me too'

[–]bmodin 0 points1 point ago

That motherfucker better get his hands off my girlfriend..

[–]Oideron 0 points1 point ago

Like as much as this is lol worthy I'm just depressed

[–]Pinoycoooper 0 points1 point ago

Forever alone.

[–]EL_DIABLOW 0 points1 point ago

POST THE OTHERS!!!

[–]Lizardd 0 points1 point ago

There are way more like this. I like his chops.

[–]Son_of_Fritz 0 points1 point ago

You know, I used to think i was the walking incarnation of the Forever Alone guy, but seeing guys like this make me feel like I'm actually a productive member of society.

[–]Captain_Redonculus 0 points1 point ago

There are**

[–]Mr0Mike0 0 points1 point ago

Forever alone level = Over 9000!

[–]Identify_the_feel 0 points1 point ago

[–]not_aNinja 0 points1 point ago

Link for the lazy. It seems he just did it as a joke.

[–]dDavidb 0 points1 point ago

Forever alone level: Unbearable

[–]Sgt_Soggybottoms 0 points1 point ago

jermaine from flight of the conchords has really hit bottom

[–]MuffinGuffin 0 points1 point ago

Loneliness level: Photoshop

[–]Wavebutts 0 points1 point ago

Reddit is full of supersleuths, wow great, they know this isn't a joke foooor suuuuuuure

[–]ForgottenFork 0 points1 point ago

It's an animation and he still has a bad case of hover hand.

[–]CalmDownOverThere 0 points1 point ago

Is that.... Andre the Giant?

[–]jstewie88 0 points1 point ago

He looks just like me ex's brother. If that is him he is just trolling.

[–]Natural_One 0 points1 point ago

Some things are so sad they hurt. Its like watching an unloved child cuddle with a mannequin.

[–]DownWithRedTeam 0 points1 point ago

Post more!