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Protect jesus (imgur.com)
submitted 2 months ago by djv516
[–]MrMontage 22 points23 points24 points 2 months ago
relevant
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJKye7J3-54
[–]ledzep4life 7 points8 points9 points 2 months ago
came for MadTV reference, was not disappointed.
[–]crimzonphox 4 points5 points6 points 2 months ago
same.
[–]Nateosis 31 points32 points33 points 2 months ago
. . . why is Ahnold fingering Jesus' bum with his pinky?
[–]abeth 11 points12 points13 points 2 months ago
I can only assume that's the reason for Jesus's expression
[–]BaconBrain 3 points4 points5 points 2 months ago
Clearly they are a couple.
[–]QuaereVerumm 2 points3 points4 points 2 months ago
And why is Jesus naked in the first place?
[–]dwightmoody 7 points8 points9 points 2 months ago
I'm pretty sure that's how the Roman's actually crucified people. The loincloth on most Jesus statues is there to protect our eyes from the holy schlong.
[–]Lots42 1 point2 points3 points 2 months ago
After all, it's okay to show a dude being horrifically murdered as long as he's wearing hot pants.
[–]QuaereVerumm 0 points1 point2 points 2 months ago
Ah, thank you.
[–]AllDizzle 1 point2 points3 points 2 months ago
Was going to ask this.
[–]Sventertainer 0 points1 point2 points 2 months ago
http://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/swn4v/ill_be_back/c4hmspu
[–]SimilarImage 23 points24 points25 points 2 months ago
This is an automated response
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[–]leechsucka 24 points25 points26 points 2 months ago
Crucifixion? More like, Crucifiction, amirite!?
Sorry :(
[–]lostforever 7 points8 points9 points 2 months ago
You said this better than I ever could.
[–]FreeFromChrist 7 points8 points9 points 2 months ago
This must be read with Aunuld's accent.
[–]jameskauer 5 points6 points7 points 2 months ago
Rotinni 4: 5)For this purpose did the great flying spaghetti monster bring forth into this world, a savior, and his name shall be Stephen Hawking.
[–]hkredyeung 4 points5 points6 points 2 months ago
Going inside to a world of fiction? I don't think even Skynet do that
[–]knighmare 3 points4 points5 points 2 months ago
nice try, but unlike time travel and the terminator, jesus didnt exist
[–]CalCapone 2 points3 points4 points 2 months ago
They should make a movie out of this.
[–]JonnE4 2 points3 points4 points 2 months ago
Well, would you look at that. He has his hand right in the crack now doesn't he....
[–]theysayirock 2 points3 points4 points 2 months ago
MAD TV did it!
[–]pixelrage 2 points3 points4 points 2 months ago
This is a total ripoff of a Mad TV skit
[–]Gr0undsK33per 2 points3 points4 points 2 months ago
I just had a revelation!! If it takes a thousand years for time travel to be invented... and we use it to stop christianity... then technology will be one thousand years more advanced... so that would mean we have time travel now! my head hurts... Also Checkmate Atheists!!
[–]kaseyyeah 1 point2 points3 points 2 months ago
I came here just to comment that, essentially. People always say kill Hitler, but if you stop christianity from ever existing it'd be a possibility that Hitler wouldn't have committed the atrocities he did, eh? Same with lots of other bad shit religion has been the cause of. Or they'd just find another reason.. but its possible!
[–]360walkaway 2 points3 points4 points 2 months ago
Terminator copping a feel on Jesus' behind. Nice.
[–]MartiParty 1 point2 points3 points 2 months ago
I'm quite disturbed by the very obvious latching of that mans fingers into jesus' asscrack.
[–]t3chnobilly 1 point2 points3 points 2 months ago
LOL.....best jesus cartoon ever
[–]PachoWumbo 1 point2 points3 points 2 months ago
OMG, I'm actually LMFAO. If only man, if only.
[–]rexical 1 point2 points3 points 2 months ago
Holy crap! Why hasn't anyone made this movie yet?! Tom arnold as sidekick, will ferrel as jesus and mr bean as the roman emperor, pamela anderson the virgin mary and megan fox as mary magdelene. I will fap to that.
[–]JohnnyCharles 1 point2 points3 points 2 months ago
As a Unitarian, I don't blame Jesus for Christian bullshit dogma. That would come from Paul of Tarsus, and stupid people.
[–]omnomnomnomnomnomn0m 1 point2 points3 points 2 months ago
Genus! This way the terminator will be in the bible then everyone will read it, thus leading to massive drops on christianity.
[–]User408 1 point2 points3 points 2 months ago
Am i the only one that read this with arnolds voice?
[–]DownVoteGuru 1 point2 points3 points 2 months ago
Why would space travelers want to stop Christianity?
All that would do is successfully change the future and ensure they do not exist. Also some other faith would be in its place.
How would that ensure they didn't exist? If anything, it would ensure they existed sooner.. Exhibit A
[–]DownVoteGuru 0 points1 point2 points 2 months ago*
Because they wouldn't exist since everything in history good or bad has came all the way up to your existence. If you changed history as major as christian influences you change the outcome of people in the future. It is not like you have a lotto ticket waiting to get into the human body. The only thing this exhibit shows is that maybe we would be more technologically advanced and that is hoping people don't latch on to another religion. If Hitler didn't rise to power and war refugees didn't flood to America you might not exist today. Not to mention resetting man kind seems stupid and has no beneficial gain unless human kind was at the verge of extinction.
it would ensure they existed sooner.
Life doesn't work that way.
If i had a human in parallel universes. Name A & B but A=B
So A is a African American with half white blood from his mother escaping unjust laws from her home country and coming to America. Now, B is a pure African who did not have these unjust laws because some time traveler changed the laws.
Now A does not equal B. A's personality, believes, or desires, goals are not B's and can be said to be a different human being. Same can be said about B being different from A.
Fast forward 2000 years and population has changed due to A becoming B, those who would have lived as A's descendants do not exist (all from a small change) since we changed A into B.
B now has descendants but all you have done is decide who should exist and who shouldn't exist. Not to mention new factors that could make history worse then it is now. You couldn't see the outcome because you reset history with a new point of alteration. So now you are hoping that this change is for the better of no evidence that it will make it better and are throwing away everyone's current existence for a re-roll even tho we at this point in the future are smart enough to make time travel.
Now to me, I don't feel like i have the right to determine who exist and who doesn't. Especially the scientific data that says that human population has a high chance of destroying itself so by the time we get time travel i think we are going to be civilized enough not to wipe ourselves of the face of the earth.
[–]JaggedCrown 1 point2 points3 points 2 months ago
How did the terminator get a gun two thousand years ago? I thought he could not bring anything with him when he went back because of the limitation in the technology. That was how they explained him always arriving naked.
Maybe the gun was coated in flesh just like the Terminator himself is.
[–]CalCapone 1 point2 points3 points 2 months ago
I'm curious to see what a shotgun would do to the iron armor the romans used.
[–]pasinduthegreat 1 point2 points3 points 2 months ago
Win. So much win I could cry.
[–]Lots42 0 points1 point2 points 2 months ago
The Terminator likes fisting.
[–]Eveco 0 points1 point2 points 2 months ago
Or just falcon punch Mary in the gut.
[–]yankerage -1 points0 points1 point 2 months ago
If you have a good memory on reddit,your gonna have a repost time.
[–]Lots42 2 points3 points4 points 2 months ago
Go fuck yourself.
[–]yankerage 1 point2 points3 points 2 months ago
Why dont you go fuck yourself with a cactus.
[–]djv516[S] 0 points1 point2 points 2 months ago
sorry if this is a repost :( I just wanted to share this.
Don't listen to the haters. It's been a MONTH. That's ok.
[–]Rflkt -1 points0 points1 point 2 months ago
The terminator is just an expensive vibrator that can travel through time to save one "lucky" individual.
[–]Ga-Stoned_Again -1 points0 points1 point 2 months ago
Half-way through reading that I got the joke and had to finish reading in Arnie's voice
[–]WonkaKnowsBest -3 points-2 points-1 points 2 months ago
Yep, now don't ever complain about Christians "offending you" again please.
[–]Lots42 -1 points0 points1 point 2 months ago
Yeah, the score is definitely equal.
[–]CobraKi -8 points-7 points-6 points 2 months ago
Jesus died on the cross for your sins and mine. One day we will all stand before God. Will you be ready? ABC of religion. Admit Jesus is Lord, Believe in him, Confess your sins!
[–]djv516[S] 5 points6 points7 points 2 months ago
Then 3 days later arose from the dead, contradicting what ever he died for in the first place.
[–]Anti_People 2 points3 points4 points 2 months ago
Jesus is not lord, jesus is fictional.
[–]CobraKi -1 points0 points1 point 2 months ago
i am so sorry you believe that. I am a walking testimony for the Lord Jeseys Christ. He has done so many things in my life and my families. Just put your faith in God, and believe.
Jesus*
[–]Anti_People 0 points1 point2 points 2 months ago
Ugh...
[–][deleted] -15 points-14 points-13 points 2 months ago
Matthew 26:52-54
Then Jesus said to him, Put your sword back into its place. For all who take the sword shall perish by a sword. Or do you think that I am not able now to call on My Father, and He will place beside Me more than twelve legions of angels? How then should the Scriptures be fulfilled, that it must happen this way?
Then Jesus said to him, Put your sword back into its place. For all who take the sword shall perish by a sword.
Or do you think that I am not able now to call on My Father, and He will place beside Me more than twelve legions of angels?
How then should the Scriptures be fulfilled, that it must happen this way?
John 10:11, 17-18
I am the Good Shepherd! The Good Shepherd lays down His life for the sheep. For this reason My Father loves Me, because I lay down My life, that I may take it again. -No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down from Myself. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it again. I received this commandment from My Father.*
I am the Good Shepherd! The Good Shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.
For this reason My Father loves Me, because I lay down My life, that I may take it again.
-No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down from Myself. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it again. I received this commandment from My Father.*
[–]Teotwawki69 3 points4 points5 points 2 months ago
LOL, WUT?
all it takes is a username and password
create account
is it really that easy? only one way to find out...
already have an account and just want to login?
login
[–]MrMontage 22 points23 points24 points ago
[–]ledzep4life 7 points8 points9 points ago
[–]crimzonphox 4 points5 points6 points ago
[–]Nateosis 31 points32 points33 points ago
[–]abeth 11 points12 points13 points ago
[–]BaconBrain 3 points4 points5 points ago
[–]QuaereVerumm 2 points3 points4 points ago
[–]dwightmoody 7 points8 points9 points ago
[–]Lots42 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]QuaereVerumm 0 points1 point2 points ago
[–]AllDizzle 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]Sventertainer 0 points1 point2 points ago
[–]SimilarImage 23 points24 points25 points ago
[–]leechsucka 24 points25 points26 points ago
[–]lostforever 7 points8 points9 points ago
[–]FreeFromChrist 7 points8 points9 points ago
[–]jameskauer 5 points6 points7 points ago
[–]hkredyeung 4 points5 points6 points ago
[–]knighmare 3 points4 points5 points ago
[–]CalCapone 2 points3 points4 points ago
[–]JonnE4 2 points3 points4 points ago
[–]theysayirock 2 points3 points4 points ago
[–]pixelrage 2 points3 points4 points ago
[–]Gr0undsK33per 2 points3 points4 points ago
[–]kaseyyeah 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]360walkaway 2 points3 points4 points ago
[–]MartiParty 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]t3chnobilly 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]PachoWumbo 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]rexical 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]JohnnyCharles 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]omnomnomnomnomnomn0m 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]User408 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]DownVoteGuru 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]kaseyyeah 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]DownVoteGuru 0 points1 point2 points ago
[–]JaggedCrown 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]Lots42 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]CalCapone 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]pasinduthegreat 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]Lots42 0 points1 point2 points ago
[–]Eveco 0 points1 point2 points ago
[–]yankerage -1 points0 points1 point ago
[–]Lots42 2 points3 points4 points ago
[–]yankerage 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]djv516[S] 0 points1 point2 points ago
[–]Lots42 1 point2 points3 points ago
[–]Rflkt -1 points0 points1 point ago
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[–]WonkaKnowsBest -3 points-2 points-1 points ago
[–]Lots42 -1 points0 points1 point ago