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top 200 commentsshow all 370

[–]SpartacusAlpha 329 points330 points ago

That's hilarious but he;s playing defense and your joke doesn't work.

[–]DreadPiratesRobert 134 points135 points ago

I often yell I am open when playing defense, occasionally it works!

[–]FloobLord 81 points82 points ago

I hate you.

[–]DreadPiratesRobert 23 points24 points ago

I love you too

[–]dkesh 19 points20 points ago

Don't you mean "As you wish..."

[–]DreadPiratesRobert 27 points28 points ago

[–]Mr_Wolfgang_Beard 7 points8 points ago

10 months. Checks out

[–]DreadPiratesRobert 10 points11 points ago

I actually rarely use this as a novelty account, this is just normally my username

[–]ComebackShane 1 point2 points ago

I really like that it's the DreadPiratesRobert, like Attorneys General.

[–]kingproz 10 points11 points ago

haha get owned

[–]jbsg02 106 points107 points ago

Manute Bol?

[–]baconistic 74 points75 points ago

I knew him in real life just before he died. He helped a charity group in my High school raise money to build safe protective schools in the Darfur region of Sudan. He was a genuinely passionate and great guy. We did succeed. BTW.

[–]LenBias34 16 points17 points ago

RIP Manute.

[–]elcucuuuy 27 points28 points ago

I felt sorry for the guy because he wasn't taken that serious. He was paired with muggsy bogues as a side show for the bullets to sell tickets.

[–]jason2li 55 points56 points ago

Dude got rich though... And then, according to baconistic, he used his fame (and probably money) to help children in Sudan. Sounds like he had his priorities straight. RIP Manute Bol.

[–]Omar_Skittle 18 points19 points ago

Fairly sure he used just about every dollar he had to help those kids too, seriously i think he went broke mostly due to his charitableness.

[–]fish500 12 points13 points ago

He also coined the slang phrase of "my bad" - which is pretty cool too.

[–]blankey2 5 points6 points ago

Honestly, I think that's from the Latin phrase "mea culpa."

[–]cadencehz 19 points20 points ago

Right. Next you're going to tell me there was some Latin phrase with a meaning similar to YOLO.

[–]Alew22 5 points6 points ago

lol. ^ icwudt

[–]foolish-rain 1 point2 points ago

Carpe die... wait a minute--you already knew that, didn't you?

The above is a reenactment of how I earned my daily beating on the playground through most of elementary school.

[–]blankey2 2 points3 points ago

heh.

[–]jasontimmur 5 points6 points ago

He died poor thanks to our privatized insurance system, his giving nature, and a car accident that broke his neck.

[–]guttata 1 point2 points ago

According to Wikipedia the car accident was 6 years before his death and attributed to acute kidney failure.

Edit: Derp. You meant the accident contributed to his poverty. Nevermind.

[–]BradfordTheFat 7 points8 points ago

Along with seemingly every NBA player that grew up in Africa. Dikembe Mutumbo, Luol Deng, Serge Ibaka, Hakeem Olajuwon all had/have big time charities over there. Great players and even better people.

[–]7zark77 2 points3 points ago

Luol Deng was born in Sudan, but he grew up in London and plays for Great Britain. He does have a charity, though - and also does a lot of charity work in Brixton, the London neighbourhood he grew up in #justsayingbecauseheistheonlygoodplayergreatbritainhas

[–]jasontimmur 15 points16 points ago

In July 2004, Bol was seriously injured in a car accident, breaking his neck, when he was ejected from a taxi that hit a guardrail and overturned. The driver had a suspended license and was driving under the influence.[26] Because his fortunes were mostly donated to Sudan, he was in financial ruins because he had no life insurance or health insurance.

I feel more sorry for him now. That fucking sucks.

[–]Timmyp17 9 points10 points ago

He also played with Spud Webb in the USBL's Rhode Island Gulls

[–]mocotazo 4 points5 points ago

As a kid I remember seeing him on the Arsenio Hall Show about halfway through his career. Seems like the only thing I really remember him for throughout his NBA career was throwing a ball at a ref.

[–]ABPositive03 6 points7 points ago

Dude could hit 3 pointers too - almost no arc to his shot. There's a youtube montage of him making 3's and it's a weird thing to watch.

[–]mocotazo 4 points5 points ago

[–]SammyD1st 2 points3 points ago

I like how the player he's "stuffing" in a bunch of those is... Jordan.

[–]aspbergerinparadise 1 point2 points ago

that part at about 0:34 where he blocks 4 shots in a row is supremely impressive.

[–]speedofart 1 point2 points ago

[–]MisderMouse 2 points3 points ago

That was who I thought it looked like.

[–]egus 1 point2 points ago

yup

[–]cadencehz 1 point2 points ago

[–]malaclypse 1 point2 points ago

"...take your choice of any of three ships - The Majestic King, The Royal Majesty, or the new Fiesta Royale - all three ships have Manute bol."

"I'll be there."

"He'll be there."

[–]Endlessman 247 points248 points ago

SLENDERMAN.

[–]JedenTag 70 points71 points ago

Enderman.

[–]ipointoutyouridiocy 9 points10 points ago

haaah!

[–]jcvogt12 10 points11 points ago

[–]black4ty 4 points5 points ago

What IS that??

[–]Maybe_Jesus 24 points25 points ago

I can assure you that it isn't Jesus

[–]jimbob320 1 point2 points ago

Thanks for the clarification.

[–]black4ty 1 point2 points ago

lol what the fuck

[–]dieselnut[!] 9 points10 points ago

Say what you will, the only thing I know is that I'm scared of spiders and this picture terrified me.

[–]merlin3528 10 points11 points ago

Damn you, that was my first thought.

[–]perroman8698 9 points10 points ago

Wasn't it everyone's?

[–]knuckLeNT 15 points16 points ago

nah, my first thought was, "wait, he is on defense...."

[–]ISeeYouuu 357 points358 points ago

"Having quietly arrived and observed the human race for centuries, they slowly integrated their young to every ethnicity and culture in every part of the world. Our eyes, blind to their true being; conditioned through years of film and entertainment to expect grey or green men with short statures, oval faces and dark menacing eyes. They were seen as feats of human evolutionary possibility. They worked their way into our consciousness using the most visible industries, honing their presence into the norms of society by reaching out to those most easily susceptible, the children. They were exalted, glorified and worshiped. Having steadily amassed fortunes and using it to sway influence, they took up power and commanding positions. We were so complacent to all the clues around us, so drunk on our awe, their talent and fame, that when the day came for the plan to be unfurled, when we finally woke up to the real nature of the "tall men", we were left empty and vulnerable; impotent as a species. Some of us were spared, most, well, most, they live among the stars now. Soon I will too."

Tl;dr

[–]your_favorite_human 100 points101 points ago

Have an upvote for the effort of writing that much and not getting any upvotes. Didn't read it though.

[–]ISeeYouuu 11 points12 points ago

Aww, aren't you just a sweetie-pie. Didn't mean to write so much, totally just got caught up in my own story. Upvote for your upvote.

[–]your_favorite_human 15 points16 points ago

Read it after all. Worth it.

[–]nonotmenever 15 points16 points ago

Your username makes this conversation scary.

[–]Erik_TheHighlander 3 points4 points ago

nowkiss.jpg

[–]Oquaem 7 points8 points ago

Don't get on the ship! The title- "To Serve Man"- it's a COOK BOOK!

[–]ISeeYouuu 7 points8 points ago

or

  • "How to cook humans"
  • "How to cook for humans"
  • "How to cook forty humans"
  • "How to cook for forty humans"

[–]Eats_Beef_Steak 2 points3 points ago

I remember that episode! Twilight zone is the shit.

[–]pixeldorff 2 points3 points ago

Yes,well done.

[–]StewieBanana 2 points3 points ago

Your comment plus the post reminded me of this song.

[–]Timmyp17 13 points14 points ago

[–]docfunbags 29 points30 points ago

No thanks. I'm waiting for the Evil Manute Bol gallery.

[–]NathanA01 12 points13 points ago

His leg to shorts ratio is decidedly in favor of his legs.

[–]Shlayg 10 points11 points ago

A repost with reposted comments

[–]Kakarot_Goku 36 points37 points ago

You do realize that the tall black dude is in the other team right?

[–]the_cowboy 31 points32 points ago

What tall black guy?

[–]unholymackerel 6 points7 points ago

I hate these pictures. I was looking for the penis.

[–]Blahblag12321 32 points33 points ago

He is still open, is he not?

[–]DrDWayneLove 3 points4 points ago

The other team of the anonymous narrator?

[–]Chocolateyummyness 21 points22 points ago

Is it just me or does he look like a giant spider that's missing a couple arms...?

[–]Tokugawa 74 points75 points ago

[–]el_pinata 10 points11 points ago

I don't think I'm ever going to sleep again.

[–]synthion 3 points4 points ago

[–]Radevel 1 point2 points ago

I thought this, too!

[–]dirtymartini74 8 points9 points ago

He reminds me of one of those water strider insects....

[–]morewubwub 6 points7 points ago

hes playing defence...

[–]zedlord 2 points3 points ago

24 looks like he is missing a hand.

[–]N2tZ 2 points3 points ago

To me it looked like 24 was stabbing 10 with his hand.

[–]hreser90 12 points13 points ago

[–]jpiglet 6 points7 points ago

It's Manute Bol if you were interested. He was 7' 7".

[–]dogismyname2 7 points8 points ago

And 4" wide.

[–]no_name_racer 2 points3 points ago

I didnt know the movie The Legion was based on a true story.

[–]uncommitted 2 points3 points ago

And another.

[–]Talkgibberish 2 points3 points ago

[–]kleptobizmol 2 points3 points ago

He's on defense. Why would the point guard pass to him?

[–]urmymom145 2 points3 points ago

Black slendermen with a face

[–]lonestarbeer 4 points5 points ago

this exact same photo was posted what, 3 days ago?

[–]marsredux 2 points3 points ago

When I first saw this it brought back nightmares of the spider vampires from Legacy of Kain : Soul Reaver.

[–]thomasj222444 1 point2 points ago

OF COURSE YOU'RE OPEN, YOU'RE PLAYING DEFENSE.

[–]mrwoolery 1 point2 points ago

Close Encounters of the Third Kind

[–]360walkaway 1 point2 points ago

Stretch Armstrong, black guy edition!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

"I got a crime record longer than Manute Bol" - Big L

[–]ipointoutyouridiocy 1 point2 points ago

fuck sake - what's that movie where the crazy elongated icecream man demon grows his limbs and goes for the people in the diner?

That's all I could think of.

[–]EminGH 1 point2 points ago

He's on defense, silly condom.

[–]cpumatt 1 point2 points ago

This mother fucker doesn't even have to jump to dunk...

[–]koshercowboy 1 point2 points ago

how is it even basketball for men that tall, as much as it's "i guess i'll just traipse over to this hollow netted hamper and drop this ball in."?

edit: example

[–]avanasear 1 point2 points ago

I was about to put a black joke until I saw that it was Manute Bol. Rip Manute.

[–]MDamped360 1 point2 points ago

IRL Enderman

[–]apullin 1 point2 points ago

http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/us7w3/just_playin_a_little_defense/

http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/uqr9f/manute_bol/

It looks like Trojan_Wombat is a serial reposter. Probably part of an account swarm.

[–]MrBaldwick 1 point2 points ago

It's the fucking Slenderman!

[–]GiveEmTheClamps 1 point2 points ago

My husband and I have been on a Manute Bol kick recently because the man is a scary monster. Here are some examples

[–]lebowskisweater 1 point2 points ago

[–]bugzrrad 1 point2 points ago

wait a Manute... that guy looks familiar

[–]dDavidb 1 point2 points ago

RUN!!! SLENDER MAN HAS FOUND US!!

[–]Fidgetstic 4 points5 points ago

Manute Bol banged your mom.

[–]OtisTheZombie 1 point2 points ago

Number 22 looks like Adam from Workaholics.

[–]fatpplarehard2kidnap 1 point2 points ago

New reddit protocol, if it has a new title it isn't a repost.

[–]clphtitld 2 points3 points ago

Repost

[–]Pedo_Spider -1 points0 points ago

Somehow him being black makes this so much more terrifying... No racism

[–]Propolandante 7 points8 points ago

I'm afraid of black people, but I'm not racist

ftfy

[–]woodycanuck 5 points6 points ago

Seriously, some of my best friends are racist.

[–]JustJoey 8 points9 points ago

He's always open

Waiting

for you

[–]VoodooIdol 0 points1 point ago

But the opposing team has the ball...

[–]fora-mejora 0 points1 point ago

Correction!

The kid in question is defending, and therefore, is not "open".

[–]palparepa 0 points1 point ago

Kill it with fi... oh, it's a person.

[–]some_random_noob 0 points1 point ago

but hes on defence, so how is he open exactly?

[–]SkateboardG 0 points1 point ago

[–]BLACKdrew 0 points1 point ago

Slenderman?

[–]jcdes 0 points1 point ago

This is what I imagined the Skinner to look like

[–]07734 0 points1 point ago

Marfans?

[–]stupernan 0 points1 point ago

he's on defense...

[–]nepidae 0 points1 point ago

Good news everybody.

[–]jericho2291 0 points1 point ago

'Nuff people say, you know they can't believe, Ethiopia, we have a basketball team.

[–]wirsteve 0 points1 point ago

RIP

[–]ZennistMenace 0 points1 point ago

He looks just like that alien at the end of Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

[–]aboganza 0 points1 point ago

shoot, he was 7'7" and 200 lbs

[–]Lkalcik 0 points1 point ago

I don't think I could ever handle someone that tall. I would feel like someone was hovering over me.

[–]LoonieBun 0 points1 point ago

He reminds me of the Queen from James Cameron's Aliens.

[–]NoSubrannke 0 points1 point ago

[–]Stomo 0 points1 point ago

fake; not enough black guys on the basketball team

[–]koshercowboy 2 points3 points ago

i don't think it's a pro team ;)

[–]rawr_i_am_girl 0 points1 point ago

He's on defense...

[–]Caziban 0 points1 point ago

If the slenderman decided to disguise himself as a human, this would be his disguise.

[–]frownifdown 0 points1 point ago

He's playing defen... oh, everyone in the world beat me to it.

[–]Guesty_ 0 points1 point ago

Endermen are real!

[–]bralph82 0 points1 point ago

shitty title for a cool dude's pic.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I'd be so scared to accidently break his bones... He looks very fragile.

[–]efranco12 0 points1 point ago

Is this a home game at the univ of bridgeport? Its weird seeing my school on reddit..

[–]clowning_around 0 points1 point ago

Holy Black Knight!

[–]BarackPutin 0 points1 point ago

Literally open, the player next to him has his hand going through him.

[–]seiffer55 0 points1 point ago

Just make sure you don't look him in the eye. He'll chase you with blocks of dirt.

[–]johnlnash 0 points1 point ago

By Odin's beard that man is tall!

[–]AnIrrelevantElephant 0 points1 point ago

I dont know why but some friends and I looked him up the other day and although he was 7'7", dude only weighed 200 POUNDS

[–]BCsprfn87 0 points1 point ago

Minute Bowl..

[–]nerdstrap 0 points1 point ago

Oh how I miss those sexy short shorts :'(

[–]Oideron 0 points1 point ago

Slenderman!

[–]factoid_ 0 points1 point ago

Wow...his torso and head look appropriately sized for a really tall person (somewhere between 6'6" and 7')...but his arms and legs are just freakishly out of proportion.

[–]renuf 0 points1 point ago

You may be open, but imgur isn't. Can someone who remembers tell me what's going on in the picture?

[–]eggynutmuf 0 points1 point ago

He's like the slender man of basketball.

[–]AdamAtlanta 0 points1 point ago

Fun fact he had more shot blocks than shot attempts in his NBA career.

[–]NotoriousBRU 0 points1 point ago

when I clicked this I was expecting a picture of #6

[–]Ctbx711 0 points1 point ago

He's open not just because he's tall as shit... But also because he's on defense....

[–]Toxette 0 points1 point ago

Slenderman! D8

[–]jxj24 0 points1 point ago

"When you see it..."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

i think thats the fuckin guy who keeps moving blocks around at my castle.

[–]SportzTawk 0 points1 point ago

Is it wrong that the first thing I pictured was a stick-bug

[–]Famous1107 0 points1 point ago

Stop linking screen caps from Close Encounters

[–]tisnolie 0 points1 point ago

This is Manute Bol playing for the Purple Knights of the University of Bridgeport in Connecticut.

[–]BallsackTBaghard 0 points1 point ago

Black Slenderman?

[–]ScanExam 0 points1 point ago

[–]Phrea 0 points1 point ago

Wow, that's a human stick insect.

[–]mvazzz 0 points1 point ago

Slenderman is real?!

[–]atonyatlaw 0 points1 point ago

Wasn't this on the front page within just the last week?

[–]JusticeChicken 0 points1 point ago

I'm just trying to figure out what's going on here.

[–]TheElusiveTrout 0 points1 point ago

Slender Man.

[–]Jsizzles93 0 points1 point ago

other than the fact that he is playing defense, yeah...he's wide open

[–]dickspace 0 points1 point ago

FALSE!

He isn't playing on offense in this pic, so he wouldn't be calling for the ball.

[–]MadMonk67 0 points1 point ago

The aliens have bred with us!

[–]hiphophippopotamus 0 points1 point ago

I think I saw this on Futurama.

[–]Ivansworld 0 points1 point ago

slendermen are known to love sports

[–]piezeppelin 0 points1 point ago

As a straight man, I wonder how big his penis is.

[–]BilisknerPL 0 points1 point ago

NOPE

[–]SlibIsSandwich 0 points1 point ago

That enderman is going to steal the ball

[–]SweatpantsDV 0 points1 point ago

RIP Manute Bol

[–]dirtysteve74 0 points1 point ago

Here's me with Mr. Bol (your right, his left). Hung out with him all night (he drank Heineken, if anyone cares). Great guy. We discussed his celeb boxing match with The refrigerator Perry. http://imgur.com/glNLM

Edit: I'm 6'3" for reference.

[–]BloodyIron 0 points1 point ago

I bet he is very prone to broken bones D:

Do not envy

[–]Anonymousdave69 0 points1 point ago

HOLY AFRICAN WOLF SPIDER

[–]Suckmydongha 0 points1 point ago

i lol'd

[–]Spaturno 0 points1 point ago

Damn enderman, don't look at him...

[–]ChernobylSlim 0 points1 point ago

[–]sharpey95 0 points1 point ago

he looks like a spider

[–]snowlion13 0 points1 point ago

daddy longlegs

[–]landophant 0 points1 point ago

/rWTF?

[–]dud908 0 points1 point ago

AAH! ITS THE SLENDER MAN!

[–]dud908 0 points1 point ago

AAH! SLENDER MAN!

[–]AnonUhNon 0 points1 point ago

This belongs in /r/wtf

[–]Billy_Chaos 0 points1 point ago

[–]jwalsh88 0 points1 point ago

This should be posted in /r/Slender_Man

[–]sdhofste 0 points1 point ago

I am The Dark Knight

[–]bagley2010 0 points1 point ago

He's on defense....

[–]sudo_free_cake 0 points1 point ago

Slenderman, the high school years

[–]Kilo__ 0 points1 point ago

Whoa, Endermen play Basketball?

[–]Tebasaki 0 points1 point ago

Looks like slenderman in high school.