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they can't possibly be serious (imgur.com)

submitted ago by voxpopulivoxdei

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[–]happy_little_peanut 73 points74 points ago

Have you or someone in your family ever had sex on a religious symbol in front of your dead child on a sunny afternoon in June while eating salt water taffy and simultaneously watching a jack nicholson film? If so, we can help.

[–]Whybanme 43 points44 points ago

You just described my summer camp. Can I get the number?

[–]jwh-666 10 points11 points ago

1-888-45MAURY

[–]Im_why_Waldos_hiding 5 points6 points ago

Help me what? Be MORE awesome?

[–]Socky_McPuppet 5 points6 points ago

Shit, no, it was Dennis Hopper, not Jack Nicholson.

I was this close, man.

[–]PNut_Buttr_Panda 0 points1 point ago

Take it easy, rider.

[–]gomtuu123 1 point2 points ago

while eating beans and simultaneously watching a George Wendt film?

FTFY

[–]borisia 24 points25 points ago

Have you or someone in your family ever sacrificed 20 virgins on a stone tablet while reciting a grimoire in a naked orgy?

[–]Jymotion 1 point2 points ago

oh, naked orgy? sorry

[–]thinkerthought 5 points6 points ago

This reads like an AskReddit post:

Hey Reddit! Have you or someone in your family ever had sex on a religious symbol in front of your dead child? Tell us your best stories. I'll go first.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]ConcreteCrook 13 points14 points ago

You're doing God's work, son

[–]JCXtreme 2 points3 points ago

What did he post? It's deleted now.

[–]ConcreteCrook 0 points1 point ago

SimilarImage was the name. It brought up several times that this image was reposted, and even had the dates it was posted, and the images.

[–]ConcreteCrook 0 points1 point ago

A bot posted that the image had been reposted dozens of times. Brought up the date it was posted and even the image.

[–]Halequin 1 point2 points ago

3 months eh? I'll let it slide this time.

[–]Sit-Down_Comedian 17 points18 points ago

Ok everyone! You can all relax now. He let it slide.

[–]artsnobvandelay 14 points15 points ago

Maury don't play

[–]Lilou88 13 points14 points ago

I would watch the hell out of that episode.

[–]copious 5 points6 points ago

AMA Request, someone who has been on Maury.

[–]PerfectlySeine 31 points32 points ago

This is a Song of Ice and Fire spoiler. Just saying.

[–]waviecrockett 19 points20 points ago

but wouldn't register as such until they see your post about it

[–]ehayman 2 points3 points ago

I wish I had a nickel for every time.

[–]G-awesome 12 points13 points ago

Nobody reads books anymore do they -_- Game of Thrones

[–]Sandalphon22 11 points12 points ago

Well, technically you are citing the wrong book as it was a different book that had that scene in it, not A Game of Thrones. Pushes up glasses, snorts. (Edited to be less spoilerish.)

[–]Erzsabet 0 points1 point ago

Dammit, now I know to expect this when I get to that book -_-

[–]KimJongUno 1 point2 points ago

To be fair, there are a lot of fucking books.

[–]Erzsabet 1 point2 points ago

I think the 23k subscribers to /r/asoiaf alone might disagree.

As well as the 68.5k subscribers to /r/gameofthrones. Granted, some of those may have only seen the show, but I'm sure most of them have at least read the first book as well.

[–]Stupid_smartguy 0 points1 point ago

Game of thrones is a book?

[–]douchewaffle 0 points1 point ago

i think you'd have to change that to "have you ever had sex with someone in your family on a religious symbol in front of your dead child?"

[–]anyalicious 0 points1 point ago

Those are fucking tomes. Fascinating, well written tomes, but they are a dense, often confusing read in a genre that is not popular. So your comment is bullshit. I am sure I can name a ton of books I find intellectually superior to your fantasy novels and I'll make sure to be super smug and use emoticons to prove how much better I am than you.

[–]Stupid_smartguy -2 points-1 points ago

What the fuck is game of thrones? And I'm reading don Quixote right now.

[–]aussiejohn 1 point2 points ago

I thought everyone was into cemetery sex

[–]Ozymandias_Reborn 1 point2 points ago

"anyways so yeah-after the doctor scooped the stillborn out we kinda just said 'fuck it,' drew a six pointed star on the hospital bed and started a-tryin' for n'other'un"

[–]Awesome_waffles 1 point2 points ago

it's a trap! for Witches!

[–]RWN406 1 point2 points ago

Yes, yes I do. Every Thursday unless it's a full moon. Then I'll have sex with the dead child instead.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

You know Maury used to have a respectable show. It was much like Montel, they would find families that are dealing with some kind of tragedy or someone who has made an incredible triumph in life and they would sit there for the entire show and talk about it.

Now every single episode is about baby daddys and cheating spouses, it's really depressing to know he sold out for better ratings. And it's also sad to know that this type of thing gets better ratings than the original show style.

[–]MargoEve 0 points1 point ago

Apparently he needed to fill the void of Springer.

(Phrasing intentional.)

[–]NousDefions 3 points4 points ago

We call that 'Sunday Funday' where I'm from.

[–]goozinheimer 1 point2 points ago

wut

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

How many times have I seen this image

[–]MindlessDream 1 point2 points ago

LET JESUS FUCK YOU.

[–]Doofie27 0 points1 point ago

Gods be good, ACoK spoiler tags please!

shit, wrong sub.

[–]absolutezero1287 0 points1 point ago

There's a reason its called "trash TV".

[–]Lithex 0 points1 point ago

What?

[–]Hoteyez 0 points1 point ago

Da fuck?

[–]TheShadowCat 0 points1 point ago

No takers, better just do another "who's your daddy" episode.

[–]RageMorePlz 0 points1 point ago

Ha! Nice try Maury, not gonna fall for that. Again.

[–]ViperXeon 0 points1 point ago

Meh, somebody from Maury must of been watching The Devils.

[–]Golemfrost 0 points1 point ago

Man don´t you just hate it when those things happen all at once,..

[–]baljot187 0 points1 point ago

Ah yes, the "Antichrist" episode of Maury. Willem Defoe should call in

[–]probablysarcastic 0 points1 point ago

Don't call me Shirley.

[–]BestBlkKidEver 0 points1 point ago

Why yes, yes i have. Wow,these shows are doing a much better job of reaching out to modern people

[–]muddymoose 0 points1 point ago

Fucking caps lock

[–]EngineerDave 0 points1 point ago

Rick Santorum?

[–]N0v1K 0 points1 point ago

me and my wife on prom night, on the steps of the church, she said Jesus wouldn't stop staring.

[–]jbxdavis 0 points1 point ago

poor Joffrey

[–]willxrocks 0 points1 point ago

does it count if it's with a priest...? O.e

[–]TheSkiFreeYeti 0 points1 point ago

Only as part of a ritual to raise Hitler from the dead. But that's normal right?

[–]Asylumrunner 0 points1 point ago

Finally. Asylumrunner, it's your time to shine

[–]bobjohnsonmilw 0 points1 point ago

Them asking suggests they have at least one incident, and are trying to arrange a whole show of their usual insanity.

[–]silasioalejandro 0 points1 point ago

hahaha jaime and cersei do exactly this in A Storm of Swords. Leave it to GRRM to write out maury's episodes for him

[–]neotifa 0 points1 point ago

Cersei and Jamie did

[–]cutiepie123 0 points1 point ago

Ok that made me giggle

[–]bettysurfchick 0 points1 point ago

they possibly can't be serious... ftfy

[–]Slimshady127 0 points1 point ago

Yes 2times in cabo

[–]DrRetarded 0 points1 point ago

You have to cast a wide net to get all the crazies.

[–]moldy912 0 points1 point ago

Yes, I am serious. And please, don't call me Sh—

[–]huntrguy102 0 points1 point ago

Obviously photoshopped hahahahah

[–]Adamea13 0 points1 point ago

YOLO??

[–]beanss -1 points0 points ago

You understand the stories portrayed on Maury aren't real right?

[–]Relevantspite -2 points-1 points ago

I NEED TO SEE THIS EPISODE.

[–]lexlou95 -1 points0 points ago

happens all the time. dang, maury, how'd ya know?

[–]Le_Petit_Lapin -1 points0 points ago

Aw bless, the OP still thinks those shows are real.

[–]Kbear52 -1 points0 points ago

But I have heard if photoshop Mmmmm... All my family do it

[–]uberkonsumer -2 points-1 points ago

No Maury, but I've done it in front of your dead child. Don't you remember the Sabbath? ... What so now act like you don't know me... whatevs... bitch

[–]onetimebsanders -2 points-1 points ago

I knew I couldn't be the only one. It's kind of a pain having to haul around the dead kid but when my wife pulls out the cross and it's about to go down, it's totally worth it. Amirite?

[–]BALTIM0R0N -2 points-1 points ago

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say I don't think they think they're going to find those people, real or not. It's just to get people thinking they might see an interesting story like that so they'll watch the next show.

[–]aman1211 -2 points-1 points ago

wut

[–]Ceramic_owl -2 points-1 points ago

Game of Thrones anyone?

[–]Pilot824 -2 points-1 points ago

Have you or someone in your family ever had sex on a religious symbol in front of your dead child

No... Cant say I have

[–]ScottishUnicorn -2 points-1 points ago

I'm pretty sure this is a Game of Thrones joke.

[–]Aloisia -2 points-1 points ago

Hahaha Game of Thrones.

[–]droden -2 points-1 points ago

A game of thrones spoiler

[–]zoobiezoob -3 points-2 points ago

done it, when I was a security guard at a catholic college used my keys to get in late & I nailed my girfriend on the alter of the little campus church. It was just sex to me but she was very catholic and I thought her head was gonna pop off she was so wound up with naughtiness! Catholic chicks, man!

[–]sycoraxfleet -2 points-1 points ago

This is journalism at its finest. They just don't cover things like this in the mainstream media nowadays, do they.

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