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top 200 commentsshow all 483

[–]MasterBettyPain 103 points104 points ago

Hmm, I'll kill him. I'll kill him dead. Like, with a rock or something. Like a, like a stone!

[–]RelevantToMyInterest 20 points21 points ago

Your username... has never been so relevant until now

[–]ShitsCrazyMan 10 points11 points ago

But isnt Betty ... a woman's name?

[–]EvalJow 13 points14 points ago

I implore you to reconsider.

[–]b3rto14 396 points397 points ago

One of my favourite quotes ever: "THAT'S A LOT OF NUTS!!" Sadly, the reference is lost on my friends...

Edit: typo

[–]telindor 228 points229 points ago

THAT'LL BE FOUR BUCKS BABY WOULD YOU LIKE FRIES WITH THAT

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]IEnjoyRush79 56 points57 points ago

Swingin a chain, Swingin a chain.

[–]ArcWrath 20 points21 points ago

Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. MHMM, Bird! Birdy birdy.

[–]palliot 23 points24 points ago

Pay no attention to Wimp Lo, we purposely trained him wrong... as a joke

[–]Ampid 7 points8 points ago

I am bleeding, therefore making me the victor.

[–]ploeg8393 3 points4 points ago

I mean, i ain't no doctor, but it was like one clean chunk.

[–]thechaserx 8 points9 points ago

So. What are you guys doing later? I was gonna order a pizza or score some chicks or sumthing.

[–]sonnyD635 8 points9 points ago

Let me know if you see a Radio Stack.

[–]ArcWrath 8 points9 points ago

You guys go that way, I'll go home.

[–]LuckyBucket 44 points45 points ago

Sadly the sequal was cancelled because of low funds n stuff

[–]LuckyBucket 68 points69 points ago

And my favorite quote "I am bleeding, making me the victor"

[–]soilednapkin 47 points48 points ago

Your foot to my face style. How'd you like it!

[–]jono201283 21 points22 points ago

"How bout my nuts to your fist style!"

[–]rellz 30 points31 points ago

"You go that way I'll go home"

[–]PannaLogic 10 points11 points ago

He said to stop when he gave us the signal, did anybody see the signa--SMACK

[–]gto1969jdg 10 points11 points ago

if you ladies are done kissing ive got some ass kicking for you

[–]senior_migz 6 points7 points ago

"And who do you rule, the large, dark-nippled people?"

Classic

[–]iLama 15 points16 points ago

Would be awesome if the sequel could be revisited through funding via kickstarter or something.

[–]hENNIFER 9 points10 points ago

kickstart that shit

[–]Mr_Fly22 5 points6 points ago

And it was supposed to be a trilogy too. One of my favorite childhood movies.

[–]Greymor 27 points28 points ago

Look in the background of that scene, and you can see Pringle cans.

[–]MrCassian 6 points7 points ago

They added those because his original line was something along the lines of "I'll take all the Pringles you have."

[–]ScottCarmichael 12 points13 points ago

"Taco Bell. Taco Bell. Product placement with Taco Bell. Enchirito nacho burrito!"

[–]joeyxl 5 points6 points ago

This is why i live on reddit.

[–]Kool_AidJammer 33 points34 points ago

that and "BUT MASTA I THOUGHT ONE DAY I COULD BE THE CHOSEN ONE!" "ah, again with the squeaky shoes"

[–]icecrmsandwich 32 points33 points ago

PLAY ME LIKE A DRUM!

[–]AwesomeNameGenerator[S] 81 points82 points ago

Oh god. I need to rewatch this.

[–]shadyk84 46 points47 points ago

It was the hardest I've ever laughed at a movie, and only one other person I've ever met has liked it.

[–]mahaugher 45 points46 points ago

That sucks man, me and my friends quote that all the time.

"You go that way, I'll go home!"

[–]Koreatalian 6 points7 points ago

I use that line just about every day of my life, and I have yet to meet one person that understands it.

[–]Kairu927 15 points16 points ago

I read this as "the only other person I've ever met has liked it."

Man... talk about a case of depresslexia...

[–]WesnileD 7 points8 points ago

Ya, I'm with you. My friends suck!

[–]Bext 26 points27 points ago

Chosen one!

I'm coming!

Chosen one!

I'm coming!

Chosen one!

I'm coming!

[–]scamperly 46 points47 points ago

one time I was at work when I was a telemarketer, and a coworker in front of me pulled out a HUGE bag of grapes from his desk. Calls were coming through slowly so I shouted out:

"THAT'S A LOT OF GRAPES!".

Then, I hear in my headset a very frightened woman say "Hello...?"

I hung up and never spoke of it again.

[–]diddybop22 38 points39 points ago

I'M A LITTLE BIRDY TOO!!

[–]running_to_the_hills 37 points38 points ago

I have been called bad before, many people have said I do things that are not correct to do, I don't believe in talk such as this. I am nice man, with happy feelings, all of the time. First, a joke. What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? .....

My ass. Hahahaha, ENOUGH.

[–]Ameisen 10 points11 points ago

Please, please, we wouldn't want to lose any more toes here!

[–]running_to_the_hills 5 points6 points ago

ooh, that's tender

[–]Roughneck-13th 34 points35 points ago

I'd have to say my favorite was, "You killed my whole family... and I don't like that type of thing."

[–]guydudeman 12 points13 points ago

I'm so glad I'm not alone. God, it's such a stupid, and fantastic, movie. I love it so much.

[–]the_littlest_viking 15 points16 points ago

Swingin the chain... swingin the chain...

[–]Jn1135 11 points12 points ago

Awww so cute....bye bye! baby rolls down hill

[–]TheDreadedMarco 27 points28 points ago

"how many miles did you walk? Would you say . . . one million?" "no. not that many."

for some reason that dialog kills me

[–]DrCowboyFace 25 points26 points ago

HE JUST LEFT. WITH NUTS.

[–]nixnaxmik 32 points33 points ago

THAT'LL BE FOUR BUCKS BABY! YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?!

I know the feeling. Sucks that the reference requires you to shout too.

[–]Wulfay 9 points10 points ago

[–]seieibob 8 points9 points ago

Yes, yes, play me like a drum.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

Wwwhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeee.

[–]prezuiwf 8 points9 points ago

Same! I've said it a few times and not only don't they get the reference, but I sound like a crazy person.

[–]nickack 6 points7 points ago

That'll be four bucks, baby! You want fries with that?

[–]allubros 4 points5 points ago

Ohh TACO BELL, TACO BELL, product placement with TACO BELL. Enchirito...

MACHO BURRITO

[–]jamesdavid80 5 points6 points ago

"I would like one pound of nuts please?!" ...

[–]SirClueless 2 points3 points ago

"We are both ventriloquists. Ventiloquists! Ventriloquists! We are both ventriloquists and we practice every day."

[–]Phish777 142 points143 points ago

I am a great magician! You're clothes are RED!

[–]AwesomeNameGenerator[S] 81 points82 points ago

Your clothes are blue

[–]ircarlton 42 points43 points ago

RED CLOTHES.

[–]allubros 4 points5 points ago

RRRRRRRED CLOTHESSS!

[–]DefinitionOfBadass 21 points22 points ago

WOLOLOLOL

[–]MrGstarRawr 2 points3 points ago

[–]Jonthrei 3 points4 points ago

I randomly say this more often than I'd care to admit.

I'm 26.

[–]shenana 2 points3 points ago

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

....BLACK CLOTHES!

[–]kyzfrintin 3 points4 points ago

I am clothes?

[–]Nawlie 106 points107 points ago

My nipples look like Milk Duds!

[–]clouds31 19 points20 points ago

I have chosen the large tub...

[–]LordShaggy 17 points18 points ago

GO GET SOME SNACKS

[–]Jared6197[!] 20 points21 points ago

PERHAPS A CARBONATED SODA?

[–]LordShaggy 7 points8 points ago

I HOPE THEY HAVE ICEES!

[–]mbchris 4 points5 points ago

I've got some warm yellow liquid for your popcorn...and it's non dairy!

[–]youamnorealsupersand 13 points14 points ago

I got some yellow liquid for your popcorn...and it's not dairy :D

[–][deleted] 74 points75 points ago

I see the way you look at him. I'm a man, too, you know? I go pee pee standing up.

[–]igrokspock 8 points9 points ago

Let's see how you like the your-fist-to-my-face technique!

[–]AwesomeNameGenerator[S] 65 points66 points ago

We are ventriloquists ventriloquists ventriloquists, we practice every day

[–]Broteezy 16 points17 points ago

Our! Sexual! Preference! Is! Our! Own! Business!

[–]Jared6197[!] 5 points6 points ago

He carries the baskets.
He carries the paper roll.
And we don't have cysts. But one thing is for sure my friends, we are ventriloquists.

[–]flowersintheattic 4 points5 points ago

"We are both ventriloquists and now we're upside down :("

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

We're children, we're children, we're children.

[–]AwesomeNameGenerator[S] 92 points93 points ago

It's a net. And it's tiny.

[–]invader_jun 21 points22 points ago

Yes, a tiny net is a death sentence, it's a net and it's tiny!

[–]mbchris 14 points15 points ago

Choooooosen oooooone!

[–]invader_jun 6 points7 points ago

I'm coming!

[–]alexdoo 4 points5 points ago

Choooooosen oooooone!

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

IM COMING

[–]styxman34 3 points4 points ago

I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED BY A TINY NET.

[–]that_girl_on_reddit 29 points30 points ago

Tell me if you see a RadioShack...

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

Taco bell, taco bell, product placement with taco bell.

[–]rtechnix 5 points6 points ago

enchiritos, nachos, burritos!

[–]Its_Always_420 25 points26 points ago

Taco Bell, Taco Bell. Product placement with Taco Bell.

[–]clouds31 12 points13 points ago

Enchirito, nacho, burrito!

(Also relevant username)

[–]Thechampx1 112 points113 points ago

Yes yes a thousand times yes!! I was just thinking this. I watched this movie (Kung Pow: Enter The Fist) again on netflix recently and man...it was even weirder than I remembered. I mean, he defeats the cow by milking its udders? ಠ_ಠ

Edit: Udders not utters!

[–]Ree81 70 points71 points ago

I want the sequel so bad.

[–]Dieck_Pwns_All 13 points14 points ago

Do you realize that the sequel thing was merely a joke? I'm pretty sure that they aren't actually making another

[–]Trapt45 42 points43 points ago

They're not. They made the preview from deleted scenes from the first movie

[–]Leoneri 19 points20 points ago

It saddens me to no end.

[–]Dieck_Pwns_All 5 points6 points ago

I thought so, thanks for confirmation!

[–]TheGuero 2 points3 points ago

I waited for that sequel for years.

[–]Japock 3 points4 points ago

We all did. We all did.

[–]Exdarryn 4 points5 points ago

Im still waiting

[–]spamato 15 points16 points ago

WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE?!

[–]Ree81 6 points7 points ago

Yes. Still want it.

[–]jherazob 2 points3 points ago

I wanted that sequel, plus Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money

[–]Tensuke 26 points27 points ago

Man, that really is a smooth hole.

[–]tysole 38 points39 points ago

I mean is that even possible, with cartilage and bone...

[–]telindor 41 points42 points ago

I mean it was one clean chunk

[–]PyromaniacalSalesman 22 points23 points ago

I mean I'm no doctor, but...

[–]destructograbme 7 points8 points ago

That's like his stomach plug. On the ground back there.

[–]VestaDear 10 points11 points ago

Oh my god, this was not on netflix the last time I looked. Watching the shit out of this tonight.

[–]nixnaxmik 13 points14 points ago

Good. Its the greatest movie ever made.

[–]Freak490 11 points12 points ago

THAT'S ALOT OF NUTS!!!

[–]Tyranastrasz 2 points3 points ago

http://www.hejibits.com/comics/nintendont/

What i think of nintendos new systems when i hear of them..

[–]snoharm 2 points3 points ago

Thank you for being that one person who actually mentions the title.

[–]busy_child 21 points22 points ago

Rub it all in my hair

[–]LordShaggy 16 points17 points ago

You just broke a thermometer in my hand

[–]Fucha 8 points9 points ago

"At night he partied with the desert creatures"

[–]DrCowboyFace 40 points41 points ago

Jesus J. Christ "Kung Pow" is the most quotable movie ever.

[–]Lemmiwinks0141 41 points42 points ago

What do you get when you mix an owl with a bungie cord? My ass nyahyahaha ENOUGH.

[–]CoNiGMa 55 points56 points ago

ba-na-na-na-na...Neo....ba-na-na-na-na-na-na...sporin

[–]Dick_Serious 9 points10 points ago

This part made me laugh so hard I cried for like 10min and I have no idea why.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

Let me know if you see...ughhh....a radio shack.

[–]Voltage_ 16 points17 points ago

Gentlemen... from this day forward, you will all refer to me by the name... BETTY

[–]Broteezy 2 points3 points ago

Isn't that a woman's name??

[–]zero_armada 17 points18 points ago

This entire thread is about 80% Kung Pow quotes.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

-INTERMISSION-

[–]KunGEE 36 points37 points ago

Ha! Face to foot style! How'd ya like it?

[–]s1nz 8 points9 points ago

Then try my nuts to your fist style!

[–]NameUserYouWill 4 points5 points ago

Thats my fave too! I'm bleeding, making me the victor!

[–]AP3Brain 2 points3 points ago

Favorite character!!!

[–]carsontl 17 points18 points ago

Where? Where does it hurt?

Oh pretty much around the big bloody spot.

[–]s1nz 15 points16 points ago

"Goodbye Sally." "It's Betty you son of a pig... Betty. mmrmrrrrmmrrrrr"

[–]VaguelyCondescending 13 points14 points ago

Your days are over, mister

[–]AmmitttheDevourer 15 points16 points ago

YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO BEAT HIM NOW!!!!!!!

[–]CuseTown 11 points12 points ago

I'm falling, we're falling. WHALLEEE!!!

[–]beaverteeth92 13 points14 points ago

"He said there will be a chosen one."

...

"There will be a chosen one."

My god I love this movie. Saw it in theaters when I was 9 with my dad because some generic kids' movie was sold out. It was one of my first "dirty" movies and we laughed our asses off the entire time. I've seen it like 50 times to this day and every time I still find it amazing.

[–]trippinhobbit 13 points14 points ago

"Then he told me of the significance."

...

"It will be significant."

...

"And then, he killed the dog."

...

"HEERRUUUUUGGGGNNNNNN" FART NOISE

[–]PaintyFilms 25 points26 points ago

The exchange between Ling and Betty had me absolutely dying the first time I saw this movie.

[–]Ree81 22 points23 points ago

I am Lingling's father, WII U, WII!

[–]styxman34 3 points4 points ago

Oh dear.

[–]Dieck_Pwns_All 23 points24 points ago

"I implore you to reconsider"

[–]amadeus2490 8 points9 points ago

. . .okay!

[–]ptwfrynzie 11 points12 points ago

My finger points.

[–]LightningLips 31 points32 points ago

If you have an ass, I'll kick it

[–]The_Ombudsman 10 points11 points ago

Gopherchucks.

That is all.

[–]Skimster 10 points11 points ago

  • Stop! You're hurting me!
  • Come on, this works for the both of us.

[–]Darthferret 9 points10 points ago

wimp lo is cool.... Taco bell taco bell, product placement taco bell, inchorrito nacho burrito...

[–]guanylate 9 points10 points ago

Explain this someone?Thanks.

[–]CHEWS_OWN_FORESKIN 37 points38 points ago

This is a screencap from the motion picture Kung Pow: Enter the Fist. The character in the picture is dubbed over as constantly saying WEEEYUUU WEEEYUUUU in a terribly high pitched and comical voice. Check out the movie if you want a solid laugh.

[–]Geno098 26 points27 points ago

Well said, CHEWS_OWN_FORESKIN.

[–]CHEWS_OWN_FORESKIN 8 points9 points ago

Thank you, good sir.

[–]DHend10 7 points8 points ago

Master Pain it is a great honor to have you beating random people in our town. For anyone who hasn't seen this movie seriously take 2 hours out of your day to have a good laugh, you won't be disappointed.

[–]MasterNyx 8 points9 points ago

Beware his song about big butts, he beats you up while he plays it.

[–]Zpierce5 26 points27 points ago

Chosen one, I'm coming, chosen one, I'm coming, chosen one, I'm c...

[–]reacher 6 points7 points ago

Chosen One! Wcccchhhhhhh!!!!!!

[–]MikeySedds 8 points9 points ago

"Chosen one!" "I'm coming!" "Chosen one!" "I'm coming!" "Chosen one!" "I'm coming!" "Chosen one!" "I'm coming!"

[–]jason_steakums 6 points7 points ago

We trained him wrong, as a joke.

[–]NoSpoonz 6 points7 points ago

Killing is badong.

[–]mbelf 6 points7 points ago

Tiger. Birdie.

[–]Vorsai 5 points6 points ago

Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo

[–]marcus_s123 17 points18 points ago

Ooohhhhh WiiU, I look just like Buddy Holly.

[–]stefanopolis 3 points4 points ago

I didn't until now, thanks. And I mean that in the most sincere way possible.

[–]WhoeverThatGuyIs 5 points6 points ago

Unfortunately I think of this song...

Edit: Oh lawd... I found this related video in my YouTube plundering.

[–]widergravy 5 points6 points ago

Let your anger be like a money in a piñata. Hiding amongst the candy. Hoping the kids don't break through with the stick. -master tang

[–]blah3blah 5 points6 points ago

We're children, We're children.

[–]Raging_Llama 5 points6 points ago

"A Panicked Thumb" was my favorite character

[–]Shabus 2 points3 points ago

WE'VE BEEN HIT!

[–]LerithXanatos 3 points4 points ago

[–]MrWeirdlust[!] 6 points7 points ago

This is one of the longest upvoting sprees I've had in a while.

[–]kullakure 5 points6 points ago

THAT'S A LOT OF NUTS!

[–]InterstellarPancake 4 points5 points ago

Rats...

I spent a good minute trying to think of a good one about the Wii U Wii U ambulance sirens.

You win.

[–]Leroy_J 3 points4 points ago

We've taught him that winning is losing, and losing is winning...

[–]TaintedSquirrel 3 points4 points ago

http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/htxm1/wii_u_wii_u_wii_u_wii_u/

Same top comment, too. Reddit is fascinating.

[–]hatTiper 3 points4 points ago

12 Hours ago I would have never understood this. Watched it last night, and now I am quietly chuckling inside.

[–]too_toked 4 points5 points ago

I don't want you to think I'm a slut!

[–]HoneybeeProfessor 2 points3 points ago

Take me man meat!

[–]Iasktoomuch 2 points3 points ago

But isn't Betty. a girls name?

[–]capncaveman 2 points3 points ago

and who do rule, the large dark nipple people?

[–]LordShaggy 2 points3 points ago

Does it have a name?

Tonguey

I should not have asked

[–]Pappy1193 3 points4 points ago

How far would you say....one million?

You will now receive the fist of fury. Prepare the long rubber glove.. eenie meenie mineie moe I wonder where my glove will go.

[–]CVarga 4 points5 points ago

One time my aunt called me Debbie (which is not my name) and I turned around and said to myself, " The name is Betty! Mmhhmmmmmm aahhhhhh!!"

[–]otisramflow 11 points12 points ago

[–]eff_bawmb 2 points3 points ago

Damn it! Beat me to it...

[–]Mr_Mimiseku 2 points3 points ago

I approve of this. On a relevant note, THAT'S ALOT OF NUTS!!!

[–]ca_anon 2 points3 points ago

I can't stop thinking of this!

[–]boomking5 2 points3 points ago

KILLER TOFUUUUUU

[–]matty509 2 points3 points ago

You can call me....BETTY!!!

[–]MasterxAce 2 points3 points ago

Tell me when you see a Radio Shack...

[–]Leechie 2 points3 points ago

I think this

[–]LibrarianKay 2 points3 points ago

I think of this, myself.

[–]tuffgoing 2 points3 points ago

I want to upvote this man meat, but I'm afraid you'll think I'm a slut!

[–]jamesdavid80 2 points3 points ago

Wegggthsp!" .... cant escape this tiny net!" watched that movie 4 times 5 times still laughed... "He carries a basket, he carries a paper roll" "you cant trick me with your ventriloqism ventriloquists." next thing they said after that made me laugh so hard...

[–]jambeeants 2 points3 points ago

OPEN YOUR MOUTH!

[–]villageidiot33 2 points3 points ago

One of my favorite fight scenes with the crazy legs. The part where I always lost it was that fake leg hitting the guy in the back

[–]majense77 2 points3 points ago

The title of "Enter the Fist" takes on a whole new meaning than what it did when I was 12...

[–]youamnorealsupersand 3 points4 points ago

"My name is Wo" stares at one boob "oookayy" "you can not defeat master pain" "it's Betty now..." "Oh...you can not defeat Betty"

[–]poopfeast420xxx 6 points7 points ago

I don't browse reddit very often but I made an account just to upvote this. This is exactly what I thought too.