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all 76 comments

[–]Dentarthurdent42 31 points32 points ago

[–]watwait1000 5 points6 points ago

Always a good idea to follow with a link to the actual site, so they can get ad revenue. Not always a good idea to mirror, but last time we didn't that for this site, it crashed.

[–]kent_eh 0 points1 point ago

It would if he had any ads today, other than "your ad here".

Bad luck.

[–]ColdWeatherKarl 0 points1 point ago

That is why I always click on both.

[–]Saeveo 1 point2 points ago

[–]levirax[!] 0 points1 point ago

a little late, but i love you. I am now reading these and laughing so damn much...This writer is damn good.

[–]Mosethyoth 34 points35 points ago

I laughed. I can really imagine this to be a reason for demands of god as how narcissistic and envious he is pictured in the bible.

[–]redpariah -2 points-1 points ago

What does this have to do with atheism? It is just anti-god. That is why everyone else on Reddit calls this subreddit a circlejerk. This is not relevant to the supposed topic of this subreddit.

[–]ethanjhayward 5 points6 points ago

r/atheism is really r/christiansareidiots.

[–]ScubaPlays -2 points-1 points ago

Actually the reasoning was that the Devil bet God that the only reason Abraham prays to him is because he has a good life and without a good life he would curse God.

Just as narcissistic and somewhat similar to the Greek gods and how they played their games with humans.

[–]Omahunek 9 points10 points ago

Isn't that Job, not Abraham?

[–]ReticulateLemur 4 points5 points ago

Yeah, but in either story god is still an asshole.

[–]BangsNaughtyBits 7 points8 points ago

I wonder what Jephthah's daughter said, then.

!

[–]Dentarthurdent42 23 points24 points ago

"YOLO"

[–]Duthos 2 points3 points ago

The christian god is not that merciful.

YOLO would be a saint.

[–]eromitlab 6 points7 points ago

And Abraham said, I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone.

And god said, oh, I'm sorry, is this better? Check check, check... Jerry, pull the high-end out, I'm still getting some hiss back here.

[–]Blodbaronen 6 points7 points ago

One would think god would be able to do it himself...

[–]DasPotatomans 1 point2 points ago

"Then I shall crush you with my 'Fat Ass'!"

[–]Deimos56 1 point2 points ago

And that's how the oceans were made, ladies and gentlemen.

[–]i_swear_im_smart 3 points4 points ago

And not scorning the three delightful children who result— who are everything to me and who are my only chance of even a glimpse of a second life, let alone an immortal one, and I’ll tell you something: if I was told to sacrifice them to prove my devotion to God, if I was told to do what all monotheists are told to do and admire the man who said, “Yes, I’ll gut my kid to show my love of God,” I’d say, “No. Fuck you." ~ Christopher Hitchens

[–]theserene 2 points3 points ago

funniest shit i've seen all day

[–]Duthos 2 points3 points ago

The last panel shoulda just been "Abraham..."

[–]mastercheese300 9 points10 points ago

Rererepost

[–]reddit_user13 1 point2 points ago

...out on Highway 61.

[–]Biblebeltbellyache 1 point2 points ago

I have a question. When I go to post something, it alerts me to the many posts that already exists with the same link. Do people just say, "awe fuck it", or does it only alert me?

[–]s4f3gu4rd 5 points6 points ago

For those that may not know the scripture reference, it is Genesis 22:1-12. This is one of those key parts of scripture that atheists and, frankly, quite a few Christians always get wrong. The entire passage is a foreshadowing of God offering his only Son to die for the sins of humankind. (Genesis 22:2, John 3:16)

On top of that, Abraham knew that he would not ultimately have to kill Isaac, or if he did that God would raise him from the dead. In Genesis 13:16 God promised Abraham, "I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth, so that if anyone could count the dust, then your offspring could be counted." As Isaac was his only son, there would be no way for this to come to be had Isaac died that day (or if he had, was not raised from the dead.) Ref Hebrews 11:17-29, "By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had embraced the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, even though God had said to him, “It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.” Abraham reasoned that God could even raise the dead, and so in a manner of speaking he did receive Isaac back from death."

[–]GringoAngMoFarangBo 5 points6 points ago

"I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth, so that if anyone could count the dust, then your offspring could be counted."

I read that as "you will get more replacements for Isaac," why does it have to mean Isaac will not be killed? It says nothing about him rising from the dead.

[–]s4f3gu4rd -2 points-1 points ago

Yes, but you also have to take into account Gen 21:12 (which I failed to reference earlier). Basically what happened is that Sarah told Abraham that Hagaar and Ishmael had to leave. Ismael was Abraham's son, so it upset him quite a bit. He asked God about it and God's response was: "v 12 But God said to Abraham, “Do not be upset about the boy or your slave wife. Do all that Sarah is telling you because through Isaac your descendants will be counted.”

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

What confuses me about this whole situation is that in Leviticus 18:21 it says, "You shall not give any of your children to offer them to Molech, and so profane the name of your God: I am the LORD." From what I've got, Molech is a different god of the times. So they shouldn't sacrifice children to Molech, but if it's for God it is okay? I'm asking this out of pure curiousity, not as a 'I can quote the Bible too' game.

[–]ninjashorty 8 points9 points ago

Ex Christian here. Abraham did NOT know fully that God was going to give him back his son. That passage you gave is taken completely out of context. He was letting Abraham know that his sacrifice was counted, as in, if you make this sacrifice, you will be rewarded. I'm sure Abraham went to the rock in hopes that God was going to change his mind, but God didn't make him go to the rock knowing he was going to save his son.

[–]s4f3gu4rd -5 points-4 points ago

I do not believe that any of the scripture I gave was taken out of context. Would you care to elaborate a bit more to show that it was. If you're referring to the Genesis 13:16 in which God makes the promise to Abraham, keep in mind that this promise was given long before Isaac was born. He reaffirms that promise in Genesis 22:15-19, but that isn't when the initial promise was made.

From the Genesis passages alone, it is difficult, if not impossible, to understand what Abraham must have been thinking. But, the passages in Hebrew make it pretty clear. Heb 11:19 "Abraham reasoned that God could even raise the dead, and so in a manner of speaking he did receive Isaac back from death."

[–]ComputerJerk 6 points7 points ago

Describing this as literary foreshadowing somewhat undermines the idea that this is supposed to be non-fiction.

[–]BeneficiaryOtheDoubt 1 point2 points ago

Except that this non-fiction involves prophecies. All prophecies do is foreshadow future events.

[–]highlogic 0 points1 point ago

If you only do a cursory reading, it is easy to miss the foreshadowing elements. In Gen 22:13 the "substitutionary" sacrifice is a ram that is found caught in a thicket by its horns. This is another example foretelling of the ram-lamb, Christ, being sacrificed with a crown of thorns...

[–]WeeBabySeamus 1 point2 points ago

Is there an Islamic version of this?

[–]Odinulf 4 points5 points ago

I can't believe that people are downvoting you just because you're the other side of the argument. There's no need to downvote because you disagree with the other person's statement - one should only downvote if a comment adds nothing to the conversation. Come on, we can do better than this reddit. :I

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

Nice Biblical insight there, but what does that have to do with the joke? Jokes don't have to be accurate, they just have to be humorous.

[–]M002 0 points1 point ago

must be.

[–]Annoying_Buddhist 0 points1 point ago

I think most Christians would actually enjoy this. (and maybe (just maybe) cause just a little doubt) I just sent it to a couple close Christian friends. I really think they'll laugh. edit: whoops, novelty account was logged in.. oh well

[–]Kowzorz 0 points1 point ago

[–]chknh8r 0 points1 point ago

the prequel to this story is that abraham was told by god many years before he even had his son that his son would grow up a powerful figure. everyone reading that story and the stories before that would know that the bindings of isaac was clearly a test to see if abraham remembered and had faith in what he was told many years prior to this stories events.

[–]coyote1284 0 points1 point ago

In the interest of clearing clutter of posts and malcontents in the comments, someone should make something like /r/pokingfunatreligion for things like this. I can't dedicate the time to cultivate it.

[–]QWOPtain 0 points1 point ago

Poor guy. No way to come back from a "your ass is fat"...

[–]TheBaz11 0 points1 point ago

I am a Presbyterian and this is hilarious.

[–]JonWood007 0 points1 point ago

I loled.

[–]jabberwockysuperfly 0 points1 point ago

[–]LazySkeptic 0 points1 point ago

The ass was fat.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

As a mormon(not 100%, just what I grew up with) this is fucking funny.

[–]Blackmatrix 0 points1 point ago

Even though this has been reposted a billion times I find myself laughing every time

[–]Hamburgsteak 0 points1 point ago

ooooh... so THIS is what happened... make sense

[–]AnAtheistAdvocate 0 points1 point ago

Repost.

[–]2FMS 0 points1 point ago

repost. but as many times as i see this I SHALL UPVOTE!!! :D

[–]RakWar 0 points1 point ago

NEVER SAW IT

All you who saw it so many times need to give the internet a break and go explore life

[–]thegreatwhitemenace 0 points1 point ago

aberhem pls

[–]ProfThynoise 0 points1 point ago

Can someone show me where god actually tells abraham to kill his son? I heard he just told abraham to make a sacrifice and abe was stupid enough to think that was his son then god stopped him and offered a goat instead?

[–]Bambikins 0 points1 point ago

NOBODY can call God's ass fat and get away with it. He's a very insecure person.

[–]Frunzle -3 points-2 points ago

11 - Thou shalt not put the punchline in the title.

[–]NotSureIfGusta_ -2 points-1 points ago

I've seen this a month ago, but upvote anyway.

[–]Tzanthor -1 points0 points ago

the ass was fat

[–]_kst_ -1 points0 points ago

/r/funny has an explicit policy that rehosted webcomics will be removed.

Please show some respect for the artist. Link to the web site; don't copy to another site without permission. Consider the possibility that copyright might have some actual meaning.

[–]mustardjones -5 points-4 points ago

Wow! What a fresh joke! The first Abraham joke of the day.

No, I'm not religious. But jesus christ. Does this joke not get old, ever?

Time to take the slide below the threshold because all of you will downvote anything you disagree with....