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top 200 commentsshow all 285

[–]I_Lase_You 2735 points2736 points ago

This one was a little more ambitious. Watch til the end.

Happy birthday!!

I will lase for you. Like this.

End result.

[–]thalescosta 487 points488 points ago

By looking on your posts, I don't think you get the recognition you deserve.

Keep up being awesome :)

[–]SpacemanSpiff56 154 points155 points ago

Definitely. I don't see why he gets so many downvotes, he's pretty awesome.

[–]NeedsRiotJuice 129 points130 points ago

I think everyone must get excited and upvote from the user page, which reddit accepts and then adds a matching downvote.

[–]SpacemanSpiff56 68 points69 points ago

I just did that. Now I hate myself.

[–]NeedsRiotJuice 55 points56 points ago

No, don't be like that. I only discovered this two weeks ago. You have to go to the post to upvote the comment.

[–]HappyReaper 17 points18 points ago

Also, as I understand it, Reddit also adds upvotes and downvotes by itself (something to do with defence against vote-bots). Thus, the total score of a post or comment is exact, but the amounts of upvotes and downvotes are not.

[–]alvinm 7 points8 points ago

It does add them on submissions, but I'm not sure about the comments.

[–]Skylarity 12 points13 points ago

I'm almost positive it does, because there's no way ~3500 people would hate the lasercake.

EDIT: ~3500 as of this comment.

[–]frankyroads 4 points5 points ago

I think reddit likes to keep everyone in the 2000-3000 upvote range. The RPG AMA was probably the highest total I have ever seen. ~4500 when I got to it

[–]alexanderpas 8 points9 points ago

[–]Coloneljesus 2 points3 points ago

That post is ancient though. Probably the system wasn't in place then.

[–]Einundzwanzig 0 points1 point ago

Yeah but now I have to upvote that...

Edit: YOU CAN'T. BLASPHEMY.

[–]marchingfrogs 2 points3 points ago

I think what happens is that the vote total is a sigmoid function of the actual number of upvotes/downvotes and reddits adds fake votes to make it come out that way. This is on top of all the anti-spam and user page fake votes.

The sibiling comment refers to a post from before they added this.

[–]jrriojase 0 points1 point ago

I got to Neil Degrasse Tyson's latest AMA on the frontpage with 7500 in less than an hour.

[–]englishgentabouttown 45 points46 points ago

It does what?!

[–]NeedsRiotJuice 66 points67 points ago

you cant just upvote from a user's page, it adds a downvote. I discovered this trying to show appreciation to IllustratingReddit. Gotta go to the post to upvote.

[–]fiveleven 11 points12 points ago

Dumb question, but does that work in reverse? If you down vote from the user page does Reddit give you an up vote? Seems logical....but probably not. :(

[–]NeedsRiotJuice 42 points43 points ago

I think it does. But that is based on no evidence at all.

[–]wynded 20 points21 points ago

It's called drive by downvoting and no, none of them will count. Hope this helps :)

[–]Dulljack 8 points9 points ago

I believe all votes from the user page are canceled out, keeps you from murdering someone by downvoting everything they've ever said.

[–]rapidpenguin 1 point2 points ago

You may have misunderstood (or not, in which case ignore this post). It doesn't only add a downvote, it adds both an upvote and a downvote, so basically your vote is neutralized. This is to stop scripts and bots from automatically voting on a specific user. This most likely works for both upvotes and downvotes (it wouldn't make much sense if it didn't)

[–]sleeplessone 0 points1 point ago

Yes. It's to prevent people from getting pissed off at someone, going to their userpage and downvoting everything.

[–]waterlight 6 points7 points ago

If that's how it works, then why did they even make it possible to vote from the user's page in the first place?

[–]NeedsRiotJuice 25 points26 points ago

Excellent question. I'm on it. I'm drunk, but I'm on it.

[–]flatsperm 2 points3 points ago

I went to your userpage to upvote this comment. There's no downvote. I don't believe everything people say about reddit's anti-spam measures. Reddit doesn't exactly tell us what they're doing and when they are changing it.

[–]aywwts4 2 points3 points ago

I just went to his page and upvoted seven things, he now has one more upvote and one more downvote in a very short order.

[–]Mrdanke 1 point2 points ago

To confuse people who drive-by downvote

[–]TMIguy 13 points14 points ago

TIL

[–]LoriStrode 0 points1 point ago

Wait wait... it adds downvotes ??

[–]thestray 0 points1 point ago

What's the point of that? D:

[–]mister_gone 0 points1 point ago

Woah, woah, woah. This is a thing? Fuck!

[–]thalescosta 1 point2 points ago

I don't either :(

[–]daisyisfly 1 point2 points ago

He IS awesome. When my last reddit gifter ditched me, he came along and made me so happy and excited with an awesome personalized Irish Hello Kitty wooden coaster he made to tide me over til he made and bought me 3 t-shirts for the t-shirt exchange. This guy is rad.

[–]guesto 1 point2 points ago

Because hatas be hatin'.

[–]theimpolitegentleman 16 points17 points ago

GOLD THIS MAN ASAP

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

Keep up being awesome :)

Added a little something to that

[–]Lost4468 9 points10 points ago

It's not that, he gets a lot of downvotes for some reason, if you have RES it's like 55% upvotes, 50% downvotes on a lot of his posts :/.

[–]urgit39 33 points34 points ago

105% votes! i sense errors

[–]thalescosta 2 points3 points ago

YES! THIS! That's what I'm talking about. The dude is awesome, his work is awesome and he even makes those pads and offer to ship them to people for free. I mean, dude's got heart.

[–]Bridgemaster11 110 points111 points ago

Too bad it tasted awful

[–]the_troller 145 points146 points ago

I bet you put a lot of wood in your mouth, if you're anything like your mother.

[–]marvinjenkins 78 points79 points ago

[–]the_troller 25 points26 points ago

I never get tired of that gif.

[–]MikaelaBalls 38 points39 points ago

I do.

[–]Bridgemaster11 14 points15 points ago

I haven't yet but could see myself eventually tiring of that gif.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

thats not a wise thing to say.

[–]Bridgemaster11 26 points27 points ago

wise that?

[–]aronidus 4 points5 points ago

This guy.

[–]nxtfari 0 points1 point ago

If I wasn't broke, I'd buy you gold for that.

[–]Bridgemaster11 9 points10 points ago

My rebuttal: a picture of my mother

[–]AFDIT 11 points12 points ago

I was expecting a beaver

[–]Bridgemaster11 1 point2 points ago

I searched for Joan cleaver (beaver's mother) but I believe it's just a picture of a woman named Joan with a knife incorrectly labelled a cleaver.

[–]VoiceOfTruthiness 5 points6 points ago

Oh God, I just realized he was called Beaver Cleaver. Why would any woman ever want to have sex with him?!?

[–]this_is_notmyopinion 2 points3 points ago

I need to floss.

[–]onionwithgarlic 13 points14 points ago

You're not getting enough karma! I'd like to find out what happens if you run your hand under that laser. Will there be blood? 0_0

[–]I_Lase_You 70 points71 points ago

Sometimes I give myself laser tattoos. Like this.

[–]Temporarily__Alone 11 points12 points ago

What's the pain level?

Does it heal/fade? How fast?

[–]I_Lase_You 37 points38 points ago

Not too bad, 5/10, hurts for 3 or 4 days. Heals completely and is gone in a couple months.

[–]Temporarily__Alone 20 points21 points ago

Can... can you up a video of you giving yourself one?

[–]I_Lase_You 18 points19 points ago

Sure. I've been planning on burning a Skyrim one soon. I'll record it.

[–]sourpatchkittenxx 1 point2 points ago

You should do an IamA. Don't think very many people can do what you do!

[–]alphanovember 0 points1 point ago

Yay. For the first time ever I've subscribed to an account.

How much did it cost for that setup, and why do you use something heals (wood) instead of something like plastic or metal? I want to do this.

[–]pikapikapower 0 points1 point ago

I am still interested in seeing this.... Love the work

[–]shortkid4169 17 points18 points ago

If it actually goes away in a couple of months, I vote for a laser tattoo of Snoo (reddit alien).

[–]CaffeinatedGuy 0 points1 point ago

That is awesome!

[–]tehhunter 33 points34 points ago

Are you a wizard.jpg

[–]t3hcoolness 16 points17 points ago

Are%20you%20a%20wizard.jpg

FTFY

[–]ecklcakes 16 points17 points ago

Definitely one of the best novelty accounts ever :)

[–]Drind 5 points6 points ago

When the wood caught fire I could actually smell it. Still can. Maybe I should check that out.

[–]J-B_Say 4 points5 points ago

[–]hfgkfh 33 points34 points ago

Just gonna leave this here. http://imgur.com/k8mdP

[–]Too_much_vodka 9 points10 points ago

That's like magic or something.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

Awesome work. What scan head are you using?

[–]I_Lase_You 9 points10 points ago

Synrad FH Flyer

[–]EpicGuard 2 points3 points ago

That was the most moving display of humanity I've seen in months.

[–]DRo_OpY 8 points9 points ago

No sharks. I am disappoint.

Srsly that was sweet

[–]I_Lase_You 76 points77 points ago

Maybe this will help. My laser.

[–]Afroderp 11 points12 points ago

The shark fin completes it. Sharks with friggen lasers on their heads!

[–]Mrdanke 6 points7 points ago

I think you mean lasers with sharks on their heads.

[–]Unusually_Happy_TD 9 points10 points ago

Class 4 right? How many watts?/ How much did you pay for a license?

[–]I_Lase_You 10 points11 points ago

Class 4, 60 watt. No license needed.

[–]LikeAgaveF 2 points3 points ago

That... is frickin' awesome.

[–]unisyst 0 points1 point ago

Do not look into the operational end of the device.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

Very cool! But it is funny that you forgot the comma. You know, since it was given to Perfectgrammar.

[–]KatJanGran 25 points26 points ago

I think his grammar was fine. You don't write Happy Birthday, then the person's name on a cake when you're using icing. Why would it be any different with a laser :)

[–]Baron_von_Retard 17 points18 points ago

Are you quoting cake makers as your source for grammar?

[–]mandeer_ 10 points11 points ago

cake grammar is different from spoken grammar is different from thesis grammar.

[–]Igotlost 8 points9 points ago

but cake grammar is the master of all grammars.

Source: I heard it on a bus once.

[–]FUCK_ME_IN_MY_MOUTH 4 points5 points ago

Were you lost on that bus?

[–]Igotlost 4 points5 points ago

Yup, but someone found me and I fucked them in the mouth.

[–]FUCK_ME_IN_MY_MOUTH 2 points3 points ago

I was wondering why you were saying "I got lost" the entire time you were fucking me in the mouth... now it makes sense.

[–]KatJanGran 0 points1 point ago

Haha. No cake makers were questioned before I made this comment. I should do some factual research!

[–]permahudef 0 points1 point ago

"Congatulations" twice from the same cake maker for different events.

[–]neruson 10 points11 points ago

Says the person who thinks :) is a suitable replacement for a question mark.

[–]KatJanGran 7 points8 points ago

I would be the person to forget a question mark! I knew I shouldn't have commented on any post pertaining to grammar.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

We Grammar Nazis always put the comma. Icing or no icing. Laser or no laser. If we don't, our brains will not stop thinking about that missing comma! Be glad you don't notice/care. It is a heavy burden for us.

[–]000g 4 points5 points ago

I was thinking the exact same thing.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

that was so kind of you... and deeply cool.

[–]gigitrix 1 point2 points ago

Holy cow! This rocks!

[–]adapotata 1 point2 points ago

brilliant!

[–]Malicious78 1 point2 points ago

That is simply awesome.

It's the thought that counts etc, and there's more thought put into this then 80% of any gift I either get or give to friends and family. And this is from random #A to random #B! Props :) (I ofc now immediately started wondering if PerfectGrammar made a cake to himself with his own novelty account, but I'll push that thought away :P)

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]logmaster430 0 points1 point ago

It's too emotional for porn. It was more onions than boobs for me.

[–]vogueflo 1 point2 points ago

I think this is one of the sweetest things I've ever seen anyone do for someone else on the Internet.

[–]windowpanez 1 point2 points ago

Another reddit legend appears. Perhaps the internet is not such a desolate place after all.

[–]GMonsoon 1 point2 points ago

Don't know what was cooler - the laser cake itself, or the fact that you did that for a stranger! Well anyways - happy bday PerfectGrammar :OD

[–]TheoQ99 1 point2 points ago

You are one completely awesome dude (or lady) Keep up the amazing work!

[–]PewPewPewLasers 1 point2 points ago

pew pew pew!

[–]andersonimes 1 point2 points ago

Excuse the ignorance. Is this real time? Does it really work that fast?

[–]I_Lase_You 5 points6 points ago

Yes, it's real time. And it really runs a lot faster than that. I slow it down so you can kinda follow the beam as it cuts. It's not as cool if the picture just kinda pops up there, it's better when you can watch it draw. These videos have it set at about 3 inches per second. It can run up to 300 ips supposedly, but practically 35 ips is about as high as you go..

[–]Zrk2 1 point2 points ago

I love this novelty account.

[–]TragicHero257 1 point2 points ago

And this is why I still have hope for humanity.

[–]boomfarmer 1 point2 points ago

How did you get the 'candles' to light? Was that just the wood on fire, or was there some more nefarious trick?

[–]I_Lase_You 8 points9 points ago

Ah! Been waiting for this question. There was indeed a bit of trickery involved. It's actually 2 video clips joined together. Notice I burned the candles twice. The first time was just to drill a hole through the wood. Then I stopped the video, took the wood off and from the back I stuck little pieces of cotton into the holes I'd just drilled, then soaked them with lighter fluid. Then I put the wood back on the platform (the round magnets are there just to make sure it was aligned the same as the first time. I lasered the "hole drill" pattern again, resulting in the cotton igniting. Watch it again, and just when the second candle routine runs, you can see the little white pieces of cotton in the holes.

[–]bro-fist 1 point2 points ago

ɯϣ

[–]Zljutrix 2 points3 points ago

I like where the music is heading. A perfect birthday gift.

[–]Raneados 2 points3 points ago

Very rigorously extremely good. The cake was excellent, but the lettering sold it. And the epilogue! Oh goodness yes. Good commitment to the bit, and I appreciate a good commitment, almost above all else.

[–]Cepheia -1 points0 points ago

That's too cool for school. Holy shit.

[–]redd_itch 0 points1 point ago

Stay cool, I_Lase_You

[–]Baron_von_Retard 0 points1 point ago

You are awesome.

[–]lostmatthew 0 points1 point ago

You are my favorite person in existence.

[–]BrawndoTTM 0 points1 point ago

First thing first, you're awesome

Secondly, where can I get one of them lasers?

[–]thebiggestone 0 points1 point ago

pure epicness and sweetness

[–]Crazy_G1raffe 0 points1 point ago

damn ur laser cutter is very powerful.

[–]DunKrug 0 points1 point ago

Now that's what I call a fucking novelty account!

[–]Tree-Fingers 0 points1 point ago

is that a YAG laser you are using?? and what software are you using to control the laser? Nice work :) I do similar work.

[–]I_Lase_You 4 points5 points ago

CO2. Using Winmark by Synrad.

[–]esooMehTmAI 0 points1 point ago

My smoke alarm went off right as the lights came on and the candles went out.

[–]kyleswimmer87 0 points1 point ago

What was the wattage of your laser?

[–]knotonce 0 points1 point ago

Is there a place where I can buy these from you?

[–]Cafem 0 points1 point ago

Must upvote this more.

[–]veritascaeli 0 points1 point ago

you can make a career with some planning.

[–]yibgib 0 points1 point ago

Why are you being downvoted?

[–]DarthWeezie 0 points1 point ago

Your a Good Guy Greg.

[–]xyphonic 0 points1 point ago

One of the best things I've seen on the internet. Nicely done.

[–]ReallyLoudLaugher 0 points1 point ago

You are friggin' awesome.

[–]agedvanilla 0 points1 point ago

your fucken amazing :) if only we had more thoughtful people like you in the world.

[–]RageDoll 13 points14 points ago

Dude, your 20th Birthday looks kinda like mine. But more exciting.

I had to work... I went in wearing a "20 Today" badge, I didn't get a single happy birthday that day.

Happy Birthday dude.

[–]moojumpedoverthemoon 10 points11 points ago

Happy belated 20th birthday.

[–]RageDoll 1 point2 points ago

Thank you moo. And Happy Future/Belated Birthday to you!

[–]HumanSmurf 12 points13 points ago

[–]d-atribe 14 points15 points ago

Happy birthday!

[–]PerfectGrammar[S] 6 points7 points ago

Thanks! You should be celebrating my birthday, I mean, at least someone should..

[–]iamadogforreal 63 points64 points ago

Fixed it for you:

http://imgur.com/wS9SP

[–]Bama011 14 points15 points ago

Happy Bearthday.

Ill show myself out now.

[–]tesla3327 4 points5 points ago

I'd say that's BEARly a pun, but it may go the distance. Although I'd hate to see Reddit turn in a PANDAmonium over a pun thread. But POOH, I think I might join in anyway.

[–]Gigglemonstah 1 point2 points ago

Dont leave, Bama011, just bear through it! Don't cave to the exasperated sighs!

[–]Overestimated_Spoon 7 points8 points ago

I know that feel bro. :(

[–]starbucksnut 8 points9 points ago

Today is my son's 20th, and he wouldn't let me make it special for him and then he was just an ass before he left for work...I am so very sad right now and I don't even know what I did... So Happy 20th to you!

[–]geoff422 1 point2 points ago

I got over birthdays at age 13 (my bar mitzvah) when I learned it wasn't about me, it was about my mother.

[–]clearier 3 points4 points ago

Some people get weird about birthdays, especially around that age. Don't take it personal, I'm sure just the act of trying to do something for him meant a lot more than you think.

[–]orkid68 0 points1 point ago

Part of it is probably that you’ve already done a lot for him by being his mom. He doesn’t want you to do more than you have to.

[–]teh_sheep 0 points1 point ago

It really doesn't have to be something you did, a birthday could be an emotional day regardless, just because of the spotlight you have on you - or disappointments of life.

And parents really can't solve everything. At least you try.

[–]derpawan 2 points3 points ago

This is also how I celebrated my 21st birthday! Who needs parties?

[–]PMR038 6 points7 points ago

On your birthday, go out and treat yourself to a nice dinner with a book and a movie.

[–]PerfectGrammar[S] 5 points6 points ago

I'm thinking of watching "The Dictator", I heard it was good fun. A nice dinner is good too, maybe some Italian cuisine. Books, on the other hand, would just depress the cactus out of me.

[–]travisnotcool 5 points6 points ago

I'd like the cactus depressed out of me. It's a mighty uncomfortable object to have inside oneself.

[–]NSFWs_Your_Photos 16 points17 points ago

NSFW'd that photo for you:

NSFW

Hope you enjoy'd our fast and friendly service.

[–]SmellyGoateeGuy 9 points10 points ago

Now that's a large bear-penis. Assuming you are a brown bear your torso-and-head would be between 1.7 and 2.8 m.

The penis depicted is 8 mm compared to the 17 mm torso-and-head leaving us with a penis-size between 80 cm and 2.8/1.7*80 cm ~= 131 cm. Scary shit, dude.

[–]orkid68 1 point2 points ago

Novelty accounts are getting a little too common.

And by a little, I mean quit cluttering the site, fuck off and die.

[–]wm1pyro 4 points5 points ago

Congratulations! You beat teen pregnancy. If you were close to where I live, I'd have a beer with you. But I'm assuming you're not in the midwest. Anyway, cheers to you on your birthday!

[–]S_Man_aLive 4 points5 points ago

happy birthday ! i read perfectGrammar and my mind read GrammerNazi..... if that ain't you, I'll open up a couple of beers in your name..... cos someone should get drunk ...but you are 20.... so you shouldn't be for another year.... unless it is legal for where you live.....then alcohol is bad for you.... it makes you blabber like this on reddit.... happy new year....dont drink and drive

[–]WiseCynic 3 points4 points ago

PGrammar, you're never alone when you have an online community like this one to turn to. No, we can't be physically in the room with you, but what does that matter when there are folks who don't want you to feel alone on a special day and will take the time to acknowledge said day?

Look at it this way. You got a day to do anything you wanted to do without having to entertain a bunch of people! Your present to yourself!

So, a Happy Burpday to you.

[–]neontrain 3 points4 points ago

happy birthday! it's mine as well :)

[–]S_Man_aLive 3 points4 points ago

happy birthday 2 u 2

[–]chewyice 3 points4 points ago

It's ok, that's how I've spent all my birthdays since I turned 15.

[–]BeerMeBlue 2 points3 points ago

Just wait until you're 21 and you can do this exact same thing with alcohol... then repeat that every weekend for years. This is my life... also with Xbox.

[–]onebighoopla 2 points3 points ago

HAPPY BIRTHDAY<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

[–]HBcubs 1 point2 points ago

I'll celebrate for you. what kind of drinks should I make?

[–]clearier 1 point2 points ago

Well if he doesn't respond, have a dark and stormy for me! I'm on emergency call for a vet hospital, and no one likes drunken surgery

[–]HBcubs 1 point2 points ago

You sir are a sir.

[–]good5u 1 point2 points ago

Today is my Birthday too. High-fives all around!

[–]HomunculusGluttony 1 point2 points ago

Same here, fun celebrating my birth on a holiday of grieving ...

[–]katierex 1 point2 points ago

Been there! It's ok, sending my love from NorCal!

[–]reeniereenie 1 point2 points ago

Happy birthday, birthday buddy! Mine's on Tuesday.

[–]aleksit1 1 point2 points ago

You sir are celebrating the wrong person's birthday. 'Tis mine.

[–]Zexis 1 point2 points ago

I want to be a bear, too!

[–]S10MEB95 1 point2 points ago

Happy Birthday from the UK :D

[–]PerfectGrammar[S] 6 points7 points ago

Hope you have some sexy olympic games. Can I come visit sometime?

[–]ScumbagScout 1 point2 points ago

Happy Birthday from Canada!

[–]Rocker232 1 point2 points ago

Get off reddit and go celebrate even if it is just you. Happy Birthday!

[–]jordorb 0 points1 point ago

Happy birthday from Texas!

[–]epicpineapple 0 points1 point ago

awesome!! happy birthday!!! the big 2 0 !!!

[–]onedavester 0 points1 point ago

Congrats! What an Awesome gift! Happy Birthday!

[–]buddyigetit 0 points1 point ago

What about a better picture of a cake if you're going to lase it?

[–]GibsonJunkie 0 points1 point ago

My 20th is exactly two weeks from today. Mine will look the same. :(

[–]sharpielover 0 points1 point ago

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

[–]foxh8er 0 points1 point ago

We share birthdays! Happy birthday!

[–]Djet3k 0 points1 point ago

happy birthday! Lase fo you you rock! now lase some joker scars on your face!:) they'll be gone in a month or so anyway :)

[–]adamjcollins 0 points1 point ago

Forever Alone :'(

[–]asdadsadsads 0 points1 point ago

[–]neededa2ndname 0 points1 point ago

Happy downvote!

[–]SolomonKull 0 points1 point ago

This is how I spend every day.

[–]GroundWalker 0 points1 point ago

Know that feel bro, turning 18 today.

[–]divinesleeper 0 points1 point ago

I expect to be doing the same in a couple of days :(