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top 200 commentsshow all 340

[–]koopa_coffee 416 points417 points ago

[–]NorwegianPickle 135 points136 points ago

If you could get girls pregnant from kissing, Drake from Drake and Josh must have a lot of explaining to do...

[–]GraveDigger1337 36 points37 points ago

Didn't you know girls could get pregnant from bathing with other boys?

http://www.nj.com/parenting/amber_watsontardiff/index.ssf/2009/07/teen_pregnant_from_sperm_in_ho.html

[–]ThatJesterJeff 112 points113 points ago

That's some hardcore sperm! Surviving amongst the pool chemicals, locating pussy, penetrating through a layer of clothing... I wish my sperm was that awesome; best they've done is withstand a night in a sock.

[–]diuge 92 points93 points ago

Life finds a way.

[–]_liminal 46 points47 points ago

that sentence is missing a couple of "uhh"s

[–]flclreddit 34 points35 points ago

Uhh, life, you see.... it, uhh, finds a way, uhh... yeah.

[–]Damaband41 1 point2 points ago

Thanks for destroying the innocence of one of my favorite childhood movies.

[–]KabanaBoy 26 points27 points ago

was it Michael phelps?

[–]perkocet 13 points14 points ago

phelps Michael it was

[–]MusicNotesAndOctopie 17 points18 points ago

Thanks for clearing that up Yoda, back to you Luke!

[–]evelution 25 points26 points ago

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[–]brightbluesky55 7 points8 points ago

Well fuck! That baby deserves to be born!

[–]korbino 1 point2 points ago

I'm so cool, my sperm smoke Camel unfiltered.

[–]Jschatt 30 points31 points ago

They picked a real interesting place to cut off that html...

teen_pregnant_from_sperm_in_ho

[–]drgk 7 points8 points ago

They live by the Nile and the mom lives in denial.

[–]thisguy883 5 points6 points ago

I lol'ed at the last comment on that page. "It could happen" seriously? Some people dont deserve to think.

[–]Rather_Dashing 2 points3 points ago

There's a reason that the headline has a question mark next to it. There is no way a girl can get pregnant from a swimming pool.

[–]IDontShareMyUsername 2 points3 points ago

Haha. DAE find that was just a weird example to bring up?

[–]RB94 11 points12 points ago

[–]yuckypants 1 point2 points ago

I wish this wasn't true. Oh how I long for the legitimate retard...

[–]Tryxster 2 points3 points ago

Until you realize their vote is just as important as yours.

[–]LOTF 179 points180 points ago

Apparently men fap into their own mouth.

[–]jordanritchie 112 points113 points ago

First thing I thought of as well...

[–]NoodlesTheAlmighty 71 points72 points ago

I'm hesitant to open that link...

[–]notyourstepdad 55 points56 points ago

it's just an uncomfortable man from a movie scene, nothing weird

[–]LgnTss 30 points31 points ago

an uncomfortable Colin Farrell*

[–]Nokel 33 points34 points ago

an uncomfortable Colin Farrell in the movie In Bruges*

EDIT: Seriously, everybody watch that movie. The first time, just go along for the ride. The second time through is when you get to pay attention to the little things.

Great movie!

[–]Kiwilolo 8 points9 points ago

It really is amazing. First time I watched it, I liked it. Second time, I adored it.

[–]notyourstepdad 3 points4 points ago

now I know

[–]Day5225 2 points3 points ago

And knowing is half the battle

[–]TheNewOP 1 point2 points ago

the more you know

[–]sangriadvx 3 points4 points ago

G.I. Joe!

[–]brentonhislaptop 4 points5 points ago

Oooooooooooooooooooooooe.

[–]PoisonousGirl 22 points23 points ago

No one else thought of this? From the movie Saving Silverman...

NSFW! It's not gross but it is NSFW.

[–]hgpot 38 points39 points ago

It's not gross

Speak for yourself, buddy.

[–]PoisonousGirl 1 point2 points ago

Well, NSFW content is pretty much a big red flag on the internet. You at least had a vague idea that what you were getting into was no good. If it was bad enough to be flagged NSFW it probably has gross out capabilities on some or all levels.

Although, I think it could ACTUALLY be deemed gross if the gentleman was succeeding at his goal or if the gentleman had a nice drippy wad and a pleasant smile all over his hairy face.

Just remember, with NSFW content it could have been worse... much worse o_o.

Oh, and at least I tagged it. Redditors/Trolls often don't. You're welcome :-).

[–]thewisefoolHHH 2 points3 points ago

And I realized, fuck man, maybe that's what hell is: the entire rest of eternity spent on Yahoo fuckin' Answers.

[–]LadyGriggs 47 points48 points ago

1) That kind of flexibility would be impressive;) 2) I'm kind of wondering if she's done more than kissing since she seems to know what sperm taste like;) 3)Were we that derp as children?

[–]DerFrycook 24 points25 points ago

Creepy. And yes, almost everyone is that stupid. Except for me.

[–]LadyGriggs 9 points10 points ago

Ah, so you're some kind of rain man or something? ;)

[–]thebigdonkey 35 points36 points ago

[–]unwanted_puppy 3 points4 points ago

hahahahaha i was listening to Guitar Boogie by Tommy Emmanuel when i scrolled over this. perfect!

[–]KabanaBoy 19 points20 points ago

What I think when I read lady Griggs comments:

http://imgur.com/Nfuav

[–]LadyGriggs 2 points3 points ago

Hehe, just trying to convey that I'm in no way serious:)

[–]Freshenstein 17 points18 points ago

Uh oh! She's serious now guys. IT'S NOT WINKING!

[–]LadyGriggs 2 points3 points ago

Lol, just trying to change it up, but i can go back if you'd prefer;)

[–]Freshenstein 4 points5 points ago

phew

Crisis over, she's back to winking.

[–]KabanaBoy 2 points3 points ago

Ooohhhhh I get ya ;)

;);););););););););););)

[–]LadyGriggs 2 points3 points ago

On a serious note though, you all have made my night. Thank you:D

[–]tonight__you 6 points7 points ago

It's not that hard, but if that kind of flexibility impresses you, we should talk.

[–]holographiccocoon 1 point2 points ago

Your username is brilliant.

[–]ThatJesterJeff 11 points12 points ago

Flexibility? I'm fairly certain it's easy enough to ejaculate with such force that the sperm goes airborne and lands in your own mouth... Not that it's ever happened to me or anything.

[–]Cryptokeyblade 4 points5 points ago

Or lie on your back, tis what I do.

[–]Freshenstein 2 points3 points ago

Closest I ever got was a direct shot into my belly button.

[–]LadyGriggs 1 point2 points ago

I was gonna say, sounds like you have some experience;) (intentional winking)

[–]GavinE8 5 points6 points ago

Mouth fapping has led to more abortions than most would like to admit.

[–]Kryptotrek 21 points22 points ago

Apparently some do. Here is a comment from a post asking, "What was something you did as sexual exploration that you instantly regretted?". Look at EDIT 3.

"I'm cheating a bit on the "instant" here, but it didn't take long before shaving all of my pubic hair off revealed itself as one of my worst ideas ever.

EDIT: Right up there with, "Hmm. What if I put this rubbing alcohol on my balls? Yeah, that's... that's a good plan. I'll do tha-- OHHH GOD NO."

EDIT2: Now that I think about it, neither of those were actually sexually motivated. I shouldn't be allowed near my genitals when I'm bored.

EDIT3: Thought of a real one. One time I was trying to suck myself off and it wasn't really working. But I was all folded up so I thought "eh" and just kept masturbating with my dick hanging over my face. Came in my own mouth, and immediately thought, "Why did I do that? This tastes terrible."

EDIT7: Removed EDIT4 and EDIT5. Sorry, but I have friends who read reddit, there was some stuff in there that might ID me (or at least arouse suspicion) and this comment was starting to get just a liiiittle too much attention for my comfort."

Edit: removed the incorrectly placed "a", and fixed grammar.

[–]mmmorgan 24 points25 points ago

I can't imagine 4-6 if he felt comfortable with keeping 3 in there.

[–]dbcification 13 points14 points ago

Dammit, we need edits 4-6, now.

Someone go get it.

[–]KabanaBoy 2 points3 points ago

That thread saved my work-day

[–]wormyrocks 1 point2 points ago

Just when I thought I had managed to forget this thread.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

Apparently men's saliva tastes like sperm.

[–]Radialshifter 1 point2 points ago

Only on special occasions.

[–]GraveDigger1337 1 point2 points ago

www.extremewillpower.org for those old enough to remember, it doesn't exist anymore though

[–]gazow 1 point2 points ago

I feel compelled to use the report abuse feature

[–]spankymuffin 1 point2 points ago

Quiet! Don't tell them our secrets...

[–]TabularFantabular 1 point2 points ago

Productivity of working-age men

Able to give self-blowjob Hours worked last week (avg.)
Yes 0.051
No 42.0

[–]jokes_on_you 152 points153 points ago

Both the asker and answerer are probably from /b/. Yahoo answers is just trolls trolling trolls.

[–]MrMister007 44 points45 points ago

yodawg.jpg

[–]danxmason 3 points4 points ago

Seriously, if you're going to pretend to be 10 years old, at least mess up your spelling and punctuation.

[–]Disliked 12 points13 points ago

if(post == "yahoo answers") {
 print "trolls trolling trolls";
}

[–]katacarbix 1 point2 points ago

if($asker == $troll){ answer($troll_answer); } else { answer(); }

[–]redstonenico 4 points5 points ago

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
IS VAR TROLL? KTHX
VAR IS TROLL THEN VISIBLE "TROLOLOLOLO"
UPVAR!!1
KTHXBYE

Yup I speak LOLCODE

[–]lcorinth 64 points65 points ago

I'm a 38-year-old man, and I've never had my period. I've kissed lots of girls. Could I be pregnant? How long is this damned pregnancy going to last, anyway??

[–]Gh0sts44 45 points46 points ago

5-10 more days. When they're born you will need to lick the area around their neckbeards, around a hour after birth the neckbeards should start to bloom. Remember to nurse them from your man nips.

[–]lcorinth 1 point2 points ago

I don't have nipples. But this milk has been oozing form the sweat glands on my chest. I think it's almost time. Fingers crossed!!!

[–]Redhawk1000 18 points19 points ago

Yes.

[–]lcorinth 1 point2 points ago

Dammit. Thought so. I guess I'll have to have an abortion now.

[–]wafflezkill 16 points17 points ago

Oh I'll just have an abortion, it's whatevs.

[–]revile221 83 points84 points ago

how is babby formed

how girl get pragnent

[–]vlddaimplr 90 points91 points ago

[–]airshipget 23 points24 points ago

I've never seen that.. it's funny.

[–]YouListening 1 point2 points ago

It's the start of the 'babby' thing.

[–]boossaa 4 points5 points ago

In my short time on reddit, this is the best link I've seen. My upvote to you for opening my eyes to this.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points ago

my gf stopped having period after pregnent is the baby drinking da blood?

[–]Jjunior130 6 points7 points ago

the baby is the true "I_DRINK_PERIOD_BLOOD"

[–]muzzman32 12 points13 points ago

CTRL+F "babby"

was not dissapoint.

[–]ericphelan 22 points23 points ago

So much for sex ed.

[–]ZeroTheSavior 14 points15 points ago

That's 7th grade. I can't imagine the look on her face when she learns...

[–]spankymuffin 8 points9 points ago

Really? We had ours as early as 5th grade, and then one class in middle school and another in high school.

In 5th grade, I remember they never taught us about the whole "penis in vagina thing," so a friend of mine and I pretty much taught the rest of our grade about it. It was pretty much a week of minds constantly getting blown.

[–]ZeroTheSavior 2 points3 points ago

Funny. By 5th grade everybody knew what sex was, 'cept the kids with overprotective parents.

[–]spankymuffin 11 points12 points ago

Not in the suburbs where I was from I guess! Well, some of us obviously knew. My sis heard about it on the bus one day and then went to our Mom and asked, "is it true that Daddy put his thingy in yours to make us?" to which she responded with an awkward, "uhh... yes?"

And then my sis replied, "Eewwww! And you had to do it twice?!"

Good times.

[–]ExK4 5 points6 points ago

5th grade where I live. Yes seriously. It had something to do with the 6th grade ski trip.

[–]Battletooth 31 points32 points ago

Well she said its okay in her response, so nothing to worry about.

[–]sws12123 7 points8 points ago

I wonder if she got off the computer after that and told her parents she was pregnant

[–]moogoesthecat 26 points27 points ago

How does she know what sperm tastes like?

[–]AdonisChrist 68 points69 points ago

this is going to shock you: she probably doesn't.

[–]SirDigbyChicknCeasar 41 points42 points ago

This is going to shock both of you: she probably isn't real.

[–]Chakki 70 points71 points ago

This is going to shock all of you: The state of Maine has 62 lighthouses.

[–]isothien 29 points30 points ago

Wait, seriously?

[–]AbsolutTBomb 1 point2 points ago

65*

[–]IByrdl 5 points6 points ago

Prove it.

[–]Chakki 4 points5 points ago

Read it on a snapple.

[–]dracwolley 3 points4 points ago

[PROOF]

[–]foregoneconclusion 11 points12 points ago

This is going to shock the three of you: buzzzz

[–]garythecoconut 14 points15 points ago

It's a good thing that yahoo answers cannot be faked and there are no trolls there. or posts like these would not be as interesting...

[–]krystalklear818 1 point2 points ago

We have the technology! Parents vaccinate your children at a young age. The cootie shot is proven to prevent 98.7% of non-sex related pregnancy.

[–]prattle 8 points9 points ago

so fake and so dumb. Why is it upvoted? A fake answer to a fake post

[–]tyfa3 11 points12 points ago

TIL we come from our mouths

[–]ScanExam 2 points3 points ago

Trolls trolling trolls

[–]ZapActions-dower 2 points3 points ago

Stop posting the punchline as the title.

[–]dogsarentedible 15 points16 points ago

Wait, so she doesn't know how women get pregnant, but is fully comfortable with getting an abortion?

10 year olds are fucked up.

[–]ForzaOne 36 points37 points ago

IT'S A TROLL

[–]boossaa 1 point2 points ago

IT'S A TRAP

[–]Sharkbate12 5 points6 points ago

Because someone has to do it, this indeed is a repost.

[–]Goldcut 2 points3 points ago

Nobody really needed to do it.

[–]s0merand0mchick 4 points5 points ago

Ah perhaps I have just been on reddit too long, but this is a repost.

[–]MrScribbles 1 point2 points ago

"You'll do."

[–]9Oh4 1 point2 points ago

No.

[–]socksfox68 1 point2 points ago

Daddy said I'm a pretty little princess, so I put all his power tools into his BMW and pushed it into a river.

[–]oxygenvictim 1 point2 points ago

"Punchline in title."

[–]Evesore 1 point2 points ago

This is exactly like another post where a wife asks if a virus can cause your browsing history to be filled with porn links - like 600+ people vote yes (99%+).

[–]MrPeel11 1 point2 points ago

Repost.. but it's a funny repost

[–]wdr1 1 point2 points ago

Sometimes I think Y! Answers exists only to troll Reddit.

[–]realmodzzzz 1 point2 points ago

"I think im going to have an abortion so its ok." wow just wow

[–]3meterspread 1 point2 points ago

Has one of these questions/answers ever been serious? Even once?

[–]Pokemanly 1 point2 points ago

You can get pregnant from kissing? Man, Krispy Kreme is going to be pissed, he must have gotten every girl in the world pregnant!

[–]Borlos 1 point2 points ago

My girlfriend tasted my sperm once just by kissing me. She had an abortion though so its ok.

[–]guy_who_ruins_jokes 1 point2 points ago

Too many capitals, periods, punctuation and proper spelling to be real.

[–]i_had_fun 1 point2 points ago

I'm all for the legalization of abortion, but this kind of attitude scares the shit out of me. Kids nowadays will start abusing abortion as a form of birth control.

Girl: "Should we use a condom?"

Guy: "It's okay baby, I have a buy one get one free coupon for the local abortion clinic".

[–]YeastyC 1 point2 points ago

Where did she kiss him?

[–]iEatPie 1 point2 points ago

I watched House quite a bit. It is Lupus.

[–]none4gretchenweiners 2 points3 points ago

If this is real: how sad that her mother or someone close to her hasn't explained the birds and the bees.

[–]AntiTheory 6 points7 points ago

This is one of the many problems of the 21st century: we live in a hypersexualized society that believes that sex is something to be feared or discouraged. Young kids are experiencing sexuality much earlier in life, but they're too afraid to ask questions about it because the topic of sex is considered taboo - even though it bombards us daily.

If I had things my way, the norm would be for parents to teach their kids about sex at a very early age, encourage using protection and practicing safe sex as opposed to abstinence (even if they are forbidden from engaging in sex).

If this question really is real (and I'm thinking it's actually just a troll), it makes me wonder if my radical liberal left wing communist neo nazi anarchist opinions wouldn't have saved a huge deal of confusion and awkwardness for all parties involved...

[–]Dumpster_Baby 4 points5 points ago

Oh hey, another Yahoo Answers post. These are so funny...

[–]penisinthepeanutbttr 1 point2 points ago

Guys its just 10-guy on yahoo answers

[–]1234ape 0 points1 point ago

Kids these days.

[–]ScaVa 0 points1 point ago

run from the world, RUN

[–]callmegibbs 0 points1 point ago

[–]jamesbarbour 0 points1 point ago

Yay society!

[–]bigdukesix 0 points1 point ago

Also, it's twins

[–]NecronLordship 0 points1 point ago

The first thing I have found funny here after reading over 1000 posts and my first upvote.

[–]Isat32196 0 points1 point ago

This is old, saw this a couple of months ago.

[–]chrismetalrock 0 points1 point ago

21 douche bags in a row, the odds! oh wait, it was yahoo..

[–]Shoeboxes0 0 points1 point ago

Obvious troll is obvious.

[–]isaac9092 0 points1 point ago

Facepalm........inhale and sigh , white people smh

[–]ElBenito 0 points1 point ago

Repost

[–]mr_cybz 0 points1 point ago

[–]kampfy3 0 points1 point ago

It took me awhile to remember, but the number of upvotes on this post is what made me realize that /r/funny is a bunch of fucking retarded pictures that were re-saved as low quality jpgs from 4chan 5 years ago and that I should unsubscribe from it. Thanks!

[–]Ninjasantaclause 0 points1 point ago

This is one bad troll who in their right mind would fall for this

[–]t24menon4u 0 points1 point ago

Being tricked by trolls on yahoo answers is bad so you should feel bad

[–]Derpeh 0 points1 point ago

Kill it before it breeds!

[–]unwanted_puppy 0 points1 point ago

Prospective teacher here: does anyone else think that sex education should be offered earlier... not 4 to 5 years post-puberty? ...Is anyone from a country where this is implemented?

[–]firepandas 0 points1 point ago

I just want to point out that I pissed myself laughing, that's all.

[–]Hearken 0 points1 point ago

WTF

[–]FoundPie 0 points1 point ago

Doesn't the Asker's Rating comment just sum up everything that is wrong with the world?

[–]sweetpineapple 0 points1 point ago

[–]Satheddal 0 points1 point ago

If this is the case I just might have a few children that I don't know about.

[–]RnRaintnoisepolution 0 points1 point ago

Why must everyone 13 and younger have to be So fucking retarded

[–]queerdeviant 0 points1 point ago

At first I giggled, but then I realized how important sex education for our youth is (regardless of being Yahoo! Answers or not)

[–]brainsward 0 points1 point ago

Chuckled for a minute, then remembered my daughter is ten.

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

[–]amolad 0 points1 point ago

Seven months? She's probably showing.

[–]nameless912 0 points1 point ago

Repost. haha

[–]ab103630 0 points1 point ago

What's scarier is that she's having an abortion based off of their answer.

[–]dayada 0 points1 point ago

top seems like troll.

[–]Flurryyea 0 points1 point ago

How does the boyfriend have his own sperm in his mouth? Unless.. it's not his. She's dating a swallower!

[–]Aznb01p 0 points1 point ago

I'm imagining the stoned guy meme responding this.

[–]Androoh 0 points1 point ago

Are people actually this stupid?

[–]IAMRayWilliamJohnson 0 points1 point ago

Fake and gay.

[–]erinrathbun 0 points1 point ago

my grandma used to think this was how you got pregnant. . . in the 1940's.

[–]Taffy16 0 points1 point ago

This is hilarious...

[–]aidanf123 0 points1 point ago

She said she was going to get an abortion..... what an idiot

[–]dizzy-vision 0 points1 point ago

I'm so sad I got banned from yahoo answers.

[–]DMercenary 0 points1 point ago

Oh god why.

[–]tonycomputerguy 0 points1 point ago

My buddy was getting a handjob from this girl at his work, she was pretty inexperienced, maybe a virgin, I forget... but anyway, when he started to cum she pointed his dick at his face and he gave himself a facial. He wasn't expecting it (duh) and it got in his mouth AND his eyes and started "screaming"... The poor girl thought she had hurt his junk or something, had no clue what had happened and was like "What happened, did I hurt you? What did I do wrong? I'm so sorry..." "God dammit just get me a towel would you?" For him, after that experience, he understood why some women don't care for facials... But being a man, and/or asshole, he didn't give a shit, and gave them facials anyway. And no, it wasn't me, I wish it had been, that guy got more ass than a toilet seat and that "sticky situation" would be well worth the tail he got. The best part of that story was when he told it to a very prude friend of ours... The look on this prudes face when he described cumming in his own mouth was fucking priceless, like he had just watched someones head explode... Pun intended.

[–]likeapanda 0 points1 point ago

I'm going to show my ten-year-old brothers this link... with a serious face and nodd, "See the devastating consequences of your inconsiderate actions? Now don't you kiss any girls until you're ready to marry her."

[–]nabraxis 0 points1 point ago

thats not funny, its sad.

[–]AwesomOpossum 0 points1 point ago

Bahahaha. I love the unspoken cooperation here: 21 other people agreed that deceiving a child was the most hilarious course of action.

[–]k_nicole997 0 points1 point ago

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

[–]jojomeyer 0 points1 point ago

You can also get pregnant through your belly button

[–]HorriblePerson911 0 points1 point ago

Where does this girl live? Montana?

[–]Oscar0717 0 points1 point ago

Love the "yes" While the young girl is freaking out

[–]Brownmagic012 0 points1 point ago

It's questions like this that after reading them, I take a long hard stare into the mirror above my desk, while contemplating, but more so worrying about the future of our species.

[–]fechera 0 points1 point ago

So that kid sucks his own dick???

[–]MrSeastar 0 points1 point ago

Imagine the generation of this girl as grown people god be on our side

[–]Quackalicious 0 points1 point ago

I remember worrying that I might be pregnant when I was about 9 because my tummy was not pure flat.. I hadn't so much as held hands with a boy. Man, was I innocent! That said, that's such a troll right there!

[–]gronoth 0 points1 point ago

you can tell she is black cuz of her name. typical blacks.

[–]Oirek 0 points1 point ago

Well she has very good grammar for being 10. I've seen a lot worse from people that's 18... I declare shennanigans!

[–]Uitklapstoel 0 points1 point ago

Obvious troll..

[–]amgov 0 points1 point ago

And this is why we need sex ed...

[–]DontDriveAngry7 0 points1 point ago

Too bad she couldn't go back in time and abort herself

[–]Lefty07 0 points1 point ago

troll

[–]Chug_bleach 0 points1 point ago

oh that mouth sperm...

[–]MaddieK09 0 points1 point ago

This wasn't funny when I saw it 2 years ago. It still isn't funny.

[–]Gengar1221 0 points1 point ago

tasted his sperm

huehuehuehue