By Simon Rich

romuloxus · 3 months

Obviously the appendix is a self destruct mechanism in case we decide to rise up, better check your appendix

WPhoenix · 3 months

And totally agree.

LuckiestBadLuckBabe · 3 months

Dammit I meant to title it "Intelligent Design/ Creationism"

MissBelly · 3 months

Not that I believe in a god, but as a soon-to-be physician, I'm sick of seeing the appendix portrayed as having no purpose. The appendix actually plays an important role in the adult immune system, secreting a large quantity of IgA antibodies that protect the intestine downstream from bacterial overgrowth. It also serves as a site of amine production that aids in homeostasis in fetal development.

Unrelated, but gotta protect the appendix.

SmashingTool · 3 months

Sigh. The appendix is not vestigial.

Edit: Wow, I'm shocked i'm being downvoted for this in /r/Atheism of all places... Please do a little reading:

http://www.scientificamerican.com/podcast/episode.cfm?id=thats-no-vestigial-organ-thats-my-a-09-08-24

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/84937.php

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=what-is-the-function-of-t

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/10/071008102334.htm

Canadian_Beacon · 3 months

Anyone want to volunteer to transpose the text? I'll give you cookies.

bhaku · 3 months

This kills the person.

rezzeJ · 3 months

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_G9awnDCmg

case-o-nuts · 3 months

[deleted]

minodul · 3 months

The appendix is still useful in very low developed parts of the world. After a strong diarrhea the appendix helps do rebuild the bacteria in the guts because it acts like a vault for them. This can be crucial for survival if you only have little food and you need to absorb the maximum from it.

Lameosity · 3 months

Funny, but only one correction, the appendix had a purpose a long time ago. Not anymore though.

spatz2011 · 3 months

That angel then said "I gotta warn these people!" And that's how we got Satan.

jameskauer · 3 months

If I were god, I would program in a lemmings type self destruct too. I love watching them wiggle back and forth and explode.

grettir_net · 3 months

Reminded me of this joke:
The Lord decided it was time to make a companion for Adam.

He summoned St. Peter and told him of His decision.

He told St. Peter that he wanted to make a being who was similar to man, yet was different, and could offer him comfort, companionship and pleasure.

The Lord said He would call this being woman. So St. Peter went about creating this being, which was similar to man yet was different in ways that would be appealing and could provide physical pleasure to man. When St. Peter had finished creating this being who could now be called woman he summoned The Lord.

'Ah, St. Peter, once again you have done an excellent job', said The Lord

'Thank You, O Great One, I live but to serve.' replied St. Peter. 'I am now ready to provide the brain, nerve endings and senses to this.... ... woman. I require your assistance on this matter Lord.'

'You shall make her brain, slightly smaller, yet more intuitive, more feeling, more compassionate, and more adaptable than man's,' said God.

'The nerve endings, said St. Peter. 'How many will I put in her hands?'

'How many did we put in Adam?', asked The Lord.

'Two hundred, O Mighty One', replied St. Peter.

'Then we shall do the same for this woman,' said The Lord.

'And how many nerve endings shall we put in her feet?'

'How many did we put in Adam?', asked The Lord.

'Seventy five, O Mighty One', replied St. Peter.

'Ah yes, these beings are constantly on their feet so they benefit from having less nerve endings there, do the same for woman', said He.

'How many nerve endings should we put in woman's genitals', inquired St. Peter.

'How many did we put in Adam?', asked The Lord.

'Four hundred and twenty, O Mighty One', replied St. Peter.

'Of course, we did want Adam to have a means of receiving extra pleasure in his life, didn't we? Do the same for woman', said The Lord.

'Oh Yes, Great Lord', said St. Peter.

'No, wait.' said The Lord. 'Let's give her ten thousand, I want her to scream my name EVERY Time!'

Found here

xmmt123 · 3 months

God: Hey look, I created life!

Angel: Wow, cool! That is so amazing! Do these living creatures need to do anything to stay alive?

God: Well, they need to drink water at least every couple of days or they die.

Angel: That kind of sucks. What about the creatures that don't live near water?

God: They die

Angel: Ok ... is that all they need to stay alive?

God: No, life must kill other life and eat it to survive.

Angel: The fuck is wrong with you God?

9Flame · 3 months

What's funny is that humans have evolved to the point where they do not need this organ anymore.

The appendix used to serve a purpose though. I googled it and the tldr version is that it used to be involved in immune functions and storage of foreign substances while antibodies were created (It's really a bit more complicated than that though).

Researchers have also shown that the appendix is involved in the production of molecules that help to direct the movement of lymphocytes to various other locations in the body.

buttnado · 3 months

Fucking brilliant.

The_Loaf · 3 months

The appendix was most likely used by our early humanoid ancestors for eating and digesting plants better. We just do not have much use for it anymore with our diet that includes more meat and grain.

Bresdin · 3 months

As a christian that's exactly how I imagine/hope it happened.

UnknownToaster · 3 months

Well, the appendix was used by early man to help digest raw meat and other things. They are now vestigial, but they had a purpose. Love the post, OP.

dragonchaser57 · 3 months

I had my appendix out when i was little so i can completely agree

animateclay · 3 months

I'm glad I have removable teeth. That way if I get a cavity the dentist doesn't have to remove my jaw. That would be truly bad design.

raegunXD · 3 months

This almost made me pee. XD

SpaceOdysseus · 3 months

It makes perfect sense, it's a self destruct button, if you're doing something god disapproves of, he can blow you up. Because he is a loving god.

ElAyDubleZee · 3 months

I just had mine taken out this week. This coincidentally made my day.

rand0mguy1 · 3 months

Hilarious. Is there page 2 of this?

Undoer · 3 months

Fun way of looking at the idea: God occasionally modifies the blue prints when he's drunk and doesn't realise until the product is out of beta (and releasing on time)

Fibonacci35813 · 3 months

What kind of good designer would 'put an amusement park next to a sewage system?' What kind of designer thinks its a good idea to breathe through the same hole we eat through? What kind of designer thinks cancer is a good design decision? Was Malaria a part of that design? what about viruses and bacteria? We still can't do anything real substantial about viruses, and if we hadn't discovered penicillin we would still be getting killed by simple bacterial infections. And, now that we have penicillin, is it part of god's design for bacteria to become resistant? - Neil Degrasse Tyson

askyou · 3 months

I always think about this when religious people talk about circumcision. Why did God give us foreskin if he wants it removed at birth?

briang1339 · 3 months

My appendix almost killed me. Good thing people are smarter than the dumbass who put that thing in my in the first place so they could take it out.

kierankd10 · 3 months

Is it weird that I came here to see what the appendix actully use to be for?

IHunt · 3 months

What's that?

Those are the testicles, they are necessary to create new life and are therefore very important. They are also extremely sensitive, merely bumping them can result in excruciating pain.

Well then shouldn't they be incased in bone? Why did you dangle them between the legs in a thin leather sack, like a tiny speed bag? And why are they at tee ball bat backswing height?

Shut up.

Dmixta · 3 months

The appendix is actually supposed to house bacteria that help with the breakdown other bacteria that is harmful to the human body in the left over food in the large intestine. When the large intestine is empty of the food the bacteria is said to reside within the appendix so as to not destroy the insides of the large intestine. It only explodes when the appendix becomes blocked when leftover food in the large intestine find a way into the opening of the appendix causing a blockage not allowing the bacteria to go out and do its job the right way. This in turn changes the bacteria's course to eat away at the actual appendix itself instead of the leftover food weakening the tissue, causing it to rupture.

DuMaNue · 3 months

That's what I call a not so intelligent design...

TheR-Dog · 3 months

This quotes G_d, proves His existence.

Gravyness · 3 months

love how the angel uses the expression 'geez'

grumpypotato · 3 months

Except the appendix has a use. Early man needed it when he lived in rural areas in small groups that wouldn't see new individuals for years at a time.

nildeea · 3 months

Angel: and this?
God: that's the brain.
Angel: and what is it used for?
God: I expect them not to use it at all.

Rikplaysbass · 3 months

I imagine a "meh" when he shrugs.

toosas · 3 months

the extra teeth are easy: god put them there to test our faith

StoryGopher · 3 months

We also have a third eyelid (Nictitating membrane) like a cat but we no longer have the muscles required to use it.

PlastiKFood · 3 months

This actually made me laugh out loud with some tears.

CANNAGEDDAHALLALUYA · 3 months

Read God's voice as Philip J Fry, left happy.

whoawut · 3 months

They even came with a Self-destruct Mode!

oneofthemThrowaways1 · 3 months

I have never been so afraid of not knowing about my random body parts.

bentreflection · 3 months

This kills the human... sometimes.

PepeAndMrDuck · 3 months

Any more things like this by this guy Simon Rich? I would love to read more...

Kooister · 3 months

Not trying to side with anyone here but...

"In this context, the function of the appendix appears to be to expose white blood cells to the wide variety of antigens, or foreign substances, present in the gastrointestinal tract. Thus, the appendix probably helps to suppress potentially destructive humoral (blood- and lymph-borne) antibody responses while promoting local immunity. The appendix--like the tiny structures called Peyer's patches in other areas of the gastrointestinal tract--takes up antigens from the contents of the intestines and reacts to these contents. This local immune system plays a vital role in the physiological immune response and in the control of food, drug, microbial or viral antigens. The connection between these local immune reactions and inflammatory bowel diseases, as well as autoimmune reactions in which the individual's own tissues are attacked by the immune system, is currently under investigation." --Loren G. Martin, professor of physiology at Oklahoma State University http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=what-is-the-function-of-t

tl;dr: Appendix is part of the immune system

benderpool · 3 months

The appendix and tonsils exist to cultivate cultures that build your immune system.

mwdiver9 · 3 months

Im a Christian.........that is fucking hilarious

Ignitus1 · 3 months

I could read a whole book written like this

ReverendShot777 · 3 months

I have not taken the time to read through all the comments here but has anyone else pointed out that the current uselessness of the extra teeth and the appendix say nothing against the argument of ID?

ID is about intelligent guidance of evolution, not creationism, and as a result the extra teeth and appendix would still make sense under that theory as they were once useful to humans, but our way of life has evolved beyond their need.

FredFredrickson · 3 months

I have a hard time not reading this in Seth McFarlane's voice for some reason.

firstaccounttemp · 3 months

Is anyone else wondering... what does this have to do with free-range chickens?

mastercylinder2 · 3 months

If you thought that was funny I highly recommend Simon Rich's book Ant Farm. Great bathroom book.

cannibalbitch · 3 months

The appendix reference seems like a moot point. As stated, it actually does have a function as lymphoid tissue for antigenic exposure in the digestive tract. However, let's say that it has no function. Wouldn't this also be an argument against evolution as evolving organisms tend to get rid of and not waste resources on developing potentially life-threatening body parts?

wayndom · 3 months

Angel: Are those wisps of hair on the arms and legs?

God: Uh, yeah...

Angel: What are they for? Surely they couldn't keep the body warm..?

God: Look, I was drunk, OK?

machomike22 · 3 months

But... The appendix used to serve a purpose, like when we were cavemen and ate leaves or something.

Still funny though.

TheSecretMe · 3 months

Is there ever going to be an end to the posts intended to be smug about intelligent design that only end up showing how ignorant the creator is?

Both wisdom teeth and the appendix have or had a purpose. They're not a valid argument against intelligent design because if there was a designer it wouldn't make him look stupid.

xWhiteKid · 3 months

Now I'm scared that my appendix will explode at any moment! Thanks Reddit!

silverscreemer · 3 months

This could go on forever.

EVERY part we have is screwed up in some way.

"Those are the eyes, if you look at the sun or the reflection of the sun you'll go blind, also you can be born blind or go blind for lots of other reasons.

Those are the ears, they can be used to hear things but if you're around loud things the ears will totally break, also you can be born with broken ears.

This is the tongue, it's easy to accidentally bite, also the cheeks are too, and it hurts a lot.

these are feet, if you walk in the snow they can freeze and go black with frostbite so they have to be cut off, and if you step on anything sharp it;ll hurt, and hot things really hurt a lot too. Also people that like feet too much will be thought of as really weird.

This is the nose, hair will grow in it, and also it'll clog up and really bother people. Mucus is a really cool thing that is basically more trouble than it's worth, and these are the tonsils, they'll get infected and you'll have to get them removed, often at a really young age.

These are lungs, they're sort of not needed because I'm God so I can basically make people that don't need to breathe, but instead I'll make them so that they die after a few brief moments of not having fresh air. Like, in the water I'll make most of the earth consist of, and in outer space.

This is a hang nail, humans will have fun with these...

SporkOfThor · 3 months

Christians have this covered. God created the world perfect. Adam and Eve screwed it up and passed on the original sin "stain" not only to us, but the rest of the earth as well. Anything that ever goes wrong is a trickle-down effect from original sin, i.e., you have only yourself to blame for everything, ever. Volcanoes? Your fault. Deadly Winters? Your fault. The horrible dance involving cheetahs and antelopes? Your fault.

trollstram60 · 3 months

The appendix actually serves a purpose in a human fetus...

Source: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=what-is-the-function-of-t

Esememon · 3 months

I just finished reading the GQ interview with Bill Murray, so imagining him as god worked out pretty well here.

Panigg · 3 months

You know the appendix actualy has/had a use. It's to repopulate your intestines with bacteria in case they got wiped by an infection/virus. Not that this happens to us anymore, but it's not completely useless.

RonDerpundy · 3 months

God works in mysterious ways...


New posts:	New	Rising
Self posts:	New	Relevant
Non-image posts:	New	Relevant


GodlessWomen	YoungAtheists	AtheistParents
BlackAtheism	AtheistGems	DebateAnAtheist
skeptic	agnostic	freethought
antitheism	humanism	Hitchens
a6theism10	tfbd	AdviceAtheists

Events
10/5-6	NAPCON2012 - Boston
08/11	Regional Conference - St. Paul MN

Ex* Groups
ex-Muslim	ex-Catholic	ex-Mormon
ex-JW	ex-Jew	ex-SistersinZion
ex-Bahai	ex-Christian	ex-Adventist

atheism

Help Atheist Organizations!

MODERATORS

atheism

Help Atheist Organizations!

MODERATORS

you'll need to login or register to do that

create a new account

login