this post was submitted on
1,200 points (53% like it)
8,113 up votes 6,913 down votes
shortlink:

funny

subscribe2,374,398 readers

18,522 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).

Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.

If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators

The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.

CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for
to anything interesting: news article, blog entry, video, picture...
message the moderators

MODERATORS

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

1199
1200

When my ex tries to complain about her current boyfriend to me (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Mthep

all 173 comments
sorted by:
best
best
top
new
hot
controversial
old

[–]DrColon 547 points548 points ago

Just not the same without Bert.

[–]what_the_actual_luck 242 points243 points ago

Another one

[–]arcanooito 32 points33 points ago

By far my favorite.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]rube 21 points22 points ago

That statement hurts my brain.

[–]Hammerfist_Pucconi 7 points8 points ago

Try this:

Everything 'Jim Henson' becomes so much better.

[–]rube 10 points11 points ago

I'm still not pleased with it. It's like saying "Everything bacon becomes so much better." So much better with what?

I think this would be better:

"Everything becomes so much better with Jim Henson."

[–]nulspace 8 points9 points ago

I'm still not please with it

AHAHAAAAAAAAAAA

[–]rube 2 points3 points ago

:(

What are you talking about? It never said that. :)

[–]nulspace 1 point2 points ago

the comment asterisk betrays your shame!

[–]Jinnofthelamp 5 points6 points ago

It's a garden path sentence, or a sentence while technically correct is misleading. My favorite: "The old man the boat."

[–]guinness_blaine 0 points1 point ago

...fuck. That one got me pretty well.

[–]ListenHear -1 points0 points ago

I laugh errtim

[–]anonymousrapeface -5 points-4 points ago

Am I the only one who was disappointed in her new song sing it... I only listen to Rebecca black to make fun of her and this one isn't as retarded as her other ones.

[–]hansthecleverhorse 76 points77 points ago

What, you think I'm some kind of joke?

[–]wanderso24 3 points4 points ago

My favorite reaction gif

[–]jean-paul_kierkemarx 1 point2 points ago

I think this may be the first thing on Reddit to make me officially lose my shit. Thank you for that :)

[–]bricardo 0 points1 point ago

It's amazing how something that was funny to me as a kid, is even funnier as an adult.

[–]vocalon 0 points1 point ago

... I feel as if I should say something witty but I'm lost for words.

[–]bricardo 0 points1 point ago

Shit. I meant kid. That was good for a laugh.

[–]kevinwoodward 0 points1 point ago

"If dis nigga don't shut da fuck up..."

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]bentonetc 27 points28 points ago

Good news! We invented multiple-word sentences a while ago.

[–]ZeMilkman 2 points3 points ago

That. Is. Great. How. Do. They. Work?

Kind of. Like this?

[–]sashaaa123 7 points8 points ago

Almost there buddy!

[–]ScrewNutNbolt 3 points4 points ago

I enjoy this one

[–]xOois 1 point2 points ago

haha this one was hilarious.

[–]2nd2no1 2 points3 points ago

came here for this, was not disappointed.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

Do you even lift?

[–]bottlefed97 1 point2 points ago

Dammit I dug up the Bert .gif from my archive of funnies and got all excited...

And then the first comment burst my bubble :(

[–]Gublush 27 points28 points ago

Man, I miss Entourage.

[–]123fakerusty 5 points6 points ago

I wish the last season didn't suck so bad. Not one pair of tits the entire season!

[–]Gublush 0 points1 point ago

I hear you bro.. A glimpse of Salon's tits was the only perfect ending. They fucked it

[–]clintbeastw00d 28 points29 points ago

Fiddy cent aint got time to listen to no ho drama

[–]Sherlock--Holmes 10 points11 points ago

"Yes, I do know what you are saying."

[–]sensors 4 points5 points ago

god dammit /r/reactiongifs !

[–]Warlizard 106 points107 points ago

If you dumped her, why the hell are you still hanging around her?

If she dumped you, why the hell are you still hanging around her?

Oh, and although people say, "It was mutual," it almost never is.

EDIT: To all the people pointing out that men and women who dated can be friends -- you'll notice that the ENTIRE thrust of his post is that he bolted as soon as she started talking. That doesn't indicate friendship.

[–]Mthep[S] 36 points37 points ago

I still have her on skype and the message came up and I srsly did that face and exited out.

[–]dirtyduck383 103 points104 points ago

You should have told her, lets talk about this over a nice meal of my dick.

[–]so_carelessly_here 22 points23 points ago

Am I invited?

[–]dirtyduck383 21 points22 points ago

To partake in the meal or help provide said meal?

[–]so_carelessly_here 30 points31 points ago

I like you. You're cautious.

[–]dirtyduck383 9 points10 points ago

Thank you, but this still doesn't answer the question.

[–]so_carelessly_here 13 points14 points ago

It certainly does not.

;)

did the winky face answer the question?

[–]dirtyduck383 10 points11 points ago

I guess interested in the meal.. well you better get over here before your meal gets cold.

[–]so_carelessly_here 14 points15 points ago

It's ok, I like cold cuts.

[–]bdams19 10 points11 points ago

"Are you into fitness these days?" "Yea... why" "HOW ABOUT FITNESS DICK IN YO MOUF"

[–]TheSeashellOfBuddha 0 points1 point ago

unzips I didn't put it out for air.

[–]dirtyduck383 0 points1 point ago

Pop! there's my penis.

[–]imafunghi 0 points1 point ago

good man.

[–]N05f3r47u 10 points11 points ago

Hey, it's that guy from the gaming forum!

[–]dan2737 4 points5 points ago

What was it? BattleGecko?

[–]N05f3r47u 4 points5 points ago

I think it was FightReptile.

[–]dracy69 9 points10 points ago

after roughly 6 months to a year a girlfriend converts back into a friend.

this process is seriously supported when you have mutual friends.

it also helps when it wasn't a really long term relationship to begin with and she didn't tear your heart from your body by using craigslist to cheat on you in your house while you aren't home after being together and living together for years (or some similar story).

[–]paullyjunge 5 points6 points ago

Oddly specific scenario....

[–]dracy69 0 points1 point ago

It was an ask Reddit post a month or so ago.

The only Reddit breakup story I remember

[–]paullyjunge 0 points1 point ago

oh, good. I was worried you went through that, internet stranger. that would suck.

[–]dracy69 0 points1 point ago

No not me but somebody else did :(

[–]hopegigalo 3 points4 points ago

"...but this was mutual." i sincerely hope you were waiting for someone to finish that office quote.

[–]OrangeNova 3 points4 points ago

You've never had a normal break up? You've never became friends with an ex?

[–]Doilyn 76 points77 points ago

I still talk to most of my ex's, because they are cool people. I don't date people who suck. Is this somehow difficult to comprehend?

[–]Nabeshin82 39 points40 points ago

You likely also don't date people that took the romance plunge seriously with you. If you were both deeply invested in the relationship, there would naturally be some friction about the breakup. After all, no matter how awesome a person is, whatever caused the breakup means there was some friction in the first place. And it was enough that someone chose to change course instead of staying. Not trying to be a dick, just trying to help you understand why people who are in serious relationships often can't be friends right away.

[–]Doilyn 10 points11 points ago

I'm not saying there won't, or shouldn't be, friction and difficulty after a breakup. For myself, the incompatibilities that caused the breakups were never anything that made me think less of them as people. I admit I sounded harsher than I meant in my comment, but it is in response to an even harsher message. Breaking off a relationship is not the same as breaking off a friendship, and while they do often occur together, why would you ever think less of someone for wanting to stay friends with people they connect with?

[–]CaisLaochach 9 points10 points ago

I always seemed to adopt a scorched earth approach in the aftermath of breakups. I think the highlight was losing the head at an ex who told me she couldn't keep talking to me because she still loved me. I was decidedly undiplomatic about that.

[–]scoobyduped 6 points7 points ago

How many X chromosomes do you have?

[–]Vidyogamasta 1 point2 points ago

I'll give you my situation and hope it puts things into perspective a bit-

I was heavily invested in the relationship. I love(d) her deeply, and due to my view on love, a breakup isn't going to stop that. I don't know why the breakup happened, but in the end she told me I wasn't going to get more chances. We DID try to keep a friendship going, and we mainly talked to each other about schoolwork and random crap that didn't matter. It ended up not working, though, because she figured that my contact with her was what was keeping me stuck on her, so she did what she thought was best and broke the friendship as well. Of course it didn't help any, 2 years later and here I am, but there really are situations where keeping a friendship isn't really healthy or possible. I still think she's a GREAT person, and she doesn't really think ill of me either, but it's just not going to work.

[–]ismokeblunts 2 points3 points ago

I know how you feel man. I wake up dreaming about her and my heart just aches all day

[–]roho1 1 point2 points ago

smoke a blunt and try to step back, realize concentrating on something lost will only cause you to miss and overlook new opportunities to make yourself happy

[–]ismokeblunts 0 points1 point ago

An then I run through a list of everything I want and I describe her. My only hope is that this world is so vast I can find someone who fits me even better. And then I think I could just fix what I did to cause her to leave me. And then I think about the futility of all o that and lose all desire to live. Then I walk around aimlessly looking for death only to be surprised by the endless beauty of life. And that's why I do drugs- so I have a reason to keep going.

Looking back at this I almost deleted it out of shame but that's not right. I'm so god damned depressed spending a mental eternity within a world I dreamed up myself seems almost preferable.

[–]Vidyogamasta 0 points1 point ago

I'm feel EXACTLY the way you do, except I've chosen not to do drugs. My entire self-image is based on being a good partner for a good woman someday, so I just need to keep building myself up and make myself desirable. On a side-note, it's especially challenging for me, because my ex's mom is best friends with my mom, and my sister is best friends with her. At family gatherings (that happen a few times a year), I have a VERY high chance of running into her, and to cope I just spend all day in my own little shell instead of having fun with the family that I don't get to see often. It's pretty miserable.

But anyway, you should look around, and you'll be surprised at the traits you like that original girl DIDN'T have. Like, my original girl was the "free spirit" type. She was spontaneous and had fun with what she did, though it was prone to getting her into trouble (and is probably a big factor in her spontaneously leaving as well). Now I'm about to go on a date (and hopefully, start dating) a girl that appears to be more solid and introvert. And honestly, she looks better too =P

Like, it's OKAY to feel awful about the relationship ending. I wouldn't even recommend trying to forget about it, and anyone who tells you to do so is an absolute moron. What you DO need to do is make sure that your moping doesn't keep you from starting anything new. Be open to other options, be willing to get to know someone, even if they're not exactly your idea of perfection.

[–]ismokeblunts 0 points1 point ago

Oh I'm open to new options. I openly consider every female I see haha. I'm so desperate to be held. And I hide all these feelings deep down inside

[–]invest_in_grapes 0 points1 point ago

schoolwork

that's why it didn't work.

[–]Vidyogamasta 0 points1 point ago

Ehh, I've always been one to think that kids are a lot more mature than adults give them credit for. I'm only like 20 now, but that's still a stance I don't plan to abandon with age. Plus, now I'm in college so there's still the concept of "schoolwork," and relationships to me now are just as real as they were 4 years ago. I think it COULD have worked, but her personality drove her to want to explore options rather than get too deep into a committed relationship, and she probably told me "never again" because she didn't want me to just shut out everyone else and wait for her. Believe it or not, kids CAN assess a complex situation and make a thought-out decision, and berating them for the age when they decide to do something is petty and destructive.

[–]zakool21 0 points1 point ago

That's an overly simple and naive way to look at it, and assumes neither party has enough maturity to maintain a semblance of a friendly relationship after the romantic one has ended.

[–]Lindsw 5 points6 points ago

My ex and his wife stood at my wedding. I think I only have a couple exes that I don't/won't talk to. Those guys are also the ones that I didn't take the time to know before we started dating. I try to know people before I date them, easy way to avoid the crazies.

[–]i_hax 4 points5 points ago

while i consider that to work, it's not always the case. i dated a girl who was a very good caring friend for 6 years prior. several months into the relationship she tells me she loves me - one week later hops ship for a guy she just met, and then wonders why i don't want to be friends. i know this is just my opinion - but you don't truly know anyone until you've been in a relationship with them.

[–]lilrabbit129 5 points6 points ago

Similar principal to why you don't become roommates with your best friend.

[–]Toastfrog 9 points10 points ago

I am friends with my ex as well, he has a new gf and has complained to me about her.

[–]PolardOOd 25 points26 points ago

And he complained about you to other people.

[–]Toastfrog -1 points0 points ago

Probably... I know I complained about him! :)

[–]imafunghi 1 point2 points ago

thats exactly why i wouldn't want to be friends with my exes.

[–]Toastfrog 0 points1 point ago

Nah, he was my best friend for 3 years, that doesn't just go away when you break up. We are still friends, i just told him not to moan to me about her because I don't care.

[–]Zee2431 0 points1 point ago

Drake-the real her

[–]Teekoo 14 points15 points ago

Is this somehow difficult to comprehend?

Is it too difficult for you to comprehend that people might seem decent at first, only to be revealed as completely different person once you get to know their ugly side?

[–]PandaC 19 points20 points ago

Ooof. You've been hurt, haven't you?

[–]zapu 6 points7 points ago

Haven't you?

[–]PandaC 3 points4 points ago

I... I....

It's none of your business!!!

[–]mirkle 9 points10 points ago

Me and my hand have something to reduce friction so it doesn't hurt.

[–]ENKC 4 points5 points ago

Do you believe in life after lube?

[–]Teekoo 0 points1 point ago

In relationships? Not really. In friendships, yes?

[–]grimpoteuthis 1 point2 points ago

Same here and one of them was a 3 year relationship. We didn't talk for awhile but we went to all the same shows so seeing each other was inevitable so we started to play nice.

[–]gweilo 0 points1 point ago

I am currently going through this, any advice? It's seemingly superficially civil at the moment.

[–]anonymoushenry 1 point2 points ago

Give it time.

[–]TheDroopy 0 points1 point ago

I date people who suck but they end up being the ones I don't talk to afterward

[–]JavaLSU 11 points12 points ago

Believe it or not, people have had different relationship experiences than you.

[–]sehrfine 1 point2 points ago

Isn't that the plot of How I met your mother?

[–]kanst 3 points4 points ago

I dont get this. Many people have told me I shouldnt be talking to my ex.

Why cant exes remain friends. I am still friends with my ex-girlfriend. We talk/text every so often. We were friends before we dated why cant we go back to friends after?

[–]Norrisemoe 3 points4 points ago

Normally you break up for a reason which causes you not to want to be around that person that you were intimate with. They treat you poorly, whatever reason. So If you still are around this person and you talk what has changed besides the lack of sex? If you break up on amicable terms then fair enough but normally people become invested in relationships one more than the other and whoever breaks it off upsets the other one.

[–]kanst 1 point2 points ago

There was definitely upset after the breakup, and we didnt speak at all for a few weeks. But she got over it. I still value her as a person so I still try to remain in contact.

This is one of the reasons I have avoided dating friends (even if I am very attracted to them) because of the fear of not being able to reform the friendship if it doesnt work.

[–]max_damage78 1 point2 points ago

I have had a similar experience as kanst. We were friends before, tried dating, agreed that there were some sexual incompatibilities but still valued each other as friends so we broke it off in order to see other people. We've even gone on double dates a couple of times.

I look at her in the same way I do my family.

[–]starlinguk 4 points5 points ago

You don't seem to have an awful lot of experience with relationships?

[–]redbeardo 0 points1 point ago

I imagine in about 4% of cases it was mutual. And 50% of people pretend it was theirs.

It's highly plausible with 6 billion people that it was a case of mutual non-attraction.

[–]lilrabbit129 0 points1 point ago

I don't talk to any ex except the last one. The last one had special circumstances that forced us to talk and interact quite a bit after the break up. We still talk every now and then.

[–]cycopl 0 points1 point ago

Who hurt you? Want a hug dude?

[–]bearodactylrak 0 points1 point ago

Not all relationships end in a firestorm of cheating, tears, and hate. I'm friends with 3 of my exes (in varying degrees). It usually takes being away from them for a time to allow feelings and habits (such as calling them pet names) to dissolve, but typically I've found that I had these people in my life in the first place because we shared some kind of connection beyond sex/love. You share a common bond, time spent together, and experiences. Exes often know you better than platonic friends can. It can be a rich and rewarding friendship, providing both parties are mature enough to handle it. That said, I also have exes I don't talk to precisely because they aren't mature enough to handle it.

[–]CowboyNinjaD 0 points1 point ago

I think a break up can be mutual when both people end up hating each other. But that doesn't exactly lead to a lasting platonic friendship.

[–]ixiz0 -1 points0 points ago

Some people are mature enough to realize a relationship isn't working and can end it, or put it off without being little kids about it.

[–]Bohica69 7 points8 points ago

WTF are you still talking to her? Facepalm.

[–]fishebulb 2 points3 points ago

Why would you talk to your ex?

[–]Chyndonax 2 points3 points ago

My ex tried to complain once. I laughed uncontrollably for several minutes. She has never said another word about any boyfriend since.

[–]tikkibakka 1 point2 points ago

I love when you have seen the GIF so many times you don't even need to wait for it to load to get the joke....

[–]CaptainDickbag 1 point2 points ago

I dated a girl very briefly who would burst into tears, post-coitus, and cry to me about how she missed her ex.

That didn't last very long.

[–]StarCass 3 points4 points ago

She wants you

[–]p_U_c_K 3 points4 points ago

When my ex reminds me she exists

[–]laneage 5 points6 points ago

Gets better homie

[–]Anon1E1Mouse 3 points4 points ago

let me put it to you this way mate.

took me 3 hard months to get over my ex. All she ever did was put me down, and come over for sex every now and again. Bitch completely destroyed my self-esteem. It's been over a year now, and I can hardly remember that fucker. Whenever I do now, I just laugh and remind myself how amazing I am.

Graduated college before her while she is currently struggling with classes,

Have a fantastic girlfriend who doesn't toy with me emotions, and will support me in my enthusiasm,

Winning tournaments, and training for half marathons,

Steady job that encourages higher education.

Best of all, after she broke up with me, I kept all of the friends that I met through her, who have stayed loyal to me to this day.

It really does get better, homie. All you have to do is forget about her, and remember what makes you so god damn awesome.

[–]vocalon 0 points1 point ago

That URL... random korean gifs

what

[–]urmombaconsmynarwhal 6 points7 points ago

FTFY http://i.imgur.com/Zjwo4.gif

[–]greymatters_flipside 4 points5 points ago

Hey, that cap is missing a sticker!

[–]revengeofrosencrantz 1 point2 points ago

Now how will we understand his current financial status?

[–]scribeofmedicine 0 points1 point ago

WHY ISN'T THIS PURPLE?

[–]Anonazon2 0 points1 point ago

"Hey exboi, I'd like some ammo to dominate this new relationship with but I can't figure out exactly what I can complain about in my new boyf. I don't feel like thinking so can you do that for me?"

[–]metman9192 0 points1 point ago

haha nice

[–]drboom 0 points1 point ago

lol, totally agree with this one.

[–]iliveinyourattic 0 points1 point ago

Gotta love a repost

[–]chud_rocket 0 points1 point ago

upvotes are not enough. i want to take this post and its mother out to a nice dinner, and tell its mother how good of a post she made. Then i want to take the post's mother out on a life changing year long vacation all around the world where, after some heart wrenching moments and long talks, she finally feels comfortable and beautiful in her body. Then i would take her home and bring her back to her post daughter. Then i would pay every one of the post's college tuition bills and write her inspiring letters about how proud me and its mother were of its success in life. That is how much i like this post.

[–]eshoweb 0 points1 point ago

I don't talk to my Ex's.

[–]JMets6986 0 points1 point ago

Fixed

[–]moral_orel 0 points1 point ago

I did not expect fiddy cent in a gif.

[–]Brosephbro 0 points1 point ago

Or you could be like my friend and let her ruin your life again.

[–]kegar 0 points1 point ago

Poor Turtle

[–]watchout5 1 point2 points ago

Replace with "when this married lady complains about her current husband to me" and she had the balls to call me clingy. I didn't want to be her friend anyway.

[–]daggersNcents 0 points1 point ago

Some girl's are very good at hiding their true nature. I dated one for 3 years that for the first 2 saved all the crazy like she was gaining 15%apr interest and in the last year she let all that back end inflation go. She was impossible to talk to, out of control horny, hopelessly dependent on xanax and ambient, tried to jump out of a moving vehicle and succeeded after the car was slowed and to top it off almost got a buddy and I killed. Of course I don't blame her for any of it as she was trying to live up to ridiculous standards set by the American job market but I sure as hell would not see her or speak to her EVER again.

EDIT: Barring she seeks professional help.

[–]atheos 3 points4 points ago

out of control horny

That's all I got out of your rant.

[–]daggersNcents 0 points1 point ago

still bat shit crazy

[–]BigDaddy_Delta -2 points-1 points ago

Well, the horny part dosent sounds bad to me

[–]norcoboy 0 points1 point ago

What movie is this from?

[–]Claress 4 points5 points ago

Not a movie, it's from Entourage I think.

[–]NeiLiuM 6 points7 points ago

It is in fact from Entourage season 6. When Turtle gets a Ferrari California from Vince for his birthday.

[–]norcoboy 0 points1 point ago

Ahh yes, I remember now. Thanks.

[–]KatMackie -1 points0 points ago

Hahaha "fuck this..........."

[–]smr312 -1 points0 points ago

HAHAHAHAHAHA yes

[–]pitlord713 -1 points0 points ago

amazing use of this .gif

[–]djmordigal -1 points0 points ago

That's pretty pathetic of your ex.

[–]aesamattki -1 points0 points ago

More like "when I hear about someone else who still wants to be friends with their ex"

[–]thecoldfish -3 points-2 points ago

You transform into 50 Cent and drive away smiling in your Bentley?

Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. © 2012 reddit inc. All rights reserved.

REDDIT and the ALIEN Logo are registered trademarks of reddit inc.

π Rendered by PID 13061 on app-23 running 152ff4e.