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823
824

God's a dick (macromemeless.com)

submitted ago by TheHeirOfHope

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[–]SimilarImage 102 points103 points ago

Age User Title Reddit Cmnt Points
4 months dhusselbee What would you have done? here 334 1357
2 months cpennington God and Pokemon here 280 1002
2 months fznatla Dear God, WHY?! /r/pokemon 127 885

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[–]entbeard 19 points20 points ago

You're doing the lord's work Mr Bot.

[–]liverandfunyuns 3 points4 points ago

I don't want to tell anyone how to do their job, but I feel like... if I were gonna repost this, I'd at least fix the weird line breaks. And maybe pick a nice font. Like, I don't know, a garamond?

[–]liverandfunyuns 8 points9 points ago

Here, just. Just take it.

http://imgur.com/yShHz

[–]Average913 5 points6 points ago

I haven't seen compression like that since 1994.

[–]WeaselWizard 3 points4 points ago

No worries bro, I made it better.

http://i.imgur.com/Dlszn.jpg

[–]dunimal -1 points0 points ago

You sound like someone who has never seen God's greatest creation: Comic Sans.

[–]UltimateHipster 20 points21 points ago

To me, OP will always just be that guy who could have posted original and relevant content to the subreddit.

But instead was all like, nah man, Repost.

[–]Kadoc 1 point2 points ago

lold hard

[–]spunkyweazle 8 points9 points ago

After reading some of the creepypastas out there on Pokemon I think we got lucky with malaria.

[–]MyGuitarIsOnFire 16 points17 points ago

This was originally posted on r/pokemon and was the top post for like 20 hours, then it got an x-post here on r/atheism and was also a top post for a while. It isn't even a different font or arrangement, just a blatant repost.

[–]CODfiend 5 points6 points ago

Well, I had never seen it before and I quite enjoyed it. Perhaps that will make you feel better?

[–]servohahn 7 points8 points ago

Perhaps we should just freeze reddit as it is right now so that every person who has potentially not seen everything that has ever been posted to reddit has the same opportunity to see what we all saw today.

Or... or people can browse older popular content on reddit because that is a feature that is easily used on this website.

[–]ductaperecorder 12 points13 points ago

I'm no physicist so I could be wrong about this, but there are theories that suggest there are a potentially infinite number of parallel universes, and in order for there to be an infinite number of universes every single possibility has to be met in some universe. Including, but not limited to, a universe where Pokemon do exist in real life. So, assuming there is a god that created all of these universes the problem changes from a god that could have made Pokemon and didn't to a god that could have created you in a universe inhabited by Pokemon and didn't.

But again, I'm no physicist to I could be wrong about this.

[–]lawstudent2 38 points39 points ago

I have a degree in physics, and, sorry to say, this is platinum grade bullshit.

  1. Many worlds theory doesn't mean that there is another universe where it rains cotton candy and everyone has a personal unicorn. It's some pretty boring shit about how quantum mechanics works.

  2. Even if there are an infinite amount of universes, that in no way means that they resemble the incidental state of affairs on ours. The vast majority are probably just hydrogen clouds. And, from a purely mathematical point of view, it is 100% possible that literally every other universe is just a gas cloud -- infinite universes does not mean that every possibility will exist in some universe. Read up on countability. So, basically, you are thinking 'parallel' universes -- and there's no reason to believe those exist.

  3. The other universes actually cannot represent every possibility.. because then they wouldn't be universes. Or, at least, they wouldn't have anything interested in them. Read up on the fine structure constant

So, no, sadly, there are no universes where there are pokemon.

[–]chchrogers 43 points44 points ago

NICE TRY, PHYSICIST. NOW STOP HIDING THE POKEMON FROM ME.

[–]NiteShadeX2 7 points8 points ago

Then clearly physics has failed us, we must do it ourselves.

Quick, find trillions of dollars we can pump into genetic research.

[–]xeivous 2 points3 points ago

I found a small bowl of assorted change in US currency! Will it do?

[–]nermid 4 points5 points ago

So...I should quit building this gigantic machine to breach the barriers between universes and become a pokemon master?

Because I was like, 3/4 done already...

[–]sschmtty1 1 point2 points ago

no because like he said its just a theory so he could be wrong. GOTTA CATCHEM ALLLL!

[–]IDontHaveUsername 1 point2 points ago

It's some pretty boring shit about how quantum mechanics works.

How is that boring?! I think it's fucking awesome!!1

Edit: are you saying is boring to most of the people, or it's boring to you? if so how do you have a physics degree?

[–]DarqWolff 1 point2 points ago

infinite universes

vast majority

Not sure I understand that.

[–]DocAwkward 4 points5 points ago

Take a random sample of a handful of universes out of the bucket of infinite universes. There will only be a few out of your sample that make sense. The rest ( > 99%) will be a "hydrogen cloud" or some other random useless configuration.

[–]DarqWolff 0 points1 point ago

Holy shit... I thought I had a pretty good grasp on how infinity worked mathematically, but the concept of taking a specific set of random samples out of an infinite set and having them follow any sort of predictable breakdown is kinda mindblowing.

[–]Cloberella 0 points1 point ago

I am not a scientist, but I believe the really really simple way of looking at it is, even if there are "infinite universes" this would be "the one with life-supporting environments" and not "the one where 9/11 happened" or "the one where I had cornflakes for breakfast". Humans tend to have an absurdly inflated view of the role we play in the grand scheme of things (or the role life in general plays). There wouldn't be a universe for every mundane choice we make, as much as just the one where we even exist.

[–]ductaperecorder 2 points3 points ago

I've never met anyone with a physics degree that I could actually run this by so as soon as I read "I have a degree in physics" I got all giddy and excited. Thank you for correcting my obvious many mistakes. I kinda figured I was just talking out my ass. but never had a way to know for sure.

[–]lawstudent2 0 points1 point ago

Dude, big ups for having an imagination and curiosity.

If this sort of thing interests you, I highly, highly recommend this book, which is an easy read and it is like a conceptual mine-field: it will blow your mind constantly and unexpectedly.

Enjoy, dotcomrade.

[–]ductaperecorder 0 points1 point ago

Awesome, thanks! I just got a new E-reader and I've been looking for a new book to read so this is perfect.

[–]CertusAT 1 point2 points ago

infinite universes does not mean that every possibility will exist in some universe

I don't get it. If the number is truly infinite than yes, every possibility does exist.

If not,m could you explain how not?

[–]Smitty1017 1 point2 points ago

well you are omitting the fact that pokemon, or something very similar, could technically exist in this universe, and probably not doesn't mean not. although I agree with him, it doesn't mean they don't exist somewhere. But if they do, we'd never find them. Say, for arguments sake, there is a universe with a perfect copy of pikachu and it's a real living thing...now that in and of itself is a one in who knows how many chance..now add to that the chance that all the others exist and they can be trained to fight each other and never die and all the other pokemon bs. Infinate universes doesn't mean everything you can imagine exists somewhere. there could be infinite "hydrogen cloud" universes, as he put it. You probably already knew that though and im bad at detecting sarcasm..

[–]CertusAT 2 points3 points ago

No, infinite means that there is no end. If One variable is infinite that even if the chance is nearly infinite small it becomes practically guaranteed.

If you have 1 chance of getting things right (lets say guess a number between 0 and 9) your odds are 1 to 10.

Now if you have infinite chances your chance of getting it right eventually is 100%.

If you have to guess a number between 1 and 9e+9999999999999999999 but you have infinite chances, you will eventually get it right, guaranteed.

At least that is how I understand infinite. Now if my understanding is wrong could you lay out how it is wrong.

[–]tvtropesguy 1 point2 points ago

there are infinite numbers between 1 and 2. but there will be no numbers higher than 2 there.

[–]Squeekme 0 points1 point ago

mindfuck.

[–]CertusAT -1 points0 points ago

how does that translate to an infinite amount of universes?

afaik there is no limitations of how they will look. unlike the arbitrary limitation if infinite numbers between 1 and 2.

[–]tvtropesguy 2 points3 points ago

im just saying that infinity != infinite possibilities. and as such while there might be infinite universes, it is not therefore certain that a world of pokemon exists in any of them.

[–]CertusAT -2 points-1 points ago

I think you are underestimating "Infinity".

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]tvtropesguy 0 points1 point ago

maybe i am. but i think you're overestimating infinity to the extent that's possible.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]CertusAT -1 points0 points ago

(I don't want to come off as a know it all cause i obviously don't it is just easier for me to accept new information that contradicts the one i already have if you can show me the reason why it is wrong, thank you for the time you are investing)

My thesis is this:

If a single event has a chance greater than 0 ( lets say 1 to 101010101010 or something like that) than the chance of this event occurring will increase the more chances you give it.

So guessing the number between 1 and 101010101010 will become higher and higher the more attempts you get.

If you have an infinite amount of attempts, eventually, you will get it right guaranteed.

Of course every time you do this your chance of getting it right will still be the same chance you had at the start, individually those chances are still incredibly low, but if you add them all up, your chance of getting it right will increase ever so slightly and with an infinite amount of attempts your chance of succeeding eventually go's up to 100%

You might get it at the first try or at the second or it will take nearly, forever but infinity is so big, everything fits in it if there is a chance for it.

[–]ConcordApes 0 points1 point ago

Thank you. I am so tired of hearing this multiple universe bullshit that fulfils everyone's dream.

[–]Solkre 0 points1 point ago

Now I know why ICP doesn't want to talk to scientists. Bummer.

[–]minno 3 points4 points ago

It's not an accepted physics theory, since there is no evidence to justify it, but it's pretty popular with science fiction.

[–]Flynn58 1 point2 points ago

Well, there are theories of an infinite number of parallel universes, but they would simply be another universe, instead of being parallel (a mirror of our universe), but instead alternate.

[–]kingoflurk 1 point2 points ago

a universe... where every pokemon is shiny

[–]NiteShadeX2 4 points5 points ago

A universe where normal pokemon colors are rare. And a universe of nothing but MISSINGNO's. That universe was quickly consumed.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

A universe with nothing but missingnos? There is a hell...

[–]TI-994A 0 points1 point ago

Wait...maybe the infinite universes came about when God used the MISSINGNO trick on the universe!

[–]ductaperecorder 0 points1 point ago

If every pokemon was shiny that would make being shiny normal. It would be no different than if you were to find a normal pokemon in this universe, except after a while you'd want to blow your brains out just so you could stop hearing that chime sound they make every time you see them.

[–]IDontHaveUsername 1 point2 points ago

I just want a universe without religion, thanks.

[–]Owlsrule12 0 points1 point ago

There would be no way to prove it. Also I find the theory that there are entire separate, yet nearly identical groups of mass to our universe with slight differences to be quite illogical and unlikely. Then again, we're just on this tiny planet in the middle of nowhere.

[–]valentinking 0 points1 point ago

I'm no physicist, but i can tell you this, first of all, a parallel universe means that at a certain point of time, something changed from reality, creating another reality of it's own, thus logic still applies in all of them, making pokemons impossible. Second, who cares about parallel universes when it doesn't affect your own reality? It's to me a useless knowledge that does not differ from stories and fairy tales.

[–]Doc85 2 points3 points ago

So, apparently this image is worth about 500 karma, anytime someone decides to post it.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Doc85 0 points1 point ago

I stand corrected.

[–]Doctor_Clockwork 1 point2 points ago

I can personally guarantee you someone out there is figuring out how to perfect genetic modification and when they do how long do you honestly think it will take before someone thinks "Can i make a Pikachu".

[–]facetothedawn 1 point2 points ago

10000 up votes

[–]NotARedditer 1 point2 points ago

But god DID make Pokemon. Mewtwo is god.

[–]AnAngryPirate 1 point2 points ago

I don't care if it was a repost. Still gets me every time.

"nahh man, malaria"

[–]DNBsoldierLA 1 point2 points ago

I'm high.

[–]DoctorLost173 1 point2 points ago

Pokemon were created by man's imagination. (note: before the downvotes, by 'man' I mean human.) Of course God could have. But think, in Pokemon, people attack and harm creatures, capturing them and forcing them to fight til unconcious for their amusement.

Just sayin'.

[–]bluebroham 1 point2 points ago

When I first read this, I saw "nah man, marijuana".

"Well that's not so bad."

[–]Ramt_1 8 points9 points ago

Dammit! Every time I see a post I like, I go to the comments to praise it, and everyone's already like "FUKIN' REPOST!"

Well guess what bitches, it's new to me, and it made me laugh!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Yeah I'll ask you in 3 weeks again ok? Then you tell me how amusing this is after you've seen it 10 more times.

[–]JJJJhonkas 4 points5 points ago

Um, he kind of did make Pokeman real bro. Michael Vick got arrested for trying to catch them all...

But it's all good. They still play Pokeman for reals in Mexico with Roosters.

http://imgur.com/PvujM

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Pokemon would basically kill us.

Pokemon are much more powerful than us and we would be unable to kill them.

If we are unable to kill them, we would never be able to build large cities. If you don't have large cities, you can't have advanced technological progress that would create the pokeball.

If we are unable to kill them, they would have no fear of us, and we would be at constant war with them.

The people living in tribes would try to tame pokemon and weaponize them to use against other pokemon and other tribes.

But even the weaker pokemon would be impossible to tame/control. And the weakest pokemon you are able to tame, aren't even battle worthy.

If someone were to tame a charmander or charmeleon, after they get it to conquer and kill a bunch of people/pokemon, what's stopping it from turning on it's master?

[–]jzlebek 5 points6 points ago

worth it. Pokemon was the shit

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

We'd be living in fear of the pokemon.

Imagine if raccoons had flamethrowers at the end of their tails.

They wouldn't run away when they saw you coming.

[–]phenetix 0 points1 point ago

There are about 19,000 nuclear warheads in the world right now. Over 4,000 of them are active and ready to launch. You don't need to worry about pokemon.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

Imagine you're just strolling through the park and you see a pack of pikachus.

They see you and are startled and electrocute you and you're body is instantly exploded.

The odds of dying from a pokemon attack would be much higher than dying from a nuclear explosion.

[–]phenetix 1 point2 points ago

Lol... c'mon man, I feel stupid I have to say this. We're humans, we have guns, missiles, and chemical weapons. Pokemon aren't human and don't have rights, so we can wipe them off the face of this planet if we wanted.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

If we lived in a world where humans coexisted with pokemon, our ancestors would've never been able to develope the technology to built guns, missiles, or chemical weapons. We've only been able to develop that technology because no other species poses a threat to us. If there was an animal or pokemon that we couldn't kill, we wouldn't be able to live in villages or store food because the animal or pokemon would come in and destroy everything and pillage the food supplies.

If pokemon existed, they would stop society from progressing because they could destroy our cities and armies. Imagine an Articuno, Zapdos, Charizard, or Dragonite just flying through a major metropolitan city. Imagine if all we have to defend ourselves are spears and arrows.

If we couldn't defend ourselves with spears and arrows, we couldnt protect the cities. If we can't protect the cities, we can't protect the people inventing new weaponry and technology.

[–]Smitty1017 0 points1 point ago

you miss the point, pokemon (as we know them) do not die. they just get perpetually knocked out

[–]Serviceman 2 points3 points ago

"Pika pika -death to all humans".

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Voltage must be millions of volts for the electricity to arc like it does.

If pikachu shocked you...

you're body would instantly explode from the megavolts

[–]myrodia 4 points5 points ago

really dude? You're analyzing what would happen if pokemon were real? And you randomly base all of your assumptions off of the fact that they're able to kill us? Comon man, lighten up. And if you're unable to kill something why would you go to war? You'd just die. You don't even make sense in your critique of a hypothetical society using one random fact that isnt even defined.

[–]dunimal 0 points1 point ago

what's stopping it from turning on it's master?

Friendship. Fair play. Team work.

Clearly, you haven't been watching Pokemon lately. I have, it's the best part of having a 4 year old: getting to watch Pokemon for hours and hours again.

[–]Meercat9 0 points1 point ago

When I first read this, I interpreted it as being about Bill Gates. The guy has enough money to probably create pokemon, but instead decided to focus on finding a cure for malaria.

[–]The_D0PEST_D0PE 0 points1 point ago

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3poj0j/

[–]bigbrentos 0 points1 point ago

Am I the only one that thinks wild pokemon would be a rather devastating thing to our ecosystem? Mean, we'd have wild rats running around frying people to death with electricity, dragons in the sea swallowing ships, all sorts of paranormal ghost problems and psychic pokemon mindfucking the shit out of us.

[–]Freezykow 0 points1 point ago

I never get tired of this repost

[–]hellar420 0 points1 point ago

pikachu, polio close enough...

[–]truefire_ 0 points1 point ago

Have you never seen guinea pigs? They're just like Pika. Also, supposedly, evil is the result of the Devil corrupting God's perfect Creation. Just sayin'. If you're talking about the Christian God, at least know how He's described and what happened according to the only Book that describes Him.

[–]FrisianDude 0 points1 point ago

A Pokémon world would be so fucked up. Imagine sending a meowth to deal with a ratata infestation in your basement. Or eating miltank-burgers.

[–]forcedtolie 0 points1 point ago

Maybe he made animals for the sole purpose of filling the role of pokemon, but then we started to feast..

[–]proddy 0 points1 point ago

Yeah! Let's make animals fight!

It's totally a good idea to give a 10 year old access to superhumanly powerful creatures, potentially one that can control time and space itself.

[–]Menospan 0 points1 point ago

http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/21910497.jpg

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Fuck god fro creating weeaboos.

[–]whalekingpin 0 points1 point ago

god is a fucking dick, cause he took my musical talented best friend and gave her als, and then then made her get into a car accident go into a coma and lose her memory relive her fathers death and forget her favorite songs. FUCK YOU GOD.F!U!C!K! Y!O!U! G!O!D! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!

[–]Ghostwalker8 1 point2 points ago

I'm so sorry that happened to your friend. And I hope that her memories will eventually return. As for right now, it would be better if you focus your energy on being there for your friend. Know that there is no gods that are actively trying to hurt you or the people close to you, and know that you will be able to help out by just being there for her. I truely hope that things will get better soon.

[–]Squeekme 0 points1 point ago

God created man with free will. Satoshi Tajiri created Pokemon. God thought, "how could I have not thought of that?"

[–]Theodice 0 points1 point ago

The Theodicy problem.

[–]Nelsong98 0 points1 point ago

Are you saying I could have had a Charizard!?!?

[–]Solkre 0 points1 point ago

Pokemon is the same thing as dog fighting, you are both dicks!

[–]truefire_ 0 points1 point ago

Have you never seen guinea pigs? They're just like Pika. Also, supposedly, evil is the result of the Devil corrupting God's perfect Creation. Just sayin'. If you're talking about the Christian God, at least know how He's described and what happened according to the only Book that describes Him.

[–]Piratiko 0 points1 point ago

"I mean, I don't believe he exists, but he's a dick."

Makes perfect sense.

[–]Tlingit_Raven 0 points1 point ago

Holy shit, did I time machine back to 2005 or something?

[–]zahnno 0 points1 point ago

Pokemon are real... I mean, come on we got Eagle, Hippo, Lion, Dog, Walrus and so many more. Go now. all you pokemon master...go catch'em all. Then fight with the other pokemon at your local zoo to obtain a badge/restraining order for throwing an eagle at one of the trainers while screaming "WING ATTACK!".

[–]philotimon 0 points1 point ago

Nigger, either God exists or He doesn't. Pick one, and stay there. Maybe, Pokemon is real, and you're not deemed worthy, have you thought of that?

[–]Azai 0 points1 point ago

Just how this is phrased always gives me a chuckle.

[–]Sexytoss 0 points1 point ago

To me, god will always just be that guy who could have made original content. But instead was all like, nah man, reposts.

[–]Riku98523 0 points1 point ago

You know if pokemon were real we'd all be disgusted by the obvious animal abuse and it'd probably be banned.

[–]JayHay23 -1 points0 points ago

LOL

[–]Affinity2412 -1 points0 points ago

This is, like, the fourth time I've seen this here in 6 months. lol

[–]martymcflyer -1 points0 points ago

Yeah make dog fighting for kids real.

[–]johnny107 -1 points0 points ago

If Pokemon were real, the world would be way more dangerous then it is with malaria.

I mean, these are creatures that can breathe fire and shit.

[–]zacrd12345 -1 points0 points ago

I'm sorry, but I get a little peeved when the same pick is posted for the upteenth time. Sure it's funny. No one is doubting that. But the real world equivalent of repost would be like someone taking a picture of the Mona Lisa and putting it up for auction claiming it was their idea. Don't cheapen the original by whoring pics out for the sake of upvotes. Come on people. We are better than that.

[–]kinuman93 -1 points0 points ago

I have a friend who always says this. I'm sorry but this is a repost I cannot forgive.

[–]Riku98523 -1 points0 points ago

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG It's not reposted as often as some but it's still reposted more than most.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]WhoCares_about_Karma -3 points-2 points ago

If God is a dick, that means he must exist.

Christians: Eternal Salvation Athiests: Hell

Checkmate

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