this post was submitted on
1,340 points (54% like it)
8,854 up votes 7,514 down votes

funny

subscribe2,536,606 readers

7,618 users here now

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

top 200 commentsshow all 259

[–]Gyrolin 109 points110 points ago

But its pronounced Rah-Pay!

[–]zwerp 82 points83 points ago

Get out of here Mrs. Bucket.

[–]CrumpetsOnToast 44 points45 points ago

A reference to Keeping Up Appearances?
Well there's something I'm pleasantly surprised to see on reddit.

[–]wtcnbrwndo4u 14 points15 points ago

The Bucket residence, lady of the house speaking!

[–]ohnowait 6 points7 points ago

Don't be silly Richard!

[–]StinkinFinger 6 points7 points ago

It's my sister Violet! She's the one with the Mercedes, swimming pool, and room for a pony.

[–]mollypop91 1 point2 points ago

UPVOTES FOR EVERYONE!!!!

[–]fuckyoufuckyou666 11 points12 points ago

I hope its pronounced Rapey.

[–]StinkinFinger 4 points5 points ago

Thats so much better.

[–]captainsnag 1 point2 points ago

Haha - probably rrrrahpey (rolled r)?

[–]LOOK_MY_USERNAME 13 points14 points ago

God let's hope so

[–]Eternity42Immensity 2 points3 points ago

While it is entirely possible her name is Rape, I knew someone with the last name Pape (pronounced Poppy), and a "P" changes to an "R" so easily...

[–]Genghis_John 5 points6 points ago

Pare? I don't get it.

[–]Karaq 2 points3 points ago

Don't try to church it up, son!

[–]SparkySoDope 2 points3 points ago

It's Peter File not pedofile

[–]OMGALEX 1 point2 points ago

Who's a pedophile?

[–]Glostick 0 points1 point ago

Funnily enough, I had a teacher named this, but it was spelled rapee

[–]Z3F 306 points307 points ago

Mrs. Rape

Oh lord, she has a husband.

[–]OmegaArcadia 208 points209 points ago

Mr. Rape is probably a redditor.

[–]Citisol 78 points79 points ago

He is ALL Redditors.

[–]FleeCircus 93 points94 points ago

You know its Karmanaut.

[–]sandman0893 24 points25 points ago

What did I miss this time?

[–]brambell69 37 points38 points ago

Karmanaut banned Shitty Watercolour

[–]PartialChub 20 points21 points ago

Why?

[–]thebeardsman 65 points66 points ago

Because fuck you that's why.

[–]PartialChub 25 points26 points ago

Please do, I'm in a slump currently.

[–]sandman0893 21 points22 points ago

Because Karmanaut is an asshole.

[–]Capsss 6 points7 points ago

Because he's a mean old man

[–]Darklugia 2 points3 points ago

No, I think you're thinking of Mean Mr. Mustard.

[–]BlueThen 7 points8 points ago

Shitty_Watercolour was earning money off of his fame/karma, which was against one of karmanaut's implicit/made-up rules.

[–]BaconChapstick 2 points3 points ago

When has he made money? I am pretty sure he puts it on a tumblr, but that doesn't get him money.

[–]Min_Kimchi 1 point2 points ago

Honestly, I'm guessing you had something better to do.

[–]analweapon 4 points5 points ago

Not me.

[–]bmw_e30 13 points14 points ago

Nice try, Mr. Rape.

[–]skullturf 2 points3 points ago

accualy is dolan

[–]CTRL_ALT_RAPE 4 points5 points ago

/r/dolan is leaking

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]I_am_not_a_black_guy 2 points3 points ago

I am a Mr Rape?

[–]ledzep4life 14 points15 points ago

He probably rapes cats.

[–]slaggernaut 12 points13 points ago

[–]This_is_my_theory 4 points5 points ago

Ha.. rapes cats... rats cape.. geddit

[–]jumpup 1 point2 points ago

mr rape first name i middle name cats

[–]CTRL_ALT_RAPE 1 point2 points ago

So what?

[–]knighmare 9 points10 points ago

or a 13 year old on x-box live

[–]alliebp 2 points3 points ago

Creator of r/jailbait

[–]MisterRape 1 point2 points ago

That I am.

[–]CTRL_ALT_RAPE 1 point2 points ago

Wow! Was that just a lucky guess? Or you know me from somewhere?

[–]TimMitchell 32 points33 points ago

I think this is one of those times I'd advise the woman not to take on the husband's name.

[–]OmegaArcadia 52 points53 points ago

"Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Rape!" "No, actually, he's Mr. Rape. I'm Mrs. Consensualsex."

[–]Consensual_Rex 43 points44 points ago

Yes?

Oh sorry, thought I heard my name.

[–]Bryz_ 8 points9 points ago

Good work, private.

[–]mcreeves 1 point2 points ago

Eyes up here, pervy.

[–]SoosMD 7 points8 points ago

That's a Monty Python sketch if I've ever heard one.

[–]CTRL_ALT_RAPE 4 points5 points ago

That's true, but she didn't have much of a say in it.

[–]kingwolfos 13 points14 points ago

I hope they name their son Richard. Dick Rape.

[–]mimok 2 points3 points ago

Jonas.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]LOOK_MY_USERNAME 10 points11 points ago

It would be funny if his name was Orel

[–]silent_p 4 points5 points ago

He's an analrapist, by profession.

[–]superjentendo 2 points3 points ago

mr. rape: therapist

[–]Honestly_ 1 point2 points ago

I hear he's trying his hand at acting now.

[–]DickyBrucks 6 points7 points ago

"Hello, Mr. Rape"

[–]signine 4 points5 points ago

If I hadn't been adopted, Rape would have been my surname.

As it is, I'm still the product of Rape.

[–]magicbullets 3 points4 points ago

They could have gone for the double barreled option, though thinking about it that could have made things much worse.

[–]pjeff61 2 points3 points ago

Mrs. Rape-Johnson???

[–]Garizondyly 9 points10 points ago

Personally, Mrs. Rape-Smith sounds considerably worse.

[–]WorksForMe 1 point2 points ago

It used to be a perfectly fine profession until the PC thugs ruined it for everyone

[–]cefriano 3 points4 points ago

Her husband's name is actually Harold Tittyfucker, so she decided to keep her maiden name.

[–]get_slade 1 point2 points ago

She took on that name...

[–]ballstothewallsmolls 54 points55 points ago

My kindergarden teachers name was Mrs. Hymen. Didn't get that one till I was 15 or so..

[–]TopographicOceans 77 points78 points ago

To one-up you my Sex Ed teacher was Mr. Hymen. When introducing the body part he said "no relation".

[–]Tophzilla 18 points19 points ago

In elementary school, my Principal was Jack Offman. Another one of those great names that isn't funny until you change schools and get older.

[–]Bio-ScienceGuy 15 points16 points ago

Mine was Mrs. Mister. It was confusing.

[–]redditallreddy 15 points16 points ago

She was married to a catchy eighties band.

[–]poopsmith666 11 points12 points ago

Had a ms dyke in grade 3, got a kick out of that one

[–]ROFLWAWFUL 3 points4 points ago

I had a Mrs. Assing in the 6th grade. She got pissed when we didn't call her Mrs. "A" :P

[–]mcreeves 7 points8 points ago

My grade ten Civics teacher was named Ms. Poon. It was awesome.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Breathing_Balls 20 points21 points ago

My piano teacher was called Joselyn Cox. She should have been a fluffer instead of a teacher.

[–]TheBaltimoron 4 points5 points ago

I'm guessing she was taught by Dick Hyman?

[–]All_Witty_Taken 2 points3 points ago

Was taught by a Mr Whore once.

And my great aunt was called Eva Fanny Lovitt.

[–]PlayingGod 1 point2 points ago

My uncle's name is Richard Headd. 'Dick'.

Note: check out the scared kid on the top right.. "mommy says to forget about the bad stuff, it's almost summer."

[–]Whytiederp 2 points3 points ago

I live in Queensland, Australia and one of the major real estate companies here is called LJ Hooker. They had these ads with a little girl saying "Thank you Mr. Hooker"

Incidentally where I live there is a Hooker Blvd, which goes to a place named Broadbeach. Nobody originally from here seems to find it that funny.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

My elementary school librarian was named "Sharon Seaman," which is even more unfortunate because she had taken her husband's name when she could have kept her maiden name just as easily.

[–]The_Kio 8 points9 points ago

But her maiden name was Santorum. :(

[–]kingwolfos 1 point2 points ago

At least she shares.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

In middle school I had Mrs. Butts as my health teacher. She could not have picked a worse profession. With a name like that, you don't wanna be anywhere near middle-schoolers.

EDIT: Spelling

[–]kingwolfos 4 points5 points ago

Was her husband Seymour?

[–]LebronsHairline 8 points9 points ago

I once had a boss who was a lesbian. Her last name was Clithero.

[–]slightlystartled 1 point2 points ago

Our elementary school art teacher was Ms. Little. She was around 4'11. One day she brought her "friend" in with her, Ms. Man. It wasn't until years later that I learned about lesbians, and an image of Ms. Man's moustachioed face immediately sprang into my mind.

[–]AndThenThereWasMeep 1 point2 points ago

I had a Mrs. Hoeflinger strangely enough

[–]PlumDrop 49 points50 points ago

Except it's not your friend, it's a repost.

[–]quiet_eyes 11 points12 points ago

Maybe OP's friend and the original uploader had the same teacher.

[–]Mrzeede 25 points26 points ago

Oh you and your optimism.

[–]theflyinderp 26 points27 points ago

[–]Sodfarm 3 points4 points ago

I honestly hadn't seen that one before.

[–]PlumDrop 1 point2 points ago

I would agree, except I've seen this reposted AT LEAST 20 times in the past few months. I don't normally mind reposts, except when someone shamelessly tries to claim it as their own original content.

[–]sing_dance_love 7 points8 points ago

And then you find out her first name is Ana L.

[–]redditrandomness 14 points15 points ago

Kid in the top right looks like he's crying.

He must have been the teacher's pet.

[–]mxwjg 30 points31 points ago

[–]Gigafortress 1 point2 points ago

I swear I've seen a post more recent than this as well. This reposting is getting ballsy.

[–]insane9242 20 points21 points ago

TIL DynastyTexas has friends in kindergarten still.

[–]cnostrand 5 points6 points ago

I guess there's no way that this "rough year" happened like twenty years ago?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]rayco 2 points3 points ago

[–]drdob 1 point2 points ago

hmmmmm......your repost of my original post got more karma. I will now kill myself.

[–]Eternity42Immensity 2 points3 points ago

I've never seen it, and a lot of "new" posts are reposts to me, so screw repost whiners.

[–]EdgHG 4 points5 points ago

That is when you apply to have your name legally changed.

[–]TopographicOceans 1 point2 points ago

Like Irving Lipshitz changing his name to Norman Lipshitz? (old Jewish joke. My FIL had millions of them).

[–]DancingOnAPint 2 points3 points ago

It's pronounced, ROP-EEEH

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]haiku_robot 2 points3 points ago

This was on my news 
feed... looks like I know one of 
my friends reddit name.

[–]asstits 1 point2 points ago

Wait till you meet Mr. Rape.

[–]CTRL_ALT_RAPE 1 point2 points ago

No need to wait, he will find you where ever you are.

[–]carinda 1 point2 points ago

Friend of mine teachers middle school. She married a man with the last name Wienerman. Though taking his name is convention she would normally follow she, wisely, chose to keep her maiden name...

[–]part_of_me 1 point2 points ago

i was noticing that all the boys (except 2) had stripes on their shirts....mrs rape was the last thing i noticed.

[–]enigmatticus 1 point2 points ago

[–]Maxfunky 1 point2 points ago

Rape would be an awkward last name to have in Gym class. On a side note, why do Gym teachers think they're too good to use people's first name?

[–]Isatis_tinctoria 1 point2 points ago

Did you go to Cypress Elementary?

[–]jonosvision 1 point2 points ago

My god... if she has a kid do they call it Baby Rape before it leaves the hospital?

[–]Cuahucahuate22 1 point2 points ago

They encountered Rape 5 days a week.

[–]kbarnett514 1 point2 points ago

The 8th grade health/gym teacher at my middle school was Coach Rape (he went by Coach R). This was the man that had to teach us about safe sex and healthy relationships. Ironically, it was the science teacher down the hall that ended up getting arrested for being a pedo.

[–]AyoTech 1 point2 points ago

Reeeeeeeeeeepost

[–]jta0033 1 point2 points ago

I lived near some Rapes in Pittsburg, Texas

[–]moparornocar 3 points4 points ago

I hope they have a child named Richard, then you could call him Dick Rape.

[–]Informationator 2 points3 points ago

All of these people with Rape, Hymen, Hooker, Butts, etc. as last names just need to legally change it to something less horrible. My girlfriend told me about a guy who rented at her apartment complex who went by Dick Pickle. DICK PICKLE. What kind of parents name their kid Richard Pickle and what kind of son shortens it to Dick?!

Then again, let them keep their names. It's a stupid detector.

[–]ziptnf 10 points11 points ago

Maybe Mr. Dick Pickle thought his name was badass and didn't give a fuck about other people's opinions.

[–]wolf93 3 points4 points ago

old

[–]jake614 1 point2 points ago

Wait... Is that Paula Deen? I didn't know her last name was Rape?

[–]lucasfiorella 0 points1 point ago

at my school we have an obese scottish woman named mrs raper

[–]cshellbe 0 points1 point ago

I had a computer teacher in junior high named Mr. Raper!

[–]zerounodos 0 points1 point ago

Shit!

[–]fawker 0 points1 point ago

I pray she stays in elementary school. I doubt she fares well in middle or high school.

[–]superninjalady 0 points1 point ago

My third grade teacher's name was Mrs. Slaughter.

[–]thetiger123 0 points1 point ago

god knows why the school hired her.

[–]trampus1 0 points1 point ago

Whenever I see someone with an obviously silly last name I can't help but wonder why someone didn't change it along the lines.

[–]A_Hairy_Cow 0 points1 point ago

I think a Dr. Rape works somewhere near where I live

[–]frazzlet 0 points1 point ago

I don't know how the men in her family could live with the name Mr Rape. Surely they'd be forced to change it just to make their lives more bearable...

[–]Mr_touchyface 0 points1 point ago

What if "Rape" is all french and shit and is about cooking?

[–]agobayer 0 points1 point ago

um excuse me, its pronounce (ra-pae)

[–]Hyphnip 0 points1 point ago

Things only got worse in Mr. Forced-Sodomy's first grade class.

[–]throw_a_weigh11 0 points1 point ago

I went to school of family with the last name "Raper." I think that may be worse.

[–]BlackShoes 0 points1 point ago

I recognized like half the kids in that class, do all small children look exactly the same?

[–]Winnson 0 points1 point ago

I went to school with the Fuchs (glided 'u' sound).

[–]outloudkat 0 points1 point ago

She wouldn't have got along with my 2nd grade teacher Mme Noe.

[–]TSolo315 0 points1 point ago

I'm assuming she got married AFTER she became a teacher.

[–]barium111 0 points1 point ago

The whole kindergarten?

[–]slaggernaut 0 points1 point ago

In grade 2 I had a Madam Fox. Every time I'd see her it felt like that scene from Wayne's World where Garth sees that blonde woman and lip syncs Foxy Lady.

[–]Ostracized 0 points1 point ago

That's nothing. My grade 2 teacher was named Mrs. De-Ath.

[–]final_count_down 0 points1 point ago

I thought your friend was the done with the huge bump in her head, second photo in from the top right corner.

[–]fuckyoufuckyou666 0 points1 point ago

This made my day.

[–]brhasc 0 points1 point ago

There's a professor at my university with this last name. FYI, it's German and is thus pronounced Rah-puh.

[–]W00tbeer1 0 points1 point ago

Damn I spent 5 minutes looking at the pictures before I noticed the teacher's name.

[–]cefriano 0 points1 point ago

I there was a music teacher at my high school named Ms. Mann. She was rather large and unattractive, probably nearing her late 30's, and had very little chance of finding someone whose last name she could take. About halfway through my time there, she got a PhD, and I'm convinced she did it so that she could at least start going by Dr. Mann. It's not like she did anything with it otherwise.

[–]exir 0 points1 point ago

DM;HS

[–]sschweain 0 points1 point ago

Is it just me or do all kindergarten teachers look the same?

[–]TheBaltimoron 0 points1 point ago

Oh my god, guys, rape isn't funny...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

John Candy is Mrs. Rape.

[–]MysterionVsCthulhu 0 points1 point ago

I knew a 5th grade math teacher... Mrs. Rude. Unfortunately she lived up to her name.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Nah, it was funnier the first time I saw it here...

[–]Kristajay5 0 points1 point ago

Is this from Robinson Primary?

[–]Elxir 0 points1 point ago

For her to be Mrs. Rape, that means they picked Rape rather than the husband's last name..

[–]Ryswick 0 points1 point ago

I looked for a portrait of the ugliest kid before checking out the teacher's name.

[–]Afrowolf 0 points1 point ago

Now who had a rough year? The teacher? Or one of the kids?

[–]homestar440 0 points1 point ago

Does no one else think she looks like Bette Midler?

[–]captainsnag 0 points1 point ago

Anita?

[–]lolcount 0 points1 point ago

At least I now know that I wasn't the only who had a teacher whose last nane was Rape. (1st grade actually, and she was Ms. Rape when I was there 0_0 )

[–]daniel_hlfrd 0 points1 point ago

My kindergarten teacher was Mrs. Hooker. It took us a couple of years, but eventually we got why all the 5th graders laughed when we told them who our teacher was.

[–]hydrogen022 0 points1 point ago

My wife's maiden name is Rape (she also happens to be an English teacher). My last name is Faglie.

Rape-Faglie.

[–]ThaMastaBlasta 0 points1 point ago

I had a professor that was Dr. Rape. He had a PHD in the junk.

[–]Shittier_Paint 0 points1 point ago

[–]Billy_Blaze 0 points1 point ago

"It's pronounced RAPPAY, DAMNIT!"

[–]Sallysaurus 0 points1 point ago

I am almost 100% sure that this is my old school, in fact, one of my old classes. Lamar elementary???

[–]karmaghost 0 points1 point ago

I had a chemistry teacher in high school whose name was "Mr. Holocaust." True story.

Wait, no it isn't.

[–]zachacacac 0 points1 point ago

I had a Mrs. Rape as an art teacher in seventh grade. Terrible name to be teaching at a middle school.

[–]nevertotwice 0 points1 point ago

i don't understand why she wouldn't change her last name

[–]thesidebproject 1 point2 points ago

Maybe she changed her last name to "Rape"...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Rape is another word for Mustard. OMG! She's Colonel Mustard's wife!! Beware any candlesticks!

[–]lbeckett 0 points1 point ago

That teacher's had a rough year, every year.

[–]evancsinclair 0 points1 point ago

"No no no! There's a typo on my name in the year book. It's MS. Rape. I'm not married."

[–]AgentKilroy 0 points1 point ago

My elementary school principal was named Ms. Rap.

[–]jman00555 0 points1 point ago

My 4th grade teacher was (a different) Mrs. Rape!

[–]Heterohabilis 0 points1 point ago

In Canada she'd be Mrs. Canola.

[–]anonymousrapeface 0 points1 point ago

Nice

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

god but when i walk into a kindergarden with a tee-shirt saying mr rape..

[–]OMGALEX 0 points1 point ago

kid on the top right is taking a shit.

[–]uberkonsumer 0 points1 point ago

...and no permission slips were signed that year.

[–]DontLookAtMeh 0 points1 point ago

Oh! Manchaca right?

[–]sweetgreerchic 0 points1 point ago

My doctors name was Dr. Hackett and my OBGYN was Dr. Cooter.

[–]BobSaget12345 0 points1 point ago

i feel bad for MR. Rape

[–]Rozenrot 0 points1 point ago

Had a 'Miss Hooker' in kindergarten, never knew why my parents were laughing until i was a teenager..

[–]leftcoastlove 0 points1 point ago

A classroom full of kindergarteners screaming rape all day sounds like an awesome idea...

[–]pepperman7 0 points1 point ago

There are certain times I think people are being pretentious putting accent marks on their names. This is not one of those times.

[–]ceri23 0 points1 point ago

My elementary school had a Mrs. Browning, Mrs. Pain, Mrs. Slaughter, and Mrs. Drumheller.

[–]Ewaggy23 0 points1 point ago

Here's the thing. At this point in her life as a "Mrs.", she's had the option to NOT be "Mrs. Rape" by either taking her husbands last name, not staying Ms. Rape, or by keeping her maiden name (NOT Ms. Rape) when she got married. She CHOSE to be Mrs. Rape, though. How odd.

[–]Revanide 0 points1 point ago

He always said she was too forceful...

[–]titdirt 0 points1 point ago

Can you imagine a baby being born in her family?

"RAPE BABY BORN"