I committed mass ant-genocide today.

I am not proud of mine actions. The 3rd peace of Merriam once again failed. Talks to keep them from my bathroom and back in their homeland broke down once again - as they have in past times. The ants try to use those talks to purchase invasion times. Of this I am certain. Mine enemy persists to delay the hearings or ignore the process as agreed upon. They care not for their aribitors's wisdom.

So why should I follow the rules of war we had previously agreed upon?

How do you reach a moral peace with an enemy who will not acquiesce to reasonable terms? Certainly chemical warfare does not seem a reasonable answer, but the foe scoffs at the terms of every agreement. Do they deserve it then?

If they would accept a small burden of rent to live in the kitchen/bathroom, I would accept (and tell my wife that I 'couldn't get rid of them). But when peace agreements past have been so ignored, why would I serve the current - if it were to even come around a forth time? Would it not be expected to fall as in past times?

No, they force my hand to unthinkable measures. I can't stop them with conventional means. Though I have quashed many of their footmen in the past, they continue to send more scouts and soldiers. I destroy legions and yet am onset by the next arrival. Do they not die? Does not their collective conscious mourn those who have been lain to death at my foot? They come with greater numbers as the days pass.

Yet I am only a single man at the head of this invasion. Their morality be damned! - as they have no respect for their own kind. Were any species to lead theirs into such slaughter - they deserve the wrath of pestilence. I shall sent them to their God!

Still their death seems senseless, as there are many yet unexploited resources in this world. Why must mine enemy want for mine? Is their own not enough? Why can't the ants limit their own growth to sustain the empire they already possess?

Are they deserving of the gas? If one among those brainless soldiers merely possesses the capability of something greater, have I committed myself to evils beyond His sight? It seems an impossible task to find that one among the Heathens. I worry that this is what may be asked of me.

Further, the cruelty of their death gives pause. I feel that I betray an unwritten code of all living beings.

Oh God - how does one seek redemption in the face of onslaught and mayhem? I ask for peace but I receive no quarter from mine enemy. I find it justifiable in my own head to wipe their progeny from the earth! In fact I seek to do so. How does a man stay true to himself in these times. Does not he look to his children to see the next casualty of his war against the invader?

No saint can go to war and be untarnished. The blood of strife stains even the bystanders. If they do not help, they must still be judged for that inaction. To sort the guilty from the innocent - thankfully it be another's job. I live and I fight another day.

I feel only numb towards their casualties. Towards the suffering of their kind. I cannot imagine them as equals. To do so would complicate the questions even more. They have chosen their deaths. Else I would be monstrous and undeserving of thy good nature.

Death to the ants and tomorrow be reborn of good intent once again.