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all 112 comments

[–]Journalisto 119 points120 points ago

That was on the wall? Yeah. Did the vandal hold a typewriter up to it?

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

McDonalds can literally do whatever the FUCK they want.

[–]Siethron 43 points44 points ago

[–]Whenthenighthascome 116 points117 points ago

Fixed your link so it goes through properly:http://i.imgur.com/mzm6b.jpg

[–]Siethron 30 points31 points ago

Sorry, didn't feel like uploading to imgur just for little comment joke, and the link worked perfectly for me so I had no idea. My deepest apologies reddit.

[–]Whenthenighthascome 31 points32 points ago

Nah man, no probs. Just making sure people get your joke.

[–]Bendrake 15 points16 points ago

Good guy Redditor. Didn't downvote to hell and poke fun, aided in humor attempt. Love it

[–]Whenthenighthascome 11 points12 points ago

Thanks man, just trying to be good.

[–]time2303 0 points1 point ago

Not difficult to reupload it with imgur using the browser addon. Just right-click, upload rehost image.

[–]hyperdub5 1 point2 points ago

What happened to the caption from this picture?

[–]Whenthenighthascome 0 points1 point ago

I don't know what you mean.

[–]hyperdub5 9 points10 points ago

Happened to find it on my hard drive: http://i.imgur.com/fIDMp.jpg

[–]Whenthenighthascome 0 points1 point ago

Oh nice.

[–]tyrantlytamale 0 points1 point ago

No, his name is Edward.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I liked it.

[–]forgeticus 14 points15 points ago

[–]Bendrake 2 points3 points ago

Read this in his voice.

[–]buster2Xk 1 point2 points ago

I think everyone does.

[–]sithmaster0 1 point2 points ago

I read it in Barry White's voice.

[–]ModstRob 0 points1 point ago

lucky man.

[–]somethingpretentious 0 points1 point ago

With your username I was expecting something else...

[–]forsstromftw[S] 0 points1 point ago

I don't think there is a way to prove this is real, but it really is. It was taken in Gothenburg, Sweden. There is no way I'm going back to take another picture.

[–]CrackedPepper86 0 points1 point ago

You and everyone else on reddit.

[–]toddjunk 96 points97 points ago

I arrived at an office complex for an interview and as I approached the door, I saw bullet holes in it. It was not a nice neighborhood and I had never been there before, so after seeing those, I turned around, never even touching the door.

I walked back to my car and just as I was about to open its door, I heard a voice:

"Are you toddjunk?"

I turned around and saw a disheveled business man - he's wearing a suit, but his hair is messed up, part of his shirt is coming untucked and his tie is crooked.

"Nope," I say quickly "never heard of him; need to be going now."

He came closer "But you're dressed up, in a neighborhood with no other businesses. You're here for the job interview right? Please come in."

"Sorry, don't know what you're talking about," I was getting very creeped out. "I need to be going."

"I know who you are. PLEASE come in!" He did shout the word please. I know my eyes bulged a little and my mouth came open. I didn't respond to him, I got in the car, slammed the door and locked it.

He kept coming closer to the car, so I revved the engine, which was really pathetic in a 4 cylinder. He stood back and just kept mouthing "Please" at me. I drove off.

[–]Nabonidus3 73 points74 points ago

Wow.. that was surprisingly depressing

[–]AGATECH 13 points14 points ago

The best laugh I have had in a long time, and I have had a crappy few weeks.

[–]unclear_plowerpants 42 points43 points ago

Did he look like this?

[–]xNiji 6 points7 points ago

Don't I get a lick? Doesn't Gil get a lick?!

[–]toddjunk 0 points1 point ago

Add a jacket and yes, it's a close match.

[–]mjolnir616 0 points1 point ago

Even though I am more than 80% sure that toddjunk isn't a bright yellow, 2-dimensional cartoon character, my mind was only capable of picturing the would-be interviewer as Gil.

[–]champer 25 points26 points ago

I kind of feel bad for that guy the way you wrote it.

[–]RiPotato 9 points10 points ago

Yeah.. But I still want to know why there were bullet holes.

[–]Zoroko 7 points8 points ago

and what was the job interview for?

[–]drunk98 12 points13 points ago

Bullet hole remover?

[–]toddjunk 11 points12 points ago

The company I was actively working for at the time had just gone through a large layoff so many of us became worried about job security. The job in question had a very vague listing on Monster; against better judgment I applied anyways due to my circumstances.

After leaving the place that morning, I shared my story with coworkers (at this point, we're all so sure the place is going to go out of business, we talked openly about new employment opportunities) and one coworker, Michael, said he applied there as well and was still going to go to the interview the following day. I tried to talk him out of it, telling him that while I know it might sound silly, I had a strong gut feeling that things were not good there and he'd regret this.

Michael did not show up for work the following day and we were all concerned. We tried to tell each other that maybe things went really well and he was so confident that he felt he didn't need to come into work.

He did show up the next day though and we all pretty much immediately started hounding him for details. He confirmed the place and employees were as sketchy as I had previously described, except a bit worse. He said the inside of the small business was dilapidated: poorly lit, yellowing walls (some with wallpaper freely dangling loose), a door hanging by just one hinge, missing ceiling tiles and he could hear a toilet running the entire time he was there.

He said he was promptly led to a van for an "on the job demonstration." They drove to an even worse neighborhood, a good 20 minute drive away. I'm sure many of you see where this is going. It turned out to be a house to house salesman type of job. They were trying to sell knives. There were three other new recruits there - all were unsuccessful that day. Michael said he regretted it quickly and spent most of the day in the van. The manager refused to drive him back to the office so he could drive into work. He was out with them from 8am to 3pm. They did stop for 30 minutes at McDonalds, which had been previously described as the company would pay for lunch but the manager (Gil) accidentally only brought $5 with him so they all had to pay for their own.

We all asked why didn't he just bail at some point during the day and try to walk back to his car. He said there were no windows in the van - that it wasn't a true passenger van, but a basic, stripped out van with the four of them squatting in the back trying to brace themselves against the sides when Gil would make a turn. So he had no clue where he was. This was in 2001 and he didn't have a cell phone, so he couldn't call any of us for help. I know cell phones were pretty common then, but I'd say about 1/3rd of my coworkers didn't have one.

[–]Zoroko 0 points1 point ago

sellin knives in the hood huh? No wonder the business was dilapidated.... shouda been sellin gats in the hood lol.

but seriously... wow.

[–]Philo_T_Farnsworth -1 points0 points ago

They were trying to sell knives.

Cutco?

[–]Deddan 6 points7 points ago

Professional Meat Shield and Data Analyst.

[–]Zoroko 1 point2 points ago

soooo... uhh what kinda job was the interview for?

[–]hinckley 0 points1 point ago

Well, if you do go around under the moniker "toddjunk" I'm afraid you will attract a certain element.

[–]lanismycousin -1 points0 points ago

I don't get it? is this some sort of meme?

[–]Styvorama 0 points1 point ago

Mommy can you read me a bedtime meme?

[–]Icewaved 18 points19 points ago

Are the quotations messed up?

[–]DarkTwistedFantasy 16 points17 points ago

When I saw it, I thought "this is so annoying

[–]loudnclear 5 points6 points ago

[–]N05f3r47u 32 points33 points ago

)

[–]nbenzi 4 points5 points ago

exhale

oh thank god.

[–]nowayride 2 points3 points ago

I thought the same, "Finally a closed parentheses.

[–]DoobisntDobb 2 points3 points ago

"

[–]nowayride 0 points1 point ago

"Oh no you don't

[–]DoobisntDobb 0 points1 point ago

, I can do this forever."

[–]resqual 2 points3 points ago

Haha yes I think so. Looks like somebody corrected it by hand.

[–]Satans_pro_tips 7 points8 points ago

Do vandals carry big rubber stamps now? Back in my day we defaced property one word at a time.

[–]Herborist 9 points10 points ago

"Every time I go to the bathroom and I see all of the graffiti, I always wonder... why are so many people taking a shit with pens?"

[–]zarraha 5 points6 points ago

10 people with pens out of thousands of customers is only 1%, but suddenly your stall has 10 messages.

[–]benjaminck 16 points17 points ago

Does no one know how to design around line breaks? Ugly typesetting.

[–]FlyingPasta 4 points5 points ago

How?

[–]Aseconverse 26 points27 points ago

Is it so hard to think that maybe the McDonald's put this on the wall?

Come on, guys.

[–]terreann 14 points15 points ago

But it's slanted the wrong way... Although, I guess it IS McDonald's.

[–]downvotesmakemehard 2 points3 points ago

McDonald's is the most precise company you will ever have the fortune to know. If it was slanted by them, they would have 3 consumer studies backing up the reason why and tell you exactly which angle to the half degree makes the most money on Tuesdays between the hours of 2-3pm.

[–]JesterAzazel -1 points0 points ago

Dat slant..

It's just OP getting around the rule about pics of text..

[–]Seligas 2 points3 points ago

This sounds like all my blind dates.

[–]onedavester 2 points3 points ago

does this guy have a rubber stamp?

[–]steamboatdavey 2 points3 points ago

the person could have gone to calligraphy camp you know

[–]mmss 7 points8 points ago

one time at calligraphy camp I stuck a serif up my ass

[–]rolyat99 1 point2 points ago

Were you sanserif for the rest of the camp?

[–]zoso33 1 point2 points ago

[–]RoyGaucho 1 point2 points ago

[–]mmss 2 points3 points ago

I am immortal.

[–]Gallifrasian 2 points3 points ago

I knew a girl in high school who had perfect Times New Roman and Courier handwriting. We used to say the teachers would read her work twice, just for fun.

[–]spriteburn 2 points3 points ago

[–]superhipster303 4 points5 points ago

This is obviously fake. The angle of the words doesn't match up with the angle of the wall. I can't be the only one to notice this?

[–]DaveAlt19 0 points1 point ago

Then perhaps the text was painted on at an angle to the wall?

Still, does it matter? What's the joke here, what the text says or where the text is?

[–]daniibabanii 1 point2 points ago

I saw that in a hotel in NYC too. I believe Park Central was its name?

[–]libertitties 1 point2 points ago

Yup, it's on the wall there, too. I stayed there with my dad and brother during the hurricane last summer. For entertainment, they would walk downstairs, read it, and laugh manically while encouraging others to join in.

I cannot ever find this amusing again.

[–]gasms 1 point2 points ago

Moral of wall story:
No matter how delicious a Big Mac may be, Linda will never show. :(

[–]rgalzera 1 point2 points ago

as a richard i now know never to go on a blind date with a woman named linda

[–]LORDJEW_VAN_CUNTFUCK 1 point2 points ago

I don't get it.

EDIT: Closed the tab. Got it. Re-opened the tab. Wrote this edit.

[–]straighttothemoon 1 point2 points ago

Has /r/gameoftrolls taken over?

[–]I_am_not_angry 1 point2 points ago

just needs a forever alone guy

[–]HerpvonderpingtonIII 0 points1 point ago

Ouch

[–]jgibran 0 points1 point ago

This vandalism is so neatly written.

[–]alexanderfsu 0 points1 point ago

Why has no one who has commented on this so far thought that it was perhaps a cardboard stencil and spray paint. They come out very decent and are very indiscreet.

[–]Vexar 1 point2 points ago

Why is it at such a weird angle, though?

[–]alexanderfsu -1 points0 points ago

They held it crooked? It's easy for it to be a few degrees off?

[–]Vexar 0 points1 point ago

That's a lot more than a few degrees.

[–]alexanderfsu -1 points0 points ago

a) No it isn't.

b) If it was done by 1 person holding the stencil and spray painting it, it could be easily done like that because of haste of from not being able to tell because you are so close to it.

c) Even if a second person was holding it, the mess of arms/bodies could account for it.

d) If it's in a bathroom, again done in haste, it's clearly not a professional art piece.

e) I don't think you've ever done a stencil so I would like to believe that I know more about this than you do and thus, I can fairly say it isn't very many degrees. It's under 5 deg from being parallel.

[–]sprkng 0 points1 point ago

The perspective is also wrong. If it was real and you looked at the wall from straight ahead one side of the text would be much bigger than the other.

[–]Vexar 0 points1 point ago

[–]alexanderfsu 1 point2 points ago

If it's fake it doesn't matter, if it's real it's moderately funny and poorly done?

[–]nirgle 0 points1 point ago

This is that story about that guy and that hot girl and the not so hot girl and the seemingly not so hot ending actually being really hot. I thought everybody knew this story?

[–]ejduck3744 0 points1 point ago

Her first hint that he was no good was his suggestion to go to McDonalds for a date.

[–]tootleloo 0 points1 point ago

Someone get a marker and add the needed opening quotation mark!

[–]scott_lobster 0 points1 point ago

And Rodney Dangerfield continues to get no respect.

[–]douff 0 points1 point ago

My initial reactions: How did she guess his name?!

[–]MiamiFootball 0 points1 point ago

Isn't this from the movie, Burn After Reading?

[–]tehweave 0 points1 point ago

Maybe it was because you were at a McDonalds.

That being said... Why did she come there in the first place...

THIS RAISES TOO MANY QUESTIONS.

[–]BrobaFett 0 points1 point ago

That took me embarrassingly long to get the joke (in my defense, I'm in a stupor). My first pass interpretation was that linda was some marvelous cold-reader capable of guessing his name and then surprising him with her astounding abilities with the big reveal: I'm not Linda (I'm actually an awesome mentalist).

[–]MustacheRod 0 points1 point ago

This is originally from some of Rodney dangerfield's standup. Great joke teller.

[–]tenehemia 0 points1 point ago

Weird. My parents' names are Richard and Linda. True story.

[–]Koreansuhoissexy 0 points1 point ago

Well that's depressing...

[–]EquationTAKEN 0 points1 point ago

But there are 5 double apostrophes. Whoever took the time to do all that should feel bad.

[–]Willard2566 0 points1 point ago

See 134..."The Fuck?"

[–]poopfartcrap -1 points0 points ago

THEN WHO WAS PHONE

[–]shadeofmyheart -1 points0 points ago

photo shopped....perspective is off.