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all 144 comments

[–]Vitalic123 25 points26 points ago

I like how this totally real newspaper article is structured like a joke.

[–]jsmith212600 10 points11 points ago

That officially does it...I hate white man.

[–]aloneinlove 5 points6 points ago

There's a subreddit for it - /r/KillWhitey.

[–]BLACKdrew 3 points4 points ago

Interesting....

[–]SimilarImage 69 points70 points ago

Age User Title Reddit Cmnt Points
8 months jaspernu Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that /r/pics 36 170
7 months Maze_ Where white man went wrong /r/trees 239 753
8 months Tiger337 Where the white men went wrong here 16 30

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[–]plumpchump 4 points5 points ago

From: Grandma

FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:YOU GOTTA SEE THIS!! PASS IT ON FOR GOOD LUCK!

[–]henkrs1 9 points10 points ago

"Women did all the work" is somewhat concerning.

[–]GreenPlasticJim 5 points6 points ago

He did ask where the white man went wrong, to be fair.

[–]graffiti81 2 points3 points ago

It's not entirely true. Women did the cooking and child care and clothing making. Everyone pitched in to move the village, children cared for the horses and such (once horses appeared), the elders helped with young children, men hunted, fished and made war.

Everyone pitched in. Those who sat on their asses and did nothing were shunned.

[–]damnimrunningout 0 points1 point ago

in some tribes there were women who also "walked the warriors path" who went to war with the men as well as hunt and fish. Walking this path meant they did little to none of any women work, including childbearing.

Men also cook, tan hides, drum, make weapons and train young warriors to be.

[–]graffiti81 0 points1 point ago

As I understood it, few women fought, unless the battle was in their village. They certainly did go hunting, but that was to process the kills on the hunting ground because they had no way to transport thousand pound carcasses.

I'm certainly not well versed, but the native american lifestyle was both brutal and beautiful, and people need to realize that they may have had some damned good ideas.

[–]damnimrunningout 0 points1 point ago

well yes few women did fight, some choose to do it. as i said they walked the warriors path. they choose to go to war with the men and do other man like things. few women choose this, but some did.

And yes they did have some damned good ideas. Go to a pow wow sometime and ask to speak with some of the elders or grandmothers/fathers. They have some interesting things to tell and quite a few are still traditional.

[–]graffiti81 0 points1 point ago

One of the concepts that really struck me reading Hanta Yo was "the spirit that moves through all things". There was no 'religion,' no prophets, no gods, just the life (and non-life) around them. All life was important, and any life taken should be taken with reverence.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I'm guessing that hunting buffalo is considerably more dangerous than vegetable gardening.

Also, though I am not a woman, I actually enjoy gardening, cooking, being around my kids and like, making stuff. As opposed to like, killing animals and going to war.

Maybe Chief Two Eagles is confused as to who got the better end of this deal?

[–]aloneinlove 0 points1 point ago

Well women did housework and men went hunting. Sounds like a fair system at that time for them.

[–]RosieJo 1 point2 points ago

Men hunted, I think women cleaned, cooked, made clothes, gathered fruits, berries and vegatables, took care of livestock, raised children, planted, grew and harvested crops and other stuff like that...

[–]graffiti81 1 point2 points ago

You forget that as soon as children were able to walk they were included in daily activities and were expected to pitch in. Children took care of the livestock, did a lot of the harvesting and such. Check out a book called Hanta Yo if you're interested in a beautiful portrait of life as a plains indian.

[–]RabidCrab -1 points0 points ago

Men were busy hunting down prey, and often took days to do so. Just because their list of duties were smaller didn't make them less valuable than women.

If it wasn't a fair trade, I'm sure they would have changed their ways.

[–]RosieJo 2 points3 points ago

Oh they weren't less valuable at all, I just think the simple term "housework" didn't quite do their work justice.

[–]Matt3_1415 0 points1 point ago

You have a valuable point, but equally the simple term 'hunting' didn't quite do their work justice. Though here was a single reward, there were lots of skill, elements and jobs that each man on the hunt had to accomplish for them to attain prey.

[–]Bowlero 2 points3 points ago

This must be fake. No one actually says, "plenty buffalo."

[–]lordeddardstark 2 points3 points ago

This joke is sooo old that I was browsing with Lynx when I first read it.

[–]HereticAlpha 17 points18 points ago

Yes, and while we're at it, let's discuss influenza, which killed roughly 96% of them, or their shortened lifespan.

As bad as some aspects of society are, we live longer- we have more opportunity in this day and age to take those things we hate about society and change them.

Also, tits.

[–]sarcasticmrfox 11 points12 points ago

I'm sure most Redditors would trade in a life of technology and modern medicine for a few years of hunting, fishing and sex.

[–]CurlyNippleHairs 5 points6 points ago

Or just 2 minutes of sex sniff

[–]quintuple_mi -1 points0 points ago

You'd probably get more sex if you straightened those nipple hairs

[–]Bilbo_Fraggins 3 points4 points ago

I quite enjoy sex in the air conditioning on a soft bed with no lice, fleas, or mosquitoes, using birth control that means it will only end in children if we want it to.

As a civilization, I think we've done OK.

[–]EdinMiami 3 points4 points ago

How did the Indians contract influenza?

Wasn't that outbreak prior to the pilgrims landing?

How did modern society deal with it in 1918?

Anywho, yea we have it pretty good, but the Cheif's point is still valid.

[–]smokeyjoe223 2 points3 points ago

I thought it was mostly smallpox?

[–]TMM 0 points1 point ago

You do realize the reason the indians were so susceptible to white-man diseases is because they were relatively disease free and thus had immune systems that were unprepared for the horrible diseases that urban living creates right?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Not quite . . . the overwhelming majority of Indians were killed off by disease before whitey really got a foothold on this continent.

It's all about timing. Plagues happen . . . the colonization of America just so happened to correspond to one such plague that wiped out most of the native population. If it had not, the population would have bounced back in a century or two. Instead white man finished the job.

[–]TMM 0 points1 point ago

the overwhelming majority of Indians were killed off by disease before whitey really got a foothold on this continent

Really? Do you have a source on this?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

http://www.pbs.org/gunsgermssteel/variables/smallpox.html

My bad. Was smallpox that did 'em in.

Europeans were not able to get a foothold until after this plague wiped out the natives, but they were the vector that brought it over.

[–]TMM 0 points1 point ago

they were the vector that brought it over.

yeah, my point exactly

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

So in one respect, you are right . . . they had a good thing going and disease was not a big problem. But on the other . . . it was just a matter of time, from a long view perspective.

[–]dead_brony 4 points5 points ago

Sex all night? Plenty of beaver indeed

[–]Conservatron 31 points32 points ago

I am viewing this picture on a vast information network that connects people from around the planet and I am writing this comment on a pocket sized computer. I am sitting in a room in which the air is exactly the temperature I desire while I wait for a man to bring me professionally cooked food which I'm sure will not make me sick. Tomorrow I will ride in a vehicle powered by the miracle that is the internal combustion engine to a crowded airport, no one will murder me on my way. I will then board a giant metal tube that will go hurtling through the air and land safely on the other side of the country. I think the white man did ok.

[–]GreenPlasticJim 60 points61 points ago

All of that means nothing. Technological progress does not equal societal, cultural or intellectual progress.

I spent a month living in a small fishing village on the coast of Ecuador a few years back. No one had cars, computers or even a TV. Everyday all the men fished for 10 hours, played a couple hours of soccer, laid in a hammock and spent time with their families. The women raised kids and cooked. They ate mostly what they caught and sold a little to buy the basics. The families were incredibly close knit, young parents living with the grandparents adjacent to brothers and sisters.
At first I pitied this place for its lack of modern comforts, advanced education and opportunities. But after a month there I realized I was the one who should be pitied. I was the one who was spending more time on personal entertainment than with my family. I was the one striving for a fabricated version of success. A happy life can have really simple ingredients. And you can't judge a civilization based on its ability to manipulate physics, so long as it's populous isn't living happier more fulfilled lives. And its not a tough to make the argument that modern Americans, for example, are no happier than Native Americans were.

tl;dr iphones suck and so does your life

edit: spelling

[–]Man_Raptor 9 points10 points ago

Depends on the apps.

[–]two_in_the_bush 11 points12 points ago

What makes some people happy makes other people miserable.

Hard to argue though, that a man in a nice cool room isn't "happier" than the same man in a hot, stuffy, sweaty room. Or that a woman with the option to fly to another country to visit friends isn't happier than the same woman who hasn't seen those friends in 20 years.

[–]mongrouse 4 points5 points ago

Well sure, stuff is neat. It's what you have to do to get stuff that's the downside.

[–]TMM 1 point2 points ago

the same man in a hot, stuffy, sweaty room. Or that a woman with the option to fly to another country to visit friends isn't happier than the same woman who hasn't seen those friends in 20 years

That's a false comparison though. The indians weren't in hot stuffy rooms, they lived in the great outdoors! And they don't have far away friends they haven't seen in 20 years, everyone they know lives in their tribe. You're just comparing a white man of today to a white man of 100 years ago.

[–]two_in_the_bush 0 points1 point ago

Actually, it gets hot outside too. Or cold for that matter. And they slept in shelters just like "the white man".

And people migrated from their tribes the same as every other civilization.

So it's not a false comparison.

[–]el__duderino 1 point2 points ago

True, but I think it is easy to walk around a place and see people acting and feeling happy. Then to return from a place and notice a stark difference and then reflect on what might be the difference.

Given we are all people, it is hard to ignore the biggest difference - lifestyle and culture.

[–]two_in_the_bush 1 point2 points ago

Agree with you there. It comes down to culture more than anything.

It's the idea of blaming discontent on technology that doesn't seem to hold up.

[–]DaMountainDwarf 1 point2 points ago

Beautiful. I've thought this way for some time so believe me I understand. There are good things about advancement in certain modern elements like medicine, food. But advancement also enables, even pushes, people to lose their way; lose their humanity. Our selfish desires (conditioned or not) begin to come before our families, our friends.

When I get older, I doubt I'm going to look back and think, "I'm glad I didn't spend more time when the people I love; with the people that loved me."

[–]FoghatIsAmazing 1 point2 points ago

According to Cracked.com, European settler camps had to post guards to keep their people in the camps and not go live with the Native Americans because their lives were just so damn meaningful.

[–]irisher 3 points4 points ago

I appreciate that you specified a source but Cracked does not have a good reputation in regards to accuracy.

[–]FoghatIsAmazing 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, that's why I threw it in there. The idea rang true though because honestly, I think we'd all find a life of huntinng, fishing, drinking, socialising, sexing, and less than 4 hours of "work" a day very appealing.

[–]angrytech 0 points1 point ago

Very true, but the single point made in this case happens to be an accurate one, and well attested.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Cracked article provides citations I believe.

[–]graffiti81 -2 points-1 points ago

If you were happy and content with your life and a culture came in that had the intention of taking all you love and spreading disease that would wipe you out, are you saying you'd roll over and allow them to do it?

[–]Ausp3x 0 points1 point ago

Could simplify at home. It's marketing and media that fucks us up

[–]nitwittery 3 points4 points ago

All this to compensate for not having sex all night?

[–]Philile 2 points3 points ago

You're making the assumption that only the "white man" would have ever accomplished these things, or that they would have accomplished them much sooner than other cultures, and also without the help of other cultures. Hooray eurocentrism!

[–]two_in_the_bush 5 points6 points ago

Not that "only" the white man would have done it. Just that they did.

[–]Philile 11 points12 points ago

Okay, let's just pretend that the Chinese didn't discover the steel making process, sulfurous explosives, the paper making process, or chain pump that allows large-scale farming in rain-poor areas. Let's pretend that the it wasn't ancient Indian scholars who conceptualized zero. Let's pretend that it wasn't ancient Babylonians that laid the basic foundations for algebra. Let's pretend that Europeans and their diaspora invented and discovered everything that makes modern comfort possible because there's no way the "savage" races could ever best the white man at anything scholarly. It's entirely possible that without "white man", nothing we have now would have been possible in this day and age. It's also possible that we would be much further ahead in the sciences because the world wouldn't be constantly fighting off European colonization. Just because the "white man" dominated much of modern society, in the financial, political, and scientific sphere does not mean that modern society is solely a result of the white man's efforts. Eurocentrism is bad and you should feel bad.

[–]two_in_the_bush 0 points1 point ago

Haha, you got me there. Upvote for you my good man!

I used the term "white man" because that's what the OP used. Substitute "modern man" for every instance of "white man" (including in the original image) and the point holds truer to its intent.

[–]noccusJohnstein 0 points1 point ago

You can have any color you want, as long as it's white.

[–]Th3Hon3yBadg3r 0 points1 point ago

Eh Idk. The hunter/gatherer lifestyle seems a lot better. We just have better toys ;-)

[–]Lots42 2 points3 points ago

Protip: Life back then was not like the movies.

[–]graffiti81 -1 points0 points ago

You're right, it wasn't. It was more like humans being part of the natural landscape and part of the web of life as a whole. Why is that so bad?

[–]Lots42 2 points3 points ago

What you were imagining involved scalpings and rape and slavery and starvation and being eaten and bears and all sorts of horrors.

Dances With Wolves was NOT real.

[–]graffiti81 1 point2 points ago

No, clearly native americans were what we would consider brutal. Scalpings were far from the worst things indians did in war. One of their favorite things to do was tie a man to a post and skin him from neck to waist and leave him.

That said, europeans were pretty fucking brutal. And instead of doing it in moderation for hunting rights and such (indians rarely completely decimated a tribe) the europeans did it for their invisible sky daddy and did everything in their power to wipe out their opponents.

Look at the horrible tortures the spanish inquisition came up with.

As for rape, it did happen, but more likely they would capture women and bring them back to marry into the tribe (they were well aware of the problem of too much inbreeding). Those captives often lived as equals in the tribe.

[–]Lots42 -2 points-1 points ago

Equals except for the rape problem and being prisoners.

You, sir or madam, are making very little sense.

Just keep repeating to yourself, 'Movies aren't real' and you'll get it straight.

[–]graffiti81 0 points1 point ago

Read some books instead of getting your ideas from movies.

I'm paraphrasing about two hundred pages of explanation.

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

You just rephrased my position in this argument! What the hell.

[–]graffiti81 1 point2 points ago

I'm saying that you think I think indians were like in movies. That's not the case. I feel the only reason you feel this way is that you have no real information about how life really was.

The ideas I'm referencing aren't nearly as cut and dried as I make them out to be, no doubt. I really don't understand it entirely myself because I'm not a scholar of native american history.

The information I've read is that the 'captives' were assimilated not as slaves or prisoners but as equals in the tribe. They stayed because people were good to them, provided for them and included them. Often those women would have had to leave their tribe to find a mate, anyway.

[–]TMM 0 points1 point ago

Wow I'm so glad to hear rape and slavery and starvation have been totally eliminated. That's a relief...

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

Of course, that wasn't what I was saying at all.

On the off-chance you're sane enough to understand, I was saying that the Native Americans had all those horrible practices occuring in their tribes.

[–]TMM 0 points1 point ago

Sure. But you were contrasting it with modern life, and since modern life is clearly no better I don't really get the point.

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

The point was, I was replying to the idea that 'Native American life was better then modern life' which is not true.

[–]TMM 0 points1 point ago

Debatable

[–]aaOzymandias -1 points0 points ago

We have lots of shiny tech, but our culture is shit.

[–]Spookaboo 1 point2 points ago

Well that let's you view other cultures in a non biased way, it's actually a good thing.

[–]RumpoleOfTheBailey -1 points0 points ago

Everything you're praising is something you value subjectively just as the (totally real) Indian was doing. What someone considers an ideal society depends entirely upon what they value personally.

For me, the ideal is a mixture of the two because I grew up in the middle of nowhere but had opportunities to travel, access technology, and become educated. Thus, I value both kinds of life--one in which you adapt to the world around you and, the other, in which you change the world around you to accomplish things it couldn't facilitate before.

The fact that computers have shrunk rapidly and are technologically impressive means very little.

[–]Ausp3x -1 points0 points ago

All that just shows me an evasion of natural selection

[–]TMM -1 points0 points ago

no one will murder me on my way

You don't know that. And the price of all those conveniences that the natural world is quickly dying soo I'm gonna say jury's still out on weather the white man did ok or not, but it's not looking too good.

[–]RoflCopter4 -1 points0 points ago

I'd like to point out that it's pretty damn rare for anyone to have air conditioning. I know one person in my city who does.

[–]robopilgrim 1 point2 points ago

These kind of posts are very popular among white people.

[–]alclarkey 3 points4 points ago

Everything in this I like except "Medicine man free". It's all pipe dreams. Doctors do not spend 8 years in school, and another 4 in residency so they can work for free. And they are doctors, I think they do a little bit better work than the medicine man.

[–]SnuggleBear 8 points9 points ago

Idk man you should see the empirical studies about rain dances...

[–]graffiti81 1 point2 points ago

Are you saying they didn't know about using natural remedies around them?

[–]SnuggleBear 0 points1 point ago

I'm saying obviously modern science is 100x more effective.

[–]persistent_illusion 3 points4 points ago

So you like women doing all the work?

[–]aaOzymandias 2 points3 points ago

Don't we all?

(j/k ofc)

[–]sharkbait_oohaha 1 point2 points ago

they work for much cheaper in France. Though to be fair their med school is paid for. something to be said for not going $150,000 in debt.

[–]aaOzymandias 1 point2 points ago

And a medicine man did not do any kind of study under his master? I am no expert on the native american way of life, but I am sure a lot of studying and practice was done, but it was also a lot of ritual and culture mixed in with it. Sure, our current doctors knows a lot more, but only in recent history have we gotten this knowledge, and we should not dismiss traditions in the past based on present knowledge :)

[–]BonzoTheBoss 0 points1 point ago

I think the underlying argument was "modern medicine is better than that provided by a Native American medicine man."

Which is, I think it is fair to say, true. No one is saying that medicine men didn't put any effort in or that tradition isn't important, but from a purely medically scientific point of view, the medicine man doesn't hold a feather to modern doctors. (Even back then?)

[–]aaOzymandias -1 points0 points ago

I totally agree on that! After all, modern medicine is what keeps us going for so long as we do now. :)

I am not sure why or how the medicine man was not free back then, but he was an important part of their culture apparently, and good for them he was free :)

[–]el__duderino 0 points1 point ago

I feel like this is a complete WHOOSH of what Two Eagles has said.

[–]Weezyfb 0 points1 point ago

Their pay would be not having to hunt or gather i would take it. There was no school. You would probably be apprenticed by a master for free and contribute your knowledge freely.

[–]MisterAnton 0 points1 point ago

As a student heading for DO school very soon, I agree with you. However, I think the point he is trying to get at was that during those simpler times people had fair access to what they deemed "health care". Where as now, even those in serious need are being turned away for not having insurance. i think this is a very deep and controversial topic and there is no "right side" and "wrong side". I there are just arguments, rebuttals and arguments. All this is of course but my mere opinion among a vast 10 billion population

[–]FordSVT1 5 points6 points ago

10 billion? Are you including dogs and cats in that number?

[–]spattem 1 point2 points ago

seeing as we went from 6 to 7 billion in a matter of years, 10 billion should be here in less than 20 years.

[–]Reservoiren 0 points1 point ago

Around 2083 is the estimate. As people rise economically the birthrate will plummet.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

10 billion?...

[–]life_gave_me_leptons 0 points1 point ago

Turned away for not having insurance? Medical practices and doctors prefer patients who pay out of pocket for their services because insurance reimbursement rates are only a fraction of most service fees, and under most plans the remainder must be written off. And what these people deemed 'health care' was nothing more than a cruel joke, cultural respect aside.

[–]godin_sdxt 0 points1 point ago

Most people who do not have insurance could never even dream of paying for health care out of pocket.

[–]MyN3rdySWAG -2 points-1 points ago

8 years for a prescription pad and a pen. They sound about the same. Every doctor I met, anyway.

[–]tsujiku 1 point2 points ago

I'm not sure you really understand what is required of doctors.

[–]MyN3rdySWAG 0 points1 point ago

I do, but all they really do is give me drugs. Most of my doctors sucked, like when my doctor put me on antidepressants at thirteen and he mistook my ulcerative colitis for clinical depression.

[–]godin_sdxt 0 points1 point ago

Maybe you've just never gone to the doctor for anything that needed more than just some medication?

[–]MyN3rdySWAG 0 points1 point ago

To the contrary, I had surgery as a last resort to cure my disease. I guess the only doctors that do anything extraordinary are surgeons. The medicine man and my "Special" doctor would say the same thing, "take this, see if you feel better."

[–]Quickjager 0 points1 point ago

and your disease is.... ?

[–]The_Cake_Is_A_Lie 0 points1 point ago

Priapism.

[–]MyN3rdySWAG 0 points1 point ago

UC.

[–]Quickjager 0 points1 point ago

...isn't that widely accepted as untreatable, except through surgery?

[–]MyN3rdySWAG 0 points1 point ago

I had exhausted almost every possible medication treatment, except for one that required me to be monitored heavily in case of a severe reaction to it. I even took drugs for crohn's disease and drugs that costed $1300 a single dose. My uncle is also so scheduled to have surgery. It's not an easy fix.

You are right, there is no cure. But these medications were supposed to keep me from bleeding.

[–]godin_sdxt 0 points1 point ago

Something extraordinary is not always needed, however.

[–]MyN3rdySWAG 0 points1 point ago

I'm saying doctors are overpaid and overrated. The best doctor I ever had was my surgeon, the rest of them were just pill pushers. I respect what they do, just not how they do it and how much they charge.

[–]skibbz 1 point2 points ago

What's a Fagle?

[–]VeritasPhoenix 0 points1 point ago

[–]konydanza -1 points0 points ago

A gay Fraggle.

[–]68ant -1 points0 points ago

Repost but I'll forgive you because I lol at this everytime.

[–]SenorSpicyBeans 1 point2 points ago

I'd rather have cars, the internet, and video games than all that.

[–]afrobotics 1 point2 points ago

So would I, but I don't know how fulfilling hunting Buffalo all day could be...

[–]TheNavajo 1 point2 points ago

Repost, but being Native, I have to upvote this.

[–]ChiefShittingBear 0 points1 point ago

Saving to repost in several months.

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

And today's award for reposting this image goes to...

[–]LeDecypher 0 points1 point ago

repost

[–]silleebare 0 points1 point ago

i hate this post.

[–]Esc4p3 0 points1 point ago

Indian Chief Two Fagles

That's what I read

[–]BaronVonSlapNuts 0 points1 point ago

Protip: If you're posting a scanned copy of a photocopied newspaper article even your grandma knows it's a repost.

[–]unscanable 0 points1 point ago

Is it bad that I am starting to be able to spot the reposts based on just the title of the link?

[–]WizardGynoid 0 points1 point ago

looks like George W. Bush wearing pig tails.

[–]AOIM_CubanJ -1 points0 points ago

i wish u had an indian username so i could steal this post and force you to only be able to visit the New section of subreddits.

[–]MyN3rdySWAG 0 points1 point ago

Then he can stay in his own subreddits, make shittons of karma, and assign his own personal moderators.

[–]Honztastic 0 points1 point ago

I think the Red Man went wrong when the White Man destroyed his culture.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

WELL WHY ISN'T THERE A WHITE HISTORY MONTH?

[–]killdie -1 points0 points ago

AW MAN! SOME WHITE PERSON WROTE THIS INSPIRING COFFEE TIME NEWS ARTICLE AFTER THEY FOUND OUT THEY WERE 1/30th NATIVE AMERICAN AND THEN WROTE A RACIST LETTER SHAMING THEMSELVES! HOW CUTE!

[–]CPSLO -2 points-1 points ago

an indian named fagles? sounds legit

[–]swingawaymarell -2 points-1 points ago

Damn Chief, that's cold. Somebody get this redman a blanket.

[–]JacobNDuffy -1 points0 points ago

I love being native american. I salute you Chief!

[–]Peter-Android -1 points0 points ago

So true