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1103

Probably a repost, but I found this hilarious. (imgur.com)

submitted ago by Cheffinator

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[–]jap-a-negro 51 points52 points ago

He's so clean cut; he could do much better than her.

[–]cludeo656565 14 points15 points ago

Well it looks like he's been buffed and polished if you know what I mean.

[–]okmkz 8 points9 points ago

His wife looks like poop.

[–]cludeo656565 0 points1 point ago

hahaha yeah she needs to be more circular and less elongated.

[–]ksmcqueen 2 points3 points ago

yeah he really shines under pressure, cleans up well too

[–]hanneken 50 points51 points ago

"Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight, if you shoved a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond."

[–]udbluehens 10 points11 points ago

Didnt come here for Ferris Bueller, but got it anyways. Nice.

[–]countlazypenis 14 points15 points ago

If you dropped a chunk of coal into the Mariana trench would it turn into diamond? zee Captain can only wonder.

[–]_curtiss 49 points50 points ago

Most synthetic diamonds are formed at a pressure of 5.5GPa

Synthetic pressure = 5*10^9 pascals (source)

The pressure found at the deepest confirmed point of the Mariana Trench (10910m) is about 0.12GPa (source):

Trench pressure = 1.127*10^8 pa
Scale difference = 1.127*10^8 pa / 5*10^9 pa
Scale difference = 0.02254

The pressure at the deepest point on Earth is about 44 times less than what is required to create a synthetic diamond. This ignores the fact that, at that depth, water is a chilly 1°C while synthetic diamonds are created at temperatures well above 1000°C (source)

Disregarding temperature, finding the depth of water to create that ~5Gpa equates to around 122km underwater, which is no where near the depth of anywhere on Earth. Well, at least I think, researching this was fun regardless :D

[–]countlazypenis 10 points11 points ago

Dammit xD ah well, thanks for (surprisingly) understandable explanation :P

[–]poitsplace 9 points10 points ago

But you can make a styrofoam cup REALLY small.

[–]countlazypenis 4 points5 points ago

I bet it's not as fun life threatening as putting packets of crisps in a microwave :P

[–]Real-Life-Reddit 3 points4 points ago

Put a lit match in the microwave. Insta Tesla coil.

Edit: can be a bit dangerous

[–]TheInternetHivemind 1 point2 points ago

The strongest substance in the universe: eggs apperantly...

[–]poitsplace 6 points7 points ago

And then there's the issue of it not being coal that turns into a diamond...otherwise diamonds would be found in gigantic seams like coal.

[–]_curtiss 5 points6 points ago

Yep! They're usually formed during subduction events, if I can recall correctly, and brought up to the surface during volcanic eruptions. Pretty amazing to think that you might be wearing something that was 150km underground only a few million years ago.

[–]tdn 2 points3 points ago

1 degree C is warmer than I expected

[–]_curtiss 1 point2 points ago

Not entirely sure on that figure, but its reasonable that liquid water could reach below freezing with pressures that high without turning into ice.

[–]tdn 1 point2 points ago

Not to mention salt reducing freezing point of water to below 0 celcius. On mobile at the moment so I can't get references but there has been superheated water found near geothermic hot spots that was at liquid at very high temperatures.

[–]neanderthalman 3 points4 points ago

Pressure also helps with that. We have systems with liquid water at 300 degrees, but because they're in the 10MPa range for pressure it does not boil.

SCIENCE!

[–]Rich_Cheese 1 point2 points ago

At 1 degree Celsius, water is most condensed . After it goest to past that point it starts to expand.

Edit: its actually at 4 degrees.

[–]Ref101010 0 points1 point ago

Actually, water reaches it highest density at 4°C. It's less dense, both above and below that temperature. A very rare property among chemicals (edit:) in nature.

(However, some variables might change this, for example high pressure and salt content.)

[–]Rich_Cheese 0 points1 point ago

Thanks for the correction. And I've always wondered if salt would have a impact on the density of water

[–]mapkinase 0 points1 point ago

Most fun things are useless. That's what I learned when I studied math. 90% of math is useless fun crap interspersed between profoundly useful 10% far fetching applications. All the lectures could be build like this: "Here is a theorem used in electrical engineering and breeding cats", but look at this related fun formula, that nobody could prove for 200 years.

[–]Trapped_in_Reddit 62 points63 points ago

Things were getting pretty heated at the office

[–]mach-2 20 points21 points ago

Under the intense pressure, he got hard.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

Luckily he had the minerals to get by.

[–]BamBam-BamBam -1 points0 points ago

Luckily, he had the stones to get by.

FTFY

[–]Joshuagamer2 0 points1 point ago

First place I saw that was threadless.com :P

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]analcarbomb 9 points10 points ago

You must be playing leap frog with the joke, because it just went over your head.

[–]Jellyman64 0 points1 point ago

What did he say?

[–]Dharmatician 14 points15 points ago

Thats Coaled

[–]just_a_quantum_dot 6 points7 points ago

And also took to cutting himself, since raw diamonds do not look like that...

[–]Blowout777 14 points15 points ago

He's been getting in shape.

[–]Lattenbrecher 7 points8 points ago

as a member of /r/geology I approve this joke !

[–]redhatGizmo 2 points3 points ago

Probably a repost

it doesn't matter but please don't fucking whine about it in the title.

[–]kentoss 2 points3 points ago

Pressure! Pressing down on me! Pushing down on you!

[–]FueledbyJu 2 points3 points ago

Did anyone else figure that if they're coal, and the father turned into a diamond, then her necklace is made out of dead, pressured, coal babies?

... Would be the equivalent of wearing a necklace of human babies.

SICK, YOU'RE SICK.

[–]The_Overexplainer 10 points11 points ago

OH I SEE. The joke in this panel is that the father used to be of the same distinct shape and molecular structure as the mother and father (coal) but after receiving pressure from an unmentioned party, he has become a diamond! Therefore, my dear redditors, it is a science joke! I would definitely recommend a crash course on basic chemistry to understand this one! HOW RIOTOUS!

[–]Scryer_ -1 points0 points ago

More upvotes for this novelty account.

[–]MathewMurdock 1 point2 points ago

If he wanted to he could chip off part of him and sell it.

[–]JazzyNyancat 1 point2 points ago

I HATE YOU AND LOVE YOUR WIT. FUCK YOU CHEFFY.

[–]Jowitz 1 point2 points ago

I wish women were more infatuated with me the more organized my molecular structure was; my composition is amazing.

[–]chriskilinc 1 point2 points ago

It's funny, because not everyone get this joke. :)

[–]kceb 1 point2 points ago

He's trying to convince his bosses that he's a diamond in the rough.

[–]EntityDamage 1 point2 points ago

Is that Canadian coal?

[–]synthion 1 point2 points ago

Am I the only one who thought the necklace on the mother looked like a weird, horrific smile? I was freaked out.

[–]PunkPenguin 1 point2 points ago

I like this one

[–]DickHole_Hair 1 point2 points ago

At first I thought they were pieces of shit, and not coal :/

[–]wearywill 1 point2 points ago

Did you know that although graphite as diamond both are made of pure carbon, you can't turn graphite into diamond using any means? It's because for a reaction to occur, a value called Gibbs free energy change must be negative. For this to be negative for graphite turning into carbon, you'd require negative Kelvin temperature which obviously won't be achievable.

[–]georgemaeus 1 point2 points ago

Im pretty sure the production of diamonds involves the conversion of graphite into diamonds?

[–]tdn 0 points1 point ago

I've studied a bit of chemistry and from my understanding, the graphite is ordered in its structure. The diamond is more highly ordered. The change is an increase in entropy. The reaction will only be feesible if [at standard pressure] change in energy is less than the change in (temperature x change in entropy).

Edit: Forgot to mention the part about standard pressure.

[–]neanderthalman 0 points1 point ago

That is patently untrue.

It just means you need to add enough energy - such as high temperature and pressure.

Many/most synthetic diamond creation process specifically use graphite as the feedstock. Some vapor depositions methods might use something else, but graphite can be transformed into diamond using several different methods.

[–]hey_mom 0 points1 point ago

I read "probably a rapist." boy, was i confused for about 10 seconds.

[–]Enlightend1 0 points1 point ago

Who's been chipping him off, on the side?

[–]fuzzgirl12 0 points1 point ago

Haha! Maybe it was worth it?

[–]DaLuDeD 0 points1 point ago

His been, between a rock and a hard place

[–]bakerman92 0 points1 point ago

Are they coal, or are they poo?

[–]Ed-alicious 0 points1 point ago

Initially I thought they were poo.

[–]TailSpinBowler 0 points1 point ago

Why is he sticking his tongue out? :)

[–]P3chorin 0 points1 point ago

Dad really settled for mommy.

[–]leapsntwirls 0 points1 point ago

It took me a little while to figure out that the mother was not, in fact, Canadian.

[–]MrWolf5000 0 points1 point ago

he would still be coal. HE WOULD JUST BE COAL ON ROIDS.

[–]tubs787 0 points1 point ago

"I don't get it"... "lol wut?"

[–]closewindow 0 points1 point ago

Wow, what a C!

[–]apm1118 -2 points-1 points ago

I may have seen this before but due to your honesty upvote for you good sir/ma'am

[–]vvim 0 points1 point ago

agreed, and I don't understand why you got negative karma for this? Have an upvote on me!

[–]0six0four -1 points0 points ago

I saw it on 9gag, but it's ok. The circle of life

[–]TJOPootertoots -1 points0 points ago

Turds turn into diamonds now?

[–]MathewMurdock 11 points12 points ago

No they are coal.

[–]Lattenbrecher 4 points5 points ago

They are graphite, because coal has still too much H2O and other components inside :)

[–]CoolYo 6 points7 points ago

Coal story, bro.

[–]Cheffinator[S] 14 points15 points ago

Yes. The punchline is that it makes no sense.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

and because the waffle snout.

[–]SirFadakar 3 points4 points ago

But how hath the turducken quaffed?

[–]Ruirize 0 points1 point ago

But then, if I cannot braken, thine frozenbrone shallot sung enter the chookon.

[–]vvim 0 points1 point ago

so it was a repost (see KarmaDecay), but it still made me laugh :-)

Have an upvote kind Sir/Ma'am!

[–]sanchezson21 0 points1 point ago

Ever seen something where it's like so stupid it makes you laugh? hahahaha ya

[–]Chomskyhonky 2 points3 points ago

Never.

[–]uvelify 0 points1 point ago

Yes, imgur maintenance is hilarious!

[–]leopold-stoch 0 points1 point ago

Someone should make a /r/repost subreddit for all the "probably a repost" posts

[–]Vachii 0 points1 point ago

What if I told you that every picture (meme or otherwise) that was not created by OP is probably a repost?

[–]Cheffinator[S] 5 points6 points ago

You'd probably be right.

[–]HardyBrother 0 points1 point ago

so shit turns into diamonds?

[–]jsbigred 0 points1 point ago

What's with the potatoes?

[–]UnknownArchive -4 points-3 points ago

Here's a flow chart for you regarding possible reposts:

"Did you create the material?"

Yes - Then it's not a repost

No - It's a repost

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]asldkfououhe -3 points-2 points ago

it is 2012 and this is on the front page of reddit

[–]Sorkijan 5 points6 points ago

Grass is green.

[–]Ripuhh 0 points1 point ago

So is the sky.

[–]Cheffinator[S] 2 points3 points ago

Well that's blatantly incorrect.

[–]Ripuhh 0 points1 point ago

So is this: 30 days hath September, April, May, and November. All the rest have 35, but February is a mystery.

[–]Bramblinman -1 points0 points ago

Probably a downvote

[–]DanielLiaw -1 points0 points ago

.... Well, this hilarious post can have a really deep meaning to it..... Eg. ... He survied so much pressure, hardship in life, he endured.... So much in life.... It made him dimond..... Strong and all that..... Could be the weed talking....

[–]blainetrimble 1 point2 points ago

Please try to refrain from commenting on posts outside r/trees when your high. Thank you.

[–]DanielLiaw 0 points1 point ago

K :'(

[–]itsnotmyfaultimadick -1 points0 points ago

'm not a Diamond

[–]jon454777 -1 points0 points ago

peeing on the side of the toilet to make less noise

[–]OurNameIsLegion -1 points0 points ago

It is.

[–]aMANescape -2 points-1 points ago

that coal kid kinda looks like the okay meme. hehe. *sigh. what am I doing with my life?

[–]XxXBallSackXxX -3 points-2 points ago

This is an example of a post that isn't funny, but is upvoted anyways because people who get the joke feel like they're smart or some shit.

[–]Cheffinator[S] 2 points3 points ago

Based off of the maturity asserted by your username solely, I'm going to assume you didn't understand the joke, so you felt the need to put down those who did. Yes?

[–]XxXBallSackXxX 0 points1 point ago

Nah, I understood it

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