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1354
1355

Life Goal (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by doggerpogger

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[–]trev2010 90 points91 points ago

I think it would be funnier to buy out the entire concert in secret except for one ticket. That lucky buyer would either feel awesome, or hopefully awkward.

[–]afrobotics 43 points44 points ago

Wait in line to make sure you're first buying a ticket, let a pretty person go in front of you. Buy all the rest of the tickets. A date without having to ask!

[–]spacebrony 13 points14 points ago

Is your name Gatsby?

[–]feureau 0 points1 point ago

Wait, I've never read the book, so, did this scenario happen in the story or something?

[–]spacebrony 2 points3 points ago

Not exactly, but it's a very Gatsby thing to do.

[–]feureau 0 points1 point ago

oh okay..

[–]mainstreaminghipster 41 points42 points ago

"hi!" "..." "so why are we the only 2 persons here?" "I bought all the other tickets so we two could be alone..."
yea, I'm sure that would get you pussy!

[–]Xenxe 10 points11 points ago

on one hand your creepy...on the other your rich as all hell...

[–]spacebrony 6 points7 points ago

oh god the grammar trolls will destroy you

[–]Xenxe 2 points3 points ago

idgaf

[–]donpapillon 3 points4 points ago

Do you understand that a display of wealth and cool eccentricity like that would almost definitely get you laid?

[–]Rebarbative_Sycophan -1 points0 points ago

Well, she would definitely know you had some cash... so, it may work lol.

[–]Zcrash 2 points3 points ago

Might as well mace yourself and keep the money.

[–]afrobotics 2 points3 points ago

My life is an Adam Sandler movie until proven otherwise.

[–]OnTheLeft 39 points40 points ago

This is a stand-up bit by jason manford

[–]bastard_thought 5 points6 points ago

Thanks for the source

[–]superbossY2K 73 points74 points ago

This would indeed be worth a lot of money

[–]Carb0nMonoxide 10 points11 points ago

I'm surprised no one has come up with a dollar value of approximately how much it will cost.

[–]pieguyfly 7 points8 points ago

Let's say $50 tickets for a local but successful artist. In a non-stadium venue maybe about 1000 people? Okay so that's about $50,000

Now if you do this for say...Radiohead...its about $120 in a pretty big venue (but not stadium) of 20,000

That's $2,400,000

[–]nightripper 2 points3 points ago

Most concerts I go to are like 25 most I have spent so far is Bon iver next month and it was about 50

[–]pieguyfly 0 points1 point ago

The Panics, a local Aussie band were $30 for me, but Kimbra, whom is slowly making waves around the world, is about $50. My Radiohead tickets for the end of the year were $130 for a pretty big but not that big arena. Also I think my Ben Folds tickets were about $90 last year but I can't remember.

[–]nightripper 0 points1 point ago

Well I guess concerts in Orlando are cheaper. I got radiohead tickets for my birthday and I'm pretty sure they were ~80 dollars. I had never heard of kimbra but I like them a lot.

[–]Jrodkin 0 points1 point ago

So basically, Bill Gates may one day do this?

I really wanna see the band's reaction.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Jrodkin 0 points1 point ago

It doesn't mean he's an idiot, it means he has money to blow (a SHITLOAD of money to blow) and can spend it how he wants. 2.4 million is obviously a lot, but not nearly as to Bill Gates.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Paid 60 for a nosebleed section seat for Foo Fighters concert in January 2008. The venue held approximately 16,000. I don't know what front row/floor seats were priced at. That's the end of the word problem, good luck on your final.

[–]jetpacktuxedo 0 points1 point ago

It depends on the band and venue, so there isn't any real was to get a good estimate. For example, the last concert I went to (Fun. in Madison, WI) could probably have been entirely bought out for less than the cost of a nice car.

[–]Vranak 0 points1 point ago

At my local venue, Rogers Arena, we'll say 15,000 people x $40 per average ticket (on the extreme low end) = $600,000

Yeah, I think I'll save my money for such banalities as I don't know... food maybe.

[–]The_Real_JS 0 points1 point ago

You mean 600,000 right?

[–]dubs2317 -1 points0 points ago

It obviously depends on the venue, and ticket price.

[–]khrak 23 points24 points ago

Not really, you could just buy a ticket to Nickelback.

[–]feureau 0 points1 point ago

I wonder if it'd be cheaper to just hire the artist + equipment to your own private party?

[–]cattrain 1 point2 points ago

Probably almost every time.

[–]quasiquasar 15 points16 points ago

I think that would be the artist's face as well

[–]savant-garde 10 points11 points ago

If I'm ever that rich, I'm going to a high end foods store, finding the wine aisle, and running down it with my hands out knocking all the wine that I can off of the shelves. Then I will kindly pay for it, assist in cleaning, and leave.

[–]Deerskin 0 points1 point ago

why would you do that to wine you monster

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Syn7axError 2 points3 points ago

Which they have to do, being that they set up the stage and whatnot. It's never going to be empty.

[–]SweetLeafKush 1 point2 points ago

Don't the roadies do that? Someone could blare a soundtrack that's nothing but sounds from a screaming crowd and totally fake out a band!

But the roadies would have to be in on it lol

[–]Vranak 1 point2 points ago

lol pay them $100 apiece for this dumbass prank

This whole thread is just plain stupid.

[–]SweetLeafKush 0 points1 point ago

Meh... I enjoyed it.

[–]americanslang59 0 points1 point ago

Obviously if the arena is completely empty, the crew is going to inform the artist.

[–]SweetLeafKush 0 points1 point ago

If you've got enough cash to buy out an arena, I'm sure you can buy the silence of a music crew for a few hours. After all, it is a joke.

[–]americanslang59 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, as it is a joke, I definitely think you could get the crew members to not say anything but I just do not think it could pan out perfectly.

[–]tszweds 6 points7 points ago

or this: http://i.imgur.com/37Lu9.jpg

[–]peacebuster 7 points8 points ago

My life goal is to go into an expensive restaurant and tell the waiter, "Give me one of every item on the menu."

[–]sm4cm 1 point2 points ago

Mines to buy a 69 chevelle for my dad

[–]Dogmaster 1 point2 points ago

Rock on.

[–]nagooyen 0 points1 point ago

Maybe you should stop spending all your money on weed then.

[–]sm4cm 1 point2 points ago

Youre an /r/funny kinda guy

[–]Deerskin -2 points-1 points ago

that's a pretty good goal. mine is get L-L-L-LAAAAID

[–]CorduroyZz 4 points5 points ago

If you were willing to invest a little more into it, I'd say fill as many seats as you can with cardboard cutouts of yourself.

[–]zoqfotpik 2 points3 points ago

To be honest, I'd be thrilled to give a private concert to Bill Cosby.

[–]apullin 2 points3 points ago

This did definitely happen once ... it was with a pretty big name band, too ... but I can't remember who it was, or find the wiki page on it. I recall that the band refused to play, and the guy subsequently sued them and won. Someone here will dig it up ...

[–]brownboy13Delhiting your posts since 2012[M] 2 points3 points ago

Removed - Picture of text. Please submit this as a self post.

[–]docblue 4 points5 points ago

it's implied that this person would be eating jello pudding.

[–]wOlfLisK 12 points13 points ago

My life goal is to buy out a nickelback concert just so nobody has to go.

[–]Tyler1851 43 points44 points ago

But then you would be giving them more money then they would have even been able to make on the show.

[–]bastard_thought 7 points8 points ago

True, how likely is a sold-out Nickelback concert nowadays?

[–]americanslang59 0 points1 point ago

Well, considering that their newest record sold almost 300,000 copies in it's first week, they definitely have a large fan base.

[–]bastard_thought 0 points1 point ago

If you only offer enough room for 250 people, it may be sold out. Offer room for 50,000, and I doubt it.

Probably not the best indication of popularity -- 300,000 albums doesn't quite constitute a sold out concert. But I see your point.

But I'll admit I'm ignorant on music and sales statistics.

[–]americanslang59 1 point2 points ago

I have a degree in music business and I tour managed bands for three years. Album sales usually do equal attendance at concerts. But I do see your point; One of the artists I toured with was heavily pirated but had great attendance at shows, as well as massive t-shirt sales.

[–]bastard_thought 0 points1 point ago

Okay, I appreciate the expertise.

[–]RedSeed 3 points4 points ago

You.

[–]Vranak 1 point2 points ago

Do you honestly believe that people who go to Nickelback shows aren't enjoying themselves? Is your head stuck that far up your own ass? People do like Nickelback and rock out to their shit, rest assured. Probably not people that you or I would want to hang around with, but I wouldn't question their sincerity.

[–]wOlfLisK 0 points1 point ago

Calm down, it was just a joke. Don't get your knickers in a twist.

[–]EllmoreDisco 0 points1 point ago

I really feel I should post something along the lines of "SO BRAVE" at this point, but even that feels cliche now.

[–]MayorEmanuel -3 points-2 points ago

LOL NICKELBACK SUCKS AMIRITE!! UPVOTES ONTHE LEFT!!!

[–]Zingbrit 3 points4 points ago

But imagine how hated you would be by everyone who actually wanted to go to that show.

[–]OMGWTFROFLOL 6 points7 points ago

Or by the people who collect the parking fees.

[–]ShineeBep 1 point2 points ago

Or as soon as they come out, stand up and start cheering like you've never cheered before. Like, totally overreact and make it seem like you're watching the best concert in the history of concerts. If they say anything, start screaming "I LOVE YOU" and continue to cheer.
Or bring another person with you and do this in a pair.

[–]Vranak 1 point2 points ago

C:\killjoy.exe

I'm sure a stagehand would notice the utter lack of people and pass this along to the performer.

[–]Morgan19 1 point2 points ago

If I could like this a thousand times over...

[–]ModernRonin 1 point2 points ago

Cos-troll. "Porblem?"

[–]DeepHorse 0 points1 point ago

You see, the kids, they listen to the rap music

[–]epepepturbo 0 points1 point ago

That would be a very expensive prank, but there is no sacrifice too great for the God of Comedy. Hell, I've sacrificed my whole life to him/her!

[–]Retawtrams 0 points1 point ago

For some reason this image pops into my head http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxkhp2WSds1qfyxtn.gif (Apologize for the link. I'm on alien blue, stuck at work)

[–]DJ_Tips 0 points1 point ago

Unless they're a manufactured pop act you have to remember that many bands started out playing to empty bars. They'd probably just have a fit of nostalgia.

[–]Pizzaman99 0 points1 point ago

If that's really his life goal, why hasn't he done it by now? Dude's got millions and millions.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]cappa16 13 points14 points ago

http://i.qkme.me/3ogceg.jpg

[–]notAlan 3 points4 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/92vfw.jpg

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]patmandu 1 point2 points ago

This is a stand-up bit by jason manford

[–]wesleyt89 0 points1 point ago

ty, have an upvote playa

[–]Syncopia -3 points-2 points ago

I've thought of doing this before.

[–]Tan_Man -5 points-4 points ago

WHATS MAKING ALL THESE WATERMELONS WIGGLE?!

[–]super_INEK -4 points-3 points ago

mfw

[–]SweetLeafKush -4 points-3 points ago

Fucking - Genius

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