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all 177 comments

[–]Z3F 78 points79 points ago

[–]saladtossing 37 points38 points ago

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

If I had a dollar for every time "tap dat land" was uttered during a Magic game...

[–]CrippledPadawan 0 points1 point ago

i wish i could upvote more than once for this

[–]m1stdweller 4 points5 points ago

I've got it - but you owe me one.

[–]DorfCakes 16 points17 points ago

You're barkin' up the wrong tree, pal.

[–]AcerRubrum 12 points13 points ago

He is. Thats a spruce in the OP, not a Maple.

[–]Nociceptors 4 points5 points ago

You'd be going out on a limb. Already has rings on it

[–]sparx483 1 point2 points ago

[–]krispy11 5 points6 points ago

I'd sap that

[–]kibdrv 0 points1 point ago

Dat ax.

[–]Se7en_Sinner 112 points113 points ago

[–]LiquorballSandwich 44 points45 points ago

Back by poplar demand.

[–]iamallon 50 points51 points ago

I LIKE BIG STUMPS AND I CANNOT LIE..

[–]ariiiiigold 43 points44 points ago

YOU OTHER PERENNIAL WOODY PLANTS CAN'T DENY

[–]iamallon 42 points43 points ago

WHEN DAT OAK COMES IN W THAT ITTY BITTY BARK AND THAT ROUND STUMP IN YOUR FACE YOU GET SPRING!

[–]LiquorballSandwich 24 points25 points ago

WANNA PULL OUT YOUR TIRE SWING, CUZ YOU NOTICE THAT BARK IS SCUFFED

[–]fauno15 1 point2 points ago

DEEP IN THE ROOTS SHE'S GROUNDED, I'M HOOKED AND I'M ASTOUNDED

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Houstunna 8 points9 points ago

Dat grASS

[–]TriesWayTooHard 1 point2 points ago

DAT ASH

[–]DaCeph 1 point2 points ago

Now pop a little Zantac for antacid if you can

[–]ariiiiigold 15 points16 points ago

Dayummmmmmm, gurl. Yo booty fine as HELL. I was dating Shanelle, an oak tree out in Michigan, but she dun cheated on me with a fuckin' rose. A fuckin' rose, man. I'm 40ft tall and have 15 branches, and she cheat on me with a little bitch-ass rose? Anyway, I digress, you wanna hook up?

[–]colt4cm 0 points1 point ago

[–]TheyreEatingHer 0 points1 point ago

When did Nicki Minaj reincarnate into a tree?

[–]cleeb 17 points18 points ago

baby got bark

[–]boilingpoint3 36 points37 points ago

oh great! now I've got wood!

[–]Breathing_Balls 13 points14 points ago

Leaf it out man.

[–]red321red321 8 points9 points ago

you guys are saps

[–]catchpen 5 points6 points ago

No they're knot!

[–]vertigo1083 1 point2 points ago

Still, they should branch out and meet new people.

[–]Terobial -1 points0 points ago

You're being a real birch about this.

[–]plasker6 1 point2 points ago

Fir real?

[–]LucLeDuke 36 points37 points ago

I'd hit it.

[–]Ravenseye 44 points45 points ago

I wouldn't hit it, I'd tap it ;)

[–]NickDerpkins 25 points26 points ago

I'd axe it out on a date ;)

[–]vivvav 14 points15 points ago

And give it your log?

[–]kinboy 11 points12 points ago

I'd take it for half-price sappetizers, but probably leaf after that.

[–]vivvav 8 points9 points ago

You're trying too hard.

[–]wait____whaaat 1 point2 points ago

i'd drill a hole in it and engage in agoraphilia

[–]vivvav 0 points1 point ago

[–]philsmith24457 1 point2 points ago

Makes it sound like you have a Scandinavian accent.

[–]aqualad51 1 point2 points ago

well I thought it was funny.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Arrog 4 points5 points ago

Dat ash!

[–]piratestronghold 9 points10 points ago

With a stick.

[–]ThraseaPaetus 17 points18 points ago

With an axe

[–]piratestronghold 23 points24 points ago

In dat ash.

[–]gasms 10 points11 points ago

Dat lumber

[–]Wade_W_Wilson 4 points5 points ago

Dat syrup

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]colinsauce 8 points9 points ago

That actually sounds horrible.

"Dude, my girlfriend is into some kinky stuff."

"Oh, really? Like what?"

"She likes me to hit her with the arms of her dead relatives."

dafuq.jpg

[–]Obi_wan_The_cannoli 0 points1 point ago

Is that... assisted-masturbation?

[–]plasker6 0 points1 point ago

Use a rubber.

[–]iamallon 1 point2 points ago

use prosthetics (too far?)

[–]plasker6 5 points6 points ago

Alas, she pines for another.

[–]eire1228 0 points1 point ago

Do you think anyone has actually tried?

[–]zoodiary8 0 points1 point ago

I am loving it!!!

[–]red321red321 0 points1 point ago

i got a woody and i'd totally peck that wood

[–]Spadle27 0 points1 point ago

I'd chop that

[–]AcerRubrum 11 points12 points ago

All these comments about "Dat ash" and "Tappin dat" as if its a maple get the dendrologist in me irked to no end. It's a fucking norway spruce.

[–]ifinoxonifi 9 points10 points ago

Trees from norway ain't got booty like that.

[–]tstemm 6 points7 points ago

dat aspen

[–]itsgonnabethateasy -2 points-1 points ago

Hey! I was gonna say that.

[–]StencilPrinter 4 points5 points ago

Goes together with this: http://imgur.com/a/hUQOE

[–]ThraseaPaetus 17 points18 points ago

Hilarious title

[–]commandbluntforce 9 points10 points ago

Lackluster comment

[–]buffoonery4U 4 points5 points ago

Does this ass make my tree look big?

[–]dirtywhore4cash 6 points7 points ago

looks like Roger from American Dad

[–]Rob1150 2 points3 points ago

EXACTLY.

[–]dirtywhore4cash 2 points3 points ago

must be one of his disguises

[–]Pulse761 4 points5 points ago

By all these comments, it's inevitable that someone has tried to have sex with it.

[–]kenmaclean 15 points16 points ago

dat ash

[–]lilmanc14 3 points4 points ago

I'm a tree hugger now.

[–]Lenwe1 2 points3 points ago

I was expecting a hatchback with trash in it.

[–]knowses 2 points3 points ago

Did you happen to take this picture in Okahumpka, Fla?

[–]great_sheep509 2 points3 points ago

Gave me a wood !

[–]evilpoptart 2 points3 points ago

I came for this.

[–]_AxeOfKindness_ 1 point2 points ago

I'd tap that. Id tap it to the ground.

[–]SundayRed 1 point2 points ago

Upvoted for title.

[–]Dgc2002 1 point2 points ago

That tree must be an ASSpen...

[–]mvrb 1 point2 points ago

I thought that tree looked familiar.

[–]surplus_cetacean 1 point2 points ago

That tree haunts my childhood memories. And the aggressively-nippled harpy.

[–]lyghtworker 1 point2 points ago

TILF...

[–]DEINOCHEIRUS 1 point2 points ago

I can fap to this. Really.

[–]tsuga 1 point2 points ago

It's a burl on a Norway spruce.

There's my funny comment!

[–]MyUsernameIsNotCool 1 point2 points ago

I have one of these at home too http://imgur.com/VuCj9 I have to walk pass that asshole every day

[–]SlimPikinZ 1 point2 points ago

What a find! This can take "tree hugging" to a whole new level!

[–]ifinoxonifi 1 point2 points ago

Nice Ash.

[–]chumtaco 1 point2 points ago

[–]Scratchlax 1 point2 points ago

Big Booty Birches.

[–]bloopeeriod 1 point2 points ago

I got wood

[–]ratamac 0 points1 point ago

i feel a kindling in my groin

[–]Lumbearjack 1 point2 points ago

DAT ASP.

[–]MrCaffeine 1 point2 points ago

I can't decide whether this looks more like an ass or two dicks touching each other.

[–]red321red321 1 point2 points ago

i would root that and plant my seed. i'd skeet my sap all over dat.

[–]trollshep 1 point2 points ago

dat ass

[–]noisyturtle 1 point2 points ago

[–]REWK 0 points1 point ago

Those are some pretty big peaches on that tree.

[–]Killabeast01 0 points1 point ago

[–]weezyjefferson 0 points1 point ago

This remind anyone else of the Big Bruty level (PC EXCLUSIVE) from Earthworm Jim?

[–]SconeBoy 0 points1 point ago

Where's '___DatAss' This would be a perfect follow up for him...

[–]danraw_uk 0 points1 point ago

If that's the back there must be some major woodage up front

[–]spacebardoesnotwork 0 points1 point ago

Gotwood?

[–]DoctorCrouchJrWho 0 points1 point ago

Dat ba-dunk-a-trunk

[–]red321red321 0 points1 point ago

i'm sure that tree is the only living thing that would like to have a stick up its ass.

[–]EL_DIABLOW 0 points1 point ago

dat trunk...

[–]DSTFU 0 points1 point ago

Butt how?

[–]lumpydumdums 0 points1 point ago

Bore a hole in the right place and have a Fleshlight installed

[–]ShowMeTheMoneyShot 0 points1 point ago

I want to see a shot from the other side wink wink

[–]WoodlandZebra 0 points1 point ago

Dat ass...

[–]fancy-chips 0 points1 point ago

dat Ash

[–]Pilgrimsfinesthour 0 points1 point ago

Dat ash...

[–]andymaq 0 points1 point ago

Dick in the Stick

[–]weech 0 points1 point ago

penis

[–]MZITF 0 points1 point ago

DAT BURL

[–]Lentil-Soup 0 points1 point ago

Keep this in /r/treeporn please!

[–]MagnifloriousPhule 0 points1 point ago

Not at all what I was expecting. Well done, OP, you made me laugh.

[–]Bravehat 0 points1 point ago

A fine specimen like that, you gotta treet her right.

[–]GreetingsStarfighter 0 points1 point ago

Badonkatrunk

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I wonder how many people fucked that tree -- must've been painful.

[–]mostly-wrong 0 points1 point ago

Oh my god, Becky; Look at her butt.

[–]mckulty 0 points1 point ago

Did she break wind?

[–]ccolinn 0 points1 point ago

Jam a fleshlight in it.

[–]jeeesus 0 points1 point ago

Some Nordic country?

[–]african-tacos 0 points1 point ago

i'd buy it some root beer. Butt then again i woodn't.

[–]toxicFork 0 points1 point ago

Holy shit, I have never seen this many pun threads in a single post.

[–]shellybellywho 0 points1 point ago

Dat ass

[–]Pwnsauce23 0 points1 point ago

Mmm Dat ASS

[–]mrmcmole 0 points1 point ago

Dat STUMP

[–]im_at_work_now 0 points1 point ago

Bark that ass up

[–]admiralsmallness 0 points1 point ago

Dat deciduass (deciduous)

I'll get my coat

[–]2017tantor 0 points1 point ago

Wonder where the sap comes out...

[–]Terobial 0 points1 point ago

Fergie has now fully vegetated.

[–]ThatsActuallyAPenis 0 points1 point ago

Hey! Check out that shape!

[–]nopantspaul 0 points1 point ago

Ass in the grass

[–]Shitty_Sketches 0 points1 point ago

the ass was fat

[–]Iamsqueegee 0 points1 point ago

Dat ash

[–]Kneemoe 0 points1 point ago

Wow, a rare Kardashian tree!

[–]ShiningMyStroller 0 points1 point ago

And now I have to masturbate.

[–]hopscotchking 0 points1 point ago

Perfect caption.

[–]ncshooter426 0 points1 point ago

Dat (biom)ass

[–]jpircy8022 0 points1 point ago

am I the only one who finds it to have a slight resemblance to a cock?

[–]PriestmanX 0 points1 point ago

Stupid, sexy tree...

[–]Fukui_San 0 points1 point ago

Dendropheelin' on dat booooooty

[–]Eminemerica 0 points1 point ago

Hardy har har

[–]coffeebeankate 0 points1 point ago

Looks like balls to me!

[–]Potatocody 0 points1 point ago

Still has a better ass then most of the people at school. -__-

[–]ReMiiX 0 points1 point ago

[–]Faroutman101 0 points1 point ago

I cant Upvote this in good conscience do to it being posted on Tumblr about a week ago before you posted it here.

[–]AnAmericantDerp 0 points1 point ago

Dat ass...

[–]Would-I-Hit-It 0 points1 point ago

Might as well.

[–]Pinch_of_Pizzaz 0 points1 point ago

Oh, someone found Daphne.

[–]ratamac 0 points1 point ago

i'd hit it...

just saying.

[–]therestruth 0 points1 point ago

I would carve "your name" on it. Although I'd feel bad for the poor sap afterwards.

[–]coastermonger 0 points1 point ago

Baby got bark

[–]SingleWhiteFemale 0 points1 point ago

I don't see anything... are you being cheeky?

[–]Dannmann93 0 points1 point ago

He was just trying to crack a joke.

[–]SingleWhiteFemale 0 points1 point ago

Probably should flesh it out a bit more.

[–]dhp1161 0 points1 point ago

fucking dat ass...

[–]long_pubes_bald_head -4 points-3 points ago

dat ass

[–]JoshTay -5 points-4 points ago

Gives a whole new twist to the phrase, "Go fuck a a tree!"

[–]kuuetechno 0 points1 point ago

Who says," Go fuck a tree"?

[–]JoshTay 0 points1 point ago

I remember it as an expression from my youth. Fairport, NY, class of '81.

[–]putsomelimeonit -1 points0 points ago

It's time to branch out.

[–]Hipster_Hillbilly -1 points0 points ago

That's a tree.

[–]jvanveen -1 points0 points ago

Make like a tree, and get out of here.