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all 188 comments

[–]deadfield918 47 points48 points ago

So that's why Bigfoot is just a legend now... I've always wondered...

[–]nibbling_totoros 30 points31 points ago

Roosevelt could have easily taken him bare fisted, but decided to handicap himself by using a gun. It was the honorable thing to do.

Don't believe me? Ask all the Australians who challenged Ol' Teddy to an arm wrestle. Oh wait. You can't. They are all dead.

[–]Drake_Tungsten 7 points8 points ago

It's also a fairly inaccurate depiction since it's a well established fact that any gun Teddy ever used fired testicles.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

Someone needs to get this picture to the guys at finding bigfoot!

[–]VideoScourge 20 points21 points ago

"Rustle these Jimmies!"

[–]Stephen_foster 6 points7 points ago

Amy good gorilla, Amy.

SHUT UP BITCH

[–]JESUS_X_MOSES 1 point2 points ago

Gorilla warfare.

[–]Eats_Beef_Steak 11 points12 points ago

According to the Oatmeal and kitten lovers, Ben was a douchenozzle.

Edit: I WAS WRONG!! its edison. Disregard! DISREGARD!!

[–]dragonblaz9 11 points12 points ago

You're thinking Edison, I think.

[–]Eats_Beef_Steak 5 points6 points ago

Aahh! Honest mistake.

[–]Stylux 2 points3 points ago

Franklin was also a douche though.

[–]mrcharlietango 11 points12 points ago

I've always regarded Edison as an older Steve Jobs. He wasn't the great inventor everyone made him out to be, but he was a sort of revolutionary. Taking the work of others and putting the business spin on it to sell it to the masses and create large markets. Its actually pretty impressive in its own right, but the persona doesn't fit the reality.

[–]I_AM_Jailbot 1 point2 points ago

this actually applies to gates a lot more except Bill Gates wasn't a total dickwad

[–]Caustic_Marinade 1 point2 points ago

?

Source?

[–]forghatfulness 0 points1 point ago

http://sharpwriter.deviantart.com/gallery/

Had it bookmarked since the last time this on reddit. Been waiting for this day to show the world this amazing artist once again

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]forghatfulness 0 points1 point ago

whop, sorry, guess i forgot the context

[–]DatGeodude 1 point2 points ago

Why the actual fuck are there so many of these

[–]Kubaker1 1 point2 points ago

'MERCIA!

[–]da1hobo 0 points1 point ago

He's not grounded! Zeus is powerless to stop him!

[–]AgentDaedalus -3 points-2 points ago

Warhammer Assault Marine anyone?

Another

[–]maximumutility 0 points1 point ago

flashback to nerd youth

Isn't that second picture a dude named Captain Shrike or something like that? I thought the Raven Guard were cool as shit.

[–]AgentDaedalus 0 points1 point ago

Something like that. I don't really remember this name anymore. Lol.

[–]LittleBigKid2000 16 points17 points ago

It's a bear with a monocle and top hat holding a blood-covered spear with the american flag on it riding Abraham Lincoln who is shooting lasers out of his eyes. 'merica.

[–]kyle1320 2 points3 points ago

The bear is actually Teddy Roosevelt.

[–]cworker 12 points13 points ago

That is obviously a Sasquatch you ignorant swine.

[–]SirDigbyChicknCeasar 31 points32 points ago

Exactly. These unpatriotic, un-American guys piss me off. You should always remember the great Sasquatch Uprising and how our brave soldiers, led personally by President Roosevelt himself, quashed their rebellion for the good of the world. We'd all be speaking in growls and grunts if it weren't for them.

And furthermore I am sick and tired of the Sasquatch sympathizers trying to further malign the bear nation by placing the blame on them. I see through your pinko-commie-Sas loving lies.

[–]Osiris32 11 points12 points ago

My grandfather fought on the front lines of that war. 51st Foot Trackers. He saw things that he never told me about, but he handed down his old rifle, which had 87 kill hashes, and with his dying breath, told me, "Keep it oiled, son. Someday, they'll be back."

[–]TheAbominableSnowman 2 points3 points ago

History is written by the victors.

'twas simply a fight for freedom, not an attempt to usurp humanity's rule.

[–]MechanicalMeatbag 2 points3 points ago

Yea, the Spanish-American war was a weird period in US History.

[–]freemeth 1 point2 points ago

Bubs what the fuck is a samsquantch?

[–]MrJuwi 0 points1 point ago

For some reason, I read that in Jeremy Irons' voice.

[–]LettersFromTheSky 20 points21 points ago

Washington had to fight Zombies - actual artist webpage.

You can buy prints.

My favorite one that I own is: FDR the Battlemaster. I love FDR and well that is a pretty kick ass picture.

[–]nibbling_totoros 4 points5 points ago

No one fucks with the Roosevelt family

[–]8bitmage 0 points1 point ago

How did Washington ever survive? Shooting them in the chest cavity is just going to piss them off and make them want to eat his face off.

[–]TrogdorLLC 8 points9 points ago

"Washington, Washington, six foot twenty weighs a fucking ton."

He was just shooting them in the chest to provide a hand-hold for when he ripped them into pieces.

[–]ajwright486 0 points1 point ago

Upvote for the Neely reference.

[–]myfajahas400children 1 point2 points ago

That's no bear, that's Bigfoot.

[–]leatherheadff 0 points1 point ago

I've got mad respect for Lincoln as a man and a President, but he has shitty gun handling skills.

[–]ANONANONONO 0 points1 point ago

My boss at work has this as his background. I think it's to ward off the terrorists.

[–]Gray_F0x 0 points1 point ago

I have this poster. I ordered it from this dude's Etsy store. It's on my wall at work. :)

[–]mlhradio 41 points42 points ago

One of my favorite real events in US History is the Great Molasses Flood of 1919

"...Molasses, waist deep, covered the street and swirled and bubbled about the wreckage. Here and there struggled a form — whether it was animal or human being was impossible to tell. Only an upheaval, a thrashing about in the sticky mass, showed where any life was... Horses died like so many flies on sticky fly-paper. The more they struggled, the deeper in the mess they were ensnared. Human beings — men and women — suffered likewise..."

[–]illmastabumptwo 4 points5 points ago

"Now that's what I call a sticky situation"

[–]wrath_of_grunge 5 points6 points ago

more upvotes for this man.

edit: i just finished reading this article about it. really one of the more bizarre things to ever happen. what a oddly funny way to bite it.

[–]Daksund 1 point2 points ago

That reminds me of calculus, this was used as an example for some boring shit about surface pressure of liquid in closed container or something. Dammit now my night's ruined (didn't do too well in that class)...

[–]Im_honest_okay 9 points10 points ago

This is fake... they didn't have M60's back then

[–]bozoskeleton 5 points6 points ago

At first glance I though it was a BAR, but you are right, I'm pretty sure it's an M-60.

NOT ACCURATE.

[–]f03nix 0 points1 point ago

Hey man, the govt. already has a time machine ... they just didn't tell us about it !!

[–]Siethron 20 points21 points ago

[–]Cheeseish 19 points20 points ago

My favorite moment is when Abraham Lincoln went and killed a bunch of vampires.

[–]WillBlaze 3 points4 points ago

whoever thought this movie was going to be a good idea is taking the wrong drugs

[–]tophermeyer 11 points12 points ago

Honestly read the book. It's fun. It's a pretty light read, but still very epic and the author neatly fits the vampire hunting into some legit Lincoln history.

But if badass historical figures battling the ravenous undead isn't your thing, you're gonna have a bad time.

[–]WillBlaze 1 point2 points ago

There is a book for this movie?

I guess I shouldn't judge it until I watch it, but the whole thing seems pretty ridiculous.

[–]tophermeyer 5 points6 points ago

Yeah. The book was released a few years ago. And based on the popularity of the book, the movie came to be.

It is pretty ridiculous. But once you get past that, it's a really fun story. The novel is written as Lincolns personal journal following his dual lives as statesman and vampire hunter. It allegedly includes a handful of legitimate journal entries from his actual journals, though I'm not enough of a historian to confirm that.

The book is seriously one of the better novels I've read in the last few years. But I'm a fan of the alternate history genre already, so it's right up my alley. Your mileage may vary.

[–]killafofun 0 points1 point ago

thats the idea, just suspend belief for a bit. be entertained. enjoy the movie. realize its not 'real' history.

[–]themadscientistwho 0 points1 point ago

Or the right ones!

[–]iAmJimmyHoffa 2 points3 points ago

My favorite is this.

[–]jsandler18 6 points7 points ago

Nice, now I can catch and downvote reposts that I haven't seen.

[–]explosivo85 8 points9 points ago

speak softly, and carry a big mother-fucking gun.

[–]rumbar 3 points4 points ago

or maybe this?

[–]LinguistHere 2 points3 points ago

This is my favorite. Doesn't even need bears to be awesome.

Edit, the next day: I'm so happy this got some upvotes! Responding to a joke with a non-joke doesn't always go over very well.

[–]odolanrules 6 points7 points ago

not the SAMSQUATCH

[–]The_Baconing 2 points3 points ago

It's the samsquantch Ricky I saw it!

[–]FemaCampDirector 0 points1 point ago

It's not real Bubbles.

[–]odolanrules 0 points1 point ago

i forgot the "n", i have shamed my family....

[–]samsquamsch 1 point2 points ago

THE WHAT?

[–]Seamus_OReilly 3 points4 points ago

Why the EFF is Groucho Marx shooting Chewbacca?

[–]molmu 1 point2 points ago

he just carried the us flag all the time

[–]TheAbominableSnowman 1 point2 points ago

That was my cousin, you insensitive clod!

[–]firebat707 1 point2 points ago

Come on get your facts right.............. a B.A.R. is not belt fed Pfft

[–]bozoskeleton 0 points1 point ago

I think it's an M-60. They look very similar. Thanks to Im_honest_okay for getting the make right.

[–]I_have_a_dog 1 point2 points ago

Wow, totally unbelievable. There weren't that many stars on the flag when Teddy Roosevelt was President. Everything else checks out, though.

[–]CSec064 1 point2 points ago

well lets see... cigar, nuclear belt buckle, a BAR, Roosevelt looking calm and collected firing that BAR one handed, holding a GIANT flag, massacring big foot as the forest burns.

This is a serious question: how does an artist figure out how to accurately put this many awesome things together? I was dumbfounded at how great this is. lmao.

[–]HaveBSinMEWillTravel 0 points1 point ago

It's not a BAR as it appears to be belt fed.

[–]CSec064 0 points1 point ago

I don't see a belt, it's probably just an artist's imaginative "gun" and it happens to have BAR characteristics to me which I also put in the category of "awesome."

Oh god. There's a big foot in the background being burned alive.

[–]kingmebro 1 point2 points ago

[–]Ghostalker474 1 point2 points ago

Take that Canada!

[–]Needmorecowbe11 1 point2 points ago

The artist who made this is Jason Heuser. He also has one of Washington fighting a Bengal tiger while at sea and several other prints. This is his profile page at deviantArt

[–]Pepper_MD 1 point2 points ago

Walk softly and carry a big clip.

[–]nope_cubed 3 points4 points ago

Funny thing is, Teddy Roosevelt would have actually done this, given the means and the reason to do so.

[–]drakethedawg 1 point2 points ago

I'm pretty sure this is a repost, but I love 'merica, and I love this shit.

[–]I0I0I0I 2 points3 points ago

It irks me that there's 50 stars on the flag though.

[–]Digitalol 1 point2 points ago

Why is Roosevelt shooting a Wookie?

[–]themadscientistwho 9 points10 points ago

It's a Sasquatch you plebeian.

[–]88MilesPrower 0 points1 point ago

This shall be my desktop for a LONG time.

[–]jsto34 0 points1 point ago

I love the historical accuracy. Teddy was such a bad ass!

[–]MooberGoobers 0 points1 point ago

Speak big and carry a soft stick

[–]swank_master_general 0 points1 point ago

It's funny, I have this as my background on my computer already.

[–]el_refrigerator 0 points1 point ago

NOOOOOOOOOOO!

[–]Bishopkilljoy 0 points1 point ago

Ah yes the great yeti wars of 82 many a men died that day, many a yeti as well....twas quiet....shall I say, Beastly? hmhmhmh how quaint

[–]dsizzler 0 points1 point ago

Lol, I got this as a poster for my secret santa... Where did this originate from?

[–]TheFreshmaka 0 points1 point ago

I love this pic! It's actually my FB cover photo.

[–]Ryanthewise1 0 points1 point ago

Happened.

[–]Connor6 0 points1 point ago

Wut

[–]Phreakhead 0 points1 point ago

I bought one of these prints from that guy's etsy store. They are really sweet full-size; I highly recommend getting one to frame in your living room!

[–]CatsNarwhalsBacon 0 points1 point ago

This is my new favorite moment in human history. Unless this is there one where..

[–]Phantasmagoric0 0 points1 point ago

Teddy Roosevelt actually believed to have encountered a bigfoot

[–]wji 0 points1 point ago

That kind of machine gun didn't exist in Theodore's time. Guys, I think this might be historically inaccurate...

[–]EliteF50 0 points1 point ago

Sequel to Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?

[–]kylethechemist 0 points1 point ago

When I read the title of the post I KNEW it was going to be this!!!!! It was my background for like a month.

[–]IcecreamDave 0 points1 point ago

Andrew Jackson took a bullet to the chest in a duel then shot the other man in the balls killing him. Its was more badass than killing a teddy bear.

[–]Galihan 0 points1 point ago

[–]drumz0rz 0 points1 point ago

I have this as a limited edition print. Sharpwriter makes awesome stuff, I have 4 other prints of his. I want them all but I'm short on cash.

[–]SuperSilver 0 points1 point ago

As ancient astronaut theorists believe.

[–]koolaidman123 0 points1 point ago

'Tis a lie, Teddy never needed guns to kill.

[–]rb7_brady 0 points1 point ago

Chewbacca?

[–]Firrox 0 points1 point ago

Is that a wookie?

[–]damaximum 0 points1 point ago

love the nuke belt

[–]apostle_s 0 points1 point ago

This is a blatant misrepresentation. Everyone knows that TR knocked bigfoot unconscious with his bare hands and beat it to death with its own arms.

[–]juntmaster 0 points1 point ago

Pretty sure this happened at Ground Zero.

[–]maroonlife 0 points1 point ago

Why is he wearing a nuclear belt buckle? I didn't know he had a stance on nuclear power.

[–]Wring72 0 points1 point ago

Replace Roosevelt with Colbert

[–]concretebox 0 points1 point ago

Bullshit! Teddy Bear don't need no guns!

[–]kuzyekk 0 points1 point ago

I wish the dude smoking the cigar was Charlie Sheen

[–]TrentRizzo 0 points1 point ago

this isnt an accurate depiction is it? Im canadian so I didnt learn a lot about american history..

[–]hudsen 0 points1 point ago

Teddy's got a M60.

[–]Drake_Tungsten 0 points1 point ago

That picture is from the later years after Teddy had calmed down a bit.

[–]yodaman293 0 points1 point ago

New desktop background.

[–]Muffinman7580 0 points1 point ago

This is now my new wallpaper.

[–]airickanderson 0 points1 point ago

I think I'm still leaning towards Lincoln slaying vampires

[–]zygapophysis 0 points1 point ago

This has been my desktop for ages now. It always gets a laugh when I unlock my computer and my favorite president is mowing down a sasquatch with an M60. Because it really happened.

[–]benhop 0 points1 point ago

I the black and white version framed and hanging in my room.

'Merica every day.

[–]disturbed_pickle 0 points1 point ago

This was my wallpaper for a good period of time.

[–]theconcretewave 0 points1 point ago

Roughriders or die, man. Serious shit.

[–]Insanitys_shadow 0 points1 point ago

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/pony an instructional comic on how to ride a pony and facts about how Abraham Lincoln was riding a pony in Vietnam killing scorpions. Enjoy

[–]Vongkultrup 0 points1 point ago

Star wars and american history collide

[–]Poshul 0 points1 point ago

What's up with his belt?

[–]ittakesacrane 0 points1 point ago

mine would have to be when we won world war 2 by burning down a movie theater

[–]DerpDotText 0 points1 point ago

You should probably credit the original artist on deviantart.

[–]santaphrax 0 points1 point ago

Cannot unsee Ron Swanson !

[–]Time_Travelin 0 points1 point ago

This really happened.

[–]octalpus 0 points1 point ago

Is that a nuclear belt buckle? Nice.

[–]Getjac 0 points1 point ago

Theadore Roosevelt: Sasquatch Hunter

[–]JimboJimboSlicee 0 points1 point ago

If teachers taught history like this, this nation would probably be more historically educated.

[–]luciddr34m3r 0 points1 point ago

I have this image and the Lincoln on a Grizzly picture both in print and hung up on my cubicle. I work in an office where being patriotic is kind of a thing, so I meshed it with my love of the internets. People walk by and it takes them a minute to let it sink in, but they usually respond with "That is awesome!"

[–]ListenUp16 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, fuck you, Abe Lincoln! Your vampire shit don't got nothin' on this!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Kirbychu 0 points1 point ago

You've got your Roosevelts mixed up. This is Theodore Roosevelt, it was Franklin D. Roosevelt that was handicapped.

[–]CheeseAttack 0 points1 point ago

This is Theodore, not Franklin.

[–]orangetj 0 points1 point ago

minigore reference...

[–]HammaTimeSlave 0 points1 point ago

Sharpwriter on Deviantart made this picture and other badass presidential ones, check them out. This one was my background for a long time

[–]kinsmed 0 points1 point ago

When Robin Williams shot Kim Kardashian?

[–]J4S1X 0 points1 point ago

'merica, fuck yeah!

[–]juliusghoulius 0 points1 point ago

God I hate the way that artists manipulate actual events for convenience. There should have been three bears.

[–]SpectreS18 0 points1 point ago

wat

[–]Slm96 0 points1 point ago

I also loved when Abraham Lincoln killed all the vampires.oh America...

[–]Turnip_Blaster 0 points1 point ago

God damn, that's a fat wookie.

[–]BracedPolecat 0 points1 point ago

I dont think that was a bear, it was bigfoot

[–]Hatweed 0 points1 point ago

Did he shoot Chewbacca or Bigfoot?

[–]lookieausername 0 points1 point ago

(aheyum) TEDDIE MOTHERFUCKIG ROOSEVELT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

[–]Dr_Liam 0 points1 point ago

This is my new background on my computer.

[–]GreatGreen286 0 points1 point ago

can i get this as a wallpaper

[–]nigh70wl 0 points1 point ago

repost, fuck you

[–]levipl123 0 points1 point ago

Anybody else notice the radioactive symbol on Teddy's belt?

[–]frisbalicious 0 points1 point ago

Reposts.

Reposts everywhere.

[–]ktkoolaid 0 points1 point ago

repost from r/america

[–]Self_Hating_Liberal -1 points0 points ago

OP, you're named after a white supremacist. Shouldn't your favorite part of US history be the part where niggers are owned by whites?

[–]M3tzgerM3ister[S] 1 point2 points ago

I'm only racist against self hating liberals.

[–]RedIIv -2 points-1 points ago

'Murca

[–]MedievalManagement -2 points-1 points ago

This was awesome! Last year. 6 months ago it was still pretty cool. Last month it was OK. Last week it was meh. Today? Today it's a piece of shit.

You know the kid who makes these has made more than just this one, right? His deviantart page is right on the picture. Go find a new one to whore out.

[–]M3tzgerM3ister[S] 1 point2 points ago

Who pissed in your cheerios?

[–]MedievalManagement 0 points1 point ago

You did. This has literally been on Reddit 2 dozen times in the last year. This image. He's got a whole deviantart page to choose from. It's written right there in the picture. But we have to see the same damn picture twice a month for a year. Any other week of the year, and I wouldn't even have cared. I'd have just given you my downvote and moved on, but it's the 1st week of summer vacation so half of my front page is purple links of shit I've already seen this week.

[–]M3tzgerM3ister[S] 0 points1 point ago

Well it might be possible other people haven't seen it and will enjoy it. Wasn't intending to rustle anyone's jimmies here.

[–]MedievalManagement 0 points1 point ago

I wasn't exaggerating. This exact image has been on here at least every other week for the past year. If people linked directly to his gallery, there would be 25+ "other discussions" listed up top. He has other images.

JFK riding a unicorn on the moon.

FDR in a battle mech.

George Washington killing zombies

Stephen Colbert riding a bald eagle

Abe Lincoln riding a grizzly bear.

He has a whole gallery to choose from.

[–]M3tzgerM3ister[S] -1 points0 points ago

I'm well aware of his other images, thank you.

[–]dane83 -1 points0 points ago

Hi. I'm someone who, somehow, despite being on reddit for a long time, has never seen this image, nor the others in the series until just this post. The internet is a pretty huge place and sometimes content can be missed. I quite enjoyed this picture, and the others in the series.

You might be having a bad day or a bad week or something but that doesn't give you the right to be a jerk, even if your page is filled with purple links. Maybe you should go get some fresh air if you are getting so upset about not having fresh links.

Have a good one!

[–]CADJ -1 points0 points ago

i have that poster on my wall

[–]giegerichunit -1 points0 points ago

that's the background on my computer

[–]bolderbast -1 points0 points ago

You will now go back and check the bear's ass.

[–]honest_ed -1 points0 points ago

never thought it would happen, but I'm actually starting to get tired of these images where someone takes x famous person or character and places them in x situation involving different permutations of dinosaurs, lasers, unicorns etc, and U.S. flags.

[–]rudman -1 points0 points ago

New to the internet? Or just a karma-whore?

[–]dumbkid -2 points-1 points ago

Lol at how America has to invent fictional badasses

[–]seafoamstratocaster 1 point2 points ago

Roosevelt was not fictional and was definitely badass.

[–]qosmith -1 points0 points ago

For people looking to buy some of this artist's work

http://www.etsy.com/shop/sharpwriter?ref=seller_info&order=price_desc&page=1