this post was submitted on
940 points (54% like it)
5,694 up votes 4,754 down votes
shortlink:

gaming

subscribe1,974,877 readers

7,251 users here now

Beware of trading scammers!

A subreddit for anything related to games (but not sports). "Related" means that posts must contain gaming-related content in the link/post body, not just a "forced" connection via the title or a caption added to the content.

"Generic" image macros/memes (where the character itself is not related to gaming) like Scumbag Steve, Good Guy Greg, etc. will be removed. Something that "reminds you of a game", or "looks like something from a game" is also not an appropriate submission.

Other Gaming Subreddits

Posting Rules

  • Following Reddiquette is encouraged

  • No Kickstarter, Steam Greenlight, et al. "reminder" posts. Submissions about new projects or major updates to existing ones are allowed.

  • Spoilers can be posted using the following formatting:
    [X Kills Y](/spoiler)
    Result: X Kills Y.

  • To mark a spoiler as relevant to a specific game/topic, use the alternate formatting:
    [Player 1 wins](/spoiler "Pong")
    Result:
    Player 1 wins

  • Report posts containing spoilers not using the above method

  • Don't post users' personal information.

Submission Rules

Is your post not showing up? Do not delete it, wait 5 minutes to give AutoModerator a chance to look at it, it approves most submissions automatically. If it hasn't shown up after more than 5 minutes, simply message the moderators and ask us to let it through.

  1. Hey! Listen! /r/gaming is for anything related to gaming! Check out /r/Games for more informative gaming content!
a community for
to anything interesting: news article, blog entry, video, picture...
message the moderators

MODERATORS

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

939
940

Sums up an early 1990's argument... (25.media.tumblr.com)

submitted ago by OrtizKid

top 200 commentsshow all 209
sorted by:
best
best
top
new
hot
controversial
old

[–]WARGLBARGL 294 points295 points ago

was the argument over how promiscuous peach is?

[–]somethingsomethingso 169 points170 points ago

I don't think there was every any questions about that.

[–]minutman 84 points85 points ago

Just ask Bowser.

[–]Sea-Salt 98 points99 points ago

The 9 children of Bowser had to come from somewhere...

[–]Anofles 128 points129 points ago

In Super Mario Sunshine after Bowser Jr. called her his mother, she had to think about it.

She had to think about it.

[–]MationMac 7 points8 points ago

Link to video?

In the end of the game Bowser tells Jr. that she isn't the mother.

If somebody came up to me and told me it's my son, i'd start thinking too.

[–]gameguy285 3 points4 points ago

but the point is that if she had to think about it then she must have had sex with bowser prior, because if she had never had sex with him she would know immediately that she wasn't really the mother. but then again bowser is evil so he could have just been raping her every time he captured her and they kept it on the down low. then again again its a video game and nothing has to make sense.

[–]MationMac 1 point2 points ago

OR she could wonder why Jr. would think she's the mother. There are multiple explanations, I don't think Nintendo is going to go full beastiality.

[–]gameguy285 -1 points0 points ago

i just don't think they gave enough of a fuck to elaborate. they just needed to throw in some sort of story line so you could end the game, and they just came up with a random reason for Jr. kidnapping Peach. i think they were a lot more worried about the gameplay than some baby mama drama.

[–]XenonOdyssey 14 points15 points ago

"That is, she knew she had banged Bowser, gotten pregnant and abandoned a child at some point, but just needed to know that this was that kid."

[–]GreedoNeverShot1 8 points9 points ago

That article is wrong, like most Cracked articles. Bowser Jr.'s mom is not Peach. Beat Super Mario Sunshine and you will unlock the ending that explains this.

Here is the link.

[–]XenonOdyssey 2 points3 points ago

Of course the article is wrong on that front; obviously there is no way Peach is the mother and it's kind of embarassing on Nintendo's end that they had to clarify that in the ending. It's more about the reaction Peach had when Bowser Jr. exclaimed that she was his mother, since a simple 'No, I don't think so' would have been enough.

Also, who takes things literally from a Cracked article, especially one based on events from a universe based on a video game franchise?

[–]cactus 2 points3 points ago

For anyone who's curious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jCB_WX6hLU#t=17m25s

[–]CushtyJVftw 1 point2 points ago

How has that user made 1845 videos using a phone as recording software? I don't understand...

[–]amazingGOB 0 points1 point ago

and yet his video only has 16 views...

[–]jklantern 3 points4 points ago

Actually, I was going to use this for a fanfic idea (I really need to actually write some of these at some point), but put my own little twist on it. Actually, several.

Hint: When Baby Bowser calls her "mom", her response is slight confusion that BOWSER'S his father.

EDIT: Then again, some ideas are probably better just in my head, no?

EDIT2: It's not a pornfic idea, I swear. Rise and fall of nations sort of deal.

EDIT3: Basically, the Koopalings aren't Bowser's children, they're his nephews and nieces. And Bowser wasn't even supposed to be the one on the throne: one of his elder brothers was. Bowser didn't even want the job. At some point well before the first Mario game, the Mushroom Kingdom and the Koopa Domains come into contact, attempt to make peace, things are going well, but Toad (or Toadsworth or some important muckety muck in the Mushroom Kingdom) and one of Bowser's family member make a deal that results in the incumbent King of the Koopa Kingdom being assassinated (without picking a proper heir to the throne). This leads to big ugly Civil War in the Koopa Kingdom and war with the Mushroom Kingdom. Now, during this time, Princess Peach is young, as is Ludwig von Koopa (who would be the next in line for the throne, but doesn't actually want it either). Somehow, during the course of all this, they fall in love, and things better not mentioned happen. Long story short, Bowser Jr is the key to peace between the Mushroom Kingdom and the Koopa Kingdom, if only some enemies in both courts would stop messing things up.

[–]Killer_Brig 1 point2 points ago

You should do it.

[–]jklantern 0 points1 point ago

Been having trouble getting myself motivated to write, but I've got several fanfic ideas in my head for some strange reason.

You'd think that Ludwig would be my favorite Koopaling based on how I set this up, but actually, Lemmy and Roy are.

[–]Killer_Brig 1 point2 points ago

You, I like the way you think. Keep it up.

[–]lisabadcat 1 point2 points ago

Actually, I was going to use this for a fanfic idea

That's as far as I cared to read...

[–]amazingGOB 1 point2 points ago

Never understood the whole fanfic thing either...

[–]minutman 0 points1 point ago

She had to think HARD about it.

[–]minutman 20 points21 points ago

No shit...........

[–]Glass-of-Water 5 points6 points ago

And thus, the childhood has been slain as the realization emerges, axe in hand.

[–]roflwaffle666 0 points1 point ago

Fuck, there goes my childhood.

[–]LukaCola 0 points1 point ago

Or the computer in super paper mario.

[–]rajonmondo 6 points7 points ago

I can still only imagine Sonic's voice as Jaleel White's after his premature ejaculation: "DID I DOOOO THATTTT?"

Not even the masterpiece that was the Sonic the Hedgehog movie can dispel that grating voice from my head.

Peach's voice is Laura Winslow's? "Go home, Sonic. Go home, go home, go home!"

Sonic: I don't have to take this. I'm going home.

[–]Bnoob 1 point2 points ago

Sonic the Hedgehog movie?! this is the first time I've seen someone else who has actually heard of it. I was beginning to suspect that I dreamt it up.

[–]Sea-Salt 3 points4 points ago

I didn't think it was something so obscure, at least not to the older fans. Though it may be a bit unknown to younger folks, as it was released back in '99 (well, over here at least). But, see this, Japan? THIS is how you make a Sonic anime!! None of this crap with a kid taking the focus! Just, Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles kickin' some ass across one freakin' epic-looking planet.

[–]rajonmondo 1 point2 points ago

Haha, glad I was able to document it with actual evidence. Maybe people will look at us a little less funny now when we bring it up.

[–]spreadeaglebeagle 0 points1 point ago

No. No one has ever argued against that. Mario has taken so many psychedelics that he's completely lost touch with reality, so you can't blame her for looking for solace in other guys. How would you feel if the person you were seeing constantly thought they were being chased by giant turtles and walking turds?

[–]therightclique 0 points1 point ago

She wasn't called Peach in the early 90s.

[–]TheCons 189 points190 points ago

The correct scene would have Peach running out of the house with her snatch on fire.

[–]DerpMatt 114 points115 points ago

gotta go fast

[–]dragoneye 1 point2 points ago

Mario is such a llama.

[–]DerpMatt -1 points0 points ago

Yea. Hung like one.

load more comments (1 reply)

    [–]SilverSick 74 points75 points ago

    But when Mario eats a mushroom, he gets BIG!

    [–]bigsaks5 15 points16 points ago

    In Sonic's defense: he probably forgot his cock ring.

    [–]jimb3rt -1 points0 points ago

    Well Shadow wouldn't lend him his inhibitor ring.

    [–]Apostolate 14 points15 points ago

    Oh no, now I'm going to see penis enhancement ads on youporn about "this one natural supplement Mario endorses for a HUGE DICK".

    [–]ublaa 13 points14 points ago

    "The one weird secret to big dicks the Mushroom Kingdom doesn't want you to know"

    [–]Apostolate 9 points10 points ago

    "Need a 1UP for your DICK?"

    [–]big_dicked_brad 4 points5 points ago

    I FEEL COMFORTABLE HERE

    [–]SuperMarioBro -1 points0 points ago

    My name is Mario and I am not sure how i feel about this..

    [–]MadModderX 2 points3 points ago

    As soon as he hits something he loses it.

    If he falls in he's as good as dead.

    Sometimes he can't go in the pipe.

    When he gets a flower his balls are on fire.

    After he's deflowered he shrinks.

    The list goes on and on...

    [–]Chrispy52x2006 99 points100 points ago

    Just to be that guy, that's newer Sonic - not early 90's Sonic.

    [–]ConnerMK 83 points84 points ago

    90's Sonic has short hair and is a bit overweight.

    [–]Gyossaits 47 points48 points ago

    He's not fat! His stomach is just constantly doing a spin dash.

    [–]Trogdorocks 34 points35 points ago

    It's all those chili dogs.

    [–]Gyossaits 8 points9 points ago

    B-but! "Gotta speed, keed!"

    KEED.

    [–]Sonic_Dah_Hedgehog 0 points1 point ago

    I still can't believe that Jaleel White (aka Steve Urkel) was the voice of Sonic.

    [–]iLLmatic_D_indo 28 points29 points ago

    Also black eyes. This sonic has green eyes just like modern sonic

    [–]Chrispy52x2006 8 points9 points ago

    And has black eyes.

    [–]Dr_Wareman 1 point2 points ago

    But, I think homing attack is just a bit more suited to the situation than spin dash. Shudder

    [–]Liararchy 87 points88 points ago

    Hahaha. . .bestiality!

    [–]Daigotsu 13 points14 points ago

    Isn't peach a fungus though?

    [–]jader1 17 points18 points ago

    She's a peach.

    [–]DillPixel 10 points11 points ago

    I can eat a peach for hours...

    [–]Kerrigore 5 points6 points ago

    Millions of peaches, peaches for me.

    [–]GeoffPortnoy 1 point2 points ago

    In reference to Face/Off.

    Nicolas Cage Approves this message.

    [–]decross20 0 points1 point ago

    im gonna take his face.... Off. You're gonna take his face.... Off? Yeah, I'm gonna take his face.... Off.

    [–]GeoffPortnoy 0 points1 point ago

    No more drugs for THAT man!

    [–]duhduhduhduhduh 0 points1 point ago

    She's plant genitalia.

    [–]SWE420 14 points15 points ago

    im glad someone said it hahahaa

    [–]DroolingIguana 39 points40 points ago

    He should've went with Samus. She likes it when you finish quickly.

    [–]Gurgy 9 points10 points ago

    The faster you go the more her suit overheats. She has to take off more of it to cool down at the end... Yeah, let's go with that.

    [–]flexiblecoder 6 points7 points ago

    Took me a second to get that. Well played.

    [–]ModernRonin 0 points1 point ago

    Yeah, about Samus...

    [–]2th 11 points12 points ago

    Sometimes you just gotta go fast.

    [–]Dammit_Rab 3 points4 points ago

    Gotta go faster

    [–]BroganTheBoss 3 points4 points ago

    Gotta go stronger

    [–]DefinitelyADoctor 0 points1 point ago

    Gotta go better

    [–]KyrieAien 3 points4 points ago

    Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.

    [–]Steelkite -1 points0 points ago

    He is faster than Mario. Everything else he sucks at

    [–]perrbear 11 points12 points ago

    Where does sonic keep his dick.

    [–]cpnHindsight 25 points26 points ago

    Prick's on the back, duh.

    [–]nepidae 9 points10 points ago

    Take the mushroom to get bigger.

    [–]Niklink 15 points16 points ago

    I have seen this exact same joke made several different times by several different people and cartoonists that think that they are being clever. Jesus Christ.

    [–]danfinlay 8 points9 points ago

    Earlier this week someone did it with The Flash, it was on the frontpage.

    [–]supguvnah 4 points5 points ago

    Similar to the Flash in bed yesterday.

    [–]HoundDawg3 4 points5 points ago

    Old, old repost. Still funny all the same xD

    [–]chumppi 4 points5 points ago

    Really? This has +1000? Pic is so old O_o

    [–]Jamie_W 85 points86 points ago

    Did people really argue over who was faster? I don't remember that.

    Sonic is fast. Mario was in the good games.

    That's how I remember it.

    [–]gadios 29 points30 points ago

    The argument was just who was better. Overall

    [–]cpnHindsight 29 points30 points ago

    Except Mario never actually got with princess.

    [–]snoharm 17 points18 points ago

    I feel like that had all the elements of comedy but funny.

    [–]ShoriErise 14 points15 points ago

    Well, it is Seth MacFarlane.

    [–]RiskyChris 4 points5 points ago

    Two people furrowing their brow and exchanging trite, boring quips.

    [–]Tyler1851 57 points58 points ago

    Sonic 1-3, knuckles, and sonic cd were good games.

    [–]d0nkeyb0ner 35 points36 points ago

    Sonic 3 & Knuckles (combined) is one of my favorite games of all time.

    I'm pretty sure that's partially bias and nostalgia talking, but damn if that wasn't a great game.

    [–]TheGullibleParrot 20 points21 points ago

    Nope, it was an amazing game.

    [–]Dr_Wareman 2 points3 points ago

    Super emeralds. Why doesn't Sega bring those back?

    [–]jklantern 0 points1 point ago

    Wait, since I have a computer with a DVD/CD-RW once more, I finally have something I can play that game on again! Now where the Hell did I put it, and is the disc still functioning?

    [–]xxfay6 2 points3 points ago

    Dude, S3&KN is a cartridge game

    [–]jklantern 0 points1 point ago

    They released a computer version of it in the late nineties. I think it was called the Sonic and Knuckles collection, but basically, it has S3, S&K, and S3&K. Aside from some changed music, it's the same as the console version.

    [–]Tyler1851 0 points1 point ago

    It was a good game, I never had a genesis growing up I was a snes kid and I just got my first genesis last year. I enjoy the Sonic games I just can never get very far in them, I actually am in the mood to play them now so I might just play sonic 3 and knuckles. I did however play the sonic games on my pc now that I think about it. I always picked Knuckles.

    [–]shippu 1 point2 points ago

    They're actually pretty easy. Mario games are definitely harder.

    [–]d0nkeyb0ner 0 points1 point ago

    Yeah, I only ever beat Sonic CD as a kid, and I did that once. The problem was that there wasn't a save option until Sonic 3, so you had to do it all in one sitting.

    A few years back, though, when I was a freshman in college, I got a Genesis emulator and a controller for my laptop, and sat down and beat all of the Sonic and Mario games I never finished as a kid, using save states between levels. It was awesome. I still have the save state with Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles all complete, with all the chaos & super emeralds, so I can go back and play any level I want at any time.

    Knuckles was always my favorite too; but his levels are actually a lot different, so you really need to play both Sonic and Knuckles to experience the whole game.

    [–]cheops1853 0 points1 point ago

    Sonic 2 was the first game I ever beat. My opinion of it is definitely colored by nostalgia, but I still love that game to death.

    [–]DopeMan_RopeMan 16 points17 points ago

    They were awesome games bro, the Death Egg? Metal Sonic???

    [–]POWER_ANUS 6 points7 points ago

    Metal Sonic is still the fucking man.

    [–]cheops1853 1 point2 points ago

    I know they're different characters, but every time I fought Metal Sonic I couldn't help feeling like I was kicking Uncle Chuck's ass.

    [–]POWER_ANUS 1 point2 points ago

    He was really light blue so I never had that problem, heh. Well that and he's got that mustache ;)

    [–]AngelComa 4 points5 points ago

    Play Generations.

    [–]Syphon8 0 points1 point ago

    They were good, but they weren't Super Mario World good.

    [–]RadiantSun 22 points23 points ago

    Sonic's earlier games were great, easily comparable in quality to Mario games, but there's only so much you can do with "fast" platformer design without fucking it up, IMO and then they jumped into 3D to try to keep up with Mario but this time, speed just made for bad platforming. After Adventure, Sonic basically became shit for this reason while Mario games are still of consistently high quality.

    [–]Juliendnb 16 points17 points ago

    I'm enjoying Generations a lot.

    [–]RadiantSun 1 point2 points ago

    Generations was really good, yeah. Unfortunately, Sonic 4 (episode 1 and 2 so far) is still shit.

    [–]Tyler1851 2 points3 points ago

    I've heard good things about sonic 4. I might download the trials tonight and try them out.

    [–]I_Will_Allow_This 0 points1 point ago

    They aren't as good as previous 2D Sonic games and Episode I is kind of shitty, but Episode 2 is a lot of fun.

    [–]AngelComa 1 point2 points ago

    Episode 2 isn't shit. 1 maybe. But 2? Come on.

    [–]RadiantSun 0 points1 point ago

    I mean, I'm not saying YOU should hate it, but the controls and physics are so crappy. Sonic generations got it great, so why not get it right with Sonic 4?

    [–]AngelComa 0 points1 point ago

    Episode 2 isn't even the same physics as the first episode. Not even shocked you didn't play it.

    [–]RadiantSun 0 points1 point ago

    I did play play it. The physics just as crap, by which I mean "not even nearly as good as Sonic Generations"

    [–]leodamascus 4 points5 points ago

    I came late into Sonic's fandom, and found his earlier games were filled with noob traps, unbalanced powerups, impossible traps (especially the placement of some of the slicers from Sonic 2), and a strict adherence to momentum-based gameplay that until Sonic 2's introduction of the spindash left Sonic moving painfully slowly if you found yourself at the bottom of a hill. It didn't make them bad games, but these issues seem larger to me than anything that I experienced in Sonic Adventure, and certainly larger than anything I experienced in the tight multi-path reaction platforming of Sonic Generations.

    So I don't share your opinion. I think (with some notable exceptions, especially around 2006) that Sonic was improved after the move to 3D.

    [–]encyclopediagalactic 1 point2 points ago

    Perhaps not the arguments between players but Sega's marketing strategy was to advertise the Genesis as an edgy, bad-ass speed beast that could chew up slower Nintendo products for breakfast. BLAST PROCESSING!

    [–]AngelComa -2 points-1 points ago

    Good games? >.>

    Sonic Generation is a overall (wayyy) better game than New Super Mario Bros. I don't hate Mario. Galaxy games are very impressive. But they are very linear compared to Sonic games. When SONIC TEAM gets level design down, they hit it hard. Mario always seems that they go for more levels, with a few great ones and a bunch of filler (Go right... jump... hold right)

    [–]Jamie_W 1 point2 points ago

    EARLY 1990's

    [–]shippu 0 points1 point ago

    Sonic Generation is a overall (wayyy) better game than New Super Mario Bros.

    Bullshit. You're on rails for most of generations. It's a disgrace.

    [–]kevinturnermovie 0 points1 point ago

    But they are the prettiest rails I have seen since the Uncharted games.

    [–]shippu 0 points1 point ago

    The physics and tightness are a large part of what made the original games good. You barely even feel in control in generations. Even hitting a spring or an enemy or going up a ramp locks you into a predetermined path. Is it really that hard to just do it properly? I mean the whole system has been documented by amateurs.

    [–]AngelComa 0 points1 point ago

    On rails? I love that word, isn't that how you would describe New Super Mario Bros since there is NO FUCKING exploring.

    Good one... not only that, the 2D sections in Generations are head and heels above New Super Mario Bros.

    [–]whatidk 3 points4 points ago

    RIGHT. IN. THE. CHILDHOOD....

    [–]COMIC_SAAAAAAAAANS 5 points6 points ago

    I can't fap to artwork with that retched font.

    [–]Chaster321 33 points34 points ago

    Am I the only one who prefers Sonic to Mario?

    [–]nintendodirtysanchez 32 points33 points ago

    No

    [–]wieners -1 points0 points ago

    As long as we are talking about the Genesis & Sega CD games (Excluding 3D Blast)

    [–]ellisrgreen 6 points7 points ago

    Sonic Spinball.

    [–]GrahamRJ 1 point2 points ago

    Worm bagged.

    [–]I_Will_Allow_This 1 point2 points ago

    3D Blast was a blast. An isometric blast but still a blast.

    [–]Hatdrop 1 point2 points ago

    despite the werehog stages, sonic unleashed was pretty damn awesome. i haven't played it myself, but sonic colors seems to have been well received also.

    [–]nintendodirtysanchez 0 points1 point ago

    Definately I think Sonic 2 and Sonic CD are 2 of the best 2d platformers ever made with 2 of the best soundtracks of the 16 bit era.

    [–]ukmhz 1 point2 points ago

    No, I think pretty much every kid whose parents hated him and bought him a genesis instead of a SNES prefers Sonic.

    [–]vertigo1083 2 points3 points ago

    I like how he wears his gloves during sex.

    [–]HeathenSoldier 10 points11 points ago

    No glove, no love?....

    [–]Hatdrop 2 points3 points ago

    can i borrow a feeling?

    [–]Flamecommando36 0 points1 point ago

    Fur gets sticky easily.

    [–]Iysif 6 points7 points ago

    Chin up Sonic; it happens to the best of us!

    [–]Urbanviking1 1 point2 points ago

    I guess she was in another castle after all...

    [–]LikeWizeCrakka 1 point2 points ago

    Sweet sweet beastiality.

    [–]Mycooljam 1 point2 points ago

    The princess kinda looks like bleh from drawn together.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

    Why is princess peach always pictured as a slut?

    [–]Spants23 2 points3 points ago

    weird..I posted this about 4 months ago. I got ridiculed that it was a repost...And here we are four months later and this post has almost 1,000 upvotes. I don't understand Reddit sometimes...

    [–]crzymnky32 1 point2 points ago

    /r/rule34

    [–]InuzukaAngel77 0 points1 point ago

    This has been reposted so many times.

    [–]yazan112 0 points1 point ago

    Yeah but...sonic is like a vibrator.

    [–]PKrising24 0 points1 point ago

    ...yes.

    [–]emailboxu 0 points1 point ago

    Peach sleeping with a large hedgehog

    I need to sleep. Goddammit reddit..

    [–]YOitzODELLE 0 points1 point ago

    Furry porn is alright?

    [–]Dev1l5Adv0cat3 0 points1 point ago

    The most impressive thing about sonic wasn't the speed, but the endurance that came with it.

    [–]kdawgnmann 0 points1 point ago

    Bestiality!

    [–]dsymquen 1 point2 points ago

    adds a new meaning to the term quickie

    [–]Maschinenbau -3 points-2 points ago

    I don't understand why people make such a big deal about quick sex. Just wait with some cuddling, sack up, and go at it again. Your endurance will be much better the second time.

    [–]Lamar_the_Usurper -2 points-1 points ago

    She wanted her animal sex to last longer.

    Whore.

    load more comments (4 replies)

      Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. © 2012 reddit inc. All rights reserved.

      REDDIT and the ALIEN Logo are registered trademarks of reddit inc.

      π Rendered by PID 24727 on app-88 running 355faba.