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1595
1596

Taking pics while playing with toddler, suddenly Hand of God. (imgur.com)

submitted ago by guerarenegada

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[–]Newshoe 78 points79 points ago

He's looking for his pliers

[–]Shellface 21 points22 points ago

The uneducated would like to know what the hell is going on here.

[–]10000gildedcranes 32 points33 points ago

It was shot by Google Street Team while they were taking all the pictures for the maps. Someone left a pair of pliers on the camera lens.

[–]Shellface 31 points32 points ago

I'm not sure of any situations where leaving pliers on a camera is sensible, but okay.

[–]Noxrazi 1 point2 points ago

I'm sure there's plexi-glass or something similar over all of their cameras. I highly doubt they would have expensive cameras just exposed to the weather and random people they pass. So in which case, it could be a flat surface, and the camera part is irrelevant.

[–]KenweezY -1 points0 points ago

There are about a million better places readily available to put a pair of pliers.

[–]WooTequila 3 points4 points ago

Shellface, Check this out!

[–]willneu97 68 points69 points ago

Can't wait to see this on facebook. "Lik dis if u luv god!"

[–]ihavenoartskills 53 points54 points ago

boi n gurl in park wit bby playin so god come down an sed ~DO NOT ABORT DA BBY~ so they aceptd Jesus a there lore n pray so became happy famly. #JesusIsMyLord #OhMyGodGiveMeAttentionPlease #I<3NERDS #BitchImSmarterThenYou LYK DIS IN 3 SECOND IF U LUV GOD OR THE DEVL WILL TAKE YOU AND PUT BLOOD ON YOUR BED SO YOUR MUM WILL BE LIKE "WTF" AND YOUR FRENDS WILL BE LIKE "BITCH DIDEN LUV GOD"

[–]venividiikarma 19 points20 points ago

I can't write in ghetto speak. How you managed to write that is beyond me

[–]ihavenoartskills 11 points12 points ago

It's quite hard man, to write such a platitudinous (large word hur dur) and ridiculously idiotic chunk of text. Stupid people do it with such naturality, it's just remarkable

[–]CaptainSombrero 2 points3 points ago

I can do it extremely easily. Just give me something to work with.

[–]SALizard 6 points7 points ago

Scene: two women are walking down the street when a man runs up to them, grabbing their purses and taking off.

Now, speak ghetto.

[–]CaptainSombrero 18 points19 points ago

so ah wuz tolking two mah quuuuurl (luv u Jinaynay) nd dis quy cum up nd sey qiv mee ur $$$. I wuz lyke bish plezz nd den hee stabb Jinaynay nd tuk mah purrs. I wuz lyke nooooo D': Jinaynay! Qurl u wuz so yunq nd den I colld da po-po (fuk da powleez) nd den dey cott da quy nd qot mah $$$ bak. Den jeezuz caym nd brott Jinaynay bak nd I wuz lyke tanks!!!!! ;"D luv u jeezuz! Den wee went two da polease ofiss (fuk da pollez) nd wee C da tief. I b lyke betch ima poke u in da I nd brn ur hous nd hee wuz lyke noooo D": I onlee did taht becuz Yolo. Butt ah wuz lyke betch fuk u so ah kild him. LMS if u rmembr Sponqebob! Hee b mah niqqa.

/#YOLO #LuvYaJeezy #RakCitehBish #MyNiqqaImFaydin #NowUrJusSumbudyDatIUseTaKno

Ah B on mah fone so soree ah tuk so lung! :D

[–]jerstud56 2 points3 points ago

Ow my head hurts now.

[–]CaptainSombrero 1 point2 points ago

I had to stop and make it clearer at some points. This isn't the worst I can go.

[–]FromAWarTornFuture 0 points1 point ago

They don't think it be like it is but I do.

[–]bitcheslovedroids 2 points3 points ago

Is this even English anymore?

[–]CaptainSombrero 2 points3 points ago

It's Inqlishh<3

[–]sayqueensbridge 2 points3 points ago

n' dat lil nigga was albert einstein.

[–]guerarenegada[S] 1 point2 points ago

Being used as that sort of propaganda would be hilarious. Especially being boderline atheist and pro-choice.

[–]ihavenoartskills 1 point2 points ago

You cannot believe the laughs, but also the ಠ_ಠ's

[–]guerarenegada[S] 0 points1 point ago

I pretty much scroll past any of this sort of stuff so, is it really this bad?

[–]_pagan_poetry_ 0 points1 point ago

This is a slight longshot but... Chris?

[–]ihavenoartskills 0 points1 point ago

I don't think Chris is Colombian unless that's some encoded way of saying Daniel.

[–]soccersteeler 91 points92 points ago

It all makes so much sense now...

...God is a toddler.

[–]Second_Location 85 points86 points ago

Goddler.

[–]Axolotile 20 points21 points ago

thants

[–]swargin 8 points9 points ago

Judging by your downvotes, I guess no one is a fan of Look Around You.

[–]Tyrphanax 2 points3 points ago

One of the greatest shows ever.

[–]AZwarasaurus 2 points3 points ago

What are birds? Scientists still dont know.

[–]xAsianZombie 1 point2 points ago

GODZIRRAA

[–]sayqueensbridge 1 point2 points ago

This fall on CBS!

[–]ceejiesqueejie 1 point2 points ago

Leaping lizards, you're probably right.

[–]scarflash 0 points1 point ago

um Teletubbies?

[–]Crazyasian93 0 points1 point ago

Life's purpose revealed

[–]Sit-Down_Comedian 0 points1 point ago

... God is a baller

FTFY

[–]kybreed 29 points30 points ago

It's the Buddhist Palm technique!

[–]inajeep 4 points5 points ago

Thank you, was not disappointed.

reference for those curious: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kung_Fu_Hustle

[–]xtirpation 6 points7 points ago

Actual reference that Kung Fu Hustle references

I can't even describe to you what I think about Kung Fu Hustle. I wrote a rant here that was too long for Reddit's comment system, and decided to replace it with just this: Kung Fu Hustle is either a brilliant satirical jab at the degenerating tastes of Hong Kong movie-watchers or is (imo) the epitome of the problem itself.

Edited to note what I mention lower in the thread: The IMDB link is to a 1982 remake of the original from the 60s. I couldn't find any English imdb/etc. links for that one. That being said, here's the link to the Chinese Wikipedia of that movie.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Couldn't it be both? You can't make an anti-anything movie without showing the thing you are against.

[–]xtirpation 1 point2 points ago

Maybe, but Stephen Chow doesn't exactly have a track record of making satirical/thoughtful films. Rather he's known for making silly comedies characterized by their low-brow humour (not to say that's a bad thing in and of itself). If I were a gambling man, I'd bet Kung Fu Hustle was just another one of these films and that I'm just thinking too hard about it.

That being said, great satire should be indistinguishable from what they're mocking and I guess there's no way for anyone but him to know for sure.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I think the first reference to the Buddha Palm techinque is in Journey to the West. The monkey king was imprisoned by Buddha using this technique. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sun_Wukong

[–]xtirpation 0 points1 point ago

Nope. I couldn't dig up an English source, but This is the original "Buddha's Palm" that was filmed in the 60s. The movie I linked to in the above comment is the 80s remake ('cause I couldn't find an English link for the 60's one)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Journey to the West was written in 16th century China...so film-wise you are correct.

[–]xtirpation 0 points1 point ago

True, but the "Buddha's palm" technique is fictional and was created by (and inadvertently popularized by) the writers of the film of the same name. Previous iterations of the Journey to the West story (I guess this would typically be story-tellers and written works) would not have included the Buddha's Palm move.

Edited to add a translation of the first paragraphs in the Wiki article I linked above:

Buddha's palm is a fictional martial art in a 1960s Hong Kong martial arts film. Because Buddha's Palm has become a classic in martial arts films, it has influenced many subsequent works".

(Names not translated from here on out, click the links in the article) According to (Magazine)'s description, the Buddha's Palm series of movies is inspired by a novel by (author name/novel's title) published in (Hong Kong newspaper) and a Taiwanese novelist's (name of novelist/name of work)

[–]Eustace__Bagge 4 points5 points ago

Pioneered by Diego Maradona, I believe.

[–]PorkchopDerp 7 points8 points ago

It looks like you live in some Eastern Bloc country.

I play too much S.T.A.L.K.E.R.

[–]Phast -1 points0 points ago

GET OUT OF HERE STALKER

[–]StramanamaMama 39 points40 points ago

I see this

[–]iOSGuy 6 points7 points ago

Funny. I see this.

Edit: Where the fuck did the downvore brigade come from? Since when do Zelda references piss off Reddit?

[–]WillMcB 65 points66 points ago

cool, I see this

[–]lambchoppe 20 points21 points ago

Yeah this is the one I saw also

[–]guerarenegada[S] 4 points5 points ago

I dunno, dude, I love Zelda so this pleased me, personally.

[–]iOSGuy -4 points-3 points ago

<3

[–]teraskasi 0 points1 point ago

Reminded me of This

[–]Darkbro 7 points8 points ago

"DON'T STAND THERE GAWKING LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THE HAND OF GOD BEFORE!"

[–]atree496 2 points3 points ago

Came here for this reference, was not disappointed.

[–]GetsugaSSJ 12 points13 points ago

LIEK DIS IF U SEE THE HAND OF GOD ONE LIKE = ONE PRAYER

[–]HarveyMcGhee 2 points3 points ago

Like = you luv God

Pass = ur going 2 H3LL

[–]CARoth 6 points7 points ago

I'm waiting now for this to pop up on Facebook with some religious pretense.

[–]ajkkjjk52 5 points6 points ago

Like if you believe in Jesus.

Keep scrolling if you're an atheist.

[–]guerarenegada[S] 3 points4 points ago

It'd really be sort of funny, my son's name means venom or poison of god.

[–]YouListening 4 points5 points ago

Really? Samael's not a name you see very often.

[–]guerarenegada[S] 1 point2 points ago

No, but when his father found it and told me(the name, not the meaning) it was an instant YES. Til then all other suggestions had been very lackluster.

And Sam alone is pretty badass name. He couldn't be anyone else.

[–]hobitopia 5 points6 points ago

And Sam alone is pretty badass name. He couldn't be anyone else.

As someone also named Sam, I'm going to agree with you.

[–]Tyrphanax 2 points3 points ago

As a person named Sam, I can verify this.

[–]TheOriginalSamBell 4 points5 points ago

So it begins...

[–]swiftpaw12 0 points1 point ago

I'd like to go on record and say Year Zero is a really f*cked up album...

[–]CsprBzmr 7 points8 points ago

squish

[–]Phast 17 points18 points ago

Checkmate Atheists

[–]Apostolate 4 points5 points ago

The banana fiiiittttttssssss!

[–]MissRedditor 2 points3 points ago

And I the only one left thinking of this God Hand?

[–]Fudgalicious 1 point2 points ago

What. The. Fuck.

[–]milugan 2 points3 points ago

no mames esos edificios apestan a que estan en mexico!

[–]molmu 1 point2 points ago

y el anuncio de peño en el fondo

[–]swiftpaw12 2 points3 points ago

Wait... Where have I seen this...

OH GOD NO IT'S THE PRESENCE YEAR ZERO IS UPON US I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!

[–]cmcl 2 points3 points ago

Everybody thinks their child is God and can do no wrong. Pffft.

Just kidding, this is a great serendipitous shot.

[–]guerarenegada[S] 8 points9 points ago

The 3 week old phone was nearly shattered miliseconds after this. Do no wrong indeed.

[–]notyourstepdad 1 point2 points ago

story?

[–]guerarenegada[S] 2 points3 points ago

We were playing basketball and I set my phone against a wall thingy and set the timer for ten seconds so I could get some pictures of my son and I playing.

He started to walk towards me to play, noticed an unguarded cell phone and went for it. When I walked over to get it from him he bolted, waving it over his head while screaming laughter.

He doesn't have the best grip.

[–]notyourstepdad 1 point2 points ago

well he is a toddler, they could have stubs for hands and it would do them no worse

[–]guerarenegada[S] 1 point2 points ago

If he had stubs I wouldn't be fighting to keep fingers out of my nose half the day. Stubs would be ok til they reach a reasonable age.

[–]notyourstepdad 0 points1 point ago

yeah, I agree

[–]21510320651 1 point2 points ago

This is exactly how I imagined gods smiting people.

[–]Rufert 1 point2 points ago

Someone photoshopped Sovereign into the picture.

[–]another_jerk 1 point2 points ago

all those TV antennas on the roof behind you.., gotta ask - which country is this?

[–]guerarenegada[S] 2 points3 points ago

Mexico.

[–]DataX 0 points1 point ago

Chilango here, saw the building and was absolutely sure it was Mexico City. :P

Villa Coapa by chance?

[–]havesometea1 1 point2 points ago

DON'T JUST STAND THERE GAWPIN!

LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THE HAND OF GOD BEFORE!

[–]Bertongod 1 point2 points ago

Get the sphere to the button before the Wallmaster gets you!

[–]THE_BIG_FOOT 1 point2 points ago

Thought that was Gmod for a sec.

[–]middo 0 points1 point ago

ctrl f, gmod, yup

[–]elmerion 1 point2 points ago

This is how i feel when i play Blitzcrank

[–]ceejiesqueejie 2 points3 points ago

You're about to be smote, good sir.

[–]Wrym 46 points47 points ago

Moments later

[–]MyLifeForKFC 1 point2 points ago

Upvote for Kungfu Hustle reference :)

[–]guerarenegada[S] 1 point2 points ago

Hahaha excellent.

[–]ceejiesqueejie 0 points1 point ago

Aahhahahahaa!! That's great!

[–]kklusmeier -2 points-1 points ago

Have an upvote sir.

[–]ROFLWAWFUL 3 points4 points ago

I believe it is sirette.

[–]Riotmaker 0 points1 point ago

God doesnt have a shadow!

[–]handmetheteabag 0 points1 point ago

God is nothing but a giant man child!

[–]supaflyqtpie 0 points1 point ago

just need to shop a shadow in there

[–]ImJewish 0 points1 point ago

Hannah

[–]guerarenegada[S] 0 points1 point ago

Montana?

[–]TubaKing 0 points1 point ago

I immediately thought of this:

http://www.snopes.com/photos/natural/graphics/godhands.jpg

[–]Wheat-Thins 0 points1 point ago

The basketball looks like a wheel, too. Or at least not spherical.

[–]Precastwig 0 points1 point ago

http://www.dota2wiki.com/images/1/10/Chen_ability_handgod_01.mp3

[–]Kerouwhack 0 points1 point ago

Stop gawking! You act like you've never seen the hand of god before!

[–]cleankolan 0 points1 point ago

Why is the hand of god white?

[–]guerarenegada[S] 1 point2 points ago

Actually, kiddo is Mexican. Also, you.might be thinking of jesus, not sure about the consensus on god's flesh tone.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Buddha Palm technique

[–]RzK 0 points1 point ago

God needs to stop cheating

[–]MrAgoo 0 points1 point ago

Kirsten Dunst starring in Honey I Blew up the Kid 2

[–]sryan2k1 0 points1 point ago

8/10 Would Bang.

[–]VirtualInk 0 points1 point ago

Suddenly,

Super Smash Bros. Brawl - Master Hand.

[–]killslayer 0 points1 point ago

Why's god gotta be white?

[–]guerarenegada[S] 0 points1 point ago

I am white, but my little deity isn't.

[–]effurface 0 points1 point ago

God has chubby baby fingers.

[–]GuardianAlien 0 points1 point ago

Shit. Guess I'm not an atheist no more.

[–]gonosis 0 points1 point ago

Some say it was a warning... Some say it was a sign.

[–]xGodhand 0 points1 point ago

Sorry about that!

[–]Pariah2142 0 points1 point ago

Gods got some stubby fingers.

[–]Pawprint2000 0 points1 point ago

SOMEBODY NEEDS TO PHOTOSHOP A SHADOW OF A HAND ON THE GROUND

[–]ThatEconGuy 0 points1 point ago

Damn perspective, you scary!

[–]1SweetChuck 0 points1 point ago

It would make sense that the hand of god is that of a child.

[–]u1r 0 points1 point ago

Better yet, Master Hand!

[–]Inukii 0 points1 point ago

In game sneak peak at Black and White 3?

[–]RichOfTheJungle 0 points1 point ago

"the clouds will part and the sky cracks open, and god himself will reach his fucking arm through, just to push you down, just to hold you down"

[–]wwoooaaahh 0 points1 point ago

Sweet perspective stuff going on here.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

That's an attractive toddler.

[–]Nebbis 0 points1 point ago

what is this trickery?!

[–]djmm 0 points1 point ago

Is this in Villa Coapa? I used to live there.

[–]winnar72 -4 points-3 points ago

Super hot wife. You win.

[–]guerarenegada[S] 21 points22 points ago

That lady is me, but thanks. I was using a timer on my phone.

[–]winnar72 -2 points-1 points ago

I'm a sucker for glasses, sweet timing on the shot.

[–]YouListening -4 points-3 points ago

You're superhot then. Congratulations on that.

Also, your posts will now forever be blessed with the karma that comes with being an attractive woman on reddit.

[–]guerarenegada[S] 5 points6 points ago

Nah, I have posted better, in focus pics of me and my karma has been pretty regular. But thanks anyway.

[–]Z3F -1 points0 points ago

Am I the only one who sees Big Bird's foot?

[–]gender_bot -5 points-4 points ago

I identified one face in this photo

Face 1:
* 92% confidence that this is a correctly identified face
* Gender is female with 54% confidence
* Approximate Age is 33 with 95% confidence
* Persons mood is happy with 67% confidence
* Persons lips are parted with 91% confidence

Would you like to know more about me? /r/gender_bot

[–]guerarenegada[S] 15 points16 points ago

54% female? 33?? I need some water.

[–]Shellface 2 points3 points ago

…54% confidence.

[–]guerarenegada[S] 2 points3 points ago

Would that not be the same as saying it is only 54% sure I am female?

[–]Shellface 1 point2 points ago

Yes.

[–]OCedHrt 0 points1 point ago

Zoom and enhance!

[–]al343806 0 points1 point ago

To be fair, someone was trying to pick you up in another comment thread. The two should balance each other out.

[–]guerarenegada[S] 0 points1 point ago

The story of my life, right here.

[–]thethingihate -1 points0 points ago

wow. a picture with a hand in it.

[–]balsamicpork -1 points0 points ago

Checkmate Atheists!

[–]Knubinator -1 points0 points ago

CHECKMATE, ATHEISTS

[–]wingie -4 points-3 points ago

I am surprised nobody mentioned the boobs/cleavage yet.

So let me be the first.

EDIT: I'm sorry. I'm a horrible person. I thought it was funny. It was not. I deserve all the downvotes.

[–]linuxlass 4 points5 points ago

So let me be the first.

Please don't.

[–]wingie 0 points1 point ago

okay ><

[–]linuxlass 1 point2 points ago

Thank you for the edit of your original comment. Apology accepted (at least by me).

Please understand that there is a large number of people on Reddit who really don't like the sexist joking, and the way pictures of redditors (and other women, actually) who are doing something interesting are given attention only/primarily in a sexual manner. It makes us feel marginalized and unwelcome. Some of us even even feel sadness, rage, and depression in the face of so much "harmless" sexism on a site we otherwise love so much.

Only by speaking out will it be possible for the culture on Reddit to be more friendly.

Please speak out, or at least downvote, when you come across off-topic joking (or even ruder remarks).

[–]wingie 0 points1 point ago

I intended it more as a sarcastic jab at my surprise on how that hasn't happened yet, but I guess I failed at it miserably.

[–]guerarenegada[S] 0 points1 point ago

I got it, if it matters

[–]wingie 0 points1 point ago

Yaaaay!

[–]gosuprobe -3 points-2 points ago

You (she) look(s) like an ex of mine named Amanda.

[–]guerarenegada[S] 0 points1 point ago

Nope, sorry.

[–]thetardwrangler -3 points-2 points ago

This is dumb. How the hell did it get so many upvotes?

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