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all 131 comments

[–]StickiestFingers 177 points178 points ago

My girlfriend just lies there anyways. I can't tell the difference.

[–]sanjen 26 points27 points ago

That's a sad story. Here, take an upvote as comfort.

[–]AnotherClosetAtheist 19 points20 points ago

"Are you sexually active?"

"No, I just lie there?"

[–]ModernDayCasanova 4 points5 points ago

You sir are the proud owner of my biggest chuckle of the month thus far.

[–]TheSov 10 points11 points ago

i too date a british woman!

[–]MrPeel11 2 points3 points ago

At least you have Reddit to confide in

[–]ferret_feet 2 points3 points ago

Yes she does - I can confirm.

[–]iWillFuckYourCorpse 37 points38 points ago

Pro-tip: Use rohypnol instead of GHB for a significantly prolonged experience. The latter has a half-life of an hour at the most, and typically wears off within a couple hours (depending on the dose used, of course), while rohypnol will give you a good eight hours to take your time, and drive safely to the drop site.

[–]IViolateSocks 20 points21 points ago

I appreciate this level of detail iWillFuckYourCorpse, any other tips?

[–]iWillFuckYourCorpse 19 points20 points ago

Yes, never skimp on quality materials. No generic duct tape, no flimsy weak ropes, and certainly don't try and be thrifty with the drugs. Those horror stories we've all heard of broads waking up in the middle of it are easily avoidable if you take all the necessary precautions.

[–]IViolateSocks 8 points9 points ago

I smell a self-help book in the works...

[–]I_work_too_much 0 points1 point ago

Upvote for broads.

[–]ReallyTinyFont -1 points0 points ago

The thing about name brand Rohypnol is that it turns drinks weird colors, so cheaping out on flunitrazepam is a good thing, since the off brands don't do that. GHB is salty and noticeable, but it dissolves in drinks better than Rohypnol.

[–]iWillFuckYourCorpse 0 points1 point ago

I don't think someone who's blindfolded and bound really cares what color drink you force down their gullet.

[–]AikawaKizuna 3 points4 points ago

Your username is much more relatable.

[–]DeliciousKiwi 3 points4 points ago

Wat?

[–]dietbroccoli 6 points7 points ago

Date rape.

[–]ruffus4life 5 points6 points ago

dat rap

[–]Yoyo8 1 point2 points ago

It's a sign. You must dead fish her.

[–]R3xz 1 point2 points ago

If one is willing to do all the work, the other one can can just lie there anyway and take it, it's not like you have anything important to do. And if you're a man and you get tired from just having a boner, you don't deserve to be with your penis.

[–]yourfacelikesme -1 points0 points ago

Then how are you fingers the stickiest?

[–]IViolateSocks 3 points4 points ago

Honey in a fleshlight, you're in for a real mess.

[–]yourfacelikesme 0 points1 point ago

And potentially painful?

[–]A_Wild_Missingno -3 points-2 points ago

yes, and by "girlfriend" you mean passed out girl you found at a party and/or outside the bars?

So what frat are you in?

[–]15xEBITDA 1 point2 points ago

GDIs are going to hate

[–]kinkyslinky 7 points8 points ago

[–]f3tch 3 points4 points ago

I saw a kiosk for those at a nerd expo. People looked like zombies playing with those for almost five minutes.

[–]Esquire13 28 points29 points ago

Ready for marriage!

[–]CupCaked 0 points1 point ago

It appears that he dies in the end.

[–]BigStickOSalami 12 points13 points ago

Me when my girlfriend is bitching.

[–]monkikuso 13 points14 points ago

I'm pretty sure that cat is dead.

[–]Croissants 17 points18 points ago

The tail moves halfway through the gif, and if you watch the cat's stomach after the second cat falls you can clearly see breathing.

Cat's alive, go enjoy the gif again!

[–]iWillFuckYourCorpse 6 points7 points ago

As are my girlfriends when I want sex. Funny how those things work.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

You'll notice that that cat moves its tail in one part, so it's probably alive.

[–]YOjulian 0 points1 point ago

it's clearly breathing.. watch his chest move, especially in the last scene

[–]Obligate_Aberration 0 points1 point ago

[–]Bartlebad 31 points32 points ago

Or maybe just tell him you're not in the mood and save him time.

[–]Velvet_Jesus 49 points50 points ago

That's more like raising a challenge.

GF: "I'm not in the mood right now"

BF: "Don't worry, I'll put you in the mood"

[–]LuckiestBadLuckBabe 17 points18 points ago

THIS! Saying "I'm not in the mood right now" has never deterred my BF, in fact I think it makes him see it as a challenge... (Just like how the kitty in the video is not deterred by the fact that the other kitty is obviously sleeping)

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Aff3ct 2 points3 points ago

You are obviously a very compassionate lover. Enjoy loneliness much?

[–]VersatileLight -5 points-4 points ago

I am a very compassionate lover and I have been in a relationship for the last 2 years. It was just a joke.

[–]Aff3ct 2 points3 points ago

Right. Delete on, ice princess.

[–]Aff3ct 0 points1 point ago

I had to upvote to bring you back from the depths. I've personally found that when my lovers of the past were interested and I was not, I would not tell them no. I would eventually be in the mood, and because of this, both of us were happy. Life is too short. If you're not sexually attracted to your mate, or you feel denying them affection is of merit, let them find someone else who will love them compassionately and endlessly.

[–]VersatileLight 0 points1 point ago

How do I deal when I'm in the mood but my girl isn't? I can't just bust one out in front of her. I want to slow down for her, but my hormones seem to be my worst enemy. Lately it hasn't been hard because I have been going through some tough mental issues and but I'm scared if I ever do get back to normal I will be just a regular horn dog. I love her too much to lose her and that's one of the few things that bothers her because she rarely wants anything sexual.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]VersatileLight -3 points-2 points ago

Can I message you? There are some personal things I don't want the rest of Reddit to know.

[–]Malcriao 0 points1 point ago

I absolutely fucking hate this.
My ex did this all the time and it's part of the reason we broke up.

He thought it was HILARIOUS to try and get me horny after I said I didn't want to have sex. Hmm no, not funny or effective.

[–]SolidDexter 8 points9 points ago

Why are you never in the mood?

[–]Velvet_Jesus 5 points6 points ago

Malcriaos BF used seduce.

He was ineffective.

[–]iWillFuckYourCorpse 10 points11 points ago

THIS. It would be so much easier if women would just say "No" right out of the chute, so I could save us both some time and just skip straight to Step 6.

[–]TheGreatLeapingDingo 10 points11 points ago

no my corpse is not in the mood

[–]Tartantyco -4 points-3 points ago

Just fucking laugh and keep moving on to the next submission instead of getting all uppity about every fucking thing.

[–]Bratmon 1 point2 points ago

I'm not sure you know what comments are for.

[–]Tartantyco -4 points-3 points ago

They're for stupidity, it seems.

[–]dearbooboo 4 points5 points ago

^ -- ironic lol

[–]MeMyMoo 2 points3 points ago

I knew she was faking it.

[–]homezlice 2 points3 points ago

I feel, when I see the post at only 19 karma, that I am seeing Michelangelo's David with only the marble cock roughed in.

[–]ginganija[S] 0 points1 point ago

now its 1037 - i think the sketch is complete :P

[–]Smoking_Gun1508 16 points17 points ago

Just remember you posted this next time you ask for something and your boyfriend doesn't give it to you. You can never get mad again. NEVER!

[–]starmandan 3 points4 points ago

Gee... I wish my wife would just lay there when I'm in the mood and she's not. I usually get slapped and she goes off to sleep on the couch.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

You're doing it wrong.

[–]risto1116 11 points12 points ago

I am convinced no girl is ever in the mood.

[–]digitalcriminal 9 points10 points ago

Date a cougar. They're always hot and ready. Just like little ceasars $5 pizza

[–]FourthReichsFuhrer 1 point2 points ago

They'd better be paying you for your work.

[–]theplnk 5 points6 points ago

As a girl, I can say that this was false about 30 minutes ago.

[–]risto1116 9 points10 points ago

so.... what are you doing 30 minutes from now?

[–]alkapwnee 2 points3 points ago

Will still be waiting after 27 minutes.

[–]Cpt_America 1 point2 points ago

SO BRAVE

[–]RoflCopter4 -1 points0 points ago

Virgin detected.

[–]Confucius_says 10 points11 points ago

from my experience everyone who says "virgin detected" is actually a virgin themselves.

[–]RoflCopter4 -1 points0 points ago

Looks like you found an exception.

[–]apajx 1 point2 points ago

Virgin detected.

Hah! It's funny because I'm not a virgin! So it's like, what.

[–]ILoveYouInAHeteroWay -1 points0 points ago

Indeed. Every girl I have encountered has been exceptionally horny.

[–]Triette 0 points1 point ago

I feel bad for you. I'm often in the mood, a lot...too much sometimes. :(

[–]Jexium 3 points4 points ago

Entirely too accurate

[–]Innfuryating 4 points5 points ago

Damn. You look energetic when you're not in the mood.

[–]dubloe7 0 points1 point ago

Ah, the ole switchit redderoo.

[–]Aff3ct 1 point2 points ago

Wait until the roles reverse, missy. You truly get what you give.

[–]Xeshema 1 point2 points ago

I saw this gif a few hours ago. Yet I can relate to this better.

[–]ginganija[S] 0 points1 point ago

I was surprised no one had already done this when i posted it :P

[–]Skambini 1 point2 points ago

The humor here is that the brown cat is dead.

[–]Alek992 4 points5 points ago

you cold bitch

[–]JimmyJamesincorp 2 points3 points ago

Yeah. Be thankful he's horny. There will come a time when he'll start looking for sex eslewhere. give him a quick hand job and be done with it. He'll be happy and will love you even more.

[–]King_Bowser 1 point2 points ago

And they just keep pestering.

[–]hiphophippopotamus 0 points1 point ago

The cat will find another cat to play with then...

[–]aggiegirlsrock 0 points1 point ago

Poor kitty just wanted sex!

[–]megageo 0 points1 point ago

MY boyfriend?

[–]churchify 0 points1 point ago

THAT

[–]churchify 0 points1 point ago

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THEY DO!

[–]kbox 0 points1 point ago

That's how i am too when my girlfriend want's to not be punched in the fucking throat, but i'm just not in the mood.

[–]upyourattraction 0 points1 point ago

I don't condone animal violence like this.

[–]DomTrooper 0 points1 point ago

So it's dog sex? He sits and begs, while you roll over and play dead?

[–]POTATO_SMUGGLER 0 points1 point ago

That's funny, that's how my ex acted when she wanted a particular kind of sex...

[–]deafcon5 0 points1 point ago

Just give him a handie. Where is the love?

[–]WhyIsTheNamesGone 0 points1 point ago

As a man, this is alien to me. What is not being in the mood like? I can understand "hey, I hadn't thought of that, good idea" but not this.

[–]JimmyJamesincorp 0 points1 point ago

Let him eat you then, then help him with a hand job. He'll appreciate it and you'll enjoy it.

[–]helios11 -1 points0 points ago

i feel like my boyfriend posted this...

[–]MarioBGE 2 points3 points ago

So you're gay?

[–]helios11 0 points1 point ago

yes...

[–]MarioBGE 0 points1 point ago

Oh. Okay. Sorry.

[–]helios11 0 points1 point ago

Why are you sorry. I am confused, was there a point to this?

[–]hardrider2k4 -1 points0 points ago

u dunt haz a bf

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]justanub 9 points10 points ago

You must be new to the internet. Right click, motha fucker! Or, click save underneath the link. Up to you.

[–]search144 -1 points0 points ago

I knowwww, but every time I do that it saves a picture of the gif, not the actual gif. I'm also doing it on my phone, that's probably why. Thank you for attempting to help such a stupid question!

[–]dietbroccoli -1 points0 points ago

Does that actually deter him?