top 200 commentsshow all 342

[–]jasonboy 642 points643 points ago

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probably meant 'more magnus'

how vain

[–]Spelling_is_hadr 388 points389 points ago

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He must be attracted to himself.

[–]I_STOP_ALL_PUNS 348 points349 points ago

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STOP

[–]dont_press_ctrl-W 389 points390 points ago

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More like "I stop all funs".

[–]mshel016 78 points79 points ago

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dont_press_ctrl-W

You tried to warn me and I still did it..

[–]CTRL_ALT_RAPE 41 points42 points ago

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If you think that was bad, then you really shouldn't try mine,

[–]Gallifrasian 13 points14 points ago

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If we ever have sex, I'll want to name our child Delete so if either of you fucks up I can just hit you both at once.

[–]necromatedmau5 7 points8 points ago

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That would just be CTRL_ALT_RAPE_DEL

[–]CTRL_ALT_RAPE 9 points10 points ago

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Rape homicide?

[–]tellhersafe 20 points21 points ago

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definitely don't press ctrl-shift-t

[–]DaCeph 78 points79 points ago

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Oooh porn

[–]Arbybeay 1 point2 points ago

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ctrl-shift-n

[–]SlasherPunk 8 points9 points ago

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It's ctrl-shift-w. Stop fooling people.

[–]MrSnare 1 point2 points ago

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Ah no!

[–]Specnerd 2 points3 points ago

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Why did you make me press it?!

[–]foraday 7 points8 points ago

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ctrl+shift+t

[–]GeorgeLindel 5 points6 points ago

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now i am masters of the internets!!!!!!!!!!! OBEY

[–]zsabarab 13 points14 points ago

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Hammer time!

[–]jm12 7 points8 points ago

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The good thing about this account for people that like puns is you can look at the context of his comments to find good pun threads

[–]plasker6 9 points10 points ago

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Or, what, you'll press charges?

[–]ManOfAluminum 15 points16 points ago

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I don't see a "charges" key...

[–]Real-Life-Reddit 3 points4 points ago

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...Me now

I'm having such a good time...

[–]aaybma 1 point2 points ago

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I feel this account is fighting a battle it cannot possibly win.

[–]Esc4p3 2 points3 points ago

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Believin'

Hold on to the feelin

[–]DoWhile 3 points4 points ago

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Collaborate and listen!

[–]Reebzy 1 point2 points ago

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Ice is back with a brand new invention

[–]inept_adept 1 point2 points ago

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I agree, these puns should be kept at a safe distance apart.

[–]Capncorky 6 points7 points ago

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Yeah, I just find them repulsive.

[–]ripster55 1 point2 points ago

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We just have polar opposite senses of humor.

[–]wine-o-saur 5 points6 points ago

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He's very confused - poor kid's bipolar.

[–]iPhotoshop4Free 30 points31 points ago

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[–]NotSoGoodAtPhotoshop 1 point2 points ago

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As a guy named Magnus, I find this hilarious!

[–]babyloniandotgov 3 points4 points ago

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Fucking Magnus.

[–]red321red321 8 points9 points ago

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oh the irony

[–]Breathing_Balls 25 points26 points ago

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Your comment repels me.

[–]iDoubt_that 11 points12 points ago

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Then flip over and enjoy.

[–]SleepNowintheFire 8 points9 points ago

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That's what I told my six year old cousin

[–]ryy0 200 points201 points ago

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When Little Magnus was littler, he asked his father, a theoretical physicists, what is his job like. The father, working in CERN, didn't have enough talent to explain his life's work to a three-years-old, so he said: "Magnet stuffs. I make teeny-tiny sands run really fast on a race track. But they can't hit the wall, so I need magnets".

CERN, being in Switzerland, makes it hard for Little Magnus to see his father often. And whenever he's at home, he always looks so distant, thinking about his sands on a racetrack and his magnets.

So Little Magnus, innocent as he was, wished for more magnets in Melbourne, so his father wouldn't have to go far away to work "Magnet stuffs".

[–]adolfojp 11 points12 points ago

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Your comment is, in terms of quality, at the same level as the intro of Amelie. It is clever, sad, and beautiful, and I thank you for it.

[–]meebeee 339 points340 points ago

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The kid only wanted Melbourne to be a more positive place

[–]Breathing_Balls 194 points195 points ago

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to attract more tourists.

[–]GanDolphLundgren 106 points107 points ago

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and repel the natives.

[–]catchpen 68 points69 points ago

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Into the fields.

[–]protesilaus 54 points55 points ago

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I'm pulling for him.

[–]DangerToDangers 30 points31 points ago

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The kid has raw magnetism.

[–]CronosDage 36 points37 points ago

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A passion for poles.

[–]Killer_waffles 35 points36 points ago

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This kid is going to be a force to be reckoned with

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points ago

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I'm sure his parents get sol-annoyed by his behavior.

[–]mishiesings 17 points18 points ago

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Magnetism.

[–]RotoBone 3 points4 points ago

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He doesn't look like the kind of kid who likes to B-have.

[–]bastian1343 1 point2 points ago

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No, he wants a giant rig of electromagnets and when someone with too many piercings walks by.... he switches it on.

[–]everflow 257 points258 points ago

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Lily's idea is dumb, Abdujabar's is fine.

[–]iwillkillbullboy 232 points233 points ago

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I feel like Abdujabar is the only one out of the 3 developing at a permissible rate.

[–]kttice 95 points96 points ago

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I'd like to think Magnus was talking about installing a Maglev train system to improve the infrastructure of Australia. If that's the case, he's the smartest one.

[–]internetsuperstar 48 points49 points ago

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I think by magnets he meant the poor economic performance that is creating rampant social strife. A concise observation combined with sage wisdom. Those elements of humanity truly are "forces" which are "polar opposites."

Magnus '12

[–]GeorgeLindel 9 points10 points ago

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or a monorail

[–]Thechariot7 1 point2 points ago

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Did someone say monorail? Monorail!! (breaks into song and dance)

[–]LOLSTRALIA 2 points3 points ago

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I think by magnets he meant the poor economic performance that is creating rampant social strife.

My reaction.

[–]Everydayilearnsumtin 17 points18 points ago

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I imagine lions got eaten by sharks though.

[–]Ryllis 5 points6 points ago

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Until you consider that his idea is the only one of the three likely to result in deaths.

[–]alcabazar 9 points10 points ago

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You are seriously underestimating Lily's ability to choke on a Barbie

[–]iwillkillbullboy 1 point2 points ago

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a necessary evil.

[–]CosmicEngender 26 points27 points ago

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Lily is setting herself up for some serious disappointment down the road.

[–]Bixby66 3 points4 points ago

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I'm pretty sure she's just gonna disappoint everyone else by becoming a huge bitch.

[–]MyNameCouldntBeAsLon 6 points7 points ago

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I've swam with sharks before, it wasn't that great.

[–]BakulaSelleck92 40 points41 points ago

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I know, right! That 4 year old is such a dumbass!

[–]everflow 33 points34 points ago

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Yeah, like we were not allowed to laugh at stuff little children say. I am not judging anyone, I am just saying that idea was dumb. We would not get anywhere if no one ever gave us critical feedback. Am I supposed to patronise that child I never met and very probably never will? I am not being mean to her. Maybe people should stop implying I am rude to children. Maybe not. Go on if it makes you happy.

[–]Faaaabulous 26 points27 points ago

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Nothing wrong with being rude to children. We're the superior ones, after all. They should be offering me candy.

[–]AlternateKarmaSource 6 points7 points ago

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I think that you think he's mad, but I think you're mad.

[–]everflow 14 points15 points ago

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On internet boards the dichotomy of mad/not-mad becomes merely an illusion.

[–]Jandklo 3 points4 points ago

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Heh, dich.

[–]TimBeluga 1 point2 points ago

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Still I would feel sorry for the lions and dolphins having to swim with the sharks.

[–]ScottCarmichael 137 points138 points ago

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"What are your hobbies?"

"Magnets."

"Magnets?"

"Yeah."

"Well, what about them? Do you like collecting them or making things with them???"

"I just like 'em."

"Put down snowboarding."

"I don't snowboard."

"Okay, what's your favorite food?"

"Milk Steak."

"What is that!?!"

"Ignore him - that's not even a real food."

"It is a real thing. Milk Steaks are real."

[–]funkbass796 44 points45 points ago

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"Sir I'll have your finest Milk Steak boiled over hard."

[–]PJSeeds 36 points37 points ago

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"with a side of jelly beans... raw, of course"

[–]michaelzelen 5 points6 points ago

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is from a thing?

[–]etskinner 13 points14 points ago

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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

[–]ilostmyself 6 points7 points ago

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[–]C0mmun1ty 14 points15 points ago

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"Little green ghouls, man!"

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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"Auuugh god what was that? What was that?! Is that cheese? Have you eaten cheese?!" - "How much cheese have you eaten today!?"

"How much cheese is too much cheese?"

"ANY AMOUNT of cheese before a date is too much cheese."

"I had a lot of cheese. I had a BLOCK of cheese."

[–]mandelbratwurst 3 points4 points ago

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Turn offs?

People's knees.

Ok, we'll just handle it from here.

[–]Ganonsfoot 2 points3 points ago

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I just saw that episode for the first time two days ago. It was amazing!

[–]offspringofdeath 1 point2 points ago

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Magnus might grow up to be quite a character, seeing that he's already a lot like Charlie ^

[–]AllemandsMiniscules 1 point2 points ago

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What is this from? I feel like I'm missing out on a lot.

[–]ScottCarmichael 1 point2 points ago

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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - the funniest show on TV right now. Even better than Curb Your Enthusiasm.

[–]plus10charisma 20 points21 points ago

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Magnus knows what Magnus likes.

[–]red321red321 58 points59 points ago

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abdujabar sounds wild. swim with sharks and ass raping dolphins?

i wanna party with this kid

[–]ryy0 24 points25 points ago

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He didn't have space to elaborate who's going to swim with sharks and dolphins. If done right, this is actually a concrete plan to better Melbourne.

[–]acog 4 points5 points ago

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True fact. I know his family. He was named after the American basketball player, Kareem Abdujabar.

[–]GENOCIDEGeorge 18 points19 points ago

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As a Melbournian, I can attest to this - more magnets WILL make the city better.

[–]netgod2002 2 points3 points ago

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Gillard should have included this in the budget if you ask me. Instead of spending millions on public transport, we could've just bought tons of magnets.

[–]ianmikyska 11 points12 points ago

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What a beautifully multicultural trio.

[–]mrbarry1024 11 points12 points ago

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all we need now is a wheelchair-bound kid to complete the multicultural rainbow.

[–]GAMEchief 27 points28 points ago

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Paraplegia is my favorite culture.

[–]IAmAtomato 3 points4 points ago

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He's gotta be Asian, though.

[–]IchDien 19 points20 points ago

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ALL HAIL ABDUJABAR!

[–]SimilarImage 98 points99 points ago

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Age User Title Reddit Cmnt Points
5 months A_Queff_In_Time I like the way Magnus thinks... here 95 552
10 months MST7 Melbourne citizens, no need to struggle anymore, this kid has the solution to all your problems. /r/pics 19 115
1 year IcemanPaulWall Magneto Found here 24 149

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[–]PompeiiGraffiti 34 points35 points ago

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I took the photo of this in The Age newspaper way back when. I got my fair share of karma, good to see it making the rounds still! Go Magnus!

[–]Se7en_Sinner 17 points18 points ago

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Viral marketing for X-Men Origins: Magneto.

[–]Ganonsfoot 4 points5 points ago

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So that's what sir Ian Mckellen looked like as a child!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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I am the master of magnet! Welcome to die!

[–]coldtoescolderheart 3 points4 points ago

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You think Abdujabar was named after Kareem?

[–]Rommel79 4 points5 points ago

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Abdujabar's zoo sounds awesome. I want to go there.

[–]zishmusic 4 points5 points ago

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Fucking magnus. How do they work?

[–]konax 8 points9 points ago

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still better than barbie

[–]Styvorama 20 points21 points ago

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[–]themajor24 3 points4 points ago

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I think that we just found the villain for the Avengers movie...

[–]theotherpena 3 points4 points ago

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Magnus... Lensherr?

[–]algo 3 points4 points ago

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His name is Magnus Magnetson.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Magnus Moremagnetson?

[–]Stonysensei 3 points4 points ago

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Origins of a Super Villain...

[–]harmedgreen 4 points5 points ago

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His response was better than Lily's

[–]Capappy 3 points4 points ago

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That kid is a fucking genius!!! Magnets make everything better!

[–]gabora 2 points3 points ago

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Eric Magnus Lehnsherr wants more magnets. Not surprising

[–]theussreliantrobin 2 points3 points ago

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Is he wrong?

[–]marMELade 2 points3 points ago

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My mom teaches 4 year olds and once asked this same question to her class. One little girl replied with "Doughnut."

[–]Kah-Neth 2 points3 points ago

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The scary thing is how self centered the girl was.

[–]Black_Market_Baby 4 points5 points ago

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Looks to me like Lily is the real idiot here.

[–]i_know__that_guy 1 point2 points ago

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Great kid, his father works in my office building.

[–]bigsz 1 point2 points ago

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[–]BicepsMcSteaksauce 1 point2 points ago

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Magneto was so young

[–]MeatWagonBBQ 1 point2 points ago

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I named my kid Magnus, after Magnus Samuelson. Winner of the worlds silliest man competition.

[–]LightningSh0ck 1 point2 points ago

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i like the fact that abdujabar's parents went for the the classic kareem abdul jabar name but trickier.

[–]cronatos 1 point2 points ago

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Magnus is just a junior supervillian. His powers are dependent on magnets so he's just planning early for his try on world domination.

[–]Umpalumpa47 1 point2 points ago

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"What are your hobbies" "Magnets."

[–]whycantirememberthis 1 point2 points ago

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Are we talking about Melbourne, Australia or Melbourne, Florida because I think more magnets in Florida is an excellent campaign point.

[–]Tyranicide 1 point2 points ago

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Magnus is a Jugalo

[–]slugmaniac 1 point2 points ago

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But Abdujabar has got the right idea.

No spellcheck, it's a name, it is a word.

[–]ry4n4re4l 1 point2 points ago

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What about Abdujabar?... He want to swim with sharks. I think the little girl has the most graceful solution.

[–]IAmAtomato 1 point2 points ago

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Abdujabar either has the best idea in existence.. or the stupidest one.

[–]ara_p 1 point2 points ago

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It's funny because his name sounds like magnets.

[–]giorgospan 1 point2 points ago

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Abdujabar knows the solution to everything that's wrong with humanity :D

[–]smilles 1 point2 points ago

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Lily is gonna grow up to be a mondo bitch

[–]SkullyKitt 1 point2 points ago

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I remember most of my kindergarten class responding to the question of "What do you want to be when you grow up?" with "Astronaut, doctor, president, cop" etc - in other words, what we had been exposed to the idea of being at that age.

So, given the question of "How would you make Melbourne a better place," or "what do think you could do to make Melbourne better," does any else feel really saddened by Lily's response? She's four - she's working with what she's been given. We owe children better.

[–]TheOneFreeMan77 1 point2 points ago

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X-Men! Welcome to die! I am Magnus master of magnet!

[–]LaFlamaBlanca1 1 point2 points ago

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He's a young Charlie Kelly.

[–]tentaclesjr 1 point2 points ago

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Fucking Magnus, how do they work?

[–]beaverteeth92 1 point2 points ago

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Fuckin' kids' interviews, how do they work?

[–]AAAAAAAAndrew 1 point2 points ago

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A young Charlie Kelly.

[–]ofd1197 1 point2 points ago

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Obviously a young super villian.

[–]thehammer159 1 point2 points ago

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Seriously? The top five comments make no mention of how Magneto's name (one of them) is Magnus?

I thought you guys were cool.

[–]HalifaxSexKnight 2 points3 points ago

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Magnus, how does he work?

[–]JiangWei23 3 points4 points ago

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He prefers...'Magneto'.

[–]MusicMagi 0 points1 point ago

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I think he's onto something

[–]Freddie_AppsHero 0 points1 point ago

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But then nobody would know how Melbourne works. Fucking magnets.

[–]almostamusician 0 points1 point ago

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Swimming with sharks? That Abdujabar is gonna have a short life.

[–]Waldo_Geraldo_Faldo 0 points1 point ago

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Magnus is a champ

[–]akr8683 0 points1 point ago

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that man may be on to something...

[–]theicecapsaremelting 0 points1 point ago

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A magnet is a school, folks...

[–]CaresLessEveryday 0 points1 point ago

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Someone tell Schala we found him. She can quit looking.

[–]kobun253 0 points1 point ago

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Magneto get out of here

[–]iAnonymousGuy 0 points1 point ago

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magnificient magnus!

[–]Leo22987 0 points1 point ago

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Hahaha just like a young Charlie Kelly

[–]Everydayilearnsumtin 0 points1 point ago

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More zoos with lions in them and swimming with the sharks and dolphins.

Lions drowned and got eaten by the sharks. Sharks got poked by dolphins. Melbourne is a better place now.

[–]urabusxrw 0 points1 point ago

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Abdujabar is a badass name.

[–]mikeigor 0 points1 point ago

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Magneto... the early days

[–]ego-madness 0 points1 point ago

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The POWER of MAGNETISM!

[–]terrible0ne 0 points1 point ago

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Only genius in the bunch

[–]freakingmagnets 0 points1 point ago

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FREAKING MAGNETS BITCH!

[–]Nolad 0 points1 point ago

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fuckin magnets how do they work.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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magnus is the only one who is proposing something with any practical use.

[–]pridetwo 0 points1 point ago

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Magnus Vermagnusson at age 4

[–]mapkinase 0 points1 point ago

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That's what 5-year old Nikola said

[–]Sandusky_Shower 0 points1 point ago

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Oh I do concur ;)

[–]Sxtus 0 points1 point ago

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Silly Lily...

[–]ThatAnnoyingKid 0 points1 point ago

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Magnus for President!

[–]Magnesus 0 points1 point ago

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Smart kid. I fully agree with him!

[–]Mr_Manmanman 0 points1 point ago

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He is clearly already an Insane Clown Posse fan. He must be stopped.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Silly Magnus? Silly Abdujabar! He'll be killed!

[–]fugmunky 0 points1 point ago

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Magnus, Magnet Magnate of Melbourne

[–]wakeentry 0 points1 point ago

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He must enjoy the music of ICP.

[–]DrMrProfessor 0 points1 point ago

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Magnus the Magnet King of Melbourne.

[–]ginx2666 0 points1 point ago

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"Magnus Tenman - the strength of TEN MEN!"

Damn I miss Yogpod...

[–]SenatorSyphilis 0 points1 point ago

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Anyone else laugh harder at her swimming with the sharks and dolphins comments?

[–]ajtothe 0 points1 point ago

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Fucking magnets...

[–]plazmamuffin 0 points1 point ago

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Linguistically, since his name is Magnus a magnet could just be his child.

[–]Tdogg425 0 points1 point ago

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Charlie Kelly approves.

[–]KDawg23 0 points1 point ago

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Abdujabar is a bad motherfucker

[–]Lukers_RCA 0 points1 point ago

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We know this kid will be wearing a tin foil hat when he is older

[–]silentwindofdoom77 0 points1 point ago

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Magnets make everything better.

Apart from certain data carriers.

[–]notbeinganassholerea 0 points1 point ago

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Sound advice.

[–]iced1138 0 points1 point ago

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Anything besides magnets? He can't deal with it now!

[–]IrishItalian0129 0 points1 point ago

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I'd say magnets make everything, not just Melbourne, better ...

[–]PedoPete 0 points1 point ago

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Who would want to swim with sharks

[–]goklissa 0 points1 point ago

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I think more magnets would definitely make Melbourne more attractive.

[–]Stullif 0 points1 point ago

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Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't Magneto's name Erik Magnus Lensherr? This could be a young Magneto !!

[–]vadergeek 0 points1 point ago

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Maybe one day he'll have children of his own, and one of them will love magnets too. And the other two will love speed and probability, and then have alternate universe creepy, incestuous equivalents, and then most of them will have mental problems. But for now, let's leave Magnus to his magnets.

[–]Tritiac 0 points1 point ago

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I think something must be said about Abdujabar and his idea of swimming with sharks. Is that really the way to make Melbourne better? Sounds like more of the same to me.

[–]justinkasereddditor 0 points1 point ago

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pun e shit man real pun e shit

[–]apocalypse_IRA 0 points1 point ago

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next Nobel Peace Prize winner.

[–]UnsightlyBastard 0 points1 point ago

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I thought this would be a chrono trigger joke before I opened it :(

[–]Trickish 0 points1 point ago

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And then a new super villain was born

[–]fashraf 0 points1 point ago

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they spelled the third kid's name wrong. its supposed to be abduljabar or abdul-jabbar. maybe they ran out of characters?

[–]lambyte 0 points1 point ago

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I'm behind this 100%.

How can we organize reddit to make Magnus' dream of more magnets in Melbourne a reality?

[–]TripperDay 0 points1 point ago

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Zen Magnets are awesome and make any place they are more awesome.

[–]poundcake42 0 points1 point ago

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I think he just wants everyone to finally learn how they work. Magnets for all juggalos!

[–]xXPinkGrenadeXx 0 points1 point ago

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I thought swimming with the sharks would be the highlight of this.

[–]Rtalbot55 0 points1 point ago

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The sharks!!

[–]Cameltotem 0 points1 point ago

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He built "Eye of Magnus"

[–]ForgettableUsername 0 points1 point ago

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MAGNUS WANT MAGNETS!