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all 101 comments

[–]phliuy 120 points121 points ago

I would watch the hell out of fully armoured broadsword fighting.

They could even make an early-UFC type tournament, with a competitor from each style.

I suppose you could dull the weapons for safety or something silly like that.

[–]DrascaL 37 points38 points ago

Holy balls that would be awesome.

[–]shotty_t 3 points4 points ago

I agree

[–]cockmongler 2 points3 points ago

I did that on Monday. For some reason it's not popular. sigh

[–]prophecy7777 1 point2 points ago

I do that Wednesday, Saturday, and sometimes Thursdays. I don't understand either.

[–]jesushitlerchrist 12 points13 points ago

It would be the highest rated show in television history, no doubt. You could even do Ultimate Warrior or whatever that shit show was like it should have been. Guys running at each other with huge-ass axes and pikes and oh my god I've been waiting for this show my whole life.

[–]JangSaverem 4 points5 points ago

Truth be told I WOULD pay to watch people in armor using melee swords (dull edges and stuff) and just go at it until surrender. It would be highly regulated and I feel like it would be less injuries than even UFC. It would be pretty boss.

[–]somedude2012 4 points5 points ago

This already exists. http://usaknights.org/

That link is to the American team for a world wide armored combat competition in which they use real steel weapons. There are videos to their fights on Youtube. The competition was end of April, 1st week of May.

The SCA does this as well, but a) with an eye for safety and differently. Mixing steel weapons and steel armor is a recipe for high insurance premiums and injuries, so we split it into heavy fighting (steel armor with rattan weapons) and fencing (steel weapons). You also get the middle ground of cut and thrust, which is steel weapons at speed with the addition of cuts, which fencing doesn't allow for safety issues.

Point being, this stuff exists. You just have to look for it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

btw, fencing isn't as safe as you think it is, so I DEMAND FIGHT TO THE DEATH (or until the other yields)

[–]Sibblin 1 point2 points ago

It is pretty safe actually. I think 1 person has died in the last 20 years, at least, and freak accidents happen everywhere. Most injuries are normal things like twisted ankles etc.

[–]somedude2012 0 points1 point ago

Fencing in what format? Olympic? Or historical/WMA/SCA fencing (in the round)?

Olympic fencing is less safe than fencing in the round, due primarily to the weapons and movements the fencers use, but even then injuries related to puncture are pretty rare. In both cases what you're trying to stop is not the blade, but the remnant of the broken blade with its jagged tip.

In either case, though, I have to agree with Sibblin. There aren't a lot of fencing injuries that occur from blades striking bodies. You're mostly looking at twisted knees and ankles, not broken swords through eye sockets.

[–]deadwisdom 1 point2 points ago

Unfortunately much of the actual tactics used in armoured longsword have to do with breaking joints and bones regardless of the dullness of the weapon.

[–]Kensin 3 points4 points ago

[–]AloSec 7 points8 points ago

Sorry guys, I've been there and it wasn't really anything special. The horses were cool as fuck though

[–]Bandit1379 4 points5 points ago

That's probably because the fights are staged.

[–]thoven 4 points5 points ago

But you get to eat chicken breasts with your bare hands and drink beverages from giant mugs!

Also, yellow.

[–]AloSec 2 points3 points ago

Nah bro. Green. Also, the food wasn't that great. The red soup stuff was pretty kickin' though.

[–]pkempf[S] 1 point2 points ago

YELLOW KNIGHT FOREVER.

[–]Null_Reference_ 2 points3 points ago

Don't listen to this heretic, it is way fun, albiet somewhat corny. And the food is great.

[–]Deracination -2 points-1 points ago

Or, you know, just do Dagorhir. It's foam-weapon fighting. Costumes are recommended, but RP is certainly not required....we're there to fight, and it's a fucking blast.

[–]snoharm 13 points14 points ago

I want to watch duels on TV, not wail on a big crowd with a foam sword. I'm sure it's a fun hobby, just not quite the same thing.

[–]Deracination 0 points1 point ago

It's unlikely to ever be televised, but we duel almost as much as we have large-scale fights. Every event I've been to has had tournaments with: spears, single one-handed weapons, dual one-handed weapons, two-handed weapons, sword & shield, and free equipment. There are a ton of different fighting styles for each weapon set and a lot of VERY skilled competitors. I assure you it's a lot more than just random wailing.

[–]phliuy 0 points1 point ago

How does one train spear fighting? do you have lanistas like ancient rome?

[–]alexincode 11 points12 points ago

A lanista always pays his debts.

[–]Deracination 3 points4 points ago

Well, everyone's divided into realms, which are basically just the different local groups. Each realm has a different organizational structure ranging from a full squire-to-knight training process to everyone just meeting a fighting once a week. So yes, some realms have organized training. We don't do that so much, opting instead for frequent medium-sized battles (20-30 people).

A lot goes into spear fighting, though. I'm mainly a spear fighter myself, so I could talk about this all day, but I'll keep it brief. The technique changes depending on whether you're alone, on a shield line, or in a small group. It also depends on what you're facing and whether there are other spears around.

For instance, fighting one-on-one, I'll use a spear with a dagger in my main hand as well. I'll basically just kite, always keeping it pointed at them even if I turn and run. You can do some interesting jump-spins that let you keep momentum while turning for a stab. If they catch up, I'll drop the spear from my right hand and use it to pin down their sword arm with my left while basically hugging them and backstabbing with the dagger. That's against a shield, at least. It's entirely different against another spear, a florentiner, or a two-handed weapon.

On a shield line, one of the most popular things involves two spears some distance apart. They'll find an enemy shield between them. First, one spear stabs hard against the near edge of the shield, forcing that side back. Immediately after that, the other spear comes in behind the other side of the shield for the kill. This works even better if it's a punch shield instead of one that straps onto your arm because there's really nothing preventing it from rotating.

So yea, those are just two very specific examples of things you need to know. There are a million different tricks like this, besides basic kinematics and footwork, that you need to know to use any weapon set well.

[–]phliuy 0 points1 point ago

That sounds pretty fun. Can you do some troy style spear and shield fighting?

Also how would one get started with such acts?

[–]Deracination -1 points0 points ago

If you can carry it, you can fight with it. I've fought with two swords and two spears in-hand and a shield strapped to my back. We also have about a twelve-foot-long, two-foot-diameter, piece of 2-inch PVC with couch cushions for padding. It takes forever to swing, but sends them flying even if they block it. Most comfortable way to die, though....

Check out the Dagorhir website and see if there's a realm near you. Even if there isn't, you can always go to an event. You could also check out SCA, Amtgard, and Belegarth, although I very much prefer our ruleset.

[–]rocksolid142 0 points1 point ago

First part ain't true. There's shittons of rules about weapon creation. Hence, by friend and I quit and just made our own shit and fight with it.

[–]Deracination 0 points1 point ago

What I meant was that you can carry any number of passing weapons.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Deracination 1 point2 points ago

What we do is not LARPing. Seriously. Most of the time, we're not even in costume. We're there to fight, not to role-play. There's nothing wrong with LARPing, we're just not LARPing.

[–]mitchij2004 2 points3 points ago

Be real.

[–]GraffyHooves 26 points27 points ago

"What do we say to the god of death?"

"Not toda-JESUS-FRICKIN-CHRIST!!!"

[–]Arvald 10 points11 points ago

god dammit i cant stop watching this gif.

also im almost certain that is the cold steel greatsword

[–]AcolyteRB 19 points20 points ago

valyrian steel

[–]seeegma 10 points11 points ago

it is; this is from Tosh.0

[–]klikhalno 9 points10 points ago

and this shows the wrong way to parry a sword, and the wrong way to swing a zweihander, technically the 2nd hand is paced above the guard, hence the leather wrapping (at least with that type of zweihander, others had a longer hilt to accomplish the same goal)

[–]nicesalamander 8 points9 points ago

lightning zweihander op.

[–]ipitythefail 4 points5 points ago

DARK SOULS

[–]SyntaxErr00r 6 points7 points ago

A zweihander need not necessarily be half sworded at all times.

[–]nitefang 4 points5 points ago

Well, in this situation you wouldn't parry at all. No reason to block that as it will miss anyway. Further more you probably couldn't parry that sword with a foil.

[–]cockmongler 1 point2 points ago

There are at least 5, perfectly good ways of holding a sword of this type (assuming heavy gauntlets). In order of decreasing reach they are:

1) Single hand on the pommel (not recommended if you're expecting a counter).

2) Left hand on pommel, right gripping below the cross.

3) Left on pommel/hilt, right gripping above the cross.

4) One hand on hilt, one gripping half way up the blade.

5) Holding the sword by the pointy end. A lot of zweihanders had points on the cross and pommel and could be turned around and used as a polearm.

[–]magzillas 22 points23 points ago

And in this two second clip we see illustrated a potential weakness of fencing weaponry in non-fencing combat.

[–]pkempf[S] 24 points25 points ago

Not to mention someone using the Indiana Jones method and just pulling out their gun.

[–]BreakRulesGetCoins 5 points6 points ago

Non-fencing? Check out the German school of long sword fencing.

[–]urzaplanewalker 0 points1 point ago

You do HEMA?

[–]BreakRulesGetCoins 0 points1 point ago

[–]LeChTo 2 points3 points ago

Well, anyone will a shred of ability would have dipped their foil or sabre when he swung, then stabbed him in the face when he had no guard.

[–]pgan91 6 points7 points ago

Not really. If you handle foil, you know that you should almost never let it go.

If he swung like that against an actual fencer, the result would be a stab in the face/chest. Throwing yourself off balance can be a bitch.

[–]cockmongler 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, the two hander guy is doing it very wrong. For the effect he was going for he should have opened with a Krumpau, a diagonally downwards cut against the enemies sword, leaving the blade at a 45 degree angle from your opponent. Usually followed by a cut at the opponents head. Even if the foil had gone around the cut he'd still be struggling to make an attack in the available time.

[–]impatiswim 2 points3 points ago

James Bond will show up.

[–]Ayatrollah_Khomatmei 4 points5 points ago

I instantly thought of the Gustav Graves fight scene.

Despite what everyone says, it was a great movie. Haters gonna hate.

[–]impatiswim 2 points3 points ago

I'm with you there, I loved that movie.

[–]KevMike 0 points1 point ago

I remember watching that movie with a friend just as enthusiastic about it, too. It's not going to win any awards, but people need to just relax. I thought it was fun as fuck(ing).

[–]SealCubClubbingClub 2 points3 points ago

We have enough knife crime

[–]bubblesthefencer 17 points18 points ago

I want to do this to every saber fencer. Saber is a broken weapon...

[–]bubblesthefencer 21 points22 points ago

Oohh one downvote!?! Bring it on saber fencers!!!

[–]migopod 7 points8 points ago

Take my stinkin' epee upvotes.

[–]bubblesthefencer 0 points1 point ago

I was talking with a coach down in L.A and we've hashed out what I think is an awesome idea. Take saber and remove their weird sense of right-of-way. No more of this charging,slashing wildly way of fencing.

[–]DrJeckylMrHyde 0 points1 point ago

Introduce bucklers.

[–]Sibblin -2 points-1 points ago

Epee? 'Tis a silly weapon...

[–]nitefang 5 points6 points ago

Saber is just foil for people who can't aim and have way too much upper body strength.

[–]grubber788 3 points4 points ago

Don't you mean, "En garde?"

[–]Raneados 1 point2 points ago

Gun.

[–]diosakio 2 points3 points ago

Foil4life

[–]cockmongler -1 points0 points ago

I'll take my military sabre over every one of the weapons you would choose. Then we'll see who's weapon is broken.

[–]CPU1 -1 points0 points ago

It used to be legal to cross your feet while moving forward. Back then it was a broken weapon.

[–]toaztyxpancakes 1 point2 points ago

how do you guys not kniw that thats tosh.0

[–]jg9000 0 points1 point ago

It was a pretty memorable scene, and the comedy central logo in the bottom right pretty much gives it away

[–]jg9000 1 point2 points ago

Redditors complain about Tosh using content from Reddit to make jokes on Tosh.0, but then Redditors use content from Tosh.0 to make jokes on Reddit. Hmmmm....

[–]Gonnnondorf 1 point2 points ago

The dude on the left is holding the foil wrong. He should have pommel tucked into his wrist. Gives you better stabbing. The way he's holding it, is to swing or cut.

[–]AccusationsGW 0 points1 point ago

See the end of Rob Roy for this exact situation carried out to conclusion.

[–]IMakeIce 1 point2 points ago

Rob lost, the only reason he survived was because his opponent was a pompous asshole who wanted to gloat over his prey.

In the end, the better swordsman wins. Weapon is no issue, and the light blade has several advantages over the heavy blade, and vice versa.

[–]AccusationsGW 0 points1 point ago

I think psychology and reading your opponent is just as important as technique in this case. It makes the victory multifaceted.

[–]YouMadeMeDumber -1 points0 points ago

And that movie overly played up those differences based on false assumptions about weapon types.

[–]blm95tehe 0 points1 point ago

i would watch the hit out of that

[–]Earthwormzim 0 points1 point ago

Takes one hell-of-a-gif to actually make me laugh out loud. This one succeeded with flying colors!

[–]Uredus 0 points1 point ago

Misread as "I want someone to do in London this year".

[–]Gr8WhiteGrammarNazi 0 points1 point ago

Such elegant balance even in club-slingin'.

[–]Hornet72 0 points1 point ago

  .

[–]AmandaHuggenkiss 0 points1 point ago

They would be thrown out and banned from fencing comps for life.

[–]cockmongler 1 point2 points ago

Not at my type of fencing comp :-)

[–]Mousi 0 points1 point ago

"I see your foil and raise you a freaking claymore. your argument is invalid."

[–]TheFrostyLegend 0 points1 point ago

That is the single worst foolish I have ever seen, they made no effort to avoid the broadsword which would have provided them with the easist hit ever.

[–]a_giant_bag_of_dong 0 points1 point ago

They do it all the time in Limehouse.

[–]trousershorts 0 points1 point ago

better if it was the William Wallace claymore!

[–]i_no_like_u 8 points9 points ago

better yet if he just shot bolts of lightning from his arse

[–]edtheoverlander 0 points1 point ago

Even better: Lightsaber attack

We all know the technology's just about ready anyways and this would be a fantastic way to present it.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]nitefang 0 points1 point ago

In this situation the fencer would win. The broad sword swings and misses while the fencer dips under his aggressive swing and lunges. If he is talented he hits the heart of lungs and the guy drops. If he misses those he pulls it out and jumps backward while the broadsword fencer tries to stop the swing and start a new one, which the fencer will also dodge.

In a bout with blunted weapons, fencer will win very, very easily.

[–]Pendragon22 1 point2 points ago

Yah that's what I'm sayin, fencer would win the bout. But since parrying clearly isn't an option the fencer runs a decent risk of being hit after he scores a lethal blow. And completely dodging a blow from a two handed sword swung by someone whose actually skilled with it is pretty damned hard. And besides, in this GIF the fencer clearly sucks. All he needed to do was disengage or coupe, then lunge to the neck/heart or anywhere vital, and dead two-hander.

[–]cockmongler 0 points1 point ago

Not necessarily, every taken a longsword to the knee? Sports fencers are rarely taught to withdraw the leg.

[–]nitefang 0 points1 point ago

Except for Epee fencers, who have to be aware of the leg as those tend to be a not uncommon target for your opponent.

[–]somedude2012 -1 points0 points ago

I used to be a fencer, but then I took a longsword to the knee?

I did take a longsword to the upper wrist/lower forearm during some Liechtenauer work, and I wasn't wearing gauntlets. I didn't need to use that arm for the rest of the weekend anyhow...

[–]unit2244 -3 points-2 points ago

tosh.......upvote

[–]alexincode -1 points0 points ago

I like how he's still wearing fencing gear. Keeping up the pretense of an honest fight and then WHAM.

[–]Epershand -3 points-2 points ago

Actual fencer representen.