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1057
1058

How me and my gf feel attempting sexytime after Chipotle (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by itsalwayslulzy

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[–]Memb_Insane_rane 25 points26 points ago

Well, only one thing to do now

[–]GeorgeTaylorG 18 points19 points ago

FUCK. I seriously freak out at any eye-related stuff, and I failed that scene like 5 times I was cringing so hard.

[–]Breakerx73 7 points8 points ago

I got that shit down the first try. It's the hunter that freaks me out.

[–]GrumpyBumface 0 points1 point ago

Dead Space 2

[–]Macrona 0 points1 point ago

I remember a scene just like this in Quake 4, was there really one in DS2? Effective. cringe

[–]Day5225 0 points1 point ago

Yeah it's a button mashing scene where you can imagine what happens if you fail

[–]Macrona 0 points1 point ago

Exact same thing in Quake 4. Years before... Hmmm. EA...

[–]Day5225 0 points1 point ago

I don't think EA has much control over that

[–]Xemeriba 0 points1 point ago

I was totally hoping expecting this would be a rule 34 moment. I was disappointed relieved.

[–]sirfudg 36 points37 points ago

Was it like this before the Chipotle? http://i.imgur.com/LiuyH.gif

[–]Beastface86 1 point2 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/aF8pk.jpg

[–]lcuz 8 points9 points ago

So would fat flash be like Kenyan fast?

[–]kenyanmedley 2 points3 points ago

I'm okay with this comment.

[–]lcuz 1 point2 points ago

I'm glad I have your approval. lol

[–]Ikinari 10 points11 points ago

Why would you mix DC and Marvel? Disgusting.

[–]Please_Pass_The_Milk 8 points9 points ago

It gets worse. DC, Marvel, and newspaper strips.

[–]bursho 2 points3 points ago

I am appalled.

[–]Penleg 7 points8 points ago

I am ajeffed

[–]tickman808 4 points5 points ago

You feel like superheroes?

[–]samurailawngnome 6 points7 points ago

If you actually have the costumes, I want pictures.

[–]snake117 3 points4 points ago

I watched this for like, ten minutes

[–]yellowstone10 24 points25 points ago

A word of advice: get the burrito bowl instead of the burrito itself. It's basically just the contents of the burrito in a cardboard bowl rather than the tortilla. It's still plenty of food, but you won't feel like shit after you've eaten the whole thing. And by removing the tortilla, you save about 400 calories.

[–]Fagel88 46 points47 points ago

What a great way to completely ruin your burrito.

[–]FuckYouImFunny 1 point2 points ago

I get a tortilla on the side and make my own burrito after I mix up the bol. Tastes better, and I get the best worlds of a burrito (not AS big since I don't dump all the bol into it).

[–]Fagel88 1 point2 points ago

I don't care.

[–]UpTheIron 0 points1 point ago

Yeah man, Fuck you. He's Funny.

[–]FuckYouImFunny -2 points-1 points ago

Obviously you do dumbfuck, enough to post. Retard.

[–]Fagel88 -1 points0 points ago

The word retard isn't a sentence.

[–]FuckYouImFunny -2 points-1 points ago

Please tell me more. Retard.

[–]danbot 4 points5 points ago

This kills the burrito.

[–]czr 4 points5 points ago

+chips=Ultimate Nachos

[–]SucculentSoap 2 points3 points ago

290

[–]miniskirtninja 4 points5 points ago

Yessss this is good

[–]g992 0 points1 point ago

And if you want you can still ask for a side tortilla for free with your burrito bowl...just sayin

[–]dclowd9901 2 points3 points ago

One way I've learned to control my portions is by acting as though I'm going to be having sex immediately after I eat. This post is only too appropriate.

[–]JabbaWebb 7 points8 points ago

Sorry, what's Chipotle?

[–]mainsworth 13 points14 points ago

Burrito fastfoodish resturant. Think Subway but with burritos.

It's pretty easy to get a very healthy meal there.

[–]dickobags 10 points11 points ago

It's like the Subway of burritos, with quality.

[–]skipdog172 2 points3 points ago

You are joking right?

(the people below you thought you said HEALTHY but what you really meant was a very GINORMOUS meal)

[–]mainsworth 12 points13 points ago

Nah dude. Chicken, black beans, brown rice, veggies, salsa, corn and lettuce in a bowl. Extra black beans if you like pintos. About as healthy and delicious combo as you can get on the go.

[–]imasunbear 3 points4 points ago

Burrito, Steak, pinto beans, cheese, sour cream, hot sauce, gauc.

Sounds delicious.

[–]pepg 10 points11 points ago

People call it healthy because its farm raised meat and is on the whole environmentally conscious. Yes, its fattening when eaten to excess.... But its one of the few chains in this country that feature unprocessed food products.

[–]kart64 0 points1 point ago

Well, shit. Whenever I eat Chipotle or even Subway I don't finish the full meal. I always save half of whatever it is for later on in the day when I'll inevitably be hungry again. No one said you have to finish food immediately.

[–]tweezyb 3 points4 points ago

I don't know why people have the impression that Chipotle is healthy. Their burritos are like 1300 calories each.

[–]Doilyn 6 points7 points ago

Healthy has nothing to do with portion size, but rather the ingredients themselves. Unprocessed meat, rice, beans, veggies...sounds healthy to me. I usually get a nice, filled burrito and eat it over two meals, such as for lunch and dinner, or dinner and the next morning's breakfast. Or I just skip a meal when I eat chipoltle, like I do often when I eat at huge-portion restaurants.

[–]ReneMathis 2 points3 points ago

This. Eat half and save the other half for later. It'll still be delicious.

[–]neyneyjung 3 points4 points ago

You can make Chipotle healthy. Cut out the wrap, sour cream, and cheese and you get a pretty nice healthy meal right there.

Protip (even better for keto) - ask for just meat and salsa. They will charge you for the price of extra meat and salsa - not the whole bowl (around $3 and 210 calories).

[–]willymo 5 points6 points ago

That's only because some people put a gallon of sour cream and 5 lbs of cheese on their burritos. All the other ingredients aren't that fattening.

[–]victoriarosehh 0 points1 point ago

Nope, a normal burrito with normal amounts of cheese and sour cream are in the 1k calorie range. You take away the cheese and sour cream its in the 900s. The bowls are good for you because it takes away the tortilla, which alone is 300 calories.

[–]Skizorbit 1 point2 points ago

It can be very healthy as long as you only eat it in moderation and choose the right ingredients. I know I can get 3 dinners out of 1 burrito.

[–]ZsaFreigh 1 point2 points ago

Vitamins and Protein!

[–]LogicalAce 0 points1 point ago

...now about Chipotle!

[–]JabbaWebb 0 points1 point ago

Ah, sounds pretty nice. I want one now :P

[–]yamato57 1 point2 points ago

absolutely awesome for $7.50. Its massive too!

[–]JabbaWebb 0 points1 point ago

So a massive burrito for £4.82 ?? Sounds great :)

[–]yamato57 0 points1 point ago

its a huge burrito

[–]JabbaWebb 0 points1 point ago

:O I. Want. One. Now. For god sake why are they just in London :/

[–]pacofvf 0 points1 point ago

healthy tacos/burritos ? They are going to be a hit in Mexico. Trust me i'm fat and mexican.

[–]HamboneShambone -5 points-4 points ago

[Was] owned by McDonald's, until 2006. TIL. Their Wikipedia article is very informative and interesting.

Thanks to Hank_Moody and VinTheRighteous for pointing out my misstatement. Incidentally, they also got out of Donatos and Boston Market that year (McDonald's that is, not Hank and Vin).

[–]VinTheRighteous 4 points5 points ago

False. McDonald's was formerly a majority shareholder, but as of 2006 that is no longer the case.

And regardless, McDonald's being the majority shareholder in Chipotle says nothing about the quality of the food.

[–]Hank_Moody 1 point2 points ago

McDonalds Corporation was an investor that helped Chipotle grow, but hasn't been involved in quite some time.

[–]JabbaWebb 0 points1 point ago

Apparently there's one in London :) Hmmm that's a 4 hour drive but I might be up for it. Right, again what's Donatos (is it a doughnut shop?) and Is the Boston Market just a market?

[–]Seligas 3 points4 points ago

Why does such a thing even exist! D:

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

Somethingawful.com forums. Pretty sure Everdread made these.

[–]Please_Pass_The_Milk 1 point2 points ago

Yes, this. They were made for the Comic Strip Megathread over in Batman's Shameful Secret.

More: http://i.imgur.com/ZdKDS.gif

[–]KindergartenerOnLSD 1 point2 points ago

So THAT'S why Spider-Man wasn't in the Avengers!

[–]illannoyin 0 points1 point ago

When I saw the Avengers, I made comments about how Spiderman could easily do everything depicted near the end on his own. My friend and I got strange looks from the people in front of us.

[–]stalkinyushi 1 point2 points ago

For the love of god why is flash with spider man

[–]BridgetteBane 1 point2 points ago

Well, yea. But it's worth it.

[–]toastyseeds 1 point2 points ago

where the fuck do people find gifs like this?

[–]98dottie 1 point2 points ago

What has been seen cannot be unseen.

[–]jbird18005 1 point2 points ago

I just laughed until I cried

[–]krondorz 1 point2 points ago

My gf and I***

[–]AcousticWalrus 1 point2 points ago

Excuse me? My girlfriend and I is the correct way to say it

[–]dpthree 1 point2 points ago

eating a burrito before sex is a guaranteed disaster

[–]mwire45 1 point2 points ago

why does this exist?

[–]SimilarImage 1 point2 points ago

Age User Title Reddit Cmnt Points
1 month Mlarcin What the hell....I can't even think of the words to make a reaction. /r/WTF 16 39
3 months trippingouttostuff Super /r/WTF 22 234
4 months gordonz88 Don't Know Why I Searched "Fat Superheroes" here 78 705

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

It's... hypnotic...

[–]harm0nic 0 points1 point ago

God, I laughed so hard at this.

[–]hemingwayszombycorps 0 points1 point ago

That, but add firey all consuming ass lava from the 7th circle of hell...

[–]Brahndun 0 points1 point ago

Is that Fat Albert in a flash costume?

[–]carnieyb 0 points1 point ago

All I want to know is who made that gif and why.

[–]JonTheHobo 0 points1 point ago

The song "Push It" just started as soon as I clicked on this…

[–]Waerjak 0 points1 point ago

This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "Bumping uglies".

[–]illannoyin 0 points1 point ago

This is the most relevant thing to my life ever. I did my girl in the ass (once and only once) and we got burritos afterward. Her butt was feeling bad already, so the Chipotle certainly did not help her cause. We made love later that night... BIG MISTAKE

[–]Midas510 0 points1 point ago

....Only after Chipotle?

[–]Kaddus 0 points1 point ago

Its like going to the club except the girls wore costumes instead of slurry clothes

[–]blacktoise 0 points1 point ago

I was completely fine with this and understood it completely. But then I began to wonder, how fifths meme come into existence?

[–]Saenii 0 points1 point ago

My gf and I*

[–]civilian11214 0 points1 point ago

*My gf and I.

[–]zuluthrone 0 points1 point ago

Never eat a burrito before sex.

[–]d0n0v4n98 0 points1 point ago

No! It's not okay! Flash is a DC superhero and Spiderman is a Marvel superhero, so they can't coexist!

[–]jakemaniang 0 points1 point ago

What is this

I don't even

[–]WyndMetal 0 points1 point ago

How on the planet would this existence. For what.

[–]jonnichols 0 points1 point ago

Did you know this gif pretty much goes with any music you play with it.

[–]Swww -1 points0 points ago

Fucking LOL

[–]aisner190 -1 points0 points ago

MY EYES!

[–]elikdawson -1 points0 points ago

Dude! NSFW tag!

[–]zpenguin65 2 points3 points ago

do they not allow fat people where you work?

[–]Lots42 1 point2 points ago

I think it was more of the attempted anal sex part being NSFQ

[–]geeksource -1 points0 points ago

A THOUSAND times YES!

[–]strobexp -2 points-1 points ago

Well, I laughed.

[–]OmgLolKitty -2 points-1 points ago

Smush Smush

[–]Motley_Sheep -2 points-1 points ago

...shawntoodle?

[–]iwannaelroyyou -2 points-1 points ago

I thought only I referred to it as sexy time with my wife.

[–]djzenmastak -2 points-1 points ago

ugh, chipotle is just plain disappointing once you've had freebird's.

[–]louisclub -3 points-2 points ago

fatty

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