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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]pachaug 367 points368 points ago

TIL 99% of birds cleaned after a chocolate fountain accident die, and it's purely a chocolate fountain company publicity act.

[–]TexasWithADollarsign 253 points254 points ago

CHOCOLATE RAIN

SOME BIRDS DIE BUT OTHERS FEEL NO PAIN

[–]cancerbotX 26 points27 points ago

Cho-co-late rain!

Spinal fluid leaks right through your brain

Cho-co-late rain!

At first it burns and then you feel the pain

Cho-co-late rain!

I have warped legs

[–]I_RAPE_WITH_SPOONS 10 points11 points ago

Am I the only one who thinks that this bird actually enjoys it? Just look at it

[–]jogabonito360 76 points77 points ago

Poor chockatoo

[–]CUNTBERT_RAPINGTON 44 points45 points ago

THIS.

They're using dispersing agents like frosting to HIDE the chocolate! Wake up sheeple!

[–]yourbuddyjoe 6 points7 points ago

Not enough people are getting this and that is sad.

[–]VGkusu 3 points4 points ago

The 1% lives forever?

[–]Timmyp17 6 points7 points ago

Theoretically, 100% of birds cleaned after a chocolate fountain accident die. Just like 100% of people that eat from a chocolate fountain die.

[–]actodd 771 points772 points ago

Is it weird that my first thought is I hope the birds ok?

[–]cofur 461 points462 points ago

Not gonna lie. Chocolate kills birds. So.. I don't think so.

[–]kidoefuji 295 points296 points ago

Chocolate seems to kill pretty much everything except us.

[–]SOMUCHFRUIT 90 points91 points ago

Chocolate is actually poisonous to us, but we'd need to eat 12lbs of it. I guess 12lbs of any one thing would kill us, though.

[–]EPIC_RAPTOR 20 points21 points ago

Isn't that the LD-50? Though it should be irrelevant because as you said, 12lbs of anything would kill you.

[–]SOMUCHFRUIT 21 points22 points ago

Probably, but the line must be drawn somewhere; may as well be at 12lbs of fucking chocolate.

[–]metricbot 29 points30 points ago

12 lbs = 5.44 kilograms

Who is wise in love, love most, say least.

[–]SOMUCHFRUIT 1 point2 points ago

Woo, metricbot is my minion!

[–]Splooge_McDuck 86 points87 points ago

Except Marijuana

[–]orthag 73 points74 points ago

If twelve pounds of marijuana falling at terminal velocity hit you in the head, you'd probably die.

[–]trchili 47 points48 points ago

You could probably also kill someone by stuffing 12 pounds of marijuana down their esophagus.

[–]steviesteveo12 23 points24 points ago

Depends on how tightly you pack it. Loose dry stuff would have a pretty low terminal velocity.

[–]TomCADK 16 points17 points ago

12lbs?

[–]Splooge_McDuck 57 points58 points ago

It is estimated that marijuana's [median lethal dose] is around 1:20,000 or 1:40,000. In layman terms this means that in order to induce death a marijuana smoker would have to consume 20,000 to 40,000 times as much marijuana as is contained in one marijuana cigarette. [National Institute on Drug Abuse]-supplied marijuana cigarettes weigh approximately .9 grams. A smoker would theoretically have to consume nearly 1,500 pounds of marijuana within about fifteen minutes to induce a lethal response.>

http://www.ccguide.org/young88.php

[–]fingapapits 62 points63 points ago

You'd die of asphyxiation first.

I'd just like the world to know I spelled that without autocorrect, and i'm really proud of that fact.

[–]Kage2021 22 points23 points ago

You've done well son. Your country is proud of you.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points ago

So the study this came from is flawed. They put gas masks on rats (it was monkeys, my bad) and pumped pot smoke into their lungs. The rats (monkeys) suffocated. The lethal dose is completely unknown and probably non existent.

[–]Laboratory 25 points26 points ago

Everything is toxic at some level. You can drink too much water and die. The have a warning level on laboratory sand. Sand. It is just sand. It may be super high (!) but there is an LD50 for any bio active small molecule.

[–]digitag 7 points8 points ago

source?

[–]therealxris 206 points207 points ago

Actually, it kills us too. Just slowly, and with diabetes.

[–]dimensional_dan 92 points93 points ago

That would be the sugar, if you take that out chocolate is pretty healthy.

[–]Cuplink 51 points52 points ago

But then why would you eat it?

[–]admiralteal 9 points10 points ago

Because dark chocolate with high caoco content is also delicious, and makes a wonderful spice for all sorts of meats and vegetables if used correctly (and preferably with stuff like cayenne and cumin).

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Nickeless 32 points33 points ago

How do you remember your username? (Just keeping the ratio in order)

[–]makemeking706 61 points62 points ago

It's written on the front and back of his credit card.

[–]edstatue 15 points16 points ago

Credit card, plus social.

[–]Magnesus 21 points22 points ago

It's simple it's just (1,505884981017)6.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]marshkillz 28 points29 points ago

what if we are allergic to time, and aging is our reaction to it.

[–]Kevinak3r 5 points6 points ago

DIABEETUS!

[–]HolyCornHolio 7 points8 points ago

Diabeetus

FTFY.

[–]hungoverseal 6 points7 points ago

Damn sugar AIDS

[–]CardboardHeatshield 8 points9 points ago

Idk man. I hear that chocolate kills dogs, but our dog definitely ate a whole tube of mini reeses cups one Christmas and it didn't phase her one tiny little bit. Maybe it would've done damage if she had eaten a bag of hershey kisses, idk.

[–]Roboticide 13 points14 points ago

Our dog ate two whole trays of chocolate chip cookie dough. Nearly killed him.

Depends on the quantity, depends on the dog, I think.

[–]Syphon8 13 points14 points ago

Depends on the type of chocolate too.

[–]ESCAPE_PLANET_X 9 points10 points ago

Lucky for your dog, reeses, and most other milk* "chocolates" don't have all of the ingredients that make chocolate. So it's not poisonous to them, though I am sure it's horrible for them.

Bakers chocolate, or other dark chocolates however will kill your furry friend so be careful!

Edit: forgot that it's milk chocolate not so much as all American chocolate, just that we primarily see milk chocolate passed off as pure chocolates here.

[–]largest_even_prime 2 points3 points ago

Chocolate doesn't kill dogs--theobromine, which is in chocolate, kills dogs.

Milk chocolate has some theobromine. Reese's Cups also have peanut butter, which isn't chocolate.

Baker's chocolate has much more theobromine, and can kill dogs in small quantities.

[–]chimpwithalimp 8 points9 points ago

Evolutions most delicious gift

[–]Roboticide 10 points11 points ago

That cocoa tree was probably all proud of itself for evolving a seed poisonous to everything until we came along.

[–]lokithecomplex 6 points7 points ago

Actually people make a good of it too.

[–]Vark675 342 points343 points ago

But it's just so fucking happy.

[–]getcolorr 243 points244 points ago

I.. I think he might be drowning.

[–]JCorkill 26 points27 points ago

DROWNING IN HAPPINESS!

[–]ScottCarmichael 6 points7 points ago

I've always said when I'm dead, I want to be buried in a solid white chocolate casket filled to the top with Mountain Dew.

That way, if I come back as a zombie or get buried alive, I can experience perfection one last time.

[–]EpinephrineJunkie 50 points51 points ago

Was it's name Augustus? All I had in my head was the willy wonka oompa-loompa song

[–]idma 2 points3 points ago

And the photographer just stands there. tisk tisk

[–]Joon01 48 points49 points ago

It's milk chocolate. It takes a lot of milk chocolate to kill an animal. If that bird were under a baker's chocolate waterfall, okay, that bird is fucked. Standing under a milk chocolate cascade though? That bird just needs to put on "Party Hard" as he overindulges and gets sick.

[–]tictactoejam 11 points12 points ago

But this would drown it

[–]re7erse 38 points39 points ago

This kills the bird.

[–]PalpableAtom 17 points18 points ago

The bird was probably trying to commit suicide. Being forced to work on "Jack and Jill" who wouldn't?

[–]oldaccount 32 points33 points ago

It may kill real birds, but digital birds have no problems with it.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]lookieausername 14 points15 points ago

But...he's not eating it...

[–]chaos_control 23 points24 points ago

Best way to go out.

[–]mejelic 44 points45 points ago

so if you stand under a chocolate fountain looking up, with your mouth open, you are not eating anything?

[–]vandal823 123 points124 points ago

To stand under chocolate, is to understand chocolate. Think about it.

[–]Broteezy 11 points12 points ago

We must all become one with the chocolate.

[–]fell-off-the-spiral 1 point2 points ago

Suddenly it all makes sense now.

[–]SpermWhale 6 points7 points ago

You're a Doctor of Psychocology.

[–]sandy_balls 18 points19 points ago

Not if you have a gullet.

[–]IndubENTably 12 points13 points ago

This mans balls are sandy and he is correct.

[–]CoughTunt 3 points4 points ago

This is a mad re-post though. I heard these are just cut images from a Jack & Jill trailer last time it was up here.

[–]Kiloueka 181 points182 points ago

Don't worry, its fake, it's from the movie Jack and Jill

[–]Jabberwockey 214 points215 points ago

Oh, so THAT's why it wasn't funny ;-)

[–]UpGoaTedThis 71 points72 points ago

Also why most of us didn't know what it was from.

[–]concussedYmir 4 points5 points ago

I have "seen" that movie three times.

There would have been a fourth time, but my friend said it would be the end of our friendship if I did. I still don't know what the movie is about though, as I was either stoned out of my mind or just thoroughly distracted by other things while it was on. All I know is I hate Adam Sandler for making it.

[–]ZeekySantos 35 points36 points ago

Luckily we aren't in /r/funny right now.

[–]Superchair14 20 points21 points ago

easy confusion though, there's no way this belongs in /r/WTF

[–]inthe80s 18 points19 points ago

sure it does. someone actually recognized this from that movie. Who the hell would see that piece of shit willingly?

[–]spyderman4g63 2 points3 points ago

Just knowing it came from that movie ruined it for me.

[–]Honestly_ 15 points16 points ago

Don't worry, its fake, it's from the movie Jack and Jill

I read that and figured it must've been a funny bit from what's supposed to be a terrible movie. Found the clip on youtube and the movie clip manages to be worse than the still photos.

[–]BeefPieSoup 52 points53 points ago

Is it weird that my first thought was "haha look a chocatoo"?

[–]FranklinWearsPants 13 points14 points ago

Yea, kind of looks like it got a lungful of chocolate.

[–]SeemsLegitt 31 points32 points ago

Is it weird that my first thought was that bird is going to taste delicious?

[–]Heatbeat 73 points74 points ago

It's called having compassion..or being a normal human being.

[–]bluegreenwookie 17 points18 points ago

mine was close. "lol whats that bird--oh shit hes gonna die"

[–]LeLurker 11 points12 points ago

This kills the bird

[–]fapfapghost 6 points7 points ago

when i seen this picture all i could thinks was... that bird is dead as fuck.

[–]istara 13 points14 points ago

No, it's not weird. It makes you a decent human being rather than a fuckwit.

The picture horrified me. It was wtf in a sad and worrying way, not a funny way.

[–]Gramma42ton 5 points6 points ago

Same here, I just felt sorry for that bird. Good thing it's just CGI.

[–]darthdrg 408 points409 points ago

Is it weird that this picture has been reposted a countless number of times, but never have I seen anyone say that it's from the movie "Jack and Jill?"

[–]Jon_Fuckin_Snow 877 points878 points ago

That's cause no one saw Jack and Jill

[–]Stewart_Fishington 147 points148 points ago

Except for Darthdrg. Must have been a really lonely viewing by himself.

[–]chimerauprising 152 points153 points ago

It's not that he saw it by himself.

It's that he's the only one still alive.

[–]3danimator 44 points45 points ago

My wife and i started to watch it, thinking "ok, lets do this, we know it will be very bad, but it might be so bad its funny..."

WRONG!

[–]KuffoKnight 8 points9 points ago

A problem I will soon rectify.

[–]FiiVe_SeVeN 9 points10 points ago

NO... i made it... i crawled home for 15 miles, we were the only survivers... it was a slaughter, a setup. THEY WERE JUST KIDS!

[–]Nutella_the_Hun 17 points18 points ago

The only explanation is that he is Adam Sandler.

[–]SgtBaxter 6 points7 points ago

Easier not to get caught whacking it when you're in an empty theater.

[–]drmrcaptkingpres 5 points6 points ago

sadly i saw jack and jill and i honestly dont remember this bird,wow what a terrible movie

[–]lotus-codex 9 points10 points ago

I was forced to watch that film a few weeks ago and it was kind of worth i to see where this chocolate fountain bird came from.

[–]frita 39 points40 points ago

Thanks for saying so - I always worry about the bird.

[–]Troll-Catcher 48 points49 points ago

It died shortly afterward from being exposed to Adam Sandler.

[–]cold_fire149 3 points4 points ago

I thought it died from shame, knowing it was in the movie.

[–]rakuenCallisto 3 points4 points ago

Correction: The bird was simply commiting suicide and got caught on film.

[–]pansitlukban 16 points17 points ago

These 4 pictures are leagues more funny than its 4 second movie equivalent.

[–]commentsurfer 10 points11 points ago

I don't care where this is from... I died laughing.

[–]solidfox535 17 points18 points ago

RIP :(

[–]mikemcg 12 points13 points ago

commentsurfer was a good commenter and surfer. He loved to comment and surf. I remember once, we were in... sniff I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm okay. Hoo, okay. Yes. We were in Hawaii on a work vacation together and man did we have a good time. After a long night of drinking we decided to hit the beach to start a bonfire. commentsurfer actually found a piece of drift wood, paddled himself out in the ocean, and surfed that sucker right back to the shore! It was amazing. Even more amazing, he was sharing this story as a comment on Reddit as he was doing it. The man just... loved commenting and surfing so goddamn much. I... excuse me, I can't do this.

[–]Noobtard_McCancerfag 7 points8 points ago

Yes. It's also extremely odd that nobody made the obvious 'chocatoo' joke.

[–]the_boat 2 points3 points ago

Someone in the comments mentioned it was from "Jack and Jill" the last two or three times I saw this image.

[–]blueboybob 7 points8 points ago

Actually I post often that it is from that movie. Usually saying "congratulations you laughed at the movie Jack and Jill"

[–]TheDeparted 115 points116 points ago

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdRvlLZLI6c

I 100% prefer the images...

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points ago

Wow. I don't think I've ever see something pull such a 180 on being funny just by showing the original scene not in stupid still frame form. It's usually the other way around here.

[–]Phoequinox 57 points58 points ago

Oh god, I thought the movie looked shitty enough, what the fuck?

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points ago

It's fake? Damnit.

[–]Thorus 49 points50 points ago

It's not fake. I've seen it in a movie.

[–]N-Bluth 10 points11 points ago

Well now the image is no longer funny to me.

[–]MDAndrewM 46 points47 points ago

It is a CG bird from an Adam Sandler movie. That is all.

[–]haiku_robot 22 points23 points ago

It is a CG 
bird from an Adam Sandler 
movie.  That is all.

[–]shitterplug 38 points39 points ago

You should be called shatner_robot.

[–]BBLiuKang 45 points46 points ago

Sprinkles.

[–]Abdullah-Oblongata 8 points9 points ago

and whipped cream

[–]BHATCHET 5 points6 points ago

and a cherry

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

Only took a few comments down to see i am not clever or original. Downvoted you for stealing the comment from my brain

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

I think that it is sad that the first answer to OP's question is the 5th most popular anwer so far. upvoted.

[–]Rapistsmurf 2 points3 points ago

and bananas ... parrots love bananas!

[–]my_name_is_revelent 44 points45 points ago

chocolate rain

[–]combivent 7 points8 points ago

Forecast to be falling yesterday Chocolate Rain Only in the past is what they say---Tay Zonday

[–]gavintlgold 18 points19 points ago

HE MOVES AWAY FROM THE MIC TO BREATHE

[–]no_egrets 4 points5 points ago

Forecast to be falling yesterday
Chocolate Rain
Only in the past is what they say---Tay Zonday

Add a double space at the end of your lines for a line break, or a double carriage return for a paragraph break.

[–]chumpette 3 points4 points ago

Chocolate pain

[–]My_Broken_Wings 5 points6 points ago

With a strawberry dipped in white chocolate to set the mood.....

[–]mogfir 5 points6 points ago

Still a cleaner chocolate fountain than in any Golden Coral.

[–]creepypaste 2 points3 points ago

Golden Corrals have chocolate fountains now?!

[–]itsinthebone 4 points5 points ago

I am pretty sure I saw a commercial for it...wouldn't eat anything out of it out of fear that people probably put their cock'n'balls in it.

[–]peachibabi 6 points7 points ago

A cherry!

[–]Natenaters 5 points6 points ago

Death by chocolate.

[–]MirandaMarvelous 6 points7 points ago

After he's filled up they should cook and consume.

[–]TarantusaurusRex 4 points5 points ago

With a maraschino cherry.

[–]redditor401 21 points22 points ago

So what's wtf worthy about this?

[–]EpicJ 16 points17 points ago

Adam Sandler dressed as a woman.

[–]scnavi 22 points23 points ago

Adam Sandler still making movies.

FTFY

[–]gonesnake 5 points6 points ago

Video please

[–]ColonicIrritation 16 points17 points ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdRvlLZLI6c

prepare to be underwhelmed.

[–]Scarmasu 3 points4 points ago

yeah definitely better in the picture.

[–]gynoceros 4 points5 points ago

I believe they call that a Chockatoo.

[–]WildCardSR 2 points3 points ago

Strawberry on top, before it hardens.

[–]Alabama_Man 2 points3 points ago

It's CGI from the Adam Sandler movie Jack and Jill.

[–]Oli_ 3 points4 points ago

YOU TOP IT WITH THIS! Skip to 1.33 if you're impatient

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=j-wwbO4LUMY#t=36s

[–]Warjizzard 4 points5 points ago

With a cherry.

If you know what I mean.

[–]Paperpurr 2 points3 points ago

This is the original scene from Jack and Jill. If you watch this it's not funny anymore. It's shit.

[–]Wilfae 2 points3 points ago

[–]jpiglet 2 points3 points ago

FYI, this isn't real. It's from a movie.

The photo series is composed of stillshots from a scene in the 2011 Adam Sandler movie Jack and Jill where Poopsie, Jill’s talking cockatoo, jumps into a chocolate fountain. A behind-the-scenes review of the computer effects needed to film the movie, including the CGI needed to create the bird inside the fountain, was posted to FX Guide on December 15th, 2011. The scene won an American Human Association PAWSCAR Award for Best Use of Technology on film in 2012.

Source: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/events/chocolate-bird

[–]needpie 2 points3 points ago

with chocolate, apparently.

[–]hypnonewt 2 points3 points ago

My first thought was Han Solo in Carbonite.

[–]sp00kyd00m 2 points3 points ago

who would ever really wanna go and top that? top that!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQ00laVt62c&feature=youtube_gdata_player

[–]azonfrelli 2 points3 points ago

by not watching jack and jill.

[–]Yanrogue 2 points3 points ago

This kills the bird.

[–]analytic 2 points3 points ago

I REGRET NOTHINWAARRGGLLWARGLLBRARGLBHAL

[–]I_guess_this_will_do 2 points3 points ago

Great...

Now there's cereal on my keyboard...

[–]peg_leg 2 points3 points ago

With whipped cream and a cherry - Chocatiel Sundae!

[–]youcanttakemeserious 10 points11 points ago

This has been on /r/funny more than a hundred billion times

[–]barrymacockenya 3 points4 points ago

Paraskeeted.

[–]sellyberry 1 point2 points ago

Sprinkles.

[–]LewisKiniski 1 point2 points ago

You top it with a raven in a white chocolate fountain.

[–]Foley1 1 point2 points ago

It's a chockatoo

[–]tstravers 1 point2 points ago

[–]drak0 1 point2 points ago

BP is at it again.

[–]Chuckgofer 1 point2 points ago

With a cherry.

[–]androidmike 1 point2 points ago

With a little whipped cream and a cherry.

[–]durfherder 1 point2 points ago

Such a letdown to know this was from a Movie, especially an Adam Sandler one. I was cracking up thinking about this happening on a morning talk show.

[–]Buttons111 1 point2 points ago

With crushed nuts and sprinkles.

[–]anchal3 1 point2 points ago

Is anyone other than me grossed out by chocolate fountains? All I can imagine is dust and hair stuck in the chocolate...with a miniature Agustus Gloop contaminating it all.

[–]15blinks 1 point2 points ago

With whipped cream and a cherry, of course.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

you can always try not reposting to top this!

[–]autopsi 1 point2 points ago

By reposting it.

[–]JoeAconite 1 point2 points ago

Bird: "I REGRET NOTHING!"

[–]i_cut_u_up 1 point2 points ago

To those asking if the bird is ok, it was a VFX shot detailed at the bottom of this page. They had a stuffed bird stand in and replaced it with a realistic one digitally.

http://www.fxguide.com/featured/more-incredible-invisible-effects/

[–]Scared_of_Farts 1 point2 points ago

With a question mark at the end of the post.

[–]cjm_d 1 point2 points ago

Twitter's new logo.

[–]smilingasIsay 1 point2 points ago

With a cherry, serve fried.

[–]grimripa777 1 point2 points ago

With a cherry on top

[–]warischoy 1 point2 points ago

My first thought was oh no the chocolate fondue is ruined then I thought it was pretty funny. That bird looks to be enjoying that fondue.

It will die though.

[–]SailorDeath 1 point2 points ago

I'm upvoting this. Not just because it's funny but when I posted it to WTF about a month ago it received 50 downvotes and I was yelled at by the denizens of reddit that it was a repost.

[–]hohlermann 1 point2 points ago

Here's the actual scene from the movie, Jack and Jill - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdRvlLZLI6c

I prefer the still image version.

[–]whut 1 point2 points ago

With a question mark?

[–]C0rvette 1 point2 points ago

Thanks guys, I just got fired. I laughed so hard my boss came over and fired me.

[–]Radico87 1 point2 points ago

This is not /r/wtf material and the people who upvoted it in this subreddit are symptomatic of the garbage quality it's become.

[–]factoid_ 1 point2 points ago

With caramel sauce and sprinkles. Mmmm

[–]TheKittenConspiracy 1 point2 points ago

"Hmmmm what is this?... Whoops.... Oh God!.... Fhkshkshwkswhkswhk" <--- (The sound a bird makes when smothered by chocolate)

[–]slurpme 1 point2 points ago

Polly regrets nothing!!!

[–]Billy_Sastard 1 point2 points ago

It's from a film called Jack and Jill with Adam Sandler, just special effects is all.

Source. Or should I say sauce. ;)

[–]Omofo 1 point2 points ago

With a cherry?

[–]youdoctoryet 1 point2 points ago

...with whipped cream and a cherry.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Sprinkles. You top it with sprinkles.

[–]alboyd 1 point2 points ago

looks to me like it's already topped. Let's dig in! Bon Appetit!

[–]Rapistsmurf 1 point2 points ago

With sprinkles?