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all 134 comments

[–]JTGtoniteonly 44 points45 points ago

I moved to FL 3 years ago and since then I've come to the conclusion that this state is the craziest state in the U.S.

[–]Vortilex 5 points6 points ago

I feel that we simply have more crazy people that make the news, because seriously, what's newsworthy in Florida?

[–]redoswald 1 point2 points ago

Education spending cuts. Blatant government corruption. Pedophile Baptist preachers. Destroyed housing market. Environmental destruction. Swarms of bugs and man-killing algae. Hurricanes in non-hurricane season hitting Jacksonville (when the fuck do hurricanes ever hit Jacksonville? answer: never).

[–]scotchburg 0 points1 point ago

man killing algae? Do you have any info to share on that?

[–]redoswald 0 points1 point ago

>In the lawsuit, the environmentalists charged that the EPA under President Bush had allowed the state of Florida to ignore the Clean Water Act and simply set no nutrient standards. Nitrogen and phosphorus runoff from golf course, lawns, leaky septic tanks, failed sewage treatment plants and other industrial sources overload waterways and cause sickly phenomena such as the St. Johns River’s deadly blue-green algae blooms.

The story goes, if I remember it, that a woman was boating on the St. Johns river during one of these algae blooms. She wasn't very healthy to begin with, so she was more susceptible, but I think got in the water, got infected, and this eventually led to her death....

Even if I'm not remember this story though, the St. John's river is still a slowly, moving pile of festering shit.

[–]swiftpaw12 0 points1 point ago

I was born, and still live, in Florida. Other than Disney and Universal... We're all a bunch of freaks.

[–]d_r0ck -1 points0 points ago

you have obviously never lived in or around Wyoming...

[–]ravikus 89 points90 points ago

Who has?

[–]JTGtoniteonly 2 points3 points ago

I've lived in Michigan

[–]jkahrs595 5 points6 points ago

At least Michigan is reasonably crazy (aka, religious/redneck crazy) as opposed to zombie apocalypse crazy.

[–]JTGtoniteonly 2 points3 points ago

If you're talking about Florida being zombie apocalypse-like then I was unaware of this before I moved here.

[–]The_Determinator 2 points3 points ago

Michigan is religious crazy? Oh yeah, the hundreds of Churches I don't attend down the street from me.

Redneck crazy? Oh, right, I've been up North enough times to know this.

I guess the real question is, how do people outside of Michigan know this? Assuming you're not.

[–]jkahrs595 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, I'm from GR. Immersed right in the crazy.

[–]The_Determinator 0 points1 point ago

Ahaha, Garden City represent!

[–]Wilhelm_Stark 0 points1 point ago

This. Seriously. It's awful down here. Save us.

[–]JTGtoniteonly 0 points1 point ago

It'll take more than me to save this state.

[–]alejo06 20 points21 points ago

But, but I live in Florida...

[–]Fatalcrest 10 points11 points ago

Join the party.

[–]alejo06 6 points7 points ago

Well, I just want to see them get a saw big enough.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Tree_Phiddy 9 points10 points ago

[–]Vortilex 1 point2 points ago

wat.

[–]TheMightyToast43 1 point2 points ago

What did he say?

[–]Vortilex 0 points1 point ago

It was a pic of the guy whose face got eaten. At least, what's left of his face...

[–]kendrahwithanh 18 points19 points ago

Seriously, why do people ever think doing PCP is a good idea. All you end up doing is eating people.

[–]BemshaSwing 1 point2 points ago

Have you done it? If you do it right it fucking rules.

[–]bigfkncee 5 points6 points ago

I've done it before. Not sure about the "do it right" part, but I can assure you it did not rule. Once was enough.

[–]Vortilex 11 points12 points ago

Who'd you eat?

[–]bigfkncee 5 points6 points ago

Don't remember. But what(who)ever it was, it wasn't in my stomach for very long. I got incredibly sick that night and only remember greyed out portions of what happened. Went to a kickass rave tho. I must've looked like a mess.......

[–]Articuno 0 points1 point ago

What's it like?

[–]Frequentabuserofganj 0 points1 point ago

It was mephedrone, not pcp.

[–]eddy159357 0 points1 point ago

There are reports that it wasn't PCP but some kind of bath salts. Yeah some people decide to smoke it and then hallucinate. Would not recommend.

[–]kendrahwithanh 2 points3 points ago

the things people do to avoid reality... good lord.

[–]Vortilex 6 points7 points ago

...oh shit. I'm grabbing my shotgun now.

[–]BrutalJones 4 points5 points ago

Hey, me too.

[–]Magnon 27 points28 points ago

Sir we have confirmation that the public bought the pcp story, all is going well, they do not suspect it was the chemical necro agent.

[–]rijnzael 13 points14 points ago

/r/conspiracy is that way -->

[–]jmc_automatic 8 points9 points ago

Looks over right shoulder WHERE!? I knew they were after me...

[–]secret_gov_agent 8 points9 points ago

I believe that's my line.

[–]KillFist29 5 points6 points ago

I'm from Florida, born and raised, and I take no offense to this whatsoever. Please get rid of us. We are the worst state in the union and deserve to be completely wiped off the map. If it means the complete and utter annihilation of all that is Florida, I will take one for the team and go down with the ship.

...Unless someone out there would be willing to house me for a while. I promise I don't do PCP and even if I did, I wouldn't eat your face.

[–]JarlaxleForPresident 3 points4 points ago

Don't listen to KillFist!! He may not eat faces whilst on PCP, but he does terrible things with his hands....

[–]Vortilex 5 points6 points ago

He masturbates...to Sarah Jessica Parker!

[–]Hesho95 4 points5 points ago

Bestiality?!

[–]MrWinks 4 points5 points ago

I'm from Florida as well. I know this guy. he was preaching on how he'd trick you all. Don't listen to him! I surely tell the truth.

[–]RepRap3d 1 point2 points ago

We can replace you with Puerto Rico.

[–]Britches_and_Hose 5 points6 points ago

Why don't you do us a favor and just get rid of the crazy people and leave us normal people alone. You can kill off the horrible drivers too, then I wouldn't have to worry about dying in a car accident every time I'm on the road.

[–]ShadowZant 18 points19 points ago

Naw man, just Miami. People in north Florida are alright.

[–]Seref15 9 points10 points ago

Of course the advantage of Miami is that its so far south that its no longer bible belt territory.

It's always amusing traveling north through Florida and seeing in which city the southern accent starts.

[–]DeepFriedPanda 10 points11 points ago

Right around Gainesville I think.

Everything from Gainesville and north to the Georgia border is "The South".

[–]illstealurcandy 9 points10 points ago

Florida resident here, this is what we call a "true fact".

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

I'd say everything north of Orlando.

[–]DeepFriedPanda 2 points3 points ago

I'll meet you in the middle, and say Ocala.

[–]Keenalie 3 points4 points ago

I wouldn't call Gainesville "Southern" in any way. It's more like a pocket of sensibility surrounded by rednecks. I mean, it holds one of the largest annual punk festivals in the world. It's like the Austin, Texas of Florida.

[–]Le_RushEnt 1 point2 points ago

Fuck yeah, the fest!!

[–]BigRedRobotNinja 1 point2 points ago

You have obviously never been to Imperial Polk County.

[–]irish56_ak -1 points0 points ago

Gainesville and north, east of Tallahassee = S. GA.

Gainesville and north, west of Tallahassee = S. AL.

S. of Gainesville to Kissimmee = Disney

S. of Kissimmee= Cuba

[–]pseudo721 3 points4 points ago

Yeah, but I'd be more worried about living further south, as these stories seem to hit below the belt.

[–]Phantom_Absolute -1 points0 points ago

Bible-thumpers or face-eaters.

I know which one I'd choose as my neighbors

[–]Airwarf 2 points3 points ago

i see what chew did there

[–]revenantae 1 point2 points ago

Dude, that bites.

[–]knowledgehungry 0 points1 point ago

Palm Beach County and down is full of crazy. It's a diverse mix of poverty and the rich. Always leads to something interesting.

[–]SPAZZEH 4 points5 points ago

Man, that feeling when you live in Florida and nothing but negative attention surrounds your state. Anyone who is on PCP will do shit like this.

[–]NightSlatcher 0 points1 point ago

No, they'll stereotypically do shit like punch through fences or get naked. Not eat faces. That's new to the game. Not saying it is Florida's fault, but face eating is pretty out there.

[–]bluereverend 4 points5 points ago

I apologize for taking away so much Karma from your post. I did not see this previous to posting nearly the identical post. I have removed it so as not to confuse the masses of Reddit and to allow you to have the glory. Sorry about that.

[–]impatiswim 1 point2 points ago

I'd like to just say that not all Floridians are crazy. Most, but not all.

[–]miami_highlife 1 point2 points ago

YES WE ARE! BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

BOCA BOCA BOCA

[–]noam_thwompsky 2 points3 points ago

Grandpa! Grandma! NOOOOOOO!

[–]monkeh24 2 points3 points ago

Hip hop weekend in a nutshell.

[–]JarlaxleForPresident 2 points3 points ago

then i would have beach front property! (NW FL)

[–]Borg184 2 points3 points ago

Well fine. We'll keep our Orange juice too and start our own island.

[–]AnnaBortion 2 points3 points ago

For those of you who don't know what Bugs Bunny has to do with naked face eating, it all makes sense after the face eating video: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2150585/Naked-man-shot-dead-police-chewed-mans-face-leaving-victim-fighting-life.html

[–]unluckyBastard69 10 points11 points ago

This was one of the comments.... Edit: Proof

[–]FEAR-N-LOATHING[S] 0 points1 point ago

dammit i searched around to make sure it wasn't a re-post, was it a comment on one of the story posts?

[–]unluckyBastard69 6 points7 points ago

yeah sorry. still upvoted though pretty funny imo

[–]noam_thwompsky 2 points3 points ago

This is no time for opinions SOLDIER

[–]ifragginlovetoast 1 point2 points ago

Wait, first grab all of the old people!

[–]nolwat22 1 point2 points ago

I just realized I'm going there in 3 days

[–]TemptationsPage 1 point2 points ago

But, it's America's wang.

[–]MrCaffeine 4 points5 points ago

I'm thinking the same thing, except Texas instead.

Fuck Texas.

[–]tcrouch 2 points3 points ago

Texas is feeling the love <3

[–]bmk2k 0 points1 point ago

What do you have against Texas? Like most people on Reddit, you seem very uninformed about it and generalize the 2nd largest state including the millions of people in it

[–]MrCaffeine 0 points1 point ago

I'm aware that it is a very diverse state with most climates (including Tundra or so I've heard), and the north is mostly redneck white while the south has a diverse population but is mostly white/Latino. There is also a large atheist following in Austin, and Huston is home to NASA.

While that's all fine and good, the state of Texas as a whole is generally racist, and has a culture that promotes substance abuse (namely marijuana and alcohol, along with occasionally cocaine), ignorance, bigotry, inefficiency especially when it comes to land, over the top and obnoxious national and state pride (in schools, the state pledge must be said after the national pledge), and self-righteousness. There are several crazy laws that are still widely enforced, including: you can shoot anyone who is on your property without permission (good luck proving you had permission), it is illegal to be homosexual, and you must acknowledge a supreme being before holding public office. They've also affected text books in a severely ignorance-promoting fashion, and regularly threaten to succeed from the union if national laws do not go their way, or a person in the nation government (such as the president) holds a view that conservatives do not like.

I understand that a lot of people hate Texas for no good reason, but I believe that I am perfectly justified in finding that state abhorrent and idiotic. Also, Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi. For the same reasons.

[–]bmk2k 0 points1 point ago

Yup, very uninformed. When I get off my tablet and use a keyboard, I'll debate each of your asinine generalizations

[–]MrCaffeine -1 points0 points ago

Just, fuck Texas. And the south.

[–]bmk2k 1 point2 points ago

What ever it takes for you to feel superior on the internet

[–]MrCaffeine -1 points0 points ago

This isn't about me at all, it's about Texas and why it's one of the worst states in the US and why it should secede to make the rest of us look better. Texas has one of the lowest average IQs of the states, one of the highest religiosity, the highest rate of obesity (and 5/10 fattest cities are in Texas), the highest teen pregnancy rate, it's in the 10 least literate, it has the highest rate of capital punishment, and it has one of the worst education systems in the country.

This isn't about my pride. I'm trying to tell you why Texas is a piece of shit. Because it is. And people should stop being proud of living in a shithole.

[–]bmk2k -1 points0 points ago

Is that why every year more and more people flock to Texas because its economy is booming? Texas is the fastest growing state because there are so many job opportunities opening up. Look at liberal California failing so hard with their bullshit politics. But no continue to be ignorant with a superiority complex on the internet you dolt

[–]MrCaffeine -1 points0 points ago

That's funny, because everyone I know in Texas is poor as shit and still blindly defends their state to the death.

[–]bmk2k 0 points1 point ago

So no response, sir? (Yes, the sir part was demeaning towards you)

[–]bmk2k -1 points0 points ago

Can you give me a source to any of your petty statements? Its obvious you have no idea what you are talking about. Im not going to argue with a stupid highschooler who doesnt know their ass from a hole in the ground. Have fun hating for the sake of hating you pathetic ignorant loser.

http://abcnews.go.com/Business/san-antonio-el-paso-texas-lead-list-us/story?id=15242804#.T8WvO-XCuYA

[–]Doctalen 2 points3 points ago

Does anyone know what episode of Bugs Bunny this is?

[–]FEAR-N-LOATHING[S] 9 points10 points ago

"Rebel Rabbit" from 1949

[–]Doctalen 1 point2 points ago

Thanks!

[–]OhJustNothing 1 point2 points ago

It's about damn time!

[–]RainbowAlbatross 1 point2 points ago

Is this a joke? Googled "homeless man face eating incident florida" and this is the only thing to come up. Post a link.

[–]thewookieempire 4 points5 points ago

[–]Politikr 1 point2 points ago

'yeah...then we nuke it from orbit...its the only way to be sure!" My grandfather has a house there. He is up here now though. So lets go...

[–]illstealurcandy 1 point2 points ago

Honestly, South Florida has been trying to secede for years. We even stopped speaking English.

[–]expertocrede 0 points1 point ago

I've discovered the new Cinnamon Challenge.

Step 1: Start eating a cold-cut combo sandwich from Subway

Step 2: Accidentally click on link to news story about face-eating

Step 3: Attempt to finish cold-cut combo sandwich from Subway without puking

One word - bologna.

[–]ItsAPokemonBattle 0 points1 point ago

Coincidentally, the first time I read the article, I was sitting in my town's Subway eating a ham sandwich.

[–]Iloldalot 0 points1 point ago

I listen to a comedian named Christopher Titus. And he always talks about how fucked up Florida is

[–]Finnishalzheimerskid 0 points1 point ago

There was an incident in Georgia too though, so gotta cut it off further north.

[–]ElAvestruz 0 points1 point ago

So we're gonna cut off America's schlong?

[–]Crankrune 0 points1 point ago

When are we going to do this with New Jersey.

[–]mnutta90 0 points1 point ago

Trust me it's just Miami, the rest of FL is less cannibalistic.

[–]stillMe 0 points1 point ago

bahahahahahaha..just now seeing this.. lmaooooooooooooo A word to the wise, assemble your zombie apocalypse team now.. Don't forget, you need a crossbow expert

[–]girlent 0 points1 point ago

I was born and raised in Florida, I never thought it was all that bad. Then I moved to Boston for college. Florida. Be. Cray.

[–]BroxySC 0 points1 point ago

We should castrate the USA?

[–]Xanthan81 0 points1 point ago

As a native Floridian, I think this needs to happen! I mean, we've had enough of you "Northern States" judging our face-eating hobbies!

[–]pwk3 0 points1 point ago

Bugs!! You cut off U.S.A.'s manhood!

[–]ajburns 0 points1 point ago

The best way I've ever heard Florida described was "If you took America and shook it, anything that couldn't hold on ended up in Florida."

[–]Teslanaut 0 points1 point ago

Don't forget to attract all the religious fundamentalists there. Let them crate their own country with their own laws based on the bible. It shall be a grand experiment.

[–]Minion666 -3 points-2 points ago

Because Florida is the only place that has PCP.

[–]wtfisdisreal -1 points0 points ago

Yes I'm sure we can destroy an entire state based on one psychopath on drugs...

[–]Odusei 5 points6 points ago

Hey, no one suggested destroying the state, just removing it from the rest of us.

[–]pigs_have_flown -3 points-2 points ago

This is on the front page twice... At the exact same time...