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all 80 comments

[–]brinstar117 41 points42 points ago

I read a quip about WW1.

When the Germans use artillery, the British take cover. When the British use artillery, the Germans take cover. When the Americans use artillery, everyone takes cover.

[–]TheRemix -1 points0 points ago

Funny how this still happened in Afghanistan with air support.

[–]dirtyduck383 61 points62 points ago

Professionals are predictable, amateurs are the ones you have to watch out for.

[–]Roopa132 49 points50 points ago

Random example from history:

That's the reason the Roman Empire couldn't get far into Germany a few centuries ago. Back then the area now known as Germany was almost completely a forest and the Germans were just uncivilized unorganized tribes. There was no king or anything, just small villages scattered in the woods.

So basically always when the Romans tried to infiltrate they were suddenly attacked by villagers running out of the forest toward them from all directions beating at them with clubs and stuff.

There wasn't an organized army, there weren't any strongholds. So the Romans couldn't pick targets and strategic points and therefore couldn't do a focused attack.

The Germans basically were "amateurs" and yet they beat the biggest and most organized Empire at that time.

[–]DinoBenn 36 points37 points ago

You leave out the most badass parts of the story!

Basically, this resistance against the Romans came when they raided a German village and decided it would be a dandy idea to train one of the captured kids into the greatest warrior in Rome's history. They called him Arminius, and he hated him some Romans. Then, at no surprise to anyone, he ran back to Germany one day. The Romans then decided to take Germany.

Big mistake, because Arminius unites the Germans. The Battle of the Teutoburg Forest happens, and the Romans, against the united but chaotic Germans, are helpless. 10% of the entire Roman army was killed in just one of three battles. The losses were so great that Emperor Augustus himself became absolutely depressed at the loss of so many people.

Though the Romans retaliated and the Germans ultimately lost the "war", Rome would never truly recover, and this pretty well marked the beginning of the end for their imperial expansion. And to make things better, the Romans would never again cross the Rhine.

[–]Hobbycoder 17 points18 points ago

Well and who appears to not have known that story? Excactly: Napoleon. He united the Rhine-region and wanted them to fight against the Prussians together with occupied Saxony. In the middle of an epic battle the Germans controlled by Napoleon just turned around by 180° and shot every French soldier they could see.
Conculsion: Never let Germans fight against Germans.

[–]ThisOpenFist[S] 7 points8 points ago

Hitler made the same mistake, hence several attempts on his life and Lord knows how many turncoat spies.

[–]Siverix 2 points3 points ago

several dozen attempts.

[–]Highlighter_Freedom 2 points3 points ago

More info on this event?

[–]ragnaROCKER 1 point2 points ago

i dunno if this is it but it does make mention of napoleon having german troops that were "unreliable at best and on the verge of defecting to the Allies.[citation needed]"

bottom of the 3rd paragraph down under "war in germany" (i dunno how to make it so the link takes you right there)

war in germany

[–]Lampmonster1 9 points10 points ago

Look at poker a few years ago. All of a sudden you have thousands of amateurs turning up at all the tournaments. The pros had to adjust their play after they kept getting knocked out. They weren't getting knocked out because they were playing badly, they were getting knocked out because they expected the amatuers to do the smart thing, but they wouldn't. They'd take huge risks over and over and eventually one would get lucky and knock the pro out.

[–]PsychoNerd91 3 points4 points ago

Video games tell a different story. New player take a very linear path to do things. Professionals do things different and can counter these moves.

[–]AndyOniyate 2 points3 points ago

At an MLG last year a drunk kid almost took a game of SC2 off a top korean pro.

[–]FutzBucket 35 points36 points ago

It's hard to prepare against someone who's entire plan is "just get in there and kick the shit out of them".

[–]Zazilium 4 points5 points ago

But it works!... Most of the time...

[–]ThisOpenFist[S] 17 points18 points ago

The Viet Cong were better at it.

[–]skunk-bobtail 16 points17 points ago

Well, they were camping on defense so they had the advantage.

[–]Zazilium 7 points8 points ago

Bunch of campers and rushers... Psssshhhhtt

[–]MonkeyInATopHat 6 points7 points ago

It's okay we sent them a message afterwards letting them know we banged all their moms. Burn!

[–]lovelydayfora 1 point2 points ago

"... We're gonna cut out their living guts, and use them to grease the treads of our tanks!"

[–]kefr617 16 points17 points ago

Lol. Its true. In my unit, we have a saying: "The Army works best when it doesn't."

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Azr79 15 points16 points ago

[–]Flumper 4 points5 points ago

Being an unpredictable amateur at poker, at best will help you win a few hands. A good poker player will consistently win far more hands.

[–]Anarchaeologist 0 points1 point ago

"It isn't profitable to play poker with geniuses."

-Tim Powers

[–]enjinn -4 points-3 points ago

but then some self-proclaimed pros get mad because you sucked out on the river or didn't play the hand "correctly"

[–]CrazyBluePrime 0 points1 point ago

They're probably not a pro if they get mad that they lost.

Edit: Not that I'm making the claim that you are saying that, after all, you did use the phrase 'self-proclaimed.'

[–]yep45 -1 points0 points ago

I did way better at Poker when I was first learning and had little idea what I was doing.

[–]DocDerry 8 points9 points ago

We don't have time for doctrine to catch the fuck up with what we are actually doing.

[–]Rocketsprocket 9 points10 points ago

  • Flexibility is the key to air power.
  • Indecision is the key to flexibility.
  • Late night partying is the key to indecision.

Therefore: Late night partying is the key to air power.

[–]coprolite_hobbyist 9 points10 points ago

As a former member of the USAF, I can attest that this is true of the US Army.

[–]DrakenKor 4 points5 points ago

SNAFU - Situation Normal; All Fucked Up.

[–]maddog4526 3 points4 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Anyone else in the US Army will find this to be all too true 860coms 1778pts 2mos funny
American strategy at its finest 8coms 90pts 24dys funny

source: karmadecay

[–]ThisOpenFist[S] -1 points0 points ago

Meh. I only checked Tineye before I submitted it.

Edit: Does it matter? At least 886 people clearly didn't give a fuck.

[–]maddog4526 0 points1 point ago

I'm not trying to get on you for it being a repost, nor did I downvote the post. I'm just trying to give others possible further information they may want. Your post only has 77 comments versus 860 on another one here. If they want some more information, then the best place to look is at that first post. Just trying to help out a bit!

[–]ThisOpenFist[S] 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, but a lot of other people here have this strange cynicism about reposts, accidental or otherwise. It's a really stupid thing for people to get uppity about and I think they think that posts like yours validate the idea.

[–]maddog4526 0 points1 point ago

True and just for this reason I may stop this kind of comment, but I do agree that it is a rather stupid reason to get annoyed. New people are constantly coming to reddit and simply because an experienced redditor has seen an image doesn't mean that the newbies of reddit shouldn't have their own chance to see it.

[–]ThisOpenFist[S] 0 points1 point ago

I've been using this site almost since it was launched and I still see cries of "repost!" on shit I've never seen before.

[–]Zippy5454 1 point2 points ago

I just did an English project on Catch-22 and if the book's theme is at all true, these men have confirmed it.

[–]goldenrod 1 point2 points ago

I wish it said Soviet document and Nazi General Officer if they are going to show those emblems.

[–]ipwnnoobbz 1 point2 points ago

REPOST!

[–]sethboy67 4 points5 points ago

You just took the word of a Nazi, you'll do just fine.

[–]Hobbycoder 11 points12 points ago

Wehrmacht Officer != Nazi -.-

[–]sethboy67 2 points3 points ago

Not all of them were Nazi's but yes a good portion was.

[–]Hobbycoder -3 points-2 points ago

Do you have any references? Any sources? Any numbers?

[–]Nanopy 4 points5 points ago

Yes, /r/funny is where I come for my history lessons...Nazis were bad [citation needed].

[–]Maj12 0 points1 point ago

Nazis were bad [citation needed].

Source?

[–]sethboy67 2 points3 points ago

Are you like, and pardon my french, fucking retarded? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wehrmacht If you absolutely need a list of Germanaic encyclopedias with citations here is a few. Brockhaus: German encyclopedia (Citations in the formation of an upper social political party and connections with military) Vojna enciklopedija (Serbian records of germaniac transitions cited through social categories. Allgemeine Encyclopädie der Wissenschaften und Künste (overview for germaniac military social choices and divisional statistics pre-1940) I don't know why you would need references to show you Nazis were Nazis, but everyone has a different way of learning I suppose.

[–]Seamus_OReilly 0 points1 point ago

I don't understand the knee-jerk reaction to defend Germans anytime someone calls them Nazis. God forbid we offend the sensibilities of World War 2 era Germans!

[–]sethboy67 0 points1 point ago

Lol, I know right.

[–]Keine 0 points1 point ago

I know right! What kind of person would object to the generalization that everyone in Germany during the WW2 era was a jew killing, Hitler loving Nazi?

[–]Seamus_OReilly 0 points1 point ago

A person with warped priorities, that's who.

[–]Mrzeede 0 points1 point ago

Relevant studies? Field data?

[–]Corpsman87 1 point2 points ago

That is why I am a sailor

[–]Mrzeede 9 points10 points ago

Fabulous!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

If you all only knew how true this was. . .

[–]Snowfire870 0 points1 point ago

I am prior Army and i approve this message :-p

[–]DutchJester 0 points1 point ago

Thank you for the repost! I have been looking for this and haven't found it, so thank you for making it easy!

[–]AkkenNovikov 0 points1 point ago

That last guy has a point...

"Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate." - Sun Tzu

[–]smufmcfudel 0 points1 point ago

Why don't you just repost the shit from yesterday ?!?

[–]SolidDexter 0 points1 point ago

[–]rillegas08 1 point2 points ago

Some guy in his backyard

FTFY

[–]jstorey800 0 points1 point ago

I've seen this before, yet I love this picture. here is some Karma.